huge a preventable death. it's a huge burden on the nhs and of course it's a burden on the taxpayer. so yes, we are going to take decisions in this space. more details will be revealed, but this is a preventable series of deaths, and we've got to take the action to reduce the burden on the nhs and reduce the burden on the nhs and reduce the burden on the nhs and reduce the burden on the taxpayer . on the taxpayer. >> in other news, israel has agreed to a series of humanitarian pauses in gaza to allow for the vaccination of children against polio. that's according to the world health organisation. it's understood the campaign will aim to vaccinate around 640,000 children across the gaza strip, and will begin on sunday. a hamas official says they welcomed the news. a teenager has been found guilty of stabbing a 15 year old girl to death in the street. hollie newton suffered 36 knife injuries after an attack in hexham in northumberland in january of last year. the court

previously heard hollie had told a friend just hours before being stabbed that the youth was basically stalking her. a 17 year old boy, who cannot be named, admitted a charge of manslaughter but denied murder, claiming his mind went blank that day and he had only intended to take his own life. train driver strikes at london nonh train driver strikes at london north eastern railway have been called off following last ditch talks between union and company officials. more than 20 days of strikes were planned on weekends in the next few months, after the union claimed there had been a breakdown in industrial relations. but aslef said strike action is now suspended and drivers will report for duty as normal. the development follows meetings between the union and the company, and teenage swimmer poppy the company, and teenage swimmer poppy maskell created history with britain's first gold of the paris 2024 paralympics. the 19 year old's time of one minute and three seconds broke the world record by a third of a second, and won the race. prime

minister sir keir starmer tweeted to congratulate her on her fantastic achievement. those are the latest gb news headlines for now. now headliners for the very latest gb news direct to your smartphone, sign up to news alerts by scanning the qr code or go to gbnews.com forward slash alerts . slash alerts. >> thank you sophia and hello and welcome to headliners. you run through the next day's newspapers with three comedians. i'm leo carson. tonight i'm joined by the people's chairman, paul cox and the people's beagle, lewis schaffer. hey, how are you both doing? all right. >> i've just spent three hours with lewis. lewis for the first time in ages, and i'm already regretting it. >> yeah, we've got another hour of that to come. >> paul, you know what? people's bagel >> paul, you know what? people's bagel. no, mine's bagels for sale. i'm not giving my bagel. let him give his ham. >> oh, anyone can munch my

gammon for free. >> it's a disturbing image . >> it's a disturbing image. let's have a look at tomorrow's front pages. the telegraph leads with workers to get right to demand for day week. the express has . demand for day week. the express has. has demand for day week. the express has . has sir demand for day week. the express has. has sir keir sounded the death knell of our pubs? the daily mail has outrage as starmer removes maggie thatcher's portrait. the guardian has. starmer risks clash with pub firms over plan for outdoor smoking ban. the mirror has terror swooped, saved thousands at a taylor swift concert. and finally the daily star has free at last shell shocked lioness caged in war torn ukraine, is rescued and brought to safety of uk. and those were your front pages . and those were your front pages. and let's have a closer look at those front pages, starting with the express poll. >> yes, yes it has. has sir keir starmer sounded the death knell of our sir keir starmer's nanny

state? will will call last orders on many pubs, clubs and venues, critics have warned. and of course, this is all about banning smoking in outdoor spaces like pubs and clubs. and you have to wonder now whether outside pubs and clubs outside. yeah, sorry . outside. you have yeah, sorry. outside. you have to start to wonder now whether keir starmer and his cabinet of do gooders really have real disdain for the working classes now, because this has become sort of an important key policy for them. this week. above anything else, when you could name almost anything else to replace it, knife crime, for instance, immigration would be another one as well. gangland warfare. i don't understand this whatsoever. and he says he wants to do it to protect the burden on the nhs. well, let me tell you something. we spend £10 billion, £10 billion per year trying to achieve net zero by 2050. we just gave half of that to the nhs. it would solve the

problem immediately. and if people out there are thinking, well, you know, the world will implode, well, let it implode because it will solve all our problems at the moment. yeah. >> but lewis, i mean, paul makes some good points, but also people are still dying from smoking. 80,000 people a year are dying from smoking. shouldn't shouldn't the government come in and nanny us into not smoking? >> you know what? paul doesn't understand why they're doing this. they're doing this because it's so. it's so stupid . it's it's so. it's so stupid. it's absolutely so stupid that they'll go back on it and then make us forget how undemocratic and authoritarian the whoever this party is. the labour party really is. that's why they're doing it. then they're doing it. this is so , first of all, we this is so, first of all, we don't know if 80,000 people have really died because of smoking. keir starmer keir starmer keir starmer . he keir starmer keir starmer keir starmer. he also said that a million people died from covid and that was a total lie. okay, sorry for saying that. number one, but what about the what about pubs, paul? >> because i mean, this is going to hit pubs. they're just recovering from covid. it's interesting that lewis brings up pubs had a terrible time under covid obviously, because you couldn't go to the pub and they're just recovering. and now

starmer hits them with this. now people are going to be dissuaded from going to the pub because they can't even they can't even go outside to have a cigarette now. it's ridiculous. >> i think it's incredibly insightful because it tells us what they don't understand about, you know, the regular person on the street. i run comedy clubs. people still smoke. not lots of people smoke. they said 80,000 die each year through smoking. obviously, anyone dying through smoking is bad, but 80,000 is 0.1% of the population. it's not exactly an epidemic. i mean, okay, if you take that out, it does take some burden off the nhs. it's not going to solve the problem. there are other ways to solve that problem, and we will cover it in other stories later on. however, i do run comedy clubs and people still want to have a smoke. if you can't stand outside a venue and have a smoke, you are going to put those people off. but you're taking comedy to them. >> you're thinking keir starmer, he doesn't. you know , he's he doesn't. you know, he's hurting his own people. these aren't his own people. he doesn't care about these people. he cares about elitist living in london and an immigrant community that's slowly taking taking over. >> so he you think he just wants to turn these convert these pubs

