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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  August 26, 2024 7:00pm-8:00pm PDT

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[ ♪♪ ] >> sean: unfortunately that is all the time we have left this evening. as always thank you for being with us and thank you for making that show possible. please set your dvr so you never missed an episode of "hannity". checkout fox news any time, all the time, every time, in the meantime let not your heart be troubled. [ ♪♪ ] [applause]
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[ ♪♪ ] >> greg: smart people. they know what they like and it is me. happy monday, everyone. rfk junior has endorsed donald trump and it has caused a massive outcry among the kennedy family. it is not like they drove a car right off a bridge with a lady in it. in a resurfaced interview with rfk junior's daughter she recalls him using a chainsaw to behead a dead whale which now explains why abc never asked rfk to sit down with them. former classmate of rfk junior
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is occurred -- accusing him of being the cocaine dealer of harvard in the 1970s saying he bought a graham from him for $40 which is $300 in today's money. not a bad price, said one man. meanwhile the secret service has ended production for rfk junior following suspension of his campaign. this is a move that experts say will add years to his life. meanwhile, joe biden is still keeping a low profile on vacation. here is relaxing in the sun. >> that's awesome. i have proof that joke. >> greg: the trump and harris campaigns are arguing over the rules to the over -- upcoming debate. the trump campaign wants the max to be turned off and the harris campaign once the debate to take
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plays on an open field in front of a sloped roof. we are on, maybe. the washington post has declared that doug emhoff is a sex symbol. if you do not believe the post just ask his kids nanny. meanwhile, his wife kamala has now gone five weeks without holding a news conference. but she did provide a scathing review on nannies. i do not care. two stranded in nasa astronauts are not expected to make it back to earth until at least february of 2025. if they want to get here sooner they can always come through the southern border. nancy pelosi is blaming kathy hope for the democrats losing
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their majority in 2022. they plan to meet face to face so they are sending theirs via fedex. all right. let's do a monologue. they democrats may not create jobs but they do create a lot of exdemocrats. when you hold a four-day pep rally to introduce your candidates but tell us nothing about where they stand on issues? smart people know you were hiding something. what happens when you hide stuff? smart people bail. rfk junior is the latest big game to cut the chain from the sinking ship. you think he is unique. no. let's look at a few others who have fled. there was elon musk who flipped on the left due to the nutty ideas he has about the first amendment. before he took over exhunters laptop was a fake and jenny maldini's gender was a real. it turns out that both of them had [beep]. then, there is joe rogan who went from solid left to the
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libertarian right. he is no chump fan but i found of policies that do not mutilate kids. there are others that have left the left. russell brand, dave rubin, glen greenwell, oliver stone, johnny rotten, jordan peterson. another former democrat just endorsed trump today. mack what is with all of these smart people acting smart. maybe you notice something. among all of these clever, original thinkers you did not see any going in the other direction. you are more likely to see caitlin jenner do an add for just for men. you laughed at those other ones but not that one?
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people. sure, we have had republicans like liz cheney switch but that is not over policy that his personality and ego. they cannot accept trump as more popular than they are. sadly for them, so is hepatitis c. cartoonist scott adams compares it to people going from windows to mack. the migration is one way and once you have gone over you never return because switching back would be like going from this to this. now there is another former left that you all know who came to his senses. me. like a lot of us know i was liberal in my campus days before i had to face the real world. then i saw the half equation of liberalism, the pie in the sky demands that leave all the second part of the equation witches who pays for [beep]. that is when somebody explained to me where taxes come from. that's not forget the biggest former democrat of them all,
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donald j trump, used to mingle with sets of democrats in nyc but after decades of watching their party rock from the inside he took his joy enormous pair of balls and went home. has the dems whine about losing rfk they have only themselves to blame. because they can only embrace the american flag wants every four years and embrace the extremism their daughters are force to shower next to a naked guy. what about the democrats screaming about betrayal from rfk? did they not just betray their own. right now as we speak there is a visiting angel still cleaning the stab wounds in joe biden's back. the fact is the most diverse party in history is over here
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and there's hot tub of free radicals. that is because the people on this pirate ship do not help from a designated group of special demands. nobody represents blocks, or gaze, or women, or black gay women. this eclectic, brilliant bunch represent themselves. not a block, but souls unto themselves. the wild bunch beats the -- meets the magnificent seven. the most rebellious club on the planet. i just spit out food. with trump, rfk, and jd vance you maybe witnessing the most antiestablishment campaign in modern history. this is hope and change not the fake [beep] camouflage and hoaxes. no wonder the wagon has circled its wagons around harris. when you see this bunch coming what do you do.
