>> what time are you getting home tonight? i really have to clear this place out before you get back. >> shame on you, sweet potato and if the guys are really over, tell them to take the stairs. last time i came home, a guy climbed out my bedroom window, had to put a claim on my homeowners insurance. if you do my wife, get out in one piece. thanks for watching, set your dvr to 10:00 p.m. eastern every saturday here on fox news. don't forget to follow us on social media. for more of me, and coming to a city near you. everybody calm down to her, tickets on sale at fox across america.com. good night from new york city, i am jimmy failla, see you next saturday. you can be a republican, a democrat, all we ask is that you don't be -- ♪ ]

♪ ♪ >> greg: all right! how are you doing? happy valentine's day, it wouldn't. you know, before we get to the monologue, we actually intercepted some celebrity valentine's day cards and we thought we would share them with you. first up, dear valentine, if you really love me, you would buy one of my awful books. love, reinicke mood -- brian kilmeade. happy valentines to the best brother ever, love you hon omar. >> oh, my gosh. >> greg: happy valentine's day, i would kiss you if my face could move. love nancy pelosi. happy valentine, joe. but i'm not your sister. love joe biden. and happy valentine [indistin

[indistinct]. love joe biden. all right, thank you. courtesy last. i feel like i'm at a golf match. so on this valentine's day, i'm afraid i have to break some bad news about our president. america, he is just not that into you. because as joe continues to neglect this relationship that we are seeing the results of this terrible presidency, unchecked illegal immigration, crime running rampant, inflation of the hook. the chances of world war iii are growing faster than a stain on joe's pants. and yet the news coming from our government is a kaleidoscope of catastrophes which biden and the media are still trying to frame as progress. for the past week, we have been led to believe it is biden's age that is the issue. but is it really? there are plenty of old dudes doing fine all over like steve doocy. [laughter] and peter doocy.

[laughter] so it is not just joe's age that is the root of the country's problems, it is neglect of our basic systems. let's take the border. everyone else does. on tuesday, the house voted to impeach a harder mayorkas over his handling of the migrant crisis. but that is more overdue than that book i stole from the library. it is for height, people. it is the first time they have impeach the cabinet secretary since 1876. that was back when joe was in diapers. or rather back when he started wearing diapers. of course, joe criticized the vote, saying history will not look kindly on house republicans for their waiting act of unconstitutional o partisanship. he said that after having a long conversation with ruth bader ginsburg. she is that just so you know. the democrat-controlled senate will likely dismiss the charges but the issue is not going away

and neither are 10 million illegal immigrants. especially since joe biden's job growth numbers are likely built on illegals. according to the center for immigration studies, all employment growth has gone to immigrants who -- compared to 2019. and -- in other words, maybe they are taking our jobs. no chalk, here is the latest problem for "fox & friends." [laughter] they have more tattoos than ainsley. and wait until you hear stories like this one out of boston where virtuous souls are taken the migrants into their own homes and turning them into slave labor. wonder woman took in a haitian and posted it is like having a personal chef. i hope that does not give any ideas to america's cotton industry. [audience reacts] a little cotton joke. yeah, migrants, they are the pets that walk themselves.

maybe she is onto something. maybe i can have my personal masseuse. when i had before has just left. fort lee i'm ruled out as a suspect in the disappearing. it is like we are with on and we asked our assistant how the plastic -- madonna and we asked our assistant with the plastic surgery looks. if the cause is uncontrolled immigration, here is the effects. denver is paying for the migrants including its police and health departments. 911 now requires reservations. newark city potentially will cancel the next four police academy classes and i love those movies. new york state is expended twice as much on services for each mike woodson on homeless vets. chicago homeless shelters are so overbroad migrants have been sleeping in police stations, city buses, and airport terminals at o'hare. they live there with no i.d. or

betting. but make sure you don't have a . in calley, newsom extended government run healthcare to all illegals while legal californians faced growing waits for medical services as the state projects a $68 billion deficit. if that sentence were anymore backwards, it would read "hot is greg." i don't like you people. and how have many of these illegals been repaying us? they have attacked cops in times square which is yet another job americans already do. they shot at tourists and cops write outside this very studio as we were leaving. thank god my assistant shielded me from the bullets. ♪ ♪ >> kat: no! >> greg: that is when the job