into mosques and it's an inevitability sooner or later? >> yes. sooner or later, they're going to have to ban drinking. and so they might as well start small . death by a thousand cuts small. death by a thousand cuts is what the chinese people say. >> yeah, that's also a technique used by terrorists. yeah lewis, what's the daily mail leading on? >> the daily mail outrage as starmer removes maggie's portrait. the maggie that they're talking about is margaret thatcher. and she was one of the great, great british presidents or whatever you have, prime minister, prime minister research done. she was great. we loved her in america . we loved loved her in america. we loved her in america, but we didn't understand the damage that she had done to the working class people. and the people of britain, because she didn't do that. can i tell my joke? i've got an old joke. do your joke. >> he's got a joke. >> he's got a joke. >> i've got a joke because of margaret thatcher. british people won't. no they won't. so many british people will not know what it's like not to get . know what it's like not to get. not to be lactose intolerant. you blew. you blew my tongue. >> oh, because she. she took away milk. >> she took away the milk because of margaret thatcher. people won't know the joy of

being in a brass band. because of margaret thatcher, because whatever it is, this is, this was. >> that's a very convoluted joke that nobody's going to get the reference of. she closed down the coal mines. >> you interrupted me. >> you interrupted me. >> she closed down the coal mines. >> they laugh at me. >> they laugh at me. >> collieries. i'm laughing. collieries often had brass bands and they often had brass. i'm from scotland. i'm from a coal mining area of scotland. closing the coal mines was the best thing that ever happened to me. it was. i'm six foot six. you can imagine me in a coal mine just banging my head every three steps and perhaps running up my trousers because you were tall. >> you. >> you. >> you're just dying from emphysema. you want to play in a brass band at the weekend ? you brass band at the weekend? you would. a son wants to be a dad. >> i get. would you stop? would you stop talking? >> who wants to be a ballerina for some reason? i'm not allowed to let him. >> this is brilliant. i've totally missed this. normally we like. i wasn't listening to what he was saying. >> you're talking right over the punchline because you talked over my punchline. i didn't know there was a punchline coming because you're so bad at telegraphing jokes. paul, what do you make of this story? >> i'm not going to tell any jokes. i'm just going to talk about it. at least we haven't taken down our big portrait of maggie thatcher here @gbnews

headquarters. we obviously swear allegiance to her as we come in the room. it's on the back of all of our passes that away. >> it's tommy robinson that we swear. >> yeah, well, him as well, but, i mean, it's . is it really i mean, it's. is it really a surprise that keir starmer doesn't like maggie thatcher? >> but it's a bit vindictive. i mean, he's supposed to be the prime minister for the entire country. and obviously a lot of the country think that maggie thatcher is a great woman, and she lifted us out of this socialist hellhole. we're probably going to need another maggie thatcher in about five years time to do the same thing. >> can can i tell you what this is? there's a story to. and you're just going to see this throughout all the papers today is the press is ganging up on keir starmer. they are laughing at him . this whole the whole the at him. this whole the whole the whole story with the, the, you know, the pubs and the not smoking. it's a laugh at the suv- smoking. it's a laugh at the guy. yeah. >> they're not letting him make any mistakes or be a terrible person without , you know, person without, you know, drawing attention to it. it's a witch hunt. anyway, moving on, lewis, what have the or sorry , lewis, what have the or sorry, paul lewis, what have the or sorry, paul, what have the mirror got?

>> yeah, really serious story, actually. terror swoop saved thousands. so thousands of taylor swift fans escaped death when an austrian terror plot was foiled by the cia, cia chiefs. and thank god for that. obviously, when we're thanking god in this story, we're thanking the christian god. but it's . it's. >> just tell him you're kidding. >> just tell him you're kidding. >> tell him you're kidding. i'm kidding. of course i'm kidding, this is my job. my job is to try and make this stuff amusing in some way. but this is harrowing . some way. but this is harrowing. i mean, quite clearly, the cia did foil a plot here where thousands of young people , kids thousands of young people, kids included, and parents of those children would have been slain at an event which should have been a celebration for them. >> and we've seen it happen before. the ariana grande concert in birmingham. and it's kind of disturbing that, you know, we're seeing so many of these plots foiled and so many we don't even hear about because they're not high profile at this. we've got 40,000 islamists this, this, this was in vienna, but in this country we've got 40,000 islamists on terror watch lists. so our security services

are working around the clock to stop these attacks. and, you know, i can't help but feel that they're sort of hiding. it's hiding the symptoms. but the underlying problem, the malaise, the hatred and the ideology that wants to blow up pop concerts is still there. >> well, it's just we don't know to what believe. it's in the mirror. we don't know in any of these newspapers. we don't know what to believe. but if i were an islamist , i wouldn't be an islamist, i wouldn't be blowing up taylor swift. i think that's really bad publicity. move for your cause, i think. i think we got to . we got to keep think we got to. we got to keep on. if i was an islamist, i'd just keep on being nicey nice. and then when the time is right, then you blow things. oh, sorry. i didn't mean to direct. you give them ideas, lewis. >> anyway, that's the front pages out of the way, but join us after the break for the home office's plan to bribe migrants to leave britain and germany.

