my new special outlaws and lawmen it follows the roof justice of wild bill hitchcock take a look. >> omega. >> i'm satisfied we can have more dead men today. >> sean: the episode is out tomorrow on fox nation hope you watch. i will be on fox and friends tomorrow morning. set your dvr so you never ever miss an episode of hannity the meantime let not your heart be troubled greg gutfeld is standing by to put a smile on your face have a great night. >> ♪ ♪

[ cheers and applause ] >> greg: all right, alright, i know i know. i allows me as well. happy tuesday everybody let's get started. this week is national brain injury awareness week or as joe calls it every week. jin sake is under fire for saying trump didn't check his watch during the memorial for u.s. soldiers in afghanistan he wasn't checking his watch just surprised at the weird things on his arms called ants.

stormy daniels war bullet proof vest to the trial weird since she's used to taking shots to the face. >> we ain't playing tonight. to make her feel at home he saw the vast and crumpled a 20-dollar bill into it. for years after kemal made vp joe is miss pronouncing her day he said cam instead of moron. you can claim him he is it used to calling heard that help. experts say in order to remember

the name you should say it more repetition is better that's why he's so good at falling. walmart closing all 51 of its health clinic now i have to get my prostate checked at ace hardware don't laugh they carry drain snakes. cnn puff piece claimed megan markel went as a debt chest and became an african princess she's sent me an e-mail for money. rob lobster closing some of its restaurants and the nationalist suicide prevention hotline got calls from the same number. higher testosterone could add

years to a man's life in a related story randy weingarten wants to work until 2085. and lower testarossa room means shorter lifespan yes who has days to live. >> greg: they just voted to defund diversity equity and inclusion programmed and defund 11 their own rhetoric comes back to bite them in their fat asses. $2.3 million in funds will be moved from the boondoggle to campus police and public safety efforts. policing they are refunding the police second that commies.

the only way it would sting more as if they through a few grant for the frat fellows who saved old glory. [ cheers and applause ] and it's great news for students who want a good education and bad news for bluebeard blobs and race hustlers who want easy paychecks. cnn might hire them they were dumb enough to hire gail kane. unnecessary i guess and that is just the next step 1 month after the entire unc system of schools moved to repeal and replace their de i policy. the move comes in the wake of anti-semitic riots on their campuses and other places across the country wears oiled brats culturally appropriated scars from eber -- arabs and tents from lesbians. so did they do this to themselves you think did their

maniacal focus on a race produce an entire generation of bigots who are now unemployable hassles well does joy behar. [ bleeps ] in the woods? same thing happening at the massachusetts institute of technology or mit which is no longer requiring diversity statements from prospective employees. they do still have to be virgins. nerds as mia she is president put it compelled statements and pins on freedom of expression and they don't work well thank you sally were of you been the past 10 years i've known that forever and i'm not smart enough to get there. notes like sally got the message is remember she's the only prez to survive the congressional butt kicking were former honchos

couldn't identify anti-semitism if you grew a tiny mustache and invaded poland so the backlash is growing and revealing more than liz so after a trick dish a trip to victoria's secret. i approve that photo and it's just the racist revenge plot if you look like a people the plat as to people are told to hate we're going up punish you for hate to remind kids you think they know history congress passed a law of the civil rights act of 1964 back when nancy pelosi still it feeling in her face. and if her bay discrimination on the basis of sex and raised in hiring promoting and firing. de i reversed of that and we weren't supposed to notice but

we did that's why as the washington post points out companies are removing all references to de i including calls eli lilly and starbucks and coors and americans just want to be or not a lecture to come with it especially if the broad doing the finger way also wags a penis. whether students know it or not the trend would help them because they won't hire the enemy nobody wants to hire a fresh columbia log read just as you wouldn't throw a live grenade into your own bear acts was nice to know you were hired for your talent experience and skill not because you look like a plus sized model from appellate on add and it's great news is the hiring pool just got deeper and wider then stormy daniels lies.

