previously on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> whoo! yeah! oh! >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, mariah carey, alex adelman, and music from allison russell. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: hi, everybody. welcome. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. i appreciate that. i have to tell you, this is a night i've been waiting for this night for quite some time now. maybe not for why you think. tonight was hometown date night on "the golden bachelor." [ laughter ] tonight, bachelor gerry went home with all the women who have fallen for him and can't get up. [ laughter ] break out the compression socks! we're flying to minneapolis. [ laughter ] but this wasn't the usual hometown scenario where the guy gets grilled by the parents, because this is "the golden bachelor." >> it's hometowns week. i'm really excited about it, because family is very important to me. the last time i met a family of

someone that i was about to fall in love with, was in 1968. >> you ready? okay. i guess i'm a little nervous. meet mom and dad. [ laughter ] >> i can't tell you how disappointed i am. >> i'm 71. what the [ bleep ] does he expect? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: after that, they went to the olive garden. [ cheers and applause ] the breadsticks made it better. the texas rangers last night beat the arizona diamondbacks to win their first-ever world series after 62 years of baseball. they finally won. after the game, president biden called the texas rangers locker room and asked to speak to chuck norris. [ laughter ] the rangers beat arizona in five

games. but in arizona, kari lake is demanding an investigation and a recount, so we'll see. [ laughter ] senator ted cruz, who lives in texas, when it isn't too cold, claims to be a die-hard astros fan. [ laughter ] but that didn't stop him from jumping on the rangers bandwagon. he wrote, "hot diggity damn! congratulations to the world champion rangers, an awesome series which they won decisively." ted goes whichever way the wind blows. [ laughter ] unless it's a hurricane. then he goes to cancun. [ laughter and applause ] and yet he wasn't the most embarrassing republican of the day. donald trump's sons took the stand in the $250 million fraud case against their family business today. there they are, the stinkle-voss twins, rolling into the courthouse. [ laughter ] looking pretty cool. i havent seen a more likable set of brothers on trial since the menendez boys. [ laughter ] i don't know about you. it was quite a day. and say what you want about

these guys, the camera loves them. >> this is the defendant, don jr. he's here to show his father that he's a man who can ride the subway all by himself. he's accused of real estate fraud and hunting housecats without a license. this is also the defendant. eric. he claims his family is allowed to break the law because his daddy's name is on buildings. he's accused of real estate fraud and eating glue. what you are witnessing is real. the participants are not actors, they are actual idiots who have a case pending in a new york metropolitan area court. the people's court. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah. cousin greg and the other cousin greg. their father was not there to cheer his sons on. donald trump not showing up to watch his kids testify in a

fraud trial is the trump family version of not showing up for their school play. [ laughter ] don jr. went first today. and took a page from dad's book of gripes. >> before even having a day in court, i'm apparently guilty of fraud for relying on my accountants to do, wait for it -- accounting. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here's the thing. never wait for anyone who says "wait for it." [ laughter ] just leave immediately. "wait for it." nope, i'm not waiting for it. and go. [ laughter ] and then it was time to hear from tweedle even dumber. things got off to a slow start when they asked eric to raise his right hand. he couldn't figure it out for the life of him, and he tried. both don jr. and eric claim they couldn't remember much about any of this stuff. eric repeatedly said that he doesn't focus on the financial side of things because, and this was his real answer, "i pour concrete." he said that several times.

"i'm not a money guy, i'm a construction guy." he's a construction guy like the guy in the village people is a construction guy. [ laughter ] [ applause ] he owns a yellow hat. construction guy. but it was quite an outing in court for the wrong brothers. eric will be back on the stand tomorrow and then presumably dad will be up next. you may remember the last time the trump family got sued for a lot of money was for the grift known as trump university. but you know what they say, if at first you get sued and have to pay out $25 million for victims of your fake college, try, try again. he's planning to start another university called "the american academy." >> this institution will gather an entire universe of the highest quality covering the full spectrum of human knowledge and skills and make that material available to every american citizen online for free. using study groups, mentors, industry partnerships, and the

