stories. rishi sunak has warned that giving sir keir starmer the keys to number 10 would leave the country less safe. the labour leader rejected the prime minister's claim, saying that as a former director of public prosecutions , he knows the prosecutions, he knows the importance of security first hand. but rishi sunak says only the conservative have bold ideas for the future . mps who've been for the future. mps who've been arrested for a serious offence, faced being barred from parliament under new plans. it's after a vote in the commons which comes despite the government putting forward a motion that recommended mps only face a ban if they're charged with a violent or sexual offence. concerns have been raised over the watered down proposals to decide at what point mps should be banned from attending parliament in the us, donald trump's former lawyer, michael cohen, has taken to the witness stand at his criminal trial. he told jurors donald trump personally signed off on a

hush money payment to an adult film to star bury her story about an alleged sexual encounter before it could derail his 2016 campaign. mr cohen used to be one of the former president's most trusted colleagues , but he's now the colleagues, but he's now the prosecution's star witness as the so—called hush money trial enters its fifth week, the former president is accused of falsifying business records over payments made to the adult film actress stormy daniels to cover up their alleged affair. trump has pleaded not guilty to the charges and denied an affair with stormy daniels . the health with stormy daniels. the health secretary has defended the government's record on maternity care after a major new report revealed endemic failures at hospitals as it found mums to be are often treated as an inconvenience, with some women mocked or shouted at and denied pain relief. the birth trauma inquiry is calling for a national plan to improve services , led by a new maternity services, led by a new maternity commissioner, who would report

directly to the prime minister a judge has ruled that parts of the government's rwanda plan should not be applied in northern ireland. the high court in belfast determined that aspects of the illegal migration act are incompatible with human rights laws, and would breach the good friday agreement. the uk government will have the chance to appeal before another heanng chance to appeal before another hearing later this month. the king has officially handed over the role of colonel in chief of the role of colonel in chief of the army air corps to the prince of wales in a rare engagement involving both the current monarch and his heir, his majesty formally handed over the title he's held for the past 32 years. the king said it was a great joy to meet servicemen dunng great joy to meet servicemen during today's visit to middle wallop in hampshire. prince william will now represent the armies air wing, which includes the unit once served by his brother. those are the top stories. and for all the latest,

do sign up to gb news alerts by scanning the qr code on your screen or go to gb news. common shirts . now it's time for shirts. now it's time for headliners . headliners. >> hello and welcome to headliners where we bow down to the altar of next day's newspapers. i'm josh howie. i've got the high priest duties for tonight. here to decipher the mutterings of our oracles. steve nostradamus. alan and louis. the team world is nigh. schaefer how are you both.7 pretty good. both looking very snazzy . well, we looking very snazzy. well, we even collaborated. in what way.7 i even collaborated. in what way? itold even collaborated. in what way? i told him which title. >> you know, he tweets about his tie, mate. >> don't. he tags me in. i get like, my whole timeline is just people goes anti—semitism and semitism and semitism, and then it's louis tie and then it gets back to i think, i think anti—semitism is less contentious than my time. >> there'll be some tweets that

are about your tie that are also anti—semitism. >> this is silk. >> this is silk. >> great. that's and welcome to my timeline there. right. we're gonna have a quick look at tuesday's front pages. the daily mail ozempic slashes heart attack and stroke risk. the telegraph china fury at arrest of uk spies. guardian labour report calls for rent caps to tackle growing housing crisis. financial times anglo rebuffs sweetened £34 billion bid for bhp as significantly undervalued. no idea what any of that means i news british nature in crisis and every political party failing to save wildlife. the daily star, the late great hannibal lecter's a wonderful man. those were your front pages . okay, starting our in—depth look at the front pages. what are the telegraph going with steve? >> their main story china fury at arrest of uk spies . and

at arrest of uk spies. and they've got a picture. as you can see there, of the three spies. i'll give you the name of the spies. there's cheung wai. >> he's known as peter, known as peter? >> yeah, there's cheung yan and. and matthew trickett. one of them is deeper undercover than them is deeper undercover than the rest . i would go as far. the rest. i would go as far. >> one of them has had some surgery. it could be that, like episode of james bond that. that that film was it. it's the opposite. >> it's the opposite of a doctor. no, it's a doctor. >> yes, yes, they've done. that's it. and, lewis, are they. is china furious because they got caught, no. because this is what happens in a war situation amongst countries, even when there isn't any war, they're always ratting on on people, spying on them. the thing about china is, when i think that people need to realise is china is what a threat they are, they're an absolute threat. i my kids at a school, i'm not going to mention what school, he said, but he's in a school with his tons of chinese people there. i was there when the official term, whatever you want to call them, and he tells me that they're watching. they're watching him. they are watching him. >> so do you think that they

might be watching him for the chinese state, my son? no, no. but for ? what you to find out but for? what you to find out information on you. you're a threat to them. it could be. >> we don't know. we don't know what i'm capable. >> no, i know, i know, you're definitely not. >> you'll never find out what you're capable of. that's the biggest tragedy of all of it. >> yeah. lewis. well i mean, what do you think, steve? is it the tip of the iceberg here? >> vie. i suppose it is. it's just that we're actually now paying just that we're actually now paying some attention. we've got some new bill that's been passed. that means you can actually arrest people for things like this. china's not looking happy. i do love that. the quote from the front page of our government saying, we will not tolerate attempts to threaten or harass or silence people in the uk unless it's a protest, in which case we will rush through some new legislation during the coronation to make sure that we can now clamp down on protest. but other than that, we won't let other people silence our. >> and they're not going to throw out three of our guys, which is what they're going to do. this is what happens. >> well, it's interesting because these gentlemen i mean, they've got if you looked at their cvs, it's heroic stuff.