you cannot worry about hiring a brainwashed marxist who believes 2 plus 2 equals racist. [ cheers and applause ] i can rest. but there are holdouts 1 group they think moving the letters de i around will do the trick they replaced the term with ied. what's that normally stand for improvised explosive device great marketing guys. i guess std was already taken. but it's actually closer to the truth than they realized leave and ied at a school or work and it will blow the whole place up when a society focused on human resources things you solve a

problem by hiding it maybe it's time to rethink human resources new some letters around okay let's do it for you now human resources becomes h user mourns. smattering but sorry guys even if he changed his name from pdd to d pity doesn't change he still going by a person of interest. we hate to tell you society for human resource management ied is like a president with the new colonoscopy bag it's a new container for the same old. [ bleeps ] let's welcome tonight's guests. he will rub his head for bad luck comedian jim norton.

know this isn't a hair club for men infomercial he is the second bald guy on the panel. nicholas a giordano. she's like a sunflower thin colorful and plucked from an abandoned law. kat timpf! and he is sizable recognizable and messing with him is inadvisable. comedian and former nwa world champion tyrus! so jim i like to think of you as an up from your bootstraps kind of guy eating get where you got with any de i just an audit of noxious white guy. >> i'm laying on my back holding my bootstraps currently.

>> greg: and picturing it now and that's not pretty. do you think this is a good trend watching de i go and is there de i in comedy. >> there is in every business but nobody says it like i know i haven't gotten things because i'm a white guy i did a show this weekend and if you asked the 37 people there should be doing doing better than i am. they told me back because i have man boobs. conservatives didn't ruin this, progressives did. most people don't mind and honest trying to balance the scales and make up for things unfair but it became this thing of we don't want white people in this space and it's just like due to shut up and it made everybody tired of it and diversity shouldn't be a word to make you sick to your stomach. you hear it and you want to throw up.

like they ruin something good because they don't have an off switch or dial it back switch. you are from the academia. so my blowing the horn too soon as this stuff actually going out the door. >> first or want to think the inclusivity of the vet felt too allowed 2 follicle he challenged people to appear at the same time but right they will probably just rebranded under something else and repackaging and if professors and institutions warning about diversity equity inclusion and how it leads to tribalism people chanting death to america it's based on anti- americanism and the institution some of realized the movement is gone a little bit 2 far we have a bunch of entitled brats screaming that america is a racist and evil country at the same time point for revolution and celebrating

in terrorist organization that will destroy christians has purged christians and jews from its land and wants to destroy societies so you see how ironic it is and how they've gone too far but but it got a better idea than defunding it we should take the money being used and send these people to the most horrible places around the world we can find guarantee you they will come back with a new appreciation for the united states of america for sure. >> greg: sending them to chicago doesn't solve any problem is. so kat right we know human resources is a screwy business. >> i would never say that. i am on your side. >> my files a bit different than yours but there is a society for human resources management and they fought the solution was

just take the word and reverse it. >> none of it makes sense right just pointing out these statements we tell people to write compulsory statements don't work i think it's a worse think actually there is no greater gift you could give to a manipulative fake person then to tell them this is what you need to say to get what you want which is all that is. so many times i've been like he likes all the same things i like know kat you dumb. [ bleeps ] he knows you like those things so he's pretending to like those things. if you want to have somebody give a statement and the university being a part of that slick rate that statement about how diversity is important to you they will write how diversity is important to them whether it is or isn't. it's basic logic but if you say something like that it means you don't care about them's got nothing to do with it. >> greg: how many guys are saying they like taylor swift. >> i know 1 specifically plays

for the chiefs though. [ laughter ] >> he's like oh i love that song babe tear in my eye. >> greg: found the 1 guy and she's going to marry him. [ laughter ] honestly i think it's good for students in good for employers. >> i think we always miss a lesson right. the perfect example is changing the name of something but that's how the world works right you take words that mean 1 thing and you change them to something else but we are on to them snow they move letters around right. at some point somebody has to say look dr evil it's not going to happen it's just not enough right the whole thing about the seinfeld thing 22 pete thousand people and 40 walked out and 2 them were newman they were like that's the problem so it's over

