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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  July 20, 2024 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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>> i'm like joe biden. >> yes you are. >> she wanted again. the street is still intact and it's not one of those everybody gets a trophy show. we don't have the budget for more than one yellowjacket. [laughter] you've earned the yellowjacket ladies and gentlemen. we thank you for watching's fox news saturday night with jimmy failla. 10:00 p.m. every saturday right here on the fox news channel. don't forget to follow us on social media at fn saturday night. for more on me, a city near you a couple of stops left on the everybody calm down to her and the tickets are on sale now at fox across america.com. you can listen to my radio show weekdays noon to 3:00 p.m. eastern, good night from new york city. i am your bank man, i will see you next alex and the children, be a republican, the democrat, just don't be -- [cheering] ♪r ]
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>> greg: yes. yes! i agree. i agree. i agree. all right, settle down you girl scouts. it is friday you know what that means. let's welcome tonight's guest. she talks with her hands more than marly magdalene. emily compagno. she is where louis vuitton meets the octagon. charly arnolt! he looks like a hobo went to harvard. tv producer rob long! and she is super thin with an impish grin, new york best-selling time author kat timpf.
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okay,, before we get to some new stories let's do this. >> announcer: greg's leftovers. >> greg: this is where i read the jokes that we did not use today or this week. what is wrong with the teleprompter? thank you. as always, it is my first time reading them. so if they suck, we will have joe mackey's computer loaded with images of nancy pelosi in a bikini. at this year's high energy are and see the walls of the convention arena were ready to collapse from all of the cheers and applause. fortunately they found the man to put a stop to that. donald trump made his ticket last night delivering the longest convention speech ever. by the time he was done talking,
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matt gate needed more botox. last night hulk hogan made an appearance of ripping off his shirt and flexing his muscles. it was the most masculine performance at the convention since randy weingarten. after revealing that he had contracted covid-19 on wednesday job it but -- biden looked tired and weak. but as of wednesday doctors have upgraded his condition to terrible. despite repeated calls to step down by many prominent democrats, joe still refuses to go. them, this guy still keeps hanging on says one man. a new report claims that 65 % of
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democrats want president biden to pull out. 100 % of joe biden wish hunter had pulled out. thank you. airports were shut down and flights were grounded all over the country today due to an it outage, joe biden blamed this man. apparently the trumpet shooter threatened to put bombs and school bathrooms years before his failed assassination attempt. i know what that is like we have had a guy blowing up our bathrooms four years. chris christie was a guest on the view this morning. he only agreed to do it because it makes him look thin it. thank you.
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president biden is pushing term limits for supreme court justices by planning to have them do more outdoor speeches. dizzy -- disney has removed the character live her lips met gravel after concerns that the name was insensitive to alcoholics. they gave her a new name that reflects her values trying mick beard face. barbra streisand's husband turned 84 yesterday. he spent the day the same way he always does, praying for the same -- sweet release of death. let's talk about stuff. so that was quite a week. culminating last night and appearances by kid rock, hulk hogan, dana white, and of course
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donald trump. if there was any more testosterone and expendable sequel would have broken out. it may be a party and it sure felt like one. there were more balloons there than in hunter's ass on a trip from regatta. e., it also felt like a pirate ship. tough, grizzled characters who nod at poverty. who do not care how you look or what you do for a living as long as you're willing to fight and have a good time. on this pirate ship all that was missing were a few parents, a barrel of rum, and a plank in case one got too rowdy. also in this pirate ship oddly was an opera singer. [ ♪ ] [ ♪ ]
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>> greg: look at him going. that is christopher mott she owed no relation to ralph. singing patinas -- puccini's nest a doormat. kind of stands out from polk, kid rock, and dana white. usually when i hear opera i think italian and when i think italian i think this. [ ♪ ] >> greg: if you ask me trump sure knows how to send a message. he did not even have to decapitate a horse to do it. of course the critics were out in force saying that trump's speech was too long. the guy get shot days earlier
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and criticism is his speech length. trump aired on over delivering and if that is all you have we will give it to you. really given the choice between a shorter speech by an incoherent invalid with covid-19 and dementia, and the wounded warrior who just survived a crazed attacker i think the republicans have the winning hand here. sure, it was too long, everybody know. who cares? when you going to do tell the guy who almost died for his country to cut it short? just because you want to get back to the hotel to molest your minibar? but, hey,, i thought it was too long to. in fact i sat there for so long i'm still waiting to regate -- regained feeling in my ass. but trump earned that night and he did not want it to end. the audience needed him and he needed the audience as well. it was the first time he was in front of thousands since the shooting. think about that he had to do that to go out there and relive it and hope for a better ending.
