>> sean: get ready it will be a allowed spring to say the least. later this month, two large groups of cicadas will emerge at the same time across 16 states. after spending 13 years in 17 years underground respectively that means we will see trillions of cicadas come to the surface. that didn't happen since 1803. thomas jefferson was president. let not your heart be troubled, greg gutfeld will put a smile on your face. [cheering and applause] ♪ ♪ >> greg: yes, in the!

happy monday, everybody! [ cheering ] stop it! okay. united flight out of germany bound for san francisco was forced to turn around after feces flew in to the cabin. which was unfair to the feces that it had both the -- ticket to see his family in san francisco. it came from germany. the white house warned that sticky fingered reporters are stealing items from air force one. hey,, leave me out of this, says one man. [laughter] remember him? masturbator. [laughter] a new study finds that 40 sentiment of adults we'll go days without face-to-face interaction. i should be so lucky. for me it's 100% phase ii asked.

[laughter] thing that you found the pictures of us, clothes. lizzo announced she's quitting the music business because she's tired of being dragged by everyone in her life and on the internet. is that she plans to spend more time with her french. [laughter] the good news is your doctors is walking away from the music industry will be the most exercise she's had in years. it is intriguing that her announcement to keep a low profile comes just days before a solar eclipse. coincidence? or just a lame. just before the start of on and see to a woman's basketball game this weekend officials discovered that the three-point lines were the same distance on both sides of the court. hands were outraged that the game postpone their fleamarket. [laughter] that's a good joke.

a new survey finds that half of senior congressional staffers are considering quitting their jobs. stop or save the environment is so toxic they can find it quietly into film themselves having anal sex. morgan just looked up. [laughter] economists are cautioning consumers who are upset over higher prices nothing is costing more is a good sign for the economy. plus they add that rising formula prices mean babies are slimmer than ever. [laughter] look of those babies abs. a wall street journal report says that living in iran is more difficult than expected. [laughter] while i could've told you that. on this day in 1889 the first dishwasher was marketed in chicago. it came with two movable arms, a cloth covering and a cheerful demeanor. [laughter]

all right. redbook testing is unfunded call 911. remember last week when we cover the greatest story there ever was or perhaps will ever be? it's time once again for... ♪ ♪ " [laughter] ♪ ♪ >> greg: yes, it was a compass emergency to end all campus emergencies be rendering yet another protest against israel i woman had to change her tampon. so her friends called 911. >> there is a female student next being denied the right to change her tampon that has been in for multiple hours which leads to an increased risk of toxic shock syndrome so -- >> i understand -- >> then you should understand -- >> [ inaudible ] >> what you're not hearing is that if she stand up to use

the restroom to change her tampon they are threatening arrest so it is not an option for. >> ma'am, do you have an emergency? >> yes, ma'am, i do. >> that isn't an emergence -- there is an emergency. >> you big mac you have an emergency not your friend inside? >> i don't remember the time i needed to have an emergency personally to call 911 for help. >> i'm sorry, what? >> i don't remember a time when it has to be a personal emergency for me to call 91 to help mike i am requesting assistance medical care urgent assistance. >> greg: oh man. was over a tampon. but i'm sure for them that type of -- time of the month is every day of the month. i'm happy to send maxi pads to soak up their tears but this is hardly the stuff of nelson mandela number somehow they're cool with bloodshed by my service but an expected visit from and flow has them screaming bloody murder -- but he merely -- murder. you're erection to the original story... >> the people who want to defund the police call the police over a tampon!

but this is not the first time protesters made us think of feminine products. usually they always act like douchebags. [laughter] but she chooses to leave the city's resources and call 911 over a damn tampon. she should have just called me, i know people. i could oppose some strains. [laughter] >> greg: dead rubber/-- right themselves because the processors are jokes themselves. because were major news show covering the important stories we are going to bring you an update their maxim of the students involved arrested and held a press or the next day my check out this chubby chuckle head. >> i was one of the concerned -- students who were arrested last night. just want to -- sure my experiences and compare them to what i experienced last night. again -- 24 -- when he went hours we were denied medical attention can we were denied -- deprived of sleep, water, resources, at 530 coffee in

the morning i got a pat on my back >> shame "shame! >> greg: oh. you get the feeling that

tampon was actually for that guy? [laughter] i mean he did look a little bloated. and, you know, if it is your time of the month, duca maybe don't plan on risking jail? instead try the red roof end. >> no. >> greg: nope. [laughter] but let's recount the facts. according to the reporting they trespassed a in building and saw the car, which staffers who offered to meet with them with the minister duncan refused to leave. some morons how do you think an active -- with a mommy coming to talk you in? getting arrested is the idea. that is the part where you think "we shall overcome," not "we shall overflow." that's not bravery, that's intentional and hope potential employers take note "lookout used at starbucks. now here's a perfect tell from one of the other intrepid freedom fighters in this theater of the absurd.

