>> next wednesday buckle up for an exclusive town hall will former president donald trump and harrisburg, pennsylvania, and over to hannity.com. hannity.com get your free tickets. also, in my conversation with alina, on my podcast." just typing adjacent in the house. wherever you listen podcast you will find it. gutfeld up next. thanks have a great weekend. [cheering and applause]

>> greg: i know. i know the ark i know ark. i know i have it working out. it's fried that you know what that means. let's all come tonight to guess. he looks like the guy who stole your underwear in fifth grade. comedienne jim norton. [applause] >> the only thing that can stop him is a very powerful magnet. johnny joey jones. [cheering and applause] >> greg: soon she'll have a baby shower and hopefully a nice hot bath here with new times best seller kat timpf. >> greg: and a good ear tire was his right. comedienne a former... tyrus.

>> greg: i need to take a break. before we got to some form or new stories get to this. >> greg so leftovers. >> greg: these of the leftovers were read the jokes that we did not use this week as always is my first time reading them. so they socked, will skin joe and roam around in maple syrup. look how white i am. compared to my makeup. >> even white a long time boss. >> greg: this week the tsa had to remind us of that peanut butter is a liquid. and also that joe biden it can fly commercial because he always has more than 3 ounces of liquid in his pants. you're disgusting. he still our president. this fall chris christie will

teach a class at elp arc on how to run a political campaign. he will be grading on a huge curve. because he corrects his papers in bed. see? in the missouri national park it turns out that an injured bald eagle as my ego was too fat to fly. that's the same reason i gave the view when they want to do a show in hawaii. you people. 66 your old man fired for appearing in a times square hotel lobby. is suing for over 1 million bucks claiming he suffers from a chronic medical condition that causes him to frequently. it's called being 66. amman with the world's largest

penis revealed the way made his life difficult. we chose the right now but i'm busy. who got that joke the ark and it is a joke. president biden is on his second straight week of vacation. he would get more rest if not for the local kids who keep poking him with a stick to see if he is alive. stephen king mocked elon musk on acts after one of his rocket launches was delayed. but king should stick to what he does best. scaring people. with his face. some people dispute the claim that kamala harris worked at mcdonald's in the past.

meanwhile mcdonald's claims a record show just one clown working there. philadelphia police suspect a couple was getting busy and accidentally hit the gearshift of their car sending it into a river. it sounds unbelievable. having sex with a person from philadelphia. the burning man festival and drew a massive crowd with an dome. many people don't know why they went but something definitely came over them. crowd gorin. [ crowd groaning ] speed and no apologies. found she was hot splice with west nile, the doctor recommended he lie in bed as opposed to its usual lying standing up.

good and that there. finally plays an suburban new york county have made the first arrest under a new law banning face masks. after the arrest police back the person to put it back on. let's talk about the stuff. last night it was a controlled burn. the gola limit the damage to a small area in order to prevent a larger inferno that would engulf the entire candidacy. for it to work the conditions had to be right you had to pick the right host, the setting, the length of time, the chaperone, and the questions. and the obvious want to avoid, was her role in covering jo's mental unfitness. remember, she insisted president biden was extraordinarily strong. >> u.s. as it president biden is incredibly strong. given where we are now, do you have any regrets about what you told the american people?

>> no, not at all. not at all. i have served with president biden for almost four years now. and i'll tell you it's one of the greatest honours in my career. truly. he cares so deeply about the american people. he is so smart, speed it was so smart. so smart he had to drop out of the race. but what if you telling the truth that to her joe it seemed smart weight that will mean she's a drooling idiot. and she just rocks. if you did anything else she will make kamala harris look bad and we know that helps a trump. and by do you do when asked about the obvious coup against biden? you do what any seasoned act does, turn it into a family moment. did it happen on a sundae? >> it was a sunday, i'll give you too much information. spirit is no such thing.

