>> ♪ ♪ >> sean: that's all the time we have left this evening if you haven't already please check out my new series on fox nation outlaws and lawmen all episodes stream bench watch set your dvr so that you never ever miss an episode of hannity monday through friday 9:00 pm let not your heart be troubled this friday night greg gutfeld is standing by to put a smile on your face have a great night. >> ♪ ♪

yes i agree. yes i'm still not going home with you though. it's friday you know what that means. let's welcome tonight's guests. she's like the show cops on tv since the nineties often seen around half naked men kennedy! he creates more impressions then away or are others does a weight watchers meeting in flanagan's. tyler fischer. she's like hail, small white and smashes windshields. fox news contributor kat timpf.

and his underwear can be used by paragliders new york times best-selling author and former nwa world heavyweight champion tyrus. >> greg: before we get to new stories let's do this. >> ♪ ♪ greg slit leftovers. >> greg: it's leftovers where i read the jokes we didn't use this weekend is always it's my first time reading them. if they suck we stuffed ground beef down joe machi and send them to the view asked mac has established rules to users deposed x-rated content the decision was made by his newest content executive. new york governor kathy hotel is pitching a plan for congestion driving charging drivers to

enter the business district only forcing new yorkers to move unlike her face. transmitted fungal infection detected in nyc if that's the only thing it you get after visiting nyc you are doing great. to prevent shoplifting workers at tj maxx and marshalls ones are wearing body can shoppers are disappointed because it makes people find out a remote amazon tribe hooked on porn in unrelated news seashells are now

accepted as payment for porn hub. the wall street journals says people are divided over whether it's okay to call without texting others report wanting people to reach out at all. very lonely alec baldwin unveiling a new tlc reality series for 2025 with the couple and their 7 children a modern-day brady bunch with alice getting shot in the face on the ev front senators blasted the governor meant for having 3 years and 7 billion dollars to

make just 5 stations they plan to build 500,000 stations and at their current place it would be done by the year 16,310. a journalist for the ny times asked if joe biden should downplay his own success like asking joy behar to downplay her looks. i will take it. jennifer lopez canceled her to her citing a desire to be with her family on the news ben affleck announced he is going on tour researchers calling for limits on in-flight alcohol purchases for health those who fly spirit are free to keep

sniffing glue. after british airways passengers were told to brace for landing spending hours on the tarmac james cord and interior taint his travelers they thanked the travelers -- for making them look forward to diana crash a new app tracks big mac prices across the u.s. to save money it has its first a vip customer. worlds loneliest man lives in a village with just a horrors a picture of him and his animal. [ cheers and applause ]

we don't even try to make it look like a village just slap the 2 people together now to the news with the democrats rooted the day they tried to put trump away that liberals with a nice digestive system against the ones in future president manipulating phony charges and a conviction the pandora's box is open and trump people are thirsty for revenge a democrat law fair being to blame they can also play at that game republicans from stephen miller to steve bannon and speaker mike johnson are expressing a need for vengeance not just a fun kind where you switch mac seam waters wake with family of ferrets mike johnson promised use appropriation legislation and oversight terrain in the justice department they have gender-neutral panties in a twist over it as trump ones

retribution decipher and i just just as real and dangerous mother jones trump's obsession with revenge a big poster verdict danger daily beast revenge what trump and the gop want most of all the brain trust morning joe donald trump and his alleys are looking to do this he's just hillary clinton be jailed in response and he says he will serve it up and so with that i'm not sure what more people need to know given a lot of things donald trump as promised have come to pass. >> great work there still sorry to break the news but hillary is roaming the streets and sweat

stained pantsuits menacing societies displayed all trump calls for jail a lot of his promises came to pass like building a healthy economy in border security world peace who else remember the good old days of 2019 when you're married to joe scarborough you train at the think of the past or present and perhaps the future either way i see it the greatest revenge comes november 5th after that so they focus on incentives so losers don't get eventually get mad as in mutually assured destruction let them know you are just as capable as they are improving that no 1 is above the law is not really about jailing people it's about punishing crime because like gandhi famously said don't start none won't be none.

