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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  December 20, 2023 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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amazon fire tv. do not forget roku. download the app now so you can start streaming all right. thank you for watching. i'm ama daetz and i'm dan ashley for sanjay patel larry biel all of us. >> we appreciate your time as always right now on jimmy kimmel blake shelton, luke grimes and jelly roll. >> have a great night previously on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- blake shelton, luke grimes, and jelly roll. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. hi, everyone. well. thank you. welcome. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us on -- i don't know if you know this -- [ cheers and applause ] we are a long way from nashville, tennessee, but this is country music's biggest night, the cma awards were held earlier tonight here on abc. luke bryan and peyton manning were back as hosts for the second year in a row. luke, as usual, was funny and charming. peyton threw for three touchdowns, 207 yards. [ laughter ] it was great. best quarterback rating ever for an awards show. so congratulations. [ laughter ] there they are. looking like the office bros trying to convince you to go to
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happy hour at ruby tuesday's on a wednesday night. [ laughter ] here they are being honored with the j.d. power award for best full and midsize regional sales team at greenway kia. [ laughter ] everyone was there. all the cma-listers. even paula abdul was there. world-renowned country music superstar paula abdul -- [ laughter ] presented the award for album of the year. maybe she thought she was at the vmas? i don't know. i'm pretty sure the closest paula abdul ever got to country music was being replaced by keith urban on "american idol." [ laughter ] you know, they bring a lot of people from a lot -- even the golden bachelor was a presenter tonight. [ cheers and applause ] which that actually makes sense. an old man trying to find love is one of the most country music things there is. [ laughter ] put him in a truck, you've got a hit right there. the only big country stars that weren't on the cma show tonight are here. blake shelton and luke grimes are with us. [ cheers and applause ]
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they're backstage getting to know each other. then we will bring them out and they'll be delightful, i'm sure. the other big live television event tonight was the republican debate on nbc. which putting the republican debate on opposite the cma awards -- it makes no sense. [ laughter ] it's like putting lasagna up against a swedish meatball. [ laughter ] nobody's going to watch it. but the gop "dopefuls" were just happy to be on television. these are the five republicans who qualified for the debate, and yes, sadly those are the best pictures they could get. [ laughter ] every one of them looks like they're complaining to the manager of a starbucks. [ laughter ] chris christie, ron deantis, nikki haley, vivek ramaswamy, and tim scott. it's a who's who of who has no chance to beat donald trump. [ laughter ] but for these five republicans, the stakes were higher than the lifts in a pair of ron desantis' boots. [ laughter ] this is a big night. as usual, trump's absence was the elephant in the room, although trump said
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chris christie was the elephant in the room. [ laughter and moans ] he said it, i didn't. [ laughter ] but it is ridiculous to have these debates without the front-runner. the guy they're trying to beat. you know things have gone sideways when you're watching something and thinking, "i wish donald trump was there." [ laughter ] but he wasn't. he sees no point to sharing the stage with anyone and so instead, he hosted his own debate. >> tonight in an unprecedented television event, former president donald trump meets his match. former president donald trump. >> we're going to extinguish 180 million people with their private health care. >> it's the debate to end all debates. donald j. trump versus donald j. trump with no prompters. no rules. >> no -- >> the answer to the question is no -- >> no, sir -- >> no brains. >> when you look at what's going
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on -- >> divorce -- >> when you look at what's going on with alcoholism and drugs -- >> i tell you, it's a very, very -- >> the donald trump debate of donald trump, followed by biden versus biden. [ snoring ] master debation only on fox news. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's like melania's worst nightmare come true. [ laughter ] in new york today prosecutors rested their $250 million fraud case against trump, but not before calling ivanka to the stand. ivanka came in from florida, there she is. she's had a serious blowout. [ laughter ] yes, she looks lovely. like she's headed on set to shoot a commercial for pantene. [ laughter ] if you want to stay in the will, you've gotta look good! that's the rule. then she headed inside to walk the red carpet. [ laughter ] "ivanka! who are you wearing and/or testifying against?!" [ laughter ] only in the trump family does take your daughter to work day mean she's forced to testify in court. [ laughter ] on the stand, ivanka repeatedly answered, "i don't recall, i