>> my family was staying with us. including my baby nieces, and we had just had pancakes and can i have my bacon, and yes i'll make you more bacon. we were sitting down to do a puzzle. and the phone rang and it was joe biden. and he told me what you decided to do. and i asked him are you sure, and he said yes. >> greg: at least the kid got more bacon. i was on the edge of my seat about that bacon. since one does kamala harris give us to -- too much information? she gives us no information. and when she hit kamala harris

on their ever-changing positions kamala harris and says that she has not. spoiler alert she has. >> in 2019 you said quote there is no question i'm in favour of banning fracking, fracking as you know is a pretty big issue particularly in your must win state of pennsylvania. do you still wanted to ban fracking? >> now and i made that clear on the debate stage in 2020. that i will not ban fracking as a vice president i did not ban fracking as a president i will not ban fracking. we are in 2024 and i'm not jan deposition going forward. i kept my wart and i will keep my word. >> what made you change that position at the time? >> let's be clear. my values have not changed. >> greg: that was clear. 2019 she says there's no question she would ban fracking, now she said she will not ban a fracking but then she says hurt position has not changed. was dead? that the definition of fracking change? to not

fracking. then everything she's had made sense. classic kamala harris. r.i.p. i think. google it. listen to this. >> i have always believed and i have worked on, that the climate crisis israel, that it is an urgent matter, to which we should imply metrics that include holding ourselves the deadlines around the time. >> greg: deadlines, deadlines around the time. as opposed to that -- deadlines are based on time. [cheering and applause] >> greg: what is the significance of the passage of time? >> the significance of the passage of time, the

significance of the passage of time so when you think about it, there's a great significance to the passage of time, there is such great significance to the passage of time. >> greg: what is it significant at the passage of time when you can make it 18 minute interview seem like an eternity. now the media calls this race a race to the middle. say whatever you need to say to come off as a moderate because people appreciate the norm. which raises the obvious question. why do you push left-wing ideology when come election time people tell you that it's not what they want? and why is it you can only push your left-wing aims when no one is looking. what's that say? your position suck. and you're not being treated of others when finally there looking right at you. which is a bad time to forget the name of the supreme court. >> he even called the

termination of the united states supreme -- the supreme land of our nation. >> greg: it's nice to see should continue where joe left off. jim you have been following politics for decades. very closely. have you seen a race quite like this? and i don't mean that kamala harris' race, i mean just the political race? >> i find her entertaining, we all have forgotten supreme court. i field -- it a bit easier to remember. and you that would bomb i did it anyway. because i'm stupid. i wrote it down and i'm like nope don't say it and then i said it. >> the story of my life. >> i don't mind when someone changes position. as long as it want to stick to it. we always complain that they dig in on something and they don't change. weather answer it should have

been when they say why have you changed your position, she relies more people that my position was wrong and so i address. i don't need you to have integrity to do what people want you to do. >> greg: i have changed my position on a lot of things and you just say oh, i think i was wrong. that's all you have to say and people go wow. why are politicians told not to say they think they are wrong on something? >> because he primes them for. if you admit you're wrong about something people don't just go out that was honest we tried to kill you for it, she's very irritating, it's fun to watch her talk about righting that ship when she's vice president for the guy who sank it. [laughter] [applause] >> greg: joey, i'm inclined to ask you about walz because both of you are military heroes. though i hesitate using your name and his in the same sentence. because he did so much more.

but to hear him tell it. but he did not do anything. he reminded me of when you see on "60 minutes" when they have the head of a corporation and his lawyer. and the lawyer is off on the side and the lawyer is looking like this and his client while being interview. he was there in case she got sick or something. >> all he did i think he was there to make her look better. she has a lack ability problem that she always has. so they bring him in there and he's running this lawn about being coach and midwestern but think about what he said he said that i don't use a good grammar. because people in the midwest are known as someone from georgia let me tell you i sit there and i went and no way he just said he was in combat did he, that's bad grammar. and i know that. what he is is he's a liar.

