theories. so craziest conspiracy theories. so if you really want to know what's happened to kate or which politician's wives are transgender, stay tuned for that. and an investigation into food delivery firms shows that drivers are renting their accounts out to illegal migrants in a new ballooning black market. this is your saturday night showdown and discussing all tonight's topics. my brilliant panel joining me tonight are comedians bruce devlin and ryan mcdonnell. and broadcaster precious muir. but first, let's get your latest news headlines from karen armstrong . armstrong. >> thank you very much, leo. i'm karen armstrong in the gb newsroom. sainsbury's has been

unable to fulfil the vast majority of today's online deliveries because of technical issues. contactless payments in store were also affected, leaving thousands of customers either unable to buy groceries or having to queue for cash machines. sainsbury's says it was caused by an overnight software update. tesco experienced similar problems, but on a smaller scale. both chains have apologised to customers and say the unrelated issues have now been resolved , issues have now been resolved, and vaughan gething has been elected as the next welsh labour leader and the new first minister of wales. he will become the first black leader of any european country. mr gething won a narrow contest against his only rival jeremy miles, taking 51.7% of the vote. he is expected to be confirmed as first minister on wednesday, when a vote will take place in the senate and will replace mark drakeford, who has held the post since 2017. it means no uk nafion since 2017. it means no uk nation will be led by a white male for the first time since devolution began in the late 1990s. >> today , we turn a page in the

>> today, we turn a page in the book of our nation's history , a book of our nation's history, a history that we write together , history that we write together, not just because i have the honour of becoming the first black leader in any european country, but because a generational dial has jumped to like ken and jane . devolution is like ken and jane. devolution is not something that i have had to get used to or to adapt to, or to apologise for. devolution. welsh . solutions to welsh welsh. solutions to welsh problems and opportunities is in my blood. >> humza yousaf has called on snp members to make history in the general election by making scotland tory free. addressing the party's campaign council in perth, scotland's first minister claimed most of the country seats will be a straight fight between the snp and the conservative he warned the conservative party he warned the campaign, though, be easy, campaign, though, won't be easy, saying our opponents will throw everything saying our opponents will throw evetheing saying our opponents will throw evethe prize for scotland is not

>> the prize for scotland is not just this constituency we have the opportunity to ensure that scotland is tory free, not. not a single tory mp left in scotland. delegates. that is . scotland. delegates. that is. definitely a prize worth fighting for. >> after beating scotland 1713 in dublin, a try from dan sheehan gave ireland a76 lead at half time. another try in the second half from andrew porter looked to have given ireland breathing space, but scotland hit back through hugh to hit back through hugh jones to set nervy finish . ireland set up a nervy finish. ireland hung on though, to win back to back titles captain back titles and captain peter o'mahony trophy o'mahony lifting the trophy in what his last what may have been his last match for his country. what may have been his last match for his country . and you match for his country. and you can get more on all of our stories with our gb news alerts. scan that qr code on your screen or go to gb news. com slash alerts. now it's back to . leo.

alerts. now it's back to. leo. >> thank you aaron, and welcome to the saturday night showdown . to the saturday night showdown. a new hate crime law comes into scotland, comes into force in scotland, comes into force in scotland on april the 1st. that will give the scottish government the power to silence their critics, persecute anyone who questions their gender ideology and even criminalises scots for cracking jokes in the privacy of their own home. so much for the land of freedom . much for the land of freedom. and you don't need to go to a police station to report hate crime under this law, over 403rd party centres have party reporting centres have been set up across scotland in places like a mushroom farm and a sex shop, so you can report someone for thought crime while you're picking up a double ended clam breaker. this law is based on perception, not objective, measurable evidence. police scotland's guidance says the perception of the victim or any other person is the defining factor in determining whether an

incident is a hate incident or incident is a hate incident or in recognising the malice element of a crime . the victim element of a crime. the victim does not have to justify or provide evidence of their belief. evidence of malice and ill will is not required for a hate crime to be recorded and investigated by the police , so investigated by the police, so anyone can report anyone for anything and the police will investigate. and even if they don't prosecute , they'll record don't prosecute, they'll record it as a non—crime hate incident. so the accused person will have a black mark against their name in police records. this law is ripe for abuse. left wing activists are already bragging about weaponising the law to target people like jk rowling. for crimes such as misgendering, by which i mean correctly gendering, which is apparently replacing burglary as the key priority for scotland's police force, who say they're going to investigate every single reported hate crime. this is while drug deaths surged to unprecedented levels in humza's hopeless scotland. you might be thinking , hopeless scotland. you might be thinking, well, this is just

scotland. it doesn't affect me. obviously misgendering is a more urgent problem in a land of hairy women and men who wear skirts. a law like this could never come to the rest of britain. but trust me, it will. scotland is being used as a testing ground, just like it was for the poll tax or for nuclear power. labour supported the hate crime act in the scottish parliament. they'll be in power in westminster soon and they'll bnngin in westminster soon and they'll bring in a law like this for the whole of britain to get everyone in the mood for denouncing each other for thought crimes. humza's government have humza's hapless government have released a ridiculous campaign to featuring the to promote it, featuring the hate monster. let's have a look . hate monster. let's have a look. the hate monster is small and ginger, just when you thought you'd got rid of nicola sturgeon , this line is very revealing. then before you know it , you've then before you know it, you've committed a hate crime. an essential tenant of law is that it should be difficult to unknowingly it. you can't unknowingly break it. you can't imagine someone suddenly realising their burglar

realising their burglar. burglar a house or selling heroin. but police scotland themselves admit that people will find themselves accidentally committing hate crimes. and are we now criminalising anger? in aldous huxley's dystopian brave new world, the government kept citizens peaceful by feeding them soma, a mood altering drug in the brave new scotland. you're threatened with prosecution if you get angry. this whole thing is idiotic. people seething with hate people aren't seething with hate because people look differently to them. people are concerned about uncontrolled immigration to them. people are concerned abou�*medieval lled immigration to them. people are concerned abou�*medieval cultures. igration from medieval cultures. the disintegration of british communities, parallel societies with completely different values to us and islamists being allowed to openly preach hate, biological males suddenly being allowed access to women's safe spaces, children being sterilised and maimed to fit in. with the current mania for gender transitioning , there are gender transitioning, there are legitimate concerns behind people's anger and why are they using a sesame street style cartoon for five year olds to target? angry young men? do they know anything about angry young men? where are the boobs? where

are the robots? hilariously, the hate monster campaign itself breaches the new hate crime law. according police scotland , according to police scotland, hate crime is any crime which is understood by the victim or any other person who is being motivated by malice or ill will towards social group. one of towards a social group. one of the characteristics of the protected characteristics of disability, race, religion or belief, sexual orientation or gender identity. the campaign by police scotland says that it targets young men aged 18 to 30, particularly those from socially excluded communities who have white male entitlement. they're implying that hate is driven by poverty. that's blatant classism , and the terms white male entitlement is a known racist dog whistle used to denigrate and minimise the opinions of people based on their race and their sex. this is even more serious when you consider that police scotland are an armed , police scotland are an armed, ideologically motivated organisation command organisation under the command of known anti—white racist humza yousaf. have a look at him. >> president white, the lord justice clerk white, every high

