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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  April 11, 2024 7:00pm-8:00pm PDT

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>> sean: unfortunately that is all the time we have left this evening thank you for being with us in making the show possible please set your dvr so you never missed an episode of hannity in the meantime greg got filled is standing by with a great show to put a smile e onour face have a great night >> greg: look at you put your
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pants back on happy thursday everyone let's do some jokes or we call them jokes, during a state dinner on wednesday the japanese prime minister quoted star trek to tell white houseguests he hopes japan and the u.s. would boldly go where no one has gone before which biden replied thank you mr sulu but joel agrees you is also boldly going where no one has gone before even behind the plants in the oval office he poops a lot also jill biden invited paul simon to perform at the dinner as he is one of her favourite artist, she has a lot in common with simon he also had a less valuable partner. >> greg: you guys don't know
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simon and garfunkel? why mike's playing this to you? while arriving at the white house for the state dinner hillary clinton paused briefly to admire a portrait of herself hanging on the wall make since she loves to admire things she has hung. >> i don't get that. >> jeffrey epstein. >> oh. >> greg: meanwhile bill clinton paused to point out a portrait that he had hung on the wall all right let's do some news o.j. simpson died today. >> yeah,, oh. >> greg: losing his fight to prostate cancer if only he had a knife. fans who wished to join the funeral procession advised to join a slow-moving white bronco. in lieu of flowers the family asked that no one mention he murdered two people.
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a north carolina man arrested after he stripped naked in the women's locker room of a planet fitness the other women in the locker room were so shocked that they immediately lost their actions back in the groove with penis jokes a democratic congresswoman from texas is calling for black americans to be exempt from paying taxes as a form of reparations. >> i like it. >> greg: white americans are responding exactly as you would expect let's do a monologue this is the monologue people a veteran reporter at national public radio went public this week revealing that the place is staffed entirely by registered democrats. i bet he got so frustrated with what he saw.
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>> i got so frustrated with what i saw the lack of different perspectives in our coverage and what i saw was 87 registered democrat on an editorial staff, zero republicans, something has gone wrong if we are really thinking about diversity in our coverage. the response was not like wow, it wasn't like were going to change this or try to address this it was just like how that's weird. >> greg: it is weird, 87 democrats at npr and zero republicans which sounds like npr entire audience. but 87 to zero talk about lopsided that is like the time i played ping-pong against stephen hawking. >> you should have one. >> greg: but should you be surprised by this? what is he going to tell us
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next? that i have great abs? come on we all know that the point is when you overtly politicize something that is supposed to be unbiased you don't just lose half your potential listeners you create a lock step atmosphere where any deviation from the messages met with hostility and then you lose all credibility and people tune out, that includes a liberal audience that craves approval the way i crave be arthur erotica npr probably funded meaning we help pay for this crap it has to be the biggest waste of public funds since kamala harris salary and that's a woman who struggles to spell npr but it epitomizes the broken trust between us and our government to the deranged effort to try to stop trump has so deformed and weapon eyes that are institutions it's like a hunchback with nunchucks, that's alright, why is it that everything with three letters cannot be trusted? the fbi, cia, cnn, abc, cbs,
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nbc, npr, cat even if you hate orange godzilla after russian collusion the hunter cover up the laptop letter all of the media the average person has more faith in trump because he says the quiet part out loud unlike in pr whose hosts whisper lies like the gasping goblet himself, speaking of a new poll states that only 39 percent of americans trusted that biden is competent much less continents that pull was taken before biden was spoonfed by univision. >> what in your view constitutes a primary threat to freedom and moxie at home. >> donald trump seriously. >> greg: what is the spanish word for mommy? i keep waiting for him to tip over mid-interview like a fainting goat.
