but he says that opportunities. but he says that can only be achieved with tangible steps wherever we, have said we will raise taxes , we've said we will raise taxes, we've set out what we will raise and what we'll spend the money on. >> so what you did hear this morning is that we're going to get rid of the tax break for private schools and use that for money the teachers we need in our state secondary schools. well, you did hear is that we're going to get rid of the non—dom status properly and use that money towards reducing, reducing waiting lists. the tax burden on people is as high as it's ever been under this government, you know, this has been the tax rising government of all time , rising government of all time, hospital mortuaries in england allowed bodies of deceased patients to decompose because of a shortage of freezers. inspectors have found the human tissue authority told how inadequate storage facilities at some nhs trusts and lack of freezer space means some bodies have been left for too long at

unsuitable temperatures. official hta guidance says. bodies should be moved into frozen storage after 30 days in fridges or before, depending on the condition of the body . the the condition of the body. the hospitals criticised in the reports following inspections in 2022 and last year, said systems have since been improved and a new film about donald trump's rise to power in the 1980s has been picked up at the cannes film festival. titled the apprentice. it stars sebastian stan as the young trump as he forges a deal with the influential right wing lawyer and fixer roy cohn, played by succession star jeremy strong. the film is due for release by studiocanal later this year. for the latest stories, sign up to gb news alerts by scanning the qr code on your screen or go to gb news. com slash alerts. now it's gb news. com slash alerts. now wsfime gb news. com slash alerts. now it's time for headliners .

it's time for headliners. >> hello and welcome to headliners. i'm stephen allen. it's the show where comedians review the next day's news for you. tonight we have a man who is in mrs. doubtfire, scott capurro. and a man who is such a sceptic he probably actually doubts fire. its nick dixon. >> yeah, it's not real. >> yeah, it's not real. >> yeah, it's always said that it's all. and i think that was an intro that was complimentary to both. very rare on this show. yeah. to answer that. yeah. it's all right because you're nice guys. all right because you're nice guys . yeah. and life going all guys. yeah. and life going all right is it. you're right. >> i guess bringing you dinner works it does. >> and the payment. yeah. obviously money. >> that too makes it sound like you're sort of at home, like a meals on wheels service that starts delivering it. not going to be long at the way bringing you dinner. >> life is going to take you some chicken. take that as well. all right. let's start with a quick look at the front pages. for friday. we go to the daily mail. first of all, don't betray our royal mail. is their headline. the telegraph says labour tax rises as sure as night follows day, says hunt, a guardian . ministers were warned

guardian. ministers were warned in 2021 about carer scandal . the in 2021 about carer scandal. the i says uk's toxic water illegal sewage, parasites in taps and higher bills on the way express be warned taxes will go up under laboun be warned taxes will go up under labour, says hunt. and finally, the daily star. bless you labour, says hunt. and finally, the daily star . bless you fido, the daily star. bless you fido, and those were your front pages . and those were your front pages. let's make some sense of that ramble. then we kick off with the express . scott, what are the express. scott, what are they going with.7 >> well, first on the front page is a photo of the queen snatching flowers away from children who look terrified as she's making jokes about charles dying. it's quite hard to read, but anyway, there's another story about taxes will go up under labour, says hunt. the general election will be set out the key battleground for the general election will be set out today, when jeremy hunt warns of tax rises from labour, he's saying it's going to get much worse if you elect them, that they're all about taxing you, that we've been really gentle

and mild, but it's going to get real brutal if you let them in office. >> so the administration that's given us the highest tax burden since the second world war, saying that things are going to get bad now. >> yes, yes, it's going to get much worse. and interest rates, he says, worry about those two. they're quite high already. i can't see them getting any higher. but anyway, that's what he says, nick, your take on this, do you think he's actually the question should be this is this negative politics of heanng this negative politics of hearing just what the other side will do wrong rather than what we will do right.7 >> it's exactly that. and it's pretty weak, isn't it, at this stage, when the tories are about to be obliterated as you say, highest tax since the 40s by some metrics. and it's like but guess what.7 it's going to be even worse under labour. and they're not wrong. that's the disturbing thing. it will be even worse. everything will be even worse. everything will be even worse. everything will be even worse. but that's such a terrible pitch . when your party terrible pitch. when your party is facing potential extinction, you need something a bit more, right.7 >> he's saying it's going to last for quite a while too, but then he's saying also, if their party is elected, the conservatives that the show, the brutal economic situation will last as well. so really there's

no change under either party, which makes i think a lot of voters think that the parties are very similar. >> yeah, there's a footballer here. it might be declan rice saying stars secret ingredient to batter opposition. that's what actually the tories need a secret ingredient to batter the opposition . you know this is too opposition. you know this is too weak, right.7 >> they certainly don't have that special sauce yet, do they? i mean, people people talk of the omni party. they're effectively the same. there's very little difference between them. so actually a good fight is difficult to get. what are they going to get because rishi is so famously polite? >> i don't know why people don't like him so much. i don't have feelings for him either way, but he seems quite amicable in his own way and he's doing what he can with what he's been handed. it's just a terrible situation. >> the feeling is he's ineffective. and the tories current strategy is talk about getting rid of rishi sunak each week, then the next week go, no, we're not going to bother. not just cycles every single week. >> and they know, you know, that they're sacrificing his position. they're just making a mistake because no one else will do it. and they know that keir is going to win, but i don't i don't have any feelings for starmer either. i don't you're

right either. neither one of them inspires. >> yeah, but starmer is secret sauce is the lack of personality isn't it. it's been basically watch other people do things badly and then just sit there being the outline of a human stuffed shirt , though we're stuffed shirt, though we're talking about it later. >> but his new slogan is stability is change. i mean, that's the most starmer slogan possible. i was thinking about this is exciting. >> yes, i was trying to think of how is that even possible on the way in, as you say. i know we'll talk about it later, but only if the current situation is instability is stability. change yeah, that's his argument. that would change anyway because it's unstable . yeah. unstable. yeah. >> so i electing their party will is changed. yeah. >> don't think about that mission too long. otherwise you will get a nosebleed. yeah, that's the way. right. let's move on to the i. what have they got on the front page, nick. >> so the i has uk's toxic water illegal sewage parasite in taps and higher bills on the way. illegal sewage parasite in taps and higher bills on the way . and and higher bills on the way. and this very much concerns my hometown because millions of litres of raw sewage have been dumped illegally into windermere, where i went to school. how dare they put in the wind the great lake? yes and so this is united utilities, who