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the fact is, this guy has taken more abuse than jerry nadler's toilet. in a way so have you. his comeback was your comeback. a countries come back. but the press makes the same mistake over and over again. they think this is for them. it is not. the people in the arena? they do not give eight -- what you think. you spent four years hiding a vegetable and now you criticize a guy who nearly gets his head blown off for a long speech? -- you. >> they were asleep, they were tired it was a long, rambling speech. >> are remarkably long and dishonest acceptance speech. >> greg: when they are not obsessive -- obsessing about his
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speech they are obsessing about some of the youngest in his family. >> i know his grandchildren was up there and they are trying to humanize him and change your idea about who this guy is. do not fall for that front. >> greg: sorry, humanizing trump is the only way to make what pete not view him as food. it is inconceivable without a president could love his granddaughter. i guess they got used to just having joe. let them complain if it keeps them from solving their own the bigger problems which are many it is a win. not bad for the greatest pirate ship on earth. too bad the media missed the boat. that was a 90 minute speech. emily, if you read the speech it would be over in seven minutes.
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>> maybe six. >> greg: what did you make of it? the criticism. it seems kind of strange they would do it out of context of what happened this week. >> it also underscores how out of touch the media has been during the entire administration. americans cannot turn off inflation. they cannot turn off the grief of the 13 families of the servicemen that lost their lives because of a disastrous afghanistan pull out. we cannot turn off the malays we cannot turn off the unemployment there were things we cannot turn off. for the media to spin this as well he not just stop so i can get back to bed? want to stop so i can get back to his administration? >> greg: the point is you cannot turn that stuff off but they can just turn off the tv. >> yes. yes. and trump devoted so much of the time to honouring corey comperatore that he took his
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sweet time as he should. this was his time. for them to lump it out and with the new york times saying this is the most awful, self-indulgent speech of our time when all he was calling for was unity in representing americans. the problem the media in the left has with this is that it was not just about trump and actually about americans for once. [applause] >> greg: you are a sports lady i believe that is a professional term. but you are quite young i do not know if you get this analogy. but when i talk about the pirate ship this campaign it just reminds me of the oakland raiders which were hybrids. in the 1970s team it did not matter what you looked like, it did not matter what race you were as long as you had a mission and went out there to say just when, maybe! you were allowed on the ship. i think that is why trump has so many odd, to spirit allies from all over the place.
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you have strange actors, whatever. i guess my point is it seems like a larger tent then the democrats could ever get using their identity politics. >> what does it take to identify with joe biden? that would be talking down about yourself, right? but when you look at trump and what he just went through on saturday he is the definition of a warrior. he is a fighter. he is exactly what we need and want for this country. so many people can identify with that that is exactly why he why he had dana white introduced him. he asked him to do this weeks ago because he said i want somebody who truly knows the definition of a fighter. i want that to be relayed on to me at the rnc. even mark zuckerberg suddenly speaking highly of donald trump calmly commit bad ass. years ago we never would've heard mark zuckerberg say a positive word about donald trump.