they fought in the armies, they've been in the police. it's is it a case? do you think of them being like, deep sleeper agents, or is it just finally they kind of like, oh, yeah, i'll take a couple of thousand quid to have a look at these hong kong peeps. >> there's a lot of them. yeah. the money motivating thing. this is what apparently the china hack of two weeks ago was all about just getting people's financial info to see who might be willing to take a little bit of money. that was the big worry. so it looks like it is just based. >> well, china, let me save you a bit of bother. i've got nothing. so give me a call. moving on to tuesday's daily mail. >> lewis tuesday's biggest breakthrough since statens ozempic slashes heart attack and stroke risk. >> this is having a stroke. >> this is having a stroke. >> well, no , i might be having >> well, no, i might be having a stroke because i'm not taking i'm not taking statins. and this is this is this is one of those pushes because it's in every newspaper. it's the huge pubuchy newspaper. it's the huge publicity thing for ozempic. i guess they realise there's money to be made in ozempic because it costs £160 a year to take this drug , which a month, sorry, drug, which a month, sorry, a month to take this drug a month

to, which basically makes you thin but makes you thin, reduces your chance, reduces diabetes which reduces heart disease and cancen which reduces heart disease and cancer. so it it's just a good good.the cancer. so it it's just a good good. the fact that they say it's the biggest breakthrough since statins is really the saddest thing because statins is such a minor player in the whole business of i don't know whether you're following it at all. >> no, no. but, steve, is this a danger to thin people, though? who want to not have a heart attack? what's going to happen to them? are they going to lose more weight? >> they already don't have a heart attack. so i'm afraid it's normally the big fatties. >> is this one of your sort of like chicken and the egg situations here? >> oh, i'd have both. and that's why i need some ozempic. because what a scotch egg. oh, chicken meat on the outside. no, this is really good. the actually, the big downside is people who genuinely need the drug because of diabetes, and it's now this originally invented and then tested and approved as a as a diabetes treatment. but they realise it also makes you thin. and people who are vain were just like, oh i'll have some of that please. and they can't get

the supplies for people who genuinely need it for diabetes. but it's good. it's a fake version of a hormone that people have in different levels. thin people have a naturally higher level of the hormone. fat people don't. you replace it with this synthetic cement. it's not true. thatis synthetic cement. it's not true. that is not true. it's true. >> i'm going to go. i'm going to go with steve on this one. >> yeah. you can go with it because people believe it. >> okay. but are there any side effects? side effects. >> no side effects. no, that's not true. there is one side effect, and it's the weird bolus in the stomach of things that don't get digested. they found a higher incidence of people who have that. if you take ozempic the rest of the things in the newspapers, you're talking constipation. no. you know, if, i can't remember what it's called. but if you eat matter, that's not easily digestible. sometimes it just sits in the stomach. the treatment for it is drinking like two litres of coke, because the phosphoric acid, that's the only thing that you get a higher incidence of taking this drug. all the rest of it. absolutely. bang on. >> i'm not so sure about that. we don't know. it's the same thing. like with high blood pressure medication. i think it's just do what lewis schaffer does eat meat.

>> okay, there we go. thank you very much for that. lewis schaffer let's have a look at the guardian. steve labour report calls for rent caps to tackle growing housing crisis. of course it does. but it won't work because rent caps never really work. and what you actually need to do is solve the problem rather than band—aid it. which means more houses, less people, right? fewer people, few people. but, no more houses. even if we didn't, even if you stopped any more people coming into the country. we don't have enough houses. we need to build it. you need to change the definition of green belt. it's not green. they shouldn't call it green belt. some of it is a terrible area, but it's just built to stop urban sprawl. >> so angry. he's getting angry everywhere where everyone lived used to be a field. >> at some stage, because he's been trying to save the cemetery for the last ten years. >> yeah, well, that's part of the thing that i'm trying to do is that is that you're totally wrong. is that we don't. i don't know what you said. i forgot what you said. or maybe just so angry. green belt. green belt. we need a green belt. i agree with the green belt, but we don't. what we don't need is we don't. what we don't need is we don't. we don't need a green belt. what don't we need? >> well, the green belt was put

in place at a time when society was different. it needs to be able to move. it needs to get bigger. urban things do need to grow because they always have. why do we? some somehow think that like 100 years ago, that was the sweet spot. >> yeah. louis, i mean, surely i thought you'd be happy with someone tightening their belt. >> no. where did that come from? i'm getting me. oh, sorry. is that. no. is that. is that right? now we're at where? it's where it's a high point of how many people there are. if we just wait a little bit. the population is dropping. people are dying like crazy. and they're going to need to be fat. which is why i'm against this number one. probably i'm against even me losing weight. number one against it, but also i'm against them building wherever they feel they need to build. there's enough housing. what there isn't. >> it's very clearly not enough housing. yeah, there is the whole point. there's not enough. >> no, there's not enough housing with the amount of rooms and land and square footage or whatever, whatever square metres that people have . that people have. >> yeah. can i throw my favourite stat that i love on this one? there's more square footage dedicated to golf courses in the uk than there is to the square footage of houses. before we say the uk's full, there ain't no space. get rid of a couple of bunkers then. >> how dare you? >> how dare you? >> yeah, but you know what? that's like barbaric. really, i

don't i don't play golf. i think it's a horrible game for horrible people, but that doesn't it still, it's still wide open green space where there's lots of animals and trees living there, you know. yeah, but when you figure out how many where the houses are, if you don't count the front yard, it's not that many houses in the country . yard, it's not that many houses in the country. but that yard, it's not that many houses in the country . but that doesn't in the country. but that doesn't mean we need more of it. doesn't need the whole place needs me. that doesn't mean we need more of it. >> other things mean we need more of it. >> the thing the price of houses is why we need more houses. >> the only reason it's so ridiculously expensive is because we didn't let supply keep up with demand. >> gosh no. >> gosh no. >> this story i just before we move on is about rent. how it's gone insane for young people who are trying to rent on the market. now. it's bonkers. yeah. >> and how and how the guardian, which is the guardian which is like the basically vocal whatever they're the newspaper of team world. they want rent caps. >> okay, finally, daily star, lewis, daily star, the great, the late, great hannibal lecter is a wonderful man, said donald trump. >> and this is in the daily