are, you know , local businesses are, you know, local businesses in the lakes have all these rules. they often have their own septic tanks because they've got their own, you know, look after their own, you know, look after their own, you know, look after their own sewage. they have all these rules they have to follow. but united utilities don't bother. they're just dumping 10,000,000l of sewage into wind action. it says lake windermere. but that's a tautology because mere means lake. so there's all sorts of problems here, so yeah, united utilities just do what they want. they make massive profits. so why are they they should afford to, you know, deal with their sewage properly. and it's not just them. there's wessex water who are dumping 29,973 hours of sewage into the river avon. this disturbs me that ours is so much sewage. we can only measure it in hours. you know what i mean? smell might be another measure. >> that's been hit really hard. and what bothers me is that you see that they charge up here in the corner. the left. it's £0.90 for this newspaper. that seems like a waste of money. i got sewage. >> get it free on this show. so yeah, i think to make it more relatable, the idea of having sewage measured in hours, an hour of toilet trip for women is about 16 trips. and for a man, it's about two and a half. all

right. so that makes it more relatable, i think. >> yeah, easy to understand. >> yeah, easy to understand. >> but what's going down the south west as well? i actually think it makes the south—west slightly more attractive. yeah. because if you want to go on houday because if you want to go on holiday there, you won't be able to drink the water like you're on proper holiday. >> i in greece or something. yeah. >> they're not telling people to boil water, but that doesn't work. boiling water doesn't get the stuff out that you want it to get out. yeah >> that's why they've got e—coli and bacteria. >> yeah. they're just like they're telling us that because it might make us feel like we're doing something. well, it will. >> it'll kill the parasites, but it will leave them dead in there. so you will be drinking dead parasites. >> yeah. yeah. >> yeah. yeah. >> that's better than live parasites. >> i don't know, i think maybe alive they might be more fun. >> you got to take the winds where you can get them. next we have the times. scott. what have they got? bed blocker crisis means extra nhs cash is being wasted. >> apparently, patients are stranded and not stranded in the way that we used to leave my mom at a mall and drive away. hope she'd never find us again. she always got her way back. it was so strange with all her asthma, she could still walk. it makes

you think as well. yeah, i think people lie. but anyway, stranded patients because they're being left, apparently there's a rise in delayed discharges from hospitals , that's been hospitals, that's been identified as a key driver of lower, lower efficiency. the length of stay is one of the biggest single issues that are burdening the nhs right now . burdening the nhs right now. it's just kind of crumbling. it's just kind of crumbling. it's falling apart a little bit. and i think the patients i mean, it says here also that patients longer stays because they're older, but they're getting better. and so we don't know what to do with them. once they're released, they come back because they have nowhere else to go. yeah. >> i mean, this is a problem that the nhs a problem for the nhs that the nhs can't solve. >> yeah, there seem to be so many problems with the nhs. i know it's almost ridiculously obvious statement , but we've got obvious statement, but we've got the story about bodies which we just saw on the news and that's coming up later. they're not deaung coming up later. they're not dealing with dead bodies properly. they've got this problem. they're saying half of it's beyond their control, as you say. i'd like to know about the other half, but yeah, half of it's like industrial action and so on. but but have you noticed, though, that the papers are criticising the nhs more

than they used to? i can't tell if that's because they've become so bad or it's become so bad, or if just there's a popular mood now that's tilted against the nhs. covid was the peak of nhs love, and then what we like to see in england is build something up and then knock it down. now we've been peak nhs hates because of the waiting list, of course. so i just wonder if there's a mood. i just, i just suddenly noticed we often have these anti nhs stories, so i wonder if the mood is just finally or maybe some of the reporters have had some bad experiences with the nhs recently. >> wasn't there some stuff like 1 in 7 people are on a waiting list? all right. so i suppose there are enough journalists that right now some of them are on waiting lists. >> well, i'm on a waiting list for an at home exercise machine. is that the same? >> no. all right. are you. i'm actually on a waiting list. are you? yeah. so. no, i went to the dentist and my jaw clicks and she said, i'll refer you. and i got the letter and the appointment is like, december , appointment is like, december, because there's no hope of being seen by anyone. what i will and i shouldn't say this, but she said when they do get in touch, say it's painful. yeah, even if it's not. and i had to say what kind of pain, because they're

probably going to follow up on that question. they're really specific about it. yeah. do you want to tell me what the pain is now, the symptoms now. so when they got a therapist because i'm because i'm crazy when i got one, they only got them for six visits for free. >> and then i had to i basically lied on, on all the forms they sent me. and the woman who led me through filling them out onune me through filling them out online basically told me, she said, how sad are you? i said, pretty sad. she said, really pretty sad. she said, really pretty sad. she said, really pretty sad. i said, i'm really i'm i'm hyperventilate eating. she said, write that down. >> so yeah, it was like that. to be fair though, you get six visits to fix your problems. scott would cost more than we have. >> seriously. and i'm paying for it right now. it's just simply not enough. >> yeah, there's a system that is not working , and we finished is not working, and we finished this section with the daily star. nick, what tree have they got for us? >> they've got bless you, fido, which is a kind of a pun, steve, because the dogs are sneezing, you see, because they've got hay fever. so you thought that like zoomers and people now were kind of weak and, you know, having all these all sorts of problems, but now it's moved on to pet your pet now has hay fever. well, not that hay fever suffers a week, of course, but just pets

having it seems like it kind of it's like dog therapy or something. it just seems like a sad new level. >> but they mock you. i think they want to behave the way you do pets. so they want to have the same thing you have. you know, i don't have a little one thing. >> i don't have hay fever. >> i don't have hay fever. >> i don't have hay fever. >> i want to look weak and moan about things. >> it's been terrible. this year's been the worst year i've ever had it. really? really? yeah, really. the last two years were okay, but this year it's been really. i've had. yeah, really bad for the last two months. >> but how can you tell if a dog has hay fever because they've already got wet noses? shouldn't mean surely that's one of the symptoms. >> well, if you kick it in coughs that it probably does. >> they complain a lot and go, oh, the pollen is high today. that's how you know. yeah that's how they say it. >> if you leave it outdoors in the parks all night, then it's probably got hay fever. >> the. so you're going to get your appointment cancelled and your appointment cancelled and your dog taken away from you. it's been a great show so far. that's the surface level of the newspapers done. in the next

