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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  July 25, 2024 7:00pm-8:00pm PDT

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>> bringing her own personal insight. at collection time you get to decide. every thursday america is streaming. [ ♪♪ ] >> sean: unfortunately that is all the time we have left this evening. thank you for making this show possible. set your dvr so you never missed an episode of "hannity". in the meantime let not your heart be troubled. greg is next to put a smile on your face. have a good one. [ ♪♪ ]
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[ ♪♪ ] >> greg: yes. yes. all right, all right. don't worry. do not worry there was more than enough of me to go around. happy thursday, everyone. last night in a primetime address at the oval office joe biden said it was time to step aside. this is the most exercise he has had in a while. in the roughly 10 minute address tried and attempted to list his accomplishments that left him with 10 minutes. [applause] i'll take it. during the address by then said he is passing the torch to the next generation. but is not really necessary? it is not like democrats have
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already been doing a good enough job burning everything to the ground. of course,, joe has a long history with fire. when ever he is in the room people are always lighting matches. [applause] but still he is passing the torch. i suppose he does not want to be cremated. or maybe he does. sceptics claim the address was not life because the time on his watch did not seem to match the time of his speech. at this point who really knows? the white house aides are excited that joe biden is out with his watch battery. with the camera at the speech were several of his family, including hunter and ashley. keeping them there was the only
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way to ensure that hunter kept his clothes on. meanwhile, biden's seventh grandchild was there as well. about 750 miles off camera. if you were looking for or any answers from joe biden's address last night fat chance he never answered questions he only generates more of them. here is one. why did his team gave him the same spray tan as trump? he looks like he is wearing a biden mask. he looks like a jack-o'-lantern in the hot sun with a burnt out candle. was the local and ballmer going on vacation? and told jill i better put a coat on him in case something happens while i'm in aruba? as for the point of the speech good luck -- luck finding one.
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he has to withdraw just to end on a high note? hey,, my life is so great i think i will kill myself. abe lincoln, franklin roosevelt, but he seems more likely and henry harrison, sack retailer -- zachary taylor, warren harvey. he talked about honesty, decency, respect, and other things he could not pronounce and really practised. hell, he could have talked about skydiving, pool vaulting, and powerlifting and it would have been more believable. as usual he promised to tell us the truth. he would have crossed his fingers but he cannot. here is a whopper. >> securing our border. boarding crop -- border crossings are lower today than
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when the previous administration left -- left the office. >> greg: no. at this point viewers wish they got shot in the ear. what he did not do was the answer to the one question on everybody's mind besides are you wearing pants behind that desk? why did you drop out of the race on twitter but still stay on as president. he did not say. that is like making a speech about the sexiest tv host without mentioning me. he did say something about passing the torch to a new generation which we all know is a jfk line. well if you came in plagiarizing might as well go out that way as well. [applause] thank you. that means a lot. so is passing the torch more like passing the wind? although the presidency is not a kingdom it is about saving
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democracy they say. each time the democracy ends less and left. he did talk about thirteenmak got -- democracy but impacted with the and word. but it is just his way of saying that trump is a threat to democracy without being blamed if another not shoot him. we saw in dc yesterday the party promising safety sure does love to attack people and vandalized. and also not have clear primaries. the party that wants to save democracy makes it illegal to vote. eliminates safe spaces for women's, and suppresses stories and social media if they hint at descent. meanwhile they expand the rights of criminals which limit your freedoms to live. so biden all but admits he is too old to run but not too old
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to be president. you cannot come up with a good excuse for him leaving the race without its meaning that he must resign. also he has two months left. perhaps because he did not do squat by the office. he even promised to cure cancer. by january. >> i will keep fighting for cancer removal so we can and cancer as we know it because we can do it. >> greg: no. no you were not. the only thing he would do in the next six months is scraped his dinner plate into a drawer and tried to turn the tv on by pointing tissue at it. -- his shoe at it. i bet he accidentally votes for trump. [applause] so he mangled a
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scripted speech even forgetting what sentences were even about. >> on that day i told you that winter we were... winter parallel and winter possibilities pair of possibilities. >> greg: he sounds like a [beep] weatherman. and we are supposed to be fine with him continuing to serve as president? you cannot serve as a coat rack. still to media fond of. >> this was a speech for the history books just as when lbj announced he would not run for reelection. this is the type of speech that will be replayed for decades to come. >> greg: replayed for decades at medical schools to teach students with dementia looks like. [applause] continue.
