>> sean: all right. that's all the time we have left this evening. thank you for watching. please set your dvr so you never ever, ever miss an episode of "hannity." good news. let not your heart be troubled. greg gutfeld standing by to put a smile on your face. have a great night. thanks for being with us. ♪

>> greg: yes! yes! you're welcome. [applause] you're welcome. happy thursday, everybody. all right, all right. you must remember when donald trump claimed his campaign was being spied on and the main street media called him crazy. like most things, trump calls it correctly. he's like a white version of miss cleo. don't remember her? rip. new report from michael sh shellenberger. the u.s. tell community illegally mobilized intelligence agencies to target trump. this was before the election. the government and foreign powers spied on trump along with others in his campaign in order

to keep him from running and you from voting. making them lower than joe biden's scrotum on a hot day. [laughter] allegedly, the u.s. asked other members of the five is -- love their burgers -- intel agencies to spy on trump. in other words, that global criminal enterprise known as the democrats first decided russian collusion was true and then had their comrades look for evidence. if true, our spies illegally surveilled united states citizens for political reasons. but why you ask? well, trump was the first real anti-establishment candidate to have a chance at becoming president. the establishment wouldn't have it. so they committed to taking him out. when he rightly suspected it, he and his supporters were mocked

me mercilessly. the media lapped it up like joe over a fresh bowl of cream rinse. now, according to this new report, intel related to this alleged surveillance of the trump campaign is in a 10-inch binder that trump ordered declassified at the end of his term. he says 10 inches but probably more like 6. the whereabouts of the binder are unknown. where could it be? maybe it's in the garage with joe's corvette. next to the hooker that hunter dismembered. maybe it's under a pile of coke in the west wing or somewhere no one would ever look, under jerry nadler's extra lap skin. so they could hate trump all they want, but he's protected by the same laws as everybody else. the united states constitution doesn't close out with this is all true unless we don't like you. you wanted brief of a deep state? the deep state just served it up. might want to reexamine your own

hate for trump. likely it's based on a hoax served to you by the same [bleep]. again, trump called it while others played dumb. maybe they aren't playing? here's a golden oldie from our favorite lemon. >> maybe the biggest lie of all repeatedly, making the outrageous claim that the so-called deep state spied on his campaign. he did it again today. >> i hope it's not true, but it looks like it is. >> it's not true. it's a lie. >> wow, that guy is really good. what time is his show on? [laughter] oh, yeah. i'm sorry. he's wiping down the sneeze guard at a yonkers sizzler. love that guy. i miss him. anything more to add, don? is this not just an angry president popping off? >> this is not just an angry president popping off.

this is a deliberate and coordinated effort to save his presidency, to cast doubt on the russian investigation by repeating a lie. that repetition is a key part of the strategy here. because if you hear him say the same thing over and over and over, it gets into your head. you may start to wonder if there's some truth to it. >> greg: well, that aged as well as nancy pelosi's stem cells. it wasn't just the media denying it. former director of national intelligence, james clapper said the same thing. >> did the intelligence community spy on president trump? his campaign? >> no, we did not. >> greg: how is this hairless tree sloth not in jail? we've imprisoned protesters for taking selfies at the capitol while if guy lied under oath and tried to subvert an election. obama was asked about the spying allegations, too. >> the allegations are so absurd that even republican-controlled

committees, you know, looking into it have dismissed them. you know, attorney general barr has dismissed them. you do not allow the politicization of the criminal justice system, the intelligence system, the military. that is stuff that you keep out of politics. >> greg: really? i'd say that bomb should be eating crow, but we know that he prefers dog. do i have to explain to you that he once ate a dog? i'm going to my grave making sure that everybody knows that obama ate a dog. it's in his book. so where is the media and the dems on this story now? if they were capable of learning from their mistakes, they

wouldn't be democrats. it kills them that three reporters did all the work that they refused to do. these reporters don't work for legacy media. they make everybody look like the hacks that they are. if trump wins again, they will find another conspiracy. they will go after the voters like they already do. they're already hunting trump and his supporters like the egg rolls like the seat cushions at the view. and if biden somehow wins, sorry, you have little reason to believe it's legit. because in america, you're innocent until proven guilty. but that's for you, not the government. because the government holds the power to deceive, spy and ruin you and also cover it up with a corrupt fake news media. so it's really up to them to prove that they aren't guilty. after all, if they can spy on a president and lie about it, imagine what they can do to you. [applause]