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but so many people are now starting to relate with donald trump. i think that says something. not only many people can relate to donald trump but also noticing the difference between the democratic party and the republican party. the republican party full of strong, tanned men. whereas the democratic party will of weak men and also i guess weak women. >> greg: yes. you know, rob. [applause] >> greg: charlie's point, it seems like the shooting kind of gave the opening for people to say trump is not so bad. zuckerberg is a good example. now he can say now i understand it. now it is okay. the fake reason for you to finally say maybe i finally vote for him what did you think of the whole thing? >> i have to say it was a long speech. i mean he was sweating i was ready to, it was a long speech. grandpa should have wrapped it up. whenever we go see something's
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movie you are asking what do you think about the movie? it could always lose a little time. >> greg: yes. >> on the other hand you look at the convention. 2020 we did not really have convention 2020. the last row convention was 2016. was this weird, it didn't really work. the republican party and trump did not even know each other. it looked like a really bad blind date. this one was like ultra. the big lights that had trump on them. only trump could get away with that kind of show business. the last person who had their name like that was liza minnelli. something where they show business about him. but it worked. a lot of these guys and celebrities have come to republican conventions before. always that awkward thing with the republican candidates. i mr hulk hogan, how are you? but this is trump's party. he has turned it into kind of a
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fun show. he has turned it into only us old farts will know battle for the network stars. suzanne somers and dolphin shorts up against gabe chaplin! but i think the most amazing thing about trump right now is that the bandage on his ear on anybody else would look stupid. it is a weird looking bandage. it is like a box? what is in a box. i don't get it. but somehow his complete go to hell attitude totally works. he looks good even with that stupid bandage. >> greg: i know, it is crazy. it is crazy, kat. i thank we may be took it for granted that it was a pretty seamless it, disciplined event. we have been to worse events. >> i have certainly been to worse events. i do not think that is i mean i do not know. sorry, i have not slept yet. i wish i had a grandchild to humanize me.
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>> greg: that you know of. >> unfortunately there are several steps i would need to take id would need to have gotten started on stuff a long time ago. >> greg: definitely. >> that was funny to me as well. all of the politicians use their families to humanize them. speaking of grandma's the funniest thing for me was how many of your guys as a grandma's out there were like this close seconds away from flashing kid rock. i thought for a second i was going to see some boobies. it is funny how many of those women who would say why are you yelling at me on twitter for my skirt being too short? you are not like that one kid rock is in the room, grandma. they were gyrating about. >> greg: yes. >> i have never seen anything quite like it. >> greg: i think whoopi goldberg was picking the wrong battles. you could not find a more
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appealing person than that granddaughter. >> beautiful young woman being caged on by old women. >> greg: and i don't have my glasses. but kat timpf is trump's granddaughter? that explains a lot. >> i have searched up the granddaughters. >> greg: before we go, as you know, our great friend luke jobs passed away. he was on a red eye and also on the first episode of the gutfeld show. so let's just take a fun look at one of our favourites gets. >> here we are. >> i do not know, lu do i have to go to work? and i go to work with you? >> you will be fine and if it gives you any trouble just ignore it. >> he is constantly following me in the halls. >> in the halls? >> in the halls. >> well, ignore it. >> all right, i will try.
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thanks, luke. >> have fun. >> i will try. >> great? >> yes? >> did you forget something? >> thanks. need a platter? >> exactly. greg? this? >> thanks. i almost forgot. thanks. >> greg? and this? >> oh, yes,, thanks. i almost forgot. uncle stephen. >> and this? >> okay. anything else? the brother. thinks! we will see you. [applause] >> greg: up next morgan's bail as joe gets frail.
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>> a story and five words. >> greg: is the biden coup under what? rob, democratic -- democrat officials have ramped up calls for democrats to withdraw. party donors threatening to withdraw money if he stays. do you agree with my theory that all of these stories are put out that might actually be false and it is a coup by political erosion to make it seem like joe is about to go so they actually will it to become true even though it is not. almost like a coup.
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>> like fake momentum. >> greg: yes. >> respectfully, i do not think that is what happening. i thank they go into her room, they sit down with him, and they say look, they lay it out, and then he understands and he says, okay, i will drop out. and then they walked to the door and they say thank you mr president for making this decision and then he says what decision. and then they have to come back and they have to do the whole thing again. he says you are right i totally should drop out they get up they go to the door they say thank you mr president and he asked what decision again. and they come back. so he has both dropped out and not dropped out. that is where we are. i thank it is happening. >> greg: quantum physics. like the person who has memory issues. schrödinger's kat. is that a life or is it dead? not alive or dead.
