>> guillermo: previously on "jimmy kimmel live!" --

>> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- george clooney -- kumail nanjiani -- and music from lenny kravitz -- with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. hello. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. it's very nice. i have to be honest. some nights it's harder to do this show than others some nights. sometimes bad things happen. and when they do, we try to make sense of them. but then, we have situations like this morning, when i actually had to ask myself, how can we live in a society where something like this is allowed

to happen? >> best performance by a male actor in a motion picture, musical, or comedy, matt damon, "air." >> jimmy: what gives, you know? what gives. another stain on the so-called golden globes. the other big news here in la, this is something everyone is talking about this weekend, the richest contract in the history of sports, shohei ohtani, the reigning baseball mvp, he hits and he pitches. [ cheering ] signed a deal with the dodgers for $70 million a year. the dodgers will pay him million over the next ten years. hot dogs from now on will be priced at $500 apiece. ohtani is leaving the angels organization, which was a tough decision, but ultimately he just wanted to explore a different part of the freeway, and now he's come here.

are you excited, guillermo? >> guillermo: very excited, jimmy. >> jimmy: you love the dodgers. >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: and you're pounding on your microphone. >> guillermo: sorry, sorry. so excited. >> jimmy: how has your hanukkah been so far? >> guillermo: it's going good. >> jimmy: it's going good? >> guillermo: yeah, it's going good. >> jimmy: in washington, president biden hosted the annual hanukkah party. they had to end the ceremony early, apparently biden mistook the menorah for a birthday cake and blew out all the candles. grandpa joe spoke about how hanukkah is a timeless story of miracles and that, even in dark times, we can find the light. you know he was thinking about getting up to pee eight times every singing night. meanwhile, hunter biden is in a latke trouble. federal prosecutors have charged hunter with nine crimes. including tax evasion, failure to file and pay taxes, and filing a false or fraudulent return. according to the special counsel, hunter "spent millions of dollars on an extravagant lifestyle rather than paying his tax bills."

which he is like the son donald trump never had. he really is. the details are fascinating, actually, to say the least. hunter made more than $1.6 million in atm withdrawals. he spent around $683,000 on payments to various women. over $237,000 dollars on health, beauty and pharmacy. you thought you had a long receipt at cvs. that's a lot. $188,000 on adult entertainment, and a little over $71,000 on rehab and re-rehab and re-re-rehab, for a grand total of almost $5 million. that's like an early 2000 charlie sheen caliber performance. it's impressive. [ applause ] the white house reiterated that the president will not pardon hunter if he is convicted.

of any crime, although they didn't say anything about not dressing him up as a turkey next thanksgiving and pardoning him then. and then there's donald trump, who undoubtedly wants to pardon himself. he ignored his lawyers' advice. he agreed to testify at his $250 million fraud trial in new york today, a decision that was trumpeted emphatically last week by his lawyer/hype lady. >> he still wants to take the stand, even though my advice is at this point you should never the stand with a gag order. but he is so firmly against what is happening in this court and so firmly for the old america we know, not this america, that he will take the stand on monday. he will open himself up to whatever they want because he is not afraid. people that are afraid cower. president trump doesn't cower. we'll be back on monday. >> jimmy: right, okay. so that was thursday. guess who opted not to testify today? i'll give you -- guess who instead decided to cower? well, that's right.