next. welcome back to headliners i'm stephen allen, still here with scott capurro and nick dixon. and we're hosting a night with the headliners live. you can join us for an evening of comedy with andrew doyle, leo kearse , with andrew doyle, leo kearse, simon evans and josh howie will be there. for more information, you can scan the qr code here or visit gb news. com back to the papers scott. the guardian keir starmers message is the tories caused this mess, but we're different, which will upset rishi because that's also his message. >> well, there's just an article in the guardian about how my feelings are hurt that i wasn't asked to attend that comedy show that you just mentioned. there's that you just mentioned. there's that article. nick, do you have an article about that in the guardian? >> well, i was asked, but turned it down. >> yeah, i wasn't too i would have too if i'd been asked. yeah. >> anyway , i wasn't asked, but >> anyway, i wasn't asked, but i would have, i would have said yes. >> well i can't be there. but half those comics to my act anyway, so you'll see it, in the guardian keir starmer no quick fix to tory mess. i think we've talked about this a little bit already, keir starmer saying that there's no quick fix. there are deep problems labour will inherit if it wins the next

election and already cares. obviously apologising for what will be a potentially mediocre job. he says that it will take two, term's aims to correct some of the problems. so here's already writing a sequel to his. yeah, to his first term. still in labour as my. i think that's the title of the still in labour or or, labour pains two or does my pm look big in these jeans? anyway, these are the titles of his extended plays . or anyway, these are the titles of his extended plays. or he's saying, look, i need more time than you think to fix the problems because i'm so ineffectual. no one's going to listen to me for two years. so give me time. take a deep breath, relax, lay back, take a nap. you can't afford to eat anyway. it's going to be really bad because it sucks right now and i'm awful. bad because it sucks right now and i'm awful . so, you know, and i'm awful. so, you know, brace yourselves. it's not just going to get worse, it's going to get banal, and then there's going to be more of that. so give me ten years at least give me ten years to fix your problem. >> it's uninspiring to get the apologies in this early already on the days he's announcing missions and apologising in a place called purfleet untamed. well, don't have a go.

>> a lovely no, it's a lovely sounding town in essex. >> i mean, it's not lovely. >> i mean, it's not lovely. >> oh, it sounds cute and he gave his six pledges that materialise with, not very much pomp. they are, cutting nhs waiting times. good luck with that. stabilising the economy. not going to happen . setting up not going to happen. setting up the great british energy. i guess they're going to , guess they're going to, nationalise the energy thing or have a company that's state owned that can that's going to suck. and cracking down on antisocial behaviour. i'd love to see it. how about my building where the guy lets his dogs, you know, poop and piss upstairs? no one does a thing. we're not even, you know, watched by anybody. no one comes by. no one looks at us, no one helps the police ignore us. >> and keir starmer didn't mention that. he didn't mention that in his speech. >> that's what i'm saying. and he's recruiting 6500 new teachers, none of whom could touch a student, all of whom will be stabbed . but give him will be stabbed. but give him ten years. >> and the one that's not even listed there because he only thought of it later is border security command, because he's like, oh no, we have to do something about that. the most pressing problem in the country, you know, well, immigration generally is the most pressing. and he didn't even have anything

on that. but now he's got one of his six. as i said, stability has changed the least inspiring, most orwellian slogan of all time. and then also there is significance, though maybe in the fact that this guy sebastian, james bullingdon , you sebastian, james bullingdon, you know, mate of boris and cameron and bucha , oh yeah. yeah, maybe and bucha, oh yeah. yeah, maybe that he's now moved to starmer. maybe it's a bit like the sun moving to labour. you know, it's a bit like the sort of vague old boy elite's going, okay, i'm now team starmer, which just shows you once again how much of a unit party it is again. >> yes. they all went to school together. they all know each other and none i mean, oh, it's a big club. and you already apologising. >> i think there's the comparison about how just before 97 was happening going to happen. fraser's like cool britannia . this idea of aiming britannia. this idea of aiming high, like things are going to be great. no, what we've got is it's going to take ten years to fail to do anything. >> stability has changed. make a song out of that. >> oasis, still in labour is still hurts. >> do, nick to the telegraph dead bodies in the nhs were left to rot. and you think i'll work fridge smells. yeah. >> sorry to anyone watching at 5

am. or at night or any time. but we are covering this. it's bodies left to decompose. nhs hospitals across england. this comes from the human tissue authority, who i've never thought about until today. >> i want to get a job with them. >> yeah, well, apparently, scott, you have to freeze a body for . well, it should be moved for. well, it should be moved before 30 days, but this has not been happening. one of them was left for 70 days at leeds general infirmary, and there are signs of decomposition. after about the 65th day, it starts to resemble the current tory government. and that's how you can tell it's been left there too long. but that infirmary. >> i saw a photo of it. it's near the parking structure. i think some old person got good parking space and then. oh, well, you know, they kind of fell asleep, stay asleep. they didn't want to move the car. that's the problem. they need better parking at nhs hospitals . better parking at nhs hospitals. that will solve the whole, you know, dead body. >> it's another blow for the nhs and for people's view of the nhs. you know, when it was like the, the unions back in the 70s. not that i'm that old, but it was like failing to bury the dead was was a big thing that turned the public off. yeah, i wonder if this dead bodies thing might turn the public even more off the nhs. >> so when you dig down the

