previously on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> let's talk about where we go potty at. >> potty. >> where do you go poop at? >> pants. [ laughter ] >> no, no, no, we don't poop in

our pants or our diaper. jayce, jayce. where do we go potty? where we go poop at? >> potty. >> in the potty. can i poop in our pants? >> yes. >> no, no. [ laughter ] where do we go poop? >> a diaper. >> no, not the diaper. in the potty. >> potty. >> can, can we go poop in our diaper? >> yes. >> no. [ laughter ] >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- terry crews. chrissy teigen and david chang. and music from sierra ferrell. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. welcome. welcome, welcome. thank you. wow, very nice, thank you. hi, everybody. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching.

relax. it's too much already. thank you for joining us. we are located, if you want to find us, at our headquarters in hollywood where we keep an eye on everything going on all over the world at all times. especially what's going on politically. in washington today, congress maneuvered to avoid a government shutdown which would have happened tomorrow. it went all the way to the eleventh hour again. when did congress become a stoner who keeps forgetting the rent is due? [ laughter ] at the end of the month? donald trump has had -- oh, boy. donald trump has had to deal with a viral moment that was embarrassing even for him. this is a photo. you can see trump waving on his way into court. and if you look closely you can see red spots on his hand which many people noted is a common symptom of syphilis. [ add audience moaning ] which could mean donald trump has syphilis, or syphilis has donald trump. [ laughter ]

you know, trump famously said avoiding stds, he said in interview, when he was single in the '90s was his "personal vietnam." [ laughter ] but if he has syphilis, that would mean the only vietnam he avoided was vietnam. [ laughter ] it is possible that trump may have a condition they call "neurosyphilis." and while i am not a doctor, i thought that, as a public service, it might make sense for us to go through the list of symptoms. >> presenting "syphilis and you." beware of these telltale symptoms of syphilis. mood swings. >> no, get those lights off! off! & turn them off, they're too -- they're too bright, turn them off! >> memory loss. >> we appreciate it very much, tim apple. >> impaired judgment. >> president trump and first lady melania at the white house. the president staring at the sun without glasses. >> confusion

delusions. >> frankly, we did win this election. >> delirium. >> think of it, magnets. all i know about magnets is this. give me a glass of water, let me drop it on the magnets, that's the end of the magnets. >> mania. >> mr. trump posted well over 100 times on twitter throughout the day. >> psychosis. >> so supposing we hid the body with a tremendous, very powerful light -- >> seizures. >> uh, i don't remember! rrrr! uhhhh! >> don't be like dirty don. when you've got vd, think cleveland. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a slogan for the town. the good news is, either way, melania will be fine. they haven't slept in the same

bed since -- [ laughter ] how old is barron? 17? yeah, she's probably okay. it's probably ketchup. he probably got his hands in a container of curly fries. [ laughter ] but it's funny because you know if one of his opponents had something like this, he would be all over it. he'd talk about it for years. he'd be posting in all caps about meatball ron desyphilis. and nikki herpe. [ laughter ] but they haven't brought it up. i don't know if this had anything to do with that rumor, but trump has been going out of his way to convince us his brain is just fine. the yellephant man was in new hampshire last night, again bragging about the results of a cognitive test he claims he "aced" in the summer of 2020. >> i said, well, is it a hard test? it can be hard. i said, look, i got to take it because i got to shut it up. and i took it. and i aced it. i think it was 35, 30 questions. and let me tell you. you know, they always show you the first one. like a giraffe, a tiger, a this, a that. a whale. which one is the whale? okay. and that goes on for three or four.

then it gets harder and harder and are harder. then it's divided by 4. i guarantee you biden couldn't get by number three. i think he'd probably get the whale. [ audience moaning ] >> jimmy: there's only one way to find out. you should both take the test on tv. together. live. [ cheers and applause ] let's skip these debates, turn it into a game show. i want to see stable mcgenius figure out 3,293 times 4 divided by 3. i really do. and then moby dictionary regaled the crowd with his latest contribution to the english language. >> we have more liquid gold and wealth under our feet than any other nation. we have more liquid gold, oil and gas. more liquid gold. well, i just met nonliquid gold. you know where it was? iowa. it's called corn.