>> let's welcome tonight's guests! when this shark bites, you need last rights. kevin o'leary! [cheers & applause] as a former miss florida citrus, she never has to worry about skurvy. morgan ortega. if he gave a eulogy, a corpse would walk out. actor and comedian, jamie lissow. and she's the first author to weigh less than her book, fox news contributor kat timpf. [applause] kevin, how you doing? >> great. >> greg: always good to see you. >> happy to be here. >> greg: i'm happy that you're here. >> thank you. i feel wonderful. >> greg: you should be. let me ask you this. coming from canada and you see

how the media pushed this story and now the story is no longer there, they don't bother to correct it. are they as bad or worse than the media in canada? >> we're not allowed media in canada anymore. are you aware of this? justin trudeau said no media. canadians walk around in bliss. i'm not kidding. it's crazy over there. >> greg: they target citizens, try to freeze bank accounts. over here they tried to take a president off of the ballot. >> yeah. this story is interesting. there's so much media attention. i want to make a note of something today that blew my mind. i was looking at advertise damage that from last week. that includes unpaid media. look at entities that scored stories and unpaid media on all channels. trump got 80% of the unpaid media. nobody else got any other time. the guy is sucking dry his competitors from getting near media. he's not paying for it.

if you're nikki haley or biden, you're saying where is the fair time rule? everything is trump all day long. that is good marketing. >> greg: it's his world. we're living in it. that's what happened in 2016. everybody gave him time and he won. i don't know how it's going to go. if he loses, it's going to be rigged. i'm just kidding. morgan, what do you -- it's kind of bizarre how everything that trump says is going to happen or has happened. it always turns out that he's at least directionally true. >> yeah. when he first says it, you think that can't be true. it sounds crazy. it turns out to be true. listen, durham, john durham, the special counsel did a four-year investigation in which he basically concluded, yeah, this was a hoax. it was unfounded. the problem is where is the accountability in any of this? i don't recall really anybody, you know, getting fired from the fbi or the cia or held accountable. instead, they get cable news

contracts. as somebody that went into the intelligence community after 9-11 because i wanted to serve my country after that happened, it's been so frustrating to see the intelligence community turn in to something that is atagging our police call progress. if you want to talk about attacking democracy, this is attacking it. you're polite sizing a community that is supposed to be there to protect the homeland. >> greg: i didn't write this questions. does the cia spying on trump remind you of your wife and kids enjoying life without you? >> i remember once my ex-wife was like hey, quit spying at me through the window. hey, you told me to clean the gutters and you locked it. i think there should be repercussions. i think they should get fired. if you get fired from the cia and you're surprised by it, you deserve it.

>> greg: that's true. >> you know what i mean? trump is kind of always right. i wish someone would go i was wrong or there should be -- i was impressed by trump. you go back. his clips really do age well. i was impressed that they were spying on 26 associates. i was like that's a popular guy. 26? i only have one associate's degree. think about the stuff that we didn't cover like hunter's laptop being deemed russian misinformation. one of my favorite stories, we never found out about cocaine in the white house. i think about it every day. i go where did the -- people go come on. it was hunter's. i don't think it was. it wasn't his. there was some left. >> good point. >> you know what i mean? [applause] >> greg: it is true. >> if you're doing cocaine, the correct dosage is the rest of

it. you're not doing cocaine and somebody goes oh, my god, we got way too much. do you have tupperware? our eyes are bigger than our noses. >> greg: nobody ever says i have leftover coke lying around. >> you take it to work. if you leave it here, we're going to do it all. >> would you like to take cocaine home with you. >> we have way too much. >> kat, has anybody ever spied on you before? if so, you could relate to the don. i remember one moment that you spied upon. remember >> no. what? >> greg: the guy with the drone. >> oh, yeah. doesn't that happen to everybody? >> greg: you look out a window. it's a great story. >> i looked out of the window and i got out of the shower. >> greg: a guy from downstairs in the park with a drone outside her window. >> yeah. it was like -- i put something on. i was like it's too late for that. >> and they let off doocy with a

