wages. it has a real impact and the black community is feeling it. that could be would explain some of the shift we are seeing. >> but i'm winning! i'm winning! and i'm the nominee! sorry, every time i hear you say it, i'm like biden is screaming i'm winning and i'm the nominee r but the best, ramen, i'm telling you, i'm going to stick with old gretchen on her book tour. not old but she is on her book tour. she has been on everything, including the cover of farm tools weekly. this woman has been on every media outlet. but she cannot find time to be with the president of the united states. very interesting. >> with these numbers, you can't blame her. >> all right raymond, rate segment is always. a weeklong of friday follies, that's it for us tonight, follow me on social media. i need your help on somethin the nasdaq did just fine. now. ♪ ♪ >> jesse: hello, everybody.

i'm jesse watters along with judge jeanine pirro, kevin walling, katie pavlich, and greg gutfeld. 5:00 in new york city, and this is "the five." ♪ ♪ the democrats worst nightmare coming true. joe biden's big boy news conference wasn't a total train wreck. dems were crossing their fingers that he'd malfunction or fall downstairs to keep their plans of booting him off the ticket rolling, but mr. magoo held it together just enough for an hour-long press conference. the bar was still ridiculously low, and biden's verbal slip-ups started before things even began. >> and now i want to handed over to the president of ukraine, who has as much courage as he has determination ladies and gentlemen, president putin. [applause] president putin? he's going to beat president putin. president zelenskyy. i'm so focused on beating putin, i wouldn't have picked vice president trump to be vice president if i didn't think

she was not qualified to be president p run following the advice of my commander in chief, my dad the chief of staff of the military. >> jesse: biden also pulled a classic move, just blame the staff for the screw ups. >> i love the staff, but they add things. and things all the time. i'm catching hell for my wife. anyway. i talked to my staff, always talk to my staff. sometimes my staff talks a lot. but the fact of the matter is i don't think you have them telling you that all the major ideas we have undertaken haven't been part initiated by me. >> jesse: speaking of the staff, joe's cabinet couldn't hide their embarrassment when their boss called kamala vice president trump appeared but the ultra biden diehards, they loved it. >> put on a master class in terms of complex international foreign policy. >> nothing less than the most

masterful, televised presidential press conference about foreign policy. >> substantive mastery of my goodness, it was a tour de force and a tour of the world. >> tonight was the old, former joe biden that we are kind of use to. yes, he made a couple flubs, but we know that. that is joe biden. he is the gaffe meister. >> the president is sharp and fit on the top of his game. >> showed the conversation about the president getting out of this race continue? >> no, it should end and let joe biden continue to make his own decisions about his future, he has earned that right. >> jesse: donald trump reacting to the big boy speech with another challenge. he posted this on truth social, "joe should meet at lee take a cognitive test, and i will go with him and take one, also, foe will be a team and do it for thd of the country. and joe biden is in michigan right now. we are going to be monitoring that. judge jeanine, democrats

described themselves today in purgatory because they were thinking he just needed to have one of those brain freezes, and then they could say, oh, you've got to get out of here. he didn't freeze, although he did confuse everyone else in the room. >> judge jeanine: he clearly bought himself more time. he didn't fall on his face, but he, look, if you are going to call zelenskyy putin and you are going to call kamala trump, and the chief of staff of the military's, the commander in chief, and you don't know you are the commander in chief, there is still a lot of trouble. they can call it a gaffe, the guy has mental issues. but joe has been in politics for 50 years, jesse. joe is entitled to make a decision regarding his own life. this man is willing to sacrifice his final years for the american people, to devote those years to all of us, and we should respect that, after all, this is a democracy.

and right now, nobody is moving joe. nobody is moving joe. hunter is not moving him and jill is not moving him. they absolutely come i'm sure, greeted him -- she was probably jumping up and down the way she was after the debate, answered every question, you were so great! but in the end, you've got people like jaime harrison, lawrence o'donnell, paul big gala, even clyburn now, everybody is backing up a little. you're not willing to be the person to say you absolutely have to go. this backtracking brought him more time. they are just waiting for him to fall on his face completely, but for now, unless they stage an intervention with the swing between we will give you these carrots or we've got this stick, joe, until they get to the stick, he is staying. >> jesse: so some of these characters are maybe backing him now but then you have obama, you have pelosi, tyrus, i mean, gutfeld. i don't know why i would say that. >> greg: i don't know, either.