they have -- it's nonliquid. that's my take. you have more nonliquid gold. they said, what is that? i said, corn. they said, we love that idea. that's a pretty cool thought, isn't it? we came up with a new word, a new couple of words for corn. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so proud of everything he does. everything he says these dummies gather round and go, "amazing, mr president!" [ laughter ] "we never thought of that! all this time, we were just standing around calling it corn, and here you come with nonliquid gold!" [ laughter ] "can i get you some nonliquid gold on the cob?" [ laughter ] trump is said to be kicking the tires on possible running mates, and the frontrunner is said to be elise stefanik, congresswoman from new york. this is elise. she always looks like she's about to serve you the worst potato salad you've ever had. [ laughter ] after initially criticizing trump for his treatment of women, stefanik changed her tune significantly. trump reportedly believes stefanik is "a killer" which

will be funny in a couple of years when trump tells his supporters to kill her. [ laughter ] trump was very busy in court yesterday trying to intimidate e. jean carroll, a woman he sexually assaulted. he had no reason to be there in court. but his lawyer asked the judge to cancel the hearing so he could go to his mother-in-law's funeral. the judge said no, and of course they threw a fit saying he should be allowed to mourn with his family. which he was. he went to the funeral anyway, of melania's mother. who passed away. trump was so full of deep sorrow, he only found time to post 26 times today. [ laughter ] attacking e. jean carroll. can you imagine? before the funeral, trump had his mind on his criminal cases. he's very worried about how the supreme court will rule on the "presidential immunity." he believes clears him of all wrongdoing. he raged in all caps, "a president of the united states must have full immunity. without which it would be impossible for him/her to properly function."

suddenly he's into pronouns. [ laughter ] "even events that 'cross the line' must fall under total immunity, or it will be years of trauma trying to determine good from bad." even events that "cross the line." he means, the president should be able to do anything to anyone at any time. "all presidents must have complete and total presidential immunity, or the authority and decisiveness of a president of the united states will be stripped and gone forever. hopefully this will be an easy decision. god bless the supreme court!" let me tell you something. if those three judges he appointed to the supreme court take this case and rule against him, he is going to blow a whale-sized windmill out of his ass. [ cheers and applause ] it might actually kill him. this could be it. sometimes i wonder, once trump is dead and gone, buried on the 18th hole of one of his golf courses, will things get better or will we have a whole new crop of maga brains to deal with?

in oklahoma, a state representative named justin humphrey is making a case for himself by proposing legislation that would cck down on "furries" in the classroom. >> under house bill 3084, students who, quote, purport to be an imaginary animal, commonly referred to as furries, shall not be allowed to participate in school activities. representative justin humphreys said he authored that bill. the bill says students would be picked up by a parent or animal control. that part humphreys says was a joke. >> here's the deal what those people ought to be mental health. i mean, we can always change the language in that. we should get these kids to some mental health experts. >> jimmy: come on. is this really a problem? [ laughter ] by the way, we've always had furries in schools. we just called them mascots. [ laughter ] we let them run on the court and everything. there is little to no evidence that there is a furry infestation in american public schools. which makes you wonder why these loons keep bringing it up. it's starting to feel like a little bit of a "he who dealt

it, smelt it" situation. [ laughter ] and then we have a guy in kentucky. nick wilson, who was on the show "survivor" and won! who's also working hard to help solve the problems that hurt us most. >> kentucky lawmaker and former "survivor" winner representative nick wilson has filed a bill that would remove the first cousin clause from kentucky's incest law. house bill 269 would remove first cousins from the list of familial relationships, meaning it would no longer be illegal to have sexual contact with those family members. >> jimmy: look, the guy lives in a small town, and he has a hot cousin. [ laughter ] what are you gonna do? this has been a tough week for mike lindell. our mypillow pal. i don't know if you heard, but his commercials are no longer welcome on fox news. >> fox news has canceled mypillow. we don't know why. we can only -- we can only make a couple of guesses.

