you suspend a campaign, you unsuspended, republicans looking at the race who also suspended their campaigns come about a dozen of them, how about on suspending theirs, too. if you had to give them recommendations? >> i wouldn't be recommending anything to anyone. they can run their own campaign. but i will tell you something. i have some respect for nikki haley. even though i don't agree with her politically, i think nikki haley grit, staying in this race and making sure our message gets out there knowing the message on the values that she believes in are actually more important than the horse race, i agree with her 100%. >> neil: all right, marianne williamson -- >> a horse race going on here. >> neil: i hear you. sorry for the truncated time peered always good having you on, marianne. she is back in the presidential race challenging joe biden for the presidential nomination and making some waves. we will follow that. also development at the border. right now, "the five." ♪ ♪ >> jesse: hello, everybody.

i'm jesse watters along with judge jeanine pirro, jessica tarlov, katie pavlich, and greg gutfeld. it's 5:00 in new york city and this is "the five." ♪ ♪ it's a tale of two border trips. joe biden and donald trump making dueling visits to the besieged border in texas and seeing two different realities. on the left, president biden wrapping up remarks in brownsville after shuffling his way around the sanitized version of the border. the area he is and once saw 10,000 illegals a day, but thanks to the texas razor wire he wants to remove, crossings are an all-time low. here is the president. >> folks, it's real simple. it's time to act. it is long past time to act and they desperately need more resources. more agents, more officers, more judges, more equipment, in order to secure our border. folks, it is time for us to move on this. we can't wait any longer. folks, the bipartisan border security deal is a win for the

american people. and it is a win for the people of texas. and it is fair for those who legitimate to have a right to come here to begin with. it is a win for the people of brownsville. i believe that is why the border patrol unit endorsed it. >> jesse: and on the right, former president trump's touring eagle pass, texas, at the section of the border that has been bombarded by hordes of illegals. it was a big contrast to see these visits. within the last five days, biden's brownsville has seen just 46 migrant encounters, while trump eagle pass has been rocked by over 2,000. the former president getting a tour from texas governor greg abbott and letting it rip. >> this is a joe biden invasion. this is a biden invasion. now the united states is being overrun by the biden migrant crime. it is new form of vicious violation to our country. it is migrant crime. joe biden will never say lincoln riley's name, but we will say it and we will remember it. we're not going to forget her.

i will say this, it is a military operation. this is like a war. >> jesse: so donald trump said her name. i don't believe joe biden said laken riley's name, but the way he is making this into a military invasion really hits home with a lot of people and should be effective. >> jeanine: well, i think he was right on point, especially for this moment, because what america is seeing and hearing about are these horrific crimes, and greg abbott, the governor of texas, talked about it right after former president trump spoke, and he talked about a 2-year-old being shot in the face, a 14-year-old being stabbed at knife point, another individual, all illegals in this country, stabbing a man, had so much blood on him, not counting the blood of the man he was stabbing. look, we are at a very critical point in this country. it almost isn't about just the border anymore. and i still, jesse, i don't

understand why joe biden went to brownsville and then he is claiming, we've got to do something about the border. six people came across yesterday. he could have said, hey, i solve the border issue. but okay, so he comes down and he goes to a place in brownsville where six people came through. right now the american people are more concerned about who is coming through. there is a person from el salvador who came into this country four times and there was a red notice. a red notice means that the country of el salvador has issued a worldwide alert for this individual. they are that dangerous. and this person has come in and out of the united states four times. deported once and then came back four times. a red alert from el salvador for an ms gang member. they kill to get into the gang. what you have today, it's almost like the tale of two cities. one guy is standing there saying, you know, it's about

politics, we have to come together, the other guy is saying, guys, you want to talk about an existential threat, it is not climate change and it is not the nuclear war. it is immigration that is impacting every person in this country by countries that are literally emptying their jails and emptying their mental institutions, based not upon discrimination but what we are seeing. >> jesse: jessica, why doesn't joe biden just do something with the executive power to just shut everything down? >> jessica: well, he has teased that he is going to. i also don't think it is possible to do that. you hear a lot about these 90 executive orders that he undid and everything, but a lot of that was due to what was tied up in the court system. it actually wasn't joe biden's decision, anyway, and former dhs secretary jeh johnson was on with the "fox & friends" crew this morning. i would wel recommend everyone h the 17 minute interview. a, this is just what happens. and donald trump came into office, he undid a lot of what