latest breakthrough in computing, this will be a truly top-tier education option for the people. it will be strictly nonpolitical, and there will be no wokeness or jihadism allowed. none of that's going to be allowed. >> jimmy: oh. [ laughter ] what if i want to minor in jihadism? any room for that? [ laughter ] you almost have to hand it to him, starting another fraudulent university in the middle of a fraud trial. it's ballsy. rarely do we get to see a pyramid scheme being built right in front of our eyes. [ laughter ] then we have congressman george santos, who will live to scam another day. the house yesterday rejected a resolution to expel santos for his 23 criminal indictments. 182 republicans and 31 democrats declined to kick him out. they're going to wait to see what the ethics committee has to say. santos celebrated his stay of execution by going out to a nice dinner and charging it to some old lady's credit card. [ laughter ] the decision is bittersweet

because on one hand, having a brazen liar in congress is not great for the country or for his district back in new york. but on the other hand, it's so good for our monologue. [ laughter ] it is solid gold. and i really want to thank everybody for keeping him around a little while longer. ahead of the vote yesterday, congressman santos, if that is his real name, gave a stirring speech in his own defense. >> from my government in assisting residents of new york being health hostage by hamas terrorists, to my contributions in the effort to close the migrant shelter at the creedmore facility in bellrose, being a champion for the merchant marine academy in king's point, and my resolve to clamp down on china's growing influence against american interests -- there is one thing consistent and unwavering, and that is the dedication to self-service. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like what, at the gas

station? [ laughter ] what does he mean, self-service? not only is he dishonest, he's not too bright. >> you know what, i'm not scared of the process. i will face the music, i will face the process. i've been doing it ten months. most of you guys know me. you just came up from new york. manu has been in my office. i don't run away from these questions, i don't run away from this process. >> jimmy: really? because it kind of seems like you do. >> why are you lying to your voters about your qualifications, your past? why did you lie to them? >> no comment. i did not have access to my phone, i have no clue. >> why won't you answer our questions? >> you will not resign? >> pardon me. >> do you feel like you're able to serve your people? >> i have no comment for you on that. i don't know what you're talking about, ma'am. >> why should you be able to vote in such a key election when you've been charged with all these crimes?

>> jimmy: he doesn't run from the questions, it's more of a fast walk from the questions. [ laughter ] it's the ol' santos shuffle! as they call it around those halls. [ laughter ] the other big story is a bombshell announcement from the american ornithological society. you know about this, guillermo? >> guillermo: no idea, no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is the group that's responsible for giving names to birds. yesterday, they announced they're going to rename any bird that's named after a person. because a lot of the historical figures some birds were named after turned out to be racists and they don't want any peli-kanyes flying around. [ laughter ] which by the way feels like a weird thing to announce. this feels like something they could have done and never told anyone about, and no one would have ever known or cared. the movement was supported by some progressive birding groups. these are real birding groups. the feminist bird club. the philly queer birders. and the anti-racist collective of avid birders. [ laughter ] who knew there was an anti-racist collective of avid birders?

how has fox news not done a month about this? [ laughter ] you're slipping, guys! we're going to have to bring back lou dobbs. [ applause ] another group responsible for this is called "bird names for birds." which is -- whoever came up with that name should win some kind of an award trophy for awards. [ laughter ] meanwhile, we're so focused on getting rid of the racist birds, what about the sexist ones? like the fluffy-backed tit-babbler? [ laughter ] or the andean cock of the rock? or boobies? [ laughter ] at least now we know why birds have been pooping on us this whole time. because we named them after racists. have you heard the new beatles song? the beatles released a new single today called "now and then." thanks to a.i., there's a lot of fear about a.i. but we're also entering a golden age of new music from dead musicians. i hear there's some new beethoven ready to drop. [ laughter ] the beatles have the most number one hits of any artist ever on

billboard's hot 100. and right behind them is our guest tonight, mariah carey. [ cheers and applause ] the beatles have 20 number one hits. mariah has 19 number one hits. i had an experience with mariah carey last night. a few years ago, my co-workers thought it would be fun to send rihanna into my bedroom in the middle of the night. to wake me up with loud music. then it became like a thing. britney spears did it, dua lipa, miley cyrus, my aunt chippy did it once for no reason. [ laughter ] and last night, another music superstar joined the pantheon of pop music performers who nearly gave me a heart attack. >> hey, so we're here at jimmy's house. the middle of the night. and we're going to wake him up because we got to let him know what time it is.