maybe it's because lou dobbs was added over here at lindell tv to a lineup we have. that was just a few days ago. we showed his first interview with our great real president, donald trump. or maybe it's because they don't want my face even on their network leadeding up to the 2024 election in support of our great real president, donald trump. >> jimmy: well. fox says the reason they dropped mike is because he owes them money. a spokesperson for fox said he hasn't been paying his bills. they said as soon as their account is paid, we would be happy to accept their advertising. but in spite of that, i thought, pretty clear clarification, pillow mike still seems perplexed. >> tell everyone you know. what can we do to fox? tell everyone you know to come to lindell tv. tell everyone you know to get to lindell tv. >> hello, hello? >> hello? >> turn-down service? >> no, thank you.

this is live, everybody, this is live. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: running a tight ship over there at the hampton inn. [ applause ] i have to say, i hate to see this. mike lindell, he was a crack addict, he built this company, now he's lost millions of dollars because he actually believes this conspiracy stuff. i'm worried about him, so i thought it would be nice to check on him and see -- >> and howzabouts this! if you act now, you get 20% off a perfectly fine human kidney. just type in promo code "organ freeman." >> jimmy: mike? mike? >> whozeawhatthe? ah! hello? you still there, you still there? >> jimmy: i'm not on the phone, it's jimmy kimmel, mike. why are you in a bathtub full of ice? >> oh hell, jiminy krimble, not now. can't you see i was trying to close a deal? >> jimmy: mike, are you selling your organs for money? >> not all of 'em! just the ones that don't do nothing for you, like the kidneys and the liver and the lung and [ bleep ] like that.

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm not a doctor, but i'm pretty sure the liver and the kidneys and the lung do a lot. >> well so far so good. although it hurt like a b-word comin' out. >> jimmy: i bet it did. did you take any pain medication? >> i can't take no pain pills. otherwise i'll wake up in the arby's bathroom again. only to realize i been the assistant manager there for six months! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, i can see that. >> it's okay, they gave me some flintstones chewables, and they gave me a jane fonda workout video, a vhs jane fonda tape to calm me down. >> jimmy: that doesn't sound like it would help at all. >> oh, no, the tape worked real great. jane fonda got me huffin' and puffin'. [ laughter ] which is impressive considerin' i only got the one lung now! >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, i can see -- is that your lung? >> the other can be yours for just $39.99 when you use promo code "lung fu fightin" at checkout!

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you okay, mike? >> sorry, the lung i got left in there is the only one i ever used to smoke all that crack cocaine. >> jimmy: i get it. i understand that you're in financial trouble, but you can't just sell your vital organs. >> no dur, ya pedo! that's why i'm also selling my newest product, my blood! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's blood? >> this is the good stuff, too. it ain't got none of them vaccine 5g miker-chips that alert bill gates every time you have a homo-erotical dream about some cousin. [ laughter ] plus my blood is loaded with iron because i chew my nails! >> jimmy: wait -- why would chewing your nails give you iron? >> i don't chew my nails. i chew mynails! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, mynails, i see. no, don't eat the nails, mike. you should not eat nails. mike, that's a lot of nails. >> and the best part about selling your blood is it's an unlimited resource!

when you get low, your body just makes more. >> jimmy: yeah, like a cow in a lot of ways. oh no -- mike, are you all right? mike? >> lizzie mcguire! oh, i'm still here. i thought you got me cancel cultured like fox news did because i stole away lou dobbs. >> jimmy: that's what i want to ask you about. fox claims it had nothing to do with lou dobbs, it says the reason your ads aren't running is because you haven't paid your bill. >> well, that's crazy! if you don't pay your power bill they don't turn the lights off! >> jimmy: yeah, they do. >> they do? >> jimmy: yeah. they do. >> well then you just run an extension cord from over at dave nagurski's place and nows-ya-knows it. you can still watch that sally jesse raphael fella. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think sally jesse rafael is -- whoa -- mike? wake up, mike. mike? oh, no. mike? >> jesus, mary and steenbergen! where am i? >> jimmy: you're bleeding out in a motel bathtub. >> oh, thank god! [ phone ringing ]