fatlock was nowhere to be seen. he posted that he didn't show up because he had nothing more to say about it. and then posted all day about it, a hundred different things. i don't get it. trump doesn't go back on his word. maybe his volunteer work took him away from it? i don't know. but trump had plenty to say on saturday. he was at a gala for new york young republicans where he treated the crowd to a very normal, very rational thought. >> and i was just asking secret service, how the hell do they know i'm in the car? because we have windows this thick. they're like really good. very good. i have guys walking up to that thing. if they held a little thing, i'd say go ahead, shoot, shoot. you know what happens? the bullet bounces back and kills them. i got him. they say i got this guy. i got him. go ahead and shoot. here i am. sho shoot. bing bong. that's the i think. >> jimmy: i like when he does

his sound effects, bing bong, that's the end. and then another about the deep state. >> a powerful mandate to take back our nation from the shadow government of corrupt alliances hidden -- hidden people. they hide under carpets and rugs. >> jimmy: right. that's not a roomba. it's george soros. they hide under carpets and rugs just because melania hides from you under carpets and rugs doesn't mean that other people do that. it's unusual. and then we have george santos. who is -- thank you. not as slick as donald trump. every time trump gets indicted, he rakes in the cash. but george santos not doing too badly himself. >> we're back with former congressman george santos, who within four seconds of leaving office has found a new career on cameo. what is that about? >> look, you know what's funny?

the idea came from a former kevin mccarthy staffer. he reached out and says george, you have such a large personality. the people love you. you should just open a cameo. what's a cameo? i looked into it. oh, that's what it's called. the videos where people send you birthday wishes. i opened it. >> jimmy: so now this cameo thing, according to george is really paying off. he claims he's made more money in seven days than he did in congress for a year. and part of that money came from me. i sent him a bunch of crazy video requests just to see what he would read and what he wouldn't read. i showed some on the air on thursday. and now he is demanding $20,000 from me to be paid a commercial rate. you imagine if i get sued by george santos for fraud? how good would that be? it would be like a dream come true. so since i started buying his videos his rates went way up to $500 apiece.

he should be thanking me for buying these videos. but i have a big stockpile. you want to see one? >> yeah! >> jimmy: again, george had no idea these requests for me. i just wrote them and send it in. will santos say it? here we go. george, can you please congratulate my legally blind niece julia on passing her driving test. they said she couldn't do it, even shouldn't, but she has taught herself to drive safely using her other sensings. she is not a quitter. that said, the day after she got her license, she got in a really bad car accident. so if you could also wish her a speedy recovery, that would be amazing. she is in a body cast and very bummed out. but with help from jesus and president trump, soon she will be back on the road. will george santos say it? >> yeah! >> hey, julia, i would like to wish you congratulations on your driving tests. you proved that even the legally

blind can do it. i know that it's a bummer that right after you got the test and you show that you weren't a quitter, you got into that little accident. look, a body cast ain't much. you'll -- you'll ace this. you'll rock this. as soon as you're out of that body cast, because you're awesome. and jesus and president trump will make sure that you're back on the road soon, and you're going to be amazing. uncle joe sends his love, and i want you to never give up on your dreams because you are not a quitter, julia. and i love you. bye! >> jimmy: that was very sweet. [ applause ] you want one more? all right. one more. this was for an imaginary friend named heath. i wrote -- "hey, george. my friend heath just came out as a furry and i'd love for you to tell him that his friends and family all accept him. his "fursona" is a platypus mixed with a beaver.

he calls it a beav-a-pus. can you say we all love you beav-a-pus? he also just got the go ahead from arby's corporate to go to work in the outfit so we're all so happy for him to be himself at work and at home. could you also do a loud "yiff yiff yiff?" that's the sound beav-a-pus makes as beav-a-pus. thank you so much." alright, will santos say it? >> yeah! >> hey! george santos here. i'm so proud you have for coming out as a furry, and i just wanted to tell you that your friends and family all accept you. and they're all excited about your fursona, which is awesome to be a beav-a-pus, a beaver and platypus. let me tell you, they all love you, beav-a-pus. don't you ever get your head down, and don't you ever, ever let anybody tell you what you

can and can't be. i'm so proud that the corporate folks at arby's gave you the go ahead to go to work in your persona. so if you could, just, you know, live it up and be as perfect as you want, just keep doing you, and yiff yiff yiff! bye! >> jimmy: yiff yiff yiff. that's right. back at you. we'll have more as the week goes on. christmas is two weeks away. i already have a pile of holiday cards, but not everyone has their holiday act together. so we thought it might be fun to head out to hollywood boulevard, where our announcer lou is looking very business-like is standing by. hi, lou. >> lou: hey, what's going on, jimmy. >> jimmy: are you experiencing holiday cheer on the boulevard tonight? >> lou: i feel like the boulevard spidermen have a little extra spring in their step today. >> jimmy: what's going on out there? is there a premiere? >> lou: i don't know. they're doing construction.