obama had done and president obama was the best at keeping migrants out of the country. he deported more undocumented people than george bush and donald trump. a lot to learn there from him. to be on just a little bit more. >> jessica: like, what you are a little bit? >> jesse: i'm talking hundreds of thousands per year. that's pretty good. >> jessica: it's amazing. >> jesse: hundreds of thousands per year, as well. >> jessica: what i was going to start with, i know exactly what question you are going to give me, the baseline that nothing joe biden was going to do today was meant to be good enough for you so that is the basis i am working from. now we will go to what secretary johnson was talking about. he was focused on the fact that there are 1900 miles of u.s.-mexico border but only 300 miles of mexico and central america. he said that is what we need to put pressure on, mexico needs to be doing more. i didn't know how much cooperation they had gotten from sanctuary cities to work with the feds. do something that president biden should try to move back or bring back interaction, i should say. they were able to get people who

were violent criminals out, people who were committing some of these terrible -- >> jeanine: what are you saying? these cities are cooperating with i.c.e.? >> jessica: they were in the obama administration. >> jeanine: just talk about joe biden. >> jessica: i'm talking about -- >> jeanine: he went there today. what did he tell you? >> jessica: he told me we need to pass a bipartisan border deal, you know why? we need things like more border patrol agents. we need a higher threshold for asylum -- >> jeanine: to let more people in? why do we need more border patrol? >> jessica: what are you talking about? >> jeanine: remain in mexico and the title 42 -- >> jessica: i guess i was right that nothing joe biden could have said or i could have said what f-stop you guys are doing this. these are real solutions. >> jesse: keep it moving, i love you but let's keep it moving. >> jessica: are not going to say it back to you. john fetterman said today that he would be open to a grand bargain about hr 2. no, it's good. these are things that are good for you, why won't you let --

>> jesse: even if you sign this bipartisan border deal -- you didn't even read it. someone from el salvador still comes across and the border patrol, don't care how many you guys higher, still catches and releases them -- >> jessica: that's not true. >> jesse: we've got to get it -- >> katie: we should be talking about the fact that joe biden invited this problem. he literally stood up on the debate stage and said all of these people should come here, and they followed his lead at all of these democratic cities who said that trump was racist and therefore they were not going to comply with i.c.e. detainers like they did under obama, that creates the problem now with these violent criminals. biden gave him a speech. i didn't hear him deterring anyone from coming here, he said was we have to pass this legislation in order to get more border patrol agents to process these people. he wants a bill that would pay for attorneys, which is also just another magnet for people

to come here. and he wants this bill to pass because it gives billions of dollars to these leftist ngos that are part of this illegal immigration industrial complex, which only allows more people to come into the country. don't hear him talking about criminals. donald trump goes to the border and talks about criminals. he doesn't talk about illegal immigrants having dignity and being part of these ngos and they need the asylum process and they should have court dates and taxpayer-funded lawyers. trump goes to the border and names a number of people who have been victims of violent crimes. joe biden doesn't do that. so when people are making this choice about who they want to be president, president trump is looking out for americans and joe biden goes to the border and looks out for illegal immigrants peered final thing, when you look at the photo or the visual of joe biden standing in front of these border patrol agents, who he has smeared over and over again, they look like they are being held hostage. and now he has the nerve to say we don't want to politicize this and god bless the border patrol. those guys who he has smeared for whipping agents -- haitians, legibly, that ever happen, that

not gotten an apology, they're not gotten their jobs back so they are not patrolling the border. >> jesse: greg gutfeld? >> greg: obviously this has been trump's signature issue and joe is there because of trump. he is always playing catch up. he is always plagiarizing. he is like a coworker who tries to take credit for someone else's work because he didn't do the job. i think the contrast is very stark here between the capable and to be incapable. it is the key difference between these charcoal guys. you can hate trump all you want but you can't say he is incapable, and you can like joe all you want and realize he is incapable. he is a nice guy but he can't get the job done. trump was on the start of years before he was running and it was because it was patriotic and not political, took the rest of these lemmings to catch up. so the only political animal here is joe, who required a heinous murder to get him on a plane to el paso, or else he wouldn't have been there!