star. and i love the daily star, basically what they say, he said. donald trump said that they when they joe biden opened they when they joe biden opened the doors and let mentally ill people into the into america and those mentally ill people are a lot like, hannibal lecter. they're eating maybe not eating. >> right. >> right. >> well, you know what it is. he's got a great sense of humour. he spoke for. he spoke for 90 minutes to 100,000 people in in new jersey. yes. that's what we're doing right now. but he's sitting there. there's a hole there. right. making about as much sense. yeah. the truth is , is that donald trump i'm not is, is that donald trump i'm not saying he's a great man, but he's a great stand up comic. and we as comedians should support him, if it weren't for joe biden, we'd be pointing out how deranged this guy's got. and yet, somehow, the one thing making him look not demented is joe biden is the other guy. >> yeah, yeah, that's supposed to be the state of modern politics. unfortunately, the front page is now complete. we shall discard them to get to the gristle in the next section. calm down. louis. coming up. common sense is back in fashion.

the blob fights back and the snp have a women

welcome back to headliners, where our motto is comedians. newspapers insight. and i guarantee tonight that you'll at least get one of them. i'm josh howie joined by the right and left sides of the cortex. steve van allen and louis schaefer. steve. tuesdays times first and the tories are determined to implement some far reaching policies before they fade into the sunset. what is a lanyard? >> yeah, good question, but common sense minister bans rainbow lanyards. you know, the things that go around your neck with a little safety clasp. >> oh, i see those losers . yeah. >> oh, i see those losers. yeah. where? yeah. we don't need lanyards. just get rid of that. that's how hardcore we are. >> we're even more hardcore than the common sense, minister, this is esther mcvey, minister for common sense, which is not a job. so actually minister without portfolio, but call it common sense to make it a bit

more, you know, culture war ii, she used to work for some outfit called gb news, whoever they are. as a little side note , i are. as a little side note, i never look up when i walk in buildings. she's really stepped down the. yeah but this is the kind of thing you just want to mock, right? minister for common sense. as if you could own common sense. you want to know what the people think? they'll tell you in a general election. so let's. given that i'm ready to mark, let's look at some of these policies. okay. here we 90, these policies. okay. here we go, if you work in the civil service, you're meant to be apolitical. so that means no politics. sneaking in, ban all lanyards that aren't the standard issue ones . that's fair standard issue ones. that's fair enough, universities must prioritise domestic students. i suppose, if you've got to prioritise some students, domestic ones . crackdown on domestic ones. crackdown on staff networks for minority groups? what kind of crackpot plan is this to look racist? what have networks ever done , what have networks ever done, well, the civil service muslim network was suspended after officials discussed how to change government policy on gaza dunng change government policy on gaza during its meetings. all right, consult contracts for equality, diversity and inclusion are going to be banned. who's going to sort out your diversity? the ministers damn it. so if you go through all of these annoyingly,

they kind of make common sense. if they made it less culture worry, it would just be absolutely fine. >> but that's the point, isn't it, lewis, that we have got to this point under a tory government where suddenly, near the end of the tory government, arguably they are sending someone in to fix the issues that have come through and they don't have time . don't have time. >> you know, i agree with what he's saying because all those things, they should be cut back. nobody wants to go into an office, a business office. i'm not even a business office. the government, it's the, you know, the state and have somebody wearing a lanyard of a team that isn't you as you want them to be at least perceived to be totally neutral. you don't want them hating you, steve. you don't want me hating you. and so and so. that's why she's totally right . you're right about that. right. you're right about that. josh, do they have time to do this? they don't have time. they've run out of time. and now all these great ideas. i think she just. what's her name? esther mcvey. she just wants to get into the newspaper. she wants to just. look, i'm in the newspapers before the election so people will remember her a few years in. >> no . or it might be that they >> no. or it might be that they feel a little bit guilty and they're like, oh yeah, we messed

up and we'll we'll not leave you in such a bad state because because they forgot the people that they were looking, they were trying to help. >> they were trying to help the mains, whatever it is they were trying to help their own people. and they took the team world side. and now they're being kicked out on their butt. this, this guy, rishi sunak, he's not one of i'm going to get a team world lanyard and wear it every show. well you could get a team world. you go to my website at lewis schaffer at none at dot net, nunhead at twitter at lewis schaffer. you can go there . schaffer. you can go there. >> i'm fine. thanks. >> i'm fine. thanks. >> i'm fine. thanks. >> i would give you one, but i'd have to give josh one. and i'm not giving josh. >> i'm trying to get that mug. >> i'm trying to get that mug. >> he threw one on the ground because he gave me the wrong mug. no. which mug did you want? >> i wanted the one with you on it. moving on to the mel lewis. and they dems are going on strike. civil servants could go on strike over government policies that they claim are transphobic. >> this is in the daily mail and yeah they don't. this is like the public and commercial services union. whatever there's another union i don't know. there are so many unions in this country that always go on strike and they say they could go on

