Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 3, 2024 11:35pm-12:38am PST

11:35 pm
previously on "jimmy kimmel live" -- ♪ silent night holy night ♪ [ dog screaming ] [ laughter ]
11:36 pm
>> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- keegan-michael key -- charles melton -- and music from lainey wilson -- with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. hi, everyone. very nice, thanks. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us here in beautiful los angeles, california, which according to a new report is the 19th most popular tourist destination in the world. they just released the "top 100 city index," and we came in 19th behind vienna. which is a bunch of bullschnitzel. [ laughter ] have you been to vienna? >> guillermo: no, never.
11:37 pm
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know that room in your grandmother's house, that no one was ever allowed to go into? the one where nothing ever gets touched, except to dust it? that's vienna. [ laughter ] they do have good little sausages though. the number one city of the year is paris. followed by dubai, madrid, tokyo, and amsterdam. which is ridiculous. none of those cities even have a restaurant owned by a real housewife. [ laughter ] in washington, d.c., which checked in at number 48, president biden got a visit from president zelenskyy of ukraine today. this poor guy zelenskyy is fighting for his life, has to come here to beg these idiots for money. it got a little awkward. apparently, for a minute, biden forgot who he was meeting with, and offered to zero out zelensky's student loan balance. [ laughter ] it was something, i guess. zelensky also stopped by the capitol to meet with chuck schumer and mitch mcconnell. what a threesome. [ laughter ] like an elderly same-sex couple showing their nephew around the country club. [ laughter and applause ]
11:38 pm
zelensky met with all 100 u.s. senators today to ask for additional funding, more humanitarian aid, and to show ted cruz how to grow a beard. [ laughter ] and while biden and zelensky were busy trying to sell congress on funding for ukraine, our former president is looking for some funding too. >> hi, everyone. this is your favorite president, donald j. trump, with some very exciting news. my last two trump digital trading card collections sold out in just hours. and now i'm back with my latest series called the mugshot edition. i wonder where that came from, the mugshot edition. 47 all-new stunning cards. and here is the best part. for the first time we're creating a real physical trump card. purchase 47 digital cards, and we'll mail you a beautiful trading card. it is an authentic piece of the suit i wore when i took that now-famous mugshot.
11:39 pm
and it was a great suit, believe me, a really good suit. all cut up and you're going to get a piece of it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, what a deal, wow. the cards cost $99 each. if you buy them all all 47 of them for the low, low price of $4,653.00 plus tax, you'll get a postage stamp size piece of the suit he wore on the day he was arrested. for the fourth time. [ laughter ] he's calling it "the most historically significant artifact in united states history." isn't that something? [ laughter ] there are only 13 original copies of the constitution. and only who knows how many fabric swatches from a xxxl fat guy suit. >> some people call these cards pop art or modern art. i wish i look as good as i do in those cards, that i tell you. they give me muscles where, believe me, i don't have them. >> jimmy: we believe you. [ laughter ] what is going on? our former president -- this genius just re-invented garbage pail kids. [ laughter ]
11:40 pm
>> don't miss out. go to collecttrumpcards.com. go right now and collect your own exclusive piece of american history. and we'll all have fun together. have a good life. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we're trying. you won't let us. [ laughter ] [ applause ] he's the most shameless person in the history of the world, probably. by summer you'll be able to buy his adult diapers out of a vending machine. [ laughter ] the website is good too. it has an incredible quote. trump says, "the people that are buying these trump digital trading cards are new friends of mine, more than anything else." [ laughter ] and then we get to meet some of these friends who are lucky enough to get invited to a dinner with trump at mar-a-lago, including "poon s" from singapore, "martha n" from ireland, "carl e" from estonia and "jumo g" from australia. sounds like a hell of a party! [ laughter ] there are rave reviews of the dinner.
11:41 pm
alan f. of florida said, "blackened mushrooms and trump wine, i came alone." no kidding. [ laughter ] you don't say, alan. i assumed you'd be crawling with lady friends. "the president called us collectors part of his family." poor eric. [ laughter ] he never heard that. in new york, the defense rested their case in trump's $250 million fraud trial. now we focus on the case related to january 6th, which is scheduled to go to trial in march. trump has been trying to delay the trial by claiming he has presidential immunity. so the special counsel is taking the unusual action of going straight to the supreme court for a decision. and we also learned that the trial will include data taken from trump's phone. you think it's bad when your girlfriend goes through your phone? [ laughter ] imagine how much worse it is when this guy does it. [ moans and applause ] like an assistant principal from the year 3000.
11:42 pm
congressman matt gaetz was in ohio giving a speech at the strongsville gop christmas party, where he received quite an honor there. >> let's go get 'em, thank you all so much. >> matt gaetz, we have an award for you. my name is mike goode with the strongsville gop. the 2023 strongsville gop board. >> thank you so much. >> congratulations for your dedication, the award for allegedly paying for underage girls to have sex -- >> you're so full of it. >> thank you all so much. >> jimmy: he's happy he got it. an award is an award! that guy is a prankster named michael picard. he calls himself the professional douche. well done michael! heroes really do come in all shapes and sizes.
