many people who are unhoused tell me they don't think city hall is doing enough to help them. >> many downtown retailers have already said enough is enough. they've closed shop and they've left. >> do you ever wonder what could help fix the fentanyl crisis in san francisco? the mayor, the da, the chief of police, one hour of direct questions about the city's biggest issues and the future of san francisco. >> take action. san francisco real answers for a better bay area now streaming previously on "jimmy kimmel live!" -- >> hello, sir. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- ray romano -- sebastian maniscalco -- and music from paul russell -- with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel

♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody. hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us here in hollywood. we are like exactly three weeks from christmas today. four nights into the elf on the shelf if you're the parent of young kids. last night once again, we got into bed, we just start drifting off to sleep and my wife goes oh, we forgot to move the elf. downstairs i went to find a new shelf for the evitable, which i'm not sure our kids even buy anymore. my son billy is 6, and the other night he muttered something about it being us moving the elf. why do you think it's me and mom that move it.

without even looking up, he said, "because it is." and yet still i'm running downstairs in my underwear at midnight to move that thing. it's very easy to forget the elf. so as a reminder and as a service to all the moms and dads out there who are doing this, here is an idea for your elf tonight. it's almost midnight. hopefully the kids are asleep. go get the elf, put him in the medicine cabinet and let him go to town on the latuda or whatever you have in there. last night taylor swift was in green bay. here she is walking into the stadium, all decked out in red with brittany mahomes, the wife of patrick. and here she is leaving the game after the chiefs >> you're always saying hi. >> jimmy: it's the first time chiefs have lost with taylor in

attendance. i have to say, it wasn't a great performance for swift. her applause was disorganized, especially in the third down situation. she had a tough time cheering against the more experienced packers fans. she still is a rookie. a lot to learn. whenever swift is in a town it's a big deal. the local nbc station in green bay even had a reporter at the airport. >> jimmy: exactly. >> taylor has slipped a way as the two vehicles that brought her to lambeau field drove by us 20 minutes ago. and roughly 10 or 15 minutes ago, we did see her jet taxi right by us, and we also got to meet some young swifties, coming here just to see taylor. >> you know, they're on the plane. so in a way it's sort of like you've seen them, but you haven't. >> jimmy: yeah, i mean, not sort of so much as exactly. thanks for driving us here in 14 degrees, dad. speaking of cheese heads,

donald trump was up very late last night, thumbing out a rebuttal in a story to the new book by former congresswoman liz cheney. at 12:56 am, he posted, "crazy liz cheney, who suffers from trump derangement syndrome at a level rarely seen before, writes in her boring new book that kev-en mccarthy said he came to mar-a-lago after the rigged election because, "the former president was depressed and not eating." "that statement is not true. i was not depressed, i was angry, and it was not that i was not eating, it was that i was eating too much." that's why they send kevin in. for once, i believe something he's saying. why would he even mention this? i guess he can't resist. whatever someone says he did he says the opposite. he can't help it. call him unstable. call him dumb. he says i'm a stable genius. mention his crowd was small, he says it was the biggest in history. say he wasn't eating, he says he was eating too much. for no reason!

i would like to have some fun with this and see what we can get them to contradict. like i say trump looks terrible in women's shoes. and he's no one looks better than trump in women's shoes. when i wear pumps, people come up to me with tears in their eyes, sir, we've never seen calves as sexy as yours. and he went on. "but that's not why keven mccarthy was there. he was at mar-a-lago to get my support, and to bring the republican party together. only good intentions." okay, well, in that case, file that under "wasted trip." trump misspelled "kevin" twice. the guy who is constantly questioning biden's mental sharpness cannot spell not only one of the most common names in the world, also the name of his co-star in "home alone 2." his favorite son. trump was in cedar rapids on