strike. well, they can go on strike. well, they can go on strike for anything thing, because that's a it's a free country . maybe it's not, but country. maybe it's not, but let's just say it's a free country and you could go on strike. so yeah, they say that we don't like what the government is doing. they've got anti—trans guidance and we work for the government. so we're not going to do it because we don't want to. we don't want to do that. well, they should be fired. people people should be fired. people people should be fired or maybe killed. they should just go all the way and get rid of the maybe you don't get rid of the maybe you don't get maybe not killed, but, well, why not? >> well, steve, what is this? anti—trans guidance that they're talking about here? >> oh, they're upset that parents might have some sort of a say in something. >> i know it's parents allowed to choose and be told and informed about their children's decisions that would affect the rest of their lives, and they want no part of this. >> although, to be fair, just a little bit of pushback is this is a motion that's been tabled, ready for their conference of some branch of the union. and if it's not voted on, hopefully this could disappear. yeah. there's some hope in this story that the headline makes it look like this is going to happen. they're going on strike on tuesday. let's just hope it was just someone wrote something and

everyone would be like, exactly . everyone would be like, exactly. >> do you agree with, mr schaefer over there that if they were to strike that it would be means grounds for dismissal? >> i don't know. >> i don't know. >> well, because there's this idea and i've resisted it of the blob. and this is sort of used as a, this, this, this sort of the big baddie that, that we can't identify that's basically within the civil service that is stopping the implementation of the government. now, the government won fair and square. now, you could argue that the prime minister, since then weren't voted in, but there has been this kind of seeming resistance, and this seems to be the blob made flesh . the blob made flesh. >> yeah, i push still push back against that because of the stories we covered about the, the, the strike happening or the court case of the civil service union taking the government to court over rwanda and all the headunes court over rwanda and all the headlines new, the newspapers knew they were wrong to say the headlines. they're stopping the flights . no they're not. they flights. no they're not. they just wanted legal clarification because the civil servants have been given a job to do and a civil service code, and they don't match. >> and they were stopping the

flights. they were stopping them. >> whoever the twitter person says is that you'd get interrupted tonight . so retweet interrupted tonight. so retweet something, don't they? because. because why are you talking to him? >> you should talk to me because i'm the one who's. he's. he's the neutral observer. he's the host, right? >> he needs to be involved at some point. no. so i think a lot of the stories make it look like the blob is doing the blob thing. when that's not true, see. >> okay, well, lewis, let's get you up now. tuesday's guardian next steve. and is belfast safer than rwanda? >> yes, technically rwanda deportation law should not apply in northern ireland court rules. >> just when you thought it was safe to go into rwanda and the uk government considers an appeal to this now. so the good friday agreement and the post—brexit windsor framework rely upon the european convention of human rights, rather important in that area. the judges said that the rwanda plan would reduce the rights of people in northern ireland technically and specifically, including asylum seekers. but it's like two weeks since we had the story where ireland was saying this rwanda plan means people are coming into the uk,

making it into northern ireland and going through the border. passing this law now is effectively saying, hey, stop here, why bother going over that extra border? just let's all gang up in northern ireland. rishi sunak said the judgement will not derail it. so it's doomed. i mean, whenever a prime minister, this is it. >> i mean, lewis, i don't know if you got to the grips of the intricacies here, but she says rishi sunak says it's not going to derail it, but it sounds like it could well derail it. >> it could derail it. there's a million things. it's going to be derailed. this is just it's first of all, we don't know if the idea is going to work. we'll send somebody to a supposedly a horrible country and then they won't want to come to our horrible country. >> i suppose he is. it's not that horrible. yeah. what? >> iran. what rwanda . yeah. no, >> iran. what rwanda. yeah. no, i know, but but it's more horrible than we are here. people didn't go across europe, across asia to go to rwanda. >> but this is another thing the newspapers have been saying about how we're calling rwanda not a safe country. the only reason the supreme court said it was not safe is because people could be sent back to their home nafions could be sent back to their home nations from rwanda. rwanda is

safe. the home nations have a genuine asylum seekers not safe, because that's why they're left in the first place. yeah, no one's saying rwanda is not safe . one's saying rwanda is not safe. >> so what are you saying then? i don't understand what he's saying. what i'm saying is, is they don't want they don't want people in in northern ireland are not going to be sent across the border. so that'll make the irish people on the other side of the border happy. and the irish people living in northern. some of the irish people living in northern ireland have . in northern ireland have. >> the northern irish people aren't happy anyway. so it's kind of. yeah right. more guardian. and what next to the tory plan of ending homelessness by putting them all in jail? yeah, well, this is another one of those stories braverman plan to criminalise rough sleeping dropped after tory criticism and there was a plan to make it illegal to be a rough sleeper , illegal to be a rough sleeper, not even to be a rough sleeper, but to look like you're a rough sleeper. >> just arrest somebody for being a rough sleeper or look like a rough believe it was to smell like a rough sleeper was the actual add to smell, but they didn't even say they even meant smelling. they just meant you like prepared for rough sleeping. so they specifically said smell in the bill. they didn't mean smelling. they, the

woman said she didn't braverman say, we didn't really mean exactly. >> they said smelling . >> they said smelling. >> they said smelling. >> they said smelling. >> they did smelling, but they did mean it that way. maybe they did. anyway, the point is, the point is this is one of these too late, you know, the elections coming up in half a year or something, maybe , i year or something, maybe, i don't know, when is the election going to be in november? may next year. so at least the most the year, january next year, most of the year. so the year, january next year, most of the year . so they're most of the year. so they're saying i just i most of the year. so they're saying ijust i don't most of the year. so they're saying i just i don't like this. i didn't like this plan because it's so anti. it's like you're welcome i'm coming home. we're going home late at night and we'll look a bit tired and we're just like, maybe you smell a lot and we smell a lot. from what? from stephen. hi. hugging. >> you famously say you don't brush your teeth. i think you'd be sent straight to prison, yeah. could be. i'd be in favour. i do not brush my teeth. >> so, steve, the bill is still happening. that should be clarified. but they've watered it down, taken out this smelling stuff. and the idea is that the police have to now offer advice or options to rather than just arresting people for being smelly. essentially now, the whole point is that they they have to then offer advice, not