court judge white, the lord advocate white, the solicitor general white. >> for this reason, i've reported the extremist racist organisation police scotland to police scotland for hate crime. hopefully police scotland will soon show up to arrest police scotland. of course it won't happen. these laws will only work in one direction. they'll be used by the snp to go after their enemies and silence their critics. we've already seen how this happens with the persecution of women such as marion miller. she's a feminist who's critical of the snp's gender ideology, which allows men self—identify as women to men to self—identify as women to gain access to female only spaces such as prisons. she was prosecuted after sharing a tweet of a suffragette ribbon, which was reported as a transphobic hate crime, calling for violence because it could be perceived to because it could be perceived to be a noose, which is obviously ridiculous. the case was thankfully thrown out of court, but the process subjected marion and her children to a huge amount of distress. the state

was sending a message to her and to other people who opposed them , saying we come after you , saying we can come after you even can't prosecute you, even if we can't prosecute you, we arrest you, terrify your we can arrest you, terrify your children, smear your name, and the snp don't stand up for women's bizarrely the women's rights. bizarrely the list of protected characteristics in the hate crime act includes gender identity doesn't include identity but doesn't include biological sex. even though women are targeted based on their sex and are hugely overrepresented as victims of violence and i doubt we'll see police scotland targeting the real hatred in scotland . the real hatred in scotland. the anti—tory and anti—english xenophobia that's festered under years of rule by rabid nationalists. the snp are scotland's answer to the bnp . scotland's answer to the bnp. they marched shoulder to shoulder with ethno fascist group chalanangal, while the police did nothing . but then police did nothing. but then again, they're not a police force anymore. they're the street enforcement arm of the insane left wing ideologists who've taken control of scotland

. that was my opinion. of course, humza yousaf isn't here tonight to defend himself. he's probably got better things to do on a saturday night. but people who don't have a better thing to do on a saturday tonight, do on a saturday night tonight, our in broadcast our tv personnel in broadcast are precious muir. i'm joking, of course. you've got much better do, i'm better things to do, and i'm sure you're booking your limo to take you to the club after the show. >> there we go. >> there we go. >> i'm also joined by comedian bruce devlin, who's come all the way from scotland and is making his showdown debut. comedian ryan mcdonnell. are all doing? >> w- >> i definitely don't have anything i'm >> i definitely don't have anythappy i'm >> i definitely don't have anythappy out i'm >> i definitely don't have anythappy out the i'm just happy to be out of the house, well, this >> yeah, well, this is this is what kids. >> yeah, well, this is this is vimean, kids. >> yeah, well, this is this is vimean, you kids. >> yeah, well, this is this is vimean, you genuinely, kids. i mean, like, you genuinely, genuinely can't go out on a saturday night. bruce. i mean, as scotsman, as a scottish, as a scotsman, one scotsman to another scotsman. worried about scotsman. i'm i'm worried about the crime worried the hate crime law. i'm worried about mean about what it could mean for comedy as well. >> when i was listening to that, i was just thinking how long are we going to have clubs? because you are to have people

you are going to have people that are just going to turn up you are going to have people that their|st going to turn up you are going to have people that their|st gof|g to turn up you are going to have people that their|st gof|g to “their|p with their list of what their interpretation you said with their list of what their int because)n you said with their list of what their int because that's you said with their list of what their int because that's thing.3id is, because that's the thing. they to they don't want to listen to what you're saying. they have a list of trigger words, and i've experienced it myself. so genuinely, times. >> and know, times. » and >> and you know, there aren't carve outs for, for artistic expression. originally the i think the original version of the crime the hate crime, hate crime bill, would have made, could have made plays, illegal. it would have absolutely stifled any sort of artistic expression on stage in scotland to what you were saying about seeing stuff in your house. >> my mum was convinced that there was a law passed that you had to get these smoke alarms. the approved you the government approved that you needed a smoke alarm and a smoke alarm. there and my mother was so convinced there was cameras because they wanted get because they wanted you to get this specific right with a little . little camera. >> yeah. well, i mean, in serious pressures. serious seriousness, pressures. we much we do have pretty much every house has listening house now has a listening device. look at my phone right here as a microphone in it that's constantly listening. i don't know if it's connected to the chinese government, but, you

know, we've all got, what are those amazon things called? the alexa things like that. yeah, so i wanted alexa things like that. yeah, so i given wanted alexa things like that. yeah, so i given that, wanted alexa things like that. yeah, so i given that, weanted to, given that, you know, we don't privacy don't have the sort of privacy of the dwelling defence for, for free speech anymore in scotland , free speech anymore in scotland, they could tap into somebody's alexa, catch them saying something naughty and send them to jail. >> well, i don't think that should right. mean, should be right. i mean, obviously we have to be careful about and mindful of what we say, limit to it. say, but there is a limit to it. i think when it too far, i think when it goes too far, then where is the comedy in life? can't this, life? like, we can't say this, we can't say that. i mean, obviously being a woman of colour, i mean, obviously i have to think about carrying to think about not carrying myself every day and looking the way that i look and how people perceive way that i look and how people perceiv�*to afraid a people to be afraid to have a conversation people to be afraid to have a conv�*don't)n piss off. they don't want to piss me off. yeah, like, you know what i mean? like, i want them to be able to talk to me like a normal human being and not have to be afraid human being and not have to be afraithey say because and they can't say that because of well, the thing. >> well, that's the thing. because the fear, the fear of looking fear. >> e- >> people are walking on eggshells and, you know, they're even avoiding social situations or they're, you know, they're it's breaking the bond, the natural form .

natural bond that would form. >> i mean, even just like working, obviously in the entertainment industry, there's lines now, know, meet entertainment industry, there's line�*greet know, meet entertainment industry, there's line�*greet knlike meet entertainment industry, there's line�*greet knlike nare and greet people like men are afraid even to just hug you because afraid even to just hug you be going to afraid even to just hug you begoing to go, you afraid even to just hug you be going to go, you know, that is going to go, you know, that could get in trouble for giving your colleague a hug. your fellow colleague a hug. yeah. you know, there is a lot of, like, things in the back of people's just people's minds that are just really then there's really afraid. but then there's issues where, you know, obviously the whole metoo movement and all of that stuff. there those there is reasons for those guidelines and those harsh, you know, implement, like everything guidelines and those harsh, you know, come ment , like everything guidelines and those harsh, you know, come out |t , like everything guidelines and those harsh, you know, come out of like everything guidelines and those harsh, you know, come out of those verything guidelines and those harsh, you know, come out of those things ng that's come out of those things is a positive. so there has to be kind of line. is a positive. so there has to be everything ne. is a positive. so there has to be everything ne as a positive. >> everything is as a positive. and i think this is in regards to finding out the facts and what to those young women. >> yes, that is a positive that we to we now know what happened to them. yeah. i mean, ryan, have you noticed that people are getting comedy clubs? have “$- % doing comedy, >> have you been doing comedy, what, now? >> have you been doing comedy, wht15 now? >> have you been doing comedy, wht15 yeah now? >> have you been doing comedy, wht15 yeah yeah,’ >> have you been doing comedy, wht15 yeah yeah, yeah, at >> 15 years? yeah yeah, yeah, at least. >> 15 years? yeah yeah, yeah, at lea first all, i like to think >> first of all, i like to think that every time you were saying the there are the word alexa, there, there are people sitting at with people sitting at home with the speaker like, alexa, play music

