previously on "jimmy kimmel live" --

>> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- rob lowe, ike barinholtz, and music by kali uchis. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us here in hollywood on what, for most of the country, not us, most of the country was another day of bitter cold. a second arctic blast is blasting, i guess, which is what they do. i'm not sure i'd ever heard of an arctic blast before this week. am i imagining it or are they

inventing new weather? [ laughter ] bomb cyclones, firenados, snow boners. [ laughter ] i made the last one up. but once the weather channel gets hold of it, who knows? it'll be snow boner mania. [ laughter ] in colorado, it is so cold that if you leave your house with wet hair, you could wind up looking like this. [ laughter ] >> yay! it's like i'm behind a tree with a bunch of branches around me. we should do this for crazy hair day. >> jimmy: you could also do it for pneumonia day. [ laughter ] that's dangerous. one mean little brother could snap all that hair off. in portland, oregon, not maine, a guy came home, heat was off in his place, and the water in his toilet, frozen solid. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sadly, his wish did

not come true. [ laughter ] throwing a nickel in a toilet is how you wish for donald trump to be president again. did you know that? [ laughter ] the weather is supposed to chairman. next week, it's supposed to be abnormally warm. it's cold, it's hot, it's hot, it's cold. everybody's in a bad mood. is it possible that america is going through menopause? [ laughter ] we are less than a week away from the new hampshire primary. donald trump snow plowed his way into atkinson, new hampshire, to shout at voters about who didn't give him enough air time after the iowa caucuses. >> last night, it was amazing. nbc and cnn refused to air my victory speech. [ boos ] think of it. because they are crooked, they're dishonest, and frankly, they should have their licenses or whatever they have taken away. they put on -- they put on nikki haley. she came in third. a distant third. like, i mean, a distant third. and they put on ron desanctimonious, who came in a

boring second. >> jimmy: a boring second. that's also his nickname for eric, by the way. [ laughter ] this man is actually complaining he doesn't get enough coverage on television. ron desantis right now is currently sitting at a sad 5% in new hampshire. abc and cnn decided to cancel their new hampshire debate coverage because trump and nikki haley said they would not attend. but the good news is, if you still want to hear two republicans who will never be president argue about politics, you can always go visit your parents. [ laughter ] trump last night picked up an endorsement from the gentleman who beat him in iowa back in 2016. ted "cancun" cruz. ted said he is, quote, "proud" to endorse the man who said his wife and his father killed jfk. [ laughter ] i have to say. it's nice when two of the most repugnant turds on the planet can bury old feuds and shave each other's disgusting backs. [ laughter ] ted cruz endorsing donald trump is like a tick endorsing lyme disease. [ laughter ] fiberace has been playing all

the hits on the campaign trail including an extended whine about the fact that he was forced to leave the white house. >> when i left, which was ridiculous that we had to leave, but we had to leave. we had to follow the laws of our land. >> jimmy: and he's nothing if not law-abiding. [ laughter ] sticks right to the letter. you had to leave because 80 million people voted to evict you from the white house. [ laughter ] trump had a lot to say in a limited amount of time, so to really soak it in, we slowed him down to half speed for a new, new hampshire edition of "drunk donald trump." [ tape playing slowly ] >> they say, get him off the stage! he needs another! what ever happened to that -- what ever happened to the -- cocaine? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's a really good question.

congress has had one of its least-productive sessions ever. they've only passed 34 bills. so far, they've produced more photos of hunter biden's penis than actual legislation. [ laughter ] why do i feel like this all ends with hunter biden doing a super bowl commercial for the best buy geek squad? "never leave your laptop again." [ laughter ] this morning, the speaker of the house, mike johnson, had to answer an interesting question. johnson, an election denier who claims to be deeply religious. someone asked whether joe biden's presidency is god's will. >> god is the one that allowed people to be raised in authority. it must have been god's will, then. that's my belief. >> jimmy: i hope trump doesn't find out about that. [ laughter ] you tell trump god picked biden, mike's not gonna have a johnson tomorrow. [ laughter ] they say that trump won big in iowa because he has unusually strong support from evangelical christians. why, i have no idea. but he does. somehow, trump continues to get