>> jesse: how do you think this will play out? it could go on forever. >> greg: speaking of going on forever, he was 90 minutes late, right? it kept getting delayed and delayed and delayed, though he was already at the venue. it wasn't a travel issue. he was there. did he get lost in the cloak room, locked in a porta potty? were they waiting for the drugs to kick in or for the drugs to wear off? meanwhile the media is spiking the life alert like it is a football. but he bought some time, which is the worst thing for the democrats and the best thing for republicans. this is like when a relationship is ending and the guy knows it and prolongs it by suddenly acting the way the girl wanted him to, so he stops barking and starts brushing his teeth and then he thinks, oh, things are going better, moment of reconciliation, that moment is temporary and you are just

prolonging the inevitable, dragging out the process, should be a clean break, not a slow, agonizing amputation with a dull butter knife. and he blames his staff for adding things to his schedule, like what, waking up? the guy calls lids before breakfast. that's like saying alec baldwin click taught a master class in gun control. by the way, we have to get rid of this lie that biden really shines on foreign policy. he has been on the wrong side of every foreign policy issue, from getting rid of bin laden to the ukraine fiasco to afghanistan withdrawal. a damp rag would have been less harmful. when he called zelenskyy putin, his warm enemy, that's like calling me jesse. also, lastly, joe wasn't that glowing about kamala stepping np or go he said i wouldn't have picked her -- he said this, i wouldn't have picked her if she wasn't qualified.

that is two negatives. that's like saying i wouldn't have done jesse's show if i didn't think it wasn't awful. because all people will remember is the negativity, not the positive spin, but watching the media pivot is just wonderful because they are going to have to act like the last two weeks didn't exist, like it was bobby ewing in the shower waking up and it was just a dream. that is a reference to anybody born in 1960. there you go. >> jesse: greg mentions the media pivoting. they are basically pivoted back to the cover-up, saying this was a master class and a brilliant performance. how do you pivot back to the cover-up? >> katie: because biden is not going anywhere so they are trying to figure out how to stay in the good graces of the administration after they have come out and all of these criticisms, multiple democrats calling for joe to go. questions kevin will have to answer. if you come out against biden and he stays and gets nominated

and campaigns against trump and does the second debate, how do you crawl back from your statements? because they are going to want to. but the new standard for running for president or being the president at a press conference that you never hold is just doing fine now? is that really the standard we are setting for joe biden? that he is okay because he was able to do one thing that he has not been wanting to do and the only reason he is doing it is because he has to to save his political career? on the staff thing, this is something he did after the debate. he blamed staff and advisors for his failure at the debate. they didn't prep him enough, prepped him too much, didn't do things ahead of the debate, that's what he failed, and then you started seeing all these really damning leaks coming, not from outside the white house but from inside the west wing. and you are going to see more of that as he continues to say that joe biden, some of the staff come i'm upset with the staff doing their jobs. finally, as greg made the point come on the foreign policy issue, he is standing there at a

nato press conference making a campaign speech and trashing the potential next president and former president of the united states, while also falsely accusing trump of being anti-nato when his nato policy was about bolstering nato, and conveniently ignored when russia decided to invade ukraine. it was under joe biden. it wasn't under donald trump. you had the finish president today saying actually come under trump, the americans put more military might into europe and made it safer for russia, so for him to take that opportunity to make a campaign speech rather than focusing on the quality of the defense of the country at a time when enemies are watching and going, this guy has a lot of problem and it is a good time to take advantage of it, been doing it for three years, i thought that was pretty low bar. >> jesse: how did the big boy do last night, walling? >> kevin: the big boy did okay. to katie's point, we agree the president is not going anywhere. he is in the race to win it. as a democrat, will take jesse describing that as a total train wreck, that is a win in my estimation as a democrat.

to the judge's point, i think it stemmed the bleeding. there were some reports you were going to see dozens of house members come out against the president. i think we are maybe up to 20 right now, that is the minorities in my party, so at least to that point has stemmed the bleeding. we will see how he is doing in michigan. >> jesse: okay, i'm sure he's going to put on a master class in town hallism in michigan. president biden campaigning in michigan the day after surviving his big boy news conference, coming up. the biden coup isn't slowing down. barack and etsy have another trick up their sleeve to force joe into retirement. ♪ ♪