11:43 pm
[ applause ] christmas is less than two weeks away. this is that magical time of year when the right wingnuts come out of the woodwork to fight the many imaginary "wars on christmas." this year they've got a new made-up reason to be outraged. >> gay nutcracker, complete with a rainbow head, a trans flag. >> a gay nutcracker? it doesn't make sense. you have to ask yourself, why do they keep pushing this? >> they're going after the innocence of our children. >> gay nutcracker. >> gay nutcracker. >> and black disabled santa. >> black santa in a wheelchair. >> black santa in a wheelchair. >> santa in the wheelchair. >> let's be honest, if you're a gay man and you have any semblance of taste, you do not have a gay pride nutcracker in your house, okay? >> hm, okay. >> jimmy: okay, fingers on the pulse. obviously they're making a big deal out of nothing. but i wanted to go to the source to see how they see this. so joining us now live from the holiday aisle at kohl's is a gay nutcracker. hello, mr. nutcracker. [ cheers and applause ]
11:44 pm
>> please, mr. nutcracker was my father. call me gay. >> jimmy: okay. all right, gay. i just have a couple of questions, and i appreciate your time. i guess my first question is, are gay nutcrackers, like yourself, bothered by what fox news and this right-wing outrage media have been saying? >> i mean -- not really. i'd say we're more confused than anything. i mean, first off, "gay nutcracker" is redundant. all nutcrackers are gay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, they are? >> of course! we're a bunch of fit older men with perfect posture wearing bedazzled uniforms and knee-high boots. [ laughter ] open your eyes, you dink! >> jimmy: i guess i didn't think of it that way. >> yeah, well. >> jimmy: it does seem silly that they're getting so worked up about things like jen call-neutral potato heads and inclusive christmas decorations. >> i know, right? and just wait until they find out about elf on the shelf!
11:45 pm
>> jimmy: oh, what about the elf on the shelf? >> he's bi. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he is? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how do you know that? >> how do i know? how do you not know? i mean, get a load of that face. [ laughter ] he looks like he's keeping a secret he can't wait to tell you. hey, fox news alert, pretty much every christmas character is gay. >> jimmy: well, that's not true. >> oh, it isn't, jimmy? >> jimmy: no. >> let's do a little roll call, shall me? the grinch -- decides to steal christmas, the first thing he does is sew him and his dog flirty little outfits. [ laughter ] frosty -- completely obsessed with his birthday. and totally comes alive thanks to a fashion accessory. the heatmiser -- obvi. [ laughter ] hermey the elf -- clean-cut twink with perfect teeth. linus -- sorry, sally. not interested. [ laughter ] rudolph -- won't you lead my sleigh? honey, this queen's been slaying since day one. [ laughter ] and there's joseph -- >> jimmy: wait, joseph of mary and joseph? >> yeah. that's the guy, jimmy.
11:46 pm
why do you think they needed an immaculate conception? [ laughter ] joseph was the only guy in bethlehem with two beards. the one on his face, and mary. [ laughter ] oh, sorry, one sec, hold the line, everyone. >> jimmy: what's happening? >> aw, chestnuts, frank gets all the breaks that lucky bitch. [ laughter ] anyway i gotta go, we're having company. >> jimmy: who's we? >> me and my boyfriend "black santa in a wheelchair." [ laughter ] >> ho ho ho jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow, ho ho ho to you, santa. what a treat. santa, i hope you don't mind me asking. how did you wind up in a wheelchair? >> i fought in the war on christmas. [ laughter ] >> i love a man in uniform. >> jimmy: i have to say -- i don't think newsmax is going to like that you two are a couple. >> oh what? they don't approve of a "gay nutcracker" and a "disabled black santa" occasionally "doing it"? >> in the candy aisle on top of the peppermint bark? >> and the gum drops? >> and in front of the animatronic reindeer. >> oh and on top of the
11:47 pm
animatronic reindeer. >> ride of my life, baby. [ laughter ] >> anyway. >> jimmy: it looks like your guests have arrived. >> these are our friends. gender-swapped jesus and the three wise thems. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: nice to meet you. happy holidays to all of you. i think fox just got 12 more nights of programming out of this. >> yeah, thanks, everyone. >> hey, tell fox news they can eat our nuts! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'll pass that along. thank you. thank you, gay nutcracker and disabled black santa. [ cheers and applause ] that's a nut full of rolls. we've got a good show for you tonight. from "may december," charles melton is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] we have music tonight from lainey wilson. we'll be right back with keegan-michael key so stick around!
11:48 pm
i love your dress. oh thanks! i splurged a little because liberty mutual customized my car insurance and i saved hundreds. that's great. i know, right? i've been telling everyone. baby: liberty. did you hear that? ty just said her first word. can you say “mama”? baby: liberty. can you say “auntie”? baby: liberty. how many people did you tell? only pay for what you need. jingle: ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ baby: ♪ liberty. ♪ i'm adding downy unstopables to my wash. now i'll be smelling fresh all day long. [sniff] still fresh. ♪ get 6x longer-lasting freshness, plus odor protection. try for under $5! can i get the 10 piece chicken mcnuggets? wait, no, big mac. hmm. [cars honking] sir? i'm still here! [bubble pops] get one favorite like a big mac ♪ or 10 piece chicken mcnuggets ♪ and get another for just a buck. ♪
11:49 pm
right now at mcdonald's. ♪ to help protect from hiv. i prep without pills. with apretude, a prescription medicine used to reduce the risk of hiv without daily prep pills. with one shot every other month, just 6 times a year. in studies, apretude was proven superior to a daily prep pill in reducing the risk of hiv. you must be hiv negative to receive apretude and get tested before each injection. if you think you were exposed to hiv or have flu-like symptoms, tell your doctor right away. apretude does not prevent other sexually transmitted infections. practice safer sex to reduce your risk. don't take apretude if you're allergic to it or taking certain medicines, as they may interact. tell your doctor if you've had liver problems or mental health concerns. if you have a rash or other allergic reactions, stop apretude and get medical help right away.