>> jimmy: they're always doing something. we asked lou to find us a family that is visiting from some place, and he found a family, right, lou? >> lou: i did. >> jimmy: okay. let's meet the family. hi, family. how you? dale. >> how you? >> jimmy: oh you guys are wearing name tags. dale, brenna, lennox, alita and duke. hey we had a german shepherd named duke. duke, how old are you? >> 8. >> jimmy: alita? >> 5. >> jimmy: how about lennox? how old you? >> three! >> jimmy: three. he could be a congressman telling lies like that, lennox. what's your last name, folks? >> langley. >> jimmy: now i understand, i was told that you have jet to take a holiday photo. is that correct? >> true. >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay, lou, i want you to bring -- do you want to take care of that right now is this something you're interested in handling right now?

>> sure. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: bring them in here. >> lou: come on in, guys. >> jimmy: okay. here we go. the langley family is coming in. we got a whole setup now. we have -- oh, i didn't know you were in this. >> guillermo: yes, how are you. >> jimmy: when did you change into that costume? >> guillermo: like ten minutes ago. >> jimmy: oh, you look great. >> thank you. >> jimmy: do you have to pee while you're dancing? >> guillermo: just feel the holidays. >> jimmy: oh, here they are. say hello to the lange liss, everyone. [ cheering ] >> jimmy: hi, guys! >> hi. >> jimmy: duke, come over here. >> guillermo: hi. >> jimmy: come over here, guys. >> thank you. >> jimmy: this might be a little big on you, duke. these are for duke. come over here. i'll give you one right here. i'm going help you put this on. yeah, this is going to be very, very big. lennox, come over here, we'll put you in a sweater. all right. duke.

no, it's backwards, duke. all right. that's all right. [ laughter ] all right. close enough. all right. we got this. and we got a very big one for lennox. lennox, this is -- lennox, all right. here we go, lennox. are you excited about christmas? okay. come in here, guys. now just sit on this couch, and you can put on that santa cap if you like. i got a camera here. so i'm going take the photo. and elf guillermo is going to be in there with you too. and i want some really nice smiles, okay? okay. put lennox on your lap there. i feel like we're missing something, though. i don't know what it is. is it candy canes we're missing? you know what we're missing? we're missing uncle george. [ cheering ] >> hey, guys. >> oh my! [ cheering ]

>> guillermo: smiling? >> jimmy: there we go. great. i think we got it. merry christmas! >> guillermo: thank you. >> duke, duke, do you know who this is? >> uncle george. >> jimmy: that's right. he is uncle george. merry christmas, family. merry christmas, uncle george. hey, we'll be right back. we have a great show tonight. music from lenny kravitz. i'll be right back with george clooney. abc's "jimmy kimmel live!" brought to you by t barista coffee system.

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♪ >> jimmy: all right. welcome back. tonight, his new animated movie is called "migration." kumail nanjiani is with us. and later, with a new show from the movie "rustin," lenny kravitz will be with us. this week we have a good week of shows with with zac efron, carey mulligan, jason mantzoukas, charles melton, alan ritchson and keegan-michael key. with music from lainey wilson, sleater-kinney and queens of the stone age. so please join us for all that. our first guest is an oscar-winning actor, director, distiller of spirits and sexiest batman alive. he goes behind the camera once again, with a new historical

drama "the boys in the boat" opens in theaters christmas day, please welcome george clooney. [ cheering and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. look at this. >> thank you. hello. >> jimmy: first of all, i want to tell the audience something, because when we were on strike. >> yes. >> jimmy: when we were on strike, we did a podcast. it was me, stephen colbert, seth meyers, jimmy fallon and john oliver. we did a podcast and called george clooney, would you sponsor this podcast to support our staff? and you said yes, i would absolutely do that with casa amigos, george and rande gerber. so thank you. >> i didn't know that.