>> greg: a collective pileof ho. i got news for you you're not thinking of all the a collective thinking is for insects, armies and the view if you -- think about a word document protein shakes and bench presses. but does the soy boy even realize he just admitted that they're all a bunch of minus on a crohn's can think for themselves humic watches engaging in a risk-free hobby that they think makes them relevant? 's a few more privileged were brought from the collective. yesterday at st. patrick's cathedral a group of protesters at least one in a palestinian scar that, disrupted easter mass. >> greg: that's a priest who can plan my pickleball team any day. what better way to honor the

patron saint of the irish then taking the asses of uppity strangers. no the reasons these buffoons can do this is because not only will they have suffered no consequences, they also know how to deal with the actual issues. you have the luxury of distance and endurance with believed popped up by an enabling system they hate they hate. last a check st. patrick's did not that on the west ba bank. but this comes down on -- luxury believes, believes held by white lives with everyday material needs are taken care of. and believe that they should be catered to like their emotional, physical invalids and when they protest they are far removed from whatever because of the data actually embrace. these ego driven dorks could not find gaza on a map of gaza if you show them gaza on a map. so let me address them directly, children, nobody in hamas or even gaga for that matter those who you are or gives have a crap "in fact none of the cd chanted slogans use against american art were ever audit in gaza.

the gardens are not worried about vanderbilt investments because there's no social protest movement in gaza. they hate you too remick and terrorist groups are not big on the first amendment. if you try social protest in a place will by hamas you are probably at october 7th even differently. and another thing hamas is probably not big on, freedoms like women's rights. tried disrupting mosque services in gaza? and producer there are no tampon dispensers in the ladies or the men's rooms either. of course, whatever charges those students will face will likely earn a slap on the risk although as frail as they are that might be fatal. but really the fall here lies with more than just soldiers -- social justice took also realize to become imperial themselves. is our system, we were more this mentions vanderbilt cost about 60 grand villa is right at the top 20 school of those who are already -- our future leaders in just a few years will be running things which is the lender luxury believes enter through the realities that make them possible will threaten every hard work freedom of what -- like

public safety, the border, in neutral media, a legal system to make sure they funny? sure. but maybe not so much. because a lot more at stake here than tampons. periods! >> announcer: periods! >> greg: let's welcome the next guest! he looked like mystically after a car accident. million to norton! as a former miss florida citrus, she's curvy and primitive scurvy, also the more -- morgan ortega! she celebrated easter by hanging with her peeps, new york times best selling author kat timpf! and he's got wait line wrinkles and in any -- [cheering and applause] >> greg: jim, i know you're a compassionate person. you're concerned about today's issues. and i admire that the imagine being the parents of that brat. >> while i don't like to see

those brave warriors reputation's spoiled. he stood up there and i can't even pretend to defend him. it's so funny how merely -- their children lopping as adults using pseudo-therapeutic language, just -- there's no passion behind it, their joiners. they just want to belong -- it like 50 years ago it was one, three -- will and now it's oh were denied water and resources. [laughter] they're not sincere. they're not sincere at all. i mean say what you want to say about the sixties but at least they believe what they were saying. this kind of lopping and i think it's cute. i think we should encourage it. i think watching the kids in the play is adorable. >> greg: that is a perfect analogy because part of me, morgan, says i can't stand these people, but i also love watching it. >> i would just like to apologize to xi jinping an attorney coming his party for everything that i've said over the last ten years,

because you are right. i watch those videos "they hear -- here's a crazy think that we're making fun of them and, you know, to talk -- were -- to change the tampon. next week in the washington post this will turn in to a story where they are talking about how israel is preventing the feminine products from getting to garden women and within two or three weeks, biden will be aired rubbing tampons into gaza because of the story about you just watch. >> greg: i hope so, kat. >> i was just going to say one small thing about vanderbilt, the next day after all this happened i hosted the israeli ambassador on thursday, didn't get any press because -- but vanderbilt is a great university and it was the israeli ambassador the next day. >> greg: . that's nice, kat. thank. >> greg: you joe's any ambassador? i don't. >> think so no. [laughter] i'm just confused a little bit -- is my second time talking with the snowcapped police students not -- it's