hi! excited! ♪ okay, we're right here at his bedroom door, and he's currently sleeping. ♪ ♪ >> jimmy? i don't mean to wake you up. >> what time is it? >> hit it! ♪ i don't want a lot for christmas ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i don't care about the presents underneath the christmas tree ♪

>> you like this and you know it! come on, we bathed together, this is the next step. ♪ all i want for christmas love ♪ >> you guys can go, too. [ applause ] something smells good. >> a t-shirt. >> oh, thank you. >> it's time. i've cracked through the ice, i've defrosted just for you. >> you're still coming tomorrow, right? >> i am. i am coming tomorrow. >> okay. >> get some sleep. >> i'll see you then. >> okay, bye. that's a woman's robe. molly, thank you so much. merry christmas! >> thank you guys for coming. maybe i'll see you tomorrow. you never know.

i don't know, we'll see how it goes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all i want for christmas is a man's robe. thank you, mariah. we've got a fun show for you tonight. comedian alex edelman is here. [ cheers and applause ] we have music from allison russell. and we'll be right back with mariah carey. so stick around!

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back. tonight, his one-man show "just for us" visits the mark taper forum here in l.a. from november 10th through the 26th. alex edelman is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, a talented and canadian singer and songwriter. her album is called "the returner." music from allison russell. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is one of the best-selling recording artists of all time. she is making a hard run at santa and you can see it all in the flesh on her "merry christmas one and all" tour. please welcome mariah carey. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

[ cheers and applause ] >> hi. >> jimmy: it's good to see you. >> good to see you. in the daytime. >> jimmy: yeah, i thought it was a dream. it was really very confusing, i have to say. >> so did everybody see? >> jimmy: yeah, they saw what happened, why. [ cheers and applause ] >> that was real. >> jimmy: it was very real, yeah. people ask me, hey, what time did that happen? i was like, i don't know, i have no idea what time it was. and i have little pieces of fake snow in every crevice of my body right now. [ laughter ] >> i was going to ask if somebody helped you with the snow. >> jimmy: the snow was still there when i left for work this morning. so hopefully a snow-blowing team went in there and cleaned it up. are you always up late? you're an insomniac, right? >> i'm a bit of an insomniac, yeah. >> jimmy: what do you do when you can't sleep? >> uh -- hm. various things. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: count the gold records

to drift off to bed. >> platinum, darling, platinum. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i'm sorry. i'm supposed to say diamond, darling, diamond. just kidding. >> jimmy: that's right, it's diamond now is the thing. >> diamonds. >> jimmy: you told me once a long time ago that you loved to make crank calls. >> yes. >> jimmy: do you ever do that in the middle of the night? >> i mean, it's never as -- like last night -- it was never quite that fun of a crank moment. but when i was little, i did that. when it wasn't, you know -- you could caller i.d., you could see everything, you know. how am i going to do it now? >> jimmy: that's true. although you're kind halfway to a prank when somebody's caller i.d. says "carey, mariah" on it. you probably have them on their heels to start with. >> i don't know. i got in trouble when i used to make prank calls. >> jimmy: by who? >> the police. >> jimmy: really? [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: the police? because every prank call you

make, they're always like, "the police are coming." it always made me laugh harder. i thought, the police are not coming for -- but they came for you? >> when i was a kid, like 11 years old with my friend, there had been these girls that were really mean to me when i was like, 6. and i never let it go, i couldn't let it die. and so me and my friend used to, every weekend, we would go stay at my mom's friend's house. and we would just crank call the same girls and their mom. [ laughter ] and so basically -- yeah, we just kept doing it. then one time we were on the phone, we were saying whatever we used to say. which was not appropriate for us to be saying at 11. but anyway. one of the girls or the mom goes, "mariah, we know it's you." and it was, like -- it was -- it wasn't good. >> jimmy: terror went through your body? >> terror, yes, complete and total terror. >> jimmy: then how did the police get involved? >> they had found out that it was me.