rate it's done for them but we are not learning the lesson is were not going to the people affected by we are propping up at the ones who dismissed not apologizing to lower-class america or or to men and women we're just saying we are doing this know the has to be more than that where than a check from police officers it needs to be from the universities like going to have scholarships to get people law-enforcement and make up for the last 5 years have been embarrassing ruining people's lives people who work their ass off being told no because you are white that's just as bad in the 60 saying no tyrus you can't sit here because you are black it's the same thing right but it starts with recognizing not just changing the after recognize we believe leap up we miss -- listen to the wrong people. >> you know how they know they are frauds because harvard they had a sit in and are demanding

to be reinstated instead of just leaving the school which is still doing business with israel they are just like we want to be reinstated we don't want to give anything up. they got nothing and they are like we got nothing put us back in class. >> greg: some hunger strike as well. >> it was a hunger moment. >> greg: up next are voters disgusted because cohen can't be trusted.

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>> greg: i will go to your first as he admitted to

pressuring stormy daniels style lie about the hush money also misleading the federal election commission about the payment and came off as a spurned a lover just obsessed with donald trump and when he didn't get a position in the government he turned on him meeting with investigators while he was imprisoned. what do you make of all that? >> it's confusing because it was fashionable to be the side. [ bleeps ] he was the side lawyer which meant he just wasn't allowed to come to the house in front of the family if you can't tell this is a love story he loved it too hard and trump used them to file some paperwork which again the president president made a mistake you clearly because when they go back and forth right you tell us so terribly was and you're telling him out terrible you were but you work together for a long time so the attacking i think isn't working make it

refer the jury to come out because i -- to hear how the testimony was so riveting at some point give him a box of tissues like the president in the eyes and be like you broke my heart my bags are packed tired he told my friends i had an office at the white house. i got my kids white house dad t-shirts you ruined everything. you broke my heart and that's why i'm here. and we'd get it the jury is going to come back and i can tell you know word for word the verdict they are going to hand it to the bailiff and it says jerry comes back with what the. [ bleeps ] >> greg: kat do you sometimes wish you had somebody who cared about you the way cohen cared about trump? he admitted to lying out of loyalty to protect him. >> i do have somebody like that i'm sorry you don't.

stormy's attorney said he thought he would kill himself because he didn't get the job that's a meltdown i can picture. i can see the flurry of text messages being said and also the guy is a convicted perjurer this is their big witness and none of it makes sense it's gone on so long and it to me it is so remarkable how something involving sects and power and betrayal is this boring. >> greg: they don't even know that charge yet it's about an entry into illegal for expense. >> i thought you were going somewhere else with that. and the logging and illegal acts expense they can to any other way because there was no way to do it. >> greg: i haven't heard them talk at all. nicholas have you been following this you better but he's a known

perjurer how can anybody take him seriously it's all a vendetta. >> i followed this closely and i think it the district attorney is a closet maga supporter how else do you explain the trail it's ridiculous everybody sees what it is using the weight of government to target 1 person you dislike but i have to give a thank you because i've been teaching nearly 20 years i never thought i'd be able to bring porn stars into the classroom and talk about that. hunter biden and his cracking 6 addition i mean politics into a 24 is pretty interesting as the only thing i wish as the trial was televised. as they watch it on tv as a new york jury as the government not guilty verdict based on what we heard.

>> an opportunity to make sure it doesn't go to a jury heard jonathan turley say that before he left for work can't believe i said that he's going to kill me. jim what say you what's the comedy world thinking right now what's going on in the comedy brain. >> a great nonhumiliating way to ask a. they think that michael cohen is probably telling the truth but i don't care. i do not care about this crap adult i don't care if he did it. he lied as high don't care at all. i don't care if he had sex with her on the back of a classified document.

as i wouldn't care if biden didn't i don't care who these guys a sex with if they have to lie because they get busted it's a nonissue. a waste of everybody's time. >> greg: top-secret top secretion. and i just want people to know that. up next nancy pelosi cannot contain her elitist distain.