saturday where he floated -- it has to be one of his most nonsensical election notions yet. >> in 2016 we ran the whole east coast of the country, and that made up for california, which i actually believe that if they didn't have rigged elections out there, if they didn't have all the paper. you know, they send out like 36 million ballots, and nobody knows where the hell they're going to or coming from. but i think if you had a real election, and jesus came down and god came down and said i'm going to be the score keeper here, i think we'd win there. i think we'd win in illinois, and i think we'd win in new york. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. first of all, if jesus comes down, you're going straight to hell. that's number one no white house, no jail, hell. jesus is like you're out. and number two -- you have about as much chance of winning california and new york as you do of winning an ice dancing medal at the olympics. zero. these rallies of his have become like professional wrestling. even fox news had to break in

this weekend to announce that what he was saying wasn't true. every rally now he complains about the stolen election, he says windmills are killing whales, he calls chris christie a fat pig. and then closes with his signature female weightlifter routine. >> he got the parents, the sister, everyone is so proud, this young girl, she is a weight lifter. she is a champion. they have a quarter ounce, quarter ounce. mom, i'm going make you so proud. and then she gets down. agh! agh! ah. ah, eh. >> aghh! >> ah! >> ah!

>> ah! >> ah! >> yeh! >> jimmy: oh, melania is a lucky lady, isn't she? any way, hand me those nuclear codes again, will ya? and a scoop of that metamucil. while you're at it. when jesus does come back he's going to impressed by trump's commitment to christmas. the orange messiah has a lot of stuff for sale, including wrapping paper, from his "never surrender" christmas collection. featuring a mugshot photo ironically taken moments after he did surrender, for the tree. you can get a 3d replica of mar-a-lago. you can buy a mini faux gold trump hotel. you can get a cody foster-designed blown glass donald trump head, a hand-made trump christmas stocking full of slovenian sudafed. there is a donald trump elf on the shelf. don't worry kids if you do anything bad, he's done worse. and finally the greatest donald

trump gift of all. >> introducing the one and only original and newly redesigned trumpy bear. trumpy bear's thumbs-up lets everyone know he will always be there for you. just find the secret zipper and pull out the american flag-themed blanket and show your patriotism by proudly displaying trumpy bear in your home. >> jimmy: what comes out of the secret zipper? you know, if you buy two trumpy bears you get his son, cocaine bear for free. but we are going to need something lovable to hang on to, because george santos is officially a former congressman. on friday, santos was expelled. [ cheering ] by a vote of 311 to 114. so back to stealing puppies from the amish i guess, i don't know. the house maintenance crew wasted no time, changing the

locks to his office. how funny would bit if they opened that door today and 100 purses came tumbling out. and while it is confusing as to why they'd have to change the locks. apparently, even though he's been expelled, legally, he still has access to the house floor, the dining room, the cloakroom and the gym, which that won't be awkward at all. you vote him out and you still have to shower with him? george santos is basically an ex who still has the key to your apartment. and here is an interesting factoid. you remember that congressman joe wilson from south carolina? the one who shouted "you lie" at president obama during the state of the union address? well, he voted not to expel george santos. i guess his position on lying has evolved. in the 234 years of the house of representatives - george santos is only the sixth member ever to be expelled. the last congressman to get kicked out was a democrat. james traficant from ohio back in 2002.

>> i want you to disregard all the opposing counsel has said. i think they're delusionary. i think they've had something funny for lunch in their meal. i think they should be handcuffed to a chain-link fence, flogged, and all of their hearsay evidence should be thrown out. and if they lie again, i'm going to go over and kick them in the crotch. thank you very much. >> jimmy: so santos is in very good company. how long before he's on a reality show? "big brother" and "the masked singer" are gonna be fighting over this guy like nike and adidas trying to sign michael jordan. but for now at least he is out of a job, and we had to fire two of our writers. they have nothing do to do now. we have honestly grown quite fond of george santos' shenanigans, and he will be missed. he will be missed but he will not ever be forgotten. ♪ i will remember you ♪ >> you're accused of fabricating every single part of your life.

