[ ♪♪ ] >> sean: before we go programming next week. we will be live from the democratic national convention in beautiful chicago. the only good thing about chicago is there hotdogs. we will bravely go where very few conservatives will be. it all starts on the night special coverage. "hannity", 9:00 pm. we will see you sunday night. this is all the time that we have left this evening. thank you for making the show possible. please set your dvr so we never missed an episode of "hannity". in the meantime let not your heart be troubled this friday night. we will see you sunday night. have a great weekend. [applause] [ ♪♪ ] [ ♪♪ ]

[ ♪♪ ] >> greg: okay. yes. all right. i expect nothing less. it is friday. you know what that means. that's welcome tonight's guests. her idea of live entertainment is a crawfish. cohost of the bottom line at fox business dagen mcdowell! he is an expert on the seventies. the decade, not silver hair sex spots. ricky cobb! she has a bun in the oven and belongs in a coven. new york times best-selling author kat timpf! he is stronger than my b. o. after a week in thailand.

new york times best-selling author, comedian, tyrus! all right. before we get to some new stories let's do this. [ ♪♪ ] >> greg's leftovers. >> greg: it is leftovers. i read the jokes that we did not use this week. as always it is my first time reading them. if they suck we will inject both of joe machi's arms with novocain and a delicious bolts of pasta in front of him. tim walz dog a scout was interviewed by vogue magazine. still no word on weather the dog, like walz, has no balls. >> cheap. >> greg: all take it. kamala harris, your website has nine options for pronoun. male, female, and seven options for randi weingarten.

scientists prove that patients in a vegetative state to have a -- kid in consciousness. i told you he could run, said one woman. kamala harris blew up rfk junior's request for a meeting. she said there was only room for one candidate with an annoying voice. i love him. in mary land a large part of the crowd of embarrass -- biden harris event after kamala gave the harris -- microphone to joe. to be fair joe just asked her to pull his finger. fart joke. nearly three quarters of americans believe kamala harris knew about biden's mental decline. the other quarter is there but.

i am glad you laughed at that one. i do not know where that was going two. the secret service is investigating whether one of its agents left her post while guarding donald trump in order to breast-feed her baby. they are also investigating the 12 agents who claimed to look away while she was doing it. where you put your eyes? the taliban took to the streets on the third anniversary of joe biden's withdrawal from afghanistan by driving the vehicles that the white house had left behind. in honour of joe they made sure to leave all of the left turn signals on. >> i like that one. >> greg: scientists have isolated the chemicals that give teenagers body older. that reminds me, i need to improve the ventilation in my rec room.

while. it is like you don't even know me. >> that is the joke. >> greg: they turn so quickly. >> that went dark fast. >> greg: joan basso's claims that her phone has been inundated with x-rated photos and foot fetish requests. those are just from dyck van dyck. america has caught a peruvian gang leader wanted for 23 murders. he was able to sweep -- slip into the country illegally. they hope to send a message to all illegal immigrants, only murder 22 people. an 11-year-old illegal immigrant was arrested in new york city as part of a mugging gang. city officials said an 11 year old should not be involved in crime, they should be in school having sex with their teachers. that one is okay? you people are sick.

austrian billionaire richard lochner has passed away at 91 just months after marrying a woman almost 50 years younger. i can relate, my high school girlfriend died the day after the prom. i wonder when she paid for that stock photo she knew that his habit would be used. hellmann's has partnered with tennessee titans quarterback where levi to create a mayonnaise scented fragrance. if you wear it there was no telling what scary creature will follow you home. cheap. you people. starbucks has fired ceo flaxman never shaman. the reason is nobody could spell his name right on the cup. stupid. stupid.