11:50 pm
serious side effects include allergic reactions, liver problems, and depression. some of the most common side effects include injection-site reactions and headache. you must receive apretude as scheduled. ask your doctor about long-acting apretude. and prep without pills. save at apretude.com how do i do it all? with a little help. and to support my family's immune health, i choose airborne. it has an unbeatable amount of vitamin c, plus a unique blend of immune focused ingredients to turn up our immune support. airborne juliana, big mac, no pickles, extra special sauce. and jimena, quarter pounder with cheese, extra pickles, no onions. thanks dad! ♪ you got it! ♪ [bubble pops] ♪ buy one favorite like a big mac, ♪ and get another for just a buck. ♪
11:51 pm
right now at mcdonald's. ♪ (♪) it's that feeling when you're at disneyland resort. now, kids 3-9 can visit a disneyland resort theme park with a limited-time kids' special ticket offer. (♪)
11:52 pm
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. tonight, a very talented actor, his critically acclaimed movie is called "may december." charles melton is with us. [ cheers and applause ] this is the biggest award in all of country music, cma entertainer of the year for 2023. she's now up for two grammys, including one for this album, "bell bottom country." music from lainey wilson. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night carey mulligan and alan ritchson will join us, with music from sleater-kinney. so please join us, too. our first guest is a man of multiple talents who stars opposite timothee chalamet in the new family musical, "wonka." it's in theaters starting friday. please welcome keegan-michael key.
11:53 pm
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i had the pleasure of seeing you on sunday. >> yes. >> jimmy: at a memorial-type event for norman lear. >> norman lear, the great norman lear. he will be missed. >> jimmy: i love that you were friends with norman. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: how did you initially meet him? >> i initially met norman at an awards ceremony. there was some -- tv land was doing some icon award ceremony. they were giving a lifetime achievement award to norman. and i remember he met elle, my wife. they were talking with each other and having a good time. talking about being jewish, how jewish jokes work, everything like that. at the end he invited us to the house, he was like, "i want to see you again, you should come over sometime, bring the jew." [ laughter ]
11:54 pm
which was perfect norman, you know what i mean? >> jimmy: absolutely. and thank you, by the way, for playing our differently abled santa claus. [ cheers and applause ] >> of course. >> jimmy: norman would have enjoyed that. >> norman would have really enjoyed that, yes. it was the role of a lifetime for me. >> jimmy: had you played santa before? >> that was my -- was that my first santa'ing? i'm trying to think -- i played santa once on mad tv a long time ago, probably yeah, just the regular black santa, not the gay black santa. [ laughter ] this is a step up. >> jimmy: who knows what's next? >> right, exactly. >> jimmy: how's your holiday shopping going? i mean, are you guys doing hanukkah, like all the presents? >> we're doing -- let's say we're doing all the lights. >> jimmy: okay. >> we're doing all the lights. >> jimmy: that's for the kids? >> that's for the kids, yeah. yeah, so we've got nephews that we have to catch up on. >> jimmy: you do, yeah.
11:55 pm
>> we've still got gifts. >> jimmy: does that apply to not just your own kids but all the kids in the family each get a separately wrapped item eight times? [ laughter ] >> i should open my own store, yeah. >> jimmy: you should open a store. >> chanukah chanukah harry's workshop. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you and your wife elle, you put out a book this year. >> yes. >> jimmy: really good. it's "the history of sketch comedy." i know you've talked a lot about the book. i really enjoyed it. is it appropriate for you to give the book as a gift for the holidays? >> what's interesting about the book, if you have a good book, then people, they request it. >> jimmy: i see. >> they want the book. they want it signed and personalized, stuff like that. we've been okay with it. >> jimmy: it's a nice detail. i feel they should buy the book first. [ laughter ] then you can sign it. >> sign it, right, exactly. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know, you're in that book. >> jimmy: i know i'm in the book. >> you're in the book because it was -- elle, i remember when she was thinking about your feud with matt damon. >> jimmy: yeah.
11:56 pm
>> she was thinking about that it reminded her of the feud between jack benny and fred allen, who were -- jack benny was a comedian from the '40s and '50s. he had a feud -- that was a clapper. [ laughter ] there was somebody here who's 97 years old. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, that -- no, that -- i have to say, i did not know about that. and i was very flattered to be put in that category. >> right, right. >> jimmy: the difference is, matt damon's not funny. [ laughter ] so i don't know that he belongs in it. [ cheers and applause ] but i graciously, graciously accept. yeah -- >> a long-running feud. fred allen started it. he was the guy that started talking about jack benny being cheap and stingy. instead of jack benny saying, that's not me, i'm not like that. instead of doing that, he went the opposite way. he wrote that joke about being cheap, about the guy, "your money or your life." you know, "i'm thinking." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it is great, yeah.