♪ will you remember me ♪ >> george santos, i'm just a regular person, pierce. ♪ don't let your life pass you by ♪ >> i'm not a fraud. i'm not a fake. ♪ leave not the memories ♪ >> rosa parks didn't sit in the back, and neither am i going to sit in the back. >> i'm going give the fashion review of the new lunar suit. >> today i rise to honor the beginning of i don't mean hat -- israel's independence day. >> you're not jewish. >> well, i never said i am. guys, i'm jew-ish. i'm jew-ish. >> i went to school on the a volleyball scholarship. >> i put myself through school hi, see george santos, also anthony devolder, and at least once a drag queen named kitara ravage. >> were you ever a drag queen in

brazil? >> i was not a drag queen. i was young and i had fun at a festival. ♪ i will remember you ♪ >> let's go mets! ♪ will you remember me ♪ >> ow, guys, you got to relax. ♪ don't let your love pass you by ♪ >> since i've gotten here, i can chew and walk gum at the same time. i can chew gum and walk at the same time. >>. ♪ the memories ♪ ♪ leave not for the memories ♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> jimmy: i feel like we haven't seen the last of him. all right. we've got a great show for you tonight. sebastian maniscalco is here. we have music from paul russell. and we'll be right back with ray romano. so stick around. [ cheering and applause ] ♪

abc's "jimmy kimmel live!" brought to you by america's best contacts and eyeglasses.

♪ >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back to the show. tonight a very funny man, his new show on max is called "bookie" sebastian maniscalco is with us.

then later, from atlanta, he has a big viral hit called , "lil boo thang" which was also my wife calls me, by the way. music from paul russell. [ cheering ] >> jimmy: and you'll be hearing me say the words little boo they think a couple more times before the night is over. we have new shows. let's see. this week, we've got new shows with adam levine, bill burr, mahershala ali, lily gladstone, greta lee and halle bailey. with music from grupo frontera, joshua ray walker and atarashii gakko. did i get that right, toshi? >> no, okay, great. >> jimmy: are you listening to music in those head phones? you like that, huh? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's right. for once it's not you. >> guillermo: thank god!

>> jimmy: our first guest tonight is beloved by all and has a peabody award to prove it. his new movie marks his directing debut it's called "somewhere in queens" and can be seen on hulu now please welcome ray romano. [ cheering and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? very good to see you. >> hey, thank you. wow, wow, wow. >> jimmy: so talented. i feel like people don't even know. they don't appreciate the depths of how much talent you have. >> i wish my -- i wish my wife watched your show. >> jimmy: how you? i know you're in vegas this weekend. >> i just worked in vegas. i love working there. >> jimmy: the mirage? >> i was. good fun. >> jimmy: clean fun?

what's your idea of fun in vegas? >> you know, the museum. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: which one? >> we went to the zoo. there is none, right? i forget you're from there. >> jimmy: i am from there. they kind of. they have animals in some of the casinos, but no zoo. >> you know, i always feel sorry. here is the thing about a zoo. do you think when that -- when that stupid kid falls in the gorilla pit, the gorillas are going we're going get shot in the head now, aren't we? this little [ bleep ]. i got a laser. >> jimmy: yes, i do think that. you know, i think this is the first time you've been here since your little [ bleep ] son -- i should say, no. is actually very, very nice kid matt worked here for many years. >> yes. thank you very much. >> jimmy: he was beloved by everyone. he is really a good kid. >> you were very kind to my son.

