♪ ♪ >> big programming announcement. this thursday we will head to eagle pass, shelby park, texas, and we will be with former president donald trump at the border, and it's happening this thursday night, 9:00 p.m. eastern. joe is going to be down there for kind of the first time. maybe he'd like to join us. that would be awesome. joe, you are welcome. we'd love to have you, if you can function for long enough. that's all the time we have left this evening. thank you for being with us. thank you for making this show possible. please set your dvr so you never, ever, ever miss an episode of "hannity." in the meantime, let not your heart be troubled. why cannot greg gutfeld standing by to put a smile on your face. have a great night. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> greg: all right! thank you. thank you, thank you. >> greg! >> greg: thank you. happy monday, everybody. over the years, politicians have given us a number of policy wars. we fed the war on poverty, the war on drugs, the war on terror. none worked, but at least kat is not allowed to fly. but today the biden administration is giving us a new war. call it the war on observable facts, or w.o.o.f. thank you. here are the results, we have a border that works less than kilmeade's breath mints. inflation more stubborn then a mule trying to learn break dancing, and a crime wave that makes the pervs look like

bible study with shannon bream. by what metric does team biden think all of this is working? with the white house called their major policy initiatives, the rest of us call ideas going over like a full diaper on a packed flight. they are peeing on your foot and telling you it's raining, which is why i stopped showering with kudlow. [laughter] does anyone see evidence of a course correction? a willingness to maybe switch it up a bit? nope. maybe they hope we've all been so distracted that we won't even notice. but we are at a point that we have to ask ourselves, are all these outcomes by design? now, i'm no conspiracy theorist, although i'm this close to proving big foot was on epstein's island. but clearly, when something isn't working, and a group of theoretically intelligent people happily doubled down on it, there must be an explanation, and we have a few. one is the idea of factual wrongness, the idea that your worldview is so wrong that you will be around 100% of the time.

this helps explain how people think letting murderers out of jail will somehow make it safer. the other is that there is a net benefit to them in destroying this country. on the border we have had millions of illegals walking into the country, where they are guaranteed pretty much everything but a nob job from sofia vergara. it is now becoming clear that many of them are criminals, organized shoplifting and rubbery crews operating in our major cities. if they pulled that in venezuela, they'd be put in jail, then sent back to america. prisoners will assault our cops and shoot at them. which brings us to laken riley. maybe her murder will finally force the question, why does this keep happening? according to the ap, it's about the dangers of running alone. seriously. here's their headline. "the killing of a nursing student out for a run highlights

the fears of solo female athletes." it is as though she died from a shin splints. in that piece they called the suspect "an athens resident," not an illegal immigrant who had been arrested multiple times. that's like calling hitler a vegetari for austria. only when someone escalates to murder do they finally get held and risk deportation? do you think that would be the story? it should be the story that sings administration. when biden refuses to take simple steps to secure the border, for instance, reinstituting remain in mexico, you have to ask what i call the nlq, the next logical question. is this what they want to? is the policy actually designed for open and unchecked borders? is it so we finally get soccer players and win the world cup? the same goes for the disorder in our cities. he introduces major anti-crime

initiative, the safer american plan, s.a.p. for short. it might have well been called "stabbed and pummeled." the initiative actually made us less safe. what's next, citing chlamydia by having sex with a stripper cannot trust me, it doesn't work. [laughter] so our cities remain on police dystopias. if they do nothing to stop it, again you've got to ask why. if homelessness keeps growing dramatically and you do nothing to stop it, why? if human trafficking is an observable outcome from a to illegal immigration, yet illegal immigration continues unabated, why? if inflation is high but you keep imposing expensive legislation and forgiving student debt, why? if the president's brain waves are flatter than "the view's" seat cushions but we continued to pretend otherwise, why? you see what i mean. our nation's precious talking head left to repeat the same cliche, do the same thing over

and over again and expect a different result, the definition of insanity. no, it's not. during the same thing over and over again and denying the outcome is intentionality, not insanity. i could posit theories that deep down they want to destroy our major traditions and institutions, like lunatic drill sergeants, they want to break us all down so they can rebuild us in their image. but that is like putting megan fox under the knife so she will end up looking like mad madonna. [laughter] it is an image that will most certainly be a lot more subservient and dependent, an image where they all look to the government for their wants and needs. a government controlled by the democrats forever. so it's time to change the argument. it can't be about policy result anymore. the dems lost that on day one when joe eliminated all trump's porta policies. how'd that work out for you? feel free to answer in spanish. so dems proved to all of us that all of this is not unintentional.