review. now they went shoplifting chains necking and organized crime gangs. writing mopeds. literally dragging women through the streets. and it was a stolen moped which means there's now one virgin who can't get to the library. they started human trafficking rings that brand women behind their ears. as trump once said, they are not setting their best. it was -- he was right because that includes a major venezuelan prison gang. president magneuris emptied out his presence and send his bad guys here and he is not taking them back. it seems like a solvable problem. one put them in sacks marked foreign aid and send them to ukraine? the new york times recently ran a-piece trying to highlight how republicans are the problem. right. so illegal immigration is good but it is still the fourth of april -- fault of evil

republicans. they are the same people who told us there was no border problem just months ago. i wonder what changed. an election is coming up and joe looks like [bleep]. also we have learned once again that the whole is always greater than the sum of its parts. for example, a pair of glasses in -- and hair extensions on their own would have no value. but put it together and you could make a career. [laughter] but also an unfettered migrant crisis plus rising crime plus a depletion of resources equals america at its breaking point. even a drunk woman could do the math. [applause] wake up, people. let's welcome tonight's guess, i bet he is glad he is he is not the governor. former congressman lee zeldin! we told her to keep all her answers to under an hour. host of the fox true crime

podcaster emily compagno. he picked up his valentine from high school today. comedian jim florentine. and for valentine's day, she got an ankle bracelet. from the police. best-selling author and fox news contributor kat timpf. lee, the defense is so pathetic of mayo, is that they say, a poor job performance is not a criteria for impeachment. so they are even saying he sucks. but you still can't impeach him. how did he get so far and why do they not care? >> lee: i think for the biden administration, for the democrats, americas is doing his job. it was with the director of the white house that they got rid of title xlii without a replacement. that they got rid of that remain in mexico policy and the stopped instruction of the border wall

and started taking the border patrol agents. they ended up rubbing up catch and release. the rest of us who have a problem with the millions of people coming into th the county during the biden administration were saying that this is unconstitutional that you are not following the laws. and the rules and the constitution. you are not protecting the people but getting back to a question, i think that mayorkas by design and the biden administration's mind, he is doing his job. >> greg: and i guess if that is counting for the job numbers, that is a win-win for them. i just came up with that. >> lee: looking for the votes? >> greg: yeah. emily cook the dams are calling this impeachment political. isn't that interesting? when is it not political? they impeached trump twice for political reasons. >> emily: and the irony is this actually is a tool that congress can use upon realizing or determining that someone has abdicated their duty and so for

the president to call it political, the whole point is the two is baked into the fabric of our country. the whole point is the checks and balance against someone who has totally utterly failed at their job. but keep in mind this is the same person that called the her report a smear hack, a political smear job. so obviously this guy has a problem with the truth. cannot focus for a moment on what you said in the intro about california because it -- >> greg: no. >> emily: please? >> greg: okay. >> emily: just a quick second because i'm deathly afraid of the inevitable gavin newsom machine that is going to replace the crypt keeper and i want us to understand what that looks like. california is facing a $68 billion deficit. their largest expenditure is health and human services. that is almost a billion dollars under that, what you think falls under that? that medicare and all of the doors what they are now extending to illegal immigrants. and you contest that only three -- only 15% of california can't

afford homes. 3 million californians cannot afford the internet. and yet we have someone at the helm there who tells us it is about care, not cash and it is about amplifying and lifting up black and brown people who are the ones being totally pushed out of that medicare system in the state of california. the backwards existence of the state and it being deteriorated into the toxic successful that it is is because of him. so we all have to watch out. >> greg: i like it when you do this because you get to see your triceps. [laughter] very good -- you have been doing dips? should i move on? alright. all right. >> emily: yeah. >> greg: jim, some say you are a very giving person. would you be willing to take migrants into your house, your spacious house? >> jim: no. i don't even like if i have people over for dinner and they stay for dessert too long.

>> greg: it is true. it is awkward to have strangers in your house and they can't speak english. >> jim: i had a superpower -- super bowl party and people would not release. and those were the kids. this is my home. but what they were saying about california, if you are a california resident, it is probably easier if you sneak into mexico, change your name and come back over as an illegal immigrant. you will get a better job and you get free healthcare. >> greg: that is true. if you have an expensive surgery, you can't go, no, if you want to change your gender. you can just go into the border, come out and then you can get it for free. have you thought about that? >> jim: i have, but i'm only going to do it once. i'm trying to get a comedy specials on netflix. as a white male the only chance i got it is if i change my gender. >> greg: i was going to say if you ever get arrested and you

know you're going to jail, then changed their gender. >> jim: then i can have some fun in jail. i don't have to fend off a bunch of guys. >> greg: yes, exactly. right, kat, oh. [laughter] i don't have a question for you. >> kat: that is what you are going with? >> greg: i guess my question is, they have been -- the dems have been doing it and maybe it is time to bring a gun to a gunfight, you know. >> kat: i could not agree more with the political thing. it is politics, right? for example, biden was also saying the bill. they do not pass this bill. this was really that big of an issue, they would not have shoved all this other stuff like ukraine funding. that was a political move. and to me, it is always a good thing when they don't just like put a build through that no one has come a chance to read or consider yeah. i think that is always a good thing to accuse other people of plaintiff politics when you're playing politics, everybody knows it, too. nobody is like, in what?