so trump has been right on the big issues, whether you like him or not, especially immigration, so this is what he has home-field advantage. i think the dems and the media at large are just deeply offended that they even have to address this, right? to them, trump's inelegant and honest phrasing on the issue is more offensive than the crimes that are caused by illegal immigration. and this is, you know, this isn't an exaggeration, the amount of attention that is paid to trump's words, far larger than the intention paid to the rapes and murders. it is like hamas. they are more outraged by the israeli response than the initial october 7th massacre. what's interesting here to me is this provides kind of a loose model for a debate. joe does not want to debate trump on the issues and the media will protect him so why doesn't trump just go places that forces joe to debate him. next time go to a supermarket

chain. show that the prices are 20% up and pressure joe to show up at a supermarket. maybe he will. or go to a street where all of the stores are closed down and the homeless are living on the street. may be joe will acknowledge that. shame him into actually addressing the issues since he was too scared to debate. >> jesse: shame him. shame, shame, shame. >> jessica: shame on you all. >> greg: shame on you, jessica. >> jesse: i don't even need to hear you love me because i know you love me. coming up, liberals warned the apocalypses here over the supreme court decision to hear trump's immunity case. ♪ ♪

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♪ ♪ >> greg: urban dance squad. one hit. grab all your loved ones and escape while you can. the media is once again warning that the trump apocalypse is upon us after the supreme court announced it will hear the former president's immunity c case. >> the craven nests of the court is evident in what they are doing with the pacing here. >> it is frustrating to me the idea that the u.s. supreme court is going to be delaying this trial. >> it's a bad look for them. to have taken this. >> it is an unmistakable sign from the maga majority of the trump-created court that they are with him. >> there is a lot tonight to be pessimistic about. >> some of the justices simply want to assist donald trump in delaying the resolution of this case in the hope of pushing his trial off past the election. >> i am beyond terrified,

nicole, right now, for our country. >> we can't put all of our hopes in the supreme court. the people need to be engaged and aroused at this point to demand that there be justice. >> greg: engaged and aroused. aall right. anyway, roll back. [laughter] don't worry about them. the media found another way to get engaged and aroused last night after a radical judge kicked trump off the ballot in illinois, cook county judge tracy porter, whose previous expertise was being a traffic judge, like you, jesse, ruling that the don cannot appear on the states ballot citing the 14th amendment and colorado's decision. is it because of the rulings on the timing? >> katie: they claim this is all about saving democracy,

protecting voters, saving america, but they just exposed themselves because if they actually cared about that they wouldn't care when the trial might be, they just would agree the supreme court should take up the immunity question to see if president trump qualifies. they are very upset this may delay a trial which means they are just again admitting that this is really about trying to convict him before the election because polling shows if he were convicted people wouldn't vote for him. they just exposed themselves it is all about political games and they are trying to take down biden's top political opponent but still allowing them to vote for the sake of democracy. >> greg: i hate it when democrats expose themselves, it is the opposite of being engaged and aroused. jesse? katie brings up a good point, this is actually trying to compromise an election. >> jesse: so last night was election night for them. and they lost, greg. you could see the emotion because they have put all of

their eggs in this basket of law fair and now they are realizing that the judges at the supreme court aren't on their schedule. so they are realizing that joe biden might have to win this himself. you saw them last night realizing that this is going to be a free and fair election, to a certain extent, where it is going to be mano a mano and you are not going to have judges and lawyers screwing around with everything. because they have been trying to persuade a handful of judges instead of 150 million voters. that is what they do. that is why they get so hysterical when you have supreme court nominations. that is why they go to mattresses for someone like kavanaugh. that is how their agenda happens. it is all in the courts, very rarely legislatively, so when you have someone like trump come in and beat hillary, those were hillary's three supreme court

nominations. that would have changed the future of the country. that would have fundamentally transformed america. they don't have that now. and now they are freaking out about it. you saw that traffic court judge want to give them a fair shake, also wrote parking tickets as a judge. marshall, jon jay, some of the greatest justices on the supreme court used to write speeding tickets for buggies. you think you actually are believing what i am saying? >> greg: i do. >> jeanine: don't believe it. don't. >> greg: you just made that up? >> jesse: i made it out. >> greg: this is why you are the number one name in news. and i made that up. judge, comment on the traffic judge, and also the meltdown, what's behind all of this? >> jeanine: you know, it's really amazing that a woman who was in traffic court two years ago and deciding municipal cases, whether or not the police officer actually gave you the right traffic ticket, is over here saying i'm going to decide on behalf of the people of