finally, an italian sprinter who won 11 national titles as a man will now compete as a woman in the paralympic games. and italian woman? no matter nobody bought it. where is the moustache. i know. disgusting and wrong. let's do the news. at first he would not budge. now joe holds a grudge. our zombie president is not just a laying ducky is a dead duck with nothing to do and everybody to hate. he is even snippy with the nice young priest who keeps administering the last rites. there was no love lost between him, kamala harris, the democrats, and all of those who sacrificed him to their leader, devil spawn nancy pelosi. or as most people know her, beelzebub. the new york times asks when

will they speak again? once close, biden and pelosi are at odds. it is true. since the ousting biden has had no face time with nancy pelosi. that includes the one that she wears in public and the two backups that she keeps in her purse. [applause] >> greg: did you see this video yesterday? biden and kamala's awkward first time together on a campaign trail in maryland. they have less chemistry then... and stoked. when biden is not piston his traitorous friends he is mad at the media. reporters ask him questions about the economy and wednesday. he act -- he acted like somebody put tabasco sauce in his morning. do not knock it. >> yes, i told you we had a soft landing we will have a soft landing on policies.

anyway. >> greg: is that not cute? he is like bruce willis in the six cents. he does not know that he is dead. heartless. really, if you want somebody to write what he says just do what larry kudlow does an order a cake. money talks. meanwhile, harris is trying to distance herself from joe because his policies are working about as well as says. she is also trying to distance herself from herself. she is running from the idiotic positions of her past like talent agents run from brian kinley. >> he is a friend. >> greg: meanwhile, the times is finally getting around to the hunter biden scandal. you remember hunter, he is the biden that does not draw flies.

apparently he sought help from the u.s. government for the ukrainian gas company whose board he served on all the while his dad is vp. hunter reportedly asked the u.s. ambassador to italy to help out marie smith. i have not seen optics that bad since i had to stand next to jesse watters of the year and no. it is funny how this is all coming out now. it seems like this news was deliberately head injury trumps impeachment and then suppressed until hunter joe no longer mattered. to believe that you have to believe the media has an agenda. what are the odds of that? it seems like joke has become the third wheel. when you, your best friends, and a girl or hanging out and you get the vibe that they want you to leave but they are not going to come out and say it. they just hope that you take the hint -- and. like when they start making out and you are expected to move from the coach between them. the hints were there for joe he just could not see them because somebody who lost their mind

does not know that they lost it. everybody else including kamala claiming he was sharp as attack. including our country in jeopardy. do you think the media with a confronter on that scandal. has announced at the same think about her? of course not, that would help trump. right now it is all about joy and nothing about the truce -- truth. [applause] >> greg: he feels like the guy that does not know when to leave, dagen, he is worse than a lame-duck. i feel pretty bad about it. except maybe he doesn't even know? >> i didn't want him to leave. the next four months will be the best. payback. as a committed lifelong grudge carrier you only get so much joy putting hexes on people in private.

the evil eye on a coworker. if you are alone what is the point of that? you do exact revenge in public. you watch him. he will make kamala do every imaginable event with him. he will rack his claw in her, raised a hand so she is inextricably linked to from the horse show of his presidency. she will start blabbing. blabbing about how all of her staffers quit over the last several years. and then as embattled, angry, elderly people, they will start making up nasty stuff about people they hate. biden certainly did that. he will call nancy pelosi like all nasty, sleazy, pit worker. when kamala leads... >> pit worker. >> what?

>> you better clap or she will put a hex on your privates. >> pit liquor. you have never met a pitlick or? >> is that one of the audience? >> if kamala loses you know what year was going to do? cheer and dance in public. >> greg: that is true. dr jill will be happy as well. ricky, welcome to the show. congratulations on your new show. >> thank you so much. >> greg: you do not know ricky if you are on twitter or now exhe is probably the best twitter account going. it is called what is it called? >> super 70 sports. >> greg: that is all you cover. that is amazing. >> i would like to think at a good day it is pretty good. >> greg: are you following this whole election season. what are your thoughts on this? >> it is ridiculous, really.

you look at kamala she is not talking to anybody. biden, they have been trying to hide biden. now biden is unleashed. there will be pits which get licked. it will be crazy. i think we are going into uncharted waters. >> greg: that should be a segment for jesse watters, uncharted waters. >> i want to kind of that. >> greg: you get 10 %. >> does he have a boat? he wears the shoes. >> greg: it should be his boat uncharted waters. that is where his i can't say that. i was going to pull a plug from dateline. but i guess i can't. kat, the same people who are saying joe is... are doing the same with kamala. and now we are supposed to trust them? what say you? >> i forgot about joe. i kind of did. >> greg: is he like a third wheel? >> no.