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don't recall, i don't recall." which is a phrase she picked up from her father whenever eric asked when his birthday was. [ laughter ] [ applause ] ivanka's testimony -- they're saying that her testimony could be crucial in this case, because she's the only one of trump's kids he can identify by face. [ laughter ] last night, as she was preparing to testify, trump wrote -- "tomorrow my wonderful and beautiful daughter, ivanka, is going to the lower manhattan courthouse," which was much less effusive than what he wrote about eric and don jr. "tomorrow my dimbulb parasite sons, toothy and chinless, are going to the lower manhattan courthouse." [ laughter ] meanwhile, don jr., this poor kid is all over the place trying to -- just trying to help. he was one of the opening acts at a daddy rally in florida tonight, where attendees were offered an exciting chance to meet and greet. >> if you would like to meet donald trump jr., kimberly guilfoyle, or kari lake, please make your way to the back of the
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stadium. again, if you would like to meet donald trump jr. or kari lake or kimberly guilfoyle, please make your way to the back of the stadium right now. >> jimmy: not all at once, please, folks! [ laughter ] do not rush the stage, we don't want anybody to get hurt! [ laughter ] it's not a very good election day for the magaverse yesterday. democrats took control of the state house and senate in virginia. they held on to the governorship in deeply red kentucky, even though trump made a last-minute push for the republican candidate. "kentucky, get out and vote for daniel cameron for governor." as soon as cameron lost he wrote, "daniel cameron lost because he couldn't leave the centrist mitch mcconnell. i moved him up 25 points but the mcconnell relationship was too much to bear." so under the bus you go. [ moans and applause ] >> jimmy: he's never lost, really incredible. he wins even when he loses. voters in ohio overwhelmingly passed a measure to protect a women's right to choose.
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[ cheers and applause ] this is a thorn in the republicans' side. many pundits have speculated today why this has been such a losing issue for the republican party. but none of them put it more eloquently than lawrence jones of "fox & friends." >> what do you think the republicans need to do with their abortion messaging? >> i think it's their overall message in general. you've got to talk directly to the people. you've got to give and take on some issues. it looks like the majority of americans don't like the rape and incest thing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, that sounds right. quick show of hands -- incest, anyone? [ laughter ] ohio last night became the 24th state in the union to legalize cannabis for recreational use. [ cheers and applause ] and it's about time. the wright brothers are from ohio. neil armstrong is from ohio. people from ohio know how to get high.
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[ laughter ] i mean, not only is the word "high" in the name of the state, even the ohio state flag has a red eye staring into nothing. [ laughter ] so congratulations to them. the mypillow man, mike lindell, was keeping an eye on the election. he claims to be using a series of what he calls "wireless monitoring devices" to keep tabs on the voting. i'm pretty sure that means he bought a walkie talkie. [ laughter ] mike has a thing he does mostly on his show, which we actually are monitoring wirelessly. and during those monitoring sessions we noticed that when mike is making a point and gets excited about that point, his body makes unusual sounds. >> maybe he'll stop talking about the election platforms, eeek, wrong! what that is county in kentucky that thinks they're illegal? eeek, wrong. maybe it's a really good governor. eeek, wrong. we're making whatever mike lindell brings into kentucky illegal. eeek! what's the first thing he did, brandon? eeek! as soon as they ran out of pillows, eeek! that's for decoration, eeek!
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we just have a machine over here, eek, eek, eek, eek. something next to your house that's online, eek. all the machines, eek, eek, red alert, beep, beep, beep, beep! red alert, red alert! whoo whoo whoo! bing, deedee deedee, eee, eee, eee, eee! luther luther luther luther! [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: the guy who hates machines sure sounds a lot like one, i don't know. [ laughter ] what if he was the machine all along that he's been looking for? up in canada, saskatchewan, to be precise, there is a small town -- [ cheers ] maybe you know it. you know the town of lanigan? okay, well. [ laughter ] they're getting a new potash mine, in case you're in the market for some potash. [ laughter ] but this story, from my point of view, has little to do with potash and everything to do with the name of their mayor.