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president nancy pelosi who spoke out in oxford union debate in england arguing americans who see themselves as populist our poor souls looking for answers watch. >> we have seen demagogues come down the pipe destroy the press. what do republicans say, fake news. so they diminish that in the eyes of these poor souls looking for some answers. we've given to them that they are blocked by their views on guns or the 3 g's guns in gays and god. >> i use my gees. >> greg: and echo of obama's comment that working class voters cling to guns or religion but the only thing clinging to nancy r her eyebrows. nicholas it's always the same refrain these poor ignorant

masses if only they were smart enough to see how great the democrats are. >> they forgot with public services about as with nancy pelosi and the elitist attitude with thessalon opening up meanwhile having to give my kids haircuts and she messed up and held this lavish fundraiser and it shows add the let them eat cake attitude. but who's really to blame. is it them are putting people like this and power again. as time and time again as the talking down to us if they are children what's in their best interest as with name

recognition you and nancy dated back in the eighties. is a look like they are dressed for the dinner party of the shining. [ laughter ] it's like she is a weird satanic spell as the only parcel i can think is the cop looked at her husband in his underpants floating with a hammer wielding stud. >> greg: i don't know if the facts are true. back after this ladies and gentlemen. but at least he is honest about it really does him she could look down on anybody in public

they pretend they are for the people in populist she looks down on you to her face. >> i don't want to telling me what to do he lets not true i want her telling me what stocks to buy. saying people cling to this or that. at this they cling to their values that's what everybody does. as to look down on somebody just because of theirs are different than yours. that doesn't make you better or smart. other people know it's best for themselves. >> greg: if they want to cling to that go for it. you should see the things i cling to. >> unfortunately 1 of them is my leg. >> greg: i get excited. >> i now.

>> you should see the get fell the water spray bottle i have. i have a question. where is is she coming from before she did it did she spread until jump over some stuff like why is she so pressed for time. she's exhausted. she's out of breath as she's usually so good at predicting things to the point of, she doesn't know the pulse of the american people so most like 1. as... >> greg: is that her husband on the left? >> to be fair we know that look. as he's looking at her like he just relates that.

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>> a story in 5 words. writers says take cold showers. i love this story is a washington post journalist is telling americans to take cold showers she probably won't do it herself and use cold water almost all the time to save the planet. it can you name anything worse than having a cold shower? >> yes, this woman. i don't think of every said this before but if i saw her i might try to fight her. i might get into fighting because you know what i don't take hot showers to shower i do it recreationally i like to bathe i like to shower it is the 1 warm peaceful place in the

world which is currently filled with misery and stress. like you said there's no way to verify she's taking cold showers because i said okay let me watch you shower i'm creepy. this is the most awful thing and you aren't winning anybody over to your cause come over to my team we take cold showers every day. no, abu. >> greg: i don't think she has a life. >> that is the 1 time i'm warm you want to take that for me. >> greg: gym and telling you we have no evidence she made the changes herself the people who do this they eat bugs don't use air conditioning like okay you do it for a month you ass hole. >> and tell us how it went i wont to do this not only will i not do this a use hot water on my plants.

i also won't flush the toilet unless that there is hot water in their i will send them a little treat so a nice and toasty. >> greg: that's just disgusting. [ laughter ] i think they should be forced to actually prove and show they are doing this. >> listen it sounds good but they are just running out of. [ bleeps ] hold your breath and the planet will be better. cold showers is a man thing i take cold showers all the time because it prepares me for the rest of my day. i step out my face is already set marty disappointed at my worst physical point with all the freezing i'm ready for the world let's go do it. the big thing is those cold plunges right it's good for your body and joints but i don't

think in the mainstream of things when the planet is falling apart and we are holding on and they're like what is it that did it? somebody took a hot shower and as we fall we look at kat, you it was you as she steps smoking hot tea walking away and we die. >> greg: by the way jesse set on the 5 equal plunges for 5 minutes did you hear that there is nobody does that. >> if he did it he would be posting it there's no way. >> johnny did it and he recorded johnny and he did it i will take the challenge i will call waters cold plunge let's go. so nicholas they also said not washing your plates. you wash your hands without water because you kill germs.