100, but but absolutely it does. and the biggest issue that we have is that it's open to interpretation. so it's not necessarily interpretation. so it's not necessa you're trying convey. interpretation. so it's not nec�*what'ou're trying convey. interpretation. so it's not nec�*what'ou're tryininstead. vey. it's what they hear instead. i mean, have made a career out mean, i have made a career out of saying things that i don't mean because i like to cause a bit of shock, and i like to cause a bit of, you know, there's nuance and there's nuance there, and there's nuance there, and there's that there's underlying things that you have take away. but if you have to take away. but if you have to take away. but if you ignore that you just you ignore that and you just take things on a base level, then actually what then it's not actually what you're saying at all, is it? >> yeah. no absolutely. and this, fact this, this perception, the fact that it just relies on the perception of the victim or not even the victim. i'm not saying victim, even the victim. i'm not saying victima hearty even the victim. i'm not saying victim a hearty word. not heard a hearty word. they're not being victimised in any way whatsoever. the victim whatsoever. but the victim or a witness, it relies on their perception. like, this perception. i mean, like, this isn't this isn't something you can really nail to the wall in court. >> @ what e“.- e“.— court. » hearty court. >> hearty whiwhat youjust said hearty word, what is a hearty isn't said hearty word, what is a hearty to isn't said hearty word, what is a hearty to another. isn't said hearty word, what is a hearty to another. so isn't said hearty word, what is a hearty to another. so i isn't said hearty word, what is a hearty to another. so i think|'t exactly to another. so i think it's so ambiguous. >> yeah, yeah. >> yeah, yeah. >> it just because i'm tough skinned, >> it just because i'm tough skinnetake anything i'm really take anything like i'm not sensitive at all. but then you meet another woman who probably find it extremely offensive. it's hard to. offensive. so it's hard to. how do like, put those rules in place? >> well, how do you grade

offence? yeah, yeah. >> or might pretend to be offended so they can leverage it in some way for personal gain. >> but that's why i genuinely thought would do, you thought people would do, you know, like you, know, if they didn't like you, they'd come and see you say a gig that. gig or something like that. and then they really had it in then if they really had it in for you, yeah, they could go then if they really had it in for yothat,3h, they could go then if they really had it in for yothat,3h, titheyould go then if they really had it in for yothat,3h, titheyould gfake down that, like they could fake being but could being depressed, but they could go and see the doctor. mean being depressed, but they could go an yeah, the doctor. mean being depressed, but they could go an yeah, absolutely. mean yeah, yeah, absolutely. >> well, coming up, will >> well, coming up, we will assess week's winners and assess the week's winners and losers in or blessed losers in cursed or blessed this week. the uk week. nish kumar thinks the uk invented racism and scotland week. nish kumar thinks the uk inve|are racism and scotland week. nish kumar thinks the uk inve|are cutting and scotland week. nish kumar thinks the uk inve|are cutting 601 scotland week. nish kumar thinks the uk inve|are cutting 60 murdernd yard are cutting 60 murder detectives money, and detectives to save money, and delivery are renting detectives to save money, and deliv accounts are renting detectives to save money, and deliv accounts to re renting detectives to save money, and deliv accounts to illegal ng their accounts to illegal migrants. and one

welcome back to the saturday night showdown. castor. blessed coming up. but first, i promised i would show you what happened when man his way to the when a man made his way to the

bottom some stairs. bottom of some stairs. >> this is he, drunk ? >> this is he, drunk? >> this is he, drunk? >> oh my god. so, yeah, he hit the. >> he must have hit the fire alarm that looked like. i mean, bits of wall moved and stuff. that wasn't a fire. that was like a nuclear attack. >> alarm down everything in his in surrounding in his like, surrounding area. didn't four things. >> the most anybody has >> the most damage anybody has done some stairs . done falling down some stairs. anyway, now for anyway, it's time now for crystal and my crystal blast. me and my brilliant panel will look at three big stories and decide who are the week's winners and who three big stories and decide who are the losers; winners and who three big stories and decide who are the losers now. 1ers and who three big stories and decide who are the losers now. first|nd who three big stories and decide who are the losers now. first up,who are the losers now. first up, comedian nish kumar has said that the uk invented racism in one his recent sets as well. one of his recent sets as well. we also invented the train queuing and the usa. so put that in your pipe and smoke it nish because yeah, we also invented pipes. you're welcome. let's have . have a look. >> american friend of mine actually me, what do you actually said to me, what do you think differences think the differences are between racism and

between british racism and american thought american racism? i thought for a moment said this. moment and i said this. i believe the difference is between our respective racisms are same the differences are the same as the differences between respective versions between our respective versions of the television sitcom the office. british racism , like the office. british racism, like the british office, is subtle. it's in the pocket. a lot of the time. it's more about what's not said than what is said. america racism goes on and on because it has an infinite budget, and the longer it goes on, the more it is starting to feature increasingly incoherent celebrity cameos. but crucially , celebrity cameos. but crucially, as with racism and the office, we invented both. okay i don't think we invented racism in britain. >> we just we just perfected it. we just exported it around the globe. i mean, i think this is this is nonsense, precious. i mean, the idea that the idea that there is no racism ever in the world got along before britain came along. the world got along before britwell,|me along. the world got along before britwell, obviously. the world got along before britwell, obviously original sin, >> well, obviously original sin, because obviously britain the original. >> so that's why they're going original. >> say that's why they're going original. >> say that.; why they're going original. >> say that. buty they're going original. >>say that. but i they're going original. >>say that. but i thinke going original. >>say that. but i think america to say that. but i think america is probably worst racism

is probably the worst racism i've experienced in my i've ever experienced in my entire life. oh, really? honest. it the first i've ever it was the first time i've ever heard the n—word in my life, right? yeah. so, like, i don't think born think living here, being born here the first here in london, it was the first time leaving the country and experiencing the racism that i received in new york city. and i was just, like, shocked. i was absolutely shocked how blatant was just, like, shocked. i was abs�* racism shocked how blatant was just, like, shocked. i was abs�* racism is. icked how blatant the racism is. >> that's in new york, which was in new york city. >> i mean, it wasn't directly to me. i just want to make that clear. it was in front of me and i heard the n—word about a thousand times, and i just they weren't filming a video. weren't filming a rap video. no, there hip hop people there was no hip hop people around. just literally around. it was just literally a casual manhattan. casual day in manhattan. and i was like, is how they was just like, this is how they communicate to one another. like, just crazy to like, this is just so crazy to me. and it's normal. so me. yeah. and it's normal. so over i mean, must say, over there, i mean, i must say, it's just in your face. and that's difference between it's just in your face. and thatuk difference between it's just in your face. and thatuk differus.e between it's just in your face. and thatuk differus.e betw�*that is the uk and the us. yeah, that is the big difference. >> like scotland. >> sounds like scotland. >> sounds like scotland. >> yeah. >> sounds like scotland. >> all h. before you ask, >> all right, before you ask, i've watched the office. i've never watched the office. >> i thought you're going to say i've never been to scotland. >> do you know sometimes i wish