not like a special thing about vanderbilt they can't just like rush in and change her tampon, like, a lot of golems -- buildings are like that. most of them -- i don't know where the right to change -- he literally, you can't go in to a subway sandwich shop and you have to, like, by a sandwich. so i don't know were that came from to actually call the police. i can't change my tampon here okay there's a lot of places i can't change my tampon. and that's just part of life. >> greg: that's true. and as part of being a woman. godless woman "all right, write it out -- tyrus, write it out first permit using these protesters will have a great story to tell their children or will they never get laid and how children? >> they're not going to get laid but the problem will be built triggers my bigotry before they finish. [laughter] >> o. god! "911?" "she made my happy place weird." [laughter]

"send help now." you know, what bothers me is, if we were protesting, and, greg needed to change his tampon, we would form a protective circle, like, muskox. >> greg: yes. >> facing our enemy where greg can do the big switch. >> greg: yes. >> mommy there's been about her injuries earlier, i ate my already, obviously, i would have given him is a block and you could put it in there and then we can continue on. see i have never use a tampon other then the time i had a bloody nose when i was a kid and my mom popped in there and put it out. not a drop i had a white t-shirt on, not a drop. phenomenal. there's other uses for them. >> greg: exactly. >> other than what they're supposed to be used for. but the point is whichever enough to figure out a way to get greg to switch it out so he won't get the toxic shock syndrome. they can figure that out -- to the point he complained

about -- if you're going to protest, plan for the day. you know? back, it up, maybe some water. >> greg: snacks. >> tampons and pads. you never know the situation. fell as if you go for it out there, everyone will you have just have one. ma'am,, i'm here, girl, what do you need? [laughter] [applause] >> greg: you're going to love this. up next e-card from a stranger. with a view from danger? [cheering and applause] >> announcer: if you're in the area and would like to get to see "diller," click on the link ♪ ♪

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♪ ♪ >> announcer: is the video of the day. [ singing ] [cheering and applause] >> greg: if you're beaten and scarred pick a card, and e-card primitive video that he is from a city indicate, san francisco's transportation system a.k.a. bart, i took that everyday, is promoting bystander intervention cards to help writers report grasp -- harassment and feel safe on public transit. roulette casket. >> hello where two college students who are barth's writers and safety is reported to us so we're going to go ask for the bystander intervention card. >> excuse me would we be able to have some bystander intervention cards, please? >> yeah, sure. hold on. >> thank you so much. this card over here is for when you're being harassed "it says "you got me," you hand it to somebody else and it gives them instructions on

how they can help you. >> if you see be -- you can also give them this "i got you" card which gives them instructions on the back to find the bart police or call someone or more instructions on how to be safe. >> i really appreciate these cards because they gave me a concrete way to deal with an unsafe situation. i'm not very equipped to deal with them on my own. and so these cards give me a sense of community and a sense of support. >> it just gives a very easy way to either help someone or to ask for help without having to do much. you're ability -- everybody has one then they'll just be able to support each other so much better feel safer. >> greg: yeah. as a bonus, if you and your victim card gets punched ten times you receive a free ice cream sundae. [laughter] the cards are also laminated so they can easily be wiped clean of bloodstains and bodily fluids. and on the back it reads "my condolences," which can be

handed to your next of can. bart's officials it's not a perfect solution and warn commuters that if they drop their carts while getting stabbed, they will be charged with littering. [laughter] so morgan, here's a closer look at the cards, and we put them up there? it's pretty amazing. we are doing this because crime and open drug use are up and ridership are known. the thing these cards will make a difference, what say you. i hate this generation so much. it's just ridiculous. here's an idea. if you want to keep people safe, how about funding the police and making the subway -- [cheering and applause] >> just a thought. just. >> greg: a thought that's ridiculous. if you find the police the police might hurt somebody to make these cards will create a sense of community and support. i don't want to punch any anybody. >> yeah... to be honest with you,

there's not enough weed in california for this one. [laughter] so basically, our transportation system in san francisco are really bad soccer games. you are going to yellow card guide is assaulting you? is that what we're doing? card, sir." that carl and i being in tampon. [laughter] like, is not the case. we have to stop blaming the kids. these are grown adults to make these are gen xers that came up with these ideas. i'm trying to think they care so little about these age group that we are saying, you know, you know what you guys should do? next to me getting assaulted? and the person next to you a video -- videotaping you a card. you got me? oh i got you, you look great. [laughter] this is terrible. this -- i don't know unless you had to put something -- some kind -- to distract the attacker? have a great movie public or something -- >> greg: emmerik de rate rate was still, something that is useful, kat, what if