he worked here for a number of years. and he has moved on a little. >> jimmy: yeah? >> he's actually getting married. he's getting married in april. >> jimmy: he is? wow. >> first one. >> jimmy: wow. >> first one, yeah. >> jimmy: i didn't know that. >> i never thought it would happen. well, i mean, i shouldn't say that. but, you know, even here there is a picture of him. can we show that picture of when he worked here? look at that. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, there he is. >> how was that kid going to get married? how? i don't know. look how hard you tried to keep him a virgin. and somehow, somehow -- what are you doing? what is that thing? >> it was the character for hanukkah. i don't know how matt wound up in the costume. that's my son billy and your son. >> jimmy: there is a woman marrying that kid there. does she know she is marrying a

furry? >> i don't think she's seen that. >> jimmy: you might want to run that by her. have all your kids moved out? or are any still home? >> i have one left. but it's a big house. so we don't see him a lot, yeah. >> jimmy: is that true? >> well, he sleeps until 12:30 in the afternoon. you know. >> jimmy: do you and your wife anna, have you now rekindled your days of prechildren, your romantic time together, a renaissance, if you will? >> no, no. how long are you married for? >> jimmy: i'm married for ten years. >> okay. i'm not even going to tell you how long i'm married. >> jimmy: okay. >> here's what i'll do. i'll tell you what happens now. >> jimmy: okay. >> and you can guess. you're from vegas. we'll do the over/under. i'll tell you what. here is one thing. here is an example.

she said this to me the other day. i'm quoting my wife. she just looked at me and said, "you don't talk a lot, but when you do, it's too much." [ laughter ] word for word, word for word. here is another one. here is a better example. a better example. the other day i woke up. i went in the bathroom, and my wife's brushing her teeth, and i walk in, and she turns to me and goes, "another thing that pisses me off." it's already on. i don't know what happened. >> jimmy: have you hit the time where you maybe have separate beds or maybe even separate bedrooms? >> we don't. i've brought it up. [ laughter ] well, only because -- listen, listen, my wife is the greatest. she has put up with me and the boys, and she is the greatest. but i annoy her. i sleep with a flashlight.

because she likes to go to bed, i like to read. i have to tell you this story, okay. you're not as old as me. but we're both. >> jimmy: close. >> we're both getting up there. i don't know if this is an old thing or what, okay. i don't know what it is, but i sleep with a little flashlight. it's this big and it's got a strap. i love it. i read. but the other -- a couple of weeks ago, so i fall asleep reading. i wake up, i can't find it. okay. so i'm like a crazy man, i'm in my underwear running around. i'm obsessed now. i got to find this. and she gets mad at me, my wife. she says let it go. i can't let it go. my agent calls, i start telling him about it. yes. here's what i found out. when you make somebody a lot of money, they have to listen to your disappearing question. he's got to pretend. he is pretending he is into it. "did you check the pillowcase?"

? of course i checked the billow case. and then i stop. hanging out of the underwear is the strap. listen to me. i don't know if you're forgetting the part of the story. for 20 minutes, i didn't know. i'm freaking out. what kind of old mannum ball disease do i have. [ laughter ] and she's -- no, but listen. am i wrong to be weirded out by it? >> jimmy: yes, you should be troubled by this, yeah. definitely. >> she is mad at me. i'll give you this. i'll give you this, guys. i'll bet there is -- you could take your pants off at night. i bet there is things you could find in your underwear and be able to shrug it off. like oh, a nickel. hey, i had a nickel. okay, that. or a cheerio. how did a cheerio get in my thing? but a flashlight.

a flashlight. >> jimmy: not far from a rake, really. >> here is the thing. what if i gave up? what if i got dressed for the day. i remember that day. i was flying to new york. that would have been a fun airport security experience. right? that would have been the guy on his laptop you got a weapon in your underwear? i would have been a weapon? i don't know. i don't know. [ applause ] i'm not making this up. i know you got to come across with some comedy. i swear to you -- >> jimmy: i believe you. >> -- this is the truth. and it scared the hell out of me. here's what scares me the most. >> jimmy: go ahead. >> here is the worst thing about it. because now it's just another place i have to look.