illinois that donald trump cannot be on the ballot. these people -- i am so sick of their saying he is a threat to democracy when everything they do is a threat to democracy and preventing the people from engaging in the democratic process, which is voting for the person that they want to be the president. what are they so afraid of? they are afraid of the fact he is going to win because he's got most of america behind him. they see the polls, they see what is going on, so you have all these crazies at msnbc saying the supreme court is cravenly denying a review of the case, no, are you stupid? they are not being cowardly, they actually are expediting the case. the only thing they wanted was the process, it goes through the d.c. circuit and then it goes to the united states supreme court. and how dare the supreme court wait two weeks. really? the supreme court is involved in life-and-death issues every day. and they should stop everything to decide your political issue? no! and that is the problem with all

of this. this is about politics. this is about there getting out there and saying we don't want him on the ballot. supreme court is going to do what it wants to do and the process has to work. and the truth is, supreme court makes the decision in june. judge chutkan -- whatever -- she is probably three months before they can actually go to trial because of all of the motion practice that needs to be done, and they are furious. they want him convicted and out. they hate him so much, i worry about what is going to happen if he does appear on the ballot. >> greg: jessica, i yield the rest of the time to you. >> jessica: i'm glad the flashing red lights haven't started already because maybe i have 30 seconds. i love days when you guys think that you are describing joe biden but you are actually describing donald trump. so the person who didn't want the american people to be able to speak in 2020 was donald trump, and he had his team of crackpot lawyers fanned out across the country to bring

live less lawsuits when there had been recount after recount to make sure that the american public was disenfranchised and that we wouldn't know how georgia voted and we wouldn't know how arizona voted. then he called up people to put pressure on them to find him 11,000 plus votes in georgia. we know he did it in michigan. ronna mcdaniel helped him out with that. that is the threat to democracy and that is what this case is about. and when we talk about this impeachment inquiry, which is obviously a catastrophic disaster for jim palmer and company, you guys say, we need to know if joe biden is dirty, right, i don't want to go at november 5th and show up and say, is this the guy who is making millions of dollars off of china and uzbekistan, whatever, pulling diamonds out of his hair, whatever you are going to say. >> jeanine: the laptop. >> jessica: the penis pictures that were going to decide america's future. don't we deserve to know if one of the nominees for president is a felon? that's what this case is about.

and jack smith made a motion to have this expedited so that the american people would get the chance to actually know who they are voting for appeared and yes, katie, of course, the fact that over 30% of republicans say we are not going to vote for a felon matters, but it matters electorally, it also matters on a moral level. do you want to vote for a felon? >> katie: why don't they just let the supreme court decide on the presidential immunity question so that -- so that the process -- >> jessica: they should have done it in time. the d.c. court of appeals wrote a nearly 60 page opinion that was incredibly detailed. they did take extra time for that which no one begrudged them because of the content. trump's lawyer actually argued that joe biden could order someone from seal team six to murder -- >> greg: that was ridiculous. >> jessica: but we don't have to go. >> greg: we do, actually. >> jessica: well, fine. the thing is, i am not done.

>> jesse: jessica, come on, we've got to go. >> jessica: i consider this a victory of epic proportion and you may continue. >> greg: up next, kamala heaping praise on america's no bail bozos. ♪ ♪ hey. you seein' this? wait... where's the dish? there ain't one. you're tellin' me you can get directv — the good stuff — and you don't need a satellite dish? oh, i used to love doin' my business on those things! you're one sick pigeon. them dishes kept the rain off our beaks! we just have different priorities is all. satellite-free directv... never thought i'd see the day. well, our lifespans are quite short... stream directv without a satellite dish. i'm going to do this thing with my neck, just for a bit.

