card details before input their card details before spending money from their accounts . and sweden has accounts. and sweden has confirmed it's recorded its first case of a contagious new variant of monkeypox, a day after the world health organisation declared it a global health emergency. the strain emerged in the democratic repubuc strain emerged in the democratic republic of congo, with more than 17,000 cases and over 570 deaths in africa this year , deaths in africa this year, according to the who, which exceeds last year's total. scientists from the africa centres for disease control and prevention report 96% of all cases and deaths have been in d.r.congo. the uk health security agency says there are currently no cases of the virus here in the uk, and its deputy director claims that risk is currently considered low and those are the latest gb news headlines. for now i'm tatiana sanchez. now it's time for headunes sanchez. now it's time for headlines for the very latest gb news direct to your smartphone, sign up to news alerts by scanning the qr code , or go to

scanning the qr code, or go to gbnews.com forward slash alerts . gbnews.com forward slash alerts. >> hello and welcome to headliners. it's your first look at friday's newspapers. i'm your host , andrew doyle. tonight i'm host, andrew doyle. tonight i'm joined by the very talented and handsome leo kearse and also stephen allen. are you both okay? >> were you being sarcastic there? >> no, i was begging you up to let him down. >> i think because you're a comedian, that's a joke and i'm not. >> it's a joke. >> it's a joke. >> i'm not actually. whatever it was the night. >> as long as we're all agreeing i'm handsome, then we can carry on with this. >> well, i was trying to imply that you weren't. that was the joke. but maybe we shouldn't analyse the jokes. we should just tell the jokes. what do you think, leo? i agree you're actually offended now, aren't you?i actually offended now, aren't you? i can see why you're. >> i think it's a hate crime as well. i think we should get some laws on this. well, you know what? >> we're going to talk a bit about hate crimes for comedy in about hate crimes for comedy in a while. but let's start by looking at those front pages. we've got the daily telegraph

first on friday. it's leading with gps next in line for pm's cash handouts. the daily mail is running with so much for an economic crisis. the times has got ministers favouring unions over pensioners. the guardian is leading with two tier system record a—level results highlight regional divide and the daily express. surely no need for tax hikes with our growing economy. and finally, we've got the daily star. excellent article man hating ghost dolls terrifying rampage. can't wait to get to that one. those were your front pages. right. we're going to kick off with the front cover of the daily mail and the very beautiful leo kearse . what do beautiful leo kearse. what do you think. >> this is so much for an economic crisis. they've gone further. they're being sarcastic like you were when you said i was handsome. so the uk economy is the fastest growing in the g7. although to put that in context, the economies in the g7 haven't really been growing very fast. they're the sort of biggest nations, the best nafions biggest nations, the best nations or whatever. and is it

europe? is it europe? is it the world? i have no idea. there's been an expansion of i mean, it can't be grown faster than america, but it's doing all right. >> you know, you remember, like before the ons decided to revise its whole statistics and it realised, actually, we're doing all right. since the pandemic. yeah. you know, we're actually. it's not that bad. >> this always happens. >> this always happens. >> they always say the ons and all the other left wing quangos and bureaucracies always say, oh , and bureaucracies always say, oh, the british economy's doing so bad. and it's all because of the tories. me, me, me me me. and then when the actual figures come out, they have to revise it to show that we're actually doing much better. so there's been an expansion of the comedy of one of the economies of 1.3% since the start of the year. so it does. it outpaces the us. we're doing better than america. incredibly. but the chancellor still insists she'll have to raise taxes because they've got a huge communist state to pay for, and also for the 20 billion black hole that she she couldn't nofice black hole that she she couldn't notice before. >> she didn't know about it, did she? >> she had no idea it was there. >> she had no idea it was there. >> but the one thing i will say is we've had huge levels of immigration over the past few years, so that fuels gdp. that

increases gdp. our productivity is declining. increases gdp. our productivity is declining . and i should is declining. and i should imagine i haven't seen the actual figures for gdp per capita, but i should imagine that's declining as well. but the our productivity is declining, which is a real issue because because we've got mass immigration, because people can come in and do jobs for cheaply, there's no incentive for people to invest capital in, you know, technological solutions. >> well, there's a lot of unproductive, non—productive people who who grew up here as well. >> exactly. yeah. because the jobs aren't paying well enough to encourage them to do the jobs. >> steve, do you have any thoughts on this? >> yeah. i mean, the most recent figures, april to june, o.6%. so as much as i love the headline so much for economic crisis 0 o.6%. party time , it's not that, o.6%. party time, it's not that, but it's just because it's better than other ones that are worse. plus, we did take a bit of a slapping during the lockdowns and that means your numerator and denominator change. just to get a bit nerdy on the maths, we can grow faster because we lost so much ground. yes, it's like if you boast about quadrupling two and then compare it to like someone who doubles three, you've got a lot

of we quadrupled. but no, if you've got a higher number then a smaller increase. >> things are never as bad as people say. are they? you know, we haven't had this massive crash that everyone said we would. you know, everyone sort of predicted that after brexit, didn't we? >> we avoided a recession in the last quarter thanks to taylor swift. so how was she involved? that was a weird story where apparently her being around and the concerts meant more people spent money in hotels, which somehow. oh, i thought you meant she was mates with the chancellor. that also probably is. you know, she can do anything . pretty much. of course anything. pretty much. of course she can. >> but i think o.6% over a, you know, a few months is actually quite a lot for, for a developed economy. >> but from a number that was smaller than it should have been and would have been if we hadn't have locked down in that way. so just to boast, like we've really improved since the really small number, you've got to remember that small number. yeah. >> okay. well, we're going to move on to the next paper now. and this is the cover of the guardian. who's got this? steve, it's me talking about two tier things, but not the one you're thinking. >> two tier system record a—level results highlight regional divide. look away now. if you don't know the results , if you don't know the results, it's. people in the south are doing better in education. of course they are. it's the