support from evangelicals. one of them even made a video that suggests he was specifically chosen by god. to run the country. whoever made this video used a.i. to recreate the voice of paul harvey. remember paul harry? and now you know the rest of the story." well, paul harvey is deceased. but they ran his voice through a computer to make this. >> and on june 14th, 1946, god looked down on his planned paradise and said, i need a caretaker, so god gave us trump. god said, i need somebody willing to get up before dawn, fix this country, work all day, fight the marxists, eat supper, then go to the oval office and stay past midnight at a meeting of the heads of state so god made trump. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: even jesus was like, "jesus!" [ laughter ] [ applause ] a lot of religious people, including a number of actual pastors in iowa, were mortified to see trump being compared to

god in a political ad. one of them said it mirrored the original sin of lucifer. and i don't know much about that, but i feel like the video got some of the visuals wrong, so we rejiggered it a bit. >> and on june 14th, 1946, god looked down on his planned paradise and said, i need a caretaker. so god gave us trump. god said, i need somebody willing to get up before dawn, fix this country, work all day, fight the marxists, eat supper, then go to the oval office and stay past midnight at a meeting of the heads of state. so god made trump. i need somebody with arms. strong-arms to wrestle the deep state. and yet gentle enough to deliver his own grandchild. somebody to ruffle the feathers, tame cantankerous world economic forum, come home hungry, have to wait until the first lady is done with lunch, then tell the ladies to be sure and come back real soon. so god gave us trump.

god said, i need somebody who will be strong and courageous. i need the most diligent worker to follow the path and remain strong in faith. and then his oldest son turns and says, "dad, let's make america great again." so god made trump. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, at least he apologized. a lot of the focus for the upcoming election is on the age of the candidates. trump is 77 and biden is 81. and because of that, some people are saying we should put age limits on political office. it's a legitimate question. and biden and trump are spring chickens compared to iowa senator chuck grassley. chuck grassley is 90, almost ten years older than biden. and he's already filed to run for re-election in 2028, when he will be 95 years old. for the past decade, and this is for real, chuck grassley has been in a one-sided twitter feud

with the history channel. [ laughter ] he's tweeted about the history channel almost 20 times, and he's very mad at them. look. "just turned to history channel. no history. i used to get history. why do we have such a channel when it doesn't do history?" [ laughter ] "i turn to history channel frequently because i like history. there is never any history unless you are an antique dealer. change name!" [ laughter ] "just love history. so occasionally, i turn to history channel. "mud cats." when will they put history back on the channel?" [ laughter ] "history. no history. axe man, timber, nothing historical. back to fox. sigh. suggest name to change channel name." "wondering if no history channel would be interested in covering my axe and chainsaw work at my farm for axeman. at least it would be new." [ laughter ] "if you don't like history, now is time to go to history channel, and you can watch pawn stars." "i'm having lunch @chris_moody talking abt no history on history channel." "i should not give up. staff just notified me there is some history on history channel so i'm watching. go there quickly."

"check it out, a friend just told me real history on part-time history channel. i'm in car, something about washington." "can't believe it!! there is history on history channel. learn abt electricity inventor edison powering america." "hurry. there is history on history channel. ottoman empire, really." "history on the history channel. yes, history. attila the hun right now." "miracle upon miracle 5 hours later there is still history on the mislabeled history channel." [ laughter ] "quick right now. go to the history channel. they have real history for a shocker praise the lord for divine intervention." "there's history on the history channel right now. tune in before they go to swamp man." [ laughter ] what a character. [ applause ] do you think it's possible that he just doesn't know how to work the remote? [ laughter ] he can't change the channel? chuck, you don't need to watch history, you are it, you're 90. [ laughter ] he's also mad that mtv doesn't show videos anymore. but that's another night. the l.a. clippers, i don't know if you've heard, any clippers