i'm welcome back to headliners. i'm leo carson. i'm still joined by paul cox, who wants you to munch on his gammon. and lewis schaffer, who isn't giving his bagels away, kicking off this section with the daily mail and another day, another labour tax raid, this time on the investments that fuel economic growth. paul. >> yeah , quite astonishing this, >> yeah, quite astonishing this, i think. labour urged to launch 18 urged don't know by who launched an 18 launch an £18 billion tax raid focused on london and the south east. so

far nothing too unusual. rachel reeves, this is supposed to be part of rachel reeves first budget on the 30th of october, and the institute of public policy and research, the ipp are a left wing think tank, is calling for the government to use the tax system to rebalance the country. again, nothing too unusual there. however, when you start to hone in on the story, you realise where they're going to take the money from and it's capital gains. this is always capital gains. this is always capital gains, isn't it? because there seems to be property and investment are worth more in the south east for whatever reason. just just accept that. so that is not the fault of the people living there. and to raid people for capital gains, to me, just feels i'm very uncomfortable with it. and it's like robbing the future to pay for the envy of today . because, you know, of today. because, you know, they're saying, basically, i don't know who's pointing that finger, but they're saying that people are shrewder and they invest more in the south east. i don't know how true that is. it might not be true at all. one thing is true is the property is worth more. but you can't just

keep taking from people. you take tax on property every which way you turn. >> and also this this isn't just property. this is investments. obviously there's much more investing gets done in the city of london and also across the south—east, where people tend to be tend to be richer. but this is money that's invested in corporations and invested in small businesses. and then they grow. so it's the money to let them grow. and it generates much more growth, creates much more jobs than the government can ever do. the government essentially just burns money. so i mean, really, if we wanted economic growth, we'd not do this. we'd we'd give these people tax breaks instead of instead of stealing off them to give to other people . give to other people. >> but that's if you're reasonable. what what what a labour or a liberal or a democratic government wants to do is they want to bankrupt people to force them into communism. they want things to get so bad. and that's one of the things is, is this, is this capital gains when you sell the thing or is it just capital gains of stuff that's just sitting around? well, i know in america they've been, they've

been putting forward the idea of taxing unrealised gains, which is a terrifying prospect because obviously some shares are very volatile. >> so if you tax them at the peak, then you're paying a lot of tax on money. you haven't actually hasn't turned into real money yet. and then if the value of the share drops, you've paid all this tax and you've lost money, but even if it's not unrealised, let's say it is realised. >> so it's let's say when you get taxed, then they take 10% or 20% or 30% more, whatever. it's just going to make things more expensive for the next people who are buying it and which and people. >> it's going to slow down economic growth. it's going to reduce the amount of money that's flowing in to companies as investments, so they can expand so they can modernise . expand so they can modernise. and it's i mean, it is, as you say, the politics of envy. >> paul. yeah, very much is. and the statistics here do bear out to some degree. they're saying the amount per head in london, for capital gains per head. sorry. is 2500. where versus £500 in wales. but there's lots of economic reasons for that .

of economic reasons for that. and this thing this is, this is part of trickling down okay. so families have built wealth over time. we're not talking about the mega rich because the mega rich will filter their money out there in bermuda. they've got people. they're paying people to make sure they're in bermuda. >> listen to what he said. they moved out of the country. >> what leo and i are saying is having a what's called a conversation. >> i don't think it is. i think that people can tell it's not real. you can tell. >> but, paul, you're absolutely right. i mean, i think, you know, people labour are looking at rich people and saying, oh, they're rich. oh, we need to take that money off them instead of looking at rich people and saying, how did they get rich? how can we replicate that for other people? i mean, the poverty is the default state. you can't sort of abolish poverty because it's the it's the default natural state, the thing that's unnatural and is rarer is people getting rich. so instead of stamping out the rich, instead of stifling the rich, instead of stifling the rich and sucking all the money off them, work out what they're doing and try and replicate that. >> but this is the politics of not just envy. they want equity. they're going to go after people who wear glasses. which is why i

stopped wearing glasses. >> yeah, it's going to be like pol pot all over again. >> it's going to be like pol pot. >> i don't mean the guy who won britain's got talent. we've got the sun now. and as the nhs crumbles, the private sector is moving to in provide innovative services such as actually being able to speak to a doctor. paul. >> yeah, well, this is actually with louis. did you want to take this, louis or shall i go? >> no, you can do it. >> it's not this. with me. we moved on netflix. okay. sorry. netflix style gp subscription service for same day appointments. launched in uk for less than £1 a day. so this is launched by healthcare provider bupa. a lot of people be aware of bupa, the service has two subscription options. i think this is quite interesting so i'm going to read them out. one is for equivalent of 1666 per month. that's pounds or a bulk payment of £200 a year where patients can discuss their health concerns with the doctor via a 15 minute phone or video call. the other is 21 point, £66 per month, or 260 a year for the same for in—person appointments. now, on the face of it, this looks great. but the trouble is,