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it is a very effective way, among other ways, to achieve public safety. it is in the best interest of everyone that the community can trust law enforcement. >> katie: kamala with soft on crime prosecutors, she encourage donations to bale funds for people who burned cities to the ground in 2020. also, greg, that bail fund was for alleged murderers and convicted rapists, as well. >> greg: what world is she living in? the crime rate is down? committing less crimes? criminals locked up? no, maura police arrest and more people? no, you stop calling something a crime and reporting it as a crime, that is why -- don't puke on my shirt and call it rizzo, lady. see how it works, because people

have had enough. when you deny the observable reality, lives in a community where there is crime or knows a victim of crime, that is all of us. all you have to do is come out of your little world, look at the closed businesses had empty subways in new york, the streets of our cities lined with homeless and syringes. we see it. but the strategy right now, whether it is crime or the border or inflation, deny the observable reality that everyone feels and just hope they forget. but we won't. >> katie: kamala's boss president joe biden was at the white house yesterday denying those things. listen to this. >> last year, the united states had one of the lowest rates of all violent crime -- of all violent crimes, in more than 50 years. murder, rape, aggravated assault and robbery will drop sharply. property crime and theft. and it matters. you know, since day one, my

administration have been working with law enforcement, mayors and community leaders, to do what we know works to keep people and communities safe. >> katie: 's or, what about the stats here? as greg points out, you downgrade everything that is supposed to be a misdemeanor, let people out without prosecuting them, then it seems like the data isn't accurate. >> jeanine: look, i heard him say that and i said to myself, this man is really on another planet. for him to come out and say that crime was at its lowest -- violent crime is in its lowest rate in 50 years, the man has no idea what is going on in this nation that he sits at the home of. that is an outrage. that is not only an untruth, that is an insult to americans who have been impacted by crime, as greg just said. look, is there a drop in crime? may be. police have been defunded, hondo police to arrest crimes, prosecutors are there and dropping charges and not

prosecuting crime, liberal citit bother assigning police to make these arrests, and there is a reduction of crime in new york city. it is violent. i don't even want to walk two blocks here and yet when he is saying, they are saying we have a 60% drop in crime. no, we don't! people aren't calling when they have been a victim of crime. people police aren't responding. 911 doesn't get there. greg, reducing 60% of felony crimes to either misdemeanors or no crimes at all. >> katie: the crime is still happening. >> jeanine: of store of course they are still happening. d.c., where he lives, has had the deadliest year in more than two decades. karine jean-pierre lied. and they are worried about trump? >> katie: speaking of trump, jesse, yesterday when the white house put this fact sheet out, during the previous administration, america saw the largest increase in murders ever reported in 2020. what was happening in summer of 2020 that the democrat party --

>> jesse: not even sure that was true but 2020 was a disaster, and a lot of that was happening because people like joe and kamala bailed out rioters so they committed more crimes. and if i was mayor, i know how to reduce crime. i just wouldn't prosecute it. i could drop shoplifting to 0 if i never prosecuted it. it is a numbers scan and people actually listen to this guy and they believe it. kamala is crazy because kamala is talking about d.a.s that are treating black americans differently than everybody else. she is talking about prosecutors that go in and see someone and say, he has had a hard life, victim of white supremacy, we are going to give them a second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth chance and then he goes out and recommits crimes. we you have people in soros-funded d.a. offices have people get arrested for rape, they get locked up and then they

transition to a woman and then assault more people in prison and the d.a. thinks it's funny. there is nothing to be proud of with soros-funded d.a.'s, they are all radicals and have blood on their hands. jessica, if you say you love me, that'll make up for it. >> jessica: hard to know on the love, may be by the end of the show. i guess the idea is we are not supposed to talk about actual facts, that we should only appeal to emotion on this. and two things can be true. it can be true but they are scary things going on on the subway. i take the subway to and from work every single day. that my deodorant is locked up at cvs, which is really annoying. >> greg: that explains it. >> jessica: those are my pheromones from pregnancy. but the reality is, the numbers that he is talking about, and the brennan center looked into the specifics of where the increases were and the decreases and found that it was equally

spread across democratic and republican cities. these are national trends. that means that in rural america and in urban america we are seeing these drops. and they are notable that violent crime went down in cities with over a million people by 15%? that's -- >> jesse: they were on 30-year highs. >> jessica: they weren't alive in the 1990s. okay. so they're also still remain republican-run cities where the mayors are republicans, your favorites, and they have much higher crime rates than we do here. >> jeanine: new york, chicago, baltimore -- >> jessica: there was a whole thing, tommy tuberville embarrassing himself again talking about alabama versus new york. it is much safer to be walking around here than to be walking around in alabama. you are shaking your head. >> jesse: walked down the streets of bama -- >> jessica: i will pay for your ticket first class. >> jeanine: i'll go with you, jesse. >> jesse: lets go. >> jeanine: sent both of us

they are. >> jesse: we will all be safe. >> jessica: you where to go pros century happening. >> jeanine: up next, greasy gavin newsom earning his nickname. the governor just got busted doing a kickback to one of his biggest donors. ♪ ♪