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>> greg: this is why all the interviews of the president are now required to know cpr, this reporter he's pretty brave, let me be the first to say he did not hang himself using an npr tote bag but listing many instances where accurate stories that may have helped trump were held back like brian kill me to the fourth grade, for instance he recounts how the npr main source on russian collusion was adam schiff which is like getting your news on gaza from her she had to leave, shift kept leading to evidence black underbite not a father's day picnic it never showed up and win the report debunked all of it npr acted like joy behar after pooping, just buried it and moved on. >> to find anything that we could to harm him and i think we latched onto was russian collusion which was just rumours
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based on pretty shoddy documents for evidence and we really launched onto adam schiff he was like our muse to the trump collusion story and then the molar report came out and no collusion and i think we sort of the story disappeared. >> greg: that's a surprise were relying on shift for truth that's like having sheila and jackson lee plan a moon landing even admitting that covid probably started in a wuhan lab but since npr thought it racist they wouldn't reported, if it doesn't fit the narrative it is gone, this is coming from government on covid but, hey, no big it only took millions of lives but who is counting and be in pr executive editor and her team rejected the assessment saying we believe that in collusion among our staff with our sourcing and in our overall coverage is critical to telling the ones to stories, the memo
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said, the what me translate that screw do we not changing a thing meanwhile in the real world npr's as popular with people of colour as a for better flag coos he only 6 percent of their audience is black, 7 percent hispanic, numbers that reflect less than half of those populations, meeting all of this talk about diversity is just that, talked, but it scores with their corporate demographic of liberals so milky white they cause lactose intolerance apparently their definition of inclusion does not include reality so as him hearing became the teensy propaganda army lost its audience staff are laid-off listeners who use their programs did treat insomnia switch to medicine but what flourished der a flooding the staff a true staph infection and with that woke -ism sprouted like a jerry nadler does chins, still no republicans but we have the
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marginalized genders and intersex people of colour mentorshship program, whatever that is i'm not letting it near my anus but eventually unfettered bias led to broken trust you get better reporting from a crazy guy yelling on the street corner and unlike in pr he only asks for money once let's welcome tonight's guests she still owes the world and apology for giving us tom arnold comic legend roseanne barr, this guy also just for men, communion jeff dein battalion for what the hell did she just say coast of outnumbered and he uses barbells
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for cufflinks the new york times best selling author and interview a world champion tyrus roseanne this is crazy. >> it is crazy. >> greg: the world is gone mad. >> mad i tell you. >> greg: what are we going to do about it? >> i don't know, we need to take over npr and get some real news on there maybe. >> greg: i don't know if they have 89 democrats and no republicans does that surprise you? >> it makes me mad because they take all our tax dollars to tell us half the country is horrible. >> greg: exactly it's like were masochists were paying a dominatrix to be this up. >> it's like that. >> greg: have you ever done that? >> been a dominatrix? >> greg: yes. >> no but i was a housewife and it's kinda like that kind of the same right ladies?
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>> greg: you'd like to be jeff wouldn't you. >> beat him? >> i feel bad for men because a lot of men these days it's coming out, a lot of women beating their husbands and boyfriends asked it's not good. >> greg: being a man you can't admit it because it's considered like emasculating. >> i asked i go out to the clubs how many men here are getting their ass beat by women and they just it's shocking i'm not kidding it's terrible. >> greg: i know when you're serious, jeff what do you make up in pr, are you surprised? is this groundbreaking earth shattering news to you? >> with a big problem npr has is all of these democrats identifying as journalists, that's the problem have you read it? it's terrible there's nothing i tried to give it a fair take a fair shot it's terrible i also read in pr has all democrat and
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zero republicans and they said were working on getting those numbers higher so that's probably what's going to happen it npr nothing. >> greg: nothing will happen it will what do you have to say about this interesting thing? it's kind of, in pr is a small part of the media landscape but it encapsulates everything about the media landscape, we are the outliers, we are the weirdos, you are freak. >> it has a disproportionate, kind of like a spotlight or searchlight aware it is tiny but it has been considered and construed as a mighty for a very long time and i think its origins, noble in the beginning it really did have a quarter conservative listenership over a quarter of independence and freethinkers and it was really sort of an even distribution representative of the united states and then what happens? trump and all of a sudden now to
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that point you mentioned how they use schiff as their guiding light throughout the russia conspiracy theory and everything , keep in mind they interviewed him over 25 times and that my point about the searchlight that became what was amplified and rippled throughout mainstream media but schiff was censored by the house for his comments one of just 25 congressmen throughout history to be censored and yet those demonstrated lies or what was amplified throughout the globe to the tune of 180 million of our tax dollars and now it has totally silenced conservatism and yet it still exists in the memory from everyone as being this noble place but the reality is that as we totally eclipsed them with viewership and listenership that is just, the truth needs to come to light which is us. >> greg: you would be a great sign language interpreter. >> yes, i could learn sign language.