kennedy don't you think it's interesting they are quaking in their boots because they know what they deserve it they are the ones talking about revenge all the time. >> you reminds me of hamas being angry at the response israel had after they inflicted the worst massacres since the holocaust with an administration be incapable of retribution it's horrible for the country i like what mike johnson is saying like that they would use appropriations in every means to take stock in the justice system as they want him to make it more ethical and do that with every agency they talk about defund the police defund everything that's what small minded conservatives and libertarians wanted so they're using this moment with that i can be fine

if that. >> i disagree rising about things overrated if you are trump out you get back how would you get back at the democrats for the several convictions. >> everything i did word for word. as they which was anything to make a good. 34 counts nobody is done it and they couldn't do a 22 counts as even the zodiac killer right zodiac loser the out catch me outside the yard so let them have the badge.

let him have it. and with kennedy don't want to weapon eyes anything you incentivize them as is a ping-pong thing is it possible to have mutually assured destruction to end the weaponization of the justice department and they think honestly that my issue is whether branches of government levels my issue in general as when so-and-so is there as doesn't demand much on who is and what position which i believe it was politicized but if we get my focus is on how

that happened. as they had that kind of power as i think that's not the answer as as should not be owned was empower the parts have just gary all right way you need to do something you need to do something or they don't stop this and the last 6 years with the coup doing what they should have a flying committing crimes or finding the crime as the bank robber steals money as they went out of their way to get them out of office that a team of

hollywood directors come in to produce the january 6th thing they went above and beyond to go after them had guys that 34 counts on a crime expire did everything they could. he never did that when he was in office he went them in the doj resign and what they are afraid not revenge is count ability it's turn the other cheek and if you're doing write that would stand by you not to worry about richard bashan because i follow the law and seek the truth so come get me that that what they were saying. it's all cool if you win.

[ bleeps ] that. >> they are worried which is why they're bringing up that word. for revenge not retarded. dang it kennedy. later in the show and first a possible vp sweating over 40 fives vetting. bounty mega roll lasts longer so you can tackle: ♪ applesauce and avocado, ♪ ♪ berries, butter, coffee, cream, ♪ ♪ drippy fingers, deviled eggs ♪ ♪ and empanadas (red and green). ♪ bounty mega roll lets you clean spills without running out. ♪ and mommy's glass of zinfandellll! ♪ bounty. the quicker picker upper. everybody wants super straight, super white teeth. they want that hollywood white smile. new sensodyne clinical white provides 2 shades whiter teeth and 24/7 sensitivity protection.

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>> a story in 5 words. trump vp named for vetting they

are vetting can fit what are your thoughts about this what he thing the presidents contemplating. >> democrats love having first. will harass the first indian black woman, first autistic hyena the first 1 we left the first blind bisexual bipolar, a biodegradable native american chinese trans- child of color someone like ben shapiro would be good but he'd be cutting to adds everyone. hello everybody my fellow americans we are at war bonds are going off and they didn't

yet to use express vp use ghost the bomb for 10% off or maybe bill burr he is funny a comedian open for him and everyone would tune in my wife is coming home where watching the view we are making it illegal for right on monday it's called bills or bills it will be 5 years in jail for every minute you watch the view i like these ideas did you see who is not on the list, kristi gnome likes like the dog got the last live that's what did it she was on the list. but then she bragged about enjoying shooting her dog do not take advice from corey lewandowski. >> words to live by.