slap on the wrist. did they -- >> police were looking for a guy with great timing. >> right. yeah, no, look -- whatever. >> greg: i'm sorry i brought it up. >> it's so painful. no, it's okay. we were all being spied on probably in some sense, right? i don't understand how many times we hear these kinds of stories and people are still kind of take can cia at face value. we would never. they often do. i even looked at a lot of -- i went back and looked at the media back when trump said this. it was so much more than don lemon. "the washington post." really mad at this place. saying things like spying is in the eye of the beholder. they did kind of the reverse, which you're supposed to be curious as a member of the media. okay. we want to say this didn't happen. it really -- i mean, this is

explosive what's coming out now. but is it? or did it require somebody giving enough [bleep] to check? >> greg: exactly. >> nobody does anymore. >> greg: nobody gives a crap. the worst defense of the spying that still drives me crazy, if you're doing -- >> you used to say that all the time. >> greg: i know. i changed my mind. >> if you do anything wrong, why should you be worried about spying? i realize there's a lot of things that i do that are not wrong but if you ever saw me do it, you would feel really gross. because i do. yet i can't stop. all right. up next, why disney couldn't keep quiet after the capitol riots.

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[applause] >> greg: did the sham

insurrection turn disney in awoke direction? how disney lost dough thanks to awoke ceo. in a new video from january 2021, bob iger insinuated how the january 6th riots spurred disney in to taking a stand politically. chris ruffo obtained the clip that said the zoom call was advertised as a company response to january 6th. roll it, doris. >> we have tended to shy away from politics. in doing so, i think we have shied away from talking about issues that aren't political at all like the issues that we're talking about today. because we believe in doing so maybe looks like we're taking a stand. in that reality, we should be taking a stand. commenting about what happened in washington last week. that's not political on our part at all. we know that what we saw was fundamentally wrong. it was rooted in hatred and

disrespect and contempt and intolerance. we should feel free as a company to comment about that without retribution. >> greg: have you have it straight from iger himself. disney was going to start taking a stand because of january 6th. but taking a stand meant taking their woke dei agenda public. suddenly everything was activist. mary poppin's because larry poppin's. toy story is now sex toy story. darth vader apologized for pretending to be black. and all seven dwarfs joined the women's swim team. now i'm sure this virtual signalling made guilty white executives feel good about themselves but made traditional customers feel action well as tinker bell with a bulge.

the company's stock price plummeted. if it wasn't for the $80 mickey mouse t-shirts and charging $9 for a bottle of water at disney world, they would have wept bust. they lost millions while feuding with ron desantis. as for what bob iger said, january 6th wasn't likely the cause. more likely the excuse to weigh through more esg and support for blm and dei. no wonder they profits were mia. sadly, the woke film keeps coming. check out this clip from an upcoming film. >> sweet hear, i'm nonbinary now. goofy what are you doing here? >> i want to be gender fluid too? plus i have free tickets for pally amorous sex downtown. let's all go together. >> only if you promise to attend

my alley for antifa allies. >> that's a deal, comrad. [applause] >> greg: i have to go to you first, kevin. i have no idea what your politics are. i don't know where you stand. i know that you're a normal person that you can't stand justin trudeau. i honestly -- is this a wise calculation on your part that nobody knows? >> it's very wise. i'll tell you why. why should i piss off half of the people all the time? that's the way i look at it. now, speaking of disney, let me tell you how much i love disney. they own abc. that's where "shark tank" loves. i love everybody. >> greg: there you go. well-played. >> thanks very much. thanks very much. any ceo that gets out there and take on a position, doesn't matter who you are, it's not what you think, it's what your shareholders, employees, consumers, it's what they think.

just ask bud light. how did that work out for them? >> greg: jamie, i didn't write this question. >> okay. >> greg: do your kids enjoy woke disney movies that they see with your ex-wife's new hot boyfriend? >> so mean. >> i don't know. looks like they're having a good time through the window. man, kevin is right. i pissed off half the people in my marriage. i think disney should stay out of politics. this is super -- walt would be turning over in his chest freezer if he saw what was -- did you see -- this alone made me think to myself, i'm not going to disneyland. it's too expensive and i don't want to. you see the one -- another clip where it shows someone -- they said -- this woman said she was putting anywhere she could put in a gay thing or whatever, she would put it in a movie. if i could have two guys kiss. that's not -- you're supposed to