back then you didn't go through that many channels to find out -- that's how many times we crank called these people. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> it was a nuisance to them. >> jimmy: they knocked on your door? >> no, no, i didn't see the police. i was told that we had to give them $500 or something. because they had had the police trace the line. >> jimmy: wait a minute. you guys got -- jesus, you got shaken down for $500. [ laughter ] >> i don't know if we got shaken down. i never really looked back at it and tried to figure it out. >> jimmy: did your mom make you pay the $500? >> i didn't have $500. >> jimmy: yeah, right, yeah. >> no, no. i mean, but it wasn't -- she didn't really have $500 either, so it wasn't a good thing. don't mess with people. >> jimmy: they may have a warrant out for your arrest. >> i hope not. i'm hoping not. >> jimmy: did you see the beatles put out a song today? did you hear that? >> no. >> jimmy: you need to know about this, and i'll tell you why. you've got 19 number one hits. >> yes. >> jimmy: the beatles have 20

number one hits. they are number one. you are number two. obviously, you know, we're feeling like -- >> they're a group, though. you know, it's a group. >> jimmy: that's true, they only have five each. but although they do have individually a lot of -- >> you're not counting those, though. >> jimmy: no, i'm not counting those. but what i'm saying -- >> love those. we love the beatles. >> jimmy: now they might have another number one hit. >> i'm sure they do if they put out a single. >> jimmy: yeah. but -- >> in my mind, i'm not trying to compete with the beatles. >> jimmy: yeah, but i'm trying to get something going here. [ laughter ] >> okay. >> jimmy: maybe we can crank call paul mccartney or something, call ringo? >> no. >> jimmy: you've got 500 bucks, we can do it, no problem, right? [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> i'm here for it. i'm here for it. >> jimmy: and yet there must be -- i don't know what the record for this is. "all i want for christmas is you" is one of these songs that -- first of all, i feel like i should hate it, but i still love it. like, i never mind hearing it no

matter how many times i hear it. it's number one every single year now. december, the whole month of december, it's the number one song. year after year after year after year. [ cheers and applause ] it's kind of bananas. right? >> it is. because that's the first christmas song i ever wrote. and i never was like, oh, this is going to -- these type of results were going to happen. i just wanted it to sound like a classic, because that's the type of christmas song i wanted -- >> jimmy: it as classic. >> now. >> jimmy: now it is, yeah. >> but i didn't want it to be like, oh this sounds like this year, that year. i just wanted it to be kind of timeless. >> jimmy: have you ever walked into like a store or a waiting room or something and the song was playing? >> you know, i think i hear "all i want for christmas is you" way less than most people. >> jimmy: probably, yeah. >> in the world, because i'm never really out that much. >> jimmy: do your kids like the song?

>> i mean, i don't want to speak for them. but i -- i hope so. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. our kids don't even like us singing in the car, never mind, you know -- it's kind of -- it bothers them for some reason. >> really? i listen to them sing, i'm putting them on my tour which is coming up soon. >> jimmy: yes what are they going to do on your tour? >> they're going to do various moments of music-making and merriment. >> jimmy: will they be paid? >> they will be paid, yes. >> jimmy: did you have to go through their agent? >> they will be paid. that's really like a trick question. loki, that's very -- >> jimmy: i wondered. the kids -- do they get allowance for singing? >> we also do other things together where they get paid. i think it's important for them to save their money. >> jimmy: sure. >> so they're not calling me when they're older asking for money, like everybody else i know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that right? really? it's probably interesting. people probably -- relatives, old friends, they hear the song, they go, "she's making money