i'd never been to scotland. in all honesty, i feel it's kind of polluted all honesty, i feel it's kind of polyeah. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> i mean, not going to ask >> i mean, i'm not going to ask you criticise nish because you to criticise nish because i know you're probably to know you're probably going to have with next week, know you're probably going to havibut with next week, know you're probably going to havibut yeah,with next week, know you're probably going to havibut yeah, i ith next week, know you're probably going to havibut yeah, i don't next week, know you're probably going to havibut yeah, i don't knowt week, know you're probably going to havibut yeah, i don't know thiszk, but but yeah, i don't know this idea. sort it idea. i think it sort of it shows, it us a peek behind shows, it gives us a peek behind the of the ideology that the curtain of the ideology that sits behind behind comedy, sits behind behind woke comedy, which know, before which is that, you know, before britain no britain came along, there was no evil world where, like evil in the world where, like the original wee bit, we ate that apple in the garden of evil, garden of eden. >> but then if he did that in scotland, would someone say scotland, would someone not say that? not guilty then of that? was he not guilty then of suggesting that people were racist? people took racist? and then if people took offence then they would offence to that, then they would say, that targeting offence to that, then they would say,because |at targeting offence to that, then they would say,because unfortunatelying offence to that, then they would say,because unfortunately ig offence to that, then they would say,because unfortunately i have me because unfortunately i have a racist look about me. >> exactly. >> exactly. >> an he'd be accused of >> he's an he'd be accused of britain . britain phobia. >> and isn't it just comedy though, to be honest? i mean, i just think i think it's just think it's i think it's absolutely but just absolutely hilarious. but just maybe me, but maybe it's just me, but i thought when i saw that clip, i was laughing my ass off like i thought funny, i'm thought it was funny, but i'm not. take those not. i just don't take those things so seriously. life is too short. it's just funny . short. like it's just funny. >> yeah, if you take it, that'd

be great if i think. but why? but why nish allowed to say but why is nish allowed to say stuff that stage? stuff like that on stage? >> where my tour? my tour >> where is my tour? my tour gets because of gets cancelled because of things. even had a things. i haven't even had a chance to it. they said, oh, chance to see it. they said, oh, he's he's transphobic, he's racist, he's transphobic, he's racist, he's transphobic, he's was he's misogynist. yeah, i was going all things, going to be all those things, but, know, least give me but, you know, at least give me a chance to get up on stage and see before he's man see it before because he's a man of why while all racism >> that's why while all racism is kind of have to is bad, you kind of have to agree with him that anything an american does more annoying. >> yeah, yeah. >> yeah, yeah. >> true. london's >> that's true. well, london's police axing detectives police are axing 60 detectives to millions of pounds. as to save millions of pounds. as we all know, london is a paragon of safety, and we don't really need police officers who do things like solving murders when there are so many tweets to there are so many mean tweets to investigate. don't we just investigate. why don't we just get the lot them? get rid of the lot of them? i don't think people would notice anyway mean, i think this is anyway, i mean, i think this is this is nuts. part of the reason this is nuts. part of the reason this is nuts. part of the reason this is being done is because there are so many protests in london moment. i don't london at the moment. i don't know but know if you've noticed, but a lot people running lot of angry people running around waving isis flags calling for know, kind for jihad. you know, that kind of nice, stuff that nobody of nice, nice stuff that nobody goes for , but because

goes to jail for, but because the police obviously have to have a presence on the street to, to stand and do nothing. well that happens and they don't have enough now, to do have enough money now, to do things like investigate murders. so they're slashing the, the budget for detectors. i mean, this seems ridiculous. >> i think they probably get more obviously the more like, obviously the salaries quite so salaries were quite high, so they're going have they're probably going to have more other things. more budget for other things. right? of those right? i think some of those obviously the people that they're are up in they're firing are high up in the, in, in the force. so kind of removing them and giving more to streets you to money the streets of, you know, policemen and know, for police's policemen and police women on the streets, that would be better. >> think it's better to have >> you think it's better to have like pcsos with a like you know, some pcsos with a two training of no two hours training instead of no actual like taggart style detectives going around solving crimes? >> well, they're not doing much. they're not doing that good of a job because there's still so much crime on the streets. so something needs to change. >> and don't think i don't >> and i don't think i don't think to improved think it's going to be improved by sacking a bunch of police officers. me officers. hey, call me, call me a conspiracy theorist. >> i don't maybe just >> i don't know, maybe they just need regulate money

>> i don't know, maybe they just need andjulate money >> i don't know, maybe they just need and beate money >> i don't know, maybe they just need and be able money >> i don't know, maybe they just need and be able to noney >> i don't know, maybe they just need and be able to givey >> i don't know, maybe they just need and be able to give the better and be able to give the police that actually police officers that actually are the doing the are on the ground doing the work. know, more money, more money. >> i like to put a positive spin on things. so i was actually thinking about going into the whole murdering game, i don't think there was a better time to do that than now. know, it's do that than now. you know, it's like in on the ground like getting in on the ground level the cryptocurrency, level with the cryptocurrency, and a safer and it's definitely a lot safer than the than misgendering someone at the moment. mean, you say moment. no, i mean, you say that, don't that the that, but i don't think that the terms accent detectives was probably that they probably the best one that they could probably the best one that they couyeah. mean, bruce, would probably the best one that they cou�*would mean, bruce, would probably the best one that they cou�*would this n, bruce, would probably the best one that they cou�*would this make ce, would probably the best one that they cou�*would this make you vould probably the best one that they cou�*would this make you feel! this would this make you feel safer, i thought you would it make becoming make me consider becoming a murderer? no, the answer is no. would it make me feel safer? probably not. i agree with you, though. the though. somewhere along the line, is broken. but line, the system is broken. but it seem a bit daft. it does seem a bit daft. regardless whetherthey're it does seem a bit daft. regardless whether they're on regardless of whether they're on an old contract or better paid not to. and also to tell people that they're getting rid of 60 people why do you to people seems. why do you want to give the criminal fraternity a heads up? >> yeah, that is true , actually. >> yeah, that is true, actually. why would you expose that information? it's already encouraged, ryan to start murdering. yeah, there we go. i

mean, think it's probably. mean, i think it's probably. yeah that is very gateway drug. >> luckily, ryan and bruce will just doing their killing on just be doing their killing on the comedy stages. just be doing their killing on the oh,1edy stages. just be doing their killing on the oh, britain|ges. just be doing their killing on the oh, britain this week. just be doing their killing on the anyway.ain this week. just be doing their killing on the anyway. moving week. just be doing their killing on the anyway. moving on.k. just be doing their killing on the anyway. moving on. deliveroo, >> anyway. moving on. deliveroo, uber and just eat delivery uber eats and just eat delivery rider accounts are being traded for use by illegal immigrants through a growing online black market. more than 100,000 people have subscribed to facebook groups where they can rent, buy or sell these profiles for delivery writing apps in the past three years, according to an investigation by the i newspaper. i mean, this seems ridiculous. it's fuelling illegal immigration. it's giving a sort of pull to people to come over the channel because they know they can they can get work without, without being know they can they can get work withcto. without being able to. >> yeah, said this quite a >> yeah, i've said this quite a lot, this lot, actually. i said this before, this even, you know, before, this was even, you know, today saying it, that today i've been saying it, that these using illegal these apps are using illegal immigrants because obviously it's labour. yeah. it's cheap labour. yeah. and they're to them at a they're able to get them at a cost that a uk citizen will not work well, yeah , because work for. well, yeah, because it's simple. it's that simple. >> £100. so