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♪ ♪ >> jeanine: this is a fox news alert. the transfer for hunter biden's deposition was just released. the first son admitted he had put his father, joe biden come on speakerphone with his business associates and invited him to drop by the business lunches. he also testified repeatedly that his father was not involved in his business dealings. we are digging through it all now and we will bring you any

big news. and now to this. california corruption from america from america is governor. the state passing a law that requires fast food restaurants to start paying workers $20 per hour on april 1st. but tamera bread is free from it next to gavin newsom pushing an unusual carve out that exempts chains that "baked bread and salad as a stand-alone item" and wouldn't you know it, a longtime buddy and big time donor to new some and just so happens to own a bunch of pinero restaurants. the two going back as far as high school and have been involved in previous business dealings. of course, gavin forgot to mention any of this when pushing the law. >> this is a big deal. $20 an hour. 80% of the workforce. there is a lot -- used to be learning the value of hard work.

work a few hours in his first job. that is not the case, folks, that is a romanticized version of a world that does not exist. we have an opportunity to reward that sacrifice and stabilize an in turmoil. >> jeanine: fox news has reached out to the panera owner and the governor. greg flynn says he played no role in form and letting the exemption, office stating, "the governor never met with flynn about this bill and this story is absurd." our legal team has reviewed it and it appears panera is not exempt from the law. all right. only restaurants that are making bread qualified for this exemption. is this cronyism, jesse? >> jesse: remember the obamacare scandal where they had the kickback and the louisiana purchase? this is the panera bread. it is how business is done.

sadly, judge, in politics, sometimes these things happen. but he is claiming it is not true. so now i don't know what to think. did we get the story wrong or is gavin lying? i'm going to go with the lying and i cannot wait to impeach him when he is president for this scandal. you have to be stupid to think that raising minimum wage for fast food to $20 an hour isn't going to supercharge inflation and then make the burgers and the bread, everything, cost twice as much, and no one goes to eat there, then those stores do badly and then they leave like every other store is leaving in san francisco. >> jeanine: you know, katie, newsom told reporters, on this in particular, that the exemption was part of a political sausage making and it reminds me of how in california he was cleaning house for xi jinping. you know, it is something everybody does. >> katie: did you catch what trump said today about his new nickname. he called him gavin new-scum.

greasy gavin and gavin new-scum. why does pinero want an exemption? jesse talked about why, it makes things too expensive and actually hurts the working class, which gavin newsom thinks he is standing up for because these companies who are run by billionaires, this guy is a billionaire, then buy a bunch of machines you do not have to pay, protesting for higher wages, just put machines in the restaurants so there is no workers anymore and that is how people get their fast food. maybe people will still be making bread but they are not going to be serving the customers in the way that they use to and that is why a lot of states have gone the opposite way and not having these minimum wage mandates at this level because it just kills off the business. >> jeanine: if you are a minimum-wage worker why would you work at panera as opposed to mcdonald's? >> jessica: i guess you wouldn't. there was also a quote in the packet from george flynn, the business man in question, saying they are really struggling.

i think it is a tough time for fast food, no matter what bread exemption -- >> katie: because it is expensive. >> jessica: it is expensive. >> katie: why is it expensive? >> jessica: because joe biden is a monster. [laughter] there is going to be an investigation into this. i'm sure the governor's office welcomes that. you would want to know. if this exemption does apply to multiple businesses, then that is what life is. a bakery would get it, it's a stand-alone item come all of these places that sell bread. i don't see a big deal. i was also waiting to be wowed by the amount of money this man gave to his campaign. and it is over two elections, less than $200,000, which does not make or break gavin's fu future. >> jeanine: greg, as the new governor of california when gavin newsom leaves, if it is barbarbara lee, people going toe lining up at these restaurants

to get an exemption from too? >> greg: i'm still trying to figure out, if panera is technically a bakery, right, what bakery serves double-decker sandwiches and chili and mac and cheese and flatbread pizza? that is like calling a strip club a dance recital. there are so much more going on. even if the moves are similar. but it shows you why some people get into politics or become pals with people who are in politics because you become exempt from the rules you enforce on others. that is the only reason. i am obsessed with panera, it is such a weird place. nobody ever says, hey, guys, i have a great idea, let's go to panera come i want to get the green goddess cobb salad. it's the place you go where you quietly meet a friend from high school to tell them you are not going to invest in their novelty thai company. or you sell your used dodge dart. it is a place no one really wants to be there. >> jesse: you are dressed like