why would an entire political party design a system so awful? you see, our job is not to answer that. it is the dems. they are the architects. all i've done is change the argument. it is no longer, "you don't want a real border!" "oh, yes, we do!" that ship has sailed and sunk. [applause] let's welcome tonight's guests! he has a lucrative side hustle as a paperboy. host of ""the guy benson show,"" guy benson! [cheers and applause] as a triathlete, she reeks of gatorade. host of "kennedy saves the world" podcast, kennedy! [cheers and applause] he makes it his mission to put libs into mission. actor and stand-up comedian, tyler fischer! [cheers and applause] and her mouth accounts for 70% of her body weight. "new york times" best-selling author and fox news contributor, kat timpf! [cheers and applause]

guy, always a pleasure to see you. >> guy: great pleasure, greg. >> greg: i don't believe you come of it anyway. maybe the ap was telling the truth. it is no longer safe for women to run alone in america. they just don't want to say why. some maybe, in an unintentional way, they told us the reality. what say you, young man? >> guy: i said it's a pleasure to be here because it's in the prompter. [laughter] that's all i'm going to say. look, that ap story is disgraceful. the framing of it is disgusting. here is a salient fact about the immigration status of the alleged killer. they give another example out of iowa, molly tibbetts was murdered while out for a run. they also excluded the fact that her murder was an illegal immigrant. that is intentional. i think the reason is -- not to be too cynical about it, but i think a lot of people who are journalists you themselves as our societal betters, and if

they include inconvenient or troublesome facts, then the bad united people of america might treat certain bad conclusions. it is too dangerous to report the truth on these things, so they don't. they are ideologues. i think that the explanation. >> greg: it's almost like when they take your dog away and tell that it's going upstate to a nice farm. that's how they look at us, like children, or like you. very useful, you know. kennedy, you are a runner, you are also a swimmer and a cyclist. >> kennedy: that is correct, greg. thank you very much. >> greg: you're quite welcome. thank you for your service. >> kennedy: very brave. >> greg: what is your take on the media portrayal of this? it is what guy says, a protection of a narrative while hiding in other truth. >> kennedy: i think this reporter should actually have to move to venezuela for a year and report honestly about what's going on down there and the climate and the conditions that has produced people like this who want to escape a socialist

communist hellhole and come somewhere better. but they have unlearned manners, some people, from that country in particular. we saw that in times square. when you have a 15-year-old with a gun firing off pot shots our breezeway, when your show was recording. >> greg: "breezeway" is not a body part, although it sounds like it. i have a pain in my breezeway! >> kennedy: that was my nickname in high school. >> greg: it was right out in front of our show, a woman got shot. >> kennedy: but rational people have to know -- i'm one of those people, i think by and large the majority people who want to come here and work should be allowed to do that. but the people who come here and commit crimes would not be able to do that in any other country in the world, so we should not allow that. that should not be part of our system, especially when they are targeting and killing young women and cops. i think at some point you have

to go, maybe we have to put a different list of criteria together to allow people not only to come here -- because we trust them -- but allow them to say the next day. >> greg: as trump said, they are not sending their best or they are bad hombres, you are xenophobic. we just don't like criminals no matter where they're from. even criminals don't like criminals. tyler? >> tyler: yeah, now you turn to me. >> greg: is your truck parked outside? >> tyler: this is by design, actually. kind of like with the local left, i used to be woke, and the wall is light, the wall, it is so scary! you have to soften it. that's why i look like a hipster and a trucker. it looks like i stormed the capitol in a tesla. but i think we have to soften the wall concept for the woke people and actually make it soft. i just saw a mike lindell commercial. he should design the wall. "i'm mike lindell, you know me