no one told me or i would have probably put on there. >> jimmy: and, hey, have you taken your holiday photo yet? >> no, no, no. i just. >> jimmy: with the langleys? >> use that one. that's the one. >> jimmy: i don't think anyone will be surprised if that came from you. >> i wouldn't be surprised if you send it out to all my friends, because that's who you are. >> jimmy: did you know i saw your wife on saturday night? >> i do. i know that. >> jimmy: and she told me that your kids now speak two languages that you don't speak. >> yes. i'm not a very smart person. and i've armed my children. they speak french and they speak italian. and my wife speaks french and italian. >> jimmy: you are at a tactical disadvantage right now. >> yeah. what's got two thumbs and doesn't speak french or italian? yeah. it's okay, though. i'm enjoying the ignorance of it all. >> jimmy: are you? >> yeah. sitting there and the kids will look at me, papa, esperanza,

what? i kind of enjoy it. >> jimmy: do you think maybe they think you're dumb? >> yes. >> jimmy: because you don't understand? >> i'll try to fake something in the wrong, and they'll look at me like you're an idiot. you're 6. >> jimmy: i had this, my daughter the other night, i didn't graduate college. you didn't? she goes are you dumb? >> well, my son is in love with batman. that's all he talks about is batman. you know, i was batman. and he's not anymore. >> jimmy: wow. >> he has no idea how right he is. >> jimmy: that's tough. that's tough. >> how do you tell your 6-year-old son that batman had nipples? how do you do that? >> jimmy: i guess you do it in french is really how you do it. >> right. >> jimmy: le nipple. >> bonjour. >> jimmy: is santa claus still an entity at your home? >> oh, yeah, man. are you kidding? what are you talking about?

>> jimmy: i don't know. because my son started to ask question. >> oh, i can't take that because you know it all falls in a day. because what happens is so this whole tooth fairy thing. and you go yeah, you know, i kind of slid a little. and then like as the day goes on. so this easter bunny? and you're like yeah. and then you look for anything. you're not talking about santa claus. oh, no. >> jimmy: that's a totally different thing. >> comes down the chimney. >> jimmy: i will give you the tooth fairy. i will begrudgingly give you the easter bunny, but not santa claus. no. what's the best item, the best gift you ever got when you were a kid for christmas? >> that's a good question. i don't know. i'm trying to think. i guess eventually, i'd been asking for a long time for a bicycle. and my parents got me -- there was sort of that like schwinn was groovy. and then there was huffy. >> jimmy: that's what i had. >> and then there was the next one that was the kmart one.

i can't remember, it was murray. >> jimmy: murray! >> whatever it was. but it came in a box that you had to put together. and i never actually got it completely put together. >> jimmy: oh really? you were in charge of assembling it yourself? >> well, you know, i was 4. >> jimmy: i had a huffy. and at that time, the huffy was the worst one. i remember my kids got to that age and huffy is like a cool bike now. i'm not getting them a huffy. they can't go through the abuse that i went through. >> i would dress it up there. is the '70s, you know. so we had all the sissy bar and the streamers on and stuff. >> jimmy: did you have the baseball cards in the spokes? >> in the spokes to make a little noise. and i had a three-shifter right in the middle. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> oh, yeah, baby. >> jimmy: wow! >> that's what took me so long to put the damn thing together. >> jimmy: our mutual friend norman lear passed away six days ago. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you were really, really close with norman, right? how long had you known? you met him on "facts of life"?