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tonight's guests! he likes his watches how he likes his women, one on each arm. shark tank star kevin o'leary! this boxing reporter is a total knockout emily austin! as a comic his jury instructions come with a two drink minimum, comedian vince august! his idea of a light lunch is eating a lighthouse, new york times vessel i got there comedian, fox news contributor tyrus. kevin, what was your take from last weekend. what do you make of rfk getting off the trump train, so to speak? >> rfk what happened just 50 feet from here and a green room is a pragmatic guy. he went to see harris she said no, and he said okay there was no home for me here i have a few mandates i want to pursue i
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wonder what the other guy would say to me. the other guy said we take everybody in come on down and what do you care about? it turns out he cares about children's health which is a crazy thing, and he wants to get involved so he did his deal. i did not think that is nuts. he said he had a five% share i'm not sure how much that contributes back to trump but the reason all of this is happening is within their own party they do not know what it stands for because the leader of the pack will not talk to the press. what do we have the press for if it is not to rip into presidential candidates. it is a little freaky. i have a solution. i think she should come on the show first. >> greg: yes. >> you know why. i will tell you why. >> greg: i think we are the show of joy. >> no, we are the most dysfunctional family in mexico. she should join us and talk about the future. >> greg: it scares me that i
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might end up really liking her. >> the biggest pair of bongos i'm going to need to have when talking to her. >> greg: emily, what do you make of this news, rfk's family is really for stuff at him more pistil for him then voting for jump -- at voting for trump and then dropping off a bridge. >> he is way too smart to be part of the democratic party which has become the party of the elite -- elite. he leaves no question and answered. kamala running for president has not answered one single question. as love is like -- as much as i love to give trump credit for overcoming the democrats it is the democrats which are forcing everybody two to the right which is the party of common sense and rationality. so for a functional society you need three things that are basic, order, control, security. with the democrats give you none of that they do not answer
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questions or hold press conferences for god's sake then you have no choice. the chaos unfolding forces you to vote for trump. i said this before trump's best campaigner than was joe biden today it is kamala harris because the more you let them speak and expose themselves the more people run to the ballots and vote for trump. and that is fine. >> greg: thank god we will not be seeing more of joe exposing himself. there is one problem and that is the fact that the media will not put any pressure on kamala so she might not be the best spokesperson because she will not say anything. >> but you hid the last time and it worked on what was basically we are going to turn this around and it will not be what it was but now we have had a full shot at it. we have seen this for four years. so that will not work the next time. i think what trump needs to do
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is now get out there with rfk, with toasting a barred, bringing people to say that this party is listening to everybody as opposed to me look different but we have the same ideas. this side looks different and brings all of the ideas together. >> greg: something you really cannot talk about a lot in america is the weight problem. rfk is coming right at that. tyrus, he is like. when he says something you can't look out there are like when we were growing out the -- up there was one fat kid in class. >> me and my doctor watched goonies the other day. she was like why is chunk why did they call him trunk. you know what i'm saying?