11:57 pm
well, hey. thank you for including me. >> yeah. >> jimmy: whenever i get a book, i do, i got to the back and i look for my name. if i'm not in it, i throw it right in the garbage. [ laughter ] congratulations on your detroit lions. >> i know. [ cheers and applause ] how about the lions, right? that's right. detroit! >> jimmy: passion. >> i'm just going to vibe with this girl right here. because i've got a detroiter out there. >> jimmy: also, you deserve a little joy after being a lions fan, because it's been so long. >> so long. right now we've got the best record we've had in 60 years. 60 years. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: wow. what year were the lions established? >> 1930 -- >> jimmy: 9-4, right? >> 9-4 right now, which is really hard for me to accept. i'm having a hard time dealing -- it's a sunday, and we could win. [ laughter ] we might actually win this game! then they keep winning games. and i'm not even sure what to do with it. >> jimmy: you've been going to some of these games? >> i've been going to the games recently, yeah.
11:58 pm
we went to a game a couple of years ago, elle made this plan to go to this game in minnesota. watch them play the vikings. we found out barry sanders was going to be at the game. barry sanders is my hero. >> jimmy: i bet. >> straight up my hero, barry sanders, right. [ cheers and applause ] one of the greatest running backs of all-time. absolutely my hero. she found out he was going to be at the game. she said, everybody please, don't tell keegan, let it be a surprise to keegan. so we land, we get there, everybody's being quiet. mum's the word. i'm on the sidelines. and barry sanders is like 15 steps away from me. and he's walking toward me. and somebody goes, "keegan, barry sanders is here." >> jimmy: no, no! >> right as he came up, right as he came up. >> jimmy: did you clench up, did you choke? >> i did not handle it well. i didn't handle it well. what i did -- i was like -- first of all, there was this weird -- i'm like mr. overfamiliarity. i'm just like, "heeeeey!
11:59 pm
there he is!" then you do the roman centurion hug. you go in for this. >> jimmy: yeah, then you -- oh, and then you connect, yeah. >> you don't know what to do with this so you're going -- then i let go of the arm. i went in for the hug-hug. >> jimmy: oh, right. >> the full hug. then i hold on way too long. [ laughter ] way too long. barry was a great sport about it. >> jimmy: i feel that anybody could break out of that hug, it's barry sanders. he probably was okay with it. >> then i got to sit with him for the rest of the game, you know what i mean? >> jimmy: it's funny, isn't that weird? there's a guy that, if somebody told you when you were a kid, you would sit with barry sanders for the entirety of a game, you'd be like, oh my god, i can't wait for this to happen. then when it happens you're like, this is very tense, i just need to get out of here and tell my friends i saw him. [ laughter ] >> right, exactly. >> jimmy: right? >> this is entirely too much for me, right. >> jimmy: did you make chitchat with barry? >> i did remember -- he's a very
12:00 am
staid guy, which is nice. he's very low-key, which is the opposite of how -- he was dynamite on the field. >> jimmy: yeah. >> in real life he's really, really low-key. we did chitchat. he watches football the way any regular person watches football. if the defense is coming in for a sack, "get there, get there, get there, get there." i'm like, "oh, that's what i do." [ laughter ] "i do the same thing!" >> jimmy: did you ask him why he retired, why he left without explanation? >> i didn't. i thought it would be too sore of a subject. now -- >> jimmy: it wasn't, it was totally his decision. >> right, that's true. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's just that he was at the height of his powers. >> jimmy: it's one of the great mysteries in sport. yeah, okay, i did it, i'm done. he could have broken every record. >> every single one. i think to a point where nobody would have caught him, know what i mean? he let that record sit there and like you said, went out on his own terms. i guess that's the best -- that's the most baller thing you could do. >> jimmy: what happens if the lions go to the super bowl? will you go? >> i'm sorry, the what? [ laughter ] the lions are at the super bowl?
12:01 am
if the lions are at the super bowl sitting in the stands? [ laughter ] watching the game? >> jimmy: no, no. like they're invited to be on the field to compete against the other team. >> i don't think i understand what you're saying. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'll explain as it gets closer. >> as it gets closer. >> jimmy: i know you do a the love great impressions. i wonder, have you ever done an impression of yourself? because what i would love to see is an impression -- you doing an impression of yourself watching the lions win the super bowl. >> oh, okay. an impression of me watching the lions win the super bowl. >> jimmy: yes. >> okay. all right. i have to prepare. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, yeah. you're not dressed right, but imagine it. >> here we go. hm. aahh-haaaaa-haaaaaa, oh my god! oh my god! oh my god! oh my god! oh! ha ha ha! oh my god!
12:02 am
oh my god! >> jimmy: oh my goodness. we're going to get some medical attention. keegan-michael key is here. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back! >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by myfitnesspal. the number one global nutrition and food-tracking app. 3 out of % clearer skin at 4 months. and skyrizi is just 4 doses a year after 2 starter doses. serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine, or plan to. nothing on my skin means everything! ♪ nothing is everything ♪ ask your dermatologist about skyrizi. learn how abbvie could help you save. juliana, big mac, no pickles, extra special sauce. and jimena, quarter pounder with cheese, extra pickles, no onions. thanks dad! ♪ you got it! ♪ [bubble pops] ♪ buy one favorite like a big mac, ♪
12:03 am
and get another for just a buck. ♪ right now at mcdonald's. ♪ how white do you think your teeth really are? and get another for just a buck. let's try the tissue test. ooof, still yellow. whitening toothpaste can only do so much. there's toothpaste white, and there's crest 3d whitestrips white. so much whiter! crest. ♪ making your way in the world today ♪ ♪ takes everything you've got. ♪ ♪ you wanna be where you can see... ♪ ♪ troubles are all the same. ♪ ♪ you wanna go where everybody knows your name. ♪ they're grrreat!