there deborah -- they are playing politics. everybody, we all know that this is what is going on. in what is by it at the whole history will gloss -- i think history is going to gloss over this, okay? there's a lot of other [bleep] going on right now. maybe like an extra credit question. but nobody says, okay, now what? everybody likes to say the time to say, they did this, they did this. if you have not noticed, there's a bit of a situation going on. >> greg: did you know that you made me think that i should be reading history books that are out to talk about the 2000s because i have not and that is the stuff i would remember. i wonder what they do cover it, you know? what did did kids learn about the iraq war. like, that could be things that we think are extremely important that are completely glossed over. right? >> kat: i think so, yes. >> jim: he is not going to get convicted. there will be talking about have really times they a show taylor swift during the super bowl in

10 years. it was 58 times. >> greg: yes, exactly, and i love her little friend, little orphan annie. >> lee: that ukraine bill had more money for ukraine's border than does an one thing for this entire biden administration, he showed that he had the power to open the border. so this whole thing that congress needs to give him a power in order to close it is [bleep]. we know that you have the power right now. you proved it by using those powers to open it and it the first place. >> greg: you are assuming he still knows he is president. all right, u to advance the future of golf, pga of america chose t-mobile for business. with a 5g powered innovation hub to analyze player performance and expand coaching tools. take your business further with america's largest 5g network. ♪3, 4♪ ♪ ♪hey♪ ♪ ♪are you ready for me♪ ♪are you ready♪ ♪are you ready♪

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♪ ♪ >> greg: thank you. all right. will need to pay their fair share? if the next press has orange hair? nato announced its european

members will hit the agreed-upon spending target? they are agreeing to pay what they owe us. but i guess we should be grateful. is like the illegals keeping my basement finally acknowledging the free rule art provide. he comes after trump come in suggesting that he was might not offend nato allies against russia if they fail to contribute t to those 2% of ther gdp to nato defense. >> they said, if we don't pay, are you still going to protect us? i said, absolutely not. if we don't pay than space and we are attacked by russia, will you protect us? i would not protect you. in cac that -- in fact, i would encourage them to do whatever the hell they want. >> greg: i said the same thing to security when taylor swift refused to leave my hotel room. one of trump's former national security advisers revealed plans for a tiered system for nato membership.

it is kind of like how spirit airlines operates. if trump wins reelection, countries that don't pay up, and have their article five protections removed. at a local of nato members meaning an attack on one is an attack on all. it is the same way warthogs feel when you attack randi weingarten. [laughter] warthogs. this is something germany is all too familiar with which is why their chancellor pledged his country's commitment to 2% target picture, nato has been happy to let america. of the tap at every turn. they are like jesse watters except when they kill a hooker, they have diplomatic immunity. [audience reacts] but now that a second truck term is a real possibility, they certainly start reaching for their wallets. but it makes sense. humans are driven by incentives. if someone says pay me back whenever, whenever always means

never. when attached to a consequence, you almost always get results. that is why i fired that pool boy. he would have learned his lesson he had not already drowned. [laughter] i was not -- that was not my fault either, emily. trump is not even in office and he is influence -- influencing nato. >> kat: his word carries more weight than biden's ever has or ever will. i want to focus for a second on biden's comments about this. he had the nerve to stand up and say or repeat from the pocket with someone else wrote which is this is shameful. this is dumb, he said. this is un-american. he said when we make commitments, americans, we stand by those commitments and nato, he says, is a sacred commitment. and i have to point out how hollow that rings, how tragic that sounds coming from this person's mouth.

after we abandoned afghanistan, we abandoned americans in afghanistan. we pulled out our military before every american was evacuated. we abandoned afghan girls. we appended military equipment so essentially surrendering to china. we had conditions placed on everything we have given to israel and told them to tone down their response to hamas and islamic jihad? the nerve of this individual that occupies the oval office to come out and say that our commitments are sacred to me is a laughable and it is only eclipsed by the disgust i have for him. happy valentine's day! [cheers and applause] >> greg: that is quite a -- good for you. so jim, it is like i feel like trump's superpower is that he makes you think twice. like you can't just assume anything. the go, maybe he won't pull funding but he might. will he? will he not support us?