>> between 70 and £100. so they're renting they're renting they're renting they're renting the app for 70 to £100 a week. >> and then they can go and do the deliveries and collections for, for that person who owns the who . the who. >> and i know several buildings, including canary including everything in canary wharf. anyway, they've known this be happening and they this to be happening and they don't allow delivery men don't allow those delivery men to now. right. to go upstairs now. right. because just can't tell if because they just can't tell if it's going to be secure or not, because we don't know who they are. >> well, yeah, this is the thing. like the uber and thing. like the uber eats and deliveroo and all these, these companies, it's companies, they say, well, it's the to do the riders responsibility to do background on the person background checks on the person that app. this you that renting the app. this you mental have you man there's no way they're not like you know these riding these people they're riding a bike in the bike to deliver a pizza in the rain, don't have an hr department back their house department back at their house and like process it, and they can like process it, you do some solid vetting, you know, do some solid vetting, some counter—terror vetting and make you know, let's make make sure, you know, let's make sure never any sure this guy's never done any sexual harassment record they're not to have. not supposed to have. >> of that stuff we have >> and all of that stuff we have no who these drivers are. no idea who these drivers are. we idea how track to we have no idea how track to track them. if they rob track them. if they try to rob you home while they're you in your home while they're

delivering stuff, it's really quite scary. delivering stuff, it's really qui'and ary. is the thing so, so >> and this is the thing so, so this woman, becca, not this woman, becca, it's not a real so don't know why i'm real name, so don't know why i'm even saying she says she even saying it, but she says she ordered groceries the ordered groceries using the deliveroo the deliveroo app. she opened the door and the door in her pyjamas and the rider wanted to check her id because she ordered paracetamol. you check that you need to check that somebody's old enough for that. they paracetamol. you're at somebody's old enough for that. th> you can't say, oh, it's such a dangerous we live a dangerous world that we live in, should stop making

in, so people should stop making it dangerous by voting for it more dangerous by voting for parties just have open parties that just have open border policies. >> i don't agree with it either. >> i don't agree with it either. >> i do not agree with illegal immigration. i i've said this many times, believe in legal many times, i believe in legal immigration. like my father came here in this country legally on a plane with his documentation. and what with. and that's what i agree with. i do not agree with these companies, these massive companies, these massive companies employing people because they're cheaper to pay for. yeah, yeah. and having them deliver to homes with children and mothers, it's unsafe. it's really unsafe. >> and then, as becker said, you know, she she didn't feel like reporting guy because he reporting the guy because he knows where she lives. so there could be. >> exactly. could come >> exactly. so he could come back with mates. and you back with some mates. and you know, make her life a misery. yeah. >> 9 more, yeah. >> more, deliveries of >> with more, deliveries of kebabs whatever. >> with more, deliveries of kebabs food.|tever. >> with more, deliveries of kebabs food.|t> cool food. i mean, the very fact calling it the scandal, the back door into a illegal immigration. i was thinking, if you've got delivery coming to your back door. sackable offence. >> straight away . also, >> yeah. straight away. also, who in london's got a front door and a back door. that's for millionaires only, anyway,

moving next on the saturday moving on. next on the saturday night showdown culture corner, where we'll be delving into this week's best conspiracy theories. so want to which so if you want to know which politician's wives are transgender according to the internet , you won't want to miss internet, you won't want to miss this. plus, i'll show you what happened a man gets a bit happened when a man gets a bit too close to a tree.

welcome back to the saturday night showdown. culture corner is coming up. but first, i promised i would show you what happened when got a bit happened when a man got a bit too to a tree.

so that's a man. that's a man who's created some sort of contraption so he can get a hug from the tree . from the tree. >> that looks a bit dodgy. that is. yeah, that is a man. >> that's a man who needs to get out and start talking to some women . yeah. i think. would you women. yeah. i think. would you like from a tree? like a hug from a tree? >> mum would i need to >> my mum would say, i need to get out and start talking to some woman. no, wouldn't some woman. no, i wouldn't want a teacher. don't a hug from a teacher. i don't want people want hugs from people in general. people are too general. i think people are too huggy, think it's quite huggy, and i think it's quite presumptuous. particularly huggy, and i think it's quite prthey'vejous. particularly huggy, and i think it's quite prthey've been particularly huggy, and i think it's quite prthey've been drinkingicularly if they've been drinking white wine breath wine because their breath will be . yeah, yeah. no, that be honking. yeah, yeah. no, that doesn't anything me. and doesn't do anything for me. and i'm at the time that i'm saddened at the time that he's make he's wasted to make that contraption. actually contraption. it's actually angered . angered me. >> it's angered. yeah. >> it's angered. yeah. >> and also, what if he hasn't, like, a that's going like, built a thing that's going to again? he's just going to let go again? he's just going to let go again? he's just going to embrace. to be trapped in an embrace. he's to live. he's going to have to live. >> worried that he's >> he's worried that he's fetishising the tree. >> what i think. >> yeah, that's what i think. it's a contraption. tree it's a contraption. the tree has been exposed. >> don't think the tree has >> i don't think the tree has given consent. >> i don't think the tree has giv> i don't think the tree has giv> i don't think the tree has giv> no, the consent wasn't given. >> absolutely. >> absolutely. >> at all. >> absolutely. >> and at all. >> absolutely. >> and he all. >> absolutely. >> and he clearly has got hold of anyway. of some wood there anyway. american conservative commentator has commentator candace owens has

been called insane. and a conspiracy nut after she wagered her career on the wild theory that french first lady brigitte macron was born a man. let's watch candace owens break down the theory. >> here is what they are saying, right? so again, i'm going to say allegedly, this is what they have published their theory is that the first lady, brigitte macron, was actually born jean—michel. so brigitte is actually john michael. john michael lived as a man for 30 years, fathered five children. okay. and then transition . and okay. and then transition. and at the age of 30 to become brigitte . okay. now i'm just brigitte. okay. now i'm just going to show you this before and after photo. just right here. they actually used as a part of their investigation, chinese software . chinese software. >> says she says chinese software. >> as if that's some kind of mark of reliability and veracity . i mean, personally, i'm not sure that emmanuel macron is a