be watching a movie to enjoy it. and i have -- it's little kids. is this the time to indoctrinate? i want to watch a movie with my kids. i don't want to explain -- they're 5 and 6 years old about the birds and the bees and the bees and the bees and the bee saving up to have his stinger removed. [laughter] >> greg: i didn't know where he was going with that, kat but he landed that plane. you know, he makes a good point. they forgot their customers. they created a competing mission statement that was somehow consisting of activists on social media as opposed to the people that go to their movies. >> no, i think he didn't go farther enough. yeah. they should have been more concerned about diversity the whole time. the fact that weren't concerned sooner is why january 6th happened. >> greg: yes. >> disney is responsible --

blood is on your hands. >> greg: yes. >> they're responsible for january 6th. >> greg: they are. >> if the movies were better, people wouldn't have done january 6th. if the amusement park were more affordable, they wouldn't have had to go to the capitol. >> greg: this is some sound logic. >> it makes just as much sense as what he said. >> greg: it's true. it's true. >> why can't kids movies be movies for kids? >> exactly. >> greg: what i said mix as much sense as what he said. which is to say none at all. morgan, you look like a disney princess. >> that's the best compliment ever. >> greg: i did mean it. >> i sang at disney. i grew up near disney and i used to sing there. this is hard for me. >> greg: did you sing in disney? >> i did. >> greg: where? >> epcot and for their christmas whatever -- the candlelight vigil every year. you know, i have a 3-year-old. just like from the perspective of little kids, i can't think --

i was sitting here trying to think of any disney movie or show that she's been in to. she's not in to any of them. i had the disney channel, the little app. she doesn't watch it. she's not into it. first of all, from a business and marketing perspective, they're clearly not reaching their audience. here i am like hello, disney princess as you said. my 3-year-old and none of us are watching disney. it's not even political. they stuff sucks. >> greg: what do you want instead? housewives -- >> i'm a dork. i watch historical dramas. >> greg: if you 3-year-old wants somebody to watch, forensic files. >> she likes the show about the dogs and peppa the pig and stuff like that. >> greg: i'm sure peta won't be happy. up next, a race faker earns scorn doing internet porn.

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>> greg: thank you. [applause] the white lady who faked it gets fired for being naked. the artist formerly known as rachel is back with a new controversy. she got busted for pretending to be black. she runs the spokane chapter of the naacp. she wanted to serve on a local commission and she had to fill out a form like we all do. she checked out african american. haven't we done that? as her race. a quick check of her birth certificate, something our president doesn't have, she's white. both her biological parents are white. >> are you african american? >> i don't understand the question. >> are your parents, are they white? >> greg: she was darkening her skin, working at the spokane chapter of the naacp.

i love their basketball tournament. she was also accused of faking racial harassment against herself. that is technically white on black crime. the ruse unravelled. like jamie's ex-wife, we move on. today rachel goes by nikekki daalo. it's an african name meaning crazy white lady. she's in hot water again. she got fired by by an arizona teaching job. one whistle-blower got vomit in his whistle. i'm assuming a lot of people watching at home don't know what only fans is or how it works. here's a primer. a person takes explicit photos of them zoes and posts them online. other people subscribe to their content a that person makes money. then someone at work who doesn't like you find out and you lose

everything. rachel had her only fans looked to her profile, which says violated their social media and ethics policy. who knows, maybe they're just not in to white chicks. and so there goes another job for rachel and her bizarre career choices. proving that, again, that once you go black, you can never go back. jamie, you actually started an account with only fan because you continue only find one. >> not to correct you, greg, but it was lonely fans. [laughter] [applause] >> greg: well played. >> how uncomfortable was that clip of her? did you see her hair line was like i'm out of here. just trying to escape.

i for research of the show, because you know i like to do my research, i subscribed to her only fans page. i was impressed. i was very impressed. first time i've seen someone do an interracial sex scene by themselves. [laughter] i kid like a sex tape once with my ex-wife. the hardest thing is telling her after. i don't know if you guys have done this, but you feel like you're doing good and when i watched it back, i was like this -- i love the story but they should recast this. >> greg: kat, the real truth is, only fans is where she should be. not in a classroom. she got fired from the wrong job. >> i don't know how it went on for so long. it went on five months without anybody realizing it.