north—south divide. >> there are loads of ways. why is that? >> just because posh people in the south and their tutors . the south and their tutors. >> this is your northern chip on your shoulder, isn't it? really? it's such a visible chip. it's a huge chip. >> oh, i like chips. but there's another way of breaking down these stats, which i think is appalling. right. they've looked at the gap with boys getting more a star grades. they've widened the gap because boys get more a stars . so instead of just more a stars. so instead of just saying like oh congratulations, they found it a way to look. even though girls do better in all other grades, they do better at gcses, better at degrees , at gcses, better at degrees, better at earning after degrees. but boys are doing better at a stars. well, something must be done. and what they've done is you've got professor smithers who says one reason that boys get more a stars is because they pick subjects where it's easier to get them in. like what? maths. further maths. even more maths. >> they're easy. physics. >> they're easy. physics. >> physics. maths economics. >> physics. maths economics. >> why not just do like drama? and you could do like a performance piece where no one really fails, but no one gets an a star and that's why they put it in instead of just saying like you did.

>> well, but compare this to what happened in lockdown. the girls didn't have the same gap. they were getting just as many a stars because that was teacher assessment. how is this story not teachers are getting it wrong. yeah, they looked at, they dished out the grades and just obviously now are wrong and gave too many grades to the girls and not to the boys. >> i think there's been grade inflation for so long now. i don't trust any of it. when i when i started teaching, i was told that if you can get this kid to get an a and i said, but he's illiterate. and they said, it doesn't matter. an a is the equivalent of a d ten years ago, so don't worry about it. i mean, isn't this a truth? >> people are getting more stupid and people are quite stupid and people are quite stupid to start off with, so it is quite a worry. the stupider, the stupider the spread across across girls and boys. the difference is quite interesting because girls are getting more a's, but boys are getting more a's, but boys are getting more a's stars. >> so what does that mean? >> so what does that mean? >> so what does that mean? >> so it means that basically the intelligence spread by genden the intelligence spread by gender, women tend to more women are in the middle, so women are closer to the median. >> there are more male geniuses, whereas there are more male geniuses and more male idiots.

so this was exactly camille paglia's point when she said there is no female mozart for there is no female mozart for the same reason. there is no female jack the ripper. she was saying that men occupy the extremes in all of this stuff. and it is true insofar as the prisons are full of men. yeah, men are the worst. but there's also a few fantastic geniuses up there. so. but i don't think they would be getting a stars necessarily at gcse. i don't know if that thing of stars bothers me. >> it's like the amplifiers that go all the way up to 11 just make a harder. but this gcse goes all the way to a star. no. >> why don't they. are they going to do a double star? a triple star? yeah you're right mate. a should be the top. >> well, this is why they changed the grading of gcses to be 1 to 9. but one is the lowest and nine is the best. so you can just keep adding numbers. the problem with a is that there were no earlier letters. but now they've done it so that you just keep adding extra letters on. >> but this is so gutting because those of us who got a's at a—level when we were at school now look like we look like thickos. yeah, because we didn't get a's. they got a's. >> just to reassure you. >> just to reassure you. >> nobody cares. that's true. nobody cares what grades you

got. and you don't even need to get good grades. you can just lie, and you can lie about what university you went to and what degree you got. just lie. nobody checks. >> i think that's really bad advice. and can i just say i do not endorse that because someone someday will check. i just send my degree certificates through to some job recently. really? yeah >> you're leaving? no. >> you're leaving? no. >> this was a few years ago. it was like it was. it wasn't even. it was a part time sort of lecturing thing. and i sent off the degree certificates. right. so, you know, that's not true. anyway, let's move on to this. this is now the front of the times. >> so ministers favouring unions over pensioners. this could be something to do with the fact that pensioners don't have a union. so they haven't paid lots of money to the government. >> i suspect there's more to it than that. >> so basically, the train drivers. train drivers pay deal is going to be agreed and it's going to cost the taxpayer £100 million, which is quite a lot of money. it's a 15% pay rise. and labour are refusing to say how much taxpayers will have to contribute towards it . i think contribute towards it. i think all of it. i think that's how it works. yeah, taxpayers pay for

all this stuff. >> spread it out over everyone. that's not much, is it? >> yeah, well, it all adds up. it all adds up. and also, i mean, the train drivers made the point that they've in real terms, they've had a 25% pay cut, blah, blah , blah. but in cut, blah, blah, blah. but in reality, they're doing a job that a robot could do and the robot wouldn't be fat and wouldn't moan and wouldn't ask for pay rises all the time. so i suppose with the trains, it's not like you can go the wrong way. >> exactly. there's no steering wheel. it's all sort of there for you. >> yeah. like, you know, you know, when you've got a toy train set and you've got the little dials and the buttons controlling the train, you don't need to sit inside the toy train making sure it drives. >> now i want now come in, steve, i want you to come in and defend. train drivers and explain why we need to pay them a lot more. >> i think they've done interesting maths here by the ministers have argued that if they wouldn't have found this resolution, then they would have been strikes, and strikes would have cost more than this 100,000,000in the long run. they've pulled an opportunity cost on this one, which doesn't really make any sense, but it's a nice bit of work. >> it's like giving in to the rioters or something because it would cost more. >> yeah, you see, you really

should work for the labour government. you could do this really well, but the idea of the pensioners. look, i know the pensioners. look, i know the pensioners are going to be upset about it, but this is just the truth. this is the situation. pensioners tend to vote tories, which is why the tories absolutely love you and give you triple lock. plus you've reaped all the benefits of being the darling of the tories and now it's swung the other way. you should have voted labour more often and they'd care about it. >> get over it, pensioners. okay, well, i'd like to say we've upset pensioners. we've upset train drivers. who else will we upset later on? but let's first have a look at this front cover of the daily star for friday. what are they going with? >> manhattan ghost dolls terrifying rampage owner attacked by paranormal maniac. >> i think there's very little we can say about that other than it's a chilling story. i mean, it's a chilling story. i mean, it will keep me up at night. what do you think, steve? >> cos your dolls. yeah. you want to be careful with all the dolls? i don't have any dolls near my bed. this is why i've never been attacked by a doll. >> i have a collection of porcelain. victorian dolls. >> i am not, i'm not surprised by that . by that. >> and at night, the way the moonlight glints, it's sometimes looked like. looks like they're alive. yeah. that's how every horror movie starts, right?