man . never mind, never mind his man. never mind, never mind his wife. but ryan, what did you make of this? do you think candace owens is right to stick her professional credibility on this? >> i mean, what i think that the state of the world right now is that if you ask me the question, do you think she's really a man? i don't know the least offensive answer to that. if i say no, obviously not. obviously, she's always a woman. am i going to have her husband knock on my door going, do you reckon my missus a woman, do missus as a woman, do you? >> you could accused of >> yeah. you could be accused of transphobia don't, you transphobia if you don't, if you don't you you don't say that, you know, you think conspiracy is correct? >> well, i think it's an odd thing to. because, okay, it could be but then it could could be true, but then it could not be. but why you prepared not be. but why are you prepared to the line not be. but why are you prepared to something the line not be. but why are you prepared to something that the line not be. but why are you prepared to something that maye line not be. but why are you prepared to something that maye lmay for something that may or may not? all would say is someone not? all i would say is someone like lived like caitlyn jenner lived much longer as bruce and then became caitlyn. so. but i think based on those photos, i'm not necessarily sure . i'm with, necessarily sure. i'm with, candace on this. >> yeah, the fourth tours didn't seem to be the slam dunk

evidence. no i think i think candace owens onto something that makes no sense to me, because if she had lived her life 30 years, there would be other images of her as a man. >> so that to me is just debunked. her whole and also a whole theory. there would be an actual instead of the i honestly thought that before and after picture was going be her as picture was going to be her as an yeah, i mean, showing picture was going to be her as a|young yeah, i mean, showing picture was going to be her as a|young boy, h, i mean, showing picture was going to be her as a|young boy, asi mean, showing picture was going to be her as a|young boy, asi me know, owing picture was going to be her as a|young boy, asi me know, it'ing a young boy, as you know, it doesn't make sense . doesn't make any sense. >> and a children who, you >> and she's a children who, you know, very difficult. >> and she's a children who, you knochildren,ry difficult. >> and she's a children who, you knochildren, it'sifficult. >> and she's a children who, you knochildren, it's difficult >> children, it's difficult to squeeze fufu squeeze children out of a fufu if don't have one. if you don't have one. >> you know what i mean. >> you know what i mean. >> had children. >> she's had three children. i think she's two boys and one think she's got two boys and one girl. her look just girl. and her children look just like her. so, i mean, at like her. yeah. so, i mean, at the day, you the end of the day, like you mentioned, caitlyn jenner has kind a lot issues kind of caused a lot of issues for and in regards to for women. and in regards to this, just it's like they this, just let me it's like they are comparing now to a lot this, just let me it's like they aretransgender now to a lot this, just let me it's like they aretransgender women now to a lot this, just let me it's like they aretransgender women .ow to a lot this, just let me it's like they aretransgender women . there a lot this, just let me it's like they aretransgender women . there hast of transgender women. there has always been masculine women . always been masculine women. yeah. right. so we've got to understand this. not every woman is petite and tiny and five foot one. there are tall women who have big hands and big feet.

doesn't mean they're a man. >> yeah, and really, they're the they're the real victims of the. that's what i'm saying. gender are women out there that are not tiny. >> so yeah. to just keep comparing every masculine featured woman, obviously she's not very feminine in the face and whatever , but she doesn't. and whatever, but she doesn't. it doesn't mean she has to be a man. >> well, this is the perfect thing. introduction for the next segment on which head of state's wife is transgender, video has wife is transgender, a video has resurfaced joan resurfaced of joan rivers calling michelle obama transgender the conspiracy transgender and the conspiracy nut jobs have gone mad. let's have a look . you have it with obama. >> so let's just calm down. got it. no, michelle is a tramp. >> i'm sorry. she's a what? >> i'm sorry. she's a what? >> a transgender we all know. oh my goodness me. >> so. and i don't like to speak ill of the dead, but i think joan rivers might have been smoking something there. although i did see a picture of michelle obama's shoulders . i michelle obama's shoulders. i don't got that don't know if we've got that picture but somebody said,

picture here, but somebody said, how on earth what? that's not the picture. how on earth do i get shoulders like that? what's a workout have i got to do to get shoulders like that, have we got the picture? we don't have the picture, but i mean, like i said before, i mean, at the end of the day, they are masculine females. >> we: f- females. >> a lot of athletes >> there is a lot of athletes that look like that. yeah, right. female athletes that look like that. yeah, righthere female athletes that look like that. yeah, righthere have .e athletes that look like that. yeah, righthere have a athletes that look like that. yeah, righthere have a little tes that look like that. yeah, righthere have a little bit out there that have a little bit more masculine in their more masculine muscle in their body. they're structured in a different it doesn't different way, but it doesn't mean you were born a man. mean that you were born a man. yeah. you know, there's an actress, lange, who's in actress, jessica lange, who's in american she's american horror story. she's constantly caitlyn constantly compared to caitlyn jenner, but she was around long before jenner before caitlyn jenner transitioned . and so it's an transitioned. and so it's an offensive thing to say to a woman who is born a woman that you you are transgender. you look like a man because you just so happen to not be that feminine or have those little feminine or have those little feminine things that make you a little like , you know, little bit more like, you know, what a woman's to look what a woman's supposed to look like? feet and big like? having big feet and big hands doesn't make man. hands doesn't make you a man. >> you think? i mean, is >> but do you think? i mean, is this, result of this, is this just the result of the of democratisation of

the sort of democratisation of media? and now everybody's opinion can be up online and everybody can look at whatever they want. so people are just spiralling down rabbit holes, as you said before. >> there's a conspiracy >> but there's a conspiracy theory on the conspiracy theory and believe so people and people believe so people believe jordan's comment believe that jordan's comment there is a point to this, that jordan's comment was true. >> that's why joan died the following week, right? in a facelift. >> so the deep state went and then killed her the faceless facelift. >> maybe she was saying something shouldn't in something she shouldn't in regards a hateful regards to having a hateful comment against the lady, comment against the first lady, but it's just it's just but i think it's just it's just like, you know, obviously joan rivers was a comedian first. we got to remember that too. she was laugh. sometimes she was just a laugh. sometimes she would out her would say things out of her mouth the carpet and we mouth on the red carpet and we would go, my god, can't would go, my god, i can't believe said but believe she said that. but that's who was as a person. that's who she was as a person. i don't think we should naturally everything naturally take everything she said it's not. you said to heart like it's not. you know, think she believed that. >> but she seemed she seemed she didn't seem to be joking there. and heard heard other and i've heard i've heard other american an actors michelle obama's like

her. >> don't look anything like barack obama. >> really? well, maybe barack isn't the dad. that's another conspiracy that we can start. i'll just saying that they look like mom. like the mom. >> so they said that give >> okay, so they said that give her a give her a break and a run of the mill plastic surgery the next week. >> and she's like, she was so full plastic by the end, you full of plastic by the end, you could out by could have taken her out by leaving too close to a radiator. >> exactly, exactly. >> exactly, exactly. >> god rest her well. >> sorry. god rest her well. >> sorry. god rest her well. >> yes. god. >>— >> yes. god. >> god rest her soul. joan rivers and another, person who we resting peacefully . we hope is resting peacefully. the fallout from the princess of wales failed honour. it's a different princess of wales failed photoshop failed attempt at photoshop soldiers week . there soldiers on this week. there have crazy rumours that have been crazy rumours that kate . people are kate is dead. people are absolutely bonkers. here's one deranged woman who deranged american woman who thinks she knows exactly what is going on. >> update on kate middleton from one of her attorneys . this is one of her attorneys. this is from her lawyer, jeffrey. i believe she's unalive kate middleton's lawyer confirms what no one knew until now .