and you can't admit that on tv. >> i think he did not even directly answer the whole dwi thing either. he scored a past that he talked about his kid. and his dog. >> and she offered up on a silver plate she coupled a couple things to get that so he could get pivot. if you watch the whole thing she led them to their answer. >> greg: and, she did not do exactly what you predicted they would not do. no follow-up question. not even a why did you mean by that. >> i know. she did do one where she asked what would a day on day one? and she asked her that again. again. not exactly the level of competitive she had when she is talking j.d. vance but something. i'm also concerned that kamala harris does not know what tmi is. in my experience because in my

experience at tmi when someone says sorry tmi, the talking about behaviour or. or other bodily fluids. i was like where is the tmi? if they all [bleep] themselves. [laughter] [applause] >> that's tmi. i was with some kids that wanted pancakes and bacon is not tmi. nobody threw up, that is ridiculous. >> greg: what would be tmi? my goodness. >> tmi at breakfast today. sorry for the tmi. >> i can't write a whole book on tmi p.r. >> i'm a queen of tmi. i got more tmi coming up in the next one to. believe me. >> i love i would love to see a conversation between kamala harris and you, and you say tmi at pancakes, tmi had a colostomy.

>> i get confused between a colostomy and ileostomy. >> that we'll be tmi. >> greg: that's what we got after waiting 30 days. >> i think i said it best we haven't seen her enough. you speak. >> greg: i think i said the best. no one else will touch that. when you light about [bleep] breakfast. that were pancakes. i was making pancakes. and then they asked for bacon. and then we played a puzzle. what kind of believe loop kitchen table do you have. nobody. of all the foods in the world when it pancakes and syrup you don't have a pen and paper and puzzles next to it. >> greg: that is so true. and bacon grease.

>> it's not tmi is lying much information. that's what that is. it so bad. that when you have to say when someone and it was multiple-choice questions it was like they are playing goose bumps where she was telling don't go behind that you can die. it was one of the worst interviews i've ever. a shame on her. this is cnn and it said that you can go in a place that no one will comfort you, and ended 25 times, they should have said to where you have one job. you cannot believe loop is that. when she came back through that be like you [bleep] this up. >> greg: i think we can move on. let's do something else. trumpet says joe's become a sleepy beach bum.

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at splenda stevia farms, our plants are sweetened by sunshine. experience how great splenda stevia can be. grown on our farm, enjoyed at your table. (♪♪) >> a video of the day. [cheering and applause] >> greg: thank you. donald trump's imploring why is biden always a snoring, are a video of the day comes to was from a tangerine titan known as donald trump. a recent rally he could not have a point out biden's audit sleep schedule. i wander, do we have a president? and did he just get back from california? >> do we have a president, he just got back from california, he was supposed to go to the white house he never got there. he went to delaware and he's laying on the beach sleeping all

day long. who wants to sleep and he wants to sleep and public? he's sleeping. do you think president upjohn is at a beach sleeping. do you think north korea president is sleeping with his nuclear weapons all over the place they don't sleep so much. we have a guy sleeping. speed of his right. we don't really have a president right now. i guess the mar joe sleeps the last he screws everything up. [cheering and applause] drums got a point. who sleeps on the beast that much great this guy spent my time in the sand and then a catheter it. joey. >> i've never thought about that. who sleeps on the beach? you

can see how trump does not understand that. has he ever really slapped period. >> that guy does not sleep. listen. you know sleep and probably. it's a hazard. you don't do. every time i wake up sleeping on the plan do with all of my cell. i've missed the snacks that came by. i'm in such a bad mid. you don't sleep and public. that's what the bed is far. honestly and safest thing he could be doing. the inverse is running around sniffing kids talk about corncob and boozy. let that man alone. >> i disagree. who wanted to be conscious at the beach? i'm sick of people acting like the beach is fun for long about 20 minutes. is not fun. especially in manhattan it's an hour to get there. you get there then what? out sorry. i know everyone's a big thing. the beach. the beach. here's your options. sit around in the dirt in your underwear. or go into the water in your