12:04 am
we're still going for that nice catch. we're still going for that sweet shot. and with higher stroke risk from afib not caused by a heart valve problem, we're going for a better treatment than warfarin. eliquis. eliquis reduces stroke risk. and has less major bleeding. over 97% of eliquis patients did not experience a stroke. don't stop taking eliquis without talking to your doctor as this may increase your risk of stroke. eliquis can cause serious and in rare cases fatal bleeding. don't take eliquis if you have an artificial heart valve
12:05 am
or abnormal bleeding. while taking, you may bruise more easily or take longer for bleeding to stop. get help right away for unexpected bleeding, or unusual bruising. it may increase your bleeding risk if you take certain medicines. tell your doctor about all planned medical or dental procedures. the number one cardiologist-prescribed blood thinner. we're going for it. ask your doctor about eliquis.
12:06 am
if this is about abigail -- >> i've got a message for you, pal. do not sell chocolate in this town! you got it? >> i have water in my ears.
12:07 am
>> oh. yeah, okay. that makes sense. listen, i'm sorry. i'm all out of whack. truth is, i don't want to be doing this. >> i don't want you to be doing this. >> but i still gotta give you a message. sell chocolate in this town again, you're going to get more than a bonk on the head. >> i don't have a bonk on the head. >> what is with me today? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is keegan-michael key, with timothee chalamet in "wonka." i watched it with my kids, they went crazy for it. your choice of accent for a cop in london was a new york cop. [ laughter ] >> i know. i told the director, "i can do a british accent." [ speaking in british accent ] if you want me to do a british accent, i can do it. >> jimmy: of course you can. >> if you want me to be british, i can do it, i can be british. he's like, "no, let's do something more cop-ish."
12:08 am
he didn't want him to be a police officer, he wanted him to be a cop. so we decided to go with this kind of brooklyny thing, sounding more like that, although i don't sound like anybody else in the movie, i mean, what are you gonna do? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's very good, though. i'm usually very critical of a brooklyn accent, but you got it right, you nailed it. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you really did. >> i have been working on another british impression. >> jimmy: oh. >> we've been doing press for the movie for "wonka." i have been working on my hugh grant. [ speaking in hugh grant's voice ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you have? >> yes, yes. in the film when hugh grant says, "i will have you know that i am a perfectly respectable size for an oompa loompa." there's something posh about the way he speaks. i love when he says "oh, oh -- i'm starting to dance now. once we start, we can't stop." you guys have seen that in the trailer. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's good. >> thank you. thank you very much. i'm doing my best.
12:09 am
>> jimmy: has he heard this? >> he's heard it. he's heard me do it. and i believe what he said to me was that i sound like him having a stroke. [ laughter ] i was like -- >> jimmy: i don't know, i think you just sound like him, to be honest. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: what else? any others? new ones? >> you know, one of my favorites i always like to pull out, one time years ago i did a radio show, like a podcast, with shaquille o'neal. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and he was playing a game with me. and on the game, what it was was the name -- he was giving me names of athletes. the name was either going to be a name like from the east-west bowl from "key & peele" or a real athlete's name, and i had to guess which one it was. at one point he really stumped me with a name. there was a huge, long pause. in the pause shaq goes, he goes, "hey, key. don't be googling it." [ laughter ]
12:10 am
"don't. don't. don't be on the google." [ laughter ] "you can't be googling, key. you got to guess the answer." >> jimmy: that's real good. [ cheers and applause ] nice. hey, something i learned in the book is that you were -- when you were a young man, maybe just a kid, actually, you worked at a renaissance festival. >> yes. >> jimmy: not a fair, a festival. >> festival, right. >> jimmy: what is the difference? >> a festival is more fun. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> fairs are good. fairs are good. >> jimmy: it's a fair. [ laughter ] >> it's a fair, a fair, yeah. but you always want to go to a festival because you're having fun. >> jimmy: you did -- everybody does an english accent at those things, right? >> sometimes -- some people do anachronistic accents. i did my own regular michigan accent at the time. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah. my friend -- you have a picture here.
12:11 am
>> jimmy: a picture here. >> a picture of me with some of the guys that i did -- we did a sword fighting comedy show. so it was like jumping off of cliffs and swinging around and sword fighting and telling jokes. it was really, really fun. >> jimmy: was it fun? >> it was. >> jimmy: you did it every day? >> i did it every day -- like i did thursday, friday, saturday, sundays. around labor day, around the summertime. >> jimmy: don't people get drunk and become abusive at those things? [ laughter ] >> they do, they get really, really drunk. there's nothing like drinking mead. >> jimmy: yeah, mead and grok. >> in the middle of summer. there was this crazy thing that happened at our festival. they used to sell wooden swords for kids, which was already not a great idea. [ laughter ] then somebody -- some rhodes scholar had the brilliant idea what we should do is sell regular swords. like metal swords. [ laughter ] and let's let the people gallivant around the festival with their swords while we're also selling open alcohol. so that lasted two days.