so he gets the act because he is unpredictable. >> jim: it is amazing all of a sudden they are paying up because he said that. that is almost like a boss at the company saying we got layoffs and all of a sudden people start working. look, the united states, we are like the sugar daddy. we will pay all the bills. you just pay your phone bill and all of a sudden you don't pay the phone bill. trump is like, what are we doing? now i got to pay your phone bill, too? i get that he is doing that. >> greg: is in it want to see? even nato thinks he is going to be president. >> jim: i love it, and all of a sudden germany is going to pay to present. i'm not a history buff, but germany paying more for were never really works out for them. >> greg: that is true. kat, trump called their bluff. >> kat: you know what i have not understood about the whole new cycle surrounding this comment is if you want to say that the way trump made his point was

maybe an offensive or disgusting way to make the point. i get that. but you can't say there was now point there. nobody takes eight a step further, okay, what do you think about the current situation with nato? what do you think about the fact that europeans, they laugh at us and they make fun of us about how little time to get off and you know, we have free health care. we have months and months and we are on a boat smoking cigarettes or whatever they do over there. and we are paying for all of their wars. so i think that, okay, so what is your solution? we can't bend over by all of them and something should change here. they should pay. it is a joke. >> greg: it is a joke, lee, what say you? >> lee: the nato alliance requires shared sacrifice. the united states is as far away from the threats across the atlantic as any one part of nato. yet these foreign countries. >> us to pay the most. and the reality is that we --

when we are getting others to step up, it is not making nato weaker. it is making it stronger. demanding that these other countries pay their fair share is not an existential extract -- threat to nato. that is an individual's right to nato. and one of the things, these foreign countries, when these foreign leaders are talking about u.s. funding, i would like them to be thanking the u.s. taxpayer more than they do. because when it comes to u.s. foreign aid, it is valentine's day and christmas. everyone else's birthday all rolled in one every day. i would like the u.s. taxpayer to be able to hear and feel some gratitude and appreciation for this country. >> greg: we should be able -- you just gave me an idea. we should have a special dispensation when we. >> europe like we get free discounts on stuff because we pay for their military. wouldn't that be great? >> kat: what you like a cigarette? >> greg: eas, exactly.

exactly. some cigarette and some chocolate and pantyhose. [laughter] >> greg: all right, up next, the lawsuit claims it was shady to out a man's mystery lady. i love this topic. >> announcer: if you'll be in the new york area and would like tickets to see "gutfeld!," go to foxnews.com/gutfeld, and click on the link to join our studio audience.

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but the homeowner says the guy broke some house rules and invited extra guests over. imagine being punished for having too many friends. never happens to me says one guy. [laughter] so the homeowner tried to charge the guy an extra 950 bucks but the guy refused to pay and left a bad review on the airbnb site. and he says that is when she retaliated by e-mailing is why a security camera photo of him and another woman. which is bs. call me old-fashioned but security footage is only men for masturbating. ask any security guard. they will tell you. and the worst part is is it ended on september 11th so there is no way his wife will forget it. ha ha ha ha ha. my birthday is september 12.

i can make that joke. i think. so he later sued the homeowner saying his marriage suffered as a result, adding that the situation caused an extreme emotional distress, public humiliation, and mental anguish, which raises the question, how is that different in marriage? [laughter] jim, a guy never would have done this. even if the guy was pissed off, he never would have sent a photo of that to his wife. >> jim: he would not have written a guy does the guy code. in this woman's rules and house, you are not allowed to pee in the pool. i do -- did not know that was a requirement. pee in the pool and if you want to take a dump, go in -- because

he is messing with the woman's business. you get people with these reviews, they have been to a business 100 times and 101 time they did not have a good time so they write a bad review about that. >> greg: it is like giving people power, don't experience power and other avenues so they do it in the reviews and pee all over people. >> jim: and it can be the mood they were in. get out of here. you are not getting cd. go home and get uber eats. i have had enough of you. raven kat, whose side are you on? did he deserve it? >> kat: the only reason he would deserve it is because he stayed at an airbnb. it is a horrible. all the rules, a look at all the rules. there's no vaping on the property, pee, why?