and it will it will reduce some of the burden on the nhs and for those who can afford it, like, you know, superstars like us, it's great, but it does. it does create a two tier health system in the uk and everything is so wrong. >> paul. it doesn't look great. >> paul. it doesn't look great. >> you made my point yet. >> you made my point yet. >> yeah, you did make a point. you said it looks great. it's not great. it's like you're going to pay a dollar a month to be basically to be able to call up people and say, i've got a little bit of back pain, what are they going to do? the health care system in this world is so pool care system in this world is so poor. all the things that they're going to look at vomiting , flu, fever, advice vomiting, flu, fever, advice about unwell children , these are about unwell children, these are all things. if you've got a problem, you don't want to be on the phone with 15 minutes. you're going to want to go in and. >> yeah, but you are going to want to speak to somebody. i mean, if you're if you're waiting for a gp appointment, they phone up for a gp appointment now and they basically say, well, we can make one for you in a month. so if you're still alive. yeah. >> because basically, basically nobody's dying. they're offering a service which is £200 a month to essentially have the nhs a

yeah >> yeah, sorry, £200 a year to offer the nhs service of about 1996. >> don't you think this is going to, you know, like you say, create a two tier system where andifs create a two tier system where and it's also going to disincentivize people to pay labour's tax rises because, you know, back in the old days, if there was a tax rise, at least you're using all the services that the government provided. now so many people are using privately provided services such as, such as bupa, so they're not even going to get to see anything. they're not going to feel any gain from from that, and they're not going to feel, you know, fraternity with their country. we've had any sort of nationalism beaten out of us. so, you know, we don't feel brotherhood with our with our fellow britons. no, you you are wrong. >> you are wrong. and you're making it seem like this is a great thing. i got to get bupa. it's basically an ad for it's a press release for bupa. it's not. there's nothing that these people can do that's going to make it any better. the nhs , i make it any better. the nhs, i hate to say it. i shouldn't say it's rubbish . it's rubbish. >> yeah, but but then also like, do you think it's going to affect the, the nhs. no. people paying paying affect the, the nhs. no. people paying paying tax keir starmer is bringing through all these

tax rises. yeah. and in the old days tax rises. you know it might hurt you but at least you're helping the country that you're helping the country that you love, at least because the more you're using the services that you're paying for. now, so many people aren't using the services that those taxes at some point in the future, like like with the bbc, people are saying, i'm not watching the bbc, but but right now, what are the beatles ? the beatles? >> it'll make it easier for the fewer people who are using in the nhs. but the truth is, the nhs doesn't help mainstream medicine doesn't help the only thing that helps is meat is eating, is eating meat and eggs okay. >> nearly. yes. oh my god , look >> nearly. yes. oh my god, look at that. >> before you get hired by bupa , >> before you get hired by bupa, we're going to move on. we've got the daily mail and the home office has a plan to get illegal immigrants out of the country. it's sort of like a voluntary rwanda scheme. louis. >> yes, exactly. you hit the nail on the head. failed migrants returning to the uk from the uk. okay. will receive free accommodation, cash assistance. they say 15 from a £15 million plan, which is not a

big not a big plan. they're spending 10 billion a year. 5 billion. they're spending billions. i think it's 5 billion a year more. okay. so they're spending all this money. so they're basically saying if you're an asylum seeker, life is so horrible where you're from, they're willing to pay you a few, a few thousand pounds to move back that is not a huge amount of assistance. >> it's a cash assistance provision of care and food packs and five days accommodation. when you're back in your war torn hellhole, which means from . torn hellhole, which means from. >> which means maybe it wasn't an asylum request because you didn't need to do it. if you're willing to move back. it wasn't that bad. >> well, that's the open secret that we've seen. and we've seen, i think in germany they did a study in three quarters of asylum seekers or people who claimed asylum, then return on houday claimed asylum, then return on holiday to the place they fled, fearing for their lives from. >> and they do they do talk specifically about which nations this would include, like albania, bangladesh, ethiopia, ghana, india , iraq, jamaica, ghana, india, iraq, jamaica, nigeria, pakistan, vietnam and zimbabwe. they're all places

that perhaps you we might not choose to live, but they're not. they don't need to flee. most of those places. >> they're not war torn. >> they're not war torn. >> they're not war torn. you don't need to seek asylum from the jamaica. it's quite nice, actually. understand? >> i've been to jamaica. >> i've been to jamaica. >> yeah. lovely. jamaica. no man of her own accord. >> that's one of dad's jokes. >> that's one of dad's jokes. >> you get an headliners. we've got the telegraph now. and with elections looming, germany is also clamping down on migrant migrant benefits. paul. yeah. >> really interesting. this. finally, someone's waking up. i think germany to slash benefits for migrants who arrive from other eu countries to bed bread and soap. that's all they're going to get. a bit like during the pandemic, they always had three word straplines, didn't they? this time it's bread, bread, soap. so olive schultz, who's now obviously the premier in in germany, is said to be preparing new measures to tackle illegal illegal immigration following islamic state inspired terrorist attacks. mr schultz is facing mounting pressure to clamp down on illegal migration after syrian man killed three people with a kitchen knife in a street festival last week. we've we've all covered that now. it

seems to me that germany, there's two aspects to this story. one is that germany appeared to have made a direct correlation between open borders and a rise in terrorism, something that we've been talking about for a long time. it seems very obvious to us they've made that. the other thing, of course, is this is this is a lot to do with this, this, this dublin policy that the eu are supposed to, supposed to be using , which the eu are supposed to, supposed to be using, which in the eu are supposed to, supposed to be using , which in the eu, to be using, which in the eu, any eu country, if you seek migration, asylum, you must do that in the first country you arrive at. of course, that becomes disproportionately the countries around the mediterranean like turkey, italy , mediterranean like turkey, italy, turkey, whatever it might be. so they just go, no, we're not having that . and those migrants having that. and those migrants don't seek that anyway. they're largely economic migrants who want to come to places particularly like germany because, they have opened their borders like a complete open border. >> yeah. we've got an election coming up in germany, and the afd, who are the right wing party who are tough on immigration, are projected to do very well in it, despite all the establishment attempts to stifle