yeah. one of them will get possessed by a serial killer. yeah. and you know , the rest is history. >> this is why i never have a bathroom cabinet with a mirror on it. because you open it up. close it. there's someone there. of course. >> don't do it. i know, rookie mistake. okay, those are the front covers. looked at. join us in part two where we're going to have labour's latest losses knighthoods for all and good old fashioned ukrainian sabotage. don't go

welcome back to headliners. it's your first look at friday's newspapers. i'm still andrew doyle. i'm still joined by leo kearse and steve n allen. we're going to kick off with the express and labour's poll lead. where's it gone? >> it's flattened because dan abbott leaned on it. so labour's poll lead has collapsed after 40 days in office, with reform now in second place. unfortunately for anybody getting optimistic about that, there's five years until another election , so polls until another election, so polls just don't matter at the moment.

but people are really regretting voting. >> labour already. what did you think was going to happen? >> well , honestly, i think was going to happen? >> well, honestly, i didn't think it was going to be this bad. no that's true. i didn't vote labour. but like i mean, i'm really shocked by. i knew it was going to be bad, but i'm really shocked by how quickly, you know, keir starmer has just revealed himself to be some sort of, you know, xi jinping style authoritarian, you know, authoritarian, you know, authoritarian , forcing people authoritarian, forcing people to, you know, hate their country instead of like forcing them to be patriotic. >> just the arrests and the prosecutions of people for social media posts. it's also one of the first things they did was cancel the higher education freedom of speech act. and they didn't even give people the opportunity to debate . they just opportunity to debate. they just blitzed it like totally authoritarian stuff. it's brazen. >> he's doing a trudeau speed run. it's insane. but the good news is reform uk are storming up the polls. they've overtaken the tories once again . despite the tories once again. despite widespread criticism of nigel farage amid this month's riots. or maybe because of that criticism, because everybody can see that it's, you know, people are speaking out of both sides of their mouth, but labour, the poll results. labour are down

six points to 33%. that's 12 points ahead of reform, who are on 21%, and the tories are on 20%. the only thing i'd say is this is by a polling company called, we think, polling , which called, we think, polling, which ihadnt called, we think, polling, which i hadn't actually i haven't heard of them. yeah. which does make me wonder someone's made up their own website, doesn't it ? their own website, doesn't it? >> also, i wouldn't want people who just think polling maybe do polling, do some polling. we do polling. i'd, i'd look at that poll, but we think polling. >> steve, do you think what this does suggest is something that we've talked about before? you know, that every vote is up for grabs. the polls can go any which way. you can go from an 80 seat tory majority to 412 labour seats. no, there are no such things as labour voters anymore. and tory voters, they'll everything's up for grabs. >> well, it's a spectrum, isn't it? at the ends of those, the tail of the bell curve. there'll be people who will never vote anything other than the one that they're tied to that's getting smaller and in the middle. when the interesting things happen. but also it's pointless doing a poll now. polls are kind of pointless anyway. if we didn't need stuff to talk about because it's what you feel in that moment of voting. the a few weeks before was less

informative, but a few weeks after utterly pointless. ken clarke always said, though, that this is the period to do the unpopular things, and even ken clarke would be like, well, i didn't mean that much. no. come on lads, that's pretty insane. >> okay, we're going to move on now to friday's eye news. and knighthoods are a lot like lollipops. you have to do a lot of sucking, but they're ultimately overrated. steve, >> traded like lollipops. tories give 110 mps knighthoods in 14 years. so it's a broken system. the tories worked out how to use it, particularly well in the old days. if you wanted to be a sir, you had to have like a big sword. you have to sit at a round table, maybe i've gone too far back for that reference. >> you have to find grails. it meant something, didn't it? >> these days, if you back a prime minister through a particularly squeaky motion. actually, that sounds wrong as well. but i meant a vote. then next thing you know, you're in. the best example is andrea jenkins, who served a few months as a junior education minister, got a damehood for it. meanwhile, there'll be someone who's been out on the old zebra crossing for their entire life,

gets a cbe, and is meant to be happy about it. and this is as bad as when boris johnson put the, what's her name? charlotte owens, into the house of lords. is it a lover? is it a half sister? let's hope it's not both. but this happens a lot in resignation honours and liz truss gets a mention for doing a resignation honours after 49 days. she hardly accrued holiday leave and yet managed to do a resignation. they should scrap them. >> like you say. it doesn't really mean much. i'm with you. i think if you're going to be a sir, you should have at least slayed a bear or some kind of wild animal or lynx. >> something all the way down to that. a fox, a lynx like that guy with a golf club. >> but i think, oh, yeah, jolyon maugham. yeah. >> sir julian, that was a maugham. yeah. >> sirjulian, that was a let's >> sir julian, that was a let's be accurate. that was a fox. >> yeah. with a kimono and a tennis racket or something. he was wearing a kimono and he used a baseball bat. they should introduce it to the olympics. i would, i would watch that posh, posh fops killing foxes. but i think i think mps getting elected. the tories come under flack here for, for putting so many mps or former mps in the