12:12 am
>> jimmy: is that right? >> which was one day too long, yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: what happened? was there a beheading? [ laughter ] >> it was -- i have no -- nobody ever -- i never got clued in as to what the lowdown was, but apparently there must have been something. >> jimmy: one of the great things about a sword is you get free parking. >> yes. >> jimmy: "can i have your ticket?" "no, you may not." it's great to see you. congratulations on the movie, it's great. it's called "wonka." it opens in theaters friday. the great keegan-michael key, everybody. thank you, keegan. we'll be right back with charles melton! to help protect from hiv. i prep without pills. with apretude, a prescription medicine used to reduce the risk of hiv without daily prep pills. with one shot every other month, just 6 times a year. in studies, apretude was proven superior to a daily prep pill in reducing the risk of hiv. you must be hiv negative to receive apretude and get tested before each injection. if you think you were exposed to hiv or have flu-like symptoms, tell your doctor right away.
12:13 am
apretude does not prevent other sexually transmitted infections. practice safer sex to reduce your risk. don't take apretude if you're allergic to it or taking certain medicines, as they may interact. tell your doctor if you've had liver problems or mental health concerns. if you have a rash or other allergic reactions, stop apretude and get medical help right away. serious side effects include allergic reactions, liver problems, and depression. some of the most common side effects include injection-site reactions and headache. you must receive apretude as scheduled. ask your doctor about long-acting apretude. and prep without pills. save at apretude.com shopify's point of sale system helps you sell at every stage of your business. with fast and secure payment. card readers you can rely on. and one place to manage it all. whatever the stage, businesses that grow grow with shopify. emergen-c crystals pop and fizz when you throw them back. and who doesn't love a good throwback? ( ♪ ) ( ♪ )
12:14 am
emergen-c crystals. can i get the 10 piece chicken mcnuggets? wait, no, big mac. hmm. [cars honking] sir? i'm still here! [bubble pops] get one favorite like a big mac ♪ or 10 piece chicken mcnuggets ♪ and get another for just a buck. ♪ right now at mcdonald's. ♪ honey... honey... nyquil severe honey. powerful cold and flu relief with a dreamy honey taste. nyquil honey, the nighttime, sniffing, sneezing, couging, aching, fever, honey-licious, best sleep with a cold, medicine. dry skin is sensitive skin, too. and it's natural. treat it that way with aveeno® daily moisture. formulated with nourishing, prebiotic oat. it's clinically proven to moisturize dry skin for 24 hours. aveeno® what is cirkul? cirkul is the fuel you need to take flight. cirkul is the energy that gets you to the next level. cirkul is what you hope for when life tosses lemons your
12:15 am
way. cirkul, available at walmart and drinkcirkul.com. is it menopause or something else? the menopause journey has stages. learn about yours with clearblue menopause stage indicator... that tracks your fsh hormone levels...
12:16 am
combining them with your cycle data. what's your menopause stage?
12:17 am
>> lou: it's time to play "hammered or high?" what's your name, and where are you from? >> they call me fresh, i'm from louisiana. still toking, you know what i mean? >> fresh, are you hammered or high? >> lou: is fresh hammered, or is he high?
12:18 am
>> i ate a poppy gummy earlier -- i'm kind of like twisted -- >> lou: mushroom gummies? >> a little weed, herb, all that put together. this is fresh. >> lou: nobody has seen him since. at university of phoenix... you... you... you... you could earn your... master's... [ gasp ] for under 11 thousand! 11... yes! 11! master's degree for under 11k in less than a year. some things are too obvious to be a coincidence. earn your competency-based master's at university of phoenix.
12:19 am
(♪) some people just know that the best rate for you is a rate based on you, with allstate. not one based on paul. you don't want to ride with paul. or sarah, not today anyway. and you don't want a rate based on ben, he's got some important business to take care of. why would you pay a rate based on anyone else? with allstate, you're connected to a rate based on you. can i get the 10 piece chicken mcnuggets? wait, no, big mac. hmm. [cars honking] sir? i'm still here! [bubble pops] get one favorite like a big mac ♪ or 10 piece chicken mcnuggets ♪ and get another for just a buck. ♪ right now at mcdonald's. ♪ i have moderate to severe plaque psoriasis. thanks to skyrizi i'm playing with clearer skin. 3 out of 4 people achieved 90% clearer skin at 4 months. and skyrizi is just 4 doses a year after 2 starter doses.
12:20 am
serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine, or plan to. with skyrizi, nothing on my skin means everything! ♪ nothing is everything ♪ ask your dermatologist about skyrizi. learn how abbvie could help you save. ♪yeah, yeah, yeah♪ real fruit... and whole grains. ♪yeah, yeah, yeah♪ doing something good for yourself has never been this easy. just do what's delicious. kellogg's special k. that grimy film on your teeth? dr. g? it's actually the buildup of plaque bacteria which can cause cavities. most toothpastes quit working in minutes. but crest pro-health's antibacterial fluoride protects all day. it stops cavities before they start. crest. i'm steve, i lost 138 pounds in nine months on golo and taking release. it stops cavities before they start. since taking release, my sleep is way better. my inflammation has gone way down.