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what he is bringing up is he is going after the two biggest monsters in this country's that will not stand so they will tear him down probably because pharma and the food appear you meant -- food pyramid they are not going to change that is why europe and other countries are healthier and happier than us because they do not put [beep] in our food that our people due to profit. but screw everybody she does not need to talk to the media because the media is not her lane. she is the meta- candidate. all of her people are woke they do not participate in real life they participate in social media where they appear bigger than what they are. smoke and mirrors. she is going to that social media talk for her. she has the mainstream media and her back pocket. even if she does not talk they will talk for her. if anybody speaks against them they will go after them. so they do not want her to talk because they know what it is. i'm share everybody would like a closed door meeting. we have been that way thank i have ideas for the show i think
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i should be naked juggling behind you and you say thank you for your time. >> greg: that was great humour. >> yes, that was great humour. but what you are going to see is she is going to rely on facebook, instagram, and all of the things that support her and if i put a picture that says that greg gutfeld is tall nobody will be able to see it because it goes against community guidelines. it is a blatant lie but that is not the point. it does not work this time because all of the things that you said they do a democrat are all of the populist things right now that are pushed by republicans. the people that will file the policies rather than the person are saying wait a minute everything that i believed in as a democrat is on that side. >> for those are not the people she is coping four. she will hide in the meta- verse. >> kamala strongest asset is not that people actually like her it is that the ego will not let
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them vote for trump. >> greg: excellent points made by all. especially me. i made the best points! i made the best points! >> when you spit that food out of your mouth i was like wow. >> greg: i do not know what that was but it has never happen. i just blew out. i have to acknowledge that food flu out of my mouth. spee what it never happens on shark tank because we edited out. >> greg: up next a liberal raglo says dogve has swag.
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says dogve has swag.
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(♪♪)
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symbol. why are you laughing, emily? look at him. for role, hyper masculine. he is celebrated as a modern and progressive sex symbol do to his willingness to prioritize kamala's ambitions over his own and that demonstrates his secure masculinity and that women seek partners to respect and support their careers. do you agree? >> he definitely screams sex symbol. the first thing i think when i look at him is a beta. that is what us generation z. call people like him. he is like under alpha male. like if i said to him that there is a spider in the house he would say you kill it. they act like subservient a man is the new norm and they actually shame masculine men. if he is a sex symbol then nancy pelosi could be on the cover of
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sports illustrated. the bar was very low. there is no chance for me. >> i am sorry, greg, i will have to defend nancy on this. she will have to gain five or 6 pounds. >> greg: tyrus, he was called a high achieving alpha, a fantasy man. and liked it machismo which means no machismo. >> you have to consider the source. what is the word i'm looking for? >> velo. >> bags of oatmeal women with no men calling him a sex symbol shows how bad the sex -- dating scene is out there. a guy who looks like the assistant to the principal of the school is walking around and they are saying that he is sexy. i mean he does not even have a top lip.
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he has four cheeks. he has a front cheek, and the back cheek. you weren't tricking me that is not tobacco. he is just i mean i do not know. if him and i were standing next to each other and i said i am an alpha -- alpha what are you. he would probably say i'm available. >> greg: terrible. but you know what? the nannies like him. >> i respect the multiple you traverse child raising thing. i am cool with that. >> greg: vince? >> i am convinced that someone like that cannot tell you what women should be. cannot tell you what a man should be. it never looks like me. never looks like kevin o'leary which is the rich version of me. this is toxic mail, that is
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white devil, this is gets everybody pregnant. that one might be true. that one might be accurate. you will lead us to a pot of gold. >> smash now, greg? are later. >> reporter: tell him we are holding out for drinks later. with the barons. >> greg: this went to a lot of readers. how did the press get behind this? >> he said i'm doing everything to keep our family together behind the scenes. i only have one question, what happens if she loses?
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he is unemployed and not so macho. and he did his job? what does he do. is he a lawyer? >> maybe it was private equity i cannot remember but the whole idea of this is i am going to change the model. i am the person that will stay home and take care of the kids whatever he is insinuating with this. but i want an option because it is only a 50/50 kind of thing with this election. if she does not make it he is going to say honey bunny sweet tea this was not the plan it. >> i miss gender rolls. >> greg: you know what i just realized. how donald trump just cheated us out of the first man of bill clinton. we were so happy that he built -- beat hillary but could you imagine bill clinton as the first man? >> in a lot of situations wasn't he the first man. you know what is sexist. dr jill did not have to stop being a doctor.