that that's necessarily going to deal with the issue. what it seems to me is this idea that kind of like just build these extra flats, this is what labour are saying and yes, build properties. and this guy from christ is saying, you've got to build thousands more social homes. that's a great idea. but ihave homes. that's a great idea. but i have friends who work in this industry or industry, but in not for crisis, but for their competitors and it's not just about building homes. >> that's the problem . oh, it's >> that's the problem. oh, it's not 100% solution. just give properties, open doors and they'll just find their way in. there are people with mental health issues, which means they wouldn't accept the health, the help. but you solve some of the problem by by having extra housing, and then you find other ways to tackle it. do you not coming up with a new bill makes sense. the vagrancy act was 200 years old. it needed reworking wording. it was a braverman thing of putting words into look tough. even ian duncan smith's taking part in rewording it. so if he's doing it, he's watered it down nicely. it actually makes a lot more sense now. it will do some good. >> all right. well, there we go, we made it halfway , and we've

we made it halfway, and we've got a lot more gas in the tank. obese, skivers, underpaid female basketball players. question mark and woke punch and judy. yeah, this. oh, yeah. oh, yeah . yeah, this. oh, yeah. oh, yeah.

i >> welcome back to headliners. and it's tuesdays independent. lewis telling us why you've never had a day off. >> is this about fat people? is this the one we're doing? >> it's always about fat people. >> it's always about fat people. >> obese worker. no, i wasn't always fat. but i was fat for about five, five years. obese workers in europe are far more likely to take time off sick, study finds. this is shock. shock? exactly. we all know this. first of all, first of all, food. the food that people are eating causes sickness. it makes people sick by making them fat. so if you're going to get fat, you're going to get sick. if you're going to get sick, you're going to take time off. so i don't even know why this is news. this is a non—story. we know that. but they're trying to

do is they're trying to present it as is, like there's fat people and there's bad food. but the rest of the food, the reading is okay, those people are just eating. >> i think they really talk about that. it seems to be more that people are calling awareness to the impact on our society. the millions of pounds this is costing us, not just the health services nhs. in our case, 19 is 19 million or 19 billion. the billion billion. yeah. and then there's also like another 80, million just from loss of earnings. yeah. >> but why are they saying that. >> but why are they saying that. >> well, because they'd like us to be thin and ask him. >> ask him the question on. >> ask him the question on. >> well, why are they saying that his productivity isn't if you want to get productivity up, start by having large people who stay at home. you know, they struggle to get out the front door for so many reasons with one of them. but is they , you one of them. but is they, you know, they get ill, they stay ill for longer as well. so not only more likely to take time off, more likely to spend longer sitting around watching daytime tv. >> but answer josh's question, >> but answerjosh's question, he had a very good question for you. why is why is this in the independent, which is a newspaper ? newspaper? >> that is so because instead of

just talking about the health cost, they're talking about the economic cost. >> yeah, but why do they care about this ? about this? >> what do they care about the economy? yeah, it's a really good question that. >> yeah, that's a really good question. >> i mean, this is a european, study, there's the european congress on obesity, which is taking place in venice. it's got fantastic nibbles, lots of celery sticks . celery sticks. >> i imagine they're christians. there's no food. yeah, that's why they're wondering why people are fat. >> but do you think that there's any of this, your normal thing, steve, where you go on about, like, there's the cause and the effect and the mixing up correlation versus causation , correlation versus causation, no, because i think, look, i've spent i'm the largest one on the panel spent i'm the largest one on the panel. i can speak from the for the fat people when my weight goes down and when i'm bigger, it is just harder to do anything. it's easier to be, have your self—esteem and energy absolutely thwarted when you can't even fit into your trousers. so of course, you stay at home. you just. you get weaker. >> do you think, before we quickly move on, steve, and i'd like you to ask louis as well. do you think people will start

getting angry towards obese people to say , look, the cost to people to say, look, the cost to our economy, the cost to our health services? do you think that there's a chance of this kind of some being, some kind of backlash? >> the normal pushback on smoking is how much duty you pay . so as a fat person, i'll say, do you know how much vat i pay on my snacks? i'm keeping this nafion on my snacks? i'm keeping this nation afloat , actually. thank nation afloat, actually. thank you very much. >> what do you think, louis? >> what do you think, louis? >> i think that's an interesting point. i hadn't thought about that. are people getting angry at fat people? i'm getting less angry at fat people because i see just how much food is around . it's not like it's almost not. when i was fat, i wasn't thinking, oh, i'm doing a bad thing. i don't i'm not angry at fat people, but once you tell a fat people, but once you tell a fat person, you do not need to be fat and forget about this ozempic i'm just saying the kind of food you're eating, you do not need to be fat. >> okay? all right. steve, the times. and who wants our kids to be a different kind of thick, give children less homework to keep them active. >> study says limiting their homework means they spend 45 minutes less a day sitting down, but it's the good sitting down. it's the homework . it's very it's the homework. it's very much feels like because the

study they did, they looked at onune study they did, they looked at online gaming homework and tuition. and this story just goes, well, let's do less homework. then they got like, let's do less of the online gaming. also, bear in mind that this study took place in china . this study took place in china. so it's not saying we need our kids need to do less homework because they're already doing a lot more homework. the amount of homework our kids are doing in comparison in the only solution would be make them do less homework. make them be stupid so they don't like maths. maybe they don't like maths. maybe they like sports more. maybe they like sports more. maybe they they have got friends. those kind of people i never liked at school. they'll be the ones who go out and stay fit. >> you're talking about yourself really? >> but i don't know. you saw through that thin veneer, louis, this is one of those annoying things where, of course, the headune things where, of course, the headline doesn't match the real material here in the article, because it's saying, yeah, give them less homework. but as it points out, they're actually really what they cut down on. what seemed to work was cutting down on gamers time where not the parents were told to do this, but the actual companies that provide online gaming now were said. you have to restrict individuals to a certain number of hours a week, and that's what