12:21 am
i'm nonstop now, i feel way better than i did before. i don't sit down in life anymore. juliana, big mac, no pickles, extra special sauce. and jimena, quarter pounder with cheese, extra pickles, no onions. thanks dad! ♪ you got it! ♪ [bubble pops] ♪ buy one favorite like a big mac, ♪ and get another for just a buck. ♪ right now at mcdonald's. ♪
12:22 am
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. music from lainey wilson is on the way. you know our next guest as reggie on "riverdale." he is now in the middle of a
12:23 am
storm of awards and nominations for his performance alongside julianne moore and natalie portman in "may december." you can watch it on netflix now. please welcome charles melton. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very good to see you. thanks for coming. >> thanks for having me. >> jimmy: how's it going? everything all right? your life good? >> yeah, life's good. it feels good, you know. >> jimmy: good. good, that's all that matters, really. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i would imagine it would feel good because you're getting all these raves and people are handing you trophies and people are giving you great reviews for this movie, which is exciting, yeah? >> it's sweet, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] better than the other way around, that's for sure, right? >> yeah, yeah, there's a lot of gratitude. >> jimmy: i think that i -- when you describe this movie to people, it sounds tawdry. it sounds like -- well, it's based on -- loosely based on a real story from many years back. but the story is basically, you
12:24 am
at 13 years old, your character has an affair with a much older woman. >> yes. >> jimmy: and then you have a baby, and you get married, and you guys are adults now. >> one big, happy family. >> jimmy: one big, happy family. i mean, that's a weird situation to be in. how many times do you have to audition for this movie? >> i had to audition three times. >> jimmy: okay. >> so i got a self-tape. it was a six-week process. >> jimmy: explain what that is, a self-tape, for those who don't know. >> okay. so the self-tape is -- >> jimmy: i guess it's pretty self-explanatory. [ laughter ] >> yeah. you get the script. you get a few scenes. and you memorize the lines. you do some deep diving. >> jimmy: then you email it to somebody. >> you email it, and it's completely out of your control. so i spent six hours doing my first self-tape. >> jimmy: really? >> yes. >> jimmy: six hours on the tape? or doing it over and over? >> over and over and over and over and over and over again. >> jimmy: now, is that -- do you tell the director that later? because that would worry me.
12:25 am
[ laughter ] >> yeah, no, no, no. he's finding out now, he's finding out now. >> jimmy: "we're never going to get through this movie." >> i got notes from my team saying, these are notes from todd haynes, our director. i'm like, yeah, right. >> jimmy: oh. your team lied to you? >> i think they lied to me. >> jimmy: oh, interesting. >> but -- >> jimmy: so they reviewed it first and said, we've got to change a couple of things? >> i think it was their notes. "switch this up." no, no, it was from todd. >> jimmy: in a way, if it hadn't worked out, i would tell you to fire them right now. [ laughter ] since it did work out, i think probably they deserve a raise or something like that. >> yeah. it ended up taking me to new york to do a chemistry read with yuli an moore. >> jimmy: wow. >> and todd haynes. i remember standing outside the door and i heard them whispering and my heart's beating out of my chest. light is coming through the cracks of the doors, through the keyhole. i open the door.
12:26 am
julianne moore is wearing all white. gold necklaces. i can't see her. it's really bright. [ laughter ] then i blacked out. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you had a near-death experience. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: who actually makes the self-tape? are you doing it like this? or you put the camera on the thing? >> oh, no, no, no, no, no. >> jimmy: the team is involved? >> the -- the family is involved. >> jimmy: your own family? >> my whole family. >> jimmy: really? >> yes. >> jimmy: the whole family is making a tape with you? >> yes. i -- all -- well, one of the family members, my cousin, ben, you know -- first -- i think it start -- everything that's happening in my life right now is starting to take a toll on my family. >> jimmy: on your family, really? in a bad way or what? >> i don't know. my cousin, he was in med school. he's in med school. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> studying to save lives one day. >> jimmy: right? >> and he's taping with me for six hours. >> jimmy: oh. >> and reading lines with me. >> jimmy: you may have killed somebody is what you're saying. [ laughter ] like years from now, when he
12:27 am
has -- he missed a certain class on aneurysms or something like that. he'll look back and go, "oh, yeah, that was cousin charles." yeah. >> he hasn't responded to any of my messages in the past year, so i'm trying to mend that relationship for the holidays. >> i see. >> and then, you know, my mom, she's flying out. coming to the premieres and a few events. getting her hair and makeup done. i've been telling everybody i have a kimchi business and i've been making kimchi. >> jimmy: you have been making kimchi? >> yes. >> jimmy: it's not a weird lie you made up? >> it's not a weird lie. it's not really a business. i've been telling everybody, "i'll get you a jar of kimchi." >> jimmy: you do make kimchi? >> i do make kimchi. my mom runs the whole thing. every time she's flying in to los angeles, thinking she's going to get dressed up and go to these events, there's kimchi supplies. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you spread out the cabbage and tell her to start
12:28 am