underwear. i know the beach is a big thing but good for you if you can sleep on the beach. because everyone there is pretending it's fun. [cheering and applause] >> the midwesterners in the crowd tonight. >> greg: do you think you can never see trump lodging on the beach? sleeping are not sleeping at does not seem. >> depends if he bought the beach or not. if he made it a sleeping bed and breakfast. it's not fair to joe, to make fun of him. he survived cancer and for all we know is sleeping in the sand that were tracks that particular oil can cancer. so this can be doctors order. so i think before we judge we have to understand that no matter when, every time he goes to sleep and wakes up it in a day. sometimes five or six times in

one day. if i had those magical powers that he has to wear something's going bad i wake up and i wake up as a whole new brand day. that maybe that's what he was doing. he is rebooting he was having a bad conversation with the wife went to sleep okay up didn't remember. a way which i have that. >> greg: as a comedian and jam, you have to get trump's do. that was a good solid rip. it was a general observation, who sleeps in public, it's a fair point. >> although i'm in no position to criticize considering the things that i do in public. sleeping in the beach is pretty harmless and the only guy with jellyfish on it before he goes in the water. [laughter] >> i would say. [laughter] >> greg: i don't even now. >> this photo is amazing because he literally looks incompetent even when he's asleep.

[cheering and applause] >> greg: should he be projecting it an image to leader project an image of constant activity, does this send a message to our adversaries. >> now it looks great sleeping. but he looks lost even when he sleeping. i would try to position the umbrella where they're not going to get photos of you from the side because he looks like he's contemplating something really stupidly. >> i'm sorry isn't he the president of the nine states, you don't have a cabana? a nice ten. you just save in a $28 million dam. something. >> greg: are delaware beaches that good? forgive me if you're from delaware, it delaware st state. >> it's carpeted it small. >> it's a small state but it's basically just for banks.

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>> a story in five words. >> greg: five words. hangovers had harder out 44. this is a mind-blowing signs. it's research from stanford. the cardinals as they're called after the tree. it's just the ages 44 and 60 significant biological changes occur including a decline in the body's ability to metabolize alcohol. leading to worse hangovers. since you've gotten pregnant

you're still drinking i assume, there is no science no science saying is your cutback. >> 1 of my favourite things about being pregnant is having the excuse not to drink that people don't ask you a million questions about. because before i got pregnant i got to a point where i was very aware -- really drinking because you do the analysis of is this really going to add what it's going to take away from me tomorrow morning? but that's really not that nice of a way to say that to a person. >> without making him feel like crab. >> what you're really saying is, hey, i don't think drinking with you is going to be that fine. because every now than i feel like okay it's worth it let's rage but very rarely. so saying, hey, i would drink if you and i told he cut but i think i'm going to have that good of a time. i don't want to. >> i love it. in this research there was an actual sentence that says while the cause of hangovers is not

known. what the semi quote you what the [bleep] is wrong with signs? who doesn't know what causes hangovers. >> besides that. if you're still getting hangovers and 44 you need to look at what's going on in your life. 20 to 30 is when you spot to get hangovers you figure that when a 30. and for that you should be a full-blown alcoholic where it does not bother you. or which we don't condone it or if you must are you figure that and you know your limits. i'm lucky i have kids i also have this great way. when someone says quadrant cole kmet wife come and no one ever out. [laughter] she doesn't watch.

>> greg:, makes a good point that basically caused by pointing a poison in your body you basically say it's an ultimate athlete you with morris jim, if at tonight's jim you're basically screwing over tomorrow's gym. you're doing something to jam me when i do to a stranger. >> i would do it to a stranger. ruined their and vomit on them. i would. [laughter] >> you haven't had a drink and ages. >> i was one of those after school special i quit win i was 18. my last was on january 3087. [applause] >> greg: he swished to her when. sprang up and broke.