>> correct and dirty sheets like stormy daniels sheets. but these people it's an elitist mindset they are all frauds and hypocrites miserable in life it's like taking away plastic straws as if that's the thing that will save the earth instead now we use paper straws and every drink is miserable to use they are all frauds and i think it's about time we don't listen to and acknowledge them because they if they are going to live by what they say don't preach to me. >> greg: if we ignore them then i have to find another story to do and that these are easy stories. >> talk about college campuses. >> greg: like washington post when i was editor of men's health before i would do anything i would do the thing. i lived in a monastery for a week when i talked about it ih mcdonald's for 8 days when i

wrote about that. i've tried everything. >> he shot of heroin. >> greg: that explains it. jim you are grinning at me. >> i just like to look at you. i know what i am doing tonight. up next news to give from where our guests live. (vo) you were diagnosed with thyroid eye disease a long time ago.

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>> hello i'm kelly crystal and every guest shares a story and where they are from gym why don't you go first we. >> thank you very much did they show the video of the little duck that escaped in the school is a duck running for the school and nobody knew what to do they finally wrangle it up and it reminded me of something happening like this in high school i was a hero a local hero it was puppies somebody left them overnight their route there's they were in a box at 7 of them and nobody knew what to do so i called the governor of south carolina she raised over with a got a blowtorch and 2 golf clubs. >> she just came on the show.

>> it's amazing and you find a person was convicted of murder and bludgeoning someone to death was allowed to sit on a college campus for nearly a week is the same people who say words or violence that want to ban people like riley gains and they show people like heather mcdonald they allow a murderer. bludgeoning or with a blunt force object no less and it took the campus a week to kick him off but it shows you how far off the rails some of these people in academia have gone and how far off the rails the students are what are they will except somebody like that but if you miss pronoun somebody you are satan. >> if i was in college and somebody said that i wouldn't believe it. like why are you here if you are

a bludgeoning work tires you can go next. >> of a blunt force object no less. speaking of blunt force objects. it's time for a new segment tire risk throwaway. so as many of you know i have a zoo menagerie in every titanium we get a stowaway but we take her immigration very seriously in my zoo we had a bit of an issue where somebody tried to come across into our border we caught her covered her up now listen do not try this at home you only learn this if you grew up in the swamps of louisiana. because we have more than 1 son i was fine with him doing this. so we caught her turns out the reason she was hanging around she had a bed injury fishing line or after underfoot to the point was falling off so he cut the fishing line offer and we

center owner way using an old-school rope and string caught her pretty proud of herself and i said well this doesn't excuse not going to college but it's a start. >> my parents never let me do anything. >> you get eaten by an alligator it's an act of god. bludgeoning him with that be better. >> greg: i don't know if your member the story about the bay area school students from st. francis mountain view high school they were expelled from school because they were accused of wearing black face and an old picture when it turned out they were wearing acne facemasks for their skin they were awarded a million dollars in tuition. 2 students tuition reimbursement after they were expelled.

>> 2 students got the money what about the third guy? >> he was actually in blackface. anyways thank you jim for supplying that fact. so they got 500 grand each and was st. francis high school so there you go maybe that will teach people to stop trying to cancel people for things they didn't do. [ cheers and applause ] don't go away we will be right back. >> tech: does your windshield have a crack? trust safelite. this customer had auto glass damage, but he was busy working from home... ...so he scheduled with safelite in just a few clicks. we came to his house... then we got to work. we replaced his windshield... ...and installed new wipers to protect his new glass. >> customer: looks great. thank you. >> tech: my pleasure. >> vo: we come to you for free. schedule now for free mobile service at safelite.com. ♪ safelite repair, safelite replace. ♪

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out of time. thank you everyone, i'm greg gutfeld, love you, america. >> trace: good evening, i'm trace gallagher, 11:00 pm on the east coast, 8:00 i