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♪ ♪ >> judge jeanine: president biden speaking to supporters in michigan after surveying his big boy news conference. in the meantime, watch out, joe, you may have survived your big boy news conference, but the democratic big guns are calculating their next move in their coup to remove you. barack obama and nancy pelosi have reportedly spoken with each other about joe biden and the

future of his campaign. axios reports that there is a group of "very connected democrats," mostly veterans of the obama and clinton administrations, who are plotting hourly to get him to withdraw quickly. hillary clinton is cracking jokes about how it's hard to take away grandpa's keys while speaking to a private gathering of influential democrats. and poor joe can't even trust the people who work for him. his campaign staffers are leaking like crazy to the media. >> it's is people who are actually working on the president's reelection effort who privately are saying, after two weeks since the debate, that this just isn't something that he can turn around. >> these aids have basically come to the conclusion, he does have to step aside. and to do that, they have to convince him of the need to do that. >> judge jeanine: even the

left's biggest cultural icons are kicking joe biden while he's down. check out this brutal jab from jon stewart on trump biden's debate disaster. >> i don't know of a job interview that you could have gone on and delivered the performance that was delivered by joe biden and gotten a job. and i'm not talking about the presidency. i'm talking about, like, cashier at home depot. a job you would not think, okay, that is the hardest job in the entire world. >> judge jeanine: all right, jesse, we have heard about the aides to obama and clifton. what about obama himself? he hasn't spoken. >> jesse: that's purposeful. he doesn't want his fingerprints on it, but they are all over it. >> judge jeanine: what does it tell you? >> jesse: it tells me he wants him out, but he doesn't want to be too blunt because that is going to force joe to dig in even how harder. i love how casually the media is reporting there is a coup. going through your email, they

want a 4:00 meeting on a friday, oh, walling against the sitting president, 15% off the markets today. oh, one of those things, a coup, it is a coup, and this is the second one, they did it against trump, now they are doing it against joe. when they did it against trump it made a lot of republicans back trump harder. i'm backing biden harder because they are trying to do this to him. >> judge jeanine: it's so unfair appeared >> kevin: will take it. >> jesse: for now. if they wanted him out because he is mentally unfit, 25th amendment. that's an honest assessment, 25th amendment. they don't want him out of because of his mentality, they want him out because of his poll numbers. mccain had bad poll numbers. bob dole had terrible poll numbers. they knew he was going to lose. imagine jimmy jimmy carter's nus july 4th going against reagan. they didn't get rid of carter, give it your best shot. this is the game we are playing.

but then they have votes for the primary. you have to play by the rules. they have to live with the decisions they made. he's got a 32% approval rating, a 27% chance of winning reelection. but it's not really because of his age, jeanine, it's because of his policies. he's got horrible policies, and the democrats want to make it about the age and distract from the policies but he is in this position and he was in this decision before the debate because of his policies. >> judge jeanine: you know, what about, katie, the fact that it seems that obama really took to kamala harris when he said in 2013 she's the most beautiful attorney general in the country. you know, he was fawning over her and michelle was not too happy, i thought she was going to hit with a right hook. do you think there is a movement just to put kamala at the top? >> katie: there is consideration of that, but she

is attached to joe biden come into jesse's point, they are very unpopular when it comes to their policies. biden is one of the most unpopular presidents in the history of polling. kamala harris, a marriage of convenience to try and get joe biden over the finish line the first time she doesn't poll as well as joe biden does come and for the democrats, they have a big problem where it is not just the ticket of kamala and joe, it is gavin newsom polls below trump, pritzker below trump, they're having a really hard time finding someone who can beat trump at the polls on these issues. biden has to be nervous if the clintons are stunning to hang around, if you know what i mean? [laughter] i find it really interesting to see who is backing biden very publicly and who is not, like aoc and bernie sanders, for example, very pro biden, which is actually a pretty good reflection of how he has governed. he has not been a moderate candidate or president. he has been a very far left president. you are also seeing a class were happening with the democratic party and i think actually biden has a point when

he says the elites are out to get me, can get any more elite than barack obama and george clooney. >> judge jeanine: yep. you know, when joe was running, it was clyburn, james clyburn, who saved him -- south carolina in 2019. clyburn kind of has been back and forth. he's not real clear. what do you think is going on with him? >> kevin: yeah, he doubled down on his support of the president in his most recent interview, to your point, judge, he may joe biden president in south carolina. the congressional black caucus, which is the core of my party along with the hispanic caucus, they are reendorsed him, there is a lot of energy behind him for that. i think to jesse's point the process has played out. if you have folks coming in last minute, 14 million people voted, you can say it really wasn't a primary because no one rant against the president. trump, when he was up for reelection, he had some challenges that can '20. it is his to win or lose going