details, it's only like ten cases in the last two and a bit years, which still is ten too many. >> but they're not. they're dead. so they're not voting. >> exactly. labour doesn't care. and the although i think demographically the tories are going after the dead vote if they can make that happen. but it's like it's a bad story. it's anicky it's like it's a bad story. it's an icky story. it should be more like any other nhs story is worse. >> they're all icky. it should be more like brazil, where they get them in the ground within 24 hours. and then the that's how long the morning takes. i mean, really because of the heat they have to get them to the ground. and when they do and then you go to the funeral and then it's kind of over and you move on with your lives. >> yeah, we're banking on it not being hot here. that's the key. yeah. they've overdone it here. yeah, they're in leeds going. it's never going to be hot. >> but there's a whiff hot in leeds anyway. yeah. so maybe no one noticed. >> for that reason you get amazon prime to do it. we could get these people buried quickly. you just have to have the privatise it better delivery service. >> i never thought i'd hear you say this. get amazon to run the nhs you've turned into. you're worse than leo kearse . what have worse than leo kearse. what have you turned into always. >> yeah scott the daily mail claims the lucy letby inquiry should be live streamed to stop

conspiracy theories, because putting things on the internet always makes conspiracy types not pay attention. >> it totally helps the former neonatal nurse was sentenced to 14 whole life orders after being convicted of murdering seven babies and attempting to murder six others at the chester hosphal six others at the chester hospital. now, the public inquiry was set up soon afterwards and they want to put it on live stream so that people could watch and have all their questions answered and you can see the facts. although facts mean different things to different people and they easily can be renegotiated. if whatever your story is . so how this is your story is. so how this is going to help? i don't know. there's obviously no real history of trials being broadcast, although in the us there is. we started with oj, you may remember that was kind of the first national case and that led to a disturbing verdict. and, and didn't stop the conspiracy theories long before we had really the obsession with online people were conspiracy conspiracy theories , all sorts of things theories, all sorts of things about oj and still do. so i'm not quite sure it'll help. >> really? yeah. do you think this would especially the idea of a live stream inquiry stopping conspiracy theories? because obviously there's loads

of things to discuss about this case. but that part of the story, i think it's more about people's morbid sense of what went on. >> i think people want to watch. they've written letters saying, i want to see her. yeah, and i want to see what actually happened. >> yeah. i mean, i didn't know there was a conspiracy theory about this. i don't know what it would be even. i mean, she's innocent. okay. that one. okay. shut up. yeah. i mean, to me, there is a danger. i like the spirit of conspiracy theorists, of course, because they're sceptics, as you sort of alluded to at the beginning, like me. but you can go too far and sort of lose your humanity. but you can go too far and sort of lose your humanity . and this of lose your humanity. and this might be one of those cases, but but richard baker casey is saying that broadcasting public inquiries has become the norm. so if it is the norm , then then so if it is the norm, then then why not for this case? yeah. >> well, you know, it has to become the norm. >> that's what he claims. i didn't realise that. >> it's not about, live streaming a trial. it's the inquiry. it's right. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the nhs. >> but justice, lady justice thirlwall. thirlwall, she says. posh said she'll give her decision on whether the hearings are broadcast at a later date. so we don't. we won't know until she decides to tell us. all right. >> stay tuned for that then. yeah, nick, the times a story about the dutch trump, which is either a politician or the thing you do with bedcovers and your

wife. >> very clever. yeah, it's dutch populist government to abolish asylum permits. so this is a big deal asylum permits. so this is a big deal, actually, because as you may know, kurt wilders won the election, but he wasn't allowed to lead. but he agreed that he would have these four parties together in a coalition. he wouldn't be the leader, but he wouldn't be the leader, but he would still be influential. and that's what we have here. and so they've come out with the most strict asylum policy they've ever had, as he's called it, and it's basically anti—immigration. pro—farmer because one of the four parties is a farming based party. that's their main concern. so they're giving they're sort of toning down the ridiculous emissions requirements for farmers, and they're going to be tough on asylum seekers. they're going to, abolish asylum permits. there'll be no priority given for when allocating social housing, things like this. so there's a few things. oh, and also, quite interestingly, lessons on the holocaust will be mandatory because because wilders is very concerned about anti—semitism rising in the world. and he has been known to be a little bit, let's say, anti, anti some of the people that might be the most anti—semitic. i don't know . that might be the most anti—semitic. i don't know. how do we how do we say that? i've tried to say that in a non—controversial way. and it came out even worse. anyway,

he's very concerned about anti—semitism and he's quite pro—ukraine and so on. one thing they're doing as well is bringing back 80 miles an hour as a speed limit instead of 62. holland's gone mental with liberal things like , oh, 62mph liberal things like, oh, 62mph on the speed kind of liberal authoritarianism, post—liberal authoritarianism. so he's getting rid of all that. and it's good because people are crying out to have their issues deau crying out to have their issues dealt with by politicians, immigration being one of the main ones. and this has been stifled. and the eu here are very worried about it. frans timmermans going, oh, wilders will be in power and that's very worrying. it's like, well then you shouldn't have been so arrogant and complacent because this is inevitably what you're going to get if you didn't tackle people's concerns, he said. >> the climate's this guy who just mentioned frans timmermans, he's the former eu commissioner dubbed the climate pope, has said that, the climate is going to be ignored and that, you know, the netherlands are going to turn into a right wing. you know, theocracy or whatever he said about it. but i just think that this person is answering, i mean, the guy you know, a lot of these people don't want to work with him. obviously he won the popular vote, didn't win it, but

he got the majority of popular vote and his co—workers don't want to work with him. they think he's a bit of a pain. but again, it's another election where the public is ignored about what they want. i don't agree with. i mean, i would not have voted for him, but he did win the majority . so you kind of win the majority. so you kind of have to listen to him now. >> yeah, that's what democracy is. i love the idea that 62 miles an hour you think is like that. that was too much. i'll think about that as i drive back through the 20 mile an hour zone way back. >> also absurd. >> also absurd. >> but yeah, the only reason i'm late sometimes is because you get behind someone who's doing 20. you know, 20 zone and you just don't plan for that, do you , scott, the guardian, putin has been sucking up to the leader of china. it's a bit of he said. she said nice. >> wow. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. they're being best. they're best friends. putin said best friends. putin said best friends. and there's a border town called harbin, a city in northeast china once known as little moscow because it has russian population and russian orthodox style architecture . so orthodox style architecture. so they're hanging out there, you know, good times, good old days.