fans? sorry, just kidding. [ laughter ] are trying something new. their new stadium is scheduled to open this summer, and it is being fitted with technology that will track how much fans cheer during the game. here's clippers owner steve ballmer who put on a helmet to explain how this technology's going to work. >> i'll just say, we want this to be the penultimate basketball experience on the planet. as good as it gets. the pinnacle, the peak. stay in your seat or get up. you get up, we're going to know that you stood up. if -- as long as you want us to. you've got to give us the permission. we'll know that you get up. we know that you cheer. we'll know how loudly you cheer. if your good on those things, we can give you little discounts around the shop to reinforce that excellent behavior. >> jimmy: not only is that terrifying, it might be the saddest thing i've ever heard. [ laughter ] i mean, my god. it's like when your mom has to pay other kids to come to your birthday party. [ laughter ] you get rewarded for good behavior. leave it to the clippers to make

going to a game feel like prison. [ laughter ] in other sports news, after 24 years under bill belichick, the new england patriots have a new head coach. former player and linebackers coach jerrod mayo was introduced today at a press conference with team owner robert kraft. and they're already a formidable duo. >> it's an honor to share this announcement with jerrod's family. his brothers, derron, derek, and shuma? shumar? >> i'll get it right, i'll get it right. >> well. we'll have to -- >> no, that's all right. it's one of those black names, i'll help you with that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i like these two together. kraft and mayo. it's like a food-based detective team or something. [ laughter ] hey, you know what's making a comeback? covid. everybody has covid again. including each one of you. [ laughter ] the studio is filled with it. they're saying that since the start of the holidays back in november, a new subvariant is

causing a surge of infections. 74%. most of the data comes from analyzing wastewater, which sounds like a great job, fighting viruss in the sewer. [ laughter ] and while the variant itself seems to be milder than those in the past, tens of thousands of people are still getting covid, people are still dying from covid. and the cdc says awareness is the key to staying safe. >> the following is an important message from the centers to have disease control and prevention regarding the ongoing covid-19 health crisis. >> oh. sorry. uh -- didn't realize we were still doing these. [ laughter ] all right, what this is one about? covid? okay. let's see. get boosted. wash your hands. sing "happy birthday." all that [ bleep ]. all right, listen. humans don't have long on this planet. between microplastics, global warming, that super disease

coming out next year that we're not supposed to tell you about yet, we're all [ bleep ]ed. so get weird, man. have unprotected sex. commit crimes. try ketamine. drain the kids' college fund to buy scratch-offs. go [ bleep ] your cousin. none of it matters. life is chaos. we are stardust. anyway. that's it. i'm going to go punch my neighbor. let's go, mets! and baba booey. [ cheers and applause ] >> the cdc, dare to live deliciously. >> jimmy: breathe slowly. we've got a good show for you tonight. ike barinholtz is here. [ cheers and applause ] we have music from kali uchis. and we'll be right back with beautiful rob lowe, so stick around!

results or just rhetoric. californians deserve a senator who is going to deliver for them every day and not just talk a good game.

adam schiff. he held a dangerous president accountable. he also helped lower drug costs, bring good jobs back home, and build affordable housing. now he's running for the senate. our economy, our democracy, our planet. this is why we fight. i'm adam schiff, and i approve this message. >> jimmy: hi, we are back. tonight, an exceptionally funny guy. his new podcast is called "the chris chatman do-over." ike barinholtz is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, a very talented singer-songwriter, her new album

"orquideas" came out last week. music from kali uchis. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, we'll be joined by terry crews, chrissy teigen and david chang, with music by sierra ferrel. so please join us for that. our first guest has been a star since before the mario brothers. he's been in so many movies, so many television shows. now he adds another game show to his resume. his new show is called "the floor." you can see it tuesdays at 9:00 on fox. please welcome rob lowe! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome, how are you? >> thank you, thank you, god, that's a nice welcome. >> jimmy: very good to see you. did you know you were here exactly one year ago? >> it's a -- it's our anniversary. >> jimmy: it is our anniversary.