into november. >> judge jeanine: we agree with you. >> kevin: you are on my team now, i heard. an endorsement. >> judge jeanine: the obama people and the clinton people, they are all throwing in the towel, allegedly. they are the ones who held up the towel for all of those years. >> greg: i wouldn't touch that towel. hillary and obama are like the long-suffering understudy hoping the lead gets crushed by a stage prop. it is going to sound like a forgotten colombo episode where an ambitious older female politician invites the president out for a hike. and then two goes out and one comes back, the one that comes back is wearing a pantsuit. it's interesting, katie, you bring up the thing about joe biden being a far left president, why are the only people still really, really supporting biden is the hard

left progressives like the squad, bernie sanders, and the rabid firebrands on social media and mainstream media? it's because he was and he will remain a progressive trojan horse. their support is a quid pro quo, which is latin for "you owe us, old man," so if you are a moderate democrat, think twice about voting for him because you are not electing him, you are electing them comment at this point he won't have another term so he will do everything they want and this is where you got all of his horrible decisions like the climate bill and the college whatever that he pushed through. >> jesse: and the border. and the crazy d.a.s. >> greg: and the crazy d.a.s. >> kevin: can do pretty much what he wants. >> judge jeanine: come on. all right, huge week starting on monday, "the five" is going to be live from the rnc in

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plenty of polls showing donald trump is clobbering joe in key swing states, edit got the media worried that someone isn't giving joe the full picture. >> it makes me worried that the president is being given information about his political standing that may not be based in reality. >> if they are not telling him the truth, he is in a very, very tough spot. i don't know anyone who in politics would tell you who looks at the numbers that we see, would tell you that he has a chance. >> his wife and son are not letting him see the actual state of his political affairs. >> a longtime biden advisor just texted me. i am frustrated at the family, the biden family, for not expanding the circle so there would at least be a truth teller or two in their midst. >> katie: on the subject of his staff, axios is out with another stunning report that claims that joe biden is shrinking his inner circle to a group of yes men and women who block him an from getting negate information.

"the white house now is being run by the family and staff, who are effectively family," a group that also includes the first lady joe biden's top aide and deputy chief of staff. so, greg, hunter biden is now a top presidential advisor. we all know he makes really good decisions in talks. >> greg: this is the problem. inner circle not telling you the suit truth. it's like when jesse, remember when jesse prime time, your staff said that dancing to music in your chair was very cool, everybody outside the show was laughing at him. it took me, a good friend, and honest friend, to tell him he was embarrassing himself, what i did was make a montage. >> jesse: not the staff's idea, that was my idea. >> greg: this is what you do when you celebrate yourself, surround yourself with people who don't care enough to tell you the truth. obviously, hunter is looking out for himself, he's got money to worry about, he's got a lot of things to worry about. as long as you have power, no one is going to tell you

otherwise. the sad thing about joe is spouses are designed to that, to tell you what your coworkers and friends won't tell you. unfortunately, phil is the spouse and is controlling the spigot of information. she is controlling everything. the thing that bugs me about this whole thing is there worried about the numbers and not the nation. the stats should be like, who cares? it's like, the guys not well. you can't run a country. it's not about oh, you might lose. maybe you should tell him, you know what, this isn't good. you said that trump was the selfish one who wouldn't give up power. look at you, dude. >> katie: judge, first lady jill biden after that debate went out in public and told joe that he did a great job. i think that backs up the accusation that he is not getting the truth from her. >> judge jeanine: well, i don't think there is any question that joe biden, the make-believe medical doctor, too bad she wasn't a doctor, she might be able to help him a little bit.