i did go on her page. i didn't subscribe. but like you can see the amazon wish list without actually subscribing of what the person wants. this is what was on her list. this is not a joke. this is on her wish list. a pair of shoes, a tea cup, across body bag, giant $15 soaps that look like cinnamon buns and a book that is called a guide to poisonous house and garden plants. >> greg: she's trying to kill somebody. >> a guide to poisonous house and garden plants is on your wish list? i think she's might be crazy. >> greg: all of those things can be used -- they're like out of a columbo episode. >> leak a tea cup? >> greg: she has tea and puts poison in the guy's tea and if he falls over, he has the soap

that looks like scinnebon to clean it up. morgan -- >> if she changed her race, why couldn't she change her name? i'm obviously not on only fans, but if i did, i would come up with a different name. >> greg: change it again. nobody would go. >> i don't think they went on only fans googling her name. >> greg: she thought that would help. we wouldn't do this story if she changed her name. >> we don't do a story name person on only fans. >> i would do it under a different name. hide it. >> nobody would subscribe. greg, i'm with you. >> greg: yeah. >> now she's out of a job. maybe it doesn't work. >> greg: kevin, as a business

icon, what do you make of only fans? would you encourage people to do it monetizing their sex appeal or will it come back to haunt them? >> i'm going back to getting fired as a teacher. you know how hard it is? it's virtually impossible. they have a union that for decades has protected the crappiest teacher. to get fired, that elevates you to a new status. it's absolutely incredible. how did she do it. >> greg: i don't know. i can't wait till she's on "charge tank." hello, charges. it's my new kit that makes you black. i gave each one of you a sample to try. except for you, damon. >> you have to think about socialing media. it giveth and taketh away.

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ask about the power of 3 with ozempic®. [applause] >> greg: the boss wasn't keen when he flooded the latrine. tonight on pooh detective, a man claims he lost his job because he clogged the office toilet after his interview. he explained in an online post how the position was just about sealed and he just needed to fill out some remaining paperwork. after chugging down some coffee, he used the bathroom, which was gender neutral, by the wayed, and it went from they them to

pew. he said he forgot to flush, a lady went in after him and tried flushing and that's when the toilet clogged and overflowed. then the lady told the boss. the perspective employee left and never heard back again. so the only thing that went down the toilet was his career. look, we've all been there, right? like the time i found out the home depot toilets for display only. so sadly on the list of potential hires, his number 2 prevented him from being number 1. that was the exact same reason i didn't hire dana perino to co host "gutfeld." she packs a lot in that tiny body. morgan, you told me -- >> poop jokes make me laugh. >> greg: you wanted to talk about this story so badly.

>> it's true. >> greg: would you ever fire somebody because they clog add toilet? have you ever clogged a toilet? >> never. i don't go number 2. so -- i'm a lady. >> greg: you're a lady. >> i don't do that. this is why i'm against gender neutral bathrooms. men are disgusting. this is what happens. gender neutral bathroom is some dude forgets to flush the toilet and leaves [bleep] everywhere. >> women are disgusting, too. the women's bathroom is vile. >> it always has a line-up. that's the problem. >> greg: when i use a gender neutral bathroom, i clog with it my tampon. >> there's a solution to this problem. you go to the interview with a toilet plunger. put it on the table and you say look, this is how much i care. that's the answer. >> greg: anybody go to shark tank with a product for the toilet? >> yeah. they never air. we see a lot of them.

>> oh, wow. >> always somebody that has a new idea about number 1 or number 2. we look at it and say yeah, that sucks. >> didn't you guys do squatty potty? >> yes. we also did the lid that lets a cat take a dump in your toilet. >> what? did anybody buy that? >> yes. >> greg: i would buy that and i don't have a cat. >> i suggested if a cat needed a toilet to dump in, and you're listing in a condo. my cat takes a dump all over the condo. why don't you put it out the window? it's so easy. they have nine lives. they'll make it to the bottom. >> greg: exactly. jamie, do you want me to read the question at this point? >> yeah, yeah. >> greg: his job went down the toilet, which we could say about your marriage. >> okay.