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i think he may have to go even if the pressure is not from delegates or voters. it is the pressure from this democrat meeting machine which you could legitimately say is an attack on democracy. >> yes. it is also a shame that the democratic apparatus for so long tried to keep under wraps how physically and mentally shot this man actually is. there is no way for him to do his job successfully in the state that he isn't right now we know this. unfortunately joe biden is so worried about becoming a nonentity in washington which he was for so many years before becoming president that he is not going to allow anybody to bully him out of his job. the only person i believe that could probably help to assure -- usher him into a new era is his family. we know that jill has a lot of influence on his decision making. i think that would have happened
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that would've helped to cement everything in stone earlier this week. joe biden almost made out with a woman that he thought was jill biden. it was real. there was a loving look at his eyes. it looked like he wanted to go in for it. jill swooped in. but if things would have happened quickly enough and they would have locked lips? jill would have been that is that you were out of here that's go. >> when people get super old did they just pretend to not know who their wife is? >> greg: yes. that is one of the joys of growing old. >> yes. >> greg: no officer, you are in my rife peer up -- wife. so ray. the officer says you will not make me a rest that old confused man, are you? >> i always thought the best thing about getting old is you can say whatever you want and people will get mad at you that is true i had not considered that. >> greg: but apparently in the white house it is just jill and hunter. everybody is gone. >> i feel like people know what
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it is like to be betrayed by somebody that you trusted. somebody in your inner circle they were down for you. they don't really talk anymore. it is devastating. right. but if i do not remember all of the good times it would be a lot easier. i wonder what he is going through honestly. because you are right we do not hear from him that often. when we do i do not know what we would do. if we hear him. does he know. that is what i want to know is does he know that all these people have betrayed him or does he not really notice? >> greg: it is like trump got shot in the head but biden is the one acting like he has a head injury. but i think the problem is we keep forgetting that there are a lot of people who believe that joe biden's job is to run for president. actually his job is to be president. which is pretty scary that is my next question to you, emily. this is not just about the race.
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we have five, six months to go and he is in charge. but he is not fit. it is more urgent than the race. it is the presidency now. >> why it is such a farce to a point. this has been happening for years. remember two years ago trumpet sounded the alarm about a senior cabinet official talking about his mental acuity. people have died the economy has plummeted we are all suffering you are correct he should be removed immediately. what i find interesting is how it used to be puppeteering from the back. obama, nancy pelosi, we had reports that when shira came out was actually pelosi doing it when what's his face wrote of letter with obama saying just get this out there. people had processes. but now it is clear obama through his spokespeople does not deny that he called. i think what is happening, however, is that biden is like a know. i got passed over i was always obama shadow.
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he is not going anywhere. it is literally like those shirts like raters against everybody. to treat against everybody. right now and it biden said it is biden versus everybody with jill and hunter cheering him on so he is not going anywhere despite the odds. >> greg: it biden said it is like a cookie time. (vo) kate made progress with her mental health, but her medication caused unintentional movements in her face, hands, and feet called tardive dyskinesia, or td. so her doctor prescribed austedo xr— a once-daily, extended-release td treatment for adults. ♪ as you go with austedo ♪ austedo xr significantly reduced kate's td movements. some people saw a response as early as 2 weeks. with austedo xr, kate can stay on her mental health meds— (kate) aww! hi buddy! (vo) austedo xr can cause depression, suicidal thoughts, or actions in patients with huntington's disease. pay close attention to and call your doctor if you become depressed, have sudden changes in mood, or have suicidal thoughts. don't take if you have liver problems,
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>> five more words. >> greg: five more boards. climate change makes life longer. charly, new research indicates that the earth rotation is slowing down as melting polar ice shifts the mass around the earth's equator. days or if you think it's longer. can you explain the science to me? >> i love climate change of this is true because i am always complaining about how the days are too short.