she is the one who has dug her heels in. and you cannot get into the white house to see joe unless jill approves it. all right? so you have hunter, who desperately needs his father to be president. there is still a lot going on in terms of his future, and jill absolutely loves it. she has been literally coordinating and shielding joe biden, directing him to look this way, look that way, walk this way, walk that way, it's too important to her come at it's very sad. that's why i referenced truman's life and linda johnson's life who said, no, we are not going to let this happen to our husbands. no second term. she is a woman who, you know, is committed to running again, and i just want to say one thing about the debate. the original debate. joe biden was a different man than he was last night. and people don't talk about it that much, but i don't know who handled him before that debate, but whatever he was given, he

was speaking ahead of his thoughts and he was speaking too quickly and he was dozing off -- there was something going on with him. and i really believe that the family is not willing to say what it was that happened. i'm not suggesting in any way that joe biden has holt was marbles because he doesn't, but at the same time, he doesn't. at the same time, there is a lot going on behind the scenes and dems have been -- he is not on top of his game. what last night did was allow him to stay in until the end of the year. if he flipped out last night like the debate, they would have said he has to go, 25th amendment. >> katie: so kevin, how does the president get out of this polling problem? he keeps showing show me the evidence and the data, i am thing about stepping aside, delegates can vote for whoever they want in the convention. the data has been very bad for him for a couple of months, and the last two weeks according to the campaign manager, been really rough. >> kevin: here, judge, i thought you were on our team at

least until the commercial break. listen, you've got fivethirtyeight out there today saying that joe biden would win 271 to donald trump's 269. so you have these polls, and i said last week, nate silver came out against joe biden, he was a terrible pollster, now i am celebrating him a little bit and changed my tune because he has right now in terms of the president but polls have been all over the place, there are some trendlines in battleground states since the debate. i'm hopeful about going into next week we can refocus the conversation on donald trump. when it is a referendum as it has been joe biden since the debate, we lose. he has to refocus the campaign. to your point earlier, he tried to do that it little bit with the press conference at nato, we can debate whether that was the proper format and location for that, but he's got to reformat and refocus debate on donald trump, that's how he wi wins. >> katie: jesse? >> jesse: i don't think polling is going to push him out, it's got to be pain. fighting offshore chinese money account, whistle-blower comes forward or they pull some crazy

move with delegates behind the scenes at the convention. this guy has four decades of watching politics. he has seen polls turn around. he has seen black swan events. he saw wanted 2020. you could have a tragedy, you could have trump had food poisoning before the next debate and throw up all over the place. anything could happen, and that's what he's going to stay in it, yes, his map is shrinking. he has a very narrow path through the rust belt where he has to basically clean sweep it is impossible? no? is an improbable? yes. all he needs to do is make it to the campaign convention. if he could survive one month, he's locked in the nomination, and there it is. >> kevin: even less than that because we are doing the roll call into weeks. >> jesse: two weeks! >> kevin: even faster. >> judge jeanine: remember, he's been in politics for 50 years, he's got a thick skin. >> jesse: and knows about october surprises.

>> katie: early voting starts in september in some places. coming up, the crooked biden campaign just got busted editing one of joe biden's interviews. ♪ ♪ ya know, if you were cashbacking you could earn on everything with just one card. chase freedom unlimited. so, if you're off the racking... ...or crab cracking, you're cashbacking. cashback on flapjacks, baby backs, or tacos at the taco shack. nah, i'm working on my six pack. switch to a king suite- or book a silent retreat. silent retreat? hold up - yeeerp? i can't talk right now, i'm at a silent retreat. cashback on everything you buy with chase freedom unlimited with no annual fee. how do you cashback? chase. make more of what's yours. here's why you should switch fo to duckduckgo on all your devie duckduckgo comes with a built-n engine, like google, but it's r and doesn't spy on your searchs and duckduckgo lets you browsel but it blocks cookies and creepy ads that follow youa and other companies.

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♪ ♪ >> kevin: critics who say the white house and biden campaign covering for the aging biden brain just got more ammo. a milwaukee radio station admitted that they edited a recent interview with biden at the campaign's request. they cut out parts were the president bragged about the number of "blacks in his administration," and another portion where he rambled incoherently about the central park five. and cnn has a pretty startling report on what cabinet officials are expected to do before they meet with the president. >> cabinet officials will submit their questions and talking points, key talking points and

bullet points that they plan to present to the president in these closed-door meetings. this is how one source described it. they said the entire display is kind of an act. the white house's defense has been that is standard practice for any administration. >> kevin: so katie, it sounds like the calls are somewhat coming from inside our own house. thoughts on trying to shape some of these media narratives? >> katie: they just think that if they try to control everything in this new media environment that they are somehow going to come out on top and it actually is the reason why the debate went so poorly. because they have been putting on this facade and this charade, and when biden has to go out there and do something himself, it all comes crumbling down. they would be better off if they just let him be joe and there would be less attention on the gases that he makes in these interviews if he would just -- if they would let it be but they love censorship, they love going after people who they disagree with, this is why they still do have their censorship