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>> he asked the question is character still matter? it does not. the kid with a stud or did good. he did good. a good man. >> this moment puts them with a bunch of american greats. the george washington's of the world. >> this was selfless on a level in the way that we talked about george washington being selfless. >> greg: the only thing he has in common with george washington is body temperature. if the media spend any more time on their knees they would be stars on porn hub. what does dr jill think about all of this? the one who hit him from the public and the sun? she tweeted thank you for your trust and joe now it is time to put your trust in kamala. then she fled to france to watch
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the olympics. she is a fan of the dead lift. the woman who lied to us about his health wants us to trust the other woman who lied to us about joe's health. i have been lied to by women enough, not to mention people who told me that they were women. you know what the family did afterward. they all had ice cream. that is what you do after you get your tonsils out. the problem is this tonsil is still there, a lump of tissue that gets is of the infected, and one you could easily do without. >> his jokes last longer than his marriage. after jamie lissow. chael sonnen! she is from detroit but her hair
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is from india. new york times best-selling author kat timpf. and he uses traffic cones as earbuds. new york times best-selling author tyrus. >> greg: watching biden last night must have been too wistful because you have been thrown out of your house before so you must have had some sympathy. >> and interesting point that when you lose the presidency you lose your house. that is crazy that that happened to me. i never thought about that. i had watched the speech but then i realized at the end of the speech is it just me or did he say it was half off winter apparel. thank god he is stepping down. i think we should have a rule that if you cannot pass a
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roadside sobriety test when you were sober you cannot be president. could he do anything? walking a straight line i don't think the guy could say the off of it forward. >> greg: you know but be funny? if he got drunk he could pass the sobriety test. he might stop slurring when he gets drunk. all i have to say is a canadian is say it -- comedian is save some of that for the eulogy. >> greg: i'm just saying you are going to have to write on new material. was i the only one watching for the switch to flip? >> greg: is there some sort of fighting an analogy here where a fighter retires but he is still fighting and he could die at any moment? this seems like a plot to a
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movement -- movie. >> can i make something clear? i have never seen the super bowl. i never watched the best-of-seven. i have seen every political debate there is. i even one never serve the fbi. i know a lot about politics and i will tell you right now because nobody else has made this clear you do not just get on a ballot all 50 states have their own rules. that expires on friday. they cannot just do this. however, there is one thing, the sitting president is seeking reelection is entitled to a spot on the ballot make no mistake joe is not only planning to step down he has to step down. he has no choice to get kamala on the ballot you heard it here first. >> greg: kat, i thought he was a jock. >> he is, we're just really
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smart. >> greg: you look great by the way why do you look so young? the haircut? >> the hat. everything i just said i take back. >> greg: as long as you two guys do not beat me up. or maybe. kat, what did you make of the speech last night. did you watch. it was only 11, 10 minutes. >> i expected a little bit more i do not know why. what i did expect was the one that everybody is saying it is obviously all ridiculous. saying that he did this selflessly as if he and his family are not loaded. absurd but what else do you expect? jamie, it is very similar to the way that people talk at a funeral. have you ever bit at a funeral be honest. you hear the things people are saying and you were like i do not know if i remember them like that.