chopping. you're giving these to people as gifts? >> yeah, gifts. "oh, you like kimchi? i'll get you a jar of kimchi." to the point where my sister, who works with me, she's been with me for the past year, flying everywhere, she goes, "we need to stop telling people you have a kimchi business." [ laughter ] "you need to stop." >> jimmy: let me tell you, if i may give you a little bit of advice, it's not a business when you're giving the stuff away. [ laughter ] it doesn't count as a business. it's really -- like you're running a soup kitchen is really what's happening. [ laughter ] >> that makes sense, that makes sense. >> jimmy: no one's getting paid. really you're taking just a loss, basically. >> i think my sister was trying to tell me. >> jimmy: she was trying to explain that, yeah. >> lately, you know -- every other day she's giving me a two-week notice. >> jimmy: did you give natalie portman kimchi? >> not yet. >> jimmy: did you give julianne moore kimchi? >> not yet. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] you're keeping -- you're holding the kimchi back. so maybe -- you know what would be nice, at the oscars, if all goes well and you're nominated for an academy award --
12:29 am
[ cheers and applause ] people get hungry. people get very, very hungry at that show. and if you were passing out jars of kimchi, you might not necessarily win that year because voting is closed, but you'll definitely win the following year. >> sounds like a good plan. >> jimmy: something to think about. >> you should be my business manager. >> jimmy: i want to show a video that you posted, because i have a lot of questions about it. now, this is a camping trip you're on? >> yes. >> jimmy: and that is -- >> that's a bear. >> jimmy: that's a bear. >> a brown bear. >> jimmy: how far is the bear away? >> 15, no 20 feet. >> jimmy: 20 feet from you. [ laughter ] now, didn't you see the signs that say don't leave the food around? >> i know, i know, very irresponsible. >> jimmy: you know bears love kimchi. [ laughter ] >> yeah, i think if i had kimchi, maybe no bear would come near. but -- yeah, yeah. i wasn't scared. >> jimmy: you weren't?
12:30 am
why? >> no, because -- >> jimmy: because why? >> i mean, there's an insurance policy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: on you? >> my cousin. >> jimmy: on your cousin, oh. is it the same cousin? >> it's the same cousin that helped me with the self-tapes for six hours. >> jimmy: what's the insurance policy? >> i'm faster than he is. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i see, right. you've got a buffer there. >> yeah. >> jimmy: your cousin, what's his name again? >> his name's ben. >> jimmy: cousin ben would be bear lunch, yeah. well, cousin ben really hooked you up. >> he did. >> jimmy: do you thank him in these speeches that you give in these awards shows? >> i'm thanking him now. thank you, ben. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: would you like to -- maybe it's premature. but maybe you want to give a formal thanks to cousin ben, who's probably at home taping this on tv right now? >> right here? >> jimmy: right there, go ahead. >> ben. i love you. and -- uh -- keep it up, chief. i'm faster than you. [ laughter and applause ]
12:31 am
>> jimmy: you're going to have to work on that. a little more gratitude maybe the next time, a little less cannibalism, yeah. well, it's great to see you. congratulations on the movie. you did a fantastic job. get yourself a netflix account and watch "may december." it is on now. charles melton, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] be right back with lainey wilson!
12:32 am
12:33 am
>> jimmy: thanks to keegan-michael key, charles melton and sean hayes. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next. but first, her grammy-nominated album is called "bell bottom country." here with the song "wildflowers and wild horses," lainey wilson! ♪ ♪ ♪ in the middle of the night i hear a cornfield coyote cry ♪ ♪ up at the moon no matter what sky i'm laying under in the eye of a hurricane ♪ ♪ when i got one foot in the grave i'll dig my boots into the
12:34 am
dirt ♪ ♪ and face the rolling thunder i'm five generations of blazing a trail through barbed wired valleys ♪ ♪ and overgrown dells i'm barefoot and bareback and born tough as nails whoa-ooh-oh ♪ ♪ ooh-oh i'm four fifths of reckless and one fifth of jack i push like a daisy through ♪ ♪ old sidewalk cracks yeah - my kinda crazy's still running its courses with wildflowers ♪ ♪ and wild horses ♪ ♪ ♪ it's in the water in my veins
12:35 am
that bread of heaven ♪ ♪ falls like rain so i'm taken care of either way make something out of ♪ ♪ how i'm made until i hitch a ride on glory's train i'm five generations ♪ ♪ of blazing a trail through barbed wired valleys and overgrown dells i'm barefoot and bareback ♪ ♪ and born tough as nails whoa-ooh-oh ooh-oh i'm four fifths of reckless ♪ ♪ and one fifth of jack i push like a daisy through old sidewalk cracks yeah my kinda crazy's ♪ ♪ still running its courses with wildflowers and wild horses ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
12:36 am
♪ i'm five generations of blazing a trail ♪ ♪ true barbed wire valleys and overgrown dells ♪ ♪ i'm barefoot and bareback and born tough as nails ♪ ♪ whoa oh oh ♪ ♪ i'm four-fifths of reckless and one-fifth of jack ♪ ♪ i push like a daisy through old sidewalk cracks ♪ ♪ yeah my kinda crazy's still running its courses with wildflowers and wild horses ♪ ♪ ♪ yeah my kinda crazy's still running its courses with wildflowers and wild horses ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
12:37 am
♪ this is "nightline." >> byron: tonight, missing billions. how money that was supposed to go to save small business during the pandemic -- >> he said this was a ppp loan. i said, what's that? >> byron: really got spent. thousands accused of fraud. we dive deep to follow the money. >> you can't tell me that you didn't know that you couldn't buy a lamborghini or a

93 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on