worked. and what they're saying here is that take the power away from the parents. now, that would, of course , lead to would, of course, lead to accusations of the nanny state, but it worked . but it worked. >> it worked in this study. you cannot believe it. first of all, it was in the times, which is like lies. it was from china , like lies. it was from china, which is a lying culture, the whole chinese culture. the ccp , whole chinese culture. the ccp, the chinese communist party is a cult, and they're on the way out. it's going to end in a minute. there are only one state in china. you don't know what any of this, which is true. it's it comes from china where they just want to tell people what to do. that's all these people do, is to tell people what to do. i think we'd have to read this 3 or 4 times. >> there are also researchers in the university of bristol have sort of got some of the quotes. so unless you're saying i mean bristol, they are wrong'uns , but bristol, they are wrong'uns, but they're not quite. >> i think they are wrong'uns too. i would say that they're i don't want to say that because my kids at school at bristol, but they the point they make is that it's easier for a parent. >> instead of saying, i'm saying no , say if you do it, it's no, say if you do it, it's against the law. tell them that anyway, their kids, they don't know what the law is. make it up. >> and my kid is 14. he thinks

he's not allowed a mobile phone. i want to give you a phone. >> i'm desperate to. i'm not true. >> that isn't true. but he does what? tiktok. and he's doing my absolute nothing. lewis. the guardian has an incredible story . now, not only do women now play . now, not only do women now play basketball, but they actually expect to be paid for it, they do expect to be paid for, which is a mistake. and this is this is this woman, caitlin clark . and she will earn caitlin clark. and she will earn 2% of the median nba salary . 2% of the median nba salary. nba's national basketball association in america. god bless america , is this is this bless america, is this is this as ridiculous as it sounds? because she was just signed on to be with the nba. but the truth is , is that the people truth is, is that the people aren't really into into watching women play basketball. it can be very entertaining to watch women jump very entertaining to watch women jump and cavort around, but they they're not nobody's going to these games. it's not like what's going on in american basketball . so they're paying so basketball. so they're paying so much less money. and this is a typical article in the guardian, which is, they should be women should be paid as much as men. but women are not as interesting

as basketball players to get the money. >> well, it's slightly gets a bit more nuanced than that later on in the article , but for the on in the article, but for the point that you're saying the first three. yeah, but the point but the point is the nba actually, i believe, subsidises , actually, i believe, subsidises, yes, the women's nba. >> so there would be the point is if it talks about women should earn should get what they earned fairly. >> we go well in that case technically she'd earn negative money. i'm sorry, but but is it. but that's what i'm saying. but it does get a bit more. no, but it does get a bit more. no, but it gets more nuanced later because they said that they've signed a bad tv deal. they're going to break away from the nwa, nwa, nba . yeah, always nwa, nwa, nba. yeah, always break away from nwa. eazy—e and, but and when they do the deals will become a little bit better. yeah. >> that's why it can't be solved at the moment. i mean, early on, it makes a really good point that if they got paid the same as the men, it would just

financially cripple the clubs. they don't have the money because they're not getting the money coming in because no one's watching them. but then when you look at the profit sharing deal, the men get 50% of the money to be paid to them. the women only get like 50% of it. beyond profit expectations. so all you could do is just like, oh, actually, we'll earn even more and the women will get paid less. so the contract is unfair. but the headline makes it look like, oh, they should be paid the same as men. and that's that wouldn't be. >> so somewhere in the middle. now, there's something in this article. i know it's the guardian, but i do have to bring it out because it is the it's the thing that's wound me up. the most in in a few weeks of pretty annoying newspapers, is they talk about here. they said that they only they earn , so that they only they earn, so they're talking about this individual here. she earns slightly more in four years than the average male dentist makes in one. >> yeah. why bring dentists? >> yeah. why bring dentists? >> why male dentist ? like. like >> why male dentist? like. like there are no female dentist. like a female dentist and a male dentist don't earn exactly the same because it's such a lot. and then they finish the article off with going, and they go, and maybe one day they'll earn far more than the men who might treat their teeth or whatever it's like. again just go to a

female. why do you have to bring male dentists in? because that's the big difference. >> why do you have to. >> why do you have to. >> no, no, i'm just saying, of course it's the guardian, but it's ridiculous. >> steve, talk us through this male story concerning the new judy and judy show, that that's not the way to. >> that's not the way to do it. there's the voice, puppeteer. 20 strikes, a woke blow. there's the word we'll come back to for women's rights after reworking misogynistic punch and judy routine. don't worry, they still row. it's just that they don't hit each other. she still nags him, but they're not allowed to hit each other , so it still hit each other, so it still sounds like absolute hell, don't worry as well. they still hit the policeman. so domestic abuse bad. attacking one of our first responders. it's a bit of a laugh, isn't it? >> sounds a bit. black. lives matter. >> yeah, he's gonna have a laugh about that in ninth. >> they point out in 1947. so they try. they council tried to ban punch and judy come to today and this spike lidington is invented. this version where there's no domestic abuse in there's no domestic abuse in there at all. it's part of a developed with the university of exeter as part of their duty product project, named after

richard and judy . because we all richard and judy. because we all remember, we all. let me finish the joke . the joke. >> oh, sorry. sorry. >> oh, sorry. sorry. >> we all remember who interrupts tonight . interrupts tonight. >> lewis are we? >> lewis are we? >> we all remember the episode of this morning where judy had a black eye. do you remember that one?it black eye. do you remember that one? it actually happened strangely. >> no, no . >> no, no. >> no, no. >> well, it's. and it was, as we eventually found out, not the worst thing that happened at this morning backstage. but anyway, but it's interesting. they only do the one side gender on this, and it's one of those stats that the way we talk about domestic abuse and it makes it seem like it's a one direction problem. and i was listening to a podcast last week and it's1 in 3 women will be affected by it, one in 6 or 7 men. it's just half the way we talk about it . half the way we talk about it. >> it should be one of the men who those are the men who admit it. we don't know how many, how many men have been bell lewis, did you have punch and judy in when you were? >> we didn't. >> we didn't. >> we didn't have this. and when you find out. what about i know what punch and judy is now. don't you don't want to see your kids being being having to see somebody being hit in school. do you want to see that? you don't want to see it? so i think i