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what is a man have to give up everything? >> greg: why give up your job. in case she doesn't win. or you just want to give up the income. >> he will be fine. you will be rewarded for being unemployed do not worry about that. >> i went back to using men and women. is the school. >> greg: only when they say jeff bezos should sell the washington post to elon musk and say do whatever you want. because you know jeff bezos is tired of this. >> you would be a lot thinner if you cut back. >> greg: up next to beyoncé rumoured -- to beyoncé rumoured that spread like a tumour. ♪ but when you get your tools from harbor freight something about the job feels a little different - your wallet. because we believe no matter what you're working on you need high quality tools at a great price.
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can you blame the media, folks? for pushing the beyoncé hoax? the media would not shut up about beyoncé's surprise appearance on the final night of the t. and c. >> beyoncé are no beyoncé? >> it is pulsating throughout the city that she will show up. i'm guessing she is here. >> president of all things music, fashion, and style i.e. beyoncé. she is going to show up. >> we are hoping that beyoncé makes an appearance. we have heard the whispers around here that beyoncé may show up but i guess we will see. >> remind me what net beyoncé is performing. >> i think that is the most asked a question i have gotten over the last week or so. >> greg: but just like the supermodel i met in the aol chat room beyoncé never appeared and what a shame tim walz had a
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dance routine planned for single ladies. the last time i saw a crowd that disappointed they were promised brian kilmeade and then he showed up. in your face. a tweet from the white house political director emily ruiz started the sinister rumour which she then blamed on her six year old kid who took her phone which means that six year old has interacted with the press more than kamala. she blamed her child for this hoax. do you believe that? >> no. >> first of all, you are throwing a six year old under a bus. >> greg: exactly i hope it was a short bus. >> wait know you do not waste it -- wish it was a short bus. >> greg: toy bus.
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>> but tyrus won't know what this is as well. this is the think he was the in time square where people will tell you there is a great comedy show and we have comics from letterman and it is a dupe to get you there and then when you get there it is just joe machi. >> greg: just ripping him. >> but that is a ploy that you used to get people to come to an event like yankees and white sox are going to do bobble head night and they don't even have a bobble head. >> i do not know about you guys but i woke up at 5:00 am watching a bad infomercial saying did she come on? now you have to ask yourself is she really actually republican. is that what happened here? >> greg: she waited until the very end to say she was not
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coming. she was in on the shenanigans if i can use this profane word in mixed company. but this was designed to get people to watch and it was a dishonest hoax for you kind of like it, didn't you? >> that 6-year-old has two to jail. >> greg: you do the crime you do the time that is what i say. tyrus, do you think the child. i think it is worse to blame your kid. >> here is here thing to get from somebody who was blamed his kids for a lot of things [laughter] when it finally comes out that kids will dirty you out. just like kamala the six year old is not getting any press time. the sixth to old will tell the truth. mommy you on the phone you said that beyoncé would appear. what do you think you mack they came out there there was upside down drummers that is not good
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enough for you guys. but they had to make sure they did not have the mistake that happened in georgia where you make the horse it came out and performed and the whole place was rocking and when she left they started leaving. and kamala had not spoken yet. a smart crowd but they do not want to have that. what they needed to have happen was that would not happen again on the ground stage they probably contacted her people that can we use your name? here is the thing why are they not attacking her? if i said, help me, if i said greg gutfeld is coming to my show this week and she does not show up when i see you at the water cooler on a monday i am like mother [beep] where are you at twomak there was nobody on cnn with a deep dive like we reached a comment she has not answered yet. we reached out to jay-z to find out.