>> it's our new groundhog's day. >> jimmy: what is the one-year anniversary? is it paper? >> paper clip. >> paper clips? that's nice, i'll get you some after the show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: how long have you been married to your wife? >> 33 years? >> jimmy: 33 years. [ cheers and applause ] >> which is great but it gets more expensive. i'm way past paper clips. that's the only downside. >> jimmy: wow. about you're married 33 years, it's still a given that you make love on your anniversary, on the night? >> if i demand it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: if you demand it. i feel like that's not entirely a joke. [ laughter ] >> says a man who's married, yes. we know what that is. >> jimmy: okay, let's go through what the show's about. you have two scripted shows on the air right now. >> that's right. "9-1-1: lone star". >> jimmy: on fox. >> right. and "unstable" on netflix. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: then you got your

podcast. how many episodes have you done of that podcast? >> my podcast, literally we have done, literally, 195. >> jimmy: 195 episodes. [ cheers and applause ] one of them you just did with robert downey jr. >> oh, and you know, downey and i went to high school together. >> jimmy: so crazy. >> we were in junior -- in our junior year, we had history together. >> jimmy: you went to handsome high? >> yes, yes. [ laughter ] small class, just two of us. >> jimmy: you went to -- wow, you were together that long ago? that's crazy. >> i know. it was -- you know. and i love him, and i love him in "oppenheimer" and i love -- >> jimmy: he was great. he's great in everything, really, truthfully. >> you know, he -- i'm at that age now where all my -- we're like -- when we were kids, the grown-ups won the awards. >> jimmy: right. >> now we're the grown-ups. we're winning the awards. to watch downey go out there and do it, it's so -- it's just -- yes. >> jimmy: you brought a behind-the-scenes clip from the

podcast. let's roll that. >> yeah. ♪ it's true ha ha ha i know this much is true ♪ >> true! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: was span do you ballet popular when you were in high school? what year did you graduate? >> technically, i never did. because i did "the outsiders" during my senior year, and they wouldn't give me a diploma. >> jimmy: never gave you one? >> never did gl not even like -- >> they invited me to the hall of fame. it doesn't come with a diploma. >> jimmy: do you still have to take classes if you want to get that diploma? are there credits you can fulfill? >> i did the ged so i can say i'm a high school graduate. >> jimmy: you're not, show. >> i made it. >> jimmy: you're not, yeah. who else was in that group? you mentioned "the outsiders." who was in your group? there were a bunch of maim miscellaneous guys like sean penn was one of the guys.

>> in my high school, his brother chris penn, charlie sheen, emilio estevez, holly robinson peete, there's some other ones. >> jimmy: who was the best student in the group? >> modesty prevents me -- [ bleep ], it was me. [ applause ] >> jimmy: it was you. >> it was me. i was such a nerd, i was always the pleasure to have in class. >> jimmy: were you really a nerd? >> yeah. all the cool kids were smoking dope and ditching. ditch? i wouldn't dream? you never ditched? >> one time. >> jimmy: oh. what happened, and who was it with? >> i went to the beach with some friends, we were playing beach volleyball, because i liked a girl. it was boring, i had to forge my mom's signature, and i'm traumatized by it still. >> jimmy: you forged mom's signature, wow. did you try to make it look like her signature? >> i was good at that. >> jimmy: you were. you'd done it before? >> i had to go audition. i would ditch to go audition. >> jimmy: uh-huh?

>> i was ambitious. but i wasn't a bad nut. >> jimmy: i see, that makes sense. it worked out. whatever the case, it seems to have worked out. >> yeah, it was all good. you'll love this. so downey does this amazing acceptance speech at the golden globes. and i'm so excited for him. so i text him. "so glad you won, that is the most beautiful acceptance speech i have heard in a long time, boy do you deserve it." i hit it and realized, [ bleep ], i just sent that to bradley cooper. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: who did not win at the golden globes. >> who did not win. >> jimmy: oh, boy, yeah. >> then i was like, oh, i've got to make it better. "no, i meant that for robert downey jr." that's even worse. >> jimmy: yeah, that is worse. >> terrible. i'd inputted the wrong numbers into the wrong names. >> jimmy: you can unsend those. >> i didn't know. >> jimmy: there's a time limit. also, it says somebody unsent, which makes somebody doubly suspicious. >> that's exactly right. >> jimmy: did you make it up? did you send robert a section --