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>> no stranger to the ebbs and flows of saskatchewan's natural resources, lanigan mayor tony mycock can't understate how important this is for the province and the communities. >> it's very exciting for our community, the surrounding area. i mean, the provinces. this is a huge investment in saskatchewan. >> as excited as he is, mycock admits he's a little worried. >> in some ways it is a little scary. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah, sure. it is a little scary. you know what the scariest part is? how did we not know there was a laugh mayor mycock look like? what did those campaign lawn signs look like? "vote for mycock." [ laughter ] how could you not? it's almost unfair. this is good too. this is from new jersey, where a pre-owned vehicle had an unfortunate encounter with the local wildlife. >> troy westcott is all about dribbling and getting air.
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but the 13-year-old's jumps just cannot compete -- with this one. >> i'm wondering, where did this come from? >> a leaping deer hurtling over a car before crash landing onto this pickup truck mere moments after a guy from ocean county pulled up to buy the 2007 chevy silverado in mint condition from troy's dad. >> you promise the guy the truck's in immaculate condition and a deer comes out of nowhere and caves the side of it in. >> jimmy: deer have been getting hit by cars for almost 100 years. i think it's kind of about time it went the other way. [ laughter ] back to the cma awards. one of the biggest stars of the night with the second-most nominations this year is the artist known as jelly roll. you know jelly roll? [ cheers and applause ] jelly enjoys many gifts, he's a singer, he's a writer, he's a rapper. but the gifts that he treasures most are for christmas. so for those of you who are looking to get a jump start on
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your holiday shopping, boy, does mr. roll have a good idea for you. >> hi. i'm jelly roll. and if you're like me, finding that perfect gift for everyone on your list can be overwhelming. and that's why i'm so pleased to share a special gift that you can give to one and all. the gift of tattoos! any idiot can buy a sweater or a book, but the gift of fresh ink is a gift that lasts forever. just ask my family. >> the only gift i want from jelly roll is more time with my grandson. but when i told him he said, well [ bleep ] that, meemaw, i'm going to get you a tramp stamp. >> uncle jelly roll got me an ac/dc face tattoo. now he's not allowed within 100 yards of me. sad. >> illegal but awesome! >> my nephew, jelly roll, used to give me cigarettes for christmas.
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which i loved. but last year he gave me something even better. nipple tattoos. >> merry nips-mas! how's that tattoo coming, g.? >> it hurts so bad, mr. jelly roll. >> good, that's how you know it's working. >> that hurt also. >> this holiday season, give them a gift they'll never forget because it's permanently grafted on their skin. you're welcome. tattoos. just try to regift that [ bleep ]. tattoos available wherever they're sold, and also in prison. >> warning, excessive face tattoos may result in post malone. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, jelly and the whole roll family. we have a good show for you tonight. luke grimes is here. and we'll be right back with blake shelton.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back to the show. tonight, he's a talented actor and musician you know from a big tv show named after canary-colored rocks. his ep is called "pain pills or pews." luke grimes is with us. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, howie mandel and formula 1 driver daniel ricardo will be here with lose trick lauren daigle. please join us for that. our first guest tonight is a country music superstar. a new season of his show, "barmageddon," premieres monday night at 11:00 on usa, and tickets for his "back to the honkytonk tour" are on sale now. please welcome beautiful blake shelton. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks for being here. thanks for coming on this special night. >> in however many years i've been in this industry, i've never been introduced as the "beautiful" blake shelton. i like it, i like it. >> jimmy: i say it's high time. >> me too, thank you. >> jimmy: you look beautiful, you are beautiful inside and out, blake, i would say. [ cheers and applause ] i feel like america knows that. >> i'm going to take that in. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm glad. i'm glad you accept that because it is true. i know that about you. i know what's going on with you. i know you're a good man. by the way, cma awards, do you even know how many of them you have? >> they told me before i came out here. >> jimmy: they did. >> i thought you were going to brush on it. it's ten, right? >> jimmy: ten is right, yes. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> i thought you were going to brush on it. it's ten, right? >> jimmy: ten is right, yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> i thought ten was a good -- a good, even number to kind of walk away from those. i'm like, ten's enough, i'll stop being successful there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: although a dozen would be nice because then they could all fit in a box like perfectly. and they're very pointy. they're actually a dangerous -- they're the deadly award of all the awards. >> is that true? those american music awards, they've got a sharp edge on them. >> jimmy: they are, but the country music association award has killed more americans than any other award. [ laughter ] do you remember your first time at the cmas? >> yeah. it was -- well, the first time -- i may have been in an audience once, i can't remember which award show it was. but the first cmas that i was on was 2001. >> jimmy: 2001.