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>> greg: they reached out to tmc for it. >> tmc reporting the scoop. it comes back to my think when you have [beep] the only thing you can do is pile more [beep]. >> greg: yes. the jubilee for a second she was going to show up or did you see through this ruse. >> i thought she would do it for them honestly but to me it is a lot deeper. to me it is more reinforcement of the democrats know the only way to win this election is driving the american people. all of these taylor swift and beyoncé endorsements are all a façade to cover the fact that they can't address any policies but these are one of the many lights we see over and over. i watch the highlights if you could even call that of the dnc they lied about project 2025 making it seem like the most demonic thing that trump's plan for america. they constantly lie about trump banning abortions when he said 100 times himself he does not plan on doing that. they showed the only way they can win is about bashing and lie
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yankee conservative agenda. you watch the playback of the video if you do not show me see an end i am thinking that this is a presidential election and that is concerning. >> greg: the thing is kevin you and i are both in big hollywood entertainment. [laughter] the ugly people and politics they get very giddy over celebrities it is kind of sad. >> i do not think it makes one difference what some celebrity says who i should vote for. i do not care what they think. i care what i think and i think most people in the kitchen table right now do not care what taylor swift says or beyoncé says. it is great for the convention because you are selling tickets and you want people to watch it to when the morning but that it's over now. you still have to buy bacon and eggs up 25%. >> i think they do care and the fact that she did not say some things has a lot. >> i like their music.
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>> the wnba player is now trending on tweeter it -- torture because she says she is not sure about voting for kamala. who cares what she is voting for? she plays basketball. generation z. does. >> the biggest thing for me, reg, their whole thing was strength through joy. but this is when being stupid comes back to bite you in the. they have been calling trump hitler from day one. that is where the playbook comes from google it when you get home it starts with the letter and and ends with not see. look it up. >> greg: no celebrity will influence my vote except for ruth fuzzy. >> me as well. if he says do it i would do it. >> greg: coming up some
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at keytruda.com, and ask your doctor if keytruda could be right for you. >> five more words. >> greg: peanut butter is a liquid. according to tsa tsa tweeted a reminder on friday. quote, "peanut butter is a liquid. we said what we said". they are at their wits end. users added context sink according to chemistry, "peanut butter is a bingham plastic which is a subset of non-newtonian fluids of". it is not the peanut butter. peanut butter is a liquid it is a plastic. rfk junior is right we are eating plastic.
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what say you? >> hold on, man, i have to drink my peanut butter. >> let me disclose something i am a member of the peanut butter community. there is a huge issue raging in the community many people, particularly when you get nasty peanut butter where the oil goes to the top mix it up with a spoon and put it in the fridge to solidify. then it becomes essentially a solid. when it comes back out again it turns into a liquid. so what is it? the community cannot decide. >> i will solve this right now. you can have a water balloon fight or a peanut butter balloon fight. do you want to get wet or do you want a concussion because if i get hit by a peanut butter balloon i will get knocked out. >> the only time peanut butter is a liquid is when you eat too much of it, that was for greg. happy birthday. >> greg: happy -- thank you. >> i think if you get a jar of
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skippy which is what they warned us about it is rock solid. if you get the trader joe's it is liquid. but my question is why? >> maybe it has real oil and it. >> but it is sweet. >> i love it skippy. i love peter pan. he works for disney, get off skippy. >> do you wonder why he stays so small? >> i will take skippy over peanut pan -- peter pan any day. >> i have a tattoo right on my chest that says how dare you? >> you know why peter pan is carrying that knife. he needs it to spread the peter butter. >> i have heard this before. >> greg: that raises and other important question, who was taking peanut butter on an airplane? >> how was this a debate? >> protein a lot of time it is the easiest way to travel.
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>> skippy is protein. no. >> yes. >> greg: are there any liquids you have had to give up? when was the last time you flew commercially? [laughter] i should have rephrased that. have you ever flown commercially twomak. >> i know what commercial is. i bring my liquids with me. >> that is a plain were strangers get on do you know that that is a thing. >> remind me later i actually want to flex i am a community notes contributor i want to see if it will work. i am going to say it is actually assaulted and see if i can community notes it. >> greg: i am interested in the fact that it is on non-newtonian fluid. what is newtonian fluid? >> is in that jelly?