>> 40 years. i did a series before "er" before "er" which is kind of stupid. >> jimmy: with elliott gould, right? >> elliott gould. and he was the executive producer on it. and i met him then. you think about it, he was 60 then. he was my age then. and he was -- i mean, he was world wide web when he passed away. and he was -- he was the youngest man in every room he walked in to, don't you think? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. also, just his wit and his sharpness seemed to come out of nowhere, because you see this man who is a very old man. you just don't expect. >> he would do weird stuff, like he would say -- i'd get a call. two years ago i got a call from him i was in italy. where are you? i'm in italy. how are the kids? they're doing great. i want to see them. okay. well, we're here for a while. okay. and then he flies to italy. i mean, i don't drive to hollywood. and he got on the plane and flew

to italy. >> jimmy: wow. >> he was just one of those -- i have to say, it's very -- kind of gave something of the same response when we heard, which is that it's very unusual to talk about 101 years being too soon. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but it was too soon. >> jimmy: it was, it was. i met him when he was 95. >> really. >> jimmy: imagine meeting someone becomes your friend when he is 95 years old. i feel like he stuck around for me. >> that's not a bad feeling. >> jimmy: right? i know that's a totally self-centered feeling. >> i was going to say. i probably not. >> jimmy: did your parents get to meet norman? >> in italy. >> jimmy: oh. we have a picture i want to show of your dad with his sister your aunt rosemary and your aunt gail as well. boy, you weren't adopted for sure. >> my dad turns 90 in a couple of weeks. >> jimmy: wow, wow.

are you going to do something? >> your pop turning 90, right? turning 90 means you've avoided dying. it's funny, when we did -- i did a movie "the monuments men" i directed years and years ago, and i had my dad play me as an old man in it. and the last shot in the movie, he walks off into the -- walks off into the light and the credits roll up. and so when i screened the movie for the first time, when the first credit rolled up, it said "in loving memory of nick clooney." and he said what the hell you doing? you never know. >> jimmy: george clooney, movie is "the boys in the boat." we'll be right back. ♪ >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live!" are brought to you by seminole hard rock hotel and casino florida. now sports betting. ♪ slide in strong wow ♪

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i saw your picture in the paper. harry jr. clipped it out. when did you get back from california? >> a couple of years. >> things weren't much better down there. so you've been here all that time? >> down the road a bit. >> were you ever going the tell me? >> you're doing all right. >> i was 14 when you left. >> i went to war when i was that age.

>> so what do you want to do, joe? huh? >> jimmy: that is "the boys in the boat" directed by george clooney. it opens on christmas day. this is the perfect kind of movie to see at christmas time. and i've learned a lot from watching this movie. first of all, you know, i knew a little bit about the 1936 olympics. i had no idea about this university of washington rowing team. you hear about jesse owens who is represented in the movie as well. but i found myself watching rowing and being gripped and really rooting for this team. it's a crazy story. >> guillermo: it's a crazy story because it was during the depression, and all these young men there is a great book. a lot of you actually already read the book. it's a huge book and a wonderful piece of literature. but it's basically these young broke young men trying to attend the university of washington, trying to eat. they didn't have any money. this is during the depression. the kid you see in this scene is

living in his car. and they learn to row just to stay in college and to get food. and they end up winning the olympics. spoiler alert. >> jimmy: yeah, i was amazed at, and i assume everything is essentially true. thousands and thousands of people would come to see these races. >> 100,000 people would show. it was the most watched sporting event in the united states in the mid-'30s, which is crazy, because it doesn't seem like it would be. >> jimmy: did you shoot up in seattle? >> no, up to seattle. seattle doesn't look like seattle in 1936. it's changed a little. so we shot a lot of it in england. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> same weather. >> jimmy: yeah, it is tim same weather. >> it is. i think they're on the same parallel. >> you're very good with those. >> jimmy: you did have good weather through the whole movie. i noted that i lived in seattle. it wasn't quite as nice as that. >> no, no. >> jimmy: and then the story of this team that -- oh, you have hitler is in the movie. >> hitler is in the movie.