lords. i think mps are better than bureaucrats or quango executives or community leaders, which is such a euphemistic term and is usually somebody who's, you know, pretending to speak on behalf of a community that doesn't exist in order to give themselves powers. and there's a suggestion here that it's time to put an independent body in full control of the process of putting , you know, assigning putting, you know, assigning people to the house of lords, like, where are you going to find independent people to do this? there aren't any independent people. >> sure enough, do you think the lord should be abolished? >> no, i don't actually. i think it's one of those things that's anachronistic and it doesn't make sense. you wouldn't invent it if it didn't exist, but it actually does quite a good job. it's sort of like the royal family like that . family like that. >> okay, interesting. alright, we're going to move on to the guardian. the truth behind the destruction of the nord stream pipeline. who's got this? >> so yeah. so this is this is crazy. >> so the ukrainian team did blow up the nord stream pipeline. according to a report in the wall street journal. so this is another far right conspiracy theory that's come true. so the nord stream one and two pipelines carried natural gas from russia to germany under

the baltic sea. very cold sea. and it was damaged in explosions in september 2022. and just seven months after the after moscow's invasion of ukraine. so it put the pipeline out of action. there's that dramatic picture of all the gas bubbling up, and it worsened an energy crisis in europe, particularly germany, of course. and, you know , germany was was absolutely know, germany was was absolutely dependent on russian cheap russian gas. and trump laughed at trump. and then it turned out trump was, you know, over the years, like various people have been blamed. russia was blamed. ukraine was blamed. america was blamed as well by the hungarian president, just stop oil just stop oil . i think stop oil just stop oil. i think it's too cold for them. they just like fly into goa and places like that to stop oil, not gas. >> yeah, they don't care about gas, right? >> that's fair enough. >> that's fair enough. >> but yeah, according to according to the wall street journal, the sabotage operation involved a small sailing boat and a team of six people. a combination of ukrainian soldiers and civilians. and it used private funding, but it was directed by a serving army general who reported back to

ukraine's then commander in chief, valerii zaluzhnyi, who approved the plan but later called it off after the cia found out about it. but then they went ahead with it anyway, and zelezny pressed ahead with the mission. the report claims. this is interesting because zaluzhnyi was and still is a sort of political rival to zelenskyy, and i think he would actually be a he's a much better, in my opinion, a much better, in my opinion, a much better chief of the armed forces than sursky or whatever. he's called. >> but how definite is all of this? >> so this is i mean, this isn't definite. this is this is this is like agatha christie sleuth. slightly speculation, but i mean , slightly speculation, but i mean, i think it's yeah, i think i mean, it's the wall street journal, so they wouldn't be running it if it wasn't. this isn't this isn't some this is , isn't this isn't some this is, this isn't some, you know, anti you know, you'd understand if it was in an anti ukraine if it was on rt or something like that . on rt or something like that. but this is wall street journal which is generally, you know, pro—democrat pro—ukraine steve you're quite a sleuth. >> do you think there's anything in it? >> i didn't get around to looking into this one myself. i do remember seeing online when people were blaming the cia, and i did think, this is online.

people blame the cia for everything they do. you can trace everything back there. >> well, if they hadn't have killed kennedy, we wouldn't be doing it. >> yeah, but if it if it were ukraine, you kind of think you got to let them have it. you know, if you're in a war with russia, blowing up a russian thing. yeah. i'll let you have that. and also, we should be less dependent on that gas. by we, i mean europe should be less dependent on russian gas. so i guess it was a bit of a lesson. so i mean, i didn't do it myself all for it. i didn't do it myself. but i'm, you know, i didn't stop them. well, well , didn't stop them. well, well, no, i think you're going to get a knock on your door soon. >> okay. we're going to move on to this story. this is from the independent women in india reclaiming the streets. who's got this? >> yeah. massive protests in india as women march to reclaim streets after doctors brutal rape and murder. so police fired tear gas at large crowds of men who turned up, as well as like the violent part of the protest, they attacked a hospital where this trainee doctor was raped and killed. so it's easy to look at this story and see. a lot of the message in here is about the cultural issue they have with violence to women. and yes , violence to women. and yes, indeed, that's there. there's also claims that the police , if

also claims that the police, if anything, defend the perpetrator before they try and protect the victim. but then you realise, i mean, someone was arrested with links to the police and it's not as if we've never had a problem with people linked to the police sexually assaulting and murdering women. so we can't take the moral high ground there. thousands of women took to the streets. the protest turned violent, not as if we'd never had a protest that turned violent. so we're not doing well on moral high ground. the doctor can't be named because it's a doctor. there are doctors strikes three for three. we've got no moral high ground on this one because we've got them and all that's true. >> leo kearse what do you think? >> leo kearse what do you think? >> i think we do have the moral high ground because this is you know, it's much more endemic in india or certain parts of india. certainly and yeah like i think our police officers who do things like that , they're things like that, they're they're working alone. it's not part of a, you know, culture of going out and doing stuff like that. yeah. >> okay. fair point. we've made it to the end of part two. but do join us us again in part three when we're going have comedy controversies and break

welcome back to headliners. it's your first look at friday's newspaper. we're going to start this section with the telegraph comedian story. who's got it? >> it's me saying police launched a hate crime inquiry as israel israelis hounded out of edinburgh fringe show. it's reginald. we've covered this part of the story, but reginald d hunter in a show does a joke saying being married to your abuser is like being married to israel causes upset, not from domestic abuse charities. so we'll wait for that to come round. but a couple in a couple of from israel in the audience said not funny so far so normal stand up gig with heckling, but the audience turned on. >> you get that a lot, do you? >> you get that a lot, do you? >> not funny, not funny. it always happens, surely . guys, always happens, surely. guys, that happens every show i've heard about it happening.