again." >> $500. now that we talked about that, i'm going to get calls from who knows. >> jimmy: you are going to get calls from people pretending to be the police. [ laughter ] this tour, the kids will be on the tour with you. >> yes. >> jimmy: which is fun. >> yeah. >> jimmy: they must love that. >> i think they do. they went to rehearsal today. they were at rehearsal before me. they were there. >> jimmy: will you have people joining you on stage, surprises and that kind of stuff? >> hopefully, i don't feel to stand there by myself. [ laughter ] i'm trying to figure out santa's role in all of this. >> jimmy: that's a good -- yeah, you've got to figure it out. it is his busy time. >> it's a real thing. we're talking about this, they're talking about -- >> jimmy: what about jesus? it is his birthday. [ laughter ] >> it is his birthday. >> jimmy: he gets written out of the whole script. >> no, not on my show. >> jimmy: no, okay, good. >> i have a lot of songs that are much more like hymns and stuff like that. >> jimmy: we have a birthday cake for jesus on christmas eve. >> do you? >> jimmy: yes. maybe that might be a fun thing to have. you can sing happy birthday to jesus with everyone. >> oh, jimmy. [ laughter ]

oh, jimmy. >> jimmy: you think i'm kidding but i'm not. [ laughter ] >> i think it's great for everybody to do what you like. eat cake, drink, dance, whatever. do whatever. >> jimmy: all right, all right. we're going to take a break. we'll come back with mariah carey. she's with us. [ cheers and applause ] she's got a new tour. "merry christmas one and all." she's got a new tour. "merry christmas one and all." we'll be right back. scription e the risk of hiv without daily prep pills. with one shot every other month, just 6 times a year. in studies, apretude was proven superior to a daily prep pill in reducing the risk of hiv. you must be hiv negative to receive apretude and get tested before each injection. if you think you were exposed to hiv or have flu-like symptoms, tell your doctor right away. apretude does not prevent other sexually transmitted infections. practice safer sex to reduce your risk. don't take apretude if you're allergic to it or taking certain medicines, as they may interact. tell your doctor if you've had liver problems or mental health concerns.

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hi, i'm todd. i'm a veteran of 23 years. i served three overseas tours. i love to give back to the community. i offer what i can when i can. i started noticing my memory was slipping. i saw a prevagen commercial and i did some research on it. i started taking prevagen about three years ago. i feel clearer in my thoughts, my memory has improved and generally just more on point. prevagen. at stores everywhere without a prescription. ♪ ♪

♪ it's time ♪ ♪ i don't want a lot for christmas ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: most of those people were in my house last night. [ cheers and applause ] mariah -- "it's time" is kind of the theme, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: it's time, it's christmastime now. >> yes. >> jimmy: but is it? [ laughter ] >> it's the season, darling. it's the season. >> jimmy: but what about thanksgiving? >> is it halloween? >> jimmy: no. >> we have to have thanksgiving. >> jimmy: we do have thanksgiving. >> it's the holidays, is it not? >> jimmy: i feel like thanksgiving -- >> like what's next? >> jimmy: thanksgiving is a speed bump now, it's nothing. >> i don't disagree with you, by the way. i had to go with the flow. everybody was rushing the holiday season and they started playing my song. i kept being, not yet, don't play it yet, it's not time yet, why are we playing christmas songs? but they were doing it.

so then i was just like, okay. it became -- it was a joke, just for laughs. >> jimmy: you can't really control that? >> i can't control that, no. i started making this "it's time" video. last year i was a witch. this year i froze myself, because clearly i'm frozen already. [ laughter ] and, you know, then i decided, why not? people keep freezing me online. >> jimmy: are you thinking about what you're going to do already for next year? >> i don't know. because this one's done pretty well. so i'm kind of like. >> jimmy: you have to keep upping the ante on these, it's a lot. >> yeah, but i just -- originally we started just on my iphone. it was me falling asleep, 1 12:59 -- 11:59, sorry. i'm not very good with time. [ laughter ] i don't really accept time. i don't embrace it. >> jimmy: we noticed that, yeah. yeah. [ laughter ] it was nice, though, i have to say. [ cheers and applause ] >> wait, he said "we noticed that." and everybody clapped. like you guys know? >> jimmy: we got to meet louise