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i wish i only had more type albeit it is only a few milliseconds per day. but i want to take this time to say thank you to the made up folks called climate change if this is in fact true to discuss it further i would like to offer myself a trip to the mediterranean on mark zuckerberg's new megayacht. $300 million, 278 feet. i feel like that is the perfect place to have a discussion about climate change. >> greg: especially being out in nature. just a few milliseconds longer but that adds up over a lifetime. >> definitely true. this has been the longest day of my whole life. it feels like 37 hours or something. you guys, think about the millions of times when you almost take the subway and you take it by a second maybe you will make that flight or the subway and this will stretch out
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the time. >> greg: or you might get hit by the car because you got there sooner. and if the milliseconds was not there you would not have been hit by the car and therefore you have to sue earth. >> and then you would have more time to wait out the litigation. >> but the science behind it is that because the ice is melting the earth's not around anymore. it is a weird shape. it is slowing down because it is kind of awesome. what shape is earth going to be? >> greg: you know, rob, this is just another hoax that will implode. have you noticed that nobody is talking about climate change at all in the last year because there was so much other stuff going on? ones we revisited we already know that the climate models are completely chaotic. the idea you can measure the temperature of the earth? nobody has ever questioned that what you cannot do it. all of this is bull.
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we are just finding that out. >> they are running out of things to declare the emergency. obviously we will all die. the oceans will rise we won't live underwater and have to wear gills. overall it will be freezing good we will have mega storms all the time. and now it is like we are getting composed of the time is different now. like i do not understand time anyway. so i don't really accept i have actually noticed that the days are getting longer. i'm glad this came out because i was feeling a little bit like wow an extra millisecond here. but you wait another week and it will find some other arcane think that we have to be terrified about. >> greg: it is garbage. i mean, the thing is the american public has become so cynical we talked about how the media lied about biden's health for years.
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we talk about social distancing bs, russian collision, the laptop. so many examples of them telling us that they have the facts that they never did. so screw you and your stupid hoax. do you know what we would do next? we will show you another wonderful little skit involving to me and the big d. >> how was the show. >> just drive. >> same place? >> do they know we are coming? >> everything is all set up exactly the way you asked. >> including the wax? >> hot, and about it. >> the way i like it. let's get the hell out of here. >> here we go. i love that.
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>> greg: you were watching mailing it in. first question this is interesting. soup 1948 asked either he was born in 1948 or he was the 1948 person to be called sioux. >> or he is eating a can of soup from them. >> greg: he asks would you take a jump in terms cabinet? which position and why? kat, i know you hate government, but what if they offered you a position and you could make it whatever it is? >> i have no interest in being part of the government ever. no. but if i could do something where i could remove the government and shut things down i would take that from anybody. if they said do you want to come in here and shut things down i would say yes, i do glad you asked. >> greg: you can be the efficiency expert. >> i would check out a lot of stuff and everybody would be saying this bad stuff about me i
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would be like i'm used to that i don't care you are shut down. >> greg: yes! >> greg: shut that [beep] down, emily. >> well i was not going to curse. >> greg: what would you like to do? >> i would like to do anything that gives me clearance for aliens and the jfk assassination. i am saying what we all want right now obviously. is that it would tell you guys. and then the ambassador to the vatican. on a yacht at all times. >> greg: charly? >> i would take a position within department of homeland security. i have a lot of friends from my past lives in the ww 80, in the nfl, and i feel like they would make much better protection for donald trump then the people we saw on saturday. >> greg: rob? >> i was going to say that i
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would like to be secretary of defence. i feel i am qualified. >> greg: why? >> it is kind of cool. you get to start wars. kind of fun. >> greg: just a little bit. >> but now i think homeland security may be because i will issue an order that all airport tsa agents can now wear uniforms that are the appropriate size. >> greg: yes. do the -- do you thank they share? do you thank they share jackets? >> i do not know. but they need xl and xxl. and not excess. they get the jacket at the same place that restaurants get jackets for people who do not wear jackets to restaurants. >> greg: you have to wear a coat. we have one on the hanger. and all of them are really big.
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>> but i would be ambassador to the united arab emirates. is that a place? >> yes. >> good. because like the commercials for the airlines. whenever i see the airline adds i thank i could stay there forever. >> i would shut that down. not good. >> few. >> greg: up next our final views on a week of news.