and i think putin's trying to build , support for ukraine. from build, support for ukraine. from china. i mean, whether china offers arms or not, just the financial support china gives. russia is enough. and then the chinese naval forces have been supporting russian naval forces in different, supporting russian naval forces in different , exercises supporting russian naval forces in different, exercises and stuff. it just reflects china's support for whatever moscow does militarily. and i mean , he's militarily. and i mean, he's never the leader of china, has never the leader of china, has never come out and said either way, what he thinks about ukraine. but i think this has proven whose side he's kind of on. he's he's playing both sides a little bit because he's, he's kind of bouncing around europe. and they were asking him a lot of questions about what his future political motivations are. and he doesn't really answer anything directly, mostly because he doesn't have to because he doesn't have to because their gdp is 6.9% and britain's is 4.4. gdp so i think if you live in china, you've as a citizen of china, you've decided you're going to give up some of your judicial rights and

your ability to fight, maybe your ability to fight, maybe your case in court because you have a second home in the south of france. >> yeah, it's the old china , >> yeah, it's the old china, russia, iran, north korea, the korean nations. they're ganging up . up. >> it's not great, is it? in this new multi—polar world, it's quite disturbing. and this guy gubarev. i know how to say it. anyway, he's a carnegie russia eurasia centre director, and he says never since the fall of the soviet union has russia been so distant from europe. and never it's an entire history has it been so entwined with china. and thatis been so entwined with china. and that is a very worrying scenario. it's only the case as long as china feels like it. of course. i mean, they're stringing them along for now. but you never loved to hear that. oh yeah. we're best mates. russia and china. >> well, and biden just dumped a bunch of sanctions on china. they're going to cost china a bit of money, and they're feeling the pain. china is they're even feeling the pain trying to export stuff to russia because of, whatever. it stuff they use that america provides. america is not providing it. so it's bad economically for everyone, actually. and i just wish that these guys who were elected to diplomats would learn to get along a little bit better

. i mean, i think putin needs to be put in a cage . . i mean, i think putin needs to be put in a cage. i . i mean, i think putin needs to be put in a cage . i think he be put in a cage. i think he needs to be taught his lesson. but i don't think that the international community is willing to do it. and criticising china for having friendship with putin is, i think, hypocritical , because think, hypocritical, because really the eu has done almost nothing to support ukraine in this battle. yeah, i mean really go. >> and david cameron's previous job, he was best friends with china, i don't know, i don't know where he is these days , know where he is these days, that's this section sorted in the next one. school leavers can't go to university, but they can't go to university, but they can become train drivers. let's hope they are good at

next. welcome back to headliners nick. the daily mail. depression as a reason for euthanasia . surely reason for euthanasia. surely depression is just the correct reaction to how life is now . reaction to how life is now. >> yeah, there is an argument, and this is shocking and sad. we've discussed it before. it's dutchwoman 29, granted permission for euthanasia on mental health grounds despite

being physically healthy, dismisses criticism of her decision as insulting and says she'll die in the next few weeks . this is zarya taebaek. hopefully that's the pronunciation. and, what's tragic is about this. i mean, look, i'm very sympathetic. she's she's she's got mental health problems. she's self—harmed . in the past, she's self—harmed. in the past, she's been suicidal and she's really attractive . actually, there's attractive. actually, there's that as well. but she's gonna. but she wants to die . and the but she wants to die. and the disturbing thing to me is, even though, of course, one can sympathise with individual cases, do you want a society that runs like this? because, look , the premise here is the look, the premise here is the dutch rule has been there since 2002. for those experiencing unbearable suffering , with no unbearable suffering, with no prospect of improvement, which is a bit subject. i mean, for one, that's like working with lewis, schaffer meets that description, but it's subjective when applied to mental health is my point. >> it isn't . in her case, she >> it isn't. in her case, she said doctors tell her that she's been seeing for quite a while that her health is not going to get any better. it's only going to get worse or it's going to stay the same or get worse. these are professionals, right? >> but i was just some psychiatrist saying that some psychiatrists, her psychiatrist

said it. >> yeah, but well they're they're a doctor. >> yeah, but do they really can they really say that. my concern, scott, is not you've got the individual cases, but do you want to live in a society like this? canada i've said it before, killed 13,500 people in 2022 from euthanasia. a woman who had fibromyalgia. but privately admitted she was just poor and she wanted to die because she was poor. and so they killed her because she was poon they killed her because she was poor. essentially a man who had who was bullied because he was autistic. he got euthanasia. do you want a society like this? i personally don't i don't want to copy holland in most things . and copy holland in most things. and a lot of our gender madness came from certain dutch laws . i don't from certain dutch laws. i don't want to copy this, and i'm worried about it coming to england because starmer is obsessed with it and i feel terrible for this woman. but i don't think we should have this as well. >> you know, there are several countries that have had it for quite a while. california has assisted suicide. oregon's had it since 1997. for people who are terminally ill, i've spent time with people who are terminally ill, and i've seen what they've gone through. i've had several friends that were youngin had several friends that were young in the 1980s that died of hiv aids in horrible pain, and they wish to end their own lives and they weren't allowed, which is one of the reasons why

california instigated and instituted this law. switzerland has a new zealand, australia. all these countries seem to fare well under it. i think when it's someone's choice, i, and perhaps you haven't been in a situation or found yourself around people you're very close to who are in that situation. but i have great empathy for them. >> but the risk with this story is that it might stop us bringing in a law that would help people who are terminally ill. she's not terminally ill suffering. she is. yes, she is suffering. she is. yes, she is suffering . and i agree, if you suffering. and i agree, if you have a law about terminally ill, then that could stop people having to spend years at the end of their life. >> when i see pretty people that want to end their lives, i take it personally. i'm like, you've got your looks, what are you worried about? but that's just because i'm a double gemini rising a bit superficial, although i am the life of the party, the point i'm making is she is in an enormous amounts of pain that that no medication will help her with. so how that pain is, is it is different from actual physical pain, but it is just as intense. >> but i wasn't arguing about the pain. i was arguing about the pain. i was arguing about the terminally ill. she's not going to die of this. >> well, she's tried to kill herself many, many times and