>> maybe somebody who can like maybe someday can speak to both sides of the aisle like 50-cent have you been watching all that. he was meeting with everybody that a sale my gosh i'm so trad. he posted a photo of lauren bo bert and people went nuts about the photo so that he tweeted wait wait guys i took pictures of everyone all you seem to care about is lauren what did she do in a dark theater that hasn't been done i don't have chlamydia by the way lol. that's my vice president at the very least he should do the show if somebody watching knows him. >> greg: i'm sure he'd love to do the show. mr sent is that 50 or for 80. >> now he's never gonna do it because you did that. no no rhonda santos no nikki

haley no vbac. there's no reason to vet her she's at the top of the list you not? to call her and be like you are off the list you might mess around in the forest and kennedy do the sound, please. [ cheers and applause ] >> make me feel that when you hear you do that as if you think this is a deflection as the people they'd assign different? >> absolutely will do some version of the apprentice which will crescendo at the rnc in

july and they're releasing a little here and there is like the beginning of the bachelor as they're never the ones he takes him to his family. >> interesting he's been to the governor rodeo and it bit him in the ass which is docketed on that so ideally you don't want to pick you want to pick that an soa the best person for the job you want the person brings in the most votes with he did do something like totally different >> somebody you know? lights quinn does light-skinned added to think harold ford junior? >> los. >> i was going to say joe mansion he's retiring and renounces the democrats static didn't he decide to go independent?

>> he is no longer a democrat. >> greg: why do a make up these things to think avenue a problem could you imagine him taking some be like that like just cream in hell out of the democrat party. >> what about anthony if ouchi do that job. >> he would be on their be like you need your 50 year shot every day first shot it was really to loosen up the vein and get it ready for the second. they should have kristi gnome go to his house and dress up as a dog get them as vaccines get them as booster shots he means that only in the most comical way. remember we got mad at jesse watters because jesse watters is saying about shots and it was like i'm getting threatened by people political theater. >> greg: do you feel vexed getting a call over a text

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[ cheers and applause ] some are suggesting not calling before texting tonight's gutfeld debate should you text before you call our friends at the wall street journal row another

fascinating piece asking the question and there are 2 camps of those who don't mind a random phone call and those who prefer a heads up text of letting you know they are going to call you. they found that while some love to get a surprise phone call others found nothing ruder it's panic inducing like there is an emergency and they are mad it's not an emergency it's my got a somebody did i just called to say high it's like then why are you calling me. >> yes. i hate when people call me without texting first ellicott my phone and i'm like is this person going to force me to do improv right now like you're not going to tell me what this is about. it's like you call me a could be about anything at had no time to prepare but okay the worst thing you can do the actual worst thing you can do like oh tyrus is calling me right now.

>> greg: you kids. >> ci feel like i've done something wrong. >> nonjust kind of check and you. like hello you don't have to answer otherwise you like hello or, hey, it what's up you don't know. >> she hung up on me i have to text are now about it. >> never leave a voicemail. >> i called tyrus but it's on voicemail call me back. >> you are blocks. >> i think your necklace could be a belt for me. >> i think my necklace could be a belt for you. >> your question greg? >> greg: from the wall street journal it's a don't do you dare call me without texting first can you guess which gender wrote this don't you dare to call me without texting me what amanda write this?

>> no because here's the deal if you call me i'm probably not going to answer and if you text me you called me that i'm not going to call you back at all whose life is this complicated or important to where only call me if it's an emergency. kiss my ass if i feel like calling you i will call you. that's what it is it's a polite way of saying i don't want to talk to you. please text me so i can lie to you and say i'm so busy solving world problem is behind closed doors. kennedy this is ageist its older people who had land lines they call more often without texting and they should call you to stay hello. they're calling them it's to break up with them that sexy not true done so by text. like they were never alive. it's precisely that it's for the

good old days done dumping them in the bay. being quick on that is to take some but he before you murder them and dump them in the bag as its a running start getting on a bicycle with 1 locomotion there for going to call you i can call you going around being like high it's me i'm texting to ask if it's okay if i call you please. >> greg: that is the worst was ever heard. >> i know but that's the person who wrote this article that's the voice they have in my head. >> greg: and you know what this person does at least what's or twice a week maybe 3 times a week on the wall street journal they do these complaining pieces and it's why this person does this when you were flying why do they do this it's the same person you know what this person does i'll tell you what they do. these are the people who text