>> jimmy: i'm worried about you, mike. >> oh, hold on, we got a buyer! hello? oh, koneecheeweechee yoshida-san. ha! >> jimmy: what that is? >> it's one of my japanese customers. they buy a lot of my plasma to make the tvs. [ laughter ] well, you drive a hard bargain but if you really want the big toe i guess we can throw that in too. juno, get in here! this little piggy's goin' to market! >> jimmy: oh, no, mike -- if i don't see you again, it was nice knowing you. >> tell jane fonda i love her even though she's a vietnamese! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: doing all right, doing all right. we have a good show for you tonight. chrissy teigen and david chang are here. [ cheers and applause ] we've got music from sierra ferrell, and we'll be right back with terry crews. so stick around!

results or just rhetoric. californians deserve a senator who is going to deliver for them every day and not just talk a good game. adam schiff. he held a dangerous president accountable. he also helped lower drug costs, bring good jobs back home, and build affordable housing. now he's running for the senate. our economy, our democracy, our planet. this is why we fight. i'm adam schiff, and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back to the show. tonight their new show is called "chrissy and dave dine out."

chrissy teigen and david chang. [ cheers and applause ] then later, from charleston, west virginia, her new album "trail of flowers" comes out march 22nd. music from sierra ferrell. [ cheers and applause ] next week, we are back at it with new shows and guests including snoop dogg, kate and oliver hudson, lisa ann walter, day-vine joy randolph, the new bachelor will be with us. milo ventimiglia, tom segura, and jason momoa. with music from charley crockett, alkaline trio, and vacations. so please join us for every bit of that. our first guest is one of very few people who can say he played for the rams and starred in "cloudy with a chance of meatballs 2." [ laughter ] he is host of the talent competition show "agt: fantasy league." it airs monday nights on nbc. please welcome terry crews. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> yeah! >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> it's good to see you. >> jimmy: when we embraced, it felt like somebody put a bunch of bowling balls in an outfit. >> it's nice and solid now, isn't it? >> jimmy: yeah. very, very solid. you work out, right? >> oh, dude. first of all, it's my peace, man. i work out two hours a day. >> jimmy: are you at home doing this? >> yes. when the pandemic happened, i created this whole home gym. i used to like to go to the gym and the whole thing. now i'm all by myself. i love, love this. >> jimmy: you play music? what do you do in there? >> music, audiobooks, the whole thing. i learned to treat my body like it's a prime sports car, you know what i mean? i go in there and tinker on it all day. i can get this better, i can get that better. i'm 55, man. 55 years old. [ cheers and applause ]

yes. you don't have to give it up, you know? that's what i realized. >> jimmy: you are a very disciplined person. you go to bed really early, right? >> i got to bed at 8:30. >> jimmy: 8:30 at night. >> my wife always says, "what are you, in fourth grade?" yes. but i wake up at 4:30 a.m., 5:00 a.m., and get in that gym. and i'm in there doing my thing, i'm already, like -- i've done four hours of great stuff before the day starts, you know what i'm saying? >> jimmy: nice. >> i find that's my -- i'm weird, man. >> jimmy: you don't eat either? >> i'm just a weird dude. >> jimmy: what's your eating schedule? >> i do intermittent fasting. this is part of my weird schedule. my wife hates this. i start at 2:00 p.m. i don't eat anything until 2:00 p.m. and my last meal usually is before i go to bed, like 8:00. >> jimmy: it sounds like you're having a terrible life. [ laughter ] >> but you know what? this is the thing, man. this is what i discovered. i used to eat all day.