somebody -- if somebody headed you e-card. keep it moving. [laughter] if somebody is -- that's just how it is. i don't think anybody will have any use for this except for may be man will use it to try to pick a woman. >> greg: right. >> they'll be like whoa oh i got you," or "do you need help we go when it is time to pick. >> them up this is the worst -- worst idea -- a man no longer has to yell -- he just hand you a card, "i got you?" and why you're terrorized he goes "you got me rico that's what that is. >> greg: this could be an answer for perverts like you. >> maybe -- just look. [laughter] >> greg: they're not having it tonight, and jim. >> hairtrigger.

>> this is a culture that -- everyone is twitter and everything is written and everything is just kind of stare straight ahead would drool spilling on the corner of her most primitive listing -- it's "i'll do it in writing." is absolute -- any matter how different bernard gets life would have been incentive again he -- if he put -- pulled out a gun -- card that says "go fish." or the cops don't arrest people be just hand you a card, go to jail, do not collect -- is just an idiot -- it kind of dystopian. it's really creepy that anybody thinking when actually go yet this is an idea that will help somebody when they're being assaulted or attacked. >> greg: when you say dystopian, that is the description that -- of that video because of the music that was, like, very almost, like, plea date music. and their "ghost those kids would not last in the subway. >> i thought it was fake.

i'm -- this is a great parity of an absolutely asinine program and then when they finished i was, like, oh, they meant every word of that. i thought it was a sarcastic parity. >> greg: yes. and the problem with the car -- it only in english? >> i was just thinking about that. >> shame. >> greg: shame! shame! [applause] shame on you for lapping me yelling "shame x. close i think i discovered anyway to get the applause. shouting "shame! ". [applause] >> is the only way i can finish when i have sects. [laughter] >> "shame expo. >> greg: excellence. up next, how staffers have their fill?

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>> announcer: "a story in five words." ♪ ♪ [applause] >> greg: goodbye congressional staffers are quitting. pirates according to an you capitol hill survey my favorite kind by the way, nearly half of those senior aides believe -- or will want to quit because of the toxic partisan environment. does this bother you? >> yeah. because it doesn't make any sense. if you're a senior staffer you're only working for one person so it's not really partisan. it's just -- everyone is too afraid to say they don't like the boss anymore. everyone hates them. is to be okay what was albom the all about? now you hate your -- you have to set -- i'm about to quit.

but you didn't quit. so shut up. and go to work like the rest of us. they say all the stuff that so partisan, it's so hard, you're collecting the check and chances are the guy you are working for is 30 years passed his prime so you get to vote, you get to play leader "i mean right now we have a senior sapling president so i mean it's never been a better time to be a senior staffer. >> sean: before,, what you think? is a downside to this? i don't think there's a downside. >> regular some of these people might have thought that they could get an politics to make it might make a difference. >> greg: yes. >> i don't think that happened anymore. i feel like -- we want all these hearings it's just all, like, people's showboating around trying to get a viral clip. i think all politicians do all the long is tweet at each other. >> greg: it's true. >> is a time to go viral, get the attention -- nobody really wants to solve problems anymore and they'd rather explain the problems

for their own gain so i feel like if you're somebody that somehow didn't know this before you enter politics, you are probably feeling very aggressively disillusioned. >> that's true. i want to go back to you, jim. >> thank you, greg. >> greg: could you imagine working for the government at this point? with everything we've learned? i feel like -- i feel like trump broke a lot of things, i feel like he wrote the government. >> i couldn't imagine myself working for the government. i mean, confidence, i like parker's. [laughter] but i think one of the things that he said was that the amount of toxicity of people just saying awful things to each other all day edge -- -- everybody is just 100% bent on breaking the other person. again there is no working together, there's no helix -- it's just a hateful disgusting environment, people that want to get out -- can you imagine being a nancy pelosi for 20 years or any of them? twenty years? >> greg: you know what's funny, when i see the all