them, arrest mps and all the rest of it, do you think with them surging in the polls, this is a bit too little, too late to hold them off? >> well, it doesn't sound. it sounds too little. i mean, what are you going to give them? bread. so that's diabetes and soap and totally unnecessary for these people. they don't even know what water is . is that too know what water is. is that too much? sorry. it was a joke. and arrived here by water and you know what it is? it's. it's even. this is too little. it is too little. we need. i'm not going to say what people need, but we need. yeah. >> given your previous comment, we should probably end it there. yeah. sorry, that's the end of part two, but stay with us. >> comedy. i'm trying to make it funny. >> hey, sometimes you swing and you, miss lewis, in the next section. we've got dyslexic children. i can't wait to see what lewis has to say about corrupt diversity. hiring in the police, and

welcome back to headliners. we've got the independent now. and kirstie allsopp says the children's mental health crisis is caused by parents being all soppy. lewis. >> yes, this is very interesting. >> lovely . this interesting. >> lovely. this is kirstie. acknowledge the pun. well, yeah, because she's called kirstie allsopp. >> oh, allsopp. oh sorry, i wasn't listening, new tactic is that kirstie allsopp says , quote that kirstie allsopp says, quote risk averse parents behind crisis in teen mental health. and this woman, this woman sent her kid across europe on an interrail thing, which my son is

doing. he's 22, soon. >> and he kirsty's son did it at age 15. >> he was age 15. >> he was age 15. >> he was with a 16 year old friend. >> right. but so did i. i went across i went on a bicycling trip by my. you know what i mean? >> i didn't have any other forms of transport. >> this is what we did. but back in the day, people had travelled by zeppelin for a while. they had 15 kids. so you could lose a kid back in the day, so people weren't afraid. now i wouldn't let my kids do any of this stuff because i only have two kids, three kids. i don't know how many kids do i have? and you don't want to lose. you don't want to lose a kid she's saying is making people mental. i have seen kirstie allsopp. she looks like a mental estella mother. i shouldn't say that. i don't mean that in a mean way. >> i don't think you know, that's not defamatory. the truth is always a good defence. paul what do you make of this? do you think we do coddle children too much? >> perhaps we do. yeah, that's that's definitely one part of the debate. i mean, the fact that she's 15 is still obviously a minor. i'm just impressed that

he managed to find his way out of the house. i've got a 15 year old. if i said to her, go and go on, fill your boots, go for a trip around europe, she'd just stand in the driveway waiting for me to drive her. she wouldn't. she wouldn't get herself anywhere. so it's quite impressive that this young lad, at 15, along with his 16 year old friend, would do this interrail trip. so i think i think she has some point, or maybe she's a really good mother. >> maybe she is. i just, i just because i have a thing about women. >> i don't think her. >> i don't think her. >> i don't think her. >> i mean, she has been reported to social services, which i think is mean. has you. yes. for real. for real. >> because they're 15 years old and she's ignored it. >> and basically they said they're going to keep it on file in case there's any other. yeah, she has. now, i don't agree with that at all. you know you can say what you like about kirstie allsopp location location, location did show some of her political views. i'm not on board with, but at the end of the day, it doesn't make her a bad parent. i don't think. and she there is a point now that children are mollycoddled a lot more. yeah, the idea that the world is more dangerous now is

up for debate. i don't know if it is or not. it is. it could well be. but i don't think this makes her necessarily a bad parent. >> no, absolutely. and i think reporting her to social services is i mean, the we need less government intrusion in people's lives. >> if i had one kid, i would not allow him. >> thank you for telling us. like you're having a stroke. the times now. and did you hear the one about the dyslexic child? turns out he was misdiagnosed. paul >> yes. doctors who believe dyslexia myths may be misdiagnosing children. so this is a study led by durham university, and it finds that many of the diagnosed children believe that letters jump around or words appear in different order, that for those with dyslexia and these indicators are now apparently discredited, researchers found. >> so it seems like luke is trying to explain a story. >> i mean, it does. louis hasn't got dyslexia. >> wait till i say something. >> wait till i say something. >> so we're waiting for you. i'm just. that's why i'm doing the story. so the people out there understand. >> but you always do too much of the story. let the people read. >> the reason i have to do with

you is because you're going to go and talk about meat. it's unrelated. so i'm just going to do this for a minute. other substantiated, unsubstantiated indicators, the authors said, such as high levels of creativity, motor skill problems and clumsiness are also not related to dyslexia. so there are a lot of tropes about dyslexia that we've all been told that are no longer true and have been discredited there. it does go on to talk about, have been discredited there. it does go on to talk about , the does go on to talk about, the things we should look at, like children that are in the lowest sort of percentile of reading and stuff like that . however, and stuff like that. however, i want to pass on to louis. now, who's going to talk to you about something mental? yeah. >> louis, can you tell us how you treated your dyslexia with raw meat? >> do you know something? >> do you know something? >> i didn't do it because i didn't believe in raw meat at that time. >> but the point is, you're still existed. >> no, i treated it with a smack in the head. that's the way you treat them, is that there's no such thing as dyslexia. because. because there's no such thing as words . it's a because there's no such thing as words. it's a human thing. it's only been around for a thousand couple of years. imagine you're living in. imagine you're in the jungle and there is no written form. you can't have dyslexia.