we got him out. we dug him up. >> jimmy: i do want to ask you about that. what is the process of cast, finding your hitler? >> it's tricky. because guys put on little crappy mustaches and tape themselves. >> jimmy: oh, they do that. >> and you're like dude. the good news is you got the part. the bad news is you're hitler. what is it? >> jimmy: knowing you, i would never, ever, under any circumstances send you a video of myself with a little hitler mustache pasted on. >> no, no. in fact, i wish you had. i would have another house. >> jimmy: and then what happens when you get the guy, we found our hitler. >> we got our hitler, yeah. well, it's depressing, obviously. it's kind of a relief, actually, because, you know, when you're -- when you're shooting a period piece, and you're doing something, this is 1936. everybody knew hitler was kind of a bad guy. had no idea how much worse it was going get. >> jimmy: that was interesting to me is that the americans were

cheered when they came in to berlin by the germans. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and i was oh, wow. this is right before. >> before all hell broke loose. >> jimmy: before things changed. >> we were shooting. we were in london. and we would have to shoot in all of these places and hang swastikas up, and it was horrible. you would always apologize. i'm so sorry. we were shooting at the greenwich naval academy. it's very british. and this old gentleman comes up, wearing the medals. what is it you're going to be shooting here. well were scouting the locations. i said well, we're going to hang some swastikas up on the thing. right. and he looked at me, but no french flags, right? i go no. that [ bleep ] runs deep. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow. and i also was noting as i was watching the movie, it seems like you gravitate towards movies as far as directing goes that have a lot of -- a bunch of

young guys together. >> yes. >> jimmy: is that because it's fun for you to be with a bunch of young guys? >> well, you know. >> jimmy: i don't mean it like that. george, is there anything you want to tell us? >> it's the holiday season. well, i don't enjoy it, because i don't enjoy younger actors that take roles from us. >> jimmy: i see. >> as we're aging, there is not much i can do about it. >> jimmy: even when you yourself have given them those roles. >> as a mistake on my part, all the way around. yeah, but these guys are all 6'5". >> jimmy: they're all big boys. >> i took a picture with the actual oxford rowing team. have i it somewhere or i would show you. literally, i saw the picture later. they put it in the paper. and i'm looking at it. wow, that's unbelievable. who is that little [ bleep ] -- that's me! >> jimmy: well, the movie came out great. it's a great movie to see on christmas day. that's for sure. it's called "the boys in the boat." it opens in theaters then. george clooney, everybody.

thank you, george. we'll be back with kumail nanjiani! [ cheering and applause ] ♪ ♪ "stayin' alive" by the bee gees ♪ (♪) that's two for five dollars! what happened to three? (♪) (♪) where have you been? north pole. (♪) (♪) disco ball for the sleigh! nice! (♪) hey there, watch this! (♪) boom! -wow! (♪) ho! ho! ho! (♪) how's the hair? frosty as ever! (♪) (♪)

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>> jimmy: hi there. music from the way. our lucky night. a man with skin like a greek god. animated movie "migration." >> get ready for our big super fun family migration. >> what? >> bet you didn't see that coming. >> are you serious? >> yep. an adventure into the totally unknown. and i'm going to love it. >> jimmy: "migration" opens in theaters december 22nd. say hello to kumail nanjiani!

