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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  August 15, 2024 7:00pm-8:00pm PDT

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[ ♪♪ ] >> unfortunately that is all the time i have left this evening. thank you for being with us and make initial possible. we hope you'll set your dvr monday through friday 9 eastern right here on the fox news channel so you never ever miss an episode of hannity. good news in the meantime let not your heart be troubled. greg gutfeld is up next to put a smile on your face. have a great night.
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[ ♪♪ ] >> let it wash over me. you're at elation is appropriate. happy thursday everybody. according tore up or president biden is angry at nancy pelosi for assuring him out the door but he understands why she didn't do it face to face since hers was out for repairs. cheap shot. and under 5 weeks judge marchand will sentence donald trump and the presidential nominee could go to jail. on the bright side of trump wears an orange jumpsuit he will make it. the world health organization has declared a global emergency due to monkeypox and recommends until this blows over used only
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have sex with orangutans. look at them. they won't give you monkeypox. astronauts are still marooned on the international space station. nasa still must find a way to get home. every time they think they're close to rescue gilligan [ bleep ] it up. [ laughter ] stupid but it worked. the saudi arabia and man, aren't they all, earned a guinness world record by hooking up 444 videogame consoles to a single tv. now if he could only hook up with a woman. following complaints from tiny actra peter dinklage disney's snow white reboot will feature cgi doors instead of little people. costing the company millions when they had to digitally edit the original cast.
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she's not even looking. not even paying attention. all right. may be pay attention to the show dana. >> i'm afraid i have nothing for the block so i'm worried spee maturing speech this week tim walz defended himself against those accusing him of stolen valour saying quote backgrounds of four-star general in korea we would have shot people for that. a robot using google's deep 9 day i is able to be to human at table tennis. keep in mind this is the human. it's not like he watches. all right.
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you know what democrats hate the most besides student loan payments and me? it's when you see exactly what they are doing which is usually something that involves loop and american taxpayer's [ bleep ]. whom i kidding. there's no lube. every day the mainstream media there's a headline that goes republicans pounds. republicans seized or they might switch it up and say republicans accused and invariably the thing republicans or pouncing are seizing on is something the dems are actually doing. case in point near times as a glowing piece this week titled immigrants are becoming us citizens at fastest clip in years. the lead adding new citizens say they are looking forward to voting in november. you don't saying. the whole piece brags about how many new immigrants air pumping through the system and how many of them are going to vote in addition to all the illegals they are letting in every single
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day of course that's a democratic control states have gained congressional seats as president trump tried to end this by forcing the census to ban all noncitizens but will when a biden's first acts was reverse this policy while opening the border to millions of illegal with a goal to increase how many electoral votes states have an elections because those votes are based on the number of resident class as determined by the census. so by including the illegals a state can gain extra votes in congress. so it's no wonder the same libs who freak out over gentrification want wide-open borders. got her bed and urban neighbourhood to get the whole foods but ms-13 sets of shop on the corner that just more votes. but back to the times piece for 1 expert notes the surgeon naturalization efficiency is potentially reshaping the electric months before pivotal election. every citizenship application could be vote that decides
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senate seats or even presidency for the dems of course. since new citizens overwhelmingly tend to be democrat instead of republican. 1 not vote for the people who promise you free stuff and after another election when new citizens realize the democrats song. there's a new wave of naïve voters coming in. they cannot win if everybody knows better. got to keep pumping and new rubes to exploit. they are playing chess while the republicans are playing with themselves. but when we shout see as the dems do the thing they're outright bragging about they call you a big get for noticing this replacement theory. they don't call it replacing, they call it reshaping. the dems do this a lot. it's never their fault for cheating. it is your fault for noticing. trump moves to ty harris divide on the economy.