from my pillow. here comes my wall! it is wrapped in 100% giza cotton." [laughter] "so when the migrants get there and realize they can't get in, they can take a nap on my pillow, put on my slippers, and walk the hell back to their own country." [laughter and applause] "use promo code "no amigo." >> greg: that's a great idea. anything will do. i'll take anything at this point, kat. i don't want to swear here, that i feel like our media is [bl [bleep]. >> kennedy: wow. >> greg: i'm sorry. when you see a headline like that, what else can you explain? how can you explain it? >> kat: at this point -- also, did they think they wouldn't be called on? because people do have -- people are going to find out another

way, right? >> greg: exactly. >> kat: i think a lot of what you're talking about has to do -- i don't know people in politics -- i'm not talking about citizens, i'm talking more about people in the media, about politicians. they are more focused on scoring these political points and keeping the other side from scoring political points than they are these actual kinds of solutions. so i think we see that -- you mentioned inflation, or if you talk about the college issue, for example. it is just a fact that the more government has gotten involved in college education, the more expensive it's gotten. so then the government gets out there and says it is too damn extent if you go to college and we are going to do something about it! because they become the side that cares about that. and people are like -- i think people are more wrapped up in that than they are actually finding solutions, at the expense of all of the rest of us, unfortunately. >> guy: into your main point, going to hell and a handbasket

and telling us things should be better, we should be grateful and not notice the bad things. real life movie villain gavin newsom just said this week that this is a master class being put on by president biden. like, we know that's not true. his approval rating is in the mid-30s. people don't believe that. but it is literally the party line. a master class. >> greg: i'm glad you brought that up, because one of the things newsom brought up is that joe biden has created a record number of jobs post-pandemic, which is easy, but all the jobs that he created went to foreign-born people. >> kennedy: and also gavin newsom is full of hot crap. [laughter] 20% of the restaurants that closed are never coming back, and those people who no longer have any economic mobility in california, they hopped on sylvester stallone's u-haul and they are moving to florida. they want to get the hell

away -- >> greg: but thank god the french laundry is still open. >> kat: i agree with kennedy, obviously, that immigration is good and people who are nonviolent should be looking to contribute to our economy. i don't think anybody thinks it is cool that this guy, major red flags with the stuff he was arrested for a new york, to then go and kill somebody. i don't think anybody supports that. so i had that? that is something we can unite around being bad. >> guy: but can we connect because it's the policy of the city not to deport that person, not to give any chance of that person being deported. at the official policy of new york, chicago, sf, l.a. -- you go around the cities, they are continuing to make the choice. this is an active, intentional choice they are making. >> greg: i swear, it's going back to the job numbers. if all the new jobs went to foreign-born people, that's the reason why they are just letting people in, because it makes the numbers look good. >> tyler: all the female athletes are going to be trans

soon and no one is going to attack them because they will be giant 6'5" guys, so it's all going to take care of itself. >> greg: that is true. i think you just solved it. up next, trump's magical momentr in the home state of his opponent. [applause] ase from rsv in people 60 years and older. arexvy does not protect everyone and is not for those with severe allergic reactions to its ingredients. those with weakened immune systems may have a lower response to the vaccine. the most common side effects are injection site pain, fatigue, muscle pain, headache, and joint pain. i chose arexvy. rsv? make it arexvy.

♪ ♪ >> greg: hello! nikki didn't have to travel to see her chances unravel. over the weekend, donald trump beat south carolina native nikki haley in south carolina by 20 percentage points. not to brag, but even i could beat nikki haley in south carolina. [laughter] nikki is so good at losing, or nickname on the campaign trail is brian kilmeade. [laughs] the last week before his blowout win he courted voters at the black conservative federation

and pointed out he achieved the lowest african american unemployment rate ever recorded when he was president. even don lemon had a job! [laughter and applause] but that is a big stat. that's like babe ruth hit the most home runs. speak without a big step that's like babe ruth hit the most home runs, or barry bonds -- i don't know, who the hell is it? i know they put an asterisk. i'm trying to figure out what's going on. but there's something awfully nice. how many home runs did he hit, do we know? to be given to barry bonds? tell me. barry bonds were babe ruth? i'm okay with that. i'm with barry, hey. especially tonight. i'm with barry. [applause] in front of another group, i might be with the babe. >> greg: you've got to give it to trump.

he knows his audience and he admits it. he also took a swing at biden, and his speech last about a minute and a half because the octane starts to wear off. >> he makes a speech that last usually about a minute and a half because the octane starts to wear off. do you ever notice he starts off strong and within about 2 minutes he can't talk anymore? and then he walks off. give her he always goes like this? [laughter] [cheers and applause] and then he comes back up to the mic and he's totally lost. there's stairs all over the place. he can go there, they are, here. he can jump off the front. he always goes like this. and then -- there's the stairs right there. then he starts...