i remember at 18, i could down three pizzas. >> jimmy: sure. >> i'd be like, ha ha! then all of a sudden, one year, i was back in my 40s. and i was like, oh, i don't feel good, what is happening? and i realized i wasn't in shape, i was just young. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> know what i mean? just young. once you get older, you realize, wait a minute, i have to think about everything i'm putting in my body. >> jimmy: you're thinking about it a lot. [ cheers and applause ] this is right after thanksgiving. >> but this is the thing, though. listen. i love to eat. i love when me -- i know you have david chang on. i love david chang. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> i'm a big restaurant fan. i also love sweets. i work out so i can have the pound cake. so i can have -- >> jimmy: so you can eat in that 3 1/2-hour window a day. >> exactly. i paid the price for this cherry pie, and dammit, get away from me, you know? but this is the thing. i also learned what i can and can't eat, you know? like there are some things -- i

used to make my own ice cream. i made some cream cheese ice cream. oh my god. >> jimmy: what do you mean, how do you make cream cheese ice cream? >> dude, it's absolutely fantastic. this is the problem. i'd had it right before bed. it reacted with me are when i say i farted all night -- [ laughter ] i couldn't stop farting. it was into the gym, 5:00 a.m., i'm still going. my wife is like, "no more cream cheese ice cream, man, that is banned in our house." >> jimmy: oh, your poor wife. >> oh, it was bad. >> jimmy: oh, the family, yeah. >> i'm sorry. oh, uh! >> jimmy: i know you played football in college. were you in the theater program also? >> no, i did not. but i had a radio show. >> jimmy: you did? i did that too. i had a radio show in college too, yeah. no one was listening to our show. literally, we'd try to give a pizza away to the seventh caller and no callers came in. [ laughter ] >> oh, that's bad.

>> jimmy: it was bad. >> that's bad. every saturday night at western michigan university in kalamazoo, we had a show called "darwin's theory." my best friend's name was darwin, and he was the deejay. i was the emcee. we would play music from 11:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m. dude, it was so much fun. >> jimmy: everybody listened to it? >> well, it was -- in fact, at the time, kalamazoo was pop radio. we would playhouse and hip-hop. it was back when hip-hop wasn't all out there. he would mix them. it was so much fun, man. >> jimmy: yeah, there's nothing more fun than that. then you get feedback from your friends and you feel, something exciting's happening. >> yes, people noticed us. we had a calling and a following. i remember -- we didn't make any money, but gas like a party every saturday night. >> jimmy: right. >> it got so bad, people wanted to come on. so we had --

>> jimmy: like friends? >> we had friends come through, yeah, yeah. we had one guy, this dude got gott on the mic and he starts calling me on the. "this dude, you owe me money. this dude, you ain't nothing." i'm, "hey, hey, play the song, man." we were like, oh, wow. we dodged a bullet, right? this dude comes back. he's got a black eye. [ laughter ] he's beat up, man. he's got a busted lip. "oh, man, you can't say stuff on the radio, man." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know what, if he'd been on my college radio show, he would have been fine. [ laughter ] terry crews is with us. "agt: fantasy league." we'll be right back. ♪r-e-s-p-e-c-t♪ ♪find out what it means to me.♪ ♪r-e-s-p-e-c-t♪ ♪take care of t-c-b♪ ♪(sock it to me, sock it to me)♪ ♪(sock it to me, sock it to me)♪ ♪a little respect♪ ♪(sock it to me, sock it to me)♪ ♪whoa, babe. a little respect.♪ ♪(just a little bit)♪ ♪i get tired.♪ ♪(just a little bit)♪

♪keep on tryin'♪ ♪(just a little bit)♪ applebee's all you can eat riblets, shrimp and boneless wings are back for just $14.99. applebee's. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. who says you can't go for bold without going broke... get the brands you want, the prices you want, whenever you want. tj maxx where you can always afford to be you to the maxx. it's time to feed the dogs real food, not highly processed pellets. the farmer's dog is fresh food made with whole meat and veggies. it's not dry food. it's not wet food. it's just real food. it's an idea whose time has come. you give eye exams. i give fresh starts. better vision, healthy eyes? everybody wants that. "hero doc saves vision!" well, i— —"hero owl saves money!" get 50% off lenses when you buy designer frames at america's best.

direct deposits come up to two days early with early pay day. what if everything came two days early? (hero) have a good weekend! alright now...have a good weekend. (co-worker) but it's wednesday... (co-worker 2) see you monday! (co-worker 3) am i missing something? (hero) it's the weekend baby... see you later. (vo) like getting things two days early? when it comes to payday, you can with wells fargo. (co-worker 4) what are you doing this weekend?