but it is kind of like that. he just you ever see somebody who has a really big wedding? i feel like that is how he stepped down. he was told if you step down you will be a hero. if you step down you will be such a hero you will be putting all of this above yourself. at first that was true. it seemed like that was all worth it. but he has to feel like the girl waking up after big of pride and now she is just some dude's wife. [applause] >> nobody is talking about you. what we have said we did to get him to do it. >> greg: basically pay for the wedding. >> yes. >> greg: tyrus, it is kind of funny that he just demands that the press right something.

i guess democrats are used to that. >> what you were going to see to dagen's point is you will see him start to blurt and splurged. you can say whatever he wants even though he will not remember half the [beep] he says. it will be entertaining. he has a little caveat. a little gift. we already know he is unfit to stand trial because of his condition. he can say whatever he wants. he is going to. the other side of it is if he start saying to march the 25th amendment will come in real quick and i do not think they are done with him. pelosi when she went into that room and everybody called him a backstab or she looked him dead in the eye. she did. [applause] >> greg: you know what we are not mentioning? dr jill. dr jill hits camelot, remember? >> she is voting for trump.

>> i am waiting for the biden endorsement speech. that is coming. >> greg: we have to move on. up next, if your pigment is lacking, tim's tacos are for snacking. if you will be at the new york area and would like tickets to see "gutfeld!" click on the link to join our studio audience. (♪) when you get your tools from harbor freight something about the job feels different - your wallet. whatever you do, do it for less, at harbor freight. save even more at our parking lot sale going on now

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>> it is coming your way. it is a video of the day. >> greg: walz falls on his face. talking with kamala.

>> i have white guy tacos. >> mayonnaise and what? >> pretty much, ground beef and cheese. >> do you put any flavour ring? >> no. here is the deal. they said to be careful. black pepper is the top of the spice level in this. >> greg: they should come up with a tim walz talk will. just an empty shell. so cautious when it comes to spices but reckless when it comes to leading his city burn to the ground. here is another clip from cnn of all places on how walz campaign lied to cover up his dui arrest. well it again. >> the dui story is replaceable. there is usually a paid speaker and a campaign spokesperson. so this idea that this came from his spokesperson and i did not come from him i do not buy it.

the idea he tried to lay off a hearing disability from the national guard service through the spokesperson while denying things that the k5 investigation proved to be inaccurate i think it's a real issue for him. to meet a dui he is bigger than the stolen valour allegations. not because of the drinking but because of the lie. >> greg: walz lied about his dui arrest claiming he was not drunk. he blamed his field sobriety test from hearing loss from his military service. i am surprised he also did not blame his blood alcohol level on storming the beach at normandy peer -- normandie. tyrus? have you ever heard of a white man taco? >> i prefer my tacos on women. [applause] >> having said that. >> greg: yes. >> yes, i have on several

occasions. i find it funny that he could sit there and let somebody say something super racist. this whole thing about only white people like mayonnaise is not fare. you do not get the get the market on mayonnaise. >> i love it. >> i like mayonnaise. i even like on my broker. a little bit of mayonnaise? mixed with ketchup? you make the secret sauce which is thousand island would do not tell my kid that. he should have came back. here is the think we are so tired of these fake meanings. you do not have any chemistry together. if you two came to my house and i had a table with two glasses of water you would have to say they were both poisons. it feels like murder. you should fire back. what kind of tacos do you eat? curry and watermelon? oh, no.

white people, stop taking this [beep]. >> greg: ricky, do you think that mayonnaise is specifically a white man's condiment? >> i do like it. greg, i am wondering is this show close caption for the alcohol impaired. that is what i want to know. >> greg: do you think that kamala drinks a lot? she sounds like it. >> kamala sounds like a mom that has had a couple of glasses of wine. too many. trying to keep up with the dinner conversation she does not really understand. you know how confused she is by the hand gesture. the more of this you see the more lost she is. >> greg: she turns into a weather person. she needs to be in front of a map. pointing at things.