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they are a team. we're supposed to forget joe and call milan that model and cannor's combo since toothpaste and orange juice. but how dare you assume they are a team. just because they ran as a biden harris team. call and said they went team jones up until last month. joe said tell kamala harris menti-meter i love her as he bit down on his feeding tube and drifted towards purgatory. that's trump lying again. trump looked up into the sky is blue. they would say not at night you liar. before the debate call a low was the deadweight. now that joe is the anger dragging her down the dems are desperately sighing at that team. in 2020 dems demanded joe select a black woman and as his running mate. no white women, no man not even drag queens. sorry liz cheney. so he went with the 1 who called him a racist for opposing
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busing, never guessing someday she would chuck him under 1. now they scream when we point out the yes kamala was a dea higher. the dems demand diversity but then it's your fault for noticing. finally how about when a male prisoner who talks his way into a women's prison where he goes around raping everybody. is it his fault, then they'd these send those fault? no it is yours for noticing. the dems embrace policies that once exposed to make them look bad. so they call you racist. fact is if they can pass a law that would throw you in jail every time you notice there [ bleep ] they would do it tomorrow. [ cheering and applause ] >> let's welcome tonight's guest. she once interned as music box ballerina. america's newsroom dana perino. women throw their borrowers at
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him because they want him to wear a bra. comedian joe matthews. he's had more ups and downs than opera's weight. comedian dave landau. she's got a book and a baby on the way. and for ten dollars she will sign both. new york times best-selling author. good to see you as always. >> it has been hours. >> greg: it's been hours. is an interesting and clever that is called a reshaping instead of replacing? >> that was good spin. gold medal for that if you are in the spin on the backs. press secretary coming with that. that's not even from the government but the media. they come up with that. i was thinking about if i wanted to reshape something i would buy spanks. if i wanted to replace something
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i would get a boob job. but i'm not going to do either of those things. instead i will just be myself. that's all you get. that's all it is. 1 other thing. i think in some ways people are thinking about this in the wrong way. for people who are worried this means all of a sudden all the guys from venezuela have come across the border. other citizens are voting for the democrats. that's what's happening. you are married to an immigrant. i am married to an immigrant. we went through the proper way. >> and the same immigrant. a lot of people don't know that. we are in a multiple spouse marriage. it's unusual. >> it's worked out with a well. peter is such a great cook. >> thankfully. elayna can really do the dishes well. amazing.
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>> greg: sexist. >> as i would say. but here's the thing. in the last 3 years the biden harris of menstruation has done a terrible job at the border. who is the most mad about that? immigrants. so the people that are getting citizenship now all the ones who have been in the pipeline for years waiting for this opportunity if you look at the numbers before the biden dropout, trump is doing better with hispanics in particular and with black americans. the latest fox pole trump has black americans who drifted towards him. they have not gone back to the democrats even have after harrises come on board. so i don't think this means the immigrants are becoming citizens all of a sudden we are voting democrat this time around, the republicans have a chance. >> greg: well done. well joe you look great. >> thank you greg. i dressed appropriately for being on the talk show. didn't just show up and a t-shirt.
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>> greg: i like the dress shirt and jacket combo. you look kind of like mark cuban [ laughter ] >> i'm going to get, i'm going to start with my talking points. you know what bothers me about all this is if you think about it, the media has given a bad connotation to the word pounce. pouncing is a good thing in my world okay. it's a basketball game. you see joe pounce on the rebound? joe pounced on the free doughnuts. julia bandera is single. time for me to pounce. i don't understand why the media is not pouncing on all the horrible outcomes of policies from biden to harris. they are the ones who should be pouncing. instead they propagate fake or nuanced statistics like
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unemployment goes down. it goes down when people quit and give up looking for work. they quit and and makes the statistics look good. quitting should not make you look good except when i quit pouncing on all the doughnuts. >> i apologize for making reference but we are leaving it in. you know it's interesting? i called you david. either way. >> i go with dave. >> if somebody cause me up for whatever i believe in has a conservative i am okay. but when you do it with the left they always say i don't believe that. they always run screaming from things they believe in our try to redefine or call you a name for pointing it out. >> absolutely. if you're talking about this especially with reshaping is very interesting like looting a store wayne reid on 14th
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street calling shopping. this is amazing to me because the other countries are sending us their worst and they have admitted it. this is your new neighbour coming to your house to let you know he's on a sex offender registry and your response is cool. you want to babysit? >> now they are here to vote and have to pretend they are not stealing. if you bring it up to anybody on that side they get furious with you. they just admitted it. they just admitted they brought in a bunch of people and gave them jobs and security numbers. they call it reshaping. >> greg: yes reshaping. it sucks because dana makes a great point. immigrants are generally way more conservative than democrats give them credit for. >> and they are way more racist by far. it's jarring. there racist against other immigrants entering people.