>> i'll be fair. okay >> i'll be fair. okay >> okay, okay, the i'm turning up to all your shows from now on, but the audience then were turned on by the audience, turned on by the audience, turned on by the audience, turned on this couple until they left. the guy of the couple was disabled. so it must have been one of those awkward, really long, like, excuse me, pardon me. at the row. took ages awkward. but remember, this is scotland . they've got the new scotland. they've got the new hate crime bill thing, which means you can be investigated for anything if someone thinks it was offensive. >> but my understanding is now the members of the audience were shouting abuse at the people leaving. >> yes. so this is the thing, right? what's the hate crime? is it the joke? well, you defend jokes for being jokes. they're not meant to be. even if they're not meant to be. even if they're not funny. you can defend a joke , not funny. you can defend a joke, the audience turning on them. who's in charge of the audience? they're going to track down every member of the audience to have a hate crime against them. mob. >> it's a far right mob. >> it's a far right mob. >> the general. the general mob. yeah. was it a far right mob going to see a black comedian? >> well, if they're shouting abuse at jews, then that makes them more far right than the people who normally get called far right, who tend to have a lot of israel flags with them. >> the phrase far right confuses me these days because it is used

quite liberally. let's put it that way. >> yeah. i mean, it's a it's a kind of meaningless phrase. yeah, but this, this is quite, this is quite an issue because, i mean, when the, when the hate crime bill came out, i stood, i stood for election against humza yousaf to sort of raise awareness and to have fun because there's nothing else to do because comedy was shut. but i said, this is going to this is going to harm comedy. this is going to harm comedy. this is going to harm comedy. this is going to mean that we can't tell jokes on stage. and a lot of comedians said, oh, you're just a stupid bigot who just wants to say horrible things on stage. and i was like, yeah, i do, because look what happens now. they're coming for reginald d hunter, and i've worked with reginald d hunter. i know he's a he's a nice guy. he's not you know, he doesn't aim to whip up hate or anything like that. but under this ridiculous hate crime law and his jokes, when they're read out in the cold light of the courtroom will sound like it could be problematic to go that far. >> so what have they said so far? so it's an investigation, right? so some. >> so it's an inquiry by the police at the moment. some of his jokes are so typical. he tried to , look at a review of tried to, look at a review of one of his shows on a jewish newspaper's website, and it was

behind a paywall. so he made a joke about how, you know, you had to pay and how that was typically jewish. >> but it's structured like a joke. that's a joke. it's clearly a joke, and it's a funny joke, you know what i mean? >> and i'm not anti—semitic. i'm the opposite. i'm like, you know, i'm a i'm a zionist. but like, for this, for jokes to be policed in this way, like this is going to really hurt. >> but it's not the first comedy. it's not the first time. i mean, we have i mean, if i read those jokes and i think if you compare that to some of the jokes other comedians say on stage, jerry sadowitz, jerry sadowitz straight into prison, if we if we actually apply the hate crime law and that's what happensin hate crime law and that's what happens in places like malaysia, like my mate rizal, his comedy club was shut down because the islamic morality police took offence at something that happened on stage. can we just say there's basically a protective bubble on stage? you know, like that whole old myth about the clowns used to draw a circle around themselves so they would protect. they could say, what they want to the king that actually, whatever comedians on stage , however ostensibly stage, however ostensibly horrible it is, you just give them a free pass. i think that would actually be the way you've opted into it by going to see the show, right? >> a comedy show, you know, that

it could say things that you think are not funny. >> yes, yes or indeed offensive. you know, that sort of part of it . yeah. but people every time it. yeah. but people every time this sort of thing happens, people say, oh, it doesn't mean it won't get any further. like, do you remember when the countdown killer case where, you know, some guy makes a joke video and he gets hauled through the courts and everyone at the time said, well, the police aren't going to get involved with professional comedians. and then they looked into jo brand and they're like, yeah, but they're not sending professional comedians to prison. it's like once you can see the slippery slope, yeah, emerging comedians will be sitting in a gulag saying, oh no, this isn't so bad. >> no, this is this is a drama. >> no, this is this is a drama. >> bebe. they've got a table tennis. yeah it's not that bad. >> you know, i don't know when people are going to wake up if we all get sent to the gulag. >> i'm not driving. that's the only thing i'm not. i'm not doing that anymore. you have to drive other comedians around. >> that's the worst thing. yeah. okay, well, we're going to move on now to the guardian. and this is a ray gun related massacre. leo. >> so the australian breakdancer rachel gun, aka ray gun, said the backlash she has received since competing at the paris

olympics has been devastating, and she's pleaded for privacy for her family and friends. she says i really appreciate the positivity and i'm glad i was able to bring some joy into your lives. that's what i hoped. but i didn't realise it would also open the door to so much hate, which has frankly been pretty devastating. i should have done a better dance then, to be honest. >> no, she was trolling, right? the dance was a joke . the dance was a joke. >> it kind of looks like a joke, she says. she says it's sincere. there's a lot of creativity there. i thought. i thought it was a fun thing. and also the olympics. the whole spirit of the olympics is it's amateurs. remember? eddie? eddie the eagle. yeah. throwing himself down the ski jump and everybody cheers because this is just some, some guy who, like, works in tesco's or whatever. now, now he's throwing himself down a ski jump he's throwing himself down a ski jump and he's not winning any medals. but it's fun . medals. but it's fun. >> and i think this is a deliberate it was clearly it was like that scene in that chris lily series. you know, the gym high school girl where the girl does a stupid interpretive dance on stage at the end of school, the end of term concert. it was like it looked like that. that's just that makes me think it was a joke . a joke. >> but those just weren't breakdancing. looks like. is it? >> it's not, though, is it? i