industrial complex with big tech companies. if you can't even let him do a radio interview without trying to cut something out, people are going to find out that you tried to edit the interview, and that looks worse than the initial remarks no matter what they are. >> kevin: jesse, president trump and biden have both said they have a lot of support from the blacks, quote, unquote. who has more support from the blacks? >> jesse: oh, from the blacks? >> kevin: yeah. >> jesse: who to the blacks like? judge? >> judge jeanine: you. >> jesse: .1%, no problem there. [laughter] why would they edit that out? that's why they like biden, because he puts the blacks in the cabinet. >> kevin: that's true. >> jesse: because he didn't to african americans? >> greg: he's put blacks in the cabinet? how did i miss that. >> kevin: nobody puts baby in the corner or blacks in the cabinet. >> jesse: you know when you go to confession? you might not know. and then you say all your sins. this is what the media is doing

now. they are releasing full unedited transcripts. oh, i got things ahead of time. this is what is happening. we do edit in this business sometimes, like what i went on gg's show and was so many good, so many back-to-back homers, and made greg visibly uncomfortable so they edit out some of my great jokes. it happens but you don't do that to protect people come in greg's case or joe's. >> kevin: greg, what sins do you have to atone for? >> greg: is interesting they had to ramble out the incoherence. it would be easier to edit out where he didn't ramble incoherently. jesse is right. why do people get in trouble for saying exactly what dei does? dei is the only entity that if you point out the engine of its goals, which is minority preference, independent of merit, it's considered racist. if you say someone is a dei

higher, that is now apparently a dog whistle for being racist. but if they were hired for their identity markers, such as kamala, we know th they said a black woman. good job, dei, it worked. that is all joe was saying. i guess that was the article, "thou," that was the problem, the blacks. what if he meant a white family who last name is the black. >> jesse: the blacks is the secretary of education. >> kevin: judge, took katie's point, should we let joby joe? >> judge jeanine: yeah, joe was joe last night and was all right. >> kevin: you are on team joe biden. i love it. >> judge jeanine: it's not surprising, if you listen to those radio interviews, they are all serving up the same questions. but nobody in the media follows

that all. nobody is telling us about any of that stuff. and then the people on the cabinet have to actually submit questions ahead of time? the last cabinet meeting was in october of 2023, and everyone was so bent out of shape that the secretary of defense austin didn't tell everybody he was gone, well, austin didn't tell everyone he was sick or whatever happened to him because nobody was there, anyway, so it doesn't matter. it's like nobody is home. they are just, the democratic party as a whole just has this whole agenda and they are part of the machine, and you know it, you have to admit it. >> kevin: i'm turning the gears in that machine, come on. >> judge jeanine: that machine has been working for them. you know what is interesting? did you see the picture of blinken and austin and sullivan when joe called kamala vice president trump? did you see their face? >> katie: they tried to have a poker face. >> judge jeanine: it was sad.

they all know it, and they won't say it. >> kevin: all right, i feel you on that one. "fan mail friday" is up next. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ have you always had trouble losing weight and keeping it off? same. discover the power of wegovy®. ♪ ♪ with wegovy®, i lost 35 pounds. and some lost over 46 pounds. ♪ ♪ and i'm keeping the weight off. wegovy® helps you lose weight and keep it off. i'm reducing my risk. wegovy® is the only fda-approved weight-management medicine that's proven to reduce risk of major cardiovascular events in adults with known heart disease and with either obesity or overweight. wegovy® shouldn't be used with semaglutide or glp-1 medicines. don't take wegovy® if you or your family had medullary thyroid cancer, multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if allergic to it. stop wegovy® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck,

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the moment i met him i knew he was my soulmate. "soulmates." soulmate! [giggles] why do you need me? [laughs sarcastically] but then we switched to t-mobile 5g home internet. and now his attention is spent elsewhere. but i'm thinking of her the whole time. that's so much worse. why is that thing in bed with you? this is where it gets the best signal from the cell tower! i've tried everywhere else in the house! there's always a new excuse. well if we got xfinity you wouldn't have to mess around with the connection. therapy's tough, huh? -mmm. it's like a lot about me. [laughs] a home router should never be a home wrecker. oo this is a good book title.