you can't go around saying, i'm dyslexic. i said, what is? what is the lexic is there's no such thing as not as having some genetic inability. you could be stupid . that could be one thing. stupid. that could be one thing. but basically it's bs. >> so yeah, we're cavemen being forced to fit into this modern society. i think we're doing all right. no, i didn't say that. >> i mean, what i said, some of that was absolutely mental. >> we're moving on anyway. we've got the eye now with a rather depressing story about suicide. >> there's no such thing as suicide . suicide. >> come on, you can do it in a way . way. >> in a way. the reason we've got high rates of suicide is keep people keeping track of it. if you live in some horrible jungle or something, you wouldn't commit suicide. >> all your stories, backstory. >> all your stories, backstory. >> i just wanted to relate because. because i don't want to offend any of our many viewers in those horrible who live in the jungle. is this suicide rates at highest levels since the 90s, and what are the high rates? according to the samaritans, which are the group who handle suicide? thank god they're named after a place in

over there. and it says that there were 6669 suicides in the past year , which is which is up. past year, which is which is up. >> have you got any wild speculation about why this could be? >> i'm going to tell you why. it could be because because people are because people are they're not eating enough meat. that is actually true . actually true. >> i'm going to try that. obviously male suicide in general is terrible. and you can see, particularly in today's society, why that might be increasing male suicide, particularly prevalent a high numbers between people aged 45 to 49. >> why, why he has to get to that. >> i'm going to get to that. but ineeded >> i'm going to get to that. but i needed to provide some statistics that you didn't, >> why does it matter? >> why does it matter? >> yeah, it does, because people won't understand the story. so this this i don't think this is simply because people don't talk about it . because one simply because people don't talk about it. because one thing we have improved in the last decade is that we do talk about suicide more. >> do you think we're talking about it too much? >> we could well be. we could well be. that might be one argument. >> well, men have got to open up and talk about their feelings.

it's like, come on, some pandora's boxes. you don't want to open. >> one thing we do not value anymore is traditional values associated to male behaviour. so male behaviour is inherent within men. it's to do with our testosterone levels. you know all other all that other good stuff that lewis is qualified in. >> yes. meat and men are just dismissed as toxic masculinity. >> and you know, pale, stale males and all that, that kind of stuff. i mean , you see it every stuff. i mean, you see it every day in society, really shuns, males. now, suicide is horrible, okay? >> it is horrible. it's really bad if you're thinking of it. don't don't do it. you're going to hurt somebody's feelings. and. but at the end, at the end of the day, i think there's, like you say, there's a lot of praise for being all soft and cuddly. and i think people are thinking, well, you know, if i'm all soft and cuddly by showing how badly off i'm doing, i'll make a friend. you won't make a friend. you'll be dead. >> one thing i would say is we've got the opportunity, is there will be men of this age. we know from our twitter fan base that men of that age will be watching this show. and, you know, i mean, we talk, we joke

about this, but if anyone is feeling this and they've just got to reach out. >> yeah. and also, don't do it. i know that sounds like a facile point, but if you have a suicidal urge, apparently there's a ten second window. if you can not kill yourself in that 10s. yeah reject the impulse, then you won't do it. yeah, very good. it's a real, you know, if you can just not do it for just count to ten, i know it for just count to ten, i know it sounds ridiculous , but it sounds ridiculous, but apparently that that. >> no, it doesn't sound ridiculous at all. >> good advice. the telegraph. now, with the health benefits of laziness . paul. laziness. paul. >> yeah, exactly. we can lie—ins could save your life. so this is a study of 90,000 adults in britain. found that catching up on sleep on saturdays and sundays could significantly cut the risk of heart disease . so, the risk of heart disease. so, you know, basically, if your other half at the weekend is telling you to get up, tell them to shut up is part of your health regime. i mean, that can't be the only part. yeah right. okay. but it is really worked hard on this part of my

regime. >> but it is really important. no paul, you're totally right. thanks. sleep is so. it's one of those things. yeah. not just meat, but you need stress free lives. you need sun. you need. you need sleep. you need. you need this stuff. but the problem is , this came from some chinese is, this came from some chinese people looking at some british problem. it's not a problem. but the problem is, is that they were looking at this thing from the british data, and it's an epidemic. so they're showing people who took a nap were less likely to die to die or whatever, whereas it could just be that people are less likely to die, tend to be healthier or. yeah, or something, take naps or something like that. >> napping. you can't get run over by. >> we've got the daily mail now with a diversity hiring scheme in the police that broke the rules. >> louis. yeah >> louis. yeah >> police force first ever black. this is a police a police force because it's toronto, canada. just read the first ever black female superintendent is demoted over cheating scheme to help fellow minority cops get promoted. and this is in toronto. and she had she had the

test and supposedly she leaked the test, but she didn't leak the test, but she didn't leak the test. >> these are the tests that were given to the people applying for jobs. >> for jobs. they jobs. >> forjobs. they have jobs. >> for jobs. they have the questions of this test which would help them get a job. and she gave them to six black, other black people, which means i think there are white people in toronto. from what i have heard , there are a few and there heard, there are a few and there are probably a few. and she was scamming it for her black friends and she was punished by having her having her job title reduced by one grade one rank. she wasn't fired. she wasn't kicked out. even though it's totally humiliating. if you want totally humiliating. if you want to go for this job and have your bossis to go for this job and have your boss is like making it harder for you to get a job because you're white, that's not nice. >> i mean, this maybe hints at why so many, so many people are committing suicide when they don't get a fair crack and you know, but on the other hand, paul know, but on the other hand, paul, you've got to sort of feel some sympathy for her because she's had years of being told that there's systemic oppression and racism and structural racism in every institution. so she says she was acting out of desperation to counteract what