mean, i remember seeing it in films in the 80s, which is probably where it should have been left. but it didn't look like that. she looked like she'd been run—dmc. >> video it's like that. that's there's a lot of spinning on heads. >> yeah, she didn't do any of that. >> she's avant garde, right? >> she's avant garde, right? >> she's avant garde, right? >> she should spin on her head, bringing it to a new level. >> i thought this was the best thing from the olympics. it's. i'm annoyed that she's getting all serious about it. it was the levity that we needed. we were having a rough time over in the uk. and to see her rolling around like a dog in fox poo was amazing. but then the bit where she says, i really like to ask the press to stop harassing my family and my friends. the australian breaking community and the broader street dance community. and i thought, haven't the broader street dance community suffered enough? >> yeah , i'm always harassing >> yeah, i'm always harassing the break dance community. >> just break your heart. >> just break your heart. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> the broader street dance community. oh, god. >> where do they hang out? the break dance street. the street dance. are they on the street? >> the clues of the question. >> the clues of the question. >> but you need a bit of vinyl because you can't spin in your head on the gravel. >> is that how the gangs fight? they actually go up to each other and sort of dance in the middle, and then step back.

>> and a lot of 70s movies that i've seen, they do, don't they? >> roll out the lino? >> roll out the lino? >> well we should. that's a good way for conflict resolution. yeah, i think it's better than, you know, tanks and that. that's right. right. we're going to move on to another racism in comedy story. now, leo, this is about your act. no it's not. >> it's about my friend rahul kohli who wants to build bridges between right wing rioters and the liberal left through his comedy. and it's actually working. he's converted an edl audience member during his edinburgh fringe show. >> is that because the edl disbanded ten years ago? >> i think i think this is, i don't i don't think i don't think he's he's making this up. i think basically what happened was he had an edl supporter in from sunderland. and a woman who's flyering his show handed the edl guy a poster. these flyers were posters, apparently instead of flyers. and he pins the flyers on the wall, but handed him a poster and the edl guy said, i like the title, the title of the show, which you should definitely see is rahul kohli. rahul britannia . and the kohli. rahul britannia. and the flyer was like, where are you from? and the guy replied, i'm from? and the guy replied, i'm from sunderland and he said that he's in the edl and, basically

the guy came to the show and loved it so much that he bought the flyer a pint and he's basically had his opinions changed. how do we know he's had his opinions changed? because rahul says he did okay, but rahul says he did okay, but rahul rawail wouldn't like make up stuff. >> no, no, i'm not suggesting this is a publicity stunt, although we are talking about it on tv now . yeah, and he's got on tv now. yeah, and he's got still got some shows and some tickets to sell. yeah. and honestly, he's a great comedian. >> go and go and see his show. and he's really inventive and fun. and honestly, if you are actually you know what? i'm going to convert rahul to being , going to convert rahul to being, to being right wing. that's, that's what i'm going to do just to level it off the universe requires balance. >> is this story, if you read it a different way, not just bloke fancies. flyer goes to see a show and then takes flyer out for a drink. >> well, that would be a more sinister way of looking at it. that's what i'm here for. that is what you're here for. the balance, the creepy, creepy balance. right. we're going to move on now to this, story about a columbia university boss who encouraged anti—semitism on campus, has found her new home in the labour party at columbia

university. >> boss quits over gaza process to work for david lammy. >> boss quits over gaza process to work for david lammy . so this to work for david lammy. so this she stepped down immediately after sending a letter out about this. remember, there was a lot of controversy over the anti or the pro—palestinian protesters. they were called, they were sleep ins, which at university is effectively what the halls are for already. so it was a mess. jewish students didn't feel safe because of how the protests were handled. so she's leaving clear of it. get out of that place. you don't want anything like that where you could get caught up in this middle east situation. she's going to go and work for check notes. foreign office. all right. so in an email to the staff, she said that the unrest had led to a period of turmoil where it's been difficult to overcome the divergent views across our community. yeah, you won't have to worry about that anymore. then, working once more for the foreign office. so this is going to be fun. >> i mean, it sounds made up. what do you think, leah? >> yeah, no, it's ridiculous. >> yeah, no, it's ridiculous. >> and it really shows. you know what david lammy really thinks, and i hope, you know, a lot of people who voted labour are now, you know, reappraising that and seeing what they've, what

they've done, and this woman, it also reveals that there's a sort of elite class who just, you know, ping between organisations because she's previously worked at the department for international development, the international development, the international monetary fund, deputy governor of the bank of england. and so, you know, universities . so clearly there's universities. so clearly there's a there's a sort of a strata of people who can just bounce between these organisations, who suck up lots of taxpayers money. >> yeah, they're called posh people. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> their cv doesn't have six months of working in subway. there's never that bit there's a new posh and it's this sort of managerial elite. >> yeah absolutely. that's it for part three. join us in the final section for capitalist drones. sneaky short kings. and we'll find out what the referee is. don't go anywhere

welcome back to headliners. it's your first look at friday's newspapers. we're going to jump straight back in with the daily mail. and men have been lying about their height. next we'll find out leo isn't actually five foot four. >> so how tall do you think these men are? women are using ai these men are? women are using al to catch men lying about being six feet tall on dating apps and here's how you can try it. so women are screenshotting photos from dating app profiles, putting them into chatgpt and asking chatgpt the ai thing to provide an estimate of how tall they are. and apparently it can work it out from, you know, if you're standing next to, you know, a matchbox or a ruler, you know, a matchbox or a ruler, you know, it, can it can it can work it out. i think they also need to do this for how old people really are, because, yes , i'm really are, because, yes, i'm not. i pretended i was five years younger than i put old photos on and people put old photos. so then like, you know, i can work out if the, you know, the twin towers behind you in