panera. >> greg: am i? >> jesse: look at your color scheme. >> greg: maybe i will go there after work. i like their bread bowls. >> katie: because of the bread bowls. >> jesse: just make bread. >> jeanine: we should have panera on sat. >> jesse: come on, producers! >> jeanine: up next, medieval times in america. classroom sword fights and a naked lady fights with a spiked club. ♪ ♪ this year, i got serious about my taxes. i met with a turbotax expert because i had two full time jobs... lawyering and... liaming. all on my own. count on me, mia. i'll file your taxes for you with 100% accuracy, guaranteed. i'm too tired to smile. make your moves count. intuit turbotax. let a full-service expert do your taxes for you, as soon as today. (♪)

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to republican control of the senate. stop garvey. adam schiff for senate. i'm adam schiff, and i approve this message. i'm katie porter and i approve this message. he's the hundred-percent pro-trump candidate for u.s. senate: republican eric early. always supports trump and the maga agenda. republican eric early. endorsed by the california pro-life council... ...opposed to all abortion. and eric early loves the second amendment. eric early. way more dangerous than steve garvey.

he dodges trump. garvey even said he might vote for biden. republican eric early for u.s. senate. too maga. too trump. too dangerous. ♪ ♪ >> jessica: america has gone medieval. a buck naked woman randomly attacking people at venice beach in california until another lady confronted her come armed with a spiked club. thankfully, nobody was hurt. seemed impossible. judge, we all had this reaction. >> jeanine: put her face up there. i want everyone to see her. >> greg: i do, too. and her photo. >> jessica: she's in amazing shape. >> greg: i am so tired of watching plus size drunks beating the crap out of each other at arby's. this is the kind of fight i can get behind.

i am tired of the blurring people. is speech and of blurring is censorship. >> jeanine: her face up there, okay? she's got to be on drugs. >> greg: why are you shaming her, judge? >> jessica: jesse, do you have something sexist to say? >> greg: how is it sexist to say she has a great body? >> jesse: i consider that a challenge. >> jessica: ten seconds. >> jesse: mace-wielding lady will be on "jesse waters primetime." it's not a mace, it is called a morningstar. >> katie: is that true? >> jesse: morningstar. a shaft with a ball and spikes. >> greg: are you lying? >> jesse: i am absolutely not going to tell you if i am lying. >> katie: there is something happening on california beaches, last time i was in california i saw a guy sucking his own toe. i am glad it is women fighting,

not men. >> jessica: i love everyone's points but we have to wrap it up. okay, "one more thing" is up next. ♪ ♪ >> woman: what's my safelite story? i'm a photographer. and when i'm driving, i see inspiration right through my glass. so when my windshield cracked, it had to be fixed right. i scheduled with safelite autoglass. their experts replaced my windshield and recalibrated my car's advanced safety system. ♪ acoustic rock music ♪

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♪ ♪ ♪ >> jesse: time now for "one more thing." judge? >> judge jeanine: not only are stanley cups fireproof but they are aapparently bullet proof. ohio woman claims her cup saved her life after a bullet came flying through her home. ricocheted off the stanley sitting in front of her and through a perfume bottle. >> jesse: that's crazy. >> greg: i don't know if that's the story there. get out of that apartment. >> pr for stanley. >> jess >> jessica: thank you four being a friend. golden girl inspired hair. lynn's mom and grandma both

hairstylists in dallas. the way the baby's are hair grows staple you would do on a betty white. that was their inspiration. so cute. is that not cute? >> greg: you go curl. tonight, gutfeld tonight 10:00 p.m. watch it. >> jessica: did you guys actually not think that's cute? i think it's adorable. >> jesse: johnny in lieu of women's history month and we do not have the johnny -- darn it. producers. no panera bread. no johnny shot. what is this place? >> katie: have to watch your show tonight. it's okay. >> jesse: the naked ax wielding woman at 8:00. >> greg: liar. >> jesse: i didn't say she would be appearing i said we would have her. that's it for us tonight. have a great night, everybody. >> bret: no johnny soundbite, no panera bread? >> jesse: i'm going to work