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what happened to joe lee? why is jelly being left out of this? >> why is butter allowed. >> reporter: gina would be the worst? anybody who brings jam on a plane. here is the thing about peanut butter depending on the community do you add sugar or not? many brands including those mentioned are full of cane sugar. very bad. >> what about skippy? >> greg: so what you used. you don't use any sugar? >> the community is split. half ago for added sugar which i think this parable and the other half or peer wrists for that is the stuff that gets really oily because all you were doing is going to cut peanuts on the community does not like that. what do you do. stick it back in the fridge and we're back to where we started. >> this is fascinating to me. >> our next segment is about
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jelly. >> greg: have you ever had anything confiscated that is embarrassing would it go through tsa? >> a child. suite do we have to move on. >> i guess i should ask what is tsa? [applause] >> greg: you should aspire to be this man, not mock him. be angry at the rich because they do not have two through tsa, yearned to be the rich. >> why do we have a billionaire on the show anyway? you have eight of them hanging around. come on, greg. this is who we are robbing after the show, everybody. >> greg: our you ever in the mood to give a robot attitude.
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>> greg: people want to be nice to a i've. this is really disturbing. kevin, a recent survey finds that 48% of americans find that artificial intelligence should be spoken to politely and that there should be some form of manners used.
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this struck me as extremely true. i was looking at a friend of mine talking to artificial intelligence. a young female, perhaps ethnic voice and saying to stop. i felt like he was being rude. that is over. if we feel that way right now like we actually are putting feelings into something that is not real [beep] is going to take over. >> i do not care what their accent is i am trying to find out how to make money off of this stuff. i think we will take a little breather on this artificial intelligence thing. >> greg: is it more like the internet boom where it was a boom and then it seeps out everywhere? no? >> it is supposed to happen that way except i talked to companies and they say we spend about $2 million on it last year and
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we made squat. we will cool down a little bit until we figure out how this works. there are some great ideas like you walk up to get your fast food order and it says you ordered cheese last time and you said he really liked it how about double cheese? it turns out people say screw that. >> greg: vince, if there is a likable voice you were going to get attached to it. you are a lonely man. >> absolutely. i will be as polite to that thing as i possibly can. and i am never going to get a real girl so that is going to be what i am dating so i will be super nice to that thing there. it depends what it is doing. if the robot is in charge of something like a car that is self driving i am going to kiss its asked to make sure it does not crash if the thing is doing surgery on you you are going to talk real nice to them. >> greg: i think there will be a rise of ai bullying.
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you saw people throwing [beep] at self driving cars. why? where you believed by them? >> if he all heard the way that i speak to my alexa at home with one day you see on the news that my private conversations are leaked you know exactly why. i cursed my, i feel horrible now, but i cursed my alexa out because i say alexa, turn off my dining room lights. sorry i don't understand. i'm like turn off the lights. and then they're like, okay,, miss austen, turning off the lights. >> now you understand where they lost $40,000 last year. >> doing this more effectively. try on chatgpt. try it out. >> greg: ai rights. >> i will beat it up. this is just for the men out there, do not talk polite to siri at all. you will here i wish you talk to
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me the way that you talk to siri. that is it. >> greg: that is so true. when i talked to customer service i am very nice and my wife is like who are you? >> no poop jokes? >> you don't put us off directions like my girl does. >> see where you went up. >> nobody is operator. i can't be the only one. >> greg: all right, we will be . it's faster, bro! tepro starts working in 30 minutes. astepro and go!
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[ applause ] >> greg: emily austin, and our studio audience, i'm greg gutfeld, good to be back! [ cheering and applause ] >> trace: good evening, five...four...three...two...one. it's 11:00 pm on the east coast,

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