kat, this dui stuff is interesting. like he was able to weave in the military experience that he was caught. driving almost 100 miles per hour. the thing is it is important because in the campaign in 2006, 2007 he said he was not drunk. that is a huge lie. >> yes. >> greg: stolen drunk valour. but you can talk about the tacos if you want. >> we can talk about either. he should have just gone to iraq if he wanted to keep using this. you can't have both. you can't keep talked about this stuff and not have it be real. but there is something wrong with you if think nobody will notice or nobody will care. now he is the vp nominee i guess people are explaining things away for him. i also do not think that white people taco is insulting. spicy food. why do i want to hurt my belt on purpose? i do not like it. are like ground beef, cheese, sour cream, tomatoes, let us.

i like it. are like mayonnaise. are the -- like to dip my pizza and ranch dressing. thank you. i like it. >> greg: good for you. thank you for your service. >> i will break the internet. i like it as well. >> good. >> i love the fact that how your race determines what you eat. >> greg: this is what happens when you forget about individuals and you only see people as part of groups. that is the end result. dagen, i thought i was the only person that could play up the white stereotypes when i introduced you to the audience. >> i am the colour of a... >> greg: what is your kind of taco? >> i have had enough of talking about tacos, particularly tim walz tacos. i do not want to hear any more about that. i do not want to think about him eating tacos. >> i thought white people tacos was just taco bell.

>> tyrus knows what i'm talking about. >> i do. >> but look at tim walz. he is 60. why does he look like that. and he is 60. what would a what has he been eating that he has aged that way? he looks like... a hunter. what has he ate? precious hummingbirds and the pet rabbits of neighbours children? by the way, in the dui arrest photo he is sort of wearing a fidel castro hat. if you squint it is a fidel castro hacked. he blew off the zero-point to.

higher than that that is about six drinks in an hour. a lot of problems there. starting with his looks. >> greg: all right. shall we move on. i think so. up next, secret service feeds a baby directly from an agent lady. it's tough to breathe and tough to keep wondering if this is as good as it gets. but trelegy has shown me that there's still beauty and breath to be had. because with three medicines in one inhaler, trelegy keeps my airways open and prevents future flare-ups. and with one dose a day, trelegy improves lung function so i can breathe more freely all day and night. trelegy won't replace a rescue inhaler for sudden breathing problems. tell your doctor if you have a heart condition or high blood pressure before taking it.

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great question. like everything, it takes a little planning. or, put the money towards a down-payment... ...on a ranch ...in montana ...with horses let's take a look at those scenarios. j.p. morgan wealth management has advisors in chase branches and tools, like wealth plan to keep you on track. when you're planning for it all... the answer is j.p. morgan wealth management. [ ♪♪ ] >> a story and five words. >> greg: five words. another sucky secret service story. kat, i can't even believe this is true. the secret service is investigating an incident where a female agent allegedly left her post at a recent trump campaign event in north carolina to breast-feed. sources say the woman was fist -- breast-feeding her child inside a room reserved for business with other family

members. the secret service has released a statement saying all employees of the secret service are held to a high standard. while there was no impact to the north carolina event this is being examined. interesting, they are examining this story but saying that it has no impact. who brings their baby to anything? >> yes. >> greg: i would not even bring a baby to baby farm. >> that would be the last place i would bring a baby. >> does greg have kids? >> once again this is unimaginable at any job. imagine again a cashier abandoning her post at a chipotle two breast-feed their baby. heads will roll out that chipotle. i want to have her is in charge

of this to take this from me, the chipotle test. when you are investigating the behaviour of our secret service agents singing would you do a one star yelp review if you saw this at your local chipotle? have the answer is yes than they are fired. >> greg: that is a good point. ricky, if you are an air traffic controller you cannot step away to breast-feed your kid. how was this somehow less important? >> it is all starting to make sense to me now. you cannot be up there lactating on a 10 degrees sloped roof. it is not going to happen. >> greg: incredible. you need the right angle. you know what i mean. i do not know where i am. dagen, it is not the lady's fault. is not management? that puts her in the position and is too scared to say you cannot do that because maybe

they will end up in hr for discriminating against a woman feeding her baby. >> then need a barren pitch like me storming again saying why is there a baby on the job site. this is the secret service. this is the nature of government now. everybody was probably afraid to say why is the baby here. why is she breast-feeding? by the way, since it is government to do we know it was a female breast-feeding? [applause] >> you can do some chest... take some drugs and an ex-wife can lactate nowadays.