[ laughter ] you know? like if you can't find your keys one day. what? oh. >> jimmy: you -- i do want to talk about your movie. >> go ahead. thank you. >> my wife and i watched it last night, and we absolutely loved it. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it is an excellent movie. you wrote it. you directed it. you're starring in it. did you do anything else? productioned it i guess? whatever need to be done, you did it. you shot it in your hometown in queens. >> queens. >> jimmy: what is that like to now go back to your neighborhood with the big film crew? >> it's fun, but it was a little scary because i have a lot of friends and a lot of relatives there. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yes. i was nervous as hell because i'm directing my first movie. and i know they will all wanted to swarm the set. but, listen, there was nothing good about covid except for this. they weren't allowed. they weren't allowed.

my relatives weren't allowed. the only way i got around it, because my wife wanted to be my manager. the only way around it is i had to put them in it and they got to be on the set. in the background of every scene, oh, that's my cousin, that's this guy, but it was fun, man. it was scary but fun. >> jimmy: oh, it came out so good. we're going see a clip from it when we come back. ray romano is here. the movie is called "somewhere in queens." you can see it on hulu. we'll be right back. ♪ >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live!" are brought to you by target. join target circle by december 28th and be entered for a chance to earn $500 in target circle earnings. by rosemarie ]his”

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come on. come on. sit down. i dent want cake. give that to him. that's got the cherry stuff in the middle. >> leo. >> come on. that's your favorite right there. come on. you love that. >> what? >> you go to a girl's house? >> no. i just said -- no. i told you that. >> i know what you told us. i also know when you're covering up with something you half-assed. >> why are you saying all this? you can't see he is upset? >> yeah, i can see. >> let him eat cake. that's all we're trying here. sit down and we can all calm down, right? and talk about all the good stuff that is happening to him right now. basketball, philadelphia, the cows. >> what? . that is ray romano in "somewhere in queens." it's on hulu now.

[ cheering ] >> jimmy: not only did we thoroughly enjoy the whole movie, i stayed through the credits because i wanted to see which members of your family were in it. all three of your sons. your daughter is a producer on the movie. >> my daughter, my poor daughter. she produced with me. we lived in an apartment for the whole time. >> jimmy: the two of you? >> yes. i have the apartment so she stayed. this is a young woman who -- she is living with an old man walking around with a flashlight in his underwear, you know. she was great. >> jimmy: and sebastian maniscalco. >> sebastian is in it. >> jimmy: plays your brother. which is a i think kind of a great compliment. >> it's a cool night because i do a guest spot on his show. i did a guest spot. >> jimmy: the very first scene of his show. that's pretty fantastic, actually. >> i know. >> jimmy: should we bring him out here? >> you know, there is nothing here, but yes, yes, bring him out. >> jimmy: i think we could fix that, actually, we could probably do something. >> can you have three italians?

[ cheering ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> good to see you. >> what should we do? [ cheering and applause ] >> can we sit? i don't want to sit. >> jimmy: why don't we stand? >> no. to have this many italians on the show and not have proper seating, it's a sin. so if we can bring out some italian seating, that would be fantastic. bring this out. >> okay. >> jimmy: oh, all right. here we go. yeah. would you mind taking that away? thank you so much. >> brings me home to grandma's house, you know. [ applause ] >> jimmy: perfect.

i mean, this is exactly what we need. >> yeah! now that's italian! >> jimmy: did either of you grow up in a house where you had one of those rooms? >> i did. >> i had this at my grandmother's house. >> me too. you grew up in chicago? >> grew up in chicago. our family didn't have any plastic. we lived upstairs. but my grandmother, this was like -- and i'm wondering, i don't know if -- by the way, i like the setup here. i like having people out here. it's nice. it's nice. >> jimmy: like the old days. >> yeah. we dent want to talk to you all night. >> jimmy: i got that also. i didn't want to mention it. >> is it sold with the plastic on it or is it an upgrade, do we know? >> jimmy: it is added, i believe. and i think they look at your license, and if your name ends in a vowel, they just go ahead and add $39.