>> no, i did it again. i mistakenly sent another one. >> jimmy: to who? >> bradley. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: bradley again? >> again. >> jimmy: does he think you're crazy? >> he's like, "no, no, i'm fine, i like living vicariously through these mistakes." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there was an interview in "health health" magazine, you were talking about boxing because you did it for fitness reasons are you you indicated you'd like too fight another celebrity for charity or something like that? >> oh, jimmy, i want the money. [ laughter ] this is pay-per-view. >> jimmy: you wanted to fight who? who was at the top of your list? >> david duchovny is the first person i asked because he's a friend and i could get him. and his text i do have, his number i know. >> jimmy: okay. >> so -- and he turned me down immediately. >> jimmy: so you really were -- you wanted to fight him? >> yes. this is like, you know -- all these -- tiktok people are fighting people and everything. >> jimmy: that's right, yeah. >> millions of dollars, it's like, hello? also, i was training for the cover, so i was all hopped up on

testosterone or whatever that -- all natural, of course. >> jimmy: of course, yes, of course. >> so i was really into it. >> jimmy: you were. is there anyone that you would like to issue a challenge to that you'd like to fight? >> it's not as easy as you'd think. when you're trying to think of who you want to fight publicly, there are three things you've got to think of. who you think you could beat. you've got to worry about who could beat you. >> jimmy: well, sure, those are kind of the same thing, yeah. >> then who america would like to see fight. i'm currently thinking i want a piece of that "wonka" kid. >> jimmy: you mean timothee chalamet. [ cheers and applause ] i think he raised like 142 pounds, does that not bother you? >> that's what i'm saying. i'm no fool. >> jimmy: this could be a great -- this could be a show where you fight another celebrity every week. >> how great would it be to see real celebrities knocking the crap out of each other? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's happened. people have done that.

but it's usually -- it's not exactly the a-list group. >> no, that's the problem. >> jimmy: usually it's screech fighting history shack or something like that. >> right. >> jimmy: which did happen, by the way. >> no, it did not. >> jimmy: yes, it did. >> my man ronnie pa lil low? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm going right to youtube. >> jimmy: you go right to youtube. rob lowe is here. he'll fight you if you want it. "the floor." we'll be right back. because i switched to every-other-month cabenuva. for adults who are undetectable, cabenuva is the only complete long-acting hiv treatment you can get every other month. it's two injections from a healthcare provider. now when i have people over, hiv pills aren't on my mind. don't receive cabenuva if you're allergic to its ingredients, or if you're taking certain medicines, which may interact with cabenuva. serious side effects include allergic reactions, post-injection reactions, liver problems, and depression. if you have a rash and other allergic reaction symptoms,

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>> boo-boo? >> mill house van houten. >> barney rubbles. >> chewy. no -- pass. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. that's rob lowe's show "the floor." which you can watch tuesday nights on fox. they didn't know guillermo. >> here's the good news. you've made it to be a renowned sidekick, but clearly there's one more level. >> guillermo: i've got to work more hard. >> jimmy: do the contestants have to guess his last name? >> no, just "guillermo." >> jimmy: would have been enough, yeah. what is the idea behind the show? >> 81 contestants over the course of 10 weeks. >> jimmy: only 81? >> only 81. fight for control of the floor by beating each other in a trivia game. >> jimmy: and one of them dies at the end?

[ laughter ] >> i table them out, i personally. i box them, yes. >> jimmy: you beat them to a pulp. >> that's right. >> jimmy: do you like doing a game show? >> it's fun. >> jimmy: it is fun to do a game show. >> it's so fun. >> jimmy: unless people lose, then you feel terrible. >> you feel bad. surprising how invested i get in the people who are playing and getting to know them, watching that money change their lives. it's fun. >> jimmy: the show is very successful, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: it's doing really well? >> they told me before i came out, it's fox's most-streamed game show ever. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: most streamed? >> the kids are doing it. >> jimmy: the kids are doing a lot of streaming. >> they tell me the kids are doing streaming. >> jimmy: here's something the kids won't get at all. this is a picture from the '80s. 1981. celebrity baseball game. >> who are those two women? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: one of them's ann gillian. and one of them is you. >> oh, that's me. >> jimmy: as a very young, young stud there playing baseball. >> i don't know about stud. >> jimmy: well, i think probably