hate to say it, i think they're right. not to allow that to happenin right. not to allow that to happen in in the school. how dare you? >> this is a british institution. you're going to come on here. you're going to take the money from gb news and then you're going to say ban punch and judy. >> it's a double insult called what i'm getting the times next has good news, lewis, for those who don't live in london and want to see a stabbing. yeah, well, this is this is the. yeah. god bless this guy elon musk wins court battle to show sydney church stabbing on x. there was a church there was a stabbing in in sydney. >> just because they didn't cut to show your stabbing motion there. >> well am i allowed to do that? there was a yeah it was bad, i don't know. they almost killed the guy i think. and they and stabbed in the head. got stabbed in the head. he was bishop. he was a bishop. so he was a christian guy. and he was stabbed by a muslim guy. and the australian said, please take that off of our twitter that's going on around australia. and elon musk said, no, i'm not going to do it. but but facebook did it, which is why i'm not on threads. i'm only on i'm only on twitter very quickly. >> steve, this is a big deal because he did take it off or he

did a geo tag or something on it , but they wanted it a geo block, but they wanted it to take it off the whole world. yeah. and he's like, you don't control the whole world. australia. yeah, this is a big deal >> did i get it wrong ? >> did i get it wrong? >> did i get it wrong? >> no, no. but i think john makes a really interesting point about the fact that it's easy to circumvent the geo tagging, but that doesn't mean then you get to ban it across the whole world just because some of your citizens know how to use a vpn doesn't mean it's wipe it off the internet. no australia, of all the countries to think you run the world. >> so he didn't force it. >> so he didn't force it. >> yeah. and it's not it's not actually that easy to use a vpn. let me just give you an example. louis, do you know what a vpn is? >> yes i do no okay. >> just the final section to go. and, you know, hold back a few calls. i was thinking that why was i 50 christians internal

welcome back to the final section of headliners. and just a little message for david. 86

18761 on x stroke twitter. yeah. whatever, mate, right, 18761 on x stroke twitter. yeah. whatever, mate, right , steve, whatever, mate, right, steve, let's kick off with tuesdays telegraph and a shout out to our viewers on youtube. >> the internet is good for you. finds oxford study amid panic over i. we will look back on the good old days of seeing real people. the other side of the screen says an expert. well, that doesn't make it seem like it's good for you. it just makes it's good for you. it just makes it seem like it's going to get a lot worse. yes. so enjoy the rubbish that it is right now. but experts analysed more than 2.4 million people from 168 countries and found that the overwhelming impact of the internet is good. and actually it makes sense if you pause for a second and think, have you been on the internet? because it's great. it's loads of stuff on there are loads of stuff. it connects you to people that you couldn't be connected to. you don't need to go to a library. you can learn loads of things. all of the good sides of the internet we absolutely take for granted now and then say god sent this message that really annoyed me. like, imagine hosting a tv show and being like all het up about someone who tweeted a thing that kind of thing. >> that's just so petty, so

petty. who on earth would be that pathetic? who would do that kind of thing? louis internet good or bad? and they by the way, in this article, they don't actually say any reasons why it's good. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> so is it better? is it worse? i don't know what it is. i know the world hasn't gotten much better in the past 20 years, but some people have felt this better. you know , i'm sitting better. you know, i'm sitting here, sitting here discussing something, and somebody has a question. you can go, well, what is the you know, something you could ask a question of the internet. >> show me pictures of louis when he was fat. >> yes, exactly. i'd like to see that. we're going to have to pull one up anyway. >> you know what i'll do if i see a picture? the answer is this is the most non non non non non story ever. >> but i think as as steve rightly said it's not that the internet is good for you. they're kind of just going yeah it's do you remember when it was bad and now it's worse. well guess what. in ten years time we're going to be going oh wasn't that good. it's ridiculous right. louis the male next. and what's bafta chosen as its top boy? >> i had a problem with this one. bafta view. this is the male bafta, bafta, bafta, bafta viewers. after woke they view as

fury after woke judges pick top boy over happy valley for best drama series. succession and the bear and the bear lose out. >> you're in top boy, aren't you? >> you're one of the i'm in a lot of i'm in a lot of these series, but i don't i don't even know what they are because they're called like, funny names to prevent people from finding out that i'm in it anyway, i don't know, i don't know any of these shows. i don't know any of these shows. i don't know any of the people that got it. they're basically complaining that the people that we liked didn't win. so this is something that happens every year. they're saying that people who are woke, they used reasons every every year are is subjective , have you year are is subjective, have you seen either of these two shows? because it seems like the happy valley thing was a genuine phenomenon. yeah. and top boy was not. >> no. but i think everyone's forgetting what awards ceremonies are. they're not what's the best, most popular thing that would simply be look at the viewing figures and tally up us, do a spreadsheet . let's up us, do a spreadsheet. let's all go home in case we headliners a win this easily. yeah this is award ceremonies.