politicians i can smell them. you ever -- when you're watching -- you go i can smell gerald nadler, i can smell -- i can smell him. that's the only one i can come up with. and nancy. >> they smell like that in an effort in. >> greg: the second and effort in. i haven't thought of visiting in ages. >> why would you, you're not a parent. >> greg: that's true. >> diaper rash, what the he hell. >> greg: i did have an accident one day. i did. >> you what? >> greg: i bought it for us -- an accident one day, i thought it was for something else. let's just say it -- morgan, it's also in dc, the worst -- probably one of the worst cities in the country, so you go there, you can't afford to live there, your -- you work for basically what's called a corrupt company in dc. you were in dc? >> i did. well on the hell they actually get paid quite well. so the chief of staff makes most -- more than 100 -- that

you policy guys are -- or woman to make 160 grand a year, you also get their student loans paid off and when nancy pelosi was in control of the house drink covid she tried to actually sneak in a provision that they would get free times inscriptions. >> greg: that's right! >> you remember that. >> greg: yes. >> so it is ideal -- i i think $170,000 to deal with it is national congress, that's a lot of money. i don't know that i'm getting a lot of tears for them. >> greg: i think this might be the solution to tricking the government is just making the government inhospitable, right? go get a better job, do something else. it will help us out. you could do this -- you could do the government part-time. how they used to do it. >> but they are doing a part-time. there's likely% of the federal workforce in dc shows up to work every day. they are doing it part-time. >> greg: you can also -- >> the great purge of working for, like, to correspond or something like that, you know, none of it, it's all on record, everything is

traceable so there's not a great part anymore. >> greg: you can't even drive off a bridge anymore. [laughter] that's what you mean. >> yes. >> greg: it's true! i and it under some burner knows. [laughter] >> at a boy, greg. >> greg: shame! [cheering and applause] shead dans all over the place with a diaper and on her fa face. [cheering and applause] >> announcer: if you will be then your area and would like to get to see "diller." go to foxnews.com/gutfeld and click on the link to join our studio audience your mark ear sk. and in psoriatic arthritis, can mean less joint pain, and help stop further joint damage. serious allergic reactions, severe skin reactions that look like eczema, and increased risk of infections some fatal have occurred. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine or plan to

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♪ ♪ >> announcer: we've got another clip of you. it's video of the day part two. ♪ [cheering and applause]

>> greg: that is the most seductive intro. our second video today comes from taylor lorenz -- washington post who infamously dock the lives of tiktok account. no there she is -- here she is anyway dancing the canadian at the porn awards in a covid-19 mask. rowlett... ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> greg: i give her credit for wearing the mask, or stability can be contagious mike ancaster not aware, porn hub is a hard-core pornographic website that millions of men but cannot know about. [laughter] kat, i have no problem about her being at the porn awards, who gives a damn, i don't care for my she's wearing a mask. that sending a positive or

negative message? >> oh man "look, if you want to wear a mask, go ahead. i just find it interesting that she doesn't seem to be worried about or need to worry about people being around her anyway. [laughter] [ cheering ] she's dancing completely by herself and then she goes up to someone else. if i see someone with a mask on usually i must -- they must be really sick. but if that is what makes you happy, you want to wear your mask, that's. but if you were the whole time? i really wonder if you are the hole. >> greg: time she wears it wherever she goes including a place where there are adult films -- from start which i think is deeply offensive to the adult them starts. they're already objectified enough, just pieces of meat, jim. you often pay women to put on mask and that's in front of you. >> and the anymore to put one on myself. [laughter] >> greg: have you ever been to these awards? i mean this is new porn hub --

>> not the point of -- first of all i don't wear a mask, i wear a ball gag "i hosted the porn awards twice. i hosted it in january of '04 and i think in '07 they were really, really marvelous experiences. much bigger than they are n now. now it's all online stuff. >> everybody is dead. >> that would be it. a lot of people are dead. but porn needs to back -- i've been watching it since i was five, i'm fine. [laughter] >> greg: oh, my god. morgan, should she be wearing a hazmat suit? [laughter] >> it is curious what it's like to go to the porn hub conference and be the only person who doesn't get laid. [laughter] i mean -- >> i can help you, i can tell you. >> there's a lot of hordes of the porn hub conference but she's the only attention work and that's for sure. >> greg: you know what's funny? it kind of funny because she -- >> that was good.