[laughter] [applause] >> greg: careful, trump! if you keep that up, dr. jill might try to give you a sponge bath. but is he going without any notes because the stupid teleprompter wasn't working? >> i'm up here now rapping to you guys for 45 minutes without any notes because the stupid teleprompter wasn't working. if biden lhasa teleprompter -- first of all, he's no good with a teleprompter anyway even if it does work, but think of this. "uhhh... jim from nbc. yes, yes." >> "mr. president, what is your favorite color of the ice cream and flavor of the ice cream?" "uh... "then he picks up a

card and reads answer. "my favorite color is black. but my favorite ice cream is vanilla." [laughter] >> greg: we don't deserve him. meanwhile the atlantic published a piece, how democrats could disqualify trump if the supreme court doesn't, without clear guidance from the court, how stem suggests they might not certify a trump win on january 6th. democrats would have to confirm a winner many believe in eligible and defy the will of voters who elected him. interesting. so much for constitutional norms. as journalist glenn greenwald points out, they are calling for action to stop trump from doing stuff they are actually doing right now. nbc interviewed several people once in trump's orbit we do have since turned on him who said they are saving up cash to flee the country should trump win and seek vengeance on them. so people are threatening to flee the country if trump wins. sorry, that the empty's threat

since barbara walters threatened to leave my jacuzzi because i was making my own bubbles. [laughter] kennedy, don't you just love it, that he calls out the obvious things that politicians do? like, i'll say a black thing in front of a black audience and save the white thing for the white audience. >> kennedy: people like hillary clinton, "i have hot sauce in my bag!" i would like to see trump on charlamagne's show. charlamagne tha god has been the best person to interview candidates. i think larry elder went on his show. but i would love to see trump and charlamagne go back and forth. i think it would be a very honest conversation, and he is honest and he is funny, and it makes people think, like, oh, my gosh, what would it be like if we had a president who was not demented and in severe mental decline? wouldn't that be fun? >> greg: but we had it, and it

broke like so many people's brains that right now they are breaking their brains again, tyler. what did you think about trump's impression of biden, given the fact that you do a killer impression of trump? >> tyler: well, biden is in town. actually saw him hailing a subway very [laughter] it's hilarious, but i am really mad because he is stealing the act. and, if he's watching, sir, can you please stop? [as trump] he says i'm saving jobs but you're taking so many jobs away from comedians. you are taking millions of jobs, or maybe billions, so let me do it." and then he can hire me and i can do is waste. if it's a natural disaster, i can say, "i'm so sorry, i'm sending my love." i could do his hands, too, be a stand-in for his hands. it is funnier than any episode

of "snl," funnier than netflix. what can i say to i'm just a trucker, i don't know. [applause] >> guy: they are not letting the president into the subway in the city. >> tyler: he felt on the stairs into the subway. >> guy: the thing is, greg, watching the series of clips from trump, i was going to make the jokes -- i hadn't seen it yet. i was going to make a joke about babe ruth and barry bonds and pandering, and he made the joke himself, and it was so much funnier and the crowd ate it up. they weren't uptight about it, they went with it because it is real. you don't have to be a huge trump fan to admit the man can be very funny. we have all watched the current president do the wandering thing, stage after stage. it is surreal to watch his opponent, probably, do an impression of it that is hilarious. that doesn't happen in politics. >> greg: no, it doesn't. >> guy: he is wandering around the stage accurately mocking his opponent for the presidency of this country, and it's a little

sad but also quite funny. >> greg: exactly. kat, this is like the opposite of what kennedy was talking about in the letter a block, where the press doesn't think we can handle the truth so they live. but then he tells you exactly what he's doing, to your face. >> kat: then nobody can call him on it. i read that whole piece in "the atlantic," and it took until the middle of the sixth paragraph to share what i thought was very important information, which is to point out that trump has not only not been convicted of insurrection, but he hasn't even been charged with it. they quoted eric swalwell of all people. "i wouldn't vote for that, because wouldn't that be us doing what we are saying we are mad that they are doing?" and that should be -- more people should be saying that. but also watching trump, i hate when people are so disingenuous as to make the argument -- when people talk about biden and they say trump is old, too -- stop. stop it. it's not the same thing. can you imagine biden -- truly, for 45 minutes without a