stud is a good way to describe you. even now, i think we could describe you in that way. [ cheers and applause ] you have a -- you know, i heard you on "smartless," the podcast hosted by will arnett, jason bateman, sean hayes. you were talking about what we call the jason bateman game. >> yes. >> jimmy: we played that with you. >> why do you continue to call it the jason bateman? >> jimmy: you want it changed to the rob lowe game. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: it started with jason bateman, and not on the show. it started with me just asking him different names. i throw names at him. he, like you, has been in show business so long. >> forever. >> jimmy: he's met everybody. >> and he's hilarious. >> jimmy: he's hilarious too, but that doesn't even matter. what matters is who you know. i wondered if you wanted to play a little of the jason bateman game. >> i do. but only -- [ cheers and applause ] there's a caveat. if i do well, you need to consider changing the name. >> jimmy: i'll consider it. >> or at least he and i have to

square off. >> jimmy: oh! yeah. well, it's not a competition. [ applause ] it is really just fun for everyone. because what i'm going to do, you don't know, there are a bunch of celebrity names on bas in here. i'm going to pull out a name, then you tell me if you ever met this person, okay? oh, okay. here's one. stevie wonder. >> many, many, many times. >> jimmy: many times? >> many times. so -- yes. many times. >> jimmy: wow. >> so i have -- one of our great family friends named christopher, he'll know who it is. i'm not going to out you with this story. stevie was playing a charity event. afterwards we were all together. christopher was young. he'd had a little too much to drink. and he turns to stevie wonder and he goes, "so -- how blind are you, fam?" >> jimmy: oh, no. [ laughter ] >> and stevie goes, "pretty blind, son." >> jimmy: oh my god. fam. >> fam.

how blind are you, fam? it's one of my favorite things. >> jimmy: o.j. >> oh. yeah. oh, no. i was at the juice's house. rockingham. north rockingham way. >> jimmy: really. >> north rockingham way for the marriage of marcus allen and katherine edwards. >> jimmy: wow. >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah, and you keep in touch? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. oh, here's -- dennis rodman. >> hm. the worm. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i -- i heckled him relentlessly. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> from my lakers seats. >> jimmy: okay? >> when he played for the pistons. >> jimmy: okay. >> and he threatened me. >> jimmy: did he really? what did he say? >> with a bad look, he just threatened me. >> jimmy: i see, all right. okay, now we're getting big. frank sinatra. >> yes. frank sinatra i met at the princess grace foundation dinner, and he was performing. it was towards the end. and after the performance, i was able to meet him. and he grabbed me -- i don't

want to do it -- he grabbed me by the face and went -- [ laughter ] "my grandkids love ya." [ laughter and applause. >> jimmy: really? that's pretty good. >> hurt. >> jimmy: yeah, no. we might have to rename him. i don't know if bateman has met frank sinatra. one more? >> yeah, yeah, let's go, we're hot, we're hot, we're hot. let's go. [ cheers and applause ] oh! okay. there was a club in the '80s. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. settle in, everybody. >> there was a club in the '80s called carlos and charley's, a mexican restaurant on the ground floor, a dance thing on the top. prince would go there all the time ask dance alone. and i -- there's some nodding folks, yes. i just remember being in the bathroom at the urinal, and these -- fay leengss of bodyguards came in, "you have to

leave right now." they escorted me out of the bathroom so prince could pee in private. >> jimmy: wow. he has that kind of -- he had that kind of pull? >> yep. >> jimmy: and you left? >> i left. >> jimmy: what a life. rob lowe, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] you can see him on "the floor" every tuesday night, 9:00 on fox. thank you, rob. we'll be right back with ike barinholtz! every day, more dog people, and more vets are deciding it's time for a fresh approach to pet food. they're quitting the kibble. and kicking the cans. and feeding their dogs dog food that's actually well, food. developed with vets. made from real meat and veggies. portioned for your dog. and delivered right to your door. it's smarter, healthier pet food. get 50% off your first box at thefarmersdog.com/realfood when moderate to severe ulcerative colitis takes you off course.