short texts it drives me crazy like what's up what are you doing justice and 1 sentence and you go okay what's going on you can put it in 1 text that's the crime. >> it is a crime and we are like overly consensual now you know what i mean consented to make i can't kennedy that's what they want to do i want to go 1 step further a don't want some of me without my knowing first i think there should be in effect at called can i text right you get an alert of tyrus going know you can't text me. >> you use the oral legend somebody has to tell you. >> he went to high school first she was so cool. >> yes to tell somebody who has to tell like hate kennedy can you tell tyler that i want to text him 3 greg says you're a

legally. >> thank you i will talk to greg at home. >> just be a man in do it we weren't doing that back in the day like i'm going to send the carrier pigeon to your house to let you know there's a handwritten letter that will arrive in 300 business days just call me my pronouns are pick up. kathy? >> greg: what's the impression you just did what would you call that. >> the old time he impression this is every old-time he impression that the done here she's going around the corner. >> and you do that as awoke person now with that voice? >> i feel pretty good triggered my opponents or he who what when where and skedaddle. all right. >> before we go did you see craig's excited hand that. when gray gets appointee does

this. watch the greg and the dance when he's excited he so excited his other hand can't catch up the clap. >> i want to defend myself but i can't. coming up questions and answers. [ cheers and applause ] w. (♪) but what good is shame when it comes to health? health is not about what weight we lose. it's about all of the things a body can gain. (♪)

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>> you are watching mailing it in. >> greg: a fun question what would you build with a million legos kennedy equally maximum-security condo to house all the people he play of lego so they can't get out. >> greg: tyler? >> i would finish of the wall and nice lego portion of the wall. [ cheers and applause ]

>> greg: why not a lego wall? >> it's so playful and colorful make it rainbow for pride or whatever. you could do a contract with a lego in a could get build. tyrus what would you do if a million legos what would you build? >> what would i build with a million legos? a statue of me. to sit in this chair right here. >> may be of just your leg. >> you keep this up while sticky in my pocket and slap you around. >> greg: kat what would you build with a million legos? >> i would step up them and get in the with my husband about who will throw them away until he did it. >> greg: you could build an amazing house by some land.

what i would build with a million legos a lego making machine that made more legos. that way i could accelerate in the machine we keep making legos which would make another lego meet making machine and it would be self-perpetuating and i would take over the world. >> making a machine oh my gosh. so. >> go back and kill lego hitler. >> you can break it -- make bricks and stuff. >> greg: up flawed, applaud. bully, a bully, bully. another asked what is your main phobia and how do you manage it. let me guess tyler you don't have any phobias? >> my name is tyrus. >> greg: what did i say? >> tyler. >> i guess were 1 personnel. >> we did run off together.

yet to be on top of a shoulders i guess. >> listen 1 small pervert in my life is all i can handle. you have any phobias? the campy snakes or spiders anything. >> no people who i don't like talking to talking to me as my phobia when somebody you just comes up to you and is like high and they keep going and going and going i never know how to end it without just screaming shut up and going away. i always see them coming. >> greg: i get dizzy when that happens. >> any time jesse watters comes into the room you know. have you talked to him. >> greg: who did you say i missed it? >> waters. >> greg: he doesn't talk to anybody thankfully. it's the breath problem. kat? phobia?