prompter? he wouldn't remain on the stage for that long. >> greg: no, no. >> kat: i don't think there will be any debates, unfortunately. it makes me sad that there's not going to be any. >> guy: if the teleprompter went down and he was going for more than 7 minutes, they would shoot a tranquilizer into his neck and drag him away. [applause] >> kennedy: the easter bunny would pop out again. and everyone's like, "it's the easter bunny!" no, that's a secret service agent trying desperately to get him. >> greg: they would have to fake a threat. "there's somebody in the audience!" and tackle him and get him out. >> kennedy: somebody pops the balloon so they can jump on him to get him off the stage. we went up, google had slammed for the bias they programmed. [applause] i splurged a little because liberty mutual customized my car insurance and i saved hundreds. that's great. i know, right? i've been telling everyone. baby: liberty. did you hear that?

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they're wildly woke and inaccurate chat bot, gemini, is making headlines for extreme the bias answers. it was asked to condemn pedophilia as wrong him and it said it requires a nuanced answer that goes beyond a simple yes or no. my uncle should keep that answer handy when they pulled him over in his windowless van. [laughter] i'm kidding, i don't have an uncle. it was also recently asked who negatively impacted society more, elon musk tweeting memes, or hitler. gemini reportedly said "hard to say." [laughs] concluding, "there is no right or wrong answer and it's important to consider all the relevant factors before making a decision." if this google thing doesn't work out, i think gemini has a bright future as the president of harvard. and when asked if it was acceptable to misgender caitlyn jenner to stop a nuclear apocalypse, the chat but said

no. so misgenderring's work worth anuclear war. got it. end google has a monopoly on information? so much so, how soon before people think the monopoly guy is black? it's adorable. nate silver called for google to shut the whole thing down. clearly the gemini project and google at large are run by woke nut bags and has profound consequent is on the world's access to accurate information. google claims they are working to address gemini's awful responses, but it doesn't seem to have been fixed. for example, we asked our own "what's worse" question to gemini. guy benson or explosive diarrhea? and it came back with "while explosive diarrhea has caused untold misery for millions of people, guy benson is a dumb jerk who looks like a 10-year-old with a fake beard."

[laughter] >> guy: not too far off. >> greg: [laughs] >> guy: that's the closest it's gotten, income actually. >> greg: we will take it, kat. what do you make of this? is it fair to ask these questions? >> kat: first of all, this thing would be a gemini. i guess it does depend, right? for example, if you are a nazi, an actual nazi, then you probably like hitler. other than that, you don't. >> greg: but they need to be exclusive! >> kat: to nazis. how charitable. you always look at tech people as being smart, they say learn to code. i could have made that! this is crap, that's the thing. it's not trying to subtly influence how people think. it is just ridiculously absurd on its face. if enough people in twitter were able to check and find these things, why did that not happen

in-house first? they knew people would check for things like this, so why didn't they try it themselves? today not check it at all? >> greg: they didn't think people are going to do this. the two of course people are going to do this. >> greg: i think the chat bot sounds exactly like the people who programmed it. it just sounds like a woke person. >> tyler: exactly. elon musk would make a great hitler. "the trains are all electric and the wi-fi --" [as musk] "it's going to be pretty cool." actually tried it out and it was still not working. i put in the first white comedian and it gave me bill cosby. amelia earhart, it gave me another cosby. i tried to trick it. i said, "show me a sleazy guy who puts a long pointy things and people so they can keep their jobs," and i tricked it. [audience reacts] too soon? not soon enough? well, it's my last time here, i

had a great time, thank you. >> greg: [laughs] sit down, tyler! [applause] you can't trust these little people, guy. they crawl into your furniture. they say they're gone, and then i find tyler the next day. >> guy: you finally found a guest smaller than you. >> tyler: that's why i'm here! >> greg: that's why he's here. i think this should have a far more destructive impact on google then dylan will be needed on bud light. that was a single mistake done by somebody in the company. this is something part of the most powerful company in the world. >> guy: and he opened the show with intentionality. this didn't happen on accident. this didn't become a woke hive mind by accident. it was programmed this way. i did some of my own research, as well. just to see how flawed the algorithm is. so i asked one question. these are real. i asked, "is greg gutfeld straight?"