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it's insane. >> you can have a cabdriver that rips another cabdriver based on race and i gulak what you got again 7 snacks wrong stuff you never even heard like i didn't even others a stereotype of guatemala. i learned stuff every day. >> exactly. what say you. there's an open-ended question. >> i'm not democrat. so what i'm about to say is not part of my plan to have a bunch of voters for the team that i'm not on. my view on immigration is very simple. anybody nonviolent who wants contribute to our economy should be welcome to do so. i take that contribute to our economy part seriously though. any problems i have with this or not about the immigrants themselves but about free stuff. when you're giving them their incentives to come why would they not come and have the hotel room and the money and everything else. when it comes to how they are but they believe ideologically
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i'm offer a free marketplace of ideas so if you have this one-sided arguing this thing for you throw your own ideas out there. mol about free markets free ideas but not free stuff. that's a great point because you want immigrants to come here for opportunity not free stuff. and i think most immigrants want opportunity but what we are seeing is just the free stuff and you can't really blame him if they come here getting phones and hotel rooms at nice hotels that you can't even afford. >> whose fault is that. >> knock it off. mark cuban's weird brother. you are like the college version of shark tank. >> these are all compliments.
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♪ it's coming your way it's video over the day ♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> greg: trump holds oppressor to prove kamala is lesser. are video of the day comes from donald trump's press conference in new jersey. that's a state cat. when asked if he would continue with personal attacks against kamala i wonder if he's very angry at her. >> i'm very angry she would weaponized the justice system against me and other people. very angry at her. i think i'm entitled to personal attacks. i don't have a lot of respect for her. i don't have a lot of respect
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for her intelligence. >> greg: i'm entitled to it. i wonder if people know who she is. >> i don't think people know who she is. people didn't know. you could ask the man on the street. i saw it on 1 of the shows. what's the last name of kamala. nobody new. it is harris. nobody knew the last name. i don't even use it because nobody knows who i'm talking about. people don't know who she is. she's a radical left socialist but beyond that she's way beyond socialism. who is going to destroy our country. and when they find out i think they will see something. but not even knowing her and with all of the cover of time magazine, they didn't put a picture. they got a great artist to do it. what was that all about? >> they don't want you to be a little bit nasty. they want you in prison.
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you. >> they don't want me to be a little bit nasty. they want to put me in prison. me. and everybody said lock her up. i used to go easy. just ease it. then we won. i said wouldn't it be terrible. some people are upset when i did this but you have to look at it may be differently now. i say wouldn't it be terrible to put the wife of the president former president of united states into a prison. think of that. hillary clinton secretary of state. she was the wife of a president of the united states who used to be a friend of mine before i ran for politics. he was a friend of mine. used to play my golf course. i have a great golf course right next to home in westchester. used to be there all the time. his his favourite course. >> favourite course. i bet trump tends to polo low in some cases really low. >> i tend to poll low in some
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cases with a low. 2016 hours polling low because people don't want to say they are voting for. i don't off that's good or bad but is what it is. >> finally you have windmills and you have birds. you want to see a bird cemetery just go under a windmill. >> windmills all over the place and birds. you want to see bird cemetery going to the windmill. thousands of birds dead here if you kill an eagle they put you in jail for years and yet windmills knock them out like nothing. >> they knock them out like nothing joe. >> people deny that like giant swords in the sky. they're going to kill birds. those were the funniest clips but to me the most impactful when he went through the groceries and send this is what this used to cost. this cost this now. that's a kitchen table issue the stuff you put on your kitchen table issue.