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>> and i remember i had -- i'd had a song out that had done pretty good, good enough that they asked me to come do one of those commercial bumper moments where it's like, "hey, i'm blake shelton." i got to sing like 20 seconds of the song. "tune in next for garth brooks" or whoever was coming up. and i was scared to death. >> jimmy: you were? >> just being terrified. i'd never really been on television before. and before i walked out i remember -- did you want me to tell a story? because i really just launched into one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i want to hear all about it. >> good. >> jimmy: i think it's interesting. you've been on television so much and live television, i think it makes people feel better to know you were scared. >> i was. i was standing there off to the side. and billy ray cyrus had just presented an award. >> jimmy: okay. >> and he walked over and he said -- and he introduced himself to me, which i was just in shock of that even, you know. "you all right?" and i go, "man, i'm scared to death. i'm scared to death right now to walk out there."
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he's like, "what do you mean?" "i've never been on tv and i've got to sing." he goes, "hey, man, listen. even if you do great, this is the music industry. most of those people are going their eyes anyway, man. ask this is the music industry, you need to toughen up a little bit, people make fun of you." i remember that was the pep talk. >> jimmy: that was the pep talk? [ laughter ] >> he probably doesn't remember that, but i'm telling you right now as a 23-year-old kid or whatever i was i was like, oh my god, you're right. >> jimmy: yeah, if you have a mullet, you're right. [ laughter ] >> billy had had a rough stretch at that point. >> jimmy: if you put the words "achy" and "breaky" in the title of your song, yes, people are going to make fun of you. >> true. >> jimmy: do you give people pep talks? do you ever do that? spot people and give them a little something before they go on? >> if i think they're really going to do good, i will. [ laughter ] i'll ride the wave if it's going
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good, you know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you were on "the voice" for -- and i can't believe this -- 23 seasons. [ cheers and applause ] i guess they do like two seasons a year, three seasons a year? >> is this vodka? >> jimmy: as soon as you left, your wife gwen came back to the show to do the show. [ cheers ] >> i think i'd put out there to the press, too -- because everybody wants to know, why are you quitting? why are you walking away from the show? it's like, well, for the family. [ laughter ] for more family time. then the very next announcement was, "gwen's coming back!" [ laughter ] maybe she doesn't want too much family time, i don't know. [ laughter ] money talks, okay? money talks in this industry. >> jimmy: you guys, have you coordinated that? it seems like it could have been handled better. [ laughter ] >> not really. if it shows you anything, you know -- like we're completely not involved in each other's decision-making when it comes to our careers.
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>> jimmy: yeah. >> she's gwen stefani, and that's its own machine, you know what i'm saying? >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> it's like, wait, you're going back? because i just quit. [ laughter ] i'll catch you next spring, i'll see you. >> jimmy: and the blake shelton machine is actually a tractor. it's a real machine. >> that's what i -- i mean, that's what i'm doing. i'm trying to feed the family, you know? >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> we're a single-income family now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you make videos from time to time on the tractor. i want to share one of them with the audience. >> what's up, baby? whoo! ♪ i'm writing this song as i'm planting my seed ♪ ♪ i ain't got time to stop and i might have just peed ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: are you going crazy out there? what's happening? >> that doesn't seem like a stable person there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's interesting to look into your songwriting process in that way. >> that was live as it was being
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written in the moment. [ laughter ] i give the people a glimpse what have it's like. >> jimmy: your tour starts when? "back to the tonky tonk" tour? >> it starts in february. >> jimmy: february. >> i don't know the -- [ cheers ] toward the end of february. thank you. we start over in pennsylvania, i think. >> jimmy: is that just when gwen gets home, you hit the road? [ laughter ] >> that's right, as soon as she wraps up it's like, hey, it's your turn with the kids, i gotta go to work. >> jimmy: you're starting in hershey, pennsylvania? >> hershey, yeah. i don't know that i've ever -- i played in harrisonburg over the years. i don't know if i played -- >> jimmy: you'd remember hershey, the whole town smells like chocolate. it really does. >> it really does? >> jimmy: they have a park there, hershey park. i used to go there when i was a kid sometimes. and they have, like, street lights have candy kisses on the top. people think i'm making this up. [ laughter ] it's true. >> you watched willy wonka. >> jimmy: this is like the real thing. this is the real -- yeah, you need to know this stuff. >> as if i wasn't excited enough about the tour. [ laughter ]
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now i'm fired up. i can't wait. >> jimmy: you have, correct me if i have this wrong, on this tour you have the largest bar in the history of music? >> we haven't registered yet. >> jimmy: yeah, with guinness? >> the guinness book of world records. but i'm just going to say it. it is. it is the largest bar in the history of -- [ cheers ] thank you. that's important to me in my artistry. >> jimmy: i know it is. >> that's important for me. >> jimmy: the size of the bar. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: how big is the bar? >> it's -- it's got to be, like -- it's more than half the arena. it goes three-quarters of the way out into the arena. it's my catwalk thing that i go walk out on. >> jimmy: and people could come up and get drinks? >> oh, there's peanuts, there's dollar bills. [ laughter ] yeah, it's great. >> jimmy: and you're stepping in budweiser and stuff? how that is working? >> yes. it's just -- i love it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you have a whole show. let's take a break. blake shelton is here.