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(♪) it's that feeling when you're at disneyland resort. now, kids 3-9 can visit a disneyland resort theme park with a limited-time kids' special ticket offer. (♪) [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, welcome back. music from kali uchis is on the way. our next guest is a very funny actor, comedian, writer and now fake shock jock on a new podcast called "the chris chatman do-over." it is available everywhere podcasts are found. please welcome ike barinholtz. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

how are you? >> how are you doing, man? >> jimmy: you almost knocked me over, you came out with such vigor, such energy. >> even this chair is hot because rob lowe was in it. what a handsome man. >> jimmy: it's ridiculous. >> it's not cool. >> jimmy: it's nonsensical. >> i don't like it. >> jimmy: how are you? how's everything going? family good? >> everything's good. we were just on vacation. >> jimmy: you did? where'd you go? >> went up to beautiful canada. >> jimmy: okay. >> yeah. there we go. went skiing. >> jimmy: you did? >> i did not. they did. >> jimmy: oh. >> i will not ski. >> jimmy: that's how i do it, too. >> i hate it. >> jimmy: i hate it too. >> it's stupid. and it's elitist. and -- i did it one time. and, you know, i've always said that when you're having downward motion, you need a braking system. >> jimmy: yeah. >> people go, just pizza slice. that does not work for my legs!

so i don't do it. >> jimmy: i don't like it either. what do you do while the others are skiing? >> i started drinking. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh. that's nice. >> safer. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, i just -- i'm not going to have reconstructive knee surgery at 45, doing something i hate. >> jimmy: exactly. well, that's the thing. it is dangerous. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but if it was fun, you'd probably tolerate it. >> yeah, if i was, you know, doing something i enjoy. like watching television. [ laughter ] if i was like, you know, watching "top chef" and i was like, oh my god, his sauce broke, oh [ bleep ]! then that's fine, that's fine, i don't mind. i don't mind walking around in one of those little wheelie things. [ laughter ] you know when you get that done, you've got to put your leg -- >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah, and everybody's always asking you what happened. >> "what happened?" "i was watching top chef." >> jimmy: when you were a kid did your family take you on ski trips and that sort of thing? >> no, we didn't have that kind of money. we went to ohio.

>> jimmy: you did, to do what? >> walk around. talk to the cows. >> jimmy: skip rocks on the late? >> yeah, throw -- chuck rocks at the "carcinogenic." >> jimmy: your dad, by the way -- a lot of people know, people who follow your career is a star now, has become a star. >> well, my father was -- have you guys heard of the show "jury duty"? [ cheers ] there you go. how about the movie "blockers"? [ cheers ] less people. my father was the judge on "jury duty." >> jimmy: your dad was the judge. you recommended him to a friend. they were looking for a judge. >> yeah, and we put him on tape. we thought he gave a pretty good read. then they cast him. and now he's very famous. >> jimmy: now when you say he's very famous, you have situations where he's more famous than you are? >> yes, yes, yeah. like there was a strike this year, i don't know if you heard about it. >> jimmy: didn't hear about it. [ laughter ] >> we would picket a couple of times. i would go to the picket line with my dad, people were recognizing him.

one day he got recognized by bosh. the actor, titus welliver, who plays the character bosh. >> jimmy: i thought you meant the dishwasher. >> he owns one of those. for a 72-year-old man to see bosh, that's like a devout catholic seeing the pope. you know what i mean? oh, he's a top cop who's woke but also likes jazz? sign me up! [ laughter ] yeah, so he was very excited. people will walk up to him, "oh my god, love jury duty, you're so great." hand me the phone. "can you get a picture of us?" "sure." >> jimmy: is he going to continue with this? >> yes. >> jimmy: he wants to be in other things? >> he wishes to be in other things. >> jimmy: is he auditioning for things? >> yes. >> jimmy: drive him around, drop him off? >> that's where i draw the line. he will come over. he used to be, "where's the grandkids? here's some life advice." now he comes over, "hey, kids, will you put me on tape for this sitcom i have to audition for,