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it is the second best kitchen table issue after the cost of kitchen tables. but i will say this. the more press conferences trump gives the more of a spotlight puts on kamala for not giving any press conferences. pretty sure she is challenging the street. she treats the press like i treated girls i like in junior high. like hey you guys talk me up to them so i don't have to talk to them. tell them i know anything about star wars. >> how did that work out? >> i didn't have many dates. >> greg: what did you make of what you saw? >> i watched a bit and loved how we talked about wiping out endangered species the green deal. what i love about his trumpism's. he's said i'm a big fan of electricity.
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and i thought, yeah, me too. i get that. ms-13 are wonderful people. they are wonderful pillars. this is my second favourite 1. it's amazing what he's got with the press. immediately they get hostile and he knows how to take it. biden the other day he doesn't know how to do things to get the slightest bit hostile. he gets angry like bill clinton complaining about teeth. >> i don't get it. >> greg: i am with you dana. >> they have been very nice to him for a long time. just enjoy your ride. >> greg: do you think he wins over anybody knew? does he remind people that he will be entertaining maybe?
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>> i think that talk about the groceries and things like that may be. but then the thing is he cannot do this regardless. he obviously takes the opposite approach of kamala. we have yet to hear from her other than teleprompter speech and that's pretty much it. this is his second press conference in a week. i was like is that really true but it is. he also loves it. he 7 fun doing this which made me think do you think kamala is jealous? i think she has fun but they won't let her do it which is quite interesting. he really has fun. he's talking about bald eagles been killed by windmills and campaign speech. he's having a great time. we've got to hear from her at some point. i really-- >> greg: it would be nice to hear from her. >> he wants to do this. does she want to?
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>> greg: good question. may be we should ask her. >> greg: we don't know or she is. what was the biggest problem of today? >> i have a main 1 and second 1. you'll hear from kamala harris tomorrow. this is why he did the speech about the economy today and had pictures of the groceries. she's come up with this cockamamie idea the government should take over grocery stores and set all the prices. some of those migrants coming across from venezuela my degree that's a great policy. it's not a good 1. my high school economics class was more sophisticated than than what she's going to say tomorrow. so i like the idea of what he would do today but he didn't stick to the message. he said all the words. are some people entertaining. even if you are on the fence you might say entertaining. what were the 3 things taken away? free enterprise. but the biggest problem is the timing.
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maybe this the only our but started 4:40 pm. finished at 5:25 pm and took questions till 6:00. that meant that the 5 the best player on the field doesn't get to be on the so show so thai kamala harris and biden and the of the things you have talked. he should have done that. >> i was going to say that but didn't want him to get mad. >> greg: that's what he's therefore. come on. news. i'm nexen on theirou g i'm nexen on theirou g anti-israel fool leaves an ivy league school. at harbor freigh. save even more at our parking lot sale this weekend
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than a year citing the ongoing anti-israel protest and the turmoil on her and her family. she's been criticized for not adequately addressing anti-semitism on campus. are you surprised she quit. >> not at all. i'm surprised she's going back to the uk like i'm going to go back to where there's more in a can complain about it. it's like leaving the weinstein company to go back to porn. and what's odd is her position students have mixed emotions. would you even know who that was at your school? you wouldn't carolyn for some reason may have mixed emotions why? nobody told you have to feel about it. that's what it is. >> greg: who would take this job? i think you and take it. what would you do? >> i would take it. for me the framework already exists for how to handle this
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which is the first amendment. so all speech allowed by the first amendment is allowed by things and breaking windows are not covered on the first amendment. encampments are not covered but you have to apply those standards to all speech whether it was progressive a conservative. >> so i agree 100% with you but i would also have like, you know, if they broke anything i would just lay down the wall. drag them through the streets. throw them in jail. >> i don't think the constitution allows you to drag them through the streets. >> greg: i don't think you have read the constitution. >> you think you can try to petition for an amendment i suppose. drag them through the streets amendment. >> greg: what about big fire hoses? >> you could do that on. >> greg: i think you can be a free-speech absolutist by the when they break the law you are
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a law absolutist. >> the framework is already there. these things that are covered in things that are absolutely not covered but just apply it consistently. there's conservative speech on campus but no more shining that down over. >> greg: it seems to me that everybody in academia who has stepped down does so because they didn't step up. what do you think about the turn of phrase america? >> what's the common thread? [ applause ] >> you don't have to applaud. >> greg: what is the common thread? >> a sexist would say. >> greg: there are women. >> i have a point. women if you get in the place of position when you're going to be the first woman vice president and they give you an assignment and its you are in charge of the border then you better do the [ bleep ] out of the border. crush the border.