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he's got a show called "barmageddon" on usa. i want to get into that one more time. we'll be right back with blake. dan: before i met your mom, i was a covert assassin. i escaped that life and now they found us. [laughs] [gunshots] [gun-cocks] jess: what the...? ♪ ice ice baby ♪ jess: who are you, james bond? ♪ all right stop ♪ i'm still the man you married. ♪ ice ice baby ♪ jess: you weren't in a band or vegan, dan. you were an assassin for hire. ♪ we all have different versions of ourselves. ♪ the family plan. now streaming on apple tv+. rated pg-13. ♪ ♪ i used the wrong paint. ♪ snickers satisfies.
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how are you doing between practices? i feel pretty good. surrounding myself with a great team. de'aaron we're going to take a quick look at your knee with ultrasound. everything is looking great. but not just for me. for them. it's great to see you again man. thanks jb. for all that is me, for all that is you, kaiser permanente.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. we're back with blake shelton. season 2 of your show -- >> we've got a second season. >> jimmy: you've got a second season out of the show. it's a fun idea. you and carson daly, your pal from "the voice," my old friend,
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came up with this idea where you get celebrities competing defense each other in bar games. >> carson's so stupid, by the way. [ laughter ] you've got to literally -- he started to -- i know him so well. he started texting me this morning because you guys were talking. he thinks he's tricking me. he's like, "oh, man, jimmy's excited you're going to be on the show tomorrow." wanting me to take the bait that i'm supposed to be on the show tomorrow. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i see. >> at first i was like -- oh -- no, i think that's -- oh. oh, idiot. he sent another one, "maybe y'all can go to dinner tomorrow after the show." >> jimmy: so he was trying to sabotage your booking on this show. >> he's such an idiot. [ laughter ] you know what i mean? you know. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yes, we came up with the idea. we were actually -- i think i've told this story. but we were hanging out on the set of "the voice" during the covid days when the crews were stripped down. took forever between setups. so carson and i would be drinking in one of our dressing
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rooms, waiting for the next setup. you know that show, there's a show on called "holey moley." >> jimmy: yeah, right, on abc. >> i'm going to be sued for talking about it. i said, "man, wouldn't that show be next-level good if they were drunk?" it would be so much funnier, right? that is literally -- >> jimmy: what show wouldn't be better if everyone was drunk, if you think about it. >> i know it. >> jimmy: the games that you guys -- there's a game called sharding. [ laughter ] which is provocative. >> you can play that with people in the room or home alone. >> jimmy: why is it called sharding? >> i like sharding, when you're playing it you're sharding. sharts, it's stupid. darts mixed with the name shelton. that's about as creative as we get on "barmageddon."