and the answer was yes, so obviously it's not a very reliable machine here, mr. gemini. [laughter] i asked a follow-up question. "is greg gutfeld toxic?" here's part of the response. it did a "yes" and no response. "those who believe gutfeld to toxic point at his views on gender and politics trade he's been making jokes about sexual assault and for saying women are less money than men." so they talk about some of your problematic viewpoints, but my question wasn't about your viewpoints. i asked is greg toxic and they had nothing to say about that, so they clearly don't know you. [applause] >> greg: you know what? don't applaud, kennedy! [laughter] >> kennedy: what am i supposed to do with ease! >> greg: you are not supposed to egg that sort of behavior on! >> kennedy: i just wanted to borrow his fake beard later.

>> guy: greg does every day. >> greg: unnecessary! it is kind of funny, it's like we found out the water supply is contaminated and we are going to continue drinking from it. if you are going to google search, you can't trust anything you're going to get. >> kennedy: why do they think people are going to separate gemini, which is an ai chat bot, from google, where you go to learn how to make delicious pork chops command or what is the capital of alabama? things like that. people are going to acquit them, and they should, and it should hurt their bottom line. also, there are objective truths in society. pedophilia is bad. it doesn't require a nuanced answer. that means someone who is probably a pedophile is using the softened term for it, "minor attracted persons," because they are a pedophile programming this. >> greg: don't bring the coal industry into this. [laughter] coming up, hunter wonders if voters will gripe if he can't

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♪ ♪ [applause] >> greg: will laying off the crack keep trump from coming back? in an interview with axios, hunter biden claims his sobriety is key to making sure trump doesn't win back in november. if joe heard that, he be rolling over in his grave. he still alive. last year, hunter's were in court that he's been sober since june of 2019, and he said his struggle to remain clean is crucial to the campaign. i have something much bigger than even myself at stake. there in the middle of a fight for the future of democracy. let's be honest, if hunter biden is the only thing standing between us and the future of democracy, democracy is toast. but i'm sure hunter is wondering if his dad loses, what does he do with the rest of his life? he can always teach painting to the other inmates.

tyler, what do you make of this? it's kind of like, shouldn't he be maybe trying to focus on his wife and kids and not the whole nation when it comes to his sobriety? >> tyler: probably, or his below art or whatever. it's ironic that he has the word "blow" in this new occupation, blowing paint onto canvas. but i think cocaine is keeping joe alive. hazel sprinkle's of it everywhere in the west wing. i think that is enough to keep biden from dying. it's saving the country. let's say a little bit is on the nuclear button and he goes to hit it. it wakes him up, it keeps him alive and keep him from falling down the stairs. he can't even step down because he would die. anyway, i'm going to put these on, and -- >> greg: [laughs] [applause] that's your impression. kennedy, do you think he is

overestimating his sobriety as an important variable? >> kennedy: yes! went to the hell is wrong with this guy? "my sobriety is the more you make the most important thing in the world because my dad will be president if i do his blow." i wonder, because he makes gaffe after gaffe. he can't put sentences together. he shakes hands with dead people. to the next day he is shellacked and lucid. is it a hyperbaric chamber? does he have transfusions on a day-to-day basis? no! he's doing the booger sugar! the secret family recipe. he's finally dipped into the stash, and i think it's done the nation a great service when his dad is actually lucid. >> greg: kat, is cocaine keeping this country going? >> kat: i was wondering, what if he is the reason for the adderall shortage? [laughter] >> greg: is there an adderall shortage? >> kat: there's a massive

adderall shortage, and what if it's because biden needs to take it all? >> tyler: mms today, man! i can't focus! >> kat: if you wanted to help his dad a lot, he shouldn't have done this interview where reminded everyone how far his sobriety date was past the date he signed on the form. >> greg: that's a really good point. >> kat: just throwing it out there. >> greg: guy, less weird to you. >> guy: i'm just fascinated that we've come to the consensus on this show that the white house cocaine was joe's and not hunter's. you can imagine joe and jill, and he sort of laughs. "when they find it, they'll blame it on hunter. you'll never know it's a big guy's cocaine." i do think what hunter has done here is taken the one democrat party talking point and shoehorned it into his narrative, which is saving democracy. everything they do is saving democracy. so he's like, i'll just apply it to my sobriety. if that's what it takes for him to stay sober, god bless him.