she called this anti—black , she called this anti—black, systemic racism. >> and i'll take her on good faith on that. and maybe she was. and, you know , cronyism, was. and, you know, cronyism, nepotism, it's all played its part in our careers and our time, you know, i mean, in general , in general. so, for general, in general. so, for instance, you recommended me to headliners two and a bit years ago. that was a recommendation that was purely on merit. >> paul. >> paul. >> yeah, it was and great stuff. but and i really appreciate that. and my mortgage is being paid so it's all great. there are there is a lot of identity politics about this stuff. if we've just got a minute that that it we've just got a minute that thatitis we've just got a minute that that it is frustrating though because it says, this is one commentator saying the community will be extremely disappointed and offended if superintendent stacy clarke, who was the lady involved, receives a disproportionate discipline for her actions, essentially because she was a black female. now, i would say that she's done well to just be demoted, and i don't think this is about her being a black female. this whole thing is all part of the soup that is,

identity politics is about what are you saying? >> it is he just. he just said. and it said the community would be upset. which community? the black female community of toronto. >> can you imagine if a white police, senior police officer was only allowing white people and feeding the white candidates the questions and answers and the questions and answers and the test? i mean, there would be uproar. it would be dragged through the streets . through the streets. >> such racism, it would be called racist. this is racist. you should be. she should be fired. yeah, i agree with that . fired. yeah, i agree with that. >> i agree with that. well, coming up, just the final section to go with an unusual sports illustrated model. i think we've got the pictures. plus we answer the important what is symbiote sexual should you wash your cheese? see you in

story. welcome back to headliners we've got the daily mail now with the exciting news that a new sexuality has been invented. i can't wait to add

this chevron to the pride flagpole. >> unbelievable. yeah, there's a new sexuality in town, leo. symbiote asexual. so people are attracted to the energy shared between couples . so this attracted to the energy shared between couples. so this is voyeurism. by the sound of it. >> this is why i wrote that myself. yeah. >> well done. it's not countdown , >> well done. it's not countdown, you know, so, so a new study from researchers at the seattle university argues that symbiote asexual people are attracted to the energy between established couples. so, for instance, if louis and i were an established couple. yeah, which some believe, and i wander in and you wander in, you might already be slightly aroused , obviously, but slightly aroused, obviously, but you may be more aroused by the connection that we have. and then, you know, a bit a bit of funky music. who knows what's going to happen. yeah, yeah . going to happen. yeah, yeah. >> hopefully nothing. >> hopefully nothing. >> what do you want to happen, louis? >> i don't know, i'm thinking about us. i think it's i mean, you are. you are fat and

disgusting , but i you are. you are fat and disgusting, but i am. >> but you're a hell of a lover. >> but you're a hell of a lover. >> there's a lot of. >> what's happening? >> what's happening? >> no, it's three way. is it ? >> no, it's three way. is it? it's just. it'sjust >> no, it's three way. is it? it's just. it's just creepy. >> three ways. it's that word , >> three ways. it's that word, three way ism. >> it'sjust three way ism. >> it's just you want. it's like somebody. two people are having sex. you want to watch. >> it's like porn and get involved. >> they talk about a unicorn here, which is. i thought it was a horse with a, like a sort of horn. yeah, but apparently it's a bisexual woman who's willing to enter into a relationship with a heterosexual couple. so that's a symbiote sexual relationship with just the man asking . yes. speaking from asking. yes. speaking from experience there, we've got the guardian now with a story about a women's sports star who doesn't have a penis. are we sure this is from the guardian? >> yes. >> yes. >> well, you know, you can't tell. nowadays. us rugby star ilona ilona mair hailed as quote unquote feminist trailblazer for a swim, swim, swim, swimsuit shoot. and this is this woman. she's an olympic star and

playing for us rugby, which is like, i don't want to say it's not a major sport in america. it's not like in new zealand, the olympics i didn't they well, they were in the olympics, but that doesn't make it a major sport. and so she , she was in sport. and so she, she was in sports illustrated in the swimsuit thing, which doesn't exist as a magazine anymore. it's just online. so what happens online stays online. >> no one ever sees that that i mean, she looks she looks great, but i guess she doesn't have the sort of traditional, you know , sort of traditional, you know, waif like bikini body. she is a i don't know , we don't have an i don't know, we don't have an image, i suppose. >> but i had a look, i had look. >> we all we all had a look. leo. that was that was what that ten minutes. >> i mean, she i found her very i found her very attractive. >> but then again, i'm at the age. i'm at the age. everybody looks good. no she looks amazing. >> she's amazing. >> she's amazing. >> that's what i was going to say . let's have this straight. say. let's have this straight. they're making this sound like her presence on the cover symbolises a shift in the narrative for sports illustrated. no it doesn't. this is a beautiful woman , is a beautiful woman, semi—naked, where heterosexual men can. and lesbian women, i

assume, can look at that and think. that's rather nice. >> yeah. and i wonder if she's actually a bit offended that the guardian are saying this is some sort of feminist, paradigm that's been broken because, you know, i think if the guardian are calling you brave and inspiring , are calling you brave and inspiring, you're going to be like, what am i? am i fat? >> am i yeah. >> am i yeah. >> am i disgusting with the guardian? are saying i'm beautiful. i must be horrific. and she's not she's, she's she's actually very attractive. >> but i mean i did i did a little research. she was she's five foot ten so she's my height. she's not as tall as you. whatever, what's not me? i'm leo, but she weighs £200, and it looks like all muscle and men don't find a girl with muscle because they they can fight back. i think that we've got the daily mail now with a story about women's haircuts. >> paul, here we do. why do men panic when their wives decide to cut their hair? leo well, this is one of these pieces that's kind of written like in this observational third person