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for him it is probably kind of cool. very adventures of tom sawyer. he got to hear what people would say about him at his funeral. it really did have the same five. you cannot expect people to be like well that was... because he is already gone. he will not run again. it was both gross and predictable. >> greg: an interesting point, tyrus, when he gets out of politics that was his whole life. what does he have? >> to be fair, it is not like he is going to have to think about it too much. >> greg: what is on his bucket list? >> every day is a new day. >> greg: on his bucket list is p. in a bucket. >> if it was my situation i would take certain parts of the house and dress them up. one day he can be president again. and wait to get the gym to work out.
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tried to make his last days excite to get you every day. >> greg: but as competitors there was nothing that we see actually impressed with somebody to quit? never. you are giving the finals away? that is not honourable. >> he quit like any other person who was being told to retire or be fired. that was not a passing of the torch. to your point the donors had no money not just for you but for everybody. low and behold if you take money away from the democrats they all get on the same page. everybody came in and here is the deal. all of these talking points are the same. the white house is writing what they want the so-called journalists to say because they also the same thing. a big word to use was george washington. he is just like george washington. i guess if i am woke i would be like that explains the wooden teeth and slaves running around. they forget they have already ruined george washington for us. he is supposed to be taken off
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the monument. so they make zero cents. this was not a fall on your sword, this was a stabbing in the back. >> greg: up next how can you forget when harris plays roulette? our families safer, and our planet cleaner. to help us get there, america's plastic makers are investing billions of dollars to create innovative products and new recycling technologies for sustainable change. because when you push for smarter solutions, big things can happen.
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with absorbine pro, pain won't hold you back from your passions. it's the only solution with two max-strength anesthetics to deliver the strongest numbing pain relief available. so, do your thing like a pro, pain-free. absorbine pro. >> greg: he is back. jesse is back to haunt kamala. let me fill you in. the chicago detective who exposed jc simm alex race hoax is warning voters about kamala harris because of her infamous support of him.
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reminding him that her 2019 tweet praising his character is still up any highlights it was her rush to make a public statement without knowing the facts and how such poor judgement harmed the justice system. she cannot be trusted. what say you, chael? >> he just -- they decided he was crazy they tried to put him in a loony bin. he was going out at three in the morning quit it was 11 degrees in chicago. he spent more time of the restaurant than at home. that in and of itself was a little bit of a crazy thing. nobody has heard about the vice president. would like to say it is one heartbeat away from the president but the president knows that. he knows believe it or not he can be shot and assassinated. the vice president is a doofus. that's what you have that roll it protects yourself from that. i don't say that to be funny. like with hillary clinton whatever happened to ryan.
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just within my lifetime. not a serious role. it is a role for it doofus is who are never meant to be president. it is very true. not bad at his job either. beautiful eyes. a little bit of a bad rap. but the most confusing thing that joe biden ever did was putting on biden. i'm talking about barack obama why did he run for president? america cannot have been more clear we did not want this guy but you had a black man who was nervous. that was a very real thing particularly back then he did not want to be shot or 25th amendment. the vp is never meant to be president make share you understand that. >> greg: i got it. >> that is why i always write in my replacement. >> when i am not here i have... as my backup.
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kat, who is here backup? >> greg: play along, please. why does she still have the tweet up? >> because she can. because why america has not said enough yet. i feel like i am beating a dead horse here. which is actually okay because it is white. so is the same thing is there joey reads on tv. why are these people allowed to be racist hatemongers with no repercussions? because the virtue signallers are okay with that. so when somebody holds are accountable we need to hold her accountable in november. it does not matter it should not matter who is running this is a problem that upsets me. it is not about kamala, it is not about joel, is about a shadow government that a sea of the american people. -- deceived the american people.