no one knew until now. >> i mean, just to confirm that woman is pretty crazy, i think. and she is probably chatting . and she is probably chatting. absolute nonsense. kate can't be dead anyway. she's an immortal shapeshifting lizard. and also, who on earth is jeffrey ? is it who on earth is jeffrey? is it this guy? or could it be this guy? maybe it was this guy. >> oh my god , i mean, this kate >> oh my god, i mean, this kate middleton, conspiracy . middleton, conspiracy. >> i mean, it was obviously going to happen after the photoshop photo . the, you know, photoshop photo. the, you know, kate middleton, she hasn't really public for really been seen in public for quite time. and then this quite a long time. and then this photo released of photo was released to sort of quail everyone's suspicions. and then out it's then it turns out it's photoshop. she's like, then it turns out it's phoi)shop. she's like, then it turns out it's phoi was). she's like, then it turns out it's phoi was just she's like, then it turns out it's phoi was just experimenting ke, oh, i was just experimenting with photoshop. like what? with photoshop. it's like what? you even i don't you know, i mean, even i don't believe that explanation for a moment. i mean, people moment. ryan, i mean, people have gone full, full on with it. >> they like, i read one where they think that there is an imminent meltdown, and what they're doing is they're just secret, a all secret, in a way, all the important people putting important people and putting them in bunker under the them in a bunker under the

ground. they must think ground. and then they must think that some point down there, that at some point down there, they've gone right, kate, we need they've need a photograph and they've gone hassle of gone to all the hassle of organising she's organising this. and then she's gone, left my phone upstairs. >> so they're getting all the all rich and famous all the rich and famous people into, into a bunker so that they can repopulate the earth afterwards. >> right. >> right. >> can't we repopulate >> why can't we just repopulate it without famous people? it without the famous people? anyway, week's segment anyway, in this week's segment of painting of what's what? painting is racist apparently , racist today, apparently, paintings of the english countryside evoke countryside can evoke nationalistic sentiments which are bad now. apparently it used to be that your country to be that loving your country was a good thing, but was seen as a good thing, but now it's bad and government now it's bad and our government wonders nobody's signing up wonders why nobody's signing up to their country. to fight for their country. you're allowed to love it. to fight for their country. yotwhat? allowed to love it. to fight for their country. yotwhat? are owed to love it. to fight for their country. yotwhat? are youj to love it. to fight for their country. yotwhat? are you going ve it. to fight for their country. yotwhat? are you going ve risk so what? are you going to risk your for? it, it just seems your life for? it, it just seems that the supply of racism isn't keeping demand pressures keeping up with demand pressures . is, is, a museum . this is, this is, a museum that that said, that paintings of the english countryside can, can invoke nationalistic sentiments in people. and that could be bad because, you know, that's that can be linked to racism and nationalism. >> well, obviously it captures

history. so a lot of people get emotional about history and obviously, you know, when you see things, there are see certain things, there are a lot of slavery there. and lot of slavery in there. and there's women being there's also women being depicted know , cleaning depicted as, you know, cleaning up the house and like caring for the children . i mean, i don't the children. i mean, i don't think it puts light on most think it puts a light on most people anyway . i mean, it's not people anyway. i mean, it's not a very positive thing you go for. >> this was just a nice painting. there weren't just a nice weren't any slaves in nice there weren't any slaves in the mean, the painting. well, i mean, i'm just overall wasn't just saying overall it wasn't painted slaves hung in the painted by slaves or hung in the wall slaves. wall by slaves. >> well, we don't know that, but i'm just saying no. >> i'm just saying, literally, it provoke in a way. it does provoke me in a way. >> say it was a painting >> so you say it was a painting of the countryside. yeah, of the countryside. yeah, yeah, but painting of the but was it a painting of the black country >> oh, that would be. >> oh, that would be. >> actually, my size, got >> yeah. actually, my size, got a that, he's a black a joke about that, he's a black comedian from the from the black country, actually , i country, and. oh, actually, i can't repeat the joke. i've just remembered but, remembered we're on tv, but, it's about it's about it being a real treat. anyway, let's move on next. and the saturday night showdown. we'll be discussing why. oh, we've done why. pete. oh, we've done that one. plus, i'll show you what

happened when a performer tried to get inventive with props. let's a look

welcome back to the saturday night showdown. let's have a look at the performer who got creative with his props . creative with his props. everything that rabbit was . everything that rabbit was. >> oh, nice . >> oh, nice. >> oh, nice. >> that's footage of nick dixon at the gb news christmas party. no, it's comedian chris lynam. i've worked with him before, and he does two things. >> he sticks the firework up and then he puts on a dress. and i'm sure it was a big bar of minero. and he pretends his name is lola. >> and was this a gig or something? >> you pay £180 an hour a gig and he eats the chocolate.

>> but he just talks about being lola and the laundrette until all chocolates spat out. and all the chocolates spat out. and then he pulls his dress. then he pulls down his dress. >> yeah, i mean, i quite >> right? yeah, i mean, i quite enjoyed it. >> yeah, it was different. i mean, it's quite niche. >> okay. well just so everybody knows, he is, he's perfectly fine. >> he fell off the table with a firework up his bum. but he is. okay. but please don't try it at home now. everyone's favourite beer salesman, mulvaney, beer salesman, dylan mulvaney, has and has released a pop song, and it's a real it's all about being a real woman, like he is. it's woman, just like he is. it's called of girlhood. called days of girlhood. let's have listen . prickly alarms have a listen. prickly alarms immediately . immediately. >> we have a code pink emergency calling women of all ages . girls calling women of all ages. girls like me gotta learn the basics . like me gotta learn the basics. let's look quick, change. sip champagne . playing catchup cause champagne. playing catchup cause we miss the pregame . pull up the we miss the pregame. pull up the group chat. where you at? drop a pin. we're doing hot girl >> i can't help but feel that

dillon mulvaney is just larping. he's just pretending and isn't really trans. it seems to be a sort of caricature. >> i think it's almost like a yeah, it's like it's to me, it seems more drag ish than actual a transgender woman. yeah, because obviously i think she's not gone through full transitioning. right? she's still . still. >> well, a lot of transgender women don't, because apparently if you do , chop your, your if you do, chop your, your tackle off, number one, i mean, like, i'm pretty sure even if i was trans, i wouldn't want to chop my tackle off, you know what i mean? that sounds painful right there. >> also you don't. >> i also also you don't. >>— >> i also also you don't. >> a third of people >> apparently, a third of people who do chop their off who do chop their tackle off never experienced orgasm never experienced an orgasm again, which would be. >> didn't know that. >> oh, okay, i didn't know that. >> oh, okay, i didn't know that. >> i that it's a true >> but i think that it's a true commitment. it's kind of commitment. i think it's kind of like to the actual like an insult to the actual transgender women who going like an insult to the actual transgerthe women who going like an insult to the actual transgerthe process,nho going like an insult to the actual transgerthe process, who going like an insult to the actual transgerthe process, who want>ing like an insult to the actual transgerthe process, who want to; through the process, who want to be woman and, you know, go be a woman and, you know, go through the actual full process of, oh, just just of, oh, i've just i've just been informed, we've got to apologise for anyone panel for not for anyone in the panel this time, it's for dylan mulvaney, who in that