>> greg: you know tyrus. >> i am going to stick with tacos. >> greg: you know i like to think. >> you are a thinker. >> greg: if i wanted to be an assassin all i would have to do is get all of the female agents pregnant. >> yes. greg, when you make a decision to make all of the woman pregnant you realize you have to raise the children. take it from me. rethink that one. what i want to know is the guy that you are protecting was shot at four and a half weeks ago. i think i am going to take the baby to work today. you must hate your child. where was the [beep] when she was working? was it on the roof? who was watching the baby? wasn't dressed like a little secret service and blasted?

chair link? is he collecting a check? >> greg: secret service may be. that is a movie. the guy that looks like a baby. >> oh, my god. >> greg: i got a job. >> where is the baby? do you have a guy for that? >> greg: at first i doubted this story until i saw that the way the secret service responded is it was not i did not heal. >> they did not say that is ridiculous. speed pursuit nobody would ever do that. are you crazy? they did not say that they said it had a no impact. >> it had an impact gonna. she couldn't pump? >> greg: no babysitters available that take you back. >> they made sure all of the babysitters were gone so they could keep the area safe. >> greg: exactly.

again, are we seeing the dk in standards and practices and everything now. it is not like the good old days when you breast-fed in private. >> good news she can set up a little baby chair right there. answer questions of. >> greg: the baby can wear a little go pro. all right. coming up. he says trump is always lying. now he is the one crying.

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at the alzheimer's association walk to end alzheimer's, this is why we walk. ♪ they're why we walk. ♪ we walk in the alzheimer's association walk to end alzheimer's because we're getting closer to beating this disease. join us. a caring man took a walk. he saw people suffering. anxiety ran high, hatred rose. i'll prepare a feast and bring them together he thought. but some refused to join him. he was heartbroken because he wanted everyone to be filled. not with food and wine, but with compassion. ♪ ♪

you got this. one - remember, i don't want surgery for my dupuytren's contracture. two - i want to be able to lay my hand flat. three - i want a nonsurgical recovery. four - i want options - nonsurgical options. and five... and if nonsurgical treatment isn't offered? i'll get a second opinion. let's go! take charge of your treatment. if you can't lay your hand flat, visit findahandspecialist.com to get started. >> tweet of the day. >> greg: he is fat and he is bald. his career has stalled the. are tweet of the day comes to us

from brian stelter. see and and fired media critic and current whiny little bitch. i am kidding, he is not that old. i used my e-mail address as special correspondent title. look at you. i received an e-mail saying goodbye request was denied it. the rejection. brian has not been this upset since he tested negative for. i do not know why. ricky, do you feel sorry for him? >> no. he has to be used to requests being denied it. i know he has tried before. >> greg: dagen, why does this

guy expect two to this thing win all he does is basically called trump a racist every 10 minutes. >> one don't you know who he is, greg? that is called dystocia. >> he is so desperate for attention. he will pace in front of the dunkin' donuts before it opens in the morning. >> greg: he would have lost some weight if that were the case. i have to factor check to you on that. >> fact check on you -- you on that. >> greg: like the story where they complained were they removed the trashcan from his apartment because he could not hit it with the wrappers from his lunch. do you remember that story? >> i think your dive into his life is not common knowledge. >> you went that -- went down that rabbit hole all by yourself.

>> greg: do you think we should hire him as our correspondent? give him gutfeld credentials? >> this is a lesson, when you on your resume, he said he was a credentialed journalistic, they did the right thing. tonight. if you said propagandist purpose looking for a sound right for kamala you would be an. >> greg: he seems to me, kat, like he has the biggest blind spot about himself. not only is he shocked he got denied he thought he would get some sort of sympathy by broadcasting that to the world. instead he was mercilessly mocked as one would deserve. >> i think that trump should have let him in because i think that this makes him seem more important. like i am so dangerous i was not allowed into the event. what kind of piece would i write against trump? i think that is how he sees

himself. i think that is how he is seeing this. >> greg: he might be considered dangerous because if you remember at the press conference there was a table that had all of that food there. there were props for inflation. maybe there was a legitimate concern that he would try to get too close and eat the props. >> i would do that at this point. i am starving. >> who is the motivational speaker at cnn? we need to hire that person. every one of them think that they are [beep] geniuses. who is there getting in the head. whoever it is we need to get them over here. their self-esteem is amazing. >> greg: that is true. >> and they suck. >> greg: they tell you you are great every day until they far you out of the blue. >> they fired him because he was too great.