and jorge and tammy. we heard about grover, this guy who, i mean, he really -- it was -- let's just say we got to know each other. >> oh, i'm sorry. >> jimmy: you don't have to apologize, and i'll tell you why. because we know you're going to be late. [ laughter ] like, when you -- >> when i was in the bathtub on this show, which i will always remember -- >> jimmy: yes. >> i wasn't late for that. >> jimmy: i think you were. >> i was? >> jimmy: yeah, you were real late. [ laughter ] >> oh. are you guys mad? >> jimmy: no, they're not mad. >> i was stuck in l.a. traffic. >> jimmy: i would be disappointed if you were on time. >> is it part of my thing now? >> jimmy: yes, it's your essence. it's like it's part of you. it's part of the -- you know, the drama, waiting for -- like when i said, mariah's a little late, everyone laughed, like, okay she is. >> it's time. >> jimmy: it's like if snoop

showed up here and there was no pot smoke. [ laughter ] >> i hear you. >> jimmy: yeah. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so ironically, "it's time" is your thing. >> ironically. and it is, that i'm here with you for this period of time. >> jimmy: britney spears wrote about you in her book, did you know that? >> i heard something about it. >> jimmy: you want to know what she wrote? >> yes. >> jimmy: don't worry, it's good, it's not bad. >> i love her, actually. >> jimmy: she loves you. "at one awards show i knocked on mariah carey's dressing room door. she opened up and out poured the most beautiful otherworldly light. more than 20 years ago, only mariah carey knew about ring lights. no, i can't just say her first name, to me she's always going to be mariah carey." that's what britney spears said. is that true about the ring lights? you had one in 2003? >> of course i had a ring light. [ laughter ] by the way, i wasn't like, i love a ring light. i love the ring light when you cover the bottom edge of the ring light. for me i don't like

underlighting. it's very specific. by the way, that was super sweet what britney said about me. >> jimmy: she said you taught her everything about lighting. now you're teaching me about lighting also. >> i can't help it. it's like time. light, time, these concepts. i don't know if i love them, i hate them. i don't know. >> jimmy: what do you think about the lighting in this room? >> i like the area with the chandelier, that's nice. >> jimmy: uh-huh? i never noticed that. >> it's warm, darling. it's a warm light. >> jimmy: it does have warmth. >> it has warmth. >> jimmy: cleto is glowing beneath it, yes. [ laughter ] >> very, very nice. >> jimmy: that's it? >> what, what else? >> jimmy: i don't know. >> i like recessed lighting. so this around here, the recessed lighting, very nice. >> jimmy: what do you think of the lighting on guillermo's face over there? >> i'm not going to look that way because it's my bad side. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: what about when you go to the dmv to get your driver's license photo? >> i don't do that. i haven't done that in a really long time. >> jimmy: do you have a driver's

license? >> no. >> jimmy: you don't? >> no. but i can drive. >> jimmy: no, you can't. [ laughter ] >> i can if there's an adult over the age of 20. >> jimmy: you have a lerner's permit? >> i don't have a new lerner's permit. i had one. >> jimmy: oh, man. >> when i first applied. >> jimmy: you know you're a big star when you don't even have to have a driver's license. >> well, why do you have to have it? i mean, like -- >> jimmy: i guess you don't. [ laughter ] >> i guess you don't. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. when you go on tour, someone will drive you, right? you won't -- >> i'm not going to hitchhike, no. [ laughter ] someone's going to drive me. >> jimmy: the "merry christmas one and all" tour starring mariah carey. tickets are on sale now. tawn so much for being here. [ cheers and applause ] mariah carey, everybody. we'll be back with alex edelman! i told myself i was ok with my moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis symptoms. with my psoriatic arthritis symptoms.