that picture are still there. >> but the thing is, do people do women really care about height? i mean, is that a thing, do you think? >> yeah , apparently so. really, >> yeah, apparently so. really, there was a story. i don't know if we covered it here, like last year or something. if you're under five, 11, you just ain't getting swiped on on that. it's. these apps have just turned it into a numbers game, like a metric meat market. kind of just looking for reasons to disqualify people. >> but do women like being towered over? is that like an evolutionary thing? well apparently they find them. >> they like the idea of tall men because they could protect you. i'm six foot two and you're on your own. if a mugging is happening, i'm. this is why i practice running. well, also, jackie chan must be below that. >> yeah, like he would be great if you were getting mugged. i'd rather be going out with jackie chan than some tall fella. >> i think it's because women like to wear high heels. so in high heels, i had like six inches. probably yeah. so then. so they say women do have, like. like steve says, women have got ridiculous demands these days. it's like the six, the sixes. you've got to be six feet. have six figures and some, some other

stuff that i can't see. six toes, six is really narrow. >> can you just say what it would be like if there was a story of men using chatgpt to check cup size? yeah, it would be written very differently, wouldn't it? >> maybe that will happen next. good point. maybe it's a legitimate thing. okay, let's move on to the times now. steve which side was that referee on? no, really . no, really. >> football, so the premier league refused to declare who the ref support . they. earlier the ref support. they. earlier in the day, there was a rumour that came out that this is how you'd solve the problem of biased refs and var, whatever that stands for. something about panty lines, i think, but what they were going to do is force they were going to do is force the refs to say who they support. but now the rules would be that you can't a ref can't actually referee a game if they support any of those teams, if they live in the area, or there's some other thing in there's some other thing in there as well, but they don't have to say who they support. so i mean, you could eventually whittle it down by which games they're not at. >> don't just can't you just deny it? like, can't you just say, i don't support anyone if

you want the extra work. >> yeah. but you know, these football people are like, oh no, i'm, i'm everton to the court as i'm, i'm everton to the court as i die. >> they do say things like that. what do they mean by that? >> they do. it's because they, they're not allowed any, any patriotism or nation state anymore. so they've got to transfer all that passion and feeling onto a football team. right. it's sort of like how women aren't, you know, don't have children anymore. so they transfer that empathy onto a cat or onto ridiculous political ideas. well, a cat costs you less. yeah. also, i just remembered something from the from the some advice from men who might be on dating apps. go on. if you want to see if a woman's fat, look for fingers and collarbones because they'll have sausage fingers and the collarbone will be buried beneath a layer of fat. >> so no need for i with fat sleuth leo kearse on the case, we're going to move on to the sun next. leo. and people like their coffee like they like their coffee like they like their women likely to kill you, apparently. >> so . so how much coffee is too >> so. so how much coffee is too much coffee? scientists discover how many cups a day can raise your risk of a heart attack or a

stroke. so four cups of coffee per day is the safe limit, and any more caffeine could strain your heart . specifically, 400mg your heart. specifically, 400mg of caffeine each day raises your blood pressure and heart rate and forces your heart to work harder. but you also get caffeine in pre—workout for going to the gym. so isn't this just a load of rubbish? well, i don't know. i mean, is it is it healthy to have the pre—workout that has the caffeine and stimulates stimulates your heart and then if so, is it healthy to take a lot of other stimulants before you go and lift weights? >> i'm so sick of this though. every day there's another article saying you mustn't drink this. oh no, actually, you should drink this. you mustn't eat this. oh no, actually you must. and i can't be bothered. >> caffeine is a hell of a drug. back in the days at university, in the labs, they had to have the full skull and crossbones on pure caffeine. not that we used it for many experiments, but if you just had a mouthful of that, you'd die. your heart would stop. so, you know, it's quite potent. but like two energy drinks, four cups of coffee, just get yourself a watch that tells you what your heart rate is, and then you can see your

blood pressure and heart rate is great. and then just show it to louis schaefer to make him feel better about it. >> okay, well, we're going to move on to the daily star next with the death of the high street. what's all this about death of high street edges closer as amazon prepares to debut. >> futuristic new device is a drone. it's not that futuristic. divorced dads have been using these on weekends for ages now, but the amazon drone rollout is part of this test, and it's about having drones that you can't get line of sight to. so, you know, these autonomous, basically like terminator, but with wings, that's comforting. it'll be a new way of delivering things to your door if it goes well or 17 people will be decapitated tomorrow. we'll find out on tomorrow's episode of headlines. >> it's not allowed, though, is it? because if you have drones, you can look into people's back gardens and stuff? >> oh, no, this is amazon we're talking about. they already listen to you on your various devices. >> oh, so they know what you're up to anyway. >> are you having sex all the time? >> they'll be able to sync the view from the moon through your bedroom window with the voice , bedroom window with the voice, the recording from the alexa, it's going to be incredible. >> yeah, but what they say is that, you know, when you've got

an alexa in your bedroom, they can't hear you having an intimate moment because they don't record it. isn't that the point? >> it's constantly listening for any key phrases. so if it hears the word alexa, it starts sending that audio back down to their data centres. but what if you're going out with alexa? well you don't shout out a name dunng well you don't shout out a name during lovemaking. >> what if you just do? that's your habit. >> yeah, and certainly don't discuss anything, you know, anti—establishment or anything. yeah. keir starmer is going. but what worries me about this is so we're going to have autonomous drones flying around dropping parcels at people's front doors. how is the drone going to move the bins and put the parcel behind the bin? i just think this is just going to be worse. this is going to be the equivalent. the final part of this thing is going to be the drone dropping it into your bird birdbath or something like that. it's like an every delivery man. yeah, you might as well just have somebody hoofing it over the garden fence. >> that's true. i read an article about how drones are going to kill us all, and they were talking about how they're going to create little drones the size of like, blue bottles, which will be able to fly through our bodies at such a speed that we won't have a chance. you won't be able to swat them away. what do you make of that, steve?