>> greg: yes. all right. up next, before you go, we answer things that you want to know. have you tried these new febreze car vent clips? the new intensity dial gives you total control. i can turn it up... that smells good! or turn it down... hmm. nice and light. enjoy 40 days of freshness, your way. ♪ lalalalala ♪ what the biggest companies deliver is exceptional customer experience. what makes it possible is unmatched connectivity and 5g solutions from t-mobile for business. t-mobile connects 100,000 delta airlines employees. powers tractor supply stores nationwide with reliable 5g business internet. and helps red bull revolutionize coverage of live events. this is how business goes further

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here's why you should switch fo to duckduckgo on all your devie duckduckgo comes with a built-n engine, like google, but it's r and doesn't spy on your searchs and duckduckgo lets you browsel but it blocks cookies and creepy ads that follow youa and other companies. and there's no catch. it's fre. we make money from ads, but they don't follow you aroud join the millions of people taking back their privacy by downloading duckduckgo on all your devices today. [ ♪♪ ] >> you are watching mailing to attend. >> greg: this is a good

question for everybody here. arcadian asks how do you handle disagreements at work. such a good question, dagen. a lot of people are missing out on the work experience which teaches you how to deal with people. people you work with are often on like you. how do you deal with this? >> like this. >> greg: yes. >> i have no problem with anybody. i get along with everybody. you want to know in all seriousness you can only control one thing and that is you. you can only focus on your work and what you put out there. you cannot control the behaviour of anybody else. >> greg: that is true. >> that is how you overcome disagreements. >> greg: you have to surrender in that goal. that is what i do.

>> and do a hex at home privately. >> greg: i did not like you people. >> what do you mean you people? come on, white america, get it together. defend yourselves a. >> greg: ricky, you are a sociology professor. >> that a certain. >> greg: how long were you were professor? >> 21 years. [applause] >> greg: so how did you handle you must have been around some very sociology. i mean. >> the students were great. the students were great. you got through with that way. >> greg: but what did you do when there were conflicts with other professors. >> i just tune them out. tune them out. i have only been here a week and not only i screw that up so fast. i have a little bit more these here. >> greg: that is true. >> they put you on a leash.

i love that. >> i hate to mix worse and -- work and personal but sometimes. >> greg: sometimes they go hand-in-hand, kat. how do you handle disagreements at work. >> we see it every night. >> the best i can. >> greg: that is all? >> yes. the best i can. the best i can. i am always doing the best i can. >> good answer. >> thank you. >> greg: a good answer but there was no advice there. tyrus, i will not take that personally. don't take anything personally. >> seriously. you were showing growth. which is... [applause] >> you know, greg, that's question made me think. because i was like i have never had a disagreement before. i say things everybody kind of

nods and smiles. i have never really i don't technically really have an office. i just walked into jesse's office like i like the sky and i will hang out here and he says the place is yours. i do not know what everybody is talking about. if somebody did mess with me. hex. i am going to call her. >> greg: we have time for one more? all right. when did you officially realize you were getting old. ricky? >> when i thought i had toothpaste in my beard and realized that it was not going anywhere. that is not christ. that is many years of where we. >> greg: at least it was just your beard. kat? >> being around people in their early twenties. scary. >> greg: it is scary. >> sometimes when they are drunk you are like oh, no.

>> greg: get them away from me. >> what is this? >> they are scary things. >> greg: black don't crack. i am in my prime. >> i had to get a tooth pulled the other day. i had to get a tooth implant. i am crashing. what? that is it. >> greg: there you go. we will be right back. cid, heal acid-related damage to the esophagus called erosive esophagitis, and relieve related heartburn. voquezna is the first and only fda-approved treatment of its kind. 93% of adults were healed by two months. of those healed, 79% stayed healed. and voquezna can provide heartburn-free days and nights.

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