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>> greg: we will talk a little bit more about the kvetching. a little bit of like work was done. >> i went out and talk to the people. >> greg: yes. >> i have some footage. >> i would like to see the footage. [ ♪ ]
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>> have you had to arrest anybody yet? >> very quiet everybody has been well behaved and having a good time. >> how drum to somebody need to get to get arrested? >> this is all about keeping the peace. it has to be pretty good. >> were you worried that when you got here somebody else to be wearing the exact same hat? >> no. >> what you think about jojo see what? >> about who? >> do you think that jojo see what will be okay? >> i do not know who that is. >> who do you think a sexier? travis kelsey or donald trump? >> donald trump. >> is there anything else you love more than donald trump? >> absolutely not. >> tell him i love him. >> want me to tell you -- him
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you love him? >> i love you, greg. >> that is gossip. are there any delegates that people have an alliance against the other delegates? >> you ever see that thing at wrigley field? >> i see life with andy cohen. >> something like that. tennessee sucks. florida is awesome. stuff like that. >> carl versus lindsay on summerhouse? >> now lindsay is pregnant. >> what are you going to do? >> there are people drinking yardstick frozen drinks i think it is only a matter of time before somebody got pregnant if not already they will be. >> where else is a better place to make love? make america great again. make a child who will continue on the american dream this is a great place to an pregnant. >> you heard it here first, folks. >> greg: what did you learn from mixing with the people?
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>> they love trump. >> greg: yes. >> you guys got nothing on some of the people that were there. >> greg: rob, any final thoughts or words of wisdom about what will happen next? >> i hope more show business. i think this is act i. going to have to have a bottle of network stars. water acrobatics. >> greg: i disagree i think we in the third act. the first act was 2016. the second act was an intermission or 2020. and now we are back -- back. >> but i have this image in my mind to mind to this and good will from 1976 of liberace in the sequin hotpants. i think that eventually trump aware that between now and november at some point. >> greg: liberace was a stud. the amount of women he bank to? >> guy? oh boy. >> greg: emily, what are your
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thoughts? you did not go to the conference, did you? >> i'm sorry i was busy holding down all of new york by myself. that is why the lights are still on. you guys got back here and the lights are still on because the two of us how down the fort. >> greg: here is a question. do you have any reductions for the democratic national convention? >> if ever there was a show for radio only. >> there you go. >> greg: it is interesting that all of the real excitement was inside the convention it, not outside. i think that will be the opposite at the democratic national convention. all the craziness will be outside. do you sense anything? do you sense another hoax coming from the media? trump is doing too well. >> of course. the more miserable the liberal media is the more dumb their
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narratives get so i have no doubt that my brain will be hurting tremendously in the next is that a word? tremendously? >> i think it is immensely and tremendously put together. >> greg: they show. >> all of the stupid liberal media. >> greg: don't worry somebody can run for president. i have often said nobody leaves the studio smarter. >> no. >> greg: that would not be fair why put that pressure on you? now i am smart. one thing i noticed. christopher steele. remember him? here is the scoop, he kicked up the whole collusion hoax. he pretty much almost ruined this country. he is now back saying that trump poses a greater risk to the country. it is kind of like the band is getting back together. you know. >> so this is not necessarily act three.
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>> greg: prequel. >> no, the prologue. >> greg: the amount of power i have two/ideas out of people. >> i do not recognize myself. >> greg: all right, we have to move on. we will be right back. ♪ that colonoscopy for getting screened ♪ ♪ is why i'm delaying ♪ ♪ i heard i had a choice ♪ ♪ i know the name, that's what i'm saying ♪ -cologuard®? -cologuard. cologuard! -screen for colon cancer. -at home, like you want. -you the man! -actually, he's a box. cologuard is a one-of-a-kind way to screen for colon cancer that's effective and non-invasive. it's for people 45+ at average risk, not high risk. false positive and negative results may occur.
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...without the stuff you don't. so, here's to now. boost. >> greg: thank you to the studio audience on fox tonight. [ cheering and applause

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