sense. so that makes sense of what i'm about to say. so every time i announce i am off to the hairdresser, he flinches by he she means her husband, not because he's concerned about the cost, but because he's terrified of change in particular, change in the length of my hair. and i think this is true, particularly of heterosexual men, i don't know if this is just because iconically a beautiful women do have long hair, and it's the way, you know, i find short hair looks bad. >> let's just let's squeeze in this , this story about the this, this story about the cheese. and. yeah, because that story is just summed up by short hair looks quite bad on women. we've got the daily mail again. and should you wash your cheese before you eat it? i mean, i guess it depends what you've been doing with it. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> well, this is interesting. why some experts are calling for you to wash cheese before eating it. and it's not all kinds of cheese, it's just the cheese that's ground cheese. and in order when they have ground shredded cheese or whatever, it's called shredded cheese, they they , they sprinkle wood they they, they sprinkle wood chips on it. >> and not quite true, they use cellulose, which is derived from wood chips, which is derived from wood chips.

>> but the truth is fibre is wood chips. it's non—digestible. you don't need fibre. i do not eat fibre because i don't eat plants. plants are dangerous. >> so do you wash your shredded cheese before you use it? >> do you want something? i don't, and maybe i should. >> okay. i mean, does this make you concerned about shredded cheese? >> no, i'm. i'm in favour of all cheese, as we can tell. yeah, it just seems odd. doesn't it? slightly. i mean, if you wandered into the kitchen at your mum's house or something and she was washing the cheese over the draining board strand, you would say, it's time, mum. we're going to get you one of them tests. yeah, but you're just like joe biden, mum. >> yeah, but i had a i had a roommate who was from japan, and he used to wash his rice. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> no, i washed, i wash rice to wash. >> you wash rice. it's it could be the same kind of . be the same kind of. >> so it doesn't go sticky. anyway, the show is nearly over. i'm glad we ended. >> it is over. »- >> it is over. >> so let's take another quick look at friday's front pages. the telegraph has workers to get right to demand for day week. the express leads with has sir

keir starmer sounded the death knell of our pubs? the daily mail has outrage as starmer removes maggie's portrait. the guardian has. starmer risks clash with pub firms over over plan for outdoor smoking ban the mirror has terror swoop saved thousands. that's the taylor swift terror attack that was foiled. and finally, the daily star has free at last shellshocked lioness caged in war torn ukraine, is rescued and brought to safety of uk. they could have dropped it on the front line and those were your front line and those were your front pages and that's all we have time for. thank you to my guest, paul cox and lewis schaffer. andrew doyle will be here tomorrow at 11 pm. with christina witt and jonathan colgan. and if you're watching it, 5 am, stay tuned for breakfast. goodbye >> that warm feeling inside from boxt boilers sponsors of weather on gb news. >> good evening. welcome to your latest gb news weather update brought to you from the met office friday. it's going to be a cool but sunny start to the

last day of the week and a settled day more widely across the uk as high pressure builds in from the south and west. that will boost low pressure out of the way . so after the rather the way. so after the rather unsettled day across parts of scotland, it will slowly turn dry as we head into friday. but still a few showers to come through this evening, particularly across the far north of scotland. the northern isles in particular, where there's a brisk westerly breeze. elsewhere, though, a settled and calm night to come. clear skies across the board , temperatures across the board, temperatures falling away lower than they did last night. we could be down to 3 or 4 degrees rurally many towns and cities in single figures. and as the sun comes up a little later, at the moment it will feel a little bit fresher. when you step out on friday morning, there could be some mist and fog around as well, particularly across parts of the west country . really in wales, west country. really in wales, some areas around the pennines as well could see some fog. first thing, a few showers still across the west of scotland, but it's particularly the northern areas of scotland where there's areas of scotland where there's a risk of some showers. there won't be as heavy as they will

have been today and they should ease as we head towards lunchtime and into the afternoon, as well as that, as high pressure becomes more dominant, bringing many of us a fine day and i think the best of the sunshine for most of us will be through the morning, but more cloud will develop into the afternoon, but it will still feel warm enough in the sunshine , feel warm enough in the sunshine, with light winds quite widely. a slightly warmer day than today to come tomorrow. highs of 24 or 25 degrees across south and eastern areas of england. temperatures in the high teens, low 20s quite widely elsewhere. now another fresh start to the day to come on saturday. and then we start to see a risk of some thundery downpours across the south throughout saturday lunchtime. there may just be a bit more cloud filling in, and i think very few of us will actually see these downpours, but there is a risk of some heavy showers across southern areas and that risk increases more across southern areas on sunday and then more widely into monday. but temperatures staying just above average, a brighter outlook with boxt solar sponsors of weather on

the prime minister is focusing on the big issues such as removing a portrait of margaret thatcher from downing street. >> plus, will starmer is smoking ban actually help the nhs? we'll be getting the thoughts of a top doctor on that. >> tory leadership contenders robert jenrick and james cleverly reveal what they'd do differently. >> it's the pop culture battle of the ages. oasis versus taylor swift as new polling points to who brits put on top. >> united by grief, prince harry makes a secret dash to the uk to attend a family funeral alongside the prince of wales. >> good morning. the