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but even then we are finding a way to blow this race. if we get into a street fight with kamala harris we will win and he will say awesome things and everything he says is going to make voters say i do not like this. run on policy. this is a good time to take jd vance to mara lago and scotland. go play golf for three weeks let the honeymoon wear off and then they will remember who she is. because right now there is the whole package, glitter and all of this stuff. just let them play it out and then stick with policies. >> greg: what do you think, kat? >> i think there are a lot of reasons to not vote for her and why she should not be president. i do not understand how this is one of them. because millions of people fell for this. >> greg: know i would say 10 people fell for it and they
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spread it. >> i fell for a scammer. okay? you fell for the same one. >> greg: which one? >> you know what i am talking about. but they were friends they knew each other. scammers are good at terming with people. i had a person sleeping in my bed who was stealing from me and i did not even know about it. again, i just think that i do not think anybody is going to be convinced by this. i think that she obviously made a huge mistake because obviously i think that she'd be a horrible president but i do not think the fact that she fell for something who was her friend i mean who among us has not fallen for somebodies [beep]? >> greg: i see your point but at the same time we are involved in this terrible time of riots and protest. it would have been nice not to inflame it.
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it would have been nice to set the temperature down. i am not pro jussie smollett. >> i am saying that you are, kat. >> greg: all right jamie. why would she leave the tweet up? you have fallen for some scams before. >> that was a 16 year scam. >> greg: yes, she leaves the tweet up with an people go wired to take it down. why would he have staged this attack when he can walk around waiting to be attacked in new york city? >> also, i hate his name. i think that jesse is the -- jussie smollett is the result of parents naming their child with their mouth closed. it is a stupid name. her sister is like that is her
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is just a second. my favourite part of this story is what happened to the attackers? did they get in trouble? >> they have a reality show i think. >> nothing happened to them. i was like they have to be criminals but nothing really happened because they did not really do anything. that is why whenever i get caught doing something i go you are not jussie smollett. >> do not forget he did not comp to it. other people really do not care is to leave the tweet up to it. >> the person who stole from he said it was a fluid situation. >> can you please just tell us what happened? >> greg: america does not need to know this. >> this is why you come to the show. show. everybody's about to get up. >> greg: up next trump get shot, kamala with chronic migraine before they start. and treatment is 4 times a year.
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>> greg: trump still out in force since the democrats switched their horse. the former presidents rally in charlotte, north carolina. he was supposed to be a nice. >> you know, it was supposed to be a nice. they say something happened to me when i got shot i became nice. and when you are dealing with these people they are very dangerous people when you were dealing with them you cannot be too nice. so if you do not mind i am not going to be nice. is that okay? >> greg: walking out of the scorsese movie. regarding kamala the fake news which said that she was incompetent a dopey stiff. >> the fake news a month ago it
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said she was incompetent, a stiff, a dopey stiff, nobody talked to her. she was firing her staff left and right the staff hates her. wait until the stories come out about her. >> greg: and she supports they'll. she wants no bail if you murder somebody just go home and relax. >> she supports ending cash bail a nationwide. she wants no bail. if you want to murder somebody just go home and relax. >> greg: i guess that explains why hillary endorses kamala. kat, i thought perhaps he might mellow but i like the fact that he dresses himself off the bat -- addresses it right off the bat. if he thought i would be nicer no. >> this would not be popular but i cannot help but think that
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saying the other side is as dangerous divisive rhetoric as well. do you not agree with that. he said that, he said they are dangerous and i do not like rhetoric like that coming from anybody. i can also say that i did think he was going to be nicer. i liked it when he was nice. when he spoke at the republican national conference about his experience i was like wow, what a different side that i have not seen. so i think a somebody saying that you are nice is not always bad. i do not know. it fires up the base. everybody is laughing people love it. i get why he does it. >> i do not love but i hate it. i say it looked young man, you will sit and be nice until you cross the finish line november 6 and then you can have a temper tantrum. you will be nice. you will be calm. okay?