been unsuccessful. >> pretty sure you can't . i'd >> pretty sure you can't. i'd still worry that this particular case would stop a law being brought in. that would those people who have, you know, locked in and want to die, but we just can't. >> well, that's not been the case in several other places, including, like i said, california, oregon. they have put those laws in place and they seem to work effectively well for them. >> well, in canada it's been disaster. >> so it's and it's been in the netherlands where she lives, they've had an increase of 20. 29 couples enter their lives in 2023. that's a strange thing. i'd love to look at those stories too. but you know, these people, they want to choose how their lives proceed either way. >> yeah, a lot of it's about choosing the method of death and having sort of a nice death. doctor ashley frawley put this very well. she said that our leaders have given up on giving you a good life. all they can promise now is a good death. >> i see that too. she's chosen to die on her sofa at home and she hates it when people say, enjoy, enjoy the journey. she said, i'm not going anywhere. i'm dying on my sofa where i want to die. scott to the guardian. >> next. an english universities could close . now where will could close. now where will students protest what's

happening thousands of miles away ? away? >> well, there's been an analysis by office for students says increasing numbers will need to make significant changes to their funding model. one thing that's been, offered as an opfion thing that's been, offered as an option , which i've heard before, option, which i've heard before, is that universities kind of combine and that they need to merge. we've got too many, especially online universities . especially online universities. but physical universities need to sort of maybe give up one of their campuses and maybe become their campuses and maybe become the same . i mean, there's the same. i mean, there's diminishing numbers applying for universities , graduate students universities, graduate students are being turned away by silly immigration laws in this country . there are other reasons why foreign students are not applying and the freeze on student fees until 20 2526 is really made. universities struggle to pay their their bills. so yeah, nick, your take on this. >> yeah. well, it's a, it's a visa scam , isn't it? we've visa scam, isn't it? we've covered it a lot. what we have now is universities doing this visa scam. they've got nonsense leftist courses. anyway they should be allowed to fail. i mean, i feel bad for the people

losing their jobs individually, but, you know, a lot of it. we don't need them. there's a they're not useful. they don't work. if you have to prop yourself up with foreign students in a kind of weird ponzi scheme, then you shouldn't really exist , should you? really exist, should you? >> i'm all for, no tuition fees for proper sciences. stem subjects should be free to go to university film studies. i don't care how much they charge . care how much they charge. >> that's because you're a science student. so though it also is because it's useful, but they don't get to i mean, it used to be useful to have engush used to be useful to have english or history and things like that. when there were proper courses and, you know, real books. yeah. real books. the canon , when it wasn't all the canon, when it wasn't all about deconstructing everything and post—modernism and all that, that was jordan peterson. but we basically got drunk on immigration as a country. and this is another example of that, nick, to the times, remember a few weeks ago we had that story about staggered driving licenses. they were suggested because young people aren't safe behind the wheel. bear that in mind when we find out this. yes school leavers can be train drivers under plans to ease staffing crisis. >> so yeah, i mean it's one way to ease a crisis. i was a bit

worried about this. i do find out that 18 though he can't. it's not like 14 year olds, you know what i mean? like just piping up know what i mean? like just piping up on the tannoy. hey, i'm in charge of your train today. cartoons are good. so that's 14. maybe a bit old for that's14. maybe a bit old for cartoon. yeah, it'll be a bit worried about that. >> how tall am i? i'm this tall. >> how tall am i? i'm this tall. >> i can't even reach the pedal. anyway, it's 18 year old and it's going to build resilience in the industry, though perhaps not in your sort of sense of safety on the train. but yeah, they already are allowed to drive tube trains. i found out in this article, so fair enough too. honestly the most depressing thing in reading this was i suddenly thought maybe it's not depressing. i suddenly thought, i want to be a train driver because the pay 70 grand, 70 grand on lner, i mean, the median salary is 63,807. i'm not going to say what i get paid here, but i might. i'm just saying i might sign up to be bad . how hard can it be sitting there driving along the nice, there driving along the nice, the beautiful , beautiful country the beautiful, beautiful country of england? >> both as well. if the train that you're driving stops at paddington, you can nip and do the show afterwards. yeah, yeah. >> good point. or maybe tell jokes while you're driving. >> don't tell the people where we are, steve. that's a terrible. >> but yeah, i mean, why not,

right? i think more and more people are going to suddenly become train drivers. actually, if you look at it in this, in this, you know, dodgy economy, cost of living crisis and you're going like 70 grand to go press the presumably you just press the presumably you just press the thing, don't you? it's like driving which is preston and come back. >> do they still wear the cute little, yoo—hoo hat thing? >> is that the only reason you do it? i like it, yeah, you could have a little hat. do you get to go boop, boop? >> yeah. occasionally you run in and kill someone, don't you? and that's the downside. or they j'uiiip that's the downside. or they jump in front of your train. >> that's what i mean. >> that's what i mean. >> you don't kill them deliberately, but, i mean, you know, people die all the time. >> you'd be perfect at that. thenit >> you'd be perfect at that. then it turns out you've got the because there's psychometric testing to make sure you've got the, the inner resilience to deal with that situation. >> maybe we can we can couple that suicide thing with this. >> i would like the alone time just there in that cabin, the little cabin thing on your own at the front? no, louis, you know what i mean? yeah. >> no, i know what you mean. >> no, i know what you mean. >> the metro and, we love this. we love him. the metro grinder now offers free sti testing, which is bad news for your postman, scott. >> how popular is grindr in the uk? i'll tell you, grindr reaches almost a million adults

in the uk. the most popular dating platform is tinder, as you know, which is how you met your your daughter with, 2.49 your your daughter with, 2.49 your child bride. 2.49 million visitors to tinder , which means visitors to tinder, which means a lot of people are humping and we get a lot of humping. you get a lot of sea eyes. and so grindr is going to offer, sti testing because the rate in england is high, but it's highest in the caphal high, but it's highest in the capital, 1397 diagnoses per 100,000 of stis in the last yean 100,000 of stis in the last year, as opposed to half that in the rest of england. so we're number one. yeah. keep kissing. and, the new service is going to be launched on may 15th. allows london based users to order free sampling kits to test yourself for stis gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people, or just gay men who want to test themselves now can and for free. but i thought we already could be tested for free. >> yeah, maybe you're just a special research case. >> yeah, maybe they're keeping an eye on me. yeah, i'm a petri dish. >> is it? i mean, you've got a

problem with this or not? i was just shocked that men are having sex with men. >> did you know that? >> did you know that? >> oh, god. >> oh, god. >> appalling. just. that's like, you know what the good thing is, though, we do it quickly. that's good. >> get in and out. survey done. >> get in and out. survey done. >> yeah, we feel really bad about it afterwards. to >> well, that's this bit done. but in the next section , we'll but in the next section, we'll solve the mystery of the pyramids. and britain's kindest plumber wasn't kindest. it was more of an estimate.