>> i don't know what is like to be a drunk. i was a bad hangover drunk when i was young. as a vomit or. i called the fbi guy. i was a problem when i drink. i did all of that. bomb price. you cleared your high school. with a bomb threat. >> what was the, spirit my friends and i were drunk i was 17. >> that's when bomb threats were that big of a deal. >> he's right. everyone contemplating a bomb threat because it would get them out of class or fund let's call a bomb threat. >> 5:00 somewhere. >> i tried it before and they've never done anything. i was so bad i was drunk and i went if you think this is a joke then start laughing. and they felt bad for me lets just clear about.

and they did. >> i'm glad you stopped. >> greg: i realized i think i was not morning person person turns on that morning hangover person. >> people that are our sociopathic. i respect them for it. but man. i don't know what a hangover is like at 44. on not there yet but i quit drinking at the 28th. because once you been carried out a one of those dueling piano bar is looking like p.m. -- pinocchio because you had hinges for knees and you don't have control over anything anymore being carried by guys he tried to fight because they would not shake your hand firmly enough i realized that eight years as a marine i have it all end. i got every crazy thing. i do care about. that chapter is closed. >> greg: this chapter's opening. has that for a transition. amazing. speedo coming up with the ratings in the sewers "star wars" blames the viewer

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check your cost and coverage before talking to your health care professional about wegovy®. >> 5 more words. >> greg: actors blake david doesn't bigotry. i love this story. amanda, she's allayed actors from the "star wars" tv series the acolyte. she said the show was cancelled after one season because it was a prejudices or bigotry against the shows a diverse cast. and she said it was harassment from all tried hyper conservatives. if you make excuses great. >> no. here is how bad you are. that you get the name "star wars" on you. and you failed. take it from a minority "star wars" was already one of the most diverse shows in the

set movies in the 70s they had everyone on there. and they continued and even in the new ones they made women powerful and they had jedi, they've gone out of the way and then they threw it up in the life you and he ruined it. there's a problem you woke running sacks and the fans don't watch it maybe there is all to write conservative but they don't know because nobody washed it. that's a problem. i would love to say it sucked. >> i have no idea because i looked and went on a want to watch as. >> greg: when you said it's like how can you make something that so popular bad, it's like he opened a toy store that children don't want to go when or you make down that's that that people won't eat. they made it "star wars" that people, everyone loved the "star wars". that's a problem. snow white was not the same thing garrick these young actors

and actresses they don't take ownership did not going to gross act as a blame everything on everyone else. as everyone else. i bet there won't be along the line for the next leg. keep blaming everyone else. >> woke writing any type of writing with messaging is more important than being entertaining. at six. i think "star wars". were done with. can we stop with "star wars". the first three were greats. amanda lauren's bus be good, everything else i've had enough. i'm sick of the universe i'm tired just shut up. and its borrowing and i'm sick and tired of it. but my friends are big, big fans and he wanted to like this show so badly. and he just hated it. you said it was not a good show. is not always because of the politics, a lot of times you made a bad show. speed it was like excuse to blame the viewer but you can't blame the viewer if you're leading with a message. if you're going to lead with a message, it's on you. if they don't like it.

don't have a message. >> greg: entertainment is one of the most pure things out there. it's like read. it just is. you either are entertained, or entertaining people. i don't sit down and write a dissertation about what entertained me before i click on the 51st "star wars" shirtless been created. maybe 50 was a limit. maybe disney+ doing for the doesn't -- "star wars" show. here's an idea and hear me out. just hear me out. maybe people don't give a [bleep] about you. maybe they want to be entertained. and do something entertaining. speed it could this be an underrated quality of online trolls? maybe they are america's presses doesn't precious commodity, they help america get rid of a mediocre project,. >> absolutely not. people i sat in gross.