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: terry crews us with us. he is the host of "agt: fantasy league" airs monday nights on nbc. how long have you been doing the fantasy league? this is a new thing? >> fantasy league is new, but i've been hosting "agt" sister 2019. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what is the difference between the regular show and the fantasy league? >> fantasy league is different. you know the judges. they're always competing on the regular show and the whole thing. this time it's no -- there's no hiding it. it's all a competition. >> jimmy: between them? >> right. it makes things interesting, because now, just like fantasy sports, you have your team. you have your act that's on your team. >> jimmy: gotcha. >> and it competes against the others. >> jimmy: clever.

>> and these guys are going at it, man, it's really wonderful. >> jimmy: you've got simon, howie, heidi, mel b. >> heidi and mel b. is back. >> jimmy: who's your favorite of the group, of the four? >> simon. >> jimmy: simon's your favorite? >> simon is my man. simon hand-picked me for this. he's been my biggest champion. >> jimmy: you are part of his fantasy league. >> yes. it feels good. he's like, "terry, i love your attitude. i love what you bring." i was like, yeah, that's all good, man! >> jimmy: most people don't know, i happen to know this because i asked you about it once, that you are bald by choice? >> exactly. >> jimmy: you could have hair if you wanted to? >> i have a head full of hair. i shave it every day. every morning. that's part of my weird discipline. >> jimmy: what did you do decide to do this? >> this is the story, kind of crazy. back in 1991, i had the most beautiful flattop you could imagine. >> jimmy: oh, really, flattop? >> i'm talking it was angled, it was beautiful, i got married in it. you can see the pictures.

it's faded up, it's beautiful. my wife would put a blond streak in it at times. she was a hairstylist, so she'd put a blond streak, it was beautiful. i went to the nfl, "me and my hightop, it's so beautiful." and i got cut. i'm like, oh, man, barbershops cost money. i had no money, i literally was broke. michael jordan was coming around and his bald thing was sexy. i'm going to be like michael jordan! and i put my hair off. i went, i'm going all-out, i'm shaving it off. and i was so disappointed. >> jimmy: were you really? >> wait, first of all, i didn't know it was lumpy. [ laughter ] i had no idea. there was lumps in my head, right? >> jimmy: a little little bit of walnut going on. >> i thought, is this the brain, is this my brain? [ laughter ] then it was like -- it was wintertime. so my face was a different color than my head. [ laughter ] and i was like, what is happening? my wife was like, what did you do? [ laughter ] i was like, can't go back now.

i wore a beanie and the whole thing. but wand was, we got used to it. people are like, "hey, man, that looks kind of tough." >> jimmy: there you go. >> you got lumpy head, like a bulldog. yeah, really? thank you. and dude -- >> jimmy: i would love to see what you look like with hair. we have some wigs here. [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: would you mind? >> i would love to. >> jimmy: okay. all right. >> okay. >> jimmy: this is -- i think this is a beatles -- >> i'm going to go down with it. >> jimmy: this is like a beatles look here. let's see. oh! [ applause ] not bad, actually. not bad at all. this is -- oh, this is a good one. this is a "star wars" theme. >> all right, here we go, here we go. bam! [ cheers and applause ] pew!

dude. i've been in rock 'n' roll. i invented it. >> jimmy: what about country music? >> oh, let's go, let's go, let's do it. >> jimmy: here we go. [ cheers and applause ] >> hey! >> jimmy: that's pretty good. >> i dig it, man. i dig it. >> jimmy: i got one more for you here. this is a classic. this is a classic from the '90s. >> hit me. >> jimmy: probably the most famous hairstyle of the '90s. ladies and gentlemen, we give you the rachel. [ cheers and applause ] >> pretty good. >> jimmy: you know what, maybe wear it at home, give your wife a little thrill. >> i will. we going to do this tonight. thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: i'll be over at 8:35. "agt: fantasy league" mondays at

8:00 on nbc and