[ applause ] >> well, i tell you one thing about the plastic, because i did grow up with. this it's okay. but when your parents aren't home and you're 13, it doesn't feel good naked. >> no, no. >> that's all i'm going say. >> jimmy: how did you guys meet? >> we met on the press tour of "irishmen." we were both in "irishmen." we didn't have any scenes together. >> jimmy: you travel around and did the introduce and stay in the same hotel and eat together? with all the guys? was de niro with you? >> they were in a different hotel. >> jimmy: oh, they were, yeah. laugh. >> we just hung out together. there was no de niro, pacino, pesci. we just found each other and kind of had our own little group. >> yeah, yeah. we hung out. and the other guy who is in the movie, my friend petey. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, he is great. he used to be on your show all the time. you guys, now how did it come to

pass that ray asked you to be his brother in the film? >> so we went golfing together. and he asked me on the golf course, hey, i'm doing this movie, would you like to play my brother? and here i am. i grew up watching this guy on the show. and now he is asking me to play his brother in a movie. and i'm like are you kidding me? i go home, you tell everybody, hey, ray romano. [ cheering ] >> so it was good. >> well, we gambled. i said if i beat you in this round, will you please do the movie? it was great. i've been a fan of his. >> jimmy: the actors are great in the movie. there is a scene in the movie where -- this doesn't really spoil anything, but the kid who plays your son, he brings his girlfriend to dinner and the family is kind of evaluating her. and she does really the smartest thing you can do in an italian family is ask for more meatballs, but the grandma has

not made enough meatballs. and what happens? >> yeah, she does the wrong thing at an italian house is to ask for more. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> i hate to take up time. >> jimmy: go ahead. >> this is a bit that's 30 years old. >> jimmy: go ahead. >> i used to do it in my act. i used to brief people when they came over. if you want more, here's what you have to do. if you want a lot more, you tell her you want a little more. if you want a little more, you tell her you want no more. and if you want no more, you have to shoot her. [ laughter ] and that's kind of the gist of that scene. the gist of that scene is she's got to get more meatballs. >> jimmy: i love having you guys out here together. ray, will you stay for sebastian? >> let's switch it. >> jimmy: we'll switch when we come back. ray romano, sebastian maniscalco, see them both in "somewhere in queens" on hulu

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>> jimmy: we're back with ray romano and sebastian maniscalco. sebastian, i feel like i should give you a real introduction. do you mind circling back? >> i'd love it. >> jimmy: ladies and gentlemen, our cavalcade of beloved italian americans continue tonight with a hugely successful new comedian. "bookie" premieres on max. please welcome sebastian maniscalco! ♪ welcome. so do you guys know each other -- oh, wait, we did that already. how are you? how old your kids now? >> i got a 6-year-old daughter, a 4-year-old son. >> jimmy: kind of in the same boat. and where are you on like elf on

the shelf, santa letter, all that kind of stuff right now? >> so i'm putting my daughter to sleep the other night. she said daddy, i think you eat the cookies and you drink the milk and hide the eggs. and i wasn't ready for this. she is 6. i was thinking 9, 10. i walked out of the room crying. and i told my wife. i go she don't believe in santa? what's going on in school? are the kids, you know? so my wife got in a text with all the mothers, and some of the mothers are we can't lie to our kids about santa. and i'm lie? that's all i do. i mean, you know, so -- yeah. >> i'm thinking of hiring a santa. >> jimmy: it's a good idea. >> christmas eve and wake up my kids and go santa's here, and they get a glimpse of him. because i'm not ready to let the magic go. >> jimmy: well, i like that

idea. i think that's -- i tell you, one time, i had a friend his wife, his mother was having visions from jesus, and she went to a hotel and started ordering dinner for jesus every night. we had one of the writers on the show call her and pretend to be jesus and tell her to stop doing it, and it worked, by god. it worked. so i think that's not a terrible idea. what are you going to do? do you joao a party? what's your plan for christmas? >> we love to throw parties at our house. we had a big christmas party last year. but the problem is no one ever invites us over to their house. >> jimmy: is that true? >> yeah. we get no invitations. wait, one for you. so i look at the party. we haven't been to anybody's house here. so i put a kibosh on the party this year. i want to see if we get any invitations. and up to this point, nothing. >> jimmy: nothing? >> yeah, but --