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>> greg: did you know tyrus there is, they justify this with this bias with this greater mission to defeat hitler to point though. >> will hold on every group that is one-sided always justifies their argument, weights of premises didn't say well we really feel bad about what were doing we'd love to get the brothers in here, it's not us it's just not enough food to go around for the negroes, it's not that at all, what they did was and what's funny is what nationalists have more members then the nra does because they allow like me or 50-cent we can come into the meetings because we get accused of being independent or called names and were welcome but apparently we can't write a sentence so it is goes back to the whole thing where they use the polite racism because eei not designed to
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bring in it was designed to eradicate the conservative voice it rid of white men because that's a problem and bring their people in and of course they just say were bringing in people they're not qualified and at the end of the day what we found with hollywood when you make the woke movies and all that stuff it sounds great when you put it on paper but no one buys it, let them drown they can't swim they drown no lifejackets it's garbage you cares it's all part of the same thing i got my dishes at that weird and talk about oj more but i guess not, if it wasn't for him we wouldn't have to wait for our new cycles, opinion tv shows, chloe. >> greg: chloe. >> that led to partisanship and the death of journalism because everything became opinion after that and you look at how things changed after that if they didn't go your way the other
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side was wrong he was acquitted and those who didn't believe it because they were on the jury or whatever and he got off because he was black and then i don't like him and that was the first of the division and it's blown its way to where it is now we all have jobs as a result of it because 24-hour news cycle has to happen and opinion shows and we get to make fun of them which is nice for us but that's what changed in this country it change the way we look and journalism died there protecting us from the end of the world. >> greg: we have to get onto more crap it's going to be awesome, why hamas eight down with gay when barbara switched to turbotax... i broke four generations of family tradition... ma, i want to make perfume! ♪ so i made barbara's new side gig count by guaranteeing her maximum refund.
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>> greg: it's homophobic these days to point out that hamas hates gays a group of liberal professors and aren't they all recently claimed that pointing out hamas atrocious record on gay rights is in and of itself homophobic violence granted it was too hard to hear this since they were all talking out of their ass but they said this mind-boggling [ bleep ] during a discussion at rutgers university called palestine is a feminist and queer and anti- imperialist abolition struggle, i bet that is news to palestinians who are not clamouring for will and grace reruns on al jazeera, not even clamouring for that here. >> i have been at protests where i've been told don't you know what hamas would do to write? and if you were in palestine and
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this is, we have to start naming this is homophobic, you can't rehearse violence to queer people than the why don't you know that you would be taken and in excruciating detail homophobic its violence. >> greg: let me get this straight i mean sorry gay if you say in actual fact that barbaric hamas terrorists brutally kill palestinians that makes you homophobic? that makes you guilty of homophobic violence? that's like saying gaining weight is fat shaming, these douchebags with doctors say you're homophobic for calling out homophobia but should we really be all that surprised by this idiocy, it perfectly reflects the protest we see daily what they are actually revealing as their own hypocrisy they will call christian bakers
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hand-tied gay for not baking a wedding cake for lesbians but give murderers and rapists a pass because they're in the same camp that hates jews, i can clearly say that with 100 percent confidence my gardener and butler and the pool boy and dog walker antonio clipper and driver would all be better off in lovely speedo friendly israel than that hamas infested [ bleep ] next-door. >> greg: may be i should stop there while i'm winning. >> for what out, to feel good? >> greg: jeff is this incredible that the left and have it both ways? if you are say something bad about gays you're homophobic and if you defend gays are also homophobic. >> this is why people are leaving the left and also why people feel like they're going insane because you can't just make an observation about a thing anymore without being
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labelled a bunch of names just for honest person now people will say you shouldn't work anymore, it's absolutely fostering like that's a guiding address and they say what'd you say that's not a guy under like i'm pretty sure that the guy don't know what to say, you say that the prostitute in there like that's only fans girl and her uncle came sorry everything is just that the commonest that's not a communist everything is weird labels. >> greg: and they create the words and so you don't use the real words emily they came up with this word pink washing can you define what pink washing is? you don't have to pink washing is like whitewashing except for days that means you say nice thing about gays to cover up what you really mean. >> i thought it was when you left weitzen your dryers with the reds now have a pink shirt.