mulvaney, who swore in that video, to be fair, we video, although to be fair, we should have realised we should have realised in, when we were clipping it up, i guess, dylan mulvaney doing it dylan mulvaney wasn't doing it live , but not like round the live, but not like round the corner in the studio, doing that actually. let's have a, let's have a look at some of the lyrics, which i think do perfectly sum up womanhood and show how convincing dylan mulvaney is. monday get mulvaney is. monday can't get out morning, pick out of bed tuesday morning, pick up retail up meds wednesday retail therapy, cash or credit ices thursday. had a walk off walk of shame . didn't even know his shame. didn't even know his name. weekends are for kissing friends. friday night all over. spend saturday. flirt for spend saturday. we flirt for drinks. sunday the twilight soundtrack. just like a real woman. cuz my break down in the bath. miniskirt sits below my hips. blonde . hips. dyed my hair blonde. pillow talk my lips, boys on pillow talk on my lips, boys on the floor. finally the dance floor. it's finally clear the patriarchy is over. you hold our beer i mean, you can hold our beer i mean, that's convincingly female. >> it's the beer bud light. >> it's the beer bud light. >> the beer is definitely bud light. >> definitely is. yeah. >> definitely is. yeah. >> the company that she wiped about $25 billion off the market value from . moving on, obesity

value from. moving on, obesity has become a worldwide epidemic, affecting an estimated 1 billion people. so we know everyone's trying to eat more healthily. one enterprising woman got the salad maker, but don't think she's read the instructions properly. let's take a look. >> salad right now out of a big mac , big mac and french fry mac, big mac and french fry salad. i'm on a health journey , salad. i'm on a health journey, and tonight i'm making a healthy choice. i got this salad maker. this isn't junk food. this is healthy . healthy. >> so she's got a salad maker and stuck a big mac and fries in it. >> ryan, it's one of your five a day myth. yeah, yeah, it's a salad on the side of the machine, so that's definitely salad. >> just add some olive oil to make sure it's super healthy. but the caesar dressing, i think the concept obviously was lost on her. >> really? it didn't make sense to get salad maker in the to get the salad maker in the first place. she should have just the meal. just got the meal. >> absolutely. and just >> yeah, absolutely. and just just it looked just eat it. it looked disgusting. into salad. disgusting. made into salad. anyway next it's mark anyway right up next it's mark dolan what you got dolan tonight. what have you got for evening ,

dolan tonight. what have you got for evening, mark, dolan tonight. what have you got for evening , mark, leo, for us this evening, mark, leo, what a brilliant show. >> way. was really >> by the way. i was really shocked mulvaney's shocked at dylan mulvaney's language. getting so language. women are getting so sweary these days, aren't they? >> women need to do better , i >> women need to do better, i tell you. >> listen, leo, we're really busy tonight . we're looking at busy tonight. we're looking at that kate photograph it's that kate photograph again. it's a won't go away. i a scandal that won't go away. i don't think she posed it. don't think she posed for it. and i'll tackling that in my and i'll be tackling that in my big opinion. plus, sheffield university have been debating whether gb news is a problem that needs to be solved. i'll be deaung that needs to be solved. i'll be dealing with that at 10:00 in my take ten. it's amazing. take at ten. so it's amazing. >> well, you so much >> mark. well, thank you so much to brilliant panel tonight. to my brilliant panel tonight. bruce and bruce devlin, ryan mcdonnell and precious . do check out precious muir. do check out bruce, bruce and ryan's live dates and see you again next week. and don't forget headliners as well. tonight at 11 but first, the weather 11 pm. but first, the weather with glaisyer. with ellie glaisyer. >> looks like things are heating up. boxt boilers. sponsors of weather on gb news is . weather on gb news is. >> good evening. welcome to your latest gb news weather from the

met office. so it's been a cloudy and wet afternoon for many of us, all due to an area of low pressure that's been moving its way towards the uk through the of saturday and through the rest of saturday and will its way north and will push its way north and eastwards tonight and eastwards overnight tonight and into the start sunday. this into the start of sunday. this will heavy rain and will bring some heavy rain and has brought some heavy has already brought some heavy rain, particularly to of rain, particularly to parts of southern scotland. even southern scotland. we could even see some across the hills see some snow across the hills and and into early and overnight and into the early hours sunday. further hours of sunday. some further heavy up from the heavy rain pushes up from the south—west affecting parts of england and wales. under all that and rain it will be a that cloud and rain it will be a very mild night, temperatures not dropping much below 10 or 11 degrees, further north there degrees, but further north there will brighter and will be some brighter spells and that temperatures to that will allow temperatures to drop low single figures that will allow temperatures to dso low single figures that will allow temperatures to dso a low single figures that will allow temperatures to dso a chilly low single figures that will allow temperatures to dso a chilly start single figures that will allow temperatures to dso a chilly start forgle figures that will allow temperatures to dso a chilly start for northern s . so a chilly start for northern ireland and of scotland ireland and parts of scotland with widespread ireland and parts of scotland with these widespread ireland and parts of scotland with these regionswidespread ireland and parts of scotland with these regionswi

the south and even for scotland, we could see in the double figures monday, a band of rain situated across the uk pushes its way eastwards , leaving a its way eastwards, leaving a dner its way eastwards, leaving a drier day for most of us. plenty of sunshine through the rest of the morning, but northern the morning, but for northern ireland, turning much cloudier as head the afternoon as we head into the afternoon with heavy rain arriving, with that heavy rain arriving, it then remain unsettled with that heavy rain arriving, it 1muchzmain unsettled with that heavy rain arriving, it 1much ofain unsettled with that heavy rain arriving, it 1much of nextnsettled with that heavy rain arriving, it 1much of nextnsettlewith through much of next week, with temperatures widely above average for the time of year, perhaps 16 or 17 as a brighter outlook, with boxt solar sponsors of weather on

gb news. >> good evening. it's 9:00 on television. on radio and online, in the united kingdom and across the world. this is mark dolan tonight. in my opinion, princess catherine and the royal photo story that just won't go away . story that just won't go away. in my view, this is something a

lot darker and more concerning than just a blunder. find out why shortly . plus a developing why shortly. plus a developing story tonight , as tomorrow's story tonight, as tomorrow's sunday times exclusively reveal that the prince and princess of wales will reveal all about catherine's health issues straight after easter , i'll get straight after easter, i'll get immediate reaction from the queen of royal reporting, kinsey schofield shortly winning the next general election could fundamentally change what we are able to do. impressive guy in the big story. wales are to have their first black first minister, but will vaughan gething undo the damage caused by mark drakeford? i'll get reaction to this huge news in wales and ask what it means for the rest of britain , and it the rest of britain, and it might take a ten. sheffield university today hosted an event entitled how do you solve a problem like gb news? i'll be deaung problem like gb news? i'll be dealing with the sinister forces that would love to close this