welcome back to headliners. nick. to the daily mail. there's an app that tells americans if a brit is being sarcastic. and if a brit is talking to an american, we're being sarcastic . american, we're being sarcastic. yeah, not you though, scott. we think you're one of the clever ones. >> ones. >> yeah, you'll be totally fine with this. not. i don't know what. i'm so confused . what that what. i'm so confused. what that was. americans can finally understand british humour. yeah. so scientists develop a device that can detect when someone is being sarcastic. this was a team at the university of groningen, which i believe is in holland. so they could probably work on a device for their blunt rudeness. maybe. how about that , so. and maybe. how about that, so. and it's based on pitch speaking rate and other boring stuff, and they figured out how they can tell about sarcasm. and apparently oscar wilde said it was lowest form of wit, but he also said it was the highest form of intelligence. you never hear that second bit, do you? the anti sarcasm agenda. you only hear that first bit a new zealand waitress i worked with when i was still waiting tables and i hated myself. >> she said to me, i can't do the accent because i have a future. but she said, the i was very i've always been very sarcastic. she said it's the

lowest form of wit. i said, i think you'll find oscar wilde actually said . and then i quoted actually said. and then i quoted this part, and she stared at me like she hated me. i'm like winning, i think sarcasm is hilarious. my husband doesn't get it at all. he's brazilian . get it at all. he's brazilian. he thinks i'm being me whenever i'm that way, and i'm like, i am being mean. that's what it is. yeah, it's. >> he doesn't understand what it is. >> then he said, what do you mean it? i'm like, yes, i mean it. that's why it's mean. it's meant. >> so he's just like a happy, straightforward sort of brazilian person. not not used to your devious ways. yeah, exactly. probably used to them by now. >> duplicitous. >> duplicitous. >> are you sure you're getting sarcasm, though? so you mean it and you're being mean. >> i think that's just meanness. that's just your personality, scott. no, that's why that's why americans don't really understand sarcasm. >> because they interpret it as you being mean. they're like, why are you being mean to me? yeah, because i think we use it to cut people in the us. whereas it's sort of used in an affectionate way in this country, almost as a flirtation. >> it comes from a small country with dense population, with a rigid class system. so you can't

say anything directly. this is why i believe it comes from i'm making this up, but i'm pretty confident i'm right. but america is more straightforward, open, bigger country. you say what you mean manifest. >> people are saying if you if you say what you mean, it means that you mean it. but if you're if you're saying something else and you're trying to get me to understand it, you're you're mocking me. yeah >> england works by passive aggression because we've had to over the years, mount each other a lot. >> it can only happen in a nafion >> it can only happen in a nation without guns. i think. you know, there's no way that a sarcastic conversation doesn't end with another. >> as can a women fighting each other in middlesbrough on a saturday night. yeah, they tear each other apart. that only happens because no one has any guns. yeah. >> good point. yeah. please shoot me. you will just get killed. seriously? yeah. >> women know how to behave when you. when you know there's few guns around. >> it's one of my favourite things to watch. scott. the times keeping it topical, why were pyramids built where they are built, because they were built near water originally , and built near water originally, and it looks like they weren't, because all the water shifted with a drought in 4200 bc or something, or 4000 bc. there's a drought, and those pyramids are

built on waterways because that's how they transported the materials to build them. and then all the sand moved. and now it looks like they weren't built on waterways when they they weren't built in the middle of deserts. they were built in their, you know, ponds and streams and things. >> aliens built them, didn't they? >> oh, that's. >> oh, that's. >> but the aliens like the rivers because, you know, it's beautiful back then. yeah, that's what it is. yeah well, i'm glad we got to the bottom of that, nick, the metro, a man was found living in a hole in the ground. now, that's what you call a man cave? >> yes. man cave at 27 years ago is found living in a hole 200m from his home. kind of sounds amusing until you realise it's horrific. so his family assumed he'd die during the civil war, because he was. he was gone for so long, obviously, but he was living. a man had kidnapped him and stuck a load of ore in algeria. yes, yes . stuck him algeria. yes, yes. stuck him under a load of hay in a ditch and just was just keeping him there captive near his home. and there captive near his home. and the dog picked up on this and was sort of pining for him. so the guy killed the dog they believe poisoned the dog. an incredibly sick story, actually. just got you wonder how the guy couldn't get out. he was so near

his home. couldn't he do anything? but who knows? i haven't been stuck luckilly in a hole with covered by hay 200m from my home. >> you do kind of hide in your apartment watching reality shows? yes. not dissimilar. >> it's not dissimilar. that's voluntary. yeah. >> for now. well, you say, hey, involved . involved. >> but there's a personality disorder here, i think. i think there might be some mental illness. maybe. >> which guy? >> which guy? >> like, oh, i'm sorry, we were talking about this earlier. i wasn't talking about you at all. no, i dispel rumours when i hear them. that's fine. i think you're perfectly fine. just keep your distance , scott, the daily your distance, scott, the daily mail, jeremy clarkson has been voted the sexiest man. that story again. someone who makes people millionaires is seen as attractive. >> oh, i guess bigotry is sexy to some women. i swear to god, women will sleep with anything. which is how we all got here, right? clarkson has been officially crowned uk sexiest after people like idris elba, who's so hot. i mean, come on, what do you think cillian murphy? delicious and talented. and clarkson rolls around on a tractor yelling profanities. >> that's what the women of this