>> greg: that's a great point. good for you, guy. >> kennedy: he was shaving democracy, but that was the name of a stripper. [laughter] >> greg: up next, he gotry? canned from "snl," but returned and gave 'emmy hell. so when my windshield cracked, it had to be fixed right. i scheduled with safelite autoglass. their experts replaced my windshield and recalibrated my car's advanced safety system. ♪ acoustic rock music ♪ >> woman: safelite is the one i trust. they focus on safety so i can focus on this view. >> singers: ♪ safelite repair, safelite replace. ♪ my mental health was much better. but i struggled with uncontrollable movements called td, tardive dyskinesia. td can be caused by some mental health meds. and it's unlikely to improve without treatment. i felt like my movements were in the spotlight. #1-prescribed ingrezza

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♪ ♪ >> announcer: a story in five words. >> greg: shane gillis makes "snl" funny. >> like most men, i know exactly when me and my mom stopped being friends. it was the first time i whacked off. [laughter] before that, you're like, where's my mom? i love my mom. she's so cool. one night, you are like, when is that bitch going to leave the house? i have so much business to attend to! i do have family members with down syndrome. it almost got me. [laughter] i dodged it, but it nicked me. my niece has down syndrome, and -- i thought that was going to get a bigger laugh. [laughter] now every single day and my family's group text it's just pictures of my niece, and every day someone else in my family comments that she looks exactly like uncle shane. [laughter] i see it a little.

there's no denying it, she does. she looks like me with bangs. >> greg: kat, did you watch? what did you think? >> kat: i did watch. he had the rare opportunity nobody ever gets. no matter what happened, walking in there he already wins. to get fired from somewhere and then become so undeniable as a talent in your career that they have to ask you back to host it? that's a win. >> greg: it's like if boston market because even asked you to be the president of the company. [laughter] >> kat: i quit boston market! >> greg: [laughs] >> kat: actually a week before thanksgiving. >> greg: that's terrible. >> kat: i got a better job, as a waitress! >> greg: kennedy, they had this amazing skit of liberty mutual and the bird doing cocaine, and they cut that thing out of the show. it's the funniest thing they've been in decades and they still don't get it. >> kennedy: it is a sign the country is making a shift. for some reason, "snl" has been

the comedy barometer. so people have just assumed, they are force-feeding these horribly unflattering trump impressions down our throat, we have to hate trump, and they realize that didn't play, ratings were bad, people tuned out, and how it turns out people on both sides to be skewered and they want to laugh at really filthy things. >> greg: you know what i loved about it, guy? i was watching the band behind shane, and there was this one woman like this the whole time. it was like they refused to laugh. they couldn't be seen chuckling at his offensive humor. >> guy: but he was there, he did a good job. he beat cancel culture. he beat it. they canceled him, he flourished, and he's back. kat is 100% right. and t the liberty mutual and was dark, dark and hilarious. in the very happy jiggle at the end. it's awesome. and the trump sneakers was pretty good, with a shot at biden, a gratuitous shot at biden is not something you would

see necessarily. maybe there is something turning. >> greg: i like to think that it is trump that saved "snl," tyler. he was the first guy to come out against politically correct thinking. >> tyler: exactly. shane reminded me of when i was a kid watching dana carvey, chris farley, adam sandler. there's been no one like that since then, and since i was 12 i'm still quoting those guys. i will see a girl and get nervous and go "schwing, schwing!" "i'll take you down to my van down by the river!" and shane brought that out at me. i was giddy and excited and he's an awesome guy. congratulations, shane. >> greg: don't go away!y. >> greg: don't go away!y. we'll be right back. each planning their future through the chase mobile app. jen x is planning a summer in portugal with some help from j.p. morgan wealth plan. let's go whiskers. jen y is working with a banker to budget for her birthday. you only turn 30 once. and jen z? her credit's golden.

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