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[ laughter ] >> how can we say something ridiculous? how can we get away with calling it sharts? >> jimmy: in fairness you guys are hammered. >> right. >> jimmy: there is an excuse there. >> most of the games on the show, it's -- first the name of it is thought of, then there's a game invented because we want to be able to say sharts or just the tip or whatever the name of the game might be. [ laughter ] you guys are dying to see our show now. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: then you have the celebrities come in. >> yeah. >> jimmy: like kelly clarkson plays against michelle rodriguez. >> by the way, kelly, if you've ever wondered what kelly clarkson is like when she's been drinking a lot, you've got to watch monday. she's -- i mean, it's -- she is drunk. [ laughter ] by the end of the show, i don't care if she gets mad at me for saying this. i got what i needed out of her. [ laughter ] she's already been on the show, i got her on the show, so we're good now. wasted on "barmageddon." >> jimmy: you compete against your wife, gwen, on the show as
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well. [ cheers ] are you actually competitive when you compete against gwen or anyone? >> i try to be. that's the funny thing about gwen. in the entire amount of time that i've known her now, i've never known her, own on "the voice," to be competitive. she's more of the supportive person with her contestants. i've never seen her as super competitive. until she plays against me on "barmageddon." all of a sudden it's like, you know, flipping me off. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> really close to my face. >> jimmy: did it carry over at all into your home life? >> i've never heard her say "let's go" like tom brady. she's never said "let's go" before, now she's saying "let's go." >> jimmy: i need to ask you a story, you told a small magazine a story about the fact that you had a pet raccoon when you were a teenager. >> you really do your research here. >> jimmy: we do. how did you get a pet raccoon? >> well, i lived out in oklahoma. it wasn't hard to come by. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: but this is like a raccoon you put a leash around. >> yeah we raised the thing from a baby. like bottle fed it. raised it. and at the time, i remember -- i can't believe we're talking about this. [ laughter ] at the time, wine coolers were very popular. they were on all the -- >> jimmy: bartles and james, right. >> i named my raccoon seagrams. the reason i was probably talking about this, because there's a picture of me floating around out there on the internet. i was on the cover of the ada evening news. ada, oklahoma. there it is right there. with my raccoon. [ audience: aww ] some lady -- i was walking down the street with my dog and my raccoon, like you do in ada, oklahoma. [ laughter ] she stopped, "oh my god, is that raccoon just following you?" "no, it's my pet." she took a picture, they put it on the cover of the newspaper. >> jimmy: wow, you were destined
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for fame, even from a young age. now you have given a special gift to carson daly's daughter, who happens to be my goddaughter. you gave her this beautiful -- and i don't know if this is seagram? this actual -- >> that's an actual taxidermied -- that's not seagram. i don't raise pets to then have them taxidermied. that seems a little too far. i did give that -- that was at my house randomly, and carson was at the house and london, his middle daughter, just fell in love with this thing. it's like, "what is wrong with your kid?" [ laughter ] holding it and petting it. they were there for -- it was a week they came and stayed with us. by the time they were going to leave i was like, "she's got to take this thing, it's going to break her heart." dressing it, putting clothes on it. [ laughter ] that picture is in carson's house. it lives at carson's house now. >> jimmy: yeah. >> he's been able to get away with never having to buy his kids a pet. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: because of -- >> yeah, he's like, "oh my god,
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man, they're so into this taxidermmied raccoon." >> jimmy: did you name this pet? >> no. >> jimmy: it's famous raccoony. >> my cousin michael taxidermmied that 30 years ago. >> jimmy: beautifully done, cousin michael. who would have gone. well, you are -- you know what you're the real deal, blake shelton. >> you're right, i am beautiful on the inside. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: at least you're not stuffed on the inside. blake shelton. "barmageddon" monday at 11:00 on usa. "back to the tonky tonk" show, tickets are on sale now. we'll be back with luke grimes!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ what is your number one tourist complaint about hollywood? >> i guess -- i'm from new york, so people walk too slow on the sidewalks. >> traffic for sure. >> probably the heat.