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>> greg: i thought it was something i did before i went to the mustang ranch. >> here we go. >> i honestly felt like when i read this article and heard about this and listening to them that i needed a translation, i didn't understand most of the [ bleep ] they were saying not because i was, every it was so confusing to me in the words so made up and if this is not the number 1 biggest reason and illustration why we should not forgive student lone debt, this is the [ bleep ] that comes out of. >> that's good. >> this higher degree total other. >> greg: the lady with the crazy hands is right. >> is it really that. >> yes. >> i'm sorry jeff. >> your first name that's not good.
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>> maybe lay off the coffee just a bit you can get in trouble. >> i won't move. >> impossible, listen we just watch this this is what happens when you don't have a difference of opinion in your world you can be an idiot because you're surrounded buy other idiot so by their thinking i walked to the bathroom notice there's a bomb in there this is a joke everyone she'll end it says 15 seconds to get out before it blows and i say because money you get out and they say how dare you talk about explosive bombs knowing, and you what all discover my car and be right back you know if it's a horror movie and they say don't going to just go in there, they know what they're saying but it's an echo chamber. [ simultaneous talking ] >> greg: they say what you
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they know nevermind. >> greg: no. >> no america you can be the safest jack asked and other jackass to come be with you you can just sit around and talk about stuff this is what single guys do on wednesday night at chili's at the bar trying to justify why there alone on wednesday and they make up crazy stories like you have not with a woman as a choice i'm focused on my career and they'd been at chili's for 14 hours. >> greg: i love chili's. >> and the group misses you when you coming back i have to hold it down myself that's ridiculous >> greg: is it not more evidence that women are worse to women without misogyny, you saw women they're basically saying will that's homophobia what is it with women? >> i think that two, women have lost their minds, women have
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lost their minds and especially that lesbians like her in my right really fat bitter lesbians my sister is a big fat lesbian and her partner is a big fat lesbian and they live up in the county where it's wall-to-wall big fat bitter shorthaired lesbians with big [ bleep ] and they're just bitter for some reason i don't know. >> greg: i want to go on record as saying i love big fat lesbians. >> i'm wearing a big fat lesbian flannel shirt i'm in. >> just to stay need to chill up a bit. >> they can come to chili's. >> greg: big fat lesbian night at chili's we have to move on but i think we learn something we learned no nevermind i should
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shut up, up next undecided voters slam old joe and say he has to go
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>> greg: msnbc provides our video the day with the morning show aired a clip of undecided voters worry about the economy roll it is. >> the undecided voters also asked how they think president biden is doing on the economy, take a listen. >> i think he's been absolutely disastrous for the economy. >> i agree. >> raise your hand if you think president terms policies on the economy would be better for your family personally, raise her hand, okay that's everybody.