>> jimmy: go ahead. >> would you go to everything you're invited to? no, right? >> if you had a party. >> now be careful. >> jimmy: ray doesn't have parties. you don't have parties, do you? >> i think he invited me over to see the movie, and i couldn't go. >> right. >> i was out of town. that what you're referring? >> no, no, no, no. i'm saying -- no, no. i'm saying be careful because i'm going give you an invite. >> i'm coming. >> all right. you heard it. [ cheering ] >> jimmy: are these people who are -- these people you've had to your house who have not extended an invitation, can you name any of them in are there any famous people we can go through? >> listen, i don't hang out with a lot of hollywood types. i know you do, okay. however, and i'm note bragging here, but lionel richie came to my party. >> jimmy: okay. that's big. right. >> but the way he did it was

beautiful. he came in, gave me a nice bottle of champagne. he stayed for 26 mi [ laughter ] said hello, and left. >> jimmy: can i ask you, do you have a piano in your home? >> i do. but it's not lionel richie pea yian piano. >> jimmy: i think when lionel richie goes to a house and sees a piano, he thinks i'm getting out of here before somebody asks to play the piano. >> if i were lionel richie, i would play the piano. >> jimmy: your not lionel richie. do you cook? >> i gave up cooking, about six years. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah. for holidays. for the holidays. >> jimmy: all right. >> i decided to make meat, steak, right, for about 12 of my family members. well, i started to serve the steak.

i started getting complaints. it's not -- it needs to be medium rare. listen. when i cook steak, it's one temperature. this ain't a restaurant, right. i'm not cooking to order. so my wife was like was i wanted well. i said come outside. we got in an argument. i had a santa hat on. i got so mad i took the santa hat off and chucked it over the hedge. you do it! and that's the last time we did any type of cooking. >> jimmy: wow, never again. i'm so sorry to hear that. you got this new show. it's very funny. and it really hits close to home, because i have a lot of this kind of bookie activity going on. i won't mention who, but my cousin sal. and this guy is a bookie who is struggling, fair to say. >> and navigating the world of

kind of legalized gambling. >> jimmy: yes. it's tough to be a bookie nowadays. >> it takes him into a lot of different worlds in los angeles. i'm collecting money from a trust fund kid. i'm housewife and what have you. so it's kind of fun to go into these different environments. >> jimmy: the first guy we see is ray. >> ray opens it up. he is phenomenal. he was great. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i got confused when i was watching because i was watching both. wait a minute, i got the wrong one on. i got ray's movie on. i didn't know you were in each other's thing until today. >> he was great you. hear haze voice, oh, god, it's ray romano. >> it's hit-and-run. i'm only on for a minute. >> jimmy: you don't have to distance yourself from sebastian. >> no, no that's why the show is great. that's why the show is great. >> jimmy: charlie sheen is on the show. >> it's a chuck laurie project. they're coming together. >> jimmy: that makes it less likely that charlie sheen would be in the show, yet there he is

in the show with you. >> it was great. never worked with him before. he was so grace, such a nice guy, a really seasoned actor. >> jimmy: he is a guy if you invite him over, he is not leaving early. he is not going to leave after 26 minutes. he is going to be there for the night, in that piano. >> it's a good balance, lionel and charlie. >> jimmy: and then you have a new stand-up tour that you're preparing. >> it's called "it ain't right." tickets are on sale right now. [ cheering ] >> jimmy: can you give us a little wise call it ain't right? >> it ain't right that ray -- >> uh-oh. >> is reading with a flashlight in his bed. i'm listening to this. shouldn't he maybe mount something on the thing? >> jimmy: how does it work? you're like a cop looking through a house, an intruder. >> you lean back and you rest it on your chest like that. yeah.