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>> the streets stink. >> how would you describe it? >> human pee. >> human pee? >> maybe a little bit of horse, too, but i don't see any horses so humans, yeah. >> human pee? >> human pee. >> lou: come visit beautiful hollywood, california, where it smells like -- >> human pee. maybe a little bit of horse, too. with skyrizi to treat my skin and joints, i'm getting into my groove. ♪(uplifting music)♪ along with significantly clearer skin... skyrizi helps me move with less joint pain, stiffness, swelling, and fatigue. and is just 4 doses a year, after 2 starter doses. skyrizi attaches to and reduces a source of excess inflammation that can lead to skin and joint symptoms. with skyrizi 90% clearer skin and less joint pain are possible. serious allergic reactions and an increased
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please welcome luke grimes. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> doing very well, man. thanks for having me back. >> jimmy: great to have you. last time you were here, it was cma night, it was a year a. >> yes. >> jimmy: you at that time told me you were working on some music, you were recording some music, writing some songs. now it's this album. is this the album that you were working on at that time? >> it is, yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: just to be clear, is it "pain pills or pews"? or "pain, pills or pews?" >> pain, pills, or pews. four words. >> jimmy: one of the gals who works here, i won't mention her name but it's clare -- [ laughter ] thought pews were the sound that the laser gun in "star wars"
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makes. >> she's not the only one. >> jimmy: is that right? other people? >> yeah. which i think that would be pew pews. >> jimmy: it's not just one. >> pews squared. >> jimmy: like a stormtrooper with a lot of restraint. pew! [ laughter and applause ] you have obviously a very successful acting career. and here's what i was thinking about when i was thinking about you and this music career. does this now, because you are a successful, famous actor, put, in your opinion, more pressure on you when you decide you want to record an album and tour with that album? >> that's how i felt. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i mean, my big fear was that people were going to be like, why is that guy from that show doing music now? >> jimmy: yeah. >> or i would come across as i was having a midlife crisis or something. >> jimmy: are you? >> yes. [ laughter ] pray for me. >> jimmy: people have them. >> pray for me. >> jimmy: go kneel in a pew, pew and pray for them. [ laughter ] yeah, it's one thing if nobody
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knows who you are and you record songs and then people aren't interested. well just kind of whatever you do. but it's another thing, it's a big swing when you're you. >> yeah. thanks for bringing that up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> i think about that a lot. >> jimmy: it indicates to me that this is something that you really wanted to do. is this something you really, really wanted to do? >> absolutely, man. i've been playing music since i was a kid. you know, both of the dreams were sort of simultaneous. and acting just sort of paid the bills and then i had this opportunity. i thought, you know, i could sit here and worry what everybody's going to think about it or i could give it a shot. >> jimmy: what a funny day job to have, actor. "yeah, i act for a living but [ laughter ] musician." you've been playing in front of some big crowds. in fact, i think we have a photograph here -- [ cheers ] from a festival in montana where you live. that is a lot people. what's it like playing in front
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of -- going from acting in front of a camera, maybe a couple of guys, to playing in front of all those people? >> it's a lot of energy, man. it's a lot of -- yeah, it's kind of like getting electrocuted or something. and about ten times during that set i thought, i hope my zipper isn't down. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that right? >> there's a lot of people looking at me right now. it's a big fear of mine. >> jimmy: was that your first big crowd, this show? >> no. i played "stagecoach" was the first show we ever booked. >> jimmy: you're playing "stagecoach" this year? >> yeah. they're letting me come back. not too bad. >> jimmy: that's going to be a big deal. [ applause ] i was looking at the lineup river think willie nelson's playing. >> you're a willie fan? >> jimmy: oh, yeah, who isn't, really? do you know willie at all? >> never met him. >> jimmy: hopefully you'll visit the bus. don't visit the bus before you perform. [ laughter ] >> no, no. i don't think hot boxing is the way -- i'm already nervous enough. >> jimmy: you'll think all those people are going to kill you. [ laughter ]
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>> yeah. >> jimmy: and the other artists, have you been -- i think that was a music festival, right? have you, like -- did you feel welcomed by them, by the other musician in this. >> yeah, anyone i've met in person has been really supportive and really sweet about it. i'm sure there's people that have their judgments or whatever. but everyone in the country music community and nashville, it's a really good group of people, really sweet. >> jimmy: you're about to go on tour. your first kind of big tour, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: and you're going to -- you're going to go perform in your hometown? >> yeah. not my hometown, but home state. i'm actually flying tonight to ohio, or tomorrow. >> jimmy: oh, hey, they just -- [ cheers ] yeah, they just legalized weed there. yeah, they did, they had a big vote. they voted to legalize weed. >> only 20 years after colorado. [ cheers ] right on time. >> jimmy: are you more or less comfortable playing in front of people you know? >> we'll see. i've never played in front of anybody -- >> jimmy: you haven't? >> this is the first time. >> jimmy: will you be getting a lot of ticket requests and that kind of thing? >> oh, yeah.