♪ >> i'm great. how are you. >> jimmy: i'm great. it's great to see you. thanks for coming. >> thanks for having me. look what i have? this. >> jimmy: that is very floor me. >> this. i was at my friend martin starr's wedding. him and alex got married. and he had the sake cups made, based on my cat bagel. and it's made by your daughter. >> jimmy: that's right. my daughter katie made these as an artist. >> look at her. >> jimmy: that is bagel. so your friend had specific cups made for each pet owner? >> i think the ones that he loved. >> jimmy: that you like the most. that's pretty cool. did you know that katie had made these? or he tell you this? >> look underneath. >> jimmy: oh, it says her name on it. yeah.

i guess that explains it. bagel. yeah, bagel. how nice. are you crazy about bagel? >> i love bagel too much, like it's a problem. we call her everything bagel, because she is everything to us. >> jimmy: oh really? >> yeah, it's disgusting. our love for her is disgusting. she just turned 15. >> jimmy: oh, okay. what does that reaction mean? >> i -- i know how time work, jimmy. it's not a surprise. >> jimmy: i never owned a cat. how long -- what's the life span on a cat? >> hundreds of years. i hope. yeah. 15 is pretty advanced for a cat. but people always have that reaction. like oh. george mentioned his dad was 90. you went oh. you know? for humans. >> jimmy: it wasn't oh. it was oh. it was more of an oh. oh. >> oh. >> jimmy: well, at least you'll always have the cup.

>> and my cat. because i will pass before she does. and, you know, it sort of snuck on me that she is quite advanced at 15. because, you know, with cats, there are no like markers for package of time. they don't learn to drive and get married. go to college. i got bagel when she was this little. i got her when she was two weeks, this little. a couple of months later she was this big. and since then she has looked exactly the same and learned zero new things. she still doesn't understand english. and so it was a shock when we took her to the vet a few years ago, you know, with geriatric cats. what do you mean geriatric? this is a little baby. are you an idiot? >> jimmy: were you offended and startled by that? >> yeah. i pulled out a laser pointer. is this the behavior of an adult? but we were in london earlier this year, and i brought bagel

with us, because i love her too much. and she started having some health issues. >> jimmy: oh. >> yeah. so we took their the vet. and there were a bunch of tests. and the final sort of meeting where they told us, a british vet, and he is telling us what's wrong with her? and it's not great news. and i knew it wasn't going well the meeting, because as soon as i got home, the first thing i did is googled "are vets even real doctors?" it turns out they are. they have to go to school and everything. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> yeah. you know, for human doctors, they have to deal with the human body. vets have to deal with every other kind of body in the universe. like you could take an iguana or a peacock, and they'd have to be all right, let's see what's going on inside this thing. they have to know where the butt hole is on both those things. >> jimmy: are doctors not only do they have to deal with the human body, they each take a part. i'm the ear nose and throat. i'll take the heart.

i'll take, you know, the butt. >> all parts of every animal. >> jimmy: it's true. >> so he is telling me this. and, you know, sort of bad news. and i don't know what my face did. but this british man got really awkward. and he started looking for something. and he couldn't find what he was looking for. and then, you know that doctors have that table paper. >> jimmy: yep. >> that they pull out that's made of the same material as like toilet seat covers in airports. that paper that somehow really thin and really hard at the same time. >> jimmy: yes. >> like a loud paper. he rips off a piece and gives it to me. and i'm like oh, he thinks i'm going to cry. and so i'm like i don't need this. and before i can finish, just tears. tears down my face. and i'm like now trying to use this piece of paper. and it's not absorbent at all. >> jimmy: no. >> i'm just relocating the tears around my face. i have tears on my forehead, which is a new sensation.

and i have crumpled it. it's real sharp. i'm cutting up my face, just like a wet scratched up face. i walk out looking like freddie kruger in the rain. >> jimmy: this is ridiculous. no wonder he is not dealing with humans. >> yeah. i did not handle it well. so now we have like a bunch of meds to give her, which i don't know if you ever tried medicating a cat. >> jimmy: it's hard? >> it's hard. so we have to give her five pills a day. and they're like easy. just put it in her food. so we're like okay. imagine if you're at a restaurant and you're eating spaghetti, and there is five tylenols in it. >> jimmy: you get suspicious. >> yeah. [ applause ] you'd be like this restaurant sucks. i'm leaving. oh, my back doesn't hurt anymore. >> jimmy: it's interesting. now that you know so much about animals, and now you're playing a duck, which really can come in handy in a lot of ways. >> yeah. i did very little research.