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: music from allison russell is on the way. "the washington post" called my next guest the top of mind of any generation. that's good for us.

please welcome alex edelman! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ wow, oh wow. that's old-school there, huh? >> listen, i was planning on wearing this shirt months ago, so -- >> jimmy: did you meet mariah? >> i did. i just said to her -- first of all, i'm the biggest fan, it's crazy. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> and i said to her, "you know, we need a chanukah song from you." [ laughter ] "the jews, we've had such a rough month, we need a chanukah song." >> jimmy: maybe she could record that. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: something special. >> although the beatles have 20 hits. and one of our guests has the next most. for a second i was like, wait, is it me? [ laughter ] dy forget that i recorded 19 number one singles?

>> jimmy: eventually, give it some time. we met at a very special night, norman lear's 100th birthday. >> yeah. >> jimmy: which you were the host. you did a fantastic job. it was a terrible -- it was like the kind of nightmare comedy situation, right? >> yeah, it's basically all of your heroes and none of them know who you are. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> and you're hosting and all of them are like, why aren't i hosting? [ laughter ] i asked why. i asked rm i was -- by the way, it's like the greatest comedians, rob reiner, jimmy's there, tom hanks is there, it was my make a wish, truly. performing in front of all my heroes. i asked norman, why am i doing this? he's like, "oh, because you're so wrong for it that no one would get offended that you're doing it." [ laughter ] rob reiner, tom hanks, why not me? you pick tom hanks, why not me? for me, i was so obviously not correct for the gig they were like, it's nice they're giving the youtube comedian a chance,

it's good of them. >> jimmy: you did a really great job. tell me about your show. first of all, people who have seen it -- i haven't had the opportunity to see it yet. i'd love to come see it while you're here in l.a. i hear it's unbelievably great. >> it's really -- it's a show -- i'm a jew. depends who's asking. i am a jew. and i went to this meeting of white nationalists in queens. and i did a show. and marjorie taylor greene calls the show "the feel-good hit of the summer," obviously. >> jimmy: when you went to this -- it was like a comedy of errors that led you to this meeting? >> yeah. >> jimmy: of white nationalists? >> i went to this meeting, and i wrote a show about it. we went up in new york in december of 2021. we ran for a long time. and now we're going on tour. we're coming to the taper in l.a. for a couple of weeks. >> jimmy: do the white nationalists come to see you, invite them to see the show? >> i lost track of them. i thought i saw one of them in union square at the farmers' market but it wasn't going to walk up to the stranger, "do i

know you from a meeting of neo-nazis in queens?" >> jimmy: you have a preshow ritual that is unusual. you brought a video. >> colin quinn is another fabulous comedian. >> jimmy: great comic, yes. >> he worked with this crew that i worked with. he had this ritual where he would do this thing, shoot baskets before the show on a little basketball hoop. and i got really into it because they were, like, colin did this. it was very meditative before the show. i found myself shooting these baskets. but when we moved to broadway and the theater got bigger, i found myself sort of taking it to the extreme a little bit. >> jimmy: okay, all right. so you got a basketball, a little basketball. >> oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: pretty strong. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're a lefty, huh? >> i am a lefty. i am a lefty. by the way, that is a -- that's a legitimate shot. but i had a couple of -- i lost

my voice, and they put me on steroids for some of the shows. and so there were some shows where i was like hitting those shots four or five times in a row while i was on steroids and i was like, "barry bonds should not be in the hall of fame." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you just shot a special for hbo, right? >> yeah, yeah. this is i guess the first time i'm telling anyone. we shot the show for hbo, and it's coming out sometime next year. >> jimmy: where did you shoot the show? >> we shot on it broadway. billy crystal came to our taping, which is -- he was the first comedy show, first solo show i ever saw, "700 sundays." my show's pretty youy, so sometimes birbiglia calls it "700 saturdays." >> jimmy: you went to go see him in that show? >> i was in boston. i was a teenager, 15 or 16 years old. i went to go see him at the opera house. it was one of the best things i'd ever seen. it just like blew my mind. so such a full-circle moment to have him -- >> jimmy: did he come back afterwards? >> he did.