i can't vaping in your backyard? and you have to stripped the bed. now i'm doing your chores for you. whatever happened to have so much power over you. and you leave the made extra money. but it got personal. it is so strange. it was like all the stuff, you did not register all the houseguests and this woman clearly she likes being an airbnb host and she watches them on her security camera? i think it is creepy. i think it is weird. >> greg: you know what it is, lee? the problem with airbnb is it is still at somebody's house. they want to make sure there was like no sign or sent that you were ever there yet they want your money. >> lee: they will fine you $300. they charge $300 for migration of your review. what the [bleep] does that even

mean? okay? when you connect person, karma is a bitch with person karma is a bitch b it is inevitable that these are going to go wrong. things went sideways here. another complaint about the homeowner, the homeowner in advertising the property said forget your worries. so the guy reads it. he goes there. he gets screwed. and then he ended up getting screwed. >> greg: yeah. >> lee: that is not fair. [applause] >> greg: she kept saying, i hope you have a wonderful stay. have a great day and it is horrible. emily, who should his wife be mad at most? >> kat: her, here is why. i feel like we are totally the jury. know that airbnb has referred them to arbitration. when you dig into it further, the homeowner was probably the most neurotic like, overlord --

she is probably going to sue me. the -- what is the word that means totally -- the fantastical things that she expected of people who are in her house for a night or whatever were off the charts. here is the best part. she claims that he came over with more than six people and they were loudly cussing in the driveway having a party and that the neighbors complained and called over. he says i only had one just. that lady. so all we have to do is pull the neighbors and look at the call records and see who is in the right and sickly, or alaska see those she e-mailed his wife with -- via a fake e-mail account with his name in it and said, i love -- i left your back in the subject line. so this lady is so crazy, there needs to be a separate criminal charge for insanity. >> and you are a lawyer. so i will take your word for it,

lawyer lady. i love how you cannot think of a word and it turned out to be fantastical. >> kat: i like that. >> greg: oh, is caught fantastico. [laughter] coming up, if you have chronic kidney disease you can reduce the risk of kidney failure with farxiga. because there are places you'd rather be. farxiga can cause serious side effects, including ketoacidosis that may be fatal, dehydration, urinary tract, or genital yeast infections, and low blood sugar. a rare, life-threatening bacterial infection in the skin of the perineum could occur. stop taking farxiga and call your doctor right away if you have symptoms of this infection, an allergic reaction, or ketoacidosis. ♪ far-xi-ga ♪ ava: i was just feeling sick. and it was the worst day. mom was crying. i was sad. colton: i was diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma. brett: once we got the first initial hit,

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[applause] >> greg: yes. temporary fasting creating a piece that is lasting. post hamosh douchbags, their hunger at bay. they went on a pro-palestine hunger strike for 12 hours. 12 hours. to push the school to divest from companies with connections with israel. to. nobody likes to say that the country of mexico. that is right. 12 whole hours. emily has had longer answers than that. [laughter]

>> emily: oh. >> greg: hack haha ha! and they are going to reconsider everything. one dope who did the hunger strikes at into our university's diverse, complicit and we are complicit because we paid for the general side -- genocide in gaza. chances are we will end up doing that for you, you deadbeats. the hunger strike was in solitary with 17 brown university students who went on a day hunger strike for the same reason. not eating for a whole days is a pretty big deal. maybe not for everyone. [laughter] to definitely for most people. i'm not sure it is fair to say 12 hours even count as solidarity with anyone. it is saying like you are playing "call of duty" in solidarity with the troops. that is a case, i should have

gotten a nobel peace prize for my colonoscopy. oh, the night before, date you drink that weird stuff, cathy. hey -- 12 hours without food count as a hunger strike to kat? >> kat: no, i think that is normal. if you are asleep for a lot of that basically you wake up and you don't eat for a couple of hours. the everybody else just roll into an omelette and eat? i would be -- you are slightly delayed breakfast. a slightly delayed practice. >> greg: they were just lying on a couch. they do what everybody else does and they call themselves heroes. >> kat: i had no idea. >> greg: exactly. you are the real hero. thank you for your service. lee, i think they are doing this, they are obviously anti-semitic. basically appropriating what

jews do regularly called shabbat. >> lee: that is something that we observe shabbat and we -- >> greg: are you jewish? >> lee: i am. >> greg: i did not know that. >> lee: i can stay, right? >> greg: yes, you can stay. >> lee: other networks kick me off. i appreciate it. the hunger strike does not count and it kind of feels like kristi lizzo and brian stelter hooked up what a hunger strike could look like and -- but we talked about hamas sympathizers. i felt like maybe i should offer some friendly advice and to really get our attention you should probably go without food for at least a month. >> greg: all right. >> lee: go without water for at least 10 or 14 days and then i will be impressed. >> greg: that is not healthy advice, lee. so, emily correll of the fact that they publicized it. he thought that this fact was