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>> greg: she just said that is not good, i bet joe used to hearing that every morning jeff i have to give credit to msnbc for running that but at the same time i don't think they expected it. >> they're checking the network saying wait a minute because of that was on box would be like well they just cast people or whatever but they're saying this is not what we thought they would do on live television, it was very, i was very optimistic watching as it made me very happy but if you watch later in the program they interview a panel of people and they interviewed dead voters they said that although biden so it will even out. >> greg: when you saw that all their hands up does that make you feel hopeful about november that if you think about the border in the economy there's no way anyone could vote for joe biden. >> that's what they have to import these voters from
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elsewhere because no americans are going to vote for him and it's sad because you have 81 million votes and just overnight it sinks to 30 percent approval it's shocking to biggest winner in america's history 81 million votes you know what i mean? it's almost unbelievable, almost unbelievable. >> that was very well done this is a hard night for me. >> greg: that video was done by that guy not even in bc tape. >> i went down the rabbit oaks i had to watch the whole thing i knew there was no way that they wouldn't let this go down and when micah started to do was question the validity of the panel, how did you vent them, how do we know these are real
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independence, are these not set up, she was trying to discredit them ahead of time because they are alive and they can't change it so what they did was they kept pushing the what do they like about biden? they said he think he's nice they said they were in trouble he would help them which i mean unless you're in trouble right in front of him when it goes down his neck and remember it so you can be like helping he's not going to know it's going on but they go out of their way to discredit everyone of those people up there and then she makes the guy explain even did this explained to me how you got all this together what was the process and the guy was like well we researched and she's like that was it clearly discredited they're not interested in facts because it she's a real journalist it be a follow-up question like wow how is the biggest issue was it food or jobs, but know these people work comp plans, just like by
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the time we leave the show tonight pretty sure oj's murder will be connected to president trump. >> greg: did you see her safe amazing actually moved that's hard. >> she looked like she was really scared like her these real working people. >> greg: how did they get in here what is that smell somebody working? tag i probably lifted something this morning. >> there will be hit pieces on everybody on there tomorrow morning. >> greg: last word to use. >> i know how it normally high bring joy to everyone however, the operators united way that operates at 200 plus call centres the economic help lines of the country they are the ones alerting the baby formula shortage and families defaulting on the subprime mortgages
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they're the ones that protect the economic future they see it before villanelles they have totally sounded the alarm that he vast swath of americans, 36 million households right now, 36 million americans are feeling basically at the poverty line because it is so far from the poverty line that the admin station has drawn they are not reporting it or acknowledging it and these are families that are employed they have assets but they're struggling to make ends meet and they call these help lines and all of the millions resources touted by this demonstration they can't refer them because they make too much they're ineligible they say we refer them to food pantries and religious organizations that don't have an income limit but the reality is that 29 percent of american households are struggling and this administration refuses again to see it to her say it's because they say you can't possibly be struggling you make too much but win eggs cost ten dollars and bread costs 20 that is struggling so this administration needs to get
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their act together and the apologist media also war in november it will be maybe don't get it together so that trump can turn it around. >> greg: thank you, emily, for that,. >> the one positive side is it will be harder for people to be fat because drive-through is like $50 so that's the silver lining in the sandwich she's making is each. >> greg: coming up strippers want to keep their ones for shaking their bones like here. and here. not so much here. farxiga reduces the risk of kidney failure which can lead to dialysis. ♪ far-xi-ga ♪ ♪ farxiga can cause serious side effects, including ketoacidosis that may be fatal,
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ego, the number one rated brand in cordless outdoor power brings you the select cut mower. customize the cut with three interchangeable blades. it cuts for over an hour on a single charge. ego - exclusively at lowe's, ace and ego authorized dealers. >> greg: they shake their booty but won't share their loot the two alabama strippers suing their employees for what they
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claim was a socialist tip sharing system saying the owner forced dancers to share tips with the rest of the staff as part of an illegal tipping pool i haven't seen strippers this mad since i tried to buy a lap dance tyrus. >> of course he went to me. >> just a curious i'm always on the side of strippers. >> will i am against them, it's ridiculous. >> greg: why should they be. >> this is something that if it was a restaurant these waitresses these managers these owners were going to pool the tips they take 50 percent they spread the rest out and that's road there strippers they shouldn't have to spread, but this is a legit thing that happens and it's not fair especially when you have like night shift working and dayshift comes in and they have to break
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bread that's not fair like i didn't donate i donate specifically to see a certain girl, woman, get her education and become a dental hygienist that she dreamed to be and that money being pulled away from her to give to some guy in the back that's not fair. >> that guy in the back did not grind against me he does not get $20. >> he didn't make me feel loved and scene. >> they didn't tell me i'm special. >> i think it's terrible another failure of socialism. >> exactly this is the problem, this is the practical consequence of biden america actually maybe i'll blame barack if that is his real name emily your lawyer do they have a cases. >> yes, and i want to refer you back to the nfl cheerleader labour lawsuits that were sort of based on the same premise which was that they were categorized a certain way that benefited the employer and made
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it so they didn't have to pay them very much of your independent contractor or seasonal employee or xyz they don't have to pay you in accordance with labour laws and also the law and example the ninth circuit is also it led to this because it in court -- encompasses typically the back and the bottom line is these poor women yes absolutely they should not still be paying a cut to the camp. >> that's right kip the tenth or we don't stripped, let's get that going. >> i will protest with these women. >> greg: jeff i assume you understood every thing she said character respond. >> i will not respond to emily but as far as the story goes i was a bit confused at first have never heard of this strip club thing. >> i was as shocked as you were. >> i looked into it i looked around the internet and oh, my god women dancing naked for money have you heard about this greg it? >> it's shocking, shocking.