people are really sad and honestly i know it's like to have people "star wars" fans really mad at you. i had legitimate death threats from "star wars" fans for making a joke. i'm white. i don't know if it's always the reason, but no i don't think trolls are the heroes of the world. that's maybe the worst take you ever had the ark. [laughter] >> greg: hey, trolls. >> they're already here. >> i can hear the keyboards right now. >> greg: i just find it offensive they call them a trolls. >> they say more offensive things on night than not. i did not know star was used to beat white people i've never seen any of them. at don't know. >> a land out, he was always diverse. >> the boys of the most popular

is white. >> james earl jones one of the great spices of all times was black. >> i know him from a sandlot. >> that two. both are great actors. speed it what's going on here? >> isn't it funny he doesn't like what other people are called shortly don't mean thanks. speed that we have to stick together. >> this is my bridge. [cheering and applause] >> greg: up next we answer on that show things you want to know.

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♪ ♪ >> greg: yes. you are watching mailing it in. [cheering and applause] >> maybe we have time for one perhaps two questions. this is from somebody. what habit does someone do that you absolutely detest. you're pretty easy going guy joe. any man makes you snap? >> i hate when people are telling a story and a pause in between each line. like when an kamala harris is talking about that morning i was sitting here like gritting my teeth. i hate when people do that. >> don't want to date line. that's what keith morrison does. they will take a murder, i think

that they can hold in 5 minutes, and they stretch it for an hour. sometimes in 90 minutes. a suburb outside. >> i love when he goes all no. >> what happened while. and then he stops address me crazy. i digress. ? what happens to someone do that you absolutely detest. >> saying like too much. i hate myself when i do that. to your point i hate that. >> greg: to your point. >> it's hard because people my age do it if i'm going to continue to spend time with my peers it's going to keep rubbing off on me. and i tried to not do it but it's so hard. >> greg: you been heading out with pierce morgan and he's rubbing off on you? proud ground -- [ crowd groaning ] >> who pretended they like that?

>> the hate pierce morgan while. >> it was cute. >> greg: as long as gym smiles. >> jim what annoys you? that someone does it. >> i can tell you exactly who doesn't my wife. and not just the whole insisting on living in the house thing i hate when people fake laugh for a story that's not funny at all. and she does it all the time. she fake last because you want to keep the energy going. and the story socks and i'm like i don't know why you did that you knew where this was going. so vague laughing annoys me. >> greg: i have a cohost to you is that. on the different show. and this person will laugh and it only encourages the person to keep saying stupid [bleep] >> it's a nervous thing. like kamala harris does it and that's if you're rating to watch. this is so not a genuine. you don't look like you're

having fun and casual you look like a blithering idiot. speed it last night's interest -- interviewed she looked miserable. there is no joy. the joy was gone. >> strength and joy in trouble. what did someone do a habit,. >> people don't like pierce morgan. i can't stand people was a him or laugh at their own jokes. all this is going be good coming. ymer. >> i think i do both. >> you're not an element guy. >> you see them on tv. we just watch the interview. we make pancakes. he asked her bacon replay puzzles. >> i was impressed by how little she said like. >> she is something else. i think that she has a serious anxiety. that's my theory. people think she's drinking but she does not slur. so i think she's got social anxiety and that freaks her out

and you can tell that's why she had the emotional support animal with her. not my joke. not my job. >> you didn't meet -- admitted to beanie babies. >> you did invent beanie baby he invaded the beady baby. >> had you know that? >> he makes bleep up i can to. >> greg: i make a beanie baby every morning after cup of coffee. >> now pierce morgan thing is starting to make sense. speaker don't go away will be right back.

out of time, thank you to our guests, our lovely still you audience. "fox news @ night" is up next, i love you, america. >> kevin: good evening everybody, i'm kevin corke and for trace gallagher. 11:00 pm in the ea