so i do feel bad about one thing. i feel bad there was not a plunger in the bathroom. all guys have been there. it's the worst thing when you have to go to the front desk at the hotel. there's one use for a plunger. you know what i mean? you can't be like oh, i need a stand for my wizard's hat. [ laughter and applause ] >> did you hear the good news? he was hired by "the view." they're like he's one of us. welcome aboard. >> but he just didn't flush. that's the problem. he didn't flush. >> yeah. everyone is being way too easy on this guy. >> greg: because you clean bathrooms. >> first of all, who takes a [bleep] during a job interview? this man is -- this man is an animal. he's like they offered me free coffee. i'm like i like everything free.

you know that coffee makes you [bleep] everywhere and you still say yes? and then you forgot to flush? no, no, no. he let someone else try to clean it up and just sat there? i hope you never get any job because you don't belong in polite society. >> i think the woman that finked on him is worse. >> no, i'd tell. >> he was sitting in a puddle of [bleep] spray. that's your best foot forward? what is he going to do if he gets the job? take a dump on the floor? >> remember, whistle-blowers get 20%. [laughter] >> greg: i think that if you're going to clog a toilet, you want it a public toilet, not yours. so you take your kids over to that pool instead of you remember pool. that's what mom used to tell me. all right. up next, what apple doesn't want

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>> a story in five words. >> greg: five words, apple vision, pro sickens people, kat, the 3,500 apple vision pro

headset is giving users headaches, eye strain. burst blood vessels. seems they didn't test it first. >> greg: i don't know. were they playing it for a long time? like maybe they were doing that. >> greg: you're supposed to wear it all the time. >> no, you're not. >> greg: it's got all of your stuff. >> really? >> greg: it's designed to be worn a lot. >> okay. maybe they didn't test it enough. i guess. i feel like they should have known about this but also i feel like -- i don't care. like i feel like if you spent $3,500 on a headset and it hurts your eyes, sorry. you know? get a real problem. my eyes hurt all the time. just from being alive. is. >> greg: from seeing all the pain and suffering in the world. >> yeah. >> greg: seems like this product

is to prevent young men from losing their virginity. >> let me explain why this horrible problem happens and will continue to happen. 30% of the population when they perceive latency, a delay of reality versus what you see in the headset, your brain goes what? i have never seen this before. what am i dealing with? reality is there. a millisecond later, i get something else. i don't know what to do. i'll give you a headache. 30% can't handle this stuff. until the internet is a lot faster, this ant going to work for a lot of people. >> greg: interesting. it's so funny that they didn't know that this could cause like people to get sick and vomit. >> throw up. it brutal. >> 30% of the population, you think they would notice that in testing. >> apparently not. i don't know how many guys wore this for six to eight hours. ever that used it tells me it's amazing.

you can do a meeting. people are sitting -- maybe we have the goggles on now. >> greg: we might.we don't know. >> anybody getting sick? that's the question. the idea is you can sit in a room like this and you're there and the perception is perfect. it's amazing unless you throw up in them. >> greg: morgan, would you wear one to match your dress? >> yeah. as long as it matched. i would try it out. i think what is going on here is that somebody spent $3,500 on this and they went home and their spouse freaked out and they had to return it. oh, i'm having health issues. their spouse is like why are you paying $3,500 for this? that's what i'd say to my house. >> greg: jamie, like your comedy act, this is making people sick. i wrote that one. >> that's a good one. after my comedy shows, no matter how many are there, i apologize to everybody. i was one of the first people to get one of these apple vision

pros. i was one of the early testers. they came out with a thing last week that said you will not ever be able to use pornography on these things. so my question is, would anyone like to buy my apple vision pro headset? [laughter] >> greg: yeah. >> that's why i bought it. i know you're saying guys won't lose their virginity, but you can lose it in the world, the fake world. >> greg: that is true. thanks for spelling that out. sick man. all right. don't go away. we'll be right back. now offers a lifetime guarantee when you file your taxes? i'm here with tax expert diana to tell us more. turbotax guarantees your tax return for its full lifetime of 7 years. does that apply to all turbotax personal tax products and services? yes, whether you're doing your taxes yourself, or having one of our experts do them for you,

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can't afford your medication? astrazeneca may be able to help. ask your doctor about breztri. >> greg: we're out of time thanks to kevin leary morgan ortagus, jaily lissow kat timpf, fox news at my with dreamy trace gallagher is next. >> i love you america. >> trace: good evening it's 11:00 on the east coas