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>> in the spirit of research for the show i went and made a few stops and after my research at about six or seven places i think this girl, what is her name, lavender? she has earned those tips and i think she should keep them to pool makes no sense in any circumstance whether that starbucks or any thing stop know i gave it to that person for their service that's how it works. >> a man i think we solved this besides a tip pool sounds kind of gross, do you want to join me at the tip pool? i guess they haven't had a brisk, up next, that's a classic game destined for movie fame
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>> 5 words now monopoly is a movie. margot robbie is going to
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produce a live-action movie based on the iconic boardgame monopoly. not a lot of details but exec says it provides an incredible platform for storytelling opportunities. how do you think they're going to change it? are they going to make it anticapitalism? will no 1 go to jail? >> just like how scrabble recently redid their game so they don't -- everyone's happy. movies are now -- if something good happens they are like do that 100 million times. it will ruin the [ bleep ] out of making the barbie movie because they are just going to ruin it. >> i'm trying to thank of a boardgame made into a movie. >> that volcano 1. >> mouse trap. >> operation. >> candyland. that sounds perverted. roseann, they will probably make
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mr moneybags or whatever his name is trans. >> i was thinking they do the updated version of monopoly. they could use it in this movie would be the epstein version. >> have a little island that you go to. >> where he is running the federal reserve and all the banks and everything. just like in real life. >> i like that. >> just don't land on the hillary clinton foundation and your good. >> i wonder if they will touch on squatting. what if somebody is squatting. >> this movie is never getting finished. they will start this movie but it will never get finished. >> that's right. >> they are doing a monopoly movie it will start where all the bells and whistles and be on the table. there's no ending insight. eventually your mom comes in and says... i'm picking it up and you're holding onto your fake money because you want to win anyone
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when at monopoly? >> nobody does. >> this better be a great mystery. speed >> i think oppenheimer was never ending. >> my grandpa love that game. they are going to ruin it, that's the whole joke. they will ruin this movie for sure. they will get rid of oriental avenue i will tell you that. [ laughter ] >> i heard if they do make a movie, elizabeth playing the battleship. margot robbie will play the community chest. >> we have to move on. that was fun though. we will be right back.
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>> tech: cracked windshield? schedule with safelite, and we'll come to you to fix it. >> tech vo: this customer was enjoying her morning walk. we texted her when we were on our way. and she could track us and see exactly when we'd arrive. >> woman: i have a few more minutes. let's go! >> tech vo: we came to her with service that fit her schedule. >> woman: you must be pascal. >> tech: nice to meet you. >> tech vo: we got right to work, with a replacement she could trust. we come to you for free! schedule now for free mobile service at safelite.com. >> singers: ♪ safelite repair, safelite replace. ♪
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♪ no. ♪ -no. -nuh-uh. ♪ yeah. oh. yes. ♪ oh yeah. yes. isn't this great? yeeaahhhh!! ♪
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yeah, i could do a cartwheel in here. oh hey! would you like to join us? no. we would love to join you. ♪
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>> out of time. thank you roseann. [ inaudible ] >> trace: good evening i'm trace gallagher life in los angeles just a few blocks ease from where nicole brown simpson and ron goldman were brutally murdered 30 years ago are just a few blocks west of where 95 million people watched a white ford bronco make its way slowly

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