do you mind?" >> jimmy: wow, that's amazing. by the way, i wanted to show this photograph that you posted. this is you and woody harrelson and the great -- late, great norman lear. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and i don't know if you can see. >> well, what this is, what's happening here, this is after a little wrap party for "live in front of a studio audience," a show that you, jimmy kimmel, produced. [ applause ] we were hanging out afterwards. and it was woody, and woody pulls out one of his -- what i call outer space joints. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> and hands it to me. and i'm a seasoned veteran. so i -- i can handle myself. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> then norman, who was late 90s, reaches for it. and i was worried. because this man was a treasure. >> jimmy: yes, sure. >> and i know that before, when i've partaken in woody's weed, i'm like the astronaut at the end of "2001." [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: even you? >> even me. but norman grab that joint, took a couple of big pulls of it, and he was beautiful. >> jimmy: yeah. that's -- i mean, what could be better? first of all, you've got one of the members of the mount rushmore of smoking pot. [ laughter ] >> yes, he's our teddy roosevelt of weed, he really is. >> jimmy: you have got a new podcast. >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: called "the chris chapman do-over." >> yes. >> jimmy: you play chris chapman. >> yes. >> jimmy: i've heard you say he's a shock jock. is he like a vintage fm radio shock jock? or one of the new podcast meathead guys? >> one of the new podcast meathead guys. >> jimmy: gotcha. >> one of these guys who gets in front of the mic. he's got totally uninformed opinions. he's talking [ bleep ] all the time. >> jimmy: like what kind of stuff? >> like he will talk about conspiracy theories. he's the kind of lie that if you were a -- i don't know, ex to current quarterback in the nfl ask you had real brain trauma. >> jimmy: uh-huh?

>> this is the kind of show you would love. >> jimmy: you would like it? >> a guy like that would love that show, you know what i'm saying? >> jimmy: i don't know what you're referring to. >> imagine, mind powers -- >> jimmy: i'll try to work up my imagination, yeah. >> he's a guy who loves to get in front of a microphone and say dumb things. >> you make these up? >> totally improvised. this is a brainchild of amy poehler. she wanted to create a fake podcast network. she started off by doing a character called dr. sheila. >> jimmy: very funny. >> you have to put a question mark after "doctor" because she's not really a doctor. doctor, question mark, sheila. she's passed it to me and i created this podcast, the stupidest thing i've ever done. >> jimmy: it's fun? >> it's so fun, it's funny, it's a wonderful way to spend 45 minutes. >> jimmy: one more thing i'd like to do before we wrap this up. >> what do we go? >> jimmy: you want to play the jason bateman game? >> i'd love to play the jason bateman game.

>> jimmy: you're a man to man, some of these might be in your -- you've never met liberace, right? >> no, i have not. i hope bobby lee's in there. >> jimmy: have you met madonna? >> not the madonna. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: diana ross? >> i met her daughter. >> jimmy: uh-huh, tracee, yeah, that doesn't count. >> indictment of my friends. >> jimmy: how about michael jordan? >> i have met michael jordan, yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. any details? >> he's the greatest man of all-time. he'll take my life for his. >> jimmy: have you ever met aretha franklin? >> no. >> jimmy: see, this is why this game is so particular to those guys. what about vladimir putin? >> dear friends. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah? >> dear friends. we started improv together in the early 2000s before he took over russia, yeah. >> jimmy: well, it's great to see you. the podcast is called "the chris

chatman do-over." you can listen to it on your phone. [ cheers and applause ] ike barinholtz, everybody. thank you, ike. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with kali uchis! n? like going for bold without going broke... and staying true to your taste while staying on budget. who says rising costs means lowering the bar? settling? no need. get the brands you want, the prices you want, whenever you want. tj maxx where you can always afford to be you to the maxx. [car tires screeching] (♪)

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results or just rhetoric. californians deserve a senator who is going to deliver for them every day and not just talk a good game. adam schiff. he held a dangerous president accountable. he also helped lower drug costs, bring good jobs back home, and build affordable housing. now he's running for the senate. our economy, our democracy, our planet. this is why we fight. i'm adam schiff, and i approve this message.

>> jimmy: thanks to rob lowe, ike barinholtz and kali uchis, apologies to matt damon. we did run out of time for him. "nightline" is next. thank you for watching, goodnight. ♪ this is "nightline." >> juju: tonight, lone star standoff. as the immig