he had notes, actually. >> jimmy: did he have notes for you? >> yeah he had notes. >> jimmy: did you want notes, or did you just want to be told it was great? >> i love -- i love notes. >> jimmy: oh. >> if you come see the show, what do you think? you're going to be like, it's fine. no, no, tell me, give me constructive criticism. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. i would never do that, though. i don't feel like people actually want notes. but even when you saw you want it, i feel people don't want notes. >> no, i want notes so badly. like when steve martin came to the show, i got him to give me a couple of jokes. if anyone asks, my show is cowritten with steve martin. >> jimmy: that's big. >> yeah, yeah. it's huge. >> jimmy: okay. well, so you got a lot going on here, really. you're going to be living here in l.a. you think you'll be comfortable here? >> i'll be living here in l.a., i'll be doing the show here. i'm between here and new york. >> jimmy: are you dating right now? >> um -- i'm not -- they say that -- i'm not dating anyone, but they say you find someone when you're not looking. so if anyone out there -- i'm not looking, okay? [ laughter ] if anyone out there knows anybody, i am definitely not looking.

but no, i've dated one of the people. i'm actually dating mariah now. >> jimmy: oh, that would be great. >> yeah. i showed her the basketball shot, and she was like, fantastic. now we're totally locked in. i dated a single mother for -- i date a single mother for a few years, which is wonderful. i got two ladies to be mean to me for the price of one, which is really fantastic. she had a 10-year-old daughter. >> jimmy: oh, i see. >> yeah, it was really -- it was amazing, i highly recommend dating a single mother. and the kid was the cleverest, meanest, like i was making her pancakes one day, "violet, do you know what the secret ingredient is?" she's like, "the last guy's was cinnamon." [ laughter ] i'm like, oh my god. oh my god. "well, mine's tears." but yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, that's a weird relationship you had there for

sure. [ laughter ] >> yeah, i know, sorry. >> jimmy: "just for us" is the name of the show, at the mark taper forum here in l.a. november 10th through the 26th. alex ed dallman. thank you, alex will be be right back with allison russell!

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>> jimmy: thanks to mariah carey and alex edelman. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next. but first, her album "the returner" is out now. here with the title track, with help from wendy and lisa, allison russell! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ now i let go everything that i've known let it go on let it roll out with the tide ♪ ♪ i can't think of a thing that hasn't been shot through with pain ♪ ♪ ike a nightingale's song in the dead of the night ♪

♪ goodbye so long farewell all i've been ♪ ♪ ooh oblivion throw me in the ocean ooh see if i can swim ♪ ♪ i'm wild again i'm a starchild again i've come ten million miles ooh i'm burning ♪ ♪ i'm a summer dream i'm a real light beam i'm worthy ♪ ♪ of all the goodness and the love that the world's gonna give to me ♪ ♪ i'ma give it back ten times people are you ready ♪ ♪ if you think you're alone hold on i'm coming ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ now i unfold every lie i was told watch 'em wither watch them scatter with the wind ♪ ♪ i can't think of a thing that hasn't been born of a dream ♪ ♪ like a love supreme

like a circle unbroken ♪ ♪ goodbye so long farewell all i've been ♪ ♪ ooh oblivion throw me in the ocean ooh mama watch me swim ♪ ♪ i'm wild again i'm a starchild again i've come ten million miles ooh i'm burning ♪ ♪ i'm a summer dream i'm a real light beam i'm worthy you're worthy ♪ ♪ of all the goodness and the love that the world's gonna give to me ♪ ♪ i'ma give it back ten times people are you ready if you think you're alone hold on i'm coming ♪

♪ don't you know you are never alone ♪ ♪ this is "nightline." >> byron: tonight, out of gaza. 74 more americans and hundreds of others given the green light to leave. their hellish ordeal. what they say about those still there. and in her own words. britney spears shooting to fame as a teenager with her hit -- ♪ hit me baby one more time ♪ >> britney was immediately a star. >> byron: opening up about some of her biggest heartbreaks in her new memoir "the woman in me."

>> s