>> jimmy: you know what to get him for christmas at least. >> maybe we'll get him maybe a kindle? i don't know. still reading books at night. >> jimmy: have you guys ever thought about going on a tour together? >> after tonight, we're going to do something. >> yeah, you can have the couch. >> he don't need me. he don't need me. this guy sells out the garden. he don't need me. >> jimmy: the plastic seat cover tour. i can see it now. >> i love it. >> jimmy: well, it's great to have you guys here. you're both great in each other's things. new episodes of thursdays on max. and sebastian maniscalco, ray romano, thank you for being here, guys. [ cheering and applause ] >> jimmy: merry christmas, ray. we'll be back with paul russell. before i met your mom, i was a covert assassin. i escaped that life and now they found us. [laughs] [gun shots] [gun-cocks] -what the... ♪ ice ice baby ♪

jess: who are you, james bond? ♪ all right stop ♪ i'm still the man you married. ♪ ice ice baby ♪ you weren't in a band or vegan, dan. you were an assassin for hire. ♪ and now you're driving a minivan? i love that minivan. ♪ [baby coos] ♪ streaming soon on apple tv+. rated pg-13. with scope squeez mouthwash concentrate, just add water, squeeze to control the strength of your mouthwash, ♪ and find a zone all your own. ♪ scope squeez.

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>> jimmy: all right. it's time for music. here with the song "lil boo thang" paul russell! [ cheering and applause ] ♪ let's get it y'all hey you my lil boo thang so i don't give a hoot what your dude ♪ ♪ say girl i know you a lil too tame i'll be shootin' that shot like 2k girl ♪ ♪ i know tell 'em i'm tell 'em i'm next tell 'em you found ♪ ♪ a lil somethin' too fresh i know tell 'em i'm tell 'em i'm next ♪ ♪ tell 'em you found a lil somethin' too fresh i know put a lil gold ♪ ♪ in the teeth and the fit good so i took the doors off the jeep okay ♪ ♪ i see a brother holdin' your seat no beef but i'm tryna get to know you at least ♪ ♪ don't take my talkin' to you wrong i can keep it chill like a sauvignon blanc ♪ ♪ i'ma keep it real when

your man long gone if you're lookin' for a friend then you got ♪ ♪ the wrong song baby girl what's good what's with ya if you booked tonight ♪ ♪ that's fiction i'm outside no pictures you want me? go figure to the back to the front ♪ ♪ you a ten baby girl but i'm the one to the back to the front you a ten baby girl ♪ ♪ but i'm the one you my lil boo thang so i don't give a hoot what your dude ♪ ♪ say girl i know ♪ you a lil too tame i'll be shootin' that shot like 2k ♪ ♪ girl i know tell 'em i'm tell 'em i'm next tell 'em you found ♪ ♪ a lil somethin' too fresh i know tell 'em i'm tell 'em i'm next ♪ ♪ tell 'em you found a lil somethin' too fresh i know girl you got me ♪ ♪ hey sing it with me ohooh ohooh you got the best ♪ ♪ of my love ohooh ohooh you got the best of my my ♪ ♪ ohooh ohooh you got the best of my love ohooh ohooh ♪

♪ and in that dress i'm like you my lil boo thang so i don't give a hoot what your dude ♪ ♪ say girl i know you a lil too tame i'll be shootin' that shot like 2k girl i know ♪ ♪ tell 'em i'm tell 'em i'm next tell 'em you found a lil somethin' too fresh ♪ ♪ i know tell 'em i'm tell 'em i'm next tell 'em you found ♪ ♪ a lil somethin' too fresh i know ♪ [ cheering and applause ]

>> jimmy: thanks to ray romano, sebastian maniscalco and paul russell. thanks to you too. apologies to matt damon. we did run out of time for him. "nightline" is next, thank you for watching, goodnight. this is "nightline." tonight, serial killer caught. the suspect in a series of murders in a los angeles courtroom today. >> it was chilling, and i've been in this work for four plus decades. >> prosecutors allege jared powell shot for men over four consecutive day,