are people in the industry slapping themselves on the back going, it really is very good. so don't expect the popular things to win. expect the pretentious things to win. it's the baftas , for crying out loud. the baftas, for crying out loud. this. having said that, i once worked on a bafta nominated show that year was good, but for the rest of it, this is don't expect the things i think they like. >> what they're trying to say is that top boy wasn't these sort of pretentious show about males saying that, so why do they , as saying that, so why do they, as you say, it's all subjective. >> if you've got five nominees, it's possible to win by getting only 20% of the vote, or slightly over 20% of the vote. so it makes a lot of people unhappy, which is why this is just a click thing. >> i can't believe the succession didn't win international. that's my thing at times. now steve, a fan of christian rock, you are. how does this story make you feel? >> sunday service for swifties aims to attract younger church goers. this is tiny wakeman performs taylor swift songs at a service. oh, this is the cringiest thing. there's nothing more embarrassing than a religiously type person trying to be cool. hey. and with it like some some supply teacher

who's who's a christian who goes, actually, you know, i knew a man who was in a gang. actually, he was jesus christ. are all cringe. so get ready to clench when you read more of the details. how they do dancing. this service is dedicated to the ubiquitous swift. they say, no one expected that taylor swift would have such a response. said this whatever the why not? taylor swift has a response in anything, turns up anywhere, and suddenly everyone absolutely loves it. to address gen z in their own language, he started thinking outside the box. he also wants to do events with previous musical artists, including bob dylan, madonna and michael jackson. oh yeah, that's, that's. you can take the altar boy out the priest, but, whatever that . whatever that. >> i think that guy was making a joke. he was just saying, how can we make money out of this thing? i don't know, the fact is, they like taylor swift because she's about as good looking as you get. you can get. >> and that's without being too good looking. >> that was jesus main message, right ? moving on to the >> that was jesus main message, right? moving on to the mail and lewis me oh me. >> oh no question, spooky spooky

mind reading implant place. i read this thing i didn't understand it myself. i've been. i've been really bad today. this is the one, i think, the worst show i've ever done, steve, let's move on. spooky mind . let's move on. spooky mind. don't. don't interrupt me. spooky mind reading implant plays deep inside your brain. can decode your internal monologue with 80% accuracy. well, that's the headline. as as josh says, that's one of those articles that has nothing to do with. >> there's no 80% anywhere in the world because you don't have an internal monologue. you just literally say it. i just say very quickly when i finish more mail, and it's the best story of the night and made me super happy. there's just one problem, steve, this is so good. >> yeah, the hairdresser is introduced chat free silent services for clients who hate having conversations. i. i hate chit chat so much i went bald and now look. but they came up with this plan. as an introvert , with this plan. as an introvert, you can just suggest that you want the silent treatment and then you go in and they don't do it. you can do the same with uben it. you can do the same with uber, by the way. you just tick the box that says you're hearing impaired so they don't even try and speak to you. >> what about you, louis? i mean, you still have haircuts,

don't you, i like people talking to me. yeah. so that's that's what i. i haven't gotten a haircut professionally. i cut it myself. everybody knows i brush myself. everybody knows i brush my own teeth, and i cut my own hair. >> wow. there we go. show is nearly over, anybody? >> thank you, thank you. offer him a free haircut. >> we'll see, let's take another quick look at tuesday's front pages. the daily mail as mpix slashes heart attack and stroke risk. telegraph china fury at rest of uk spies. guardian labour report calls for rent caps to tackle growing housing crisis. financial times. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah i news british nature in crisis and every political party failing to sell wildlife. and finally, the daily star , the late, great hannibal star, the late, great hannibal lecter's a wonderful man. and those were your front pages. thatisit those were your front pages. that is it for tonight's show. thank you very much to steve and to lewis. headline is back tomorrow, 11 pm. with leo paul and hopefully nick. and if you're watching at 5 am. then stay tuned for breakfast. but for now it's good night. good morning. thank you forjoining us. >> us. >> a brighter outlook with boxt solar sponsors of weather on . gb

news. >> hi there, time for a look at the weather with the met office for gb news. cloud and rain moves east very slowly over the next 24 hours. showers follow the main band of rain that we've seen across western parts during the day, and it's going to turn cooler across the country as we lose the warm sunshine that we've seen. so much of during the last few days. we do keep some clear spells in the east on monday night, but it otherwise there is this cloud and rain progressing its way very slowly eastwards, followed by showers into the southwest, interspersed by clear spells where we do get some clear spells in the west. temperatures will dip into the single figures, but otherwise it's 12 to 15 celsius. first thing tuesday and a damp, dreary start for central and southern scotland, northern and eastern england. that rain really persists throughout much of the day. it does become more fragmented into the afternoon, so on and off rain and nothing particularly heavy. but a marked

contrast compared with recent days, with temperatures back to 16 to 18 celsius, a little bit cooler than that, where we've got the persistent rain and where we've got the low cloud hugging the coast further west, we keep some clear spells on tuesday and into wednesday clear spells, some sunshine in between , any showers. but those showers will be quite lively across southwest england in particular, a few rumbles of thunder around driest and brightest for northeast scotland. but otherwise we've got the cloud and some damp weather to contend with in the east. thursday and friday. further sunny spells and showers, temperatures not far from average . from average. >> looks like things are heating up boxt boiler year. sponsors of weather on

it's 9 pm. this is patrick christys . tonight with me. christys. tonight with me. >> ben leo to pay tribute to jeremy corbyn, who's a friend,

as well as a colleague . as well as a colleague. >> will the real keir starmer please stand up? rishi sunak? today, sound of the alarm on the labour leader. i believe that we will keep this country safe. >> and keir starmer's actions demonstrate that he won't be able to do that. >> so is britain safer with the tories? >> and october 7th happened and, you know, the hamas thing. but the zero, dear gobby gary lineker strikes again. >> i have a major gb news exclusive on the bbc licence fee. next plus . should just stop fee. next plus. should just stop oil and troublemakers like them be banned alongside terror groups. also tonight . should uk groups. also tonight. should uk universities call in the police to break up gaza protest camps? meanwhile . he's invisible. so

meanwhile. he's invisible. so i've got