country want. >> scott, you don't understand. >> scott, you don't understand. >> very low bar and yet you're single. >> it's incredible. it's a protest vote as well. it's a kind of like brexit. it's like no clarkson. he represents a kind of rebellion against the kind of rebellion against the kind of rebellion against the kind of remainer class. the professional managerial class is like, we want clarkson, we want brexit, we want anti—immigration. >> and you've got all that and you . you. >> good point. why am i not in this? actually, that's the other thing. i must be towards the back. >> this headline of saying that clarkson's the sexiest man is an inqu clarkson's the sexiest man is an insult to all men or thinking people, because he's got a look. >> it's farm. it says here it's his bad boy farm vibe. steve is that what it's about? >> yeah. bad boy farm vibe, i guess. i provide food for random words thrown together. >> bad boy farm vibe , driving >> bad boy farm vibe, driving you in a q car, making gay slurs. >> it's hot. i don't know, women say the strangest things. i don't listen to them half the time because, well , you know why. >> so i guess one thing we have in common. yeah, i guess this is this is a reason why i guess he's winning. >> because. yeah he's got a big tractor. >> it might be he's got a big. it might be just the allure. >> strong success is an aphrodisiac. well, which is

something none of us have experienced. >> obviously, the show is nearly over. >> obviously, the show is nearly over . we've still not achieved over. we've still not achieved any more of that aphrodisiac tonight. let's take a look at your friday front pages again. daily mail. don't betray our royal mail. the telegraph says labour tax rises as sure as night follows day, says hunt, guardian ministers were warned in 2021 about carer scandal. the ai says uk's toxic water, illegal sewage, parasites in taps and higher bills on the way express be warned taxes will go up under labour, says hunt. and finally, the daily star. bless you, fido , those are your front you, fido, those are your front pages. that's all we've got time for. thank you to my guests, scott shapiro and nick dixon. we're back tomorrow at 11 with some other people doing this. if you're watching at 5 am, stay tuned for breakfast, meanwhile , tuned for breakfast, meanwhile, have yourself a good one. that warm feeling inside from boxt boilers sperm . boilers sperm. >> hours of weather on gb news. >> hours of weather on gb news. >> good evening. it's time for your latest gb news. weather update brought to you by the met

office. there will be a few showers around tomorrow , but showers around tomorrow, but also some decent warm sunshine before that. a largely dry night ahead once the heavy rain that is affecting central parts at the moment clears away towards the moment clears away towards the west. the low pressure driving the rain is making its way westwards across the uk and as it clears away it will take the worst of the heavy rain with it. so for many it is going to turn largely dry overnight, although across some parts of nonh although across some parts of north wales, northern england, perhaps into southern scotland, there'll be some thicker cloud here and that cloud could bring some outbreaks of rain elsewhere. there will be some clear skies, but temperatures not dropping a huge amount, most places holding up in double digits . we do need to watch out digits. we do need to watch out for some mist and fog first thing, particularly in the southeast. i am expecting a few patches to develop overnight, but they should largely clear quite quickly as we go through the morning. tomorrow. some brighter skies across other parts of southern england and wales. thicker cloud though for northern england and wales, and this bringing some outbreaks of rain even into parts of southern scotland. sunny skies, though, for northern ireland and the

rest of scotland, albeit towards the far northwest towards the outer hebrides. here some thicker cloud could also be bringing some outbreaks of rain first thing tomorrow morning. otherwise as we go through the day, the thicker cloud across some northern areas should break up a little bit. so some brightness breaking through here and elsewhere. there will be some decent sunny spells, but also a few showers to watch out for. they should be generally fairly hit and miss in nature, so many of us will avoid them. do watch out for some heavier ones across parts of scotland, temperatures likely to be a little bit higher than today for many of us. low 20s quite widely, so feeling pretty warm in any sunshine into the weekend and on saturday. watch out for some hefty, showery rain spreading its way across southern parts. elsewhere, there could be a few showers to watch out for, but they don't look like they'll be as frequent or as intense. perhaps fewer showers on sunday, but still the chance of some, especially towards the south. then monday is looking mostly fine. see you later . later. >> a brighter outlook with boxt solar sponsors of weather on

gb news. >> it's 9 pm. i'm patrick christys tonight. >> i'm not here to get into a fight. i'm not here to debate necessarily. i'm coming with a sincere intention to engage . sincere intention to engage. >> suella braverman confronts the student protesters . what was the student protesters. what was what would be your your your main question to some of the individuals? >> i'm really keen to hear what your message is to israel . your message is to israel. >> find out what happens when suella comes face to face with the pro—palestine rabble. and on the pro—palestine rabble. and on the one hand, you're recalled literally quote a cold eyed monster, but nevertheless a cold eyed monster. >> they're prepared to have a date with again, is that correct ? >> 7- >> you hear ? >> you hear from hollywood superstar kevin spacey ? why is superstar kevin spacey? why is he still cancelled? >> plus, but it's not copycat

because we're now, what, 27 years on from 1997? the challenges we face now are not the same as those faced by tony blair. >> keir starmer insists he's not blair 2.0 as his six pledges get pred blair 2.0 as his six pledges get ripped to shreds. on my panel tonight, it's telegraph columnist allison pearson, lord shaun bailey and ex—labour advisor matthew laza. and what does this german politician do next? yeah, yeah. all right, get ready. britain. here we go. suella braverman takes on the palestine protesters . next. palestine protesters. next. >> patrick. thank you. and as you've just been hearing, cambridge university has announced it will host this week's graduation lie—ins elsewhere as a pro—palestine protest camp remains outside the

venue. it's hosted ceremonies since the 18th century. protesters pitched tents on a lawn outside senate house yesterday, with graduation ceremonies due to take place there tomorrow and on saturday. but the university says it's taken the difficult decision to hold the event at an undisclosed alternative location . gb news alternative location. gb news were there earlier. patrick and the team as former home secretary suella braverman visited the cambridge for palestine's encampment today on king's parade as she attempted to talk to activists about the protests . sir keir starmer has protests. sir keir starmer has told gb news there'll be no tax cuts under a labour government until the economy is back on the path to growth. the labour leader says that while he wants to keep the tax burden as low as possible, he also wants to ensure that living standards improve. he said british people deserve to know that future generations will enjoy better opportunities . his. but he says opportunities. his. but he says that can only be achieved with tangible steps after we, have