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i complete i said that. >> it makes me so mad women have worked so hard to achieve these positions and then they crumble in the first year. the first year. kamala harris made the borders are in march of 2021 was like actually know thank you. that's not an option. this woman not only did she say anti-semitism is not a hate crime or whatever, the other 2 get fired or resigned that she holds on hers was worse. this woman did not backup custodians held hostage by people who are not even students of the university and she didn't back him up the next day and they were afraid to come to work and that's custodians that work for them. not only were the students of rain but there and protecting her own snack. she didn't do right by the women who aspire to be in positions like that. [ cheering and applause ] >> greg: let me condense what dana said to check so i right?
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>> there great. i wish they would ask me but i would do. i would rule with my own fist and make the kids invite me to all the parties. but the craziest part is she feels that columbia miserably and then gets a job she's more qualified for working at the un where they are totally fine with bigotry against jews. >> greg: that's so true. >> kind of dark ending but it's poignant. >> greg: that's okay. i'm used to dark endings. that doesn't even make sense. >> that's disgusting. >> greg: i apologize. coming up eminem is frustrated. trump is not more hated.
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[ cheering and applause ] >> greg: cabinet president trump and examine them grumpy. the real assumption enough and a 40 it's news to us. rowlett. >> when i start talking about trump i get too flustered in my head. and the [ bleep ] i want to say there's too many things i want to say at once. sometimes a start talking and i'm not able to convey the message the right way because i just get flustered and frustrated. watching him play to his base the things that he cares about them, and it's actually the people he cares about the [ bleep ] least. if you're talking about his core being majority white middle-class but i don't understand is how do you feel like you relate to a billionaire who's never known struggle his entire life. >> greg: trump got shot and brought about dozens of fully felonies. moore street creb then your
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flabby white [ bleep ] has more than 2 decades. he talks a good 1. >> i will say he talks a good 1. and if you're in his base your core you're going to the rallies or whatever you watch him on tv you hear him talking. part of me understands all right he is somehow still got them because he's brainwashing them into thinking something great is going to happen. nothing's happening. >> greg: nothing's happening by you so upset. seems to me brainwash might be coming from inside the house. it's really a shame 1 of our great rappers seems so dismissive of the hopes and desires of millions of americans. thank god we still have 1 white rapper left who's not so far removed from the street. >> my name is tiny d and i'm here to say i best funky fresh rains in a major way. i'm white like casper and gutted
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dog named jasper. if you don't think beyoncé fears me go ahead and ask her. stick with a jay-z but if you love your freedom pick me. that's me. >> you know you guys are hip-hop peers. what would you like to. >> reporter: eminem who seems like he's on the edge of may be figuring out that he might be wrong and it's messing with his head. >> 1 of the things are trump is that however, you feel about him you feel about and stronger. very few people are on the fence. kamala harris people on the fence select from needs to do is make more people think she's unlikable. she's kind of undefined and cursing to have to find her more. i think the stranger what eminem is when he plays to his base and his audience is he surprised those people think that he's great and he's for them? a look those wildly successful, you know, was buying stuff.