>> i don't think they're doing that on amazon prime air. >> well, maybe not now, but but you know, it's just it's the first it's the slippery slope is what i'm saying. >> it is. but they'd have to only be they'd be delivering such small little items. don't buy small things from amazon. that's what it is. they're testing it in highly, lightly populated suburban areas. they won't say where, but if you live in a lightly populated suburban suburban area, wear a hat. >> if you live in donbas, you're going to get a warhead from amazon pretty soon. i just think drones and i it's the end of us, you know ? you know? >> i'm all for it. >> let's move on to this final story now, leo, what's this about campaigning to hide the nipple so women reveal why men going shirtless gives them the ick and even if you're a hunk like harry styles, it's still disrespectful. >> and that is why steve and i have both worn shirts tonight. but from sunny parks to sweltering streets, the recent hot weather has seen a parade of flesh, a parade of flesh worthy of an episode of love island as men with gym honed bodies and dad bods alike take the opportunity to whip off their shirts. these were called riots . shirts. these were called riots. and yeah, yeah, i know i've seen

i've noticed there's this show called love is blind. i don't know if you watch it, but all the women are just like normal women. all the men have got like, these sort of steroid bodies, like a sort of action man figure or a he—man figure. and they're all waxed, aren't they ? they're all waxed. they? they're all waxed. >> they've got no hair. >> they've got no hair. >> where's the hair? >> where's the hair? >> well, maybe they're keeping it to stuff a pillow or something. >> you know what? burt reynolds? he had a hairy chest. you need to bring that back. >> yeah, very sexy. what do you think, steve, >> it's not all about you. i love that this story is about. it gives women the ick. i don't think they're taking their shirts off to impress you. they're taking their shirts off because they're hot and sweaty, and they've probably just given in on life. >> you know, i think it's exhibitionism. no, really. >> no, i mean, i'm not in favour of myself. yeah. it's, you know, if you're a bit warm, you take your shirt off, you make people around, you feel ill, but you've cooled down. no, you should wear a vest like a bruce willis style thing, shouldn't you? >> yeah. i think there is something disrespectful about it. there should be dress codes in society, but people in the survey said they should be arrested for it prosecuted or fined for it. >> calm down. >> calm down. >> yeah, that's a bit extreme, isn't it? >> don't give keir starmer ideas. >> he'll be on that straight away. anyway, that's all we got time for . but

away. anyway, that's all we got time for. but let's have another quick look at friday's front pages before we go to the daily telegraph is leading with gps and next in line for pm's cash handouts. the daily mail has got so much for an economic crisis. the times ministers favouring unions over pensioners. the guardian has the two tier system record. a—level results highlight regional divide. apparently people in the south doing a little bit better . the doing a little bit better. the express has got surely no need for tax hikes with our growing economy. that's a sarcastic headune economy. that's a sarcastic headline there, and the daily star man hating ghost dolls terrifying rampage a truly chilling story. there that's all we've got time for tonight. thanks to my guests, leo and steve. we're back tomorrow at 11:00 with leo kearse, cressida wilson and bruce devlin. and if you're watching the 5 am, repeat , please do stay tuned repeat, please do stay tuned because now it's time for breakfast. >> that warm feeling inside from boxt boilers sponsors of weather on . gb. news

on. gb. news >> hey good evening. here's your latest gb news weather forecast coming to you from the met office . looking ahead to office. looking ahead to tomorrow and there will be sunny spells for many of us in just a few showers in the north. but before then , we do have some wet before then, we do have some wet weather around at the moment. we do have a frontal system that's still making its way southeastwards , and this is southeastwards, and this is going to bring quite a bit of cloud, quite a bit of rain across much of england and wales through the end of the evening, pushing away towards the southeast as we go through the early hours of friday morning. could be some heavy bursts amongst it before it eventually clears away towards the southeast through tomorrow itself. behind it, some clearer skies and under the clear skies. temperatures may drop a little bit lower than they have done through some recent nights. some places getting into mid single figures. so first thing tomorrow morning it is going to be a bit of a damp start across some parts of the far southeast, particularly towards kent . here particularly towards kent. here we could have some outbreaks of rain for a time before that front clears away. across the southwest of england. it's brighter also across much of wales and the midlands. some decent sunshine early on and a

similar story further north and northern england , northern northern england, northern ireland and into scotland. there will be some decent sunny spells here, but for western scotland quite a few showers already developing and these showers are going to continue as we go through the day tomorrow. they're always going to be most frequent across western northwestern parts of scotland, and here we will also have some blustery winds pushing their way in, and those blustery winds are going to add to the slightly cooler feel to things across northern parts of the uk. further towards the south southeast. once the cloud and the rain clears away , it should the rain clears away, it should feel pretty warm with temperatures in the mid 20s celsius. looking ahead to saturday and again, we're going to see some showers across northern and western parts. not many showers, but a few coming through at times and some brisk winds towards the far northwest . winds towards the far northwest. a greater chance of staying dry and avoiding the showers towards more eastern and southeastern parts. sunday looks like a relatively similar day, with more showers across the north before some wet weather arrives. for many of us by monday. by a brighter outlook with boxt solar

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she says it's lazy to suggest net migration was too high. >> she sat down with our political editor in this exclusive interview. >> net migration has gone up 2 million over four years. you don't want to say that was too much. i mean, many would say it is too much, but you can put context to it. >> justice secured for infected blood victims as labour confirm financial support for life for victims of the worst treatment disaster in the history of the nhs. >> harry and meghan arrive in columbia as the vice president.

francia marquez reveals it was