>> jimmy: you did no research? >> i googled. well, i know one thing about ducks, but you don't want toe know what it is. >> jimmy: oh really? >> it's not a good thing. >> jimmy: what's the bad thing about a duck? >> they have spiral-shaped penises. >> jimmy: oh, they do? >> yeah, i found some common ground. >> jimmy: wow. i knew that about pigs. i didn't know that ducks have that too. these are just the male ducks i'm guessing. >> yeah, just the male ducks. and for their body, they're sizable. >> jimmy: really? >> compared to the size of like -- it's like percentage-wise, it's a big penis. >> jimmy: really? and that's really what attracted you to the part? >> yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow. i have to say, i thank you, because it's great to have a really good funny animated movie

over the holidays. >> right. because you have a couple -- there is migration. we're talking ducks. and george's movie. a couple of different options. we didn't have to audition an actor to play hitler, although i did audition to play hitler for his movie. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah. they said i didn't quite nail the accent. >> jimmy: kumail nanjiani, everybody. "migration" is his movie. it opens in theaters december 22nd. we'll be back with lenny kravitz. ♪ when i was diagnosed with h-i-v, i didn't know who i would be. but here i am... being me. keep being you... and ask your healthcare provider about the number one prescribed h-i-v treatment, biktarvy. biktarvy is a complete, one-pill, once-a-day treatment used for h-i-v in many people whether you're 18 or 80. with one small pill, biktarvy fights h-i-v to help you get to undetectable—and stay there whether you're just starting or replacing your current treatment. research shows that taking h-i-v treatment as prescribed and getting to and staying undetectable

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♪(christmas jingle bells) thank you. (♪) ah, this is so pretty. right. (♪) wow... this is so beautiful. oh, hi!

so this is the, uh, place! is that...crown molding? did you do that? mhmm. hold on, are you on the raisin bran crunch? good boy! do you want to see the kitchen? (♪)

>> jimmy: here with the song "road to freedom" from the soundtrack of the netflix movie "rustin," lenny kravitz! [ cheering and applause ] ♪ ♪ we are here to make the dream true and together that's what we'll do ♪ ♪ we are here we will change the time step by step standing side by side ♪ ♪ we're on the

road to freedom until the war is won we're on the ♪ ♪ road to freedom if you're broken i'll carry you ♪ when i'm weary, you'll see me through ♪ ♪ on this road we will not retreat ♪ ♪ and we'll never accept defeat ♪ ♪ we're on the road to until the war is won ♪ ♪ we're on the road to freedom there's so much work to be done ♪

♪ we will fight where evil lies we will sacrifice there's no compromise ♪ ♪ on this road we're prepared to die we will stay the course we know we will rise ♪ ♪ rise, rise, rise ♪ ♪ we're on the road to freedom on the road to freedom ♪ ♪ until the war is won, until the war is won ♪ ♪ we're on the road to freedom, road to freedom ♪ ♪ so much work to be done, we're marching on ♪ ♪ we're on the road to freedom

oh freedom, until the war is won ♪ ♪ until the war is won, we're on the road to freedom, much work to be done ♪ ♪ we're marchin' on and on and on and on and on ♪ ♪ we're on the road to freedom so much work to be done ♪ [ cheering and applause ] but we need an atm from our bank unless you want to spend a small fortune in fees. uh, no, thank you. banking with us means more fee-free atms than the two largest us banks combined.

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>> jimmy:thanks to george clooney, kumail nanjiani and lenny kravitz. apologies to matt damon. nightline is next, thank you for watching, goodnight. ♪ this is "nightline." tonight, nikki haley, the rising republican taking on trump. >> you can't