[applause] >> greg: shame! she still has less of a moral compass than photographers. >> i'm sorry, man, but if you're wearing a mask at a, ther [bleep] you should be more worried about catching, you know what i'm saying? you put the master morels because you might be a little safer. but then again as kat could -- pointed out, she couldn't give it away. she was already at a porn party standing with sequins on and nobody cares. as a geico he would not dance payment at some point summary would be like, tyrus, you know what? you need to go. [laughter] you're just -- is nothing now. everyone is pointing at you. sheet -- maybe she was triggered. maybe her dancing was -- >> greg: you know -- went -- when somebody put on a mask with her dancing, it doesn't look like she's dancing, it looks like she's prowling. she is, like, prowling around. >> maybe she was trying to show them some new characters

she was working on? >> greg: i don't know. >> the masked dancer. >> greg: yes. and all you see, kat, or her crazy eyes. [laughter] >> look maybe that's one for her. >> greg: yes. maybe it is! maybe it is. and who am i to deny somebody else's fun. i think that's the problem, greg, nobody likes her. we can't even make jokes about her because she's going to come e-mail you or find you on twitter and then you're going to talk about it with a team of scientists. let her dance parcel of the porn party and then rest of us move on. >> greg: yes. [applause] >> greg: perhaps billie eilish had it correct the entire time. makes you think, doesn't it? >> i hosted twice and i presented an award twice and i did not get laid at all. [laughter] i think i was around 8000 porn stars and i struck out,

i just went back to my room and watch them on my laptop. [laughter] >> greg: up next, reporters think it's fun to steal from air force one. [applause] should feel free. i know... i was talking about the dogs. they need their lawn back fast and you need scotts turf builder rapid grass. it's revolutionary mix of seed and fertilizer that grows grass 2 times faster than just seed alone. giving you a stronger lawn. release the hounds! smell that freedom, eh? i smell it! i'm still talking to the dogs. get scotts turf builder rapid grass today, it's guaranteed. feed your lawn. feed it.

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>> announcer: want to see good -- "gutfeld!" live in new york

♪ ♪ >> announcer: "five more words." [applause] >> greg: five more words. reporter loot air force one. morgan, apparently what host reporters have been stealing stuff from air force one okay plates and glassware capitol cases as souvenirs. you've written air force one, correct? used the -- did you steal. i don't know -- okay i think a lot of the m&ms and the candy, i did not steal a plate. i did see smack i won't say this person's name, somebody recently fired from nbc news stole a pillow in front of me off of air force one. i thought i was pretty palsy. i wish i had done that's. again, will,. >> greg: -- she got fired for nbc. sure there for, like, six minutes. >> rhonda mcdaniels -- >> she had a fastest. >> greg: job who. oh rhonda mcdaniels. >> i thought it was funny.

it's fine. i've taken a little champagne -- this all stuff you're allowed to. >> have remember -- remind me to never steal in front of morgan. [laughter] [cheering and applause] >> greg: tyrus, it's hard to resist i mean, it's not everyday you see the presidential seal on an adult diaper. [laughter] >> that is not what this is about. everybody wants to get a piece to say that they were there because they're going to sell them -- [bleep] office, i would be covering everything in that white house to prove -- this is going to be worth so much money, this do this crazy, all this double come out everybody one-stop. i could probably go because he will remember, "can file a claim this for me -- >> greg: where do they think they are, jim, walgreens. i mean it's hard. >> greg: not to steal yes! you must have taken mementos. >> of taken mementos from continental, if they can then

from united, i've taken them from u.s. air. every airline that's no longer around except united and yes, i was on air force one -- if i was on air force one, i was still everything, it's fun, of stolen girls hearts. you just kind of fun to take -- [laughter] >> greg: i once took indoor from boeing. [laughter] >> greg: i thought that drug. >> would've died there was a great joke after my unfunny little thing that -- that was it would leave that somebody said something other than me. [laughter] >> greg: kat, you don't strike me as somebody who was still something. >> know what does it even count as stealing if you can walk up with a pillow and nobody says anything to you? you can't do that at my apartment. [laughter] my security is a lot less. like, if somebody tried to leave my apartment when -- what you think you're doing? >> greg: why would you take it hello. because it had the presidential seal on it.

>> greg: it just kind of creepy. >> i don't want to fly on air force one anyways but maybe they give you a cool pair of wings with the presidential seal on it? something cool when you get on their? oh, no, pens because you might hurt himself, never o one. >> greg: well with hunter you get a seal river a crack pipe -- on a. >> crack pipe they have playing cards and everything ". >> greg: you know, and it's all the same crap. who cares, right? who cares? shame! shame! [cheering and applause] >> greg: i love this audience. [laughter] they hate our jokes but they love to shame! [cheering and applause] >> greg: all right. don't go i went -- don't go away, will be right back. [cheering and applause]

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