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you will not seek the treasure. i know was a smart ass and the god who loves to trash talk in every sense of the way at one point a football coach was like how do you breathe. you never shut up. we just hear you we thought you were making audible calls and you are reciting about this guy's mom the whole game which by the way she was there and a very nice women. but the point is she does not want you to be nice. kamala is going to walk into the debate like this, hit me, please hit me. and he will cite as anger. he talks about dumb stuff like she is a woman with kat. why? why do republican men politicians seem to think that you are going to get any votes by talking about a woman's body in any way? shut up. play golf, stop.
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but i feel like dr evil. we know what is going to happen you are going to make this race close because you are going to street fight. >> greg: i do not see anything about her body and missed that. is there something else? >> i catwoman. >> greg: but i mean, woman our problem. >> , women vote. >> greg: i thought when he called her i catwoman was like the superhero. i do not think trump ever brought up pets but go ahead. >> i don't remember the café. i like when he turns into a roach. he called her lion kamala heres i think he can work on that one. laughing, you can go cuckoo kamala harris. so many good ones. you did not want to be against trump. can you imagine. he would be like oh loser lissow. i would hate that.
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okay,, here is why i do not understand why people got biden's speech put him in his to be. when we listen to donald trump talk it is like what is in his head and often he is talking off the top of his head. when you hear biden talk he is talking off the top of his teleprompter he has no idea what he is saying. so i don't understand getting excited or upset about what he says he is not the one. he is just a puppet. saying do not [beep] your pants america. and he was like know that was for you. but now that my mind is on it there is nothing i can do. i do not fault him for notes. i have notes. you were hilarious, keep going. >> greg: you know what is interesting. it is funny that in a way trump is the least sexist person because he does not go light on women. he will make fun of jamie or
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janie. he does not care but everybody is used to it. >> he is running this campaign like a fight. whether it is coming up with nicknames and that is all psychology. at the end of the date let me back up the psychology. why kill a man when you can kill an idea? if that shooter changed trump even for a better he wanted. that was the point and trump fell for that for about three or four days where people thought he would come out and be nicer. you cannot. you cannot change him and go the other way. you cannot be more angry and more nice. the shooter never happened that is the only way to show that you are defeated. what a great point. we must move on.
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>> the war on kill me.
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>> greg: liberal scumbags smear the anger that i hold dear. the bottom of my jokes becomes the left's latest hoax. yesterday high profile democrats from an x senator to the dnc chair pounced on a brian kilmeade because they claim that they misheard him say the word college claiming that he said a racial slur. >> showing up for the joint session of college she would rather address in the summer college sorority. >> greg: that clip spread faster than bacon grease on joy behar its pillow. they are claiming that he said coloured, not college. and he addressed that this morning. >> people thought i said it disparaging word instead of college sorority. it turns out the person who did
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that is part of the washington correspondents association they walked it back and corrected it but he did not stop for four or five hours people like jimmy harrison head of the dnc calling me a clown. they are looking to label anyone at any time a racist, sexist, misogynist. i won't go back on the things that i say. >> greg: if anybody gets to call him a clown it is me. he is at work, a tool, a thorn in my side. i do not like his face or his body spray. he is possibly apple state of health. to put that in their? but he is not a racist. the leftists put me in the inevitable position of defending him when i should be putting dog poop in his office. he said college they said coloured. >> anybody who did not take the time about -- to know about... kill me the work he did with ufc?