♪ ♪

>> greg: all right, fan mail. first question. this is a great one. i'm going to go to you first, jesse. who was your teenage crush? >> jesse: alicia silverstone. >> greg: oh, interesting. >> jesse: and that was the movie come "crush," remember? she was also in that video, the aerosmith video p or >> greg: oh, with what is her name, the dude's daughter. aerosmith guy. liv tyler. 74. judge? >> judge jeanine: i don't want to say. >> greg: go ahead. mines embarrassing. >> judge jeanine: okay, i always loved charles heston. you know that raft with those legs? >> katie: that's a good one. >> jesse: she is a leg guy. >> greg: katie? >> katie: leonardo dicaprio,

appropriate given as a teenager. >> greg: like one of your friends girls p kevin? >> kevin: i am with judge and charlton heston. they were wearing skimpy outfits coming off that space shuttle. >> greg: did we do this question before? i feel like i told the story. sisters already teen beat, you guys were too young for teen beat. there is this little picture of this girl that was in "teen beat" in black and right, i was probably like nine or ten, i used to steal the magazine and put it under my pillow. i literally put it under my pillow, my sister would go, where is my "tean beat"? and then she founded, why do you have the magazine open to a picture of david cassidy? >> kevin: he had great hair. >> greg: i thought he was a girl. anyway. if you could have something named after you, what would it be? a building, a road, a food item? katie? >> katie: a national park. >> greg: oh, that's nice. i was going to say something

that would get me fired. >> katie: or an ocean. >> greg: ocean? there's like four of them. [laughter] how about a planet? >> kevin: i just want statues in my honor. on this network as a democrat. >> greg: your allies would tear it down because you are a white male. jesse? >> jesse: and alcohol. like a nice branded bourbon. >> greg: i'll have a jesse watters. what's in a jesse watters? it's like really sour. >> jesse: go ahead, greg. what else is it? >> greg: it's a shot of -- >> judge jeanine: bitter! >> greg: it's only -- never mind. judge? why am i saying never mind? >> judge jeanine: a high heel. a gorgeous high heel that everybody likes, that has the

arch that's kind of, you know. >> greg: i was supposed to have a statue, jesse. what happened to that? >> jesse: it's in the works. but because of inflation it is getting very expensive. >> katie: don't you have a bottle had? >> greg: and also a doll. "one more thing" is up next. ♪ ♪ ( ♪ ♪ ) start your day with nature made. the #1 pharmacist recommended vitamin and supplement brand. dad is a legend. and his legendary moves might be passed down to you. get ancestrydna and see which traits were inherited, where they came from, and who you share them with. discover what makes you legendary with ancestrydna. (vo) if you have graves' disease... ...and blurry vision, you need clear answers. people with graves' could also get thyroid eye disease, or t-e-d, which may need a different doctor.

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♪ ♪ >> jesse: it's time now for "one more thing," greg, greg. us before we have a great show, we have dagen mcdowell, andrew, cat tif is tonight. let's do this. greg celebrity round up. i bet i've a few sightings. to check this one out over here. brian stelter going out and having some health food they are, he is eating i yam out of the local salad bar. he is trying to drop some weight, but it's not doing too well. do we have -- let's see who this is, right

now? look, feeding time at "those of you" having fun at the cove. they have a cove outside of the arena as they call it. there is joy enjoying a nice sprig of water. that's it. >> jesse: cowboy fans are the worst, look at this guy, total derelict, you can catch me come i have to close my door toprol my window up. nice try, takes him on a wild high-speed chase. sorry, dude. here come the handcuffs. you are under arrest. probably not his first time. go eagles. tonight jesse watters prime time, asking people on the street, should job item drop out? >> who is more mentally fit to be president? >> donald trump, 100%. from the greatest man that said that, and the trump tower, is it a biden tower? no. >> jesse: you can't beat that,

there is no biden tower. judge. >> judge jeanine: it's time for... ♪ ♪ i have to change that picture. today is national pecan day. and to celebrate we have some peak on pi to indulge in before we take off for the rnc next week. dagan, everybody else did. >> jesse: where did you get it from? spew on the national pie day people. >> katie: there's a woman in her 20s who got swept out to see while swimming at a beach in japan, by miracle she was found 37 hours later drifting in a swing ring for 50 miles offshore, she was spotted by a cargo ship and she was saved, great job, everybody.