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>> that's a good point. may be treaty indoctrinated an identity politics. you are a fellow detroit or and a fan of eminem. >> yesterday. >> i'm never going to talk bad about eminem. >> i'm not asking you to. >> savchuk pivotal moment in my childhood at the grammys when everyone was like in his eminem homophobic and then his of the grammys doing this long and then there is centre enlightening to come out? elton john and iran was like elton john is gay. and then they wrapped together and what an icing he's not homophobic but friends with elton john. then they are friends and still friends in the world should be more like that today. >> i agree. thank you. >> your friends with elton john. >> i like some of his songs. they are very open-ended. it's okay for fighting, you
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know, it's okay. it's all right. he leaves it up to you. >> greg: yes saturday night. i have not listened to his catalogue in a while but when he said trump brainwash his people at his rallies that's not how you brainwash people. you make them afraid and hungry and isolate them from other ideas. that's how democrats get new democrats. but to the problem is eminem does not think people can empathize and that's true. a lot of fans of. >> reporter: like myself. huge rap head i don't have any life experience with busting and captain someone because they didn't give them their prompts but i can empathize that into my life. like if my boss at my writing job is in a bad mood i find i have to, you know, give him some comeuppance with a quick slam on his t-shirt at the start of the show.
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>> last word to you dave. i feel he's saying only poor people should listen to poor people. but then they just remain porous. >> pretty much. i'm also from detroit and alec eminem so to meet some of the good guy who just learned about politics are where think a politician give you false hope so i should just note democrat. the entire platform of kamala is full so. trying to paint her as obama 2.0 and it's just like saying melissa mccarthy is peter bankman-fried could sign the same thing. it said a lot of people are going to lose money and she will be the only 1 cackling. >> when i heard him and felt like i was listening to michael rapoport right before he realizes that maybe he should go outside and talk to other people and all of a sudden you doing go well navy i'm wrong.
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>> 5 more words. >> luna video resurfaces. thank god. i couldn't believe you e-mailed me this morning and said you demanded to have this on the show. it was a video from 2016 of florida congresswoman anna paulina luna posing in a meghan swimsuit she designed herself and it's driving liberals crazy. i'm so glad you pitched this to me this morning. i had nothing to do with that. you can relate to this right? people don't like attractive women. >> i'm not sure how i can relate to this. i can relate to has any woman can is being judged for what you wear and i think it's so pathetic. if you actually getting online to say there's some sort of
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moral judgment against a woman because of what she's wearing you better not have a real problem in your life because there is anything else more worthy of your attention grow-op get a life. you are a loser. people might look at this video and say to themselves i would not say this but why are women in the right just better looking >> i didn't say that. some people are saying that. >> i say it's because she doesn't have a bulge. and look for anybody criticizing her that's a latina woman wearing a one-piece bathing suit. that's practically a burqa in their community. [ laughter ] >> greg: unocal dana she's a
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sitting member of congress. if she were democrat this would be viewed as empowering. >> may be back dave still my job. i don't know if you have any others. the thing is there's a lot of mean girls in congress. it is still high school. it never ends. this high school mentality. you can see it in this and it also goes for the fact i'm thinking about the dnc next week and you'll have a lot of material for the show from all those folks who are going to be there. >> greg: none of them will look that good. that's for sure. some would say. not me. i don't see appearances. joe you are a notorious womanizing the theriault. >> i would argue if i could. >> greg: she has modelled in maxim, sports illustrated. these are the publications that you find women in your life.
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care to comment on this? >> yes, i agree conservative women are generally more beautiful of the ones i have pleasured, but i should add that most of the liberal women i have pleasured are well into their seventies. but if democrats think this is a winning strategy by hot shaming us attractive people we will just vote conservative. [ laughter ] >> greg: i am tired of hot shaming. we all take our pictures elsewhere. we'll be right back. [ cheering and applause ]
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