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he helped about it. he has done more for black history than any of the people calling him names about it. in one of his books he wrote this is guy who loves his job of the things he loves most about his job is being fair and being right. he is the type of guy he will give you the shirt off his back and his pants. that is who he is. and i cannot tell you of all of the jobs that he has i will tell you right now walking to the other side of the office and saying hello what you do? to need anything? this is who kilmeade is. it is laughable. he is the one guy you can look at his track record and when it comes to race you could not say one bad thing about him. from the bottom of my heart [beep] for saying that about him. >> greg: chael, what is really weird about this is one of the people that went after him is claire mccaskill former senator
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who now lives on twitter and sits there and it is so obviously wrong. it is like they did not care. >> what is the point of having a friend if they are not going to be there when you need them? that defence was beautiful and that made me look at you differently and respect you. if you have a friend he will defend them. she was friends with... did i say it wrong? >> you say the preferred... >> not to mention kilmeade did not say the word it. but cannot tell you guys when i look at biden i think of him as weak. but he is not pardoning his own sun. i do not understand that. you were not going to help your own son? a father in politics they are away from the family and chasing their own careers it is like they are bettering something else when it is really for yourself. you do not pardon the kid when
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he needs it? that is not how you look out for a friend or a sun. >> greg: i like how you pulled that in there. jay me this was a deliberate misreading they know what they heard it. >> that is the real issue with it. and then if you look at a retraction what is that? until elon musk invented neural link that removes your hearing for the first time so many people just heard that. i remember retraction does anything happen to this person? >> there was a reporter from the white house correspondent two runs the association. he barely retracted it. >> and i remember my x. wife retracted our wedding vows. i think it was more of a correction she put another guy's name in there. >> i hope that kilmeade is okay from this. >> greg: i hope he isn't. >> i have a love-hate relationship with kilmeade i
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love when the show ends i hate when it comes on. but you must believe that they heard the wrong word and they went out to blast him. >> they could have easily fact checked it it would've been so easy. >> greg: what do you think, kat? >> i do not think it is possible to overstate just how harmful this is. when you break this down the reason this happens is because it has been done so many times before. you do want to talk about things that our dangerous but why would they lead us to believe incorrect assumptions about each other. believing that people are enemies for reasons that are not real. people who heard this they somehow think i mean think about this. everybody who watches fox knows that fox is a place where you can say something like that. >> i am not here. >> just continue on the show and no afterwards you go on the radio show that would be fine and nobody would say anything to
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you. that is unhinged. that is crazy to think that if it happens to you and it happens to me there were things that they say that we are saying something we are not saying. alike talked about a completely different subject and they said i was actually talking about this. if there where they would be no way that i would work the next day. but this is i just... i feel for kilmeade. it is so disgusting. >> greg: more stuff on the way. than tylenol rapid release gels. because advil targets pain at the source of inflammation. so for faster pain relief, advil the pain away.
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>> et cetera et cetera you guessed it, et cetera. >> i guess obama says he's not going to back allah but what you want to talk about? >> i appreciate that. let me tell you a quick story from an outsider of the great dave chapelle. he didn't opening monologue and i happen to remember when he invited kamala harris to his green room, she brought a friend an inch -- and introduced him, it was the mayor of san francisco. she thought it was funny that somebody was a barack obama fan, call them on the phone and it turned out to what -- they went to school together and they were all friends. when dave chapelle said this, there's even been reports that obama and kamala harris are second cousins, that's not true but were they classmates o canada yes. with all good friends?
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yes. the family is all tied together, obama is going to back her peer she's going to become the president, that's not a conspiracy, that's the rules. >> to his point he is not going to endorse because twitter is not big enough for that [ bleep ]. it's went to be at the dnc and him and michelle will walk out and they will stand up and be like i'm here to endorse and the roof is going to go because they don't have hulk hogan so they have to go barack. they're going to cheer and chant and she's going to come up there and get the rub. >> the vp pick, she's going to dangle that rumour of michelle until the end. >> she needs a white boring guy. >> she needs kill me. >> obama is clearly leaking certain things he doesn't want to have to say.
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he doesn't want to be that involved. why would he do that? is counting his money. >> that's true, somewhere, we don't know where he is. where were you? >> aisle most got the rub once, it was an extra 60 bucks. i don't think she should be president because of my role that you should not be able to be president if you can't pass a roadsides a variety test. she would fail it because she was drunk. >> she does like her wind appeared she is a wine connoisseur. >> people say she doesn't have her own kids. read in her defence that she found out her laugh is a dominant trait and she doesn't want to pass it on. >> on that note, we shall pass it on.
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