>> i used to have a bad phobia of blood and guts but then i got over it. because it was chapter 5 and i looked down and there was. >> greg: once you can only see your blood you have to get over i wouldn't recommend. >> tyler any phobia? >> i have a fear of needles i didn't get the covid-19 vaccine because my pediatrician said i was too tiny that thing would have gone for my arm also fear of feminism for sure. when toxic massey limit -- masculinity comes on a date my penis goes into my stomach can i say to that great. >> you just did. >> greg: kennedy? >> i don't. >> greg: no fears? >> i don't have a fear of heights am not claustrophobic a fear of snakes or spiders or fire or sharks.

i was at a phobia. >> sounds like a feminist. >> greg: you know i had a fear that i can't get rid of. i can't open up my eyes underwater. is that weird? >> 1000 percent yes. all you have to do is open them. >> it's weird because i don't like having because i don't like open spaces. >> being below the was probably weird for someone of your stature. >> with goggles on it freaks me out i can't even look. when i saw poseidon adventure the original i had to walk out of the theater. >> what happened to you when you are baptized? >> well, i don't remember. >> they talked to the preacher down. >> greg: we've got to go. standup comedy from joe machi next.

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>> it's laughter you came to find he's come here to blow your mind remember he's just a scared of you as you are of him. welcome comedian joe machi. >> hello everybody, hey, everybody, thank you, thank you well. it is great to be here i was riding the subway late at night a guy got on the train and said if you look at me again i will kill you. my friend is like what did they look like and i was like well i didn't get a good look at oh. the subway got dangerous lately ever since they got rid of consequences. like recently i had a rule where if you bring a dog on the train a has to be fully enclosed a dog

carrying bags of people broke that rule i saw a guy bring in unleashed pitbull on the train so i wrote the subway authority and said if you don't start enforcing your dog rule sooner or later a baby is going to get eaten because pitbull's can be great dogs with a bad owner sometimes they eat babies. anyways the subway authority didn't write back and later on i realized that might have been my fault because i phrased it like that. it sounded like i was threatening down the baby eaten and that's not what i meant that all that's how rumors start. and that doing this weird interaction with workers watching my car at the park i know that sounds weird where he live it's all that people wash

their car there filling up buckets and on this day they didn't care for the can watch the car here party gotten 20 complaints and if you've already gotten 20 complaints putting up assigned to wash the car as it's the same reason i sold drugs at all those high schools and that should have been the end of it has that guy stupid couldn't succeed in the private sector and the the can't murder someone and that's not allowed either. and could you put a pin and that we get my joke notebook doing it in different cities and first of all it seems like i'm murdering someone washing your car as an apples to oranges comparison. and breaking the apple storage

comparison because it made sense to me the different popular round through. and that the subject at hand with no murdering allowed they would get the hell out of there. because you have to figure that's where most of them murderers were happening it's the best time in history to be crazy giving out awards for it for the internet recently on instagram on father's day last year a friend posted a picture of your and her dad the caption happy day the world's greatest dad they were and it was crazy pretty old. and they said no so i said why would you tell him he is the world's greatest dad on a forum he's not even on he's walking around right now doesn't even know he is the world's greatest dad. then i answer my own question it's because you are a malignant

narcissist. how do you figure imagine doing something like that before social media. hey, phil i wanted to let you know it's father's day told my daddy's the world's greatest dad. that makes sense joe it's father's day that's when you tell him that. 1 more thing phil i don't even know if you like that. and the world becoming a crazy place stepping in to make sense of it all and that really backfired on bud light boycotting that beer 1 day you are a fan of bud light beer and next you deny yourself delicious taste of urine flavored alcohol. and people say how do you know what urine tastes like. and 1 time i was stung in the mouth by a jellyfish.

the worst part of having somebody peon your jellyfish sting is when you find out later that's not a real cure. being bamboozled again by german tourists. thank you guys i really appreciate it. thank you all. [ cheers and applause ] thank you joe machi delightful. don't go away we will be right back. [ cheers and applause ] bounty mega roll lasts longer so you can tackle: ♪ applesauce and avocado, ♪ ♪ berries, butter, coffee, cream, ♪

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>> greg: we are out of time, thank you to our guests and our studio audience. love you, america. >> trace: good evening i'm trace gallagher, 11:00 pm on the east coast, 8:00 i