virtue signaling would help their cause but it always hurts. >> emily: i was thinking that these dumbasses probably read it as "brown students" instead of brown university students. they are such idiots and you are 12 hours without food. it is like a flight that gets delayed. i used to be an nfl cheerleader. i drank liquid for 17 days. hold my beer you harvard dip league. >> greg: you had to starve yourself? >> emily: no, i did not collectively. [laughter] -- elective lee. [laughter] >> greg: do you love these people? are they the best? >> jim: they really could have made a difference. it is too bad the israeli government did not hear about it. if they heard that 30 people in

america spent 12 hours without eating, they would have pulled out of the gaza strip. >> greg: definitely. >> jim: no question. that is all they needed. but it is good to know that if i skip breakfast one day and don't have enough time i just tell people i'm on a hunger strike. >> greg: exactly. >> jim: 12 hours. that is great. that is how that americans are. if you go 12 hours without eating, that is called a protest. [laughter] >> greg: all right. up next, climate not suppose giving her a rose. [applause] >> announcer: if you'll be in the new york area and would like tickets to see "gutfeld!," go to foxnews.com/gutfeld, and click on the link to join our studio audience.

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>> announcer: a story in five words. ♪ ♪ >> greg: five words, roses bad for environment. emily, the washington post communist says the carbon footprint it takes to deliver roses around the world is a very, very high and we should consider alternatives. how do you feel about that? you are like process. >> emily: yes, and my middle name is rose so yes, 100,000 times present to roses and if

there issue is that the rose industry is primarily international and it is the flights to get, then just buy roses from american forests. >> greg: yes. keep it in america. [applause] >> solved. take your roses. >> greg: get those jobs back to america. all right. you are a chick. did you get any valentine's is today? >> kat: no. >> greg: nothing at all? you did not see what i left on your desk? >> kat: i guess i will have to check. >> greg: i forgot to poke holes in the box so it might not be reading. >> kat: roses are fine. it is like, wet wells do you got? if you are not totally obsessed and i'm not interested. you have to do better than that. but i mean, it is mostly just broke up. with the whole thing about roses. nobody is going to stop doing it. i mean, the bachelor, that is a

whole franchise built upon this. >> greg: yes, exactly. >> kat: somebody told them to do it and they are like, okay, whatever. >> greg: you know what is funny? "the washington post" is always a buzz kill. today, i got an e-mail from "the washington post" for their valentine's day special. they do a column league on valentine's day and then they try to get you to buy something for valentine's day and they have -- so jim, usually for valentine's day you give women herpes. >> jim: i can only give it to her once. i'm with her for two years you've already got it last year. i wish i could give it to you again but i can't. [audience reacts] sorry. i'm so sorry. why are you sorry if it is true? [laughter] >> greg: i just assumed. but anyway, what do you make of this carbon footprint?

it is a good environmental angle. you could tell your wife or girlfriend, i'm going -- i'm only going to give you a three-dollar card for your valentine's day. >> greg: and it is made out of paper which comes from a 20. >> jim: i don't even if my girlfriend a car for valentine's day. >> greg: because she cannot read it yet. [laughter] >> jim: that was a good one. [laughter] it was a good one because you are right. [laughter] i usually will go to the store and i will pick out a nice car. i will read this and she reads it and i put it back on the shelf. i save myself from those because they are not my words anyway. >> greg: why do we do this, lee? do you actually write a little poem for your wife? >> lee: absolutely, from the heart. and i don't just get the first card. i look at every single car. it takes me hours.

i usually have to go to four or five or six different card stores before i finally perfect one. have you gotten a valentine's day gift yet? >> greg: not yet. >> jim: your biggest fan wanted something for you. and it is autographed as well. greg, you are the funniest, handsomest, and absolute best. your valentine, greg. [applause] happy valentine's day. >> kat: oh! >> greg: nice surface. i know what ♪everything i do that's for my health is an accomplishment.♪ ♪concerns of getting screened faded away♪ ♪to my astonishment.♪ ♪my doc gave me a script i got it done without a delay.♪ ♪i screened with cologuard and did it my way.♪ cologuard is a one-of-a-kind way to screen for colon cancer that's effective and non-invasive. it's for people 45 plus at average risk, not high risk.

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