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a lot of weird people reaching out that i haven't talked to in 20 years. people from high school. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> cousins i didn't know i had. >> jimmy: they all still got your phone number? >> i don't know how they got my phone number. >> jimmy: you get a text from an unknown number, it's cousin jerry or something like that? >> it happens a lot. >> jimmy: actually, grab your home. i would be happy to respond to some of those texts. [ laughter ] >> it's in the back. >> jimmy: guillermo, go get his phone. we're going to make a reunion very, very uncomfortable. >> please don't. it's already going to be uncomfortable. >> jimmy: blake shelton had a pet raccoon when he was 13 years old. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you have anything like that? >> not that cool, man, that's pretty awesome. >> jimmy: i do have a great photograph of you as a kid. >> oh. >> jimmy: this is -- i think you're 14, are you 14 years old here? can we zoom in on what the book is? the shorts are pretty great. [ laughter ] >> very large. >> jimmy: yeah, that was the style, i guess. "your film acting career." [ laughter ] is that how you figured it out?
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>> yeah, yeah. apparently all you need to do is buy that book. take an emotional beating for about 20 years. then go on "jimmy kimmel live." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: did you, like, get any information that actually helped you and that you used from that book? >> i learned what a s.a.g. card was. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> that's about it. >> jimmy: that's it, all right. you got -- when you come back, you're going to play a song for us. what song are you going to do tonight? >> a song called "burn." >> jimmy: is this one you wrote? >> yes. >> jimmy: what's it about? >> getting burnt by a relationship. >> jimmy: oh. oh, oh! >> sorry, guys. [ laughter ] not a happy one. >> jimmy: well, listen. it gives us a little context as we see you when you come back. this is the album. it's "pain, pills, or pews." make no mistake, it's a four-word thing. it's out now.
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when we come back we'll have music from luke grimes so stick around! but we're just getting started. everything going well? oh yeah. let's take a look at this knee. because it's the work behind the scenes, that truly matters. [ physical therapy staff discusses results ]
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for your mind. for your body. and for the community. -team! for all that is me, for all that is you. kaiser permanente. >> jimmy: thanks to blake shelton, apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is coming up.
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but first, this is his ep. it's called "pain pills or pews." here with the song "burn," luke grimes! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ warning signs everywhere i know i'm playin' with fire girl ♪ ♪ i just don't care see the flames in your eyes ♪ ♪ when i wind up hurt know the fault's all mine ♪ ♪ ain't no sense in tryna hold you tight if i'm a bridge ♪ ♪ you're tryna cross tonight ♪ ♪ let it burn 'til i'm a pile of ashes smokin' ♪ ♪ on your good night dirt rip that rearview off girl and do
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what you do ♪ ♪ you were gone from the start ♪ ♪ so if this breakin' my heart's just a lesson i gotta learn ♪ ♪ when it's time to run light me up and let me burn ♪ ♪ ♪ i'd be lyin' to the world if i said i didn't ♪ ♪ want you to stay here girl 'til you're gone hold me tight ♪ ♪ 'til i'm standin' in the red of your tail light ♪ ♪ truth is i don't wanna let go ♪ ♪ when it's time for the rubber to meet the road ♪ ♪ let it burn 'til i'm a pile of ashes smokin' ♪ ♪ on your goodbye dirt rip that
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rearview off girl and do what you do ♪ ♪ you were gone from the start ♪ ♪ so if this breakin' my heart's just a lesson i gotta learn ♪ ♪ when it's time to run light me up and let me burn ♪ ♪ ♪ yeah let me burn when too good to be true turns to hurts like hell ♪ ♪ and it's just me and that whiskey bottle on the shelf ♪ ♪ let it burn 'til i'm a pile of ashes smokin' ♪ ♪ on your goodbye dirt rip that rearview off girl and do what you do ♪ ♪ you were gone from the start ♪ ♪ so if this breakin' my heart's just a lesson i gotta learn ♪
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♪ when it's time to run light me up and let me burn ♪ ♪ ♪ yeah let me burn ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this is "nightline." >> byron: tonight, the forever war? as war between israel and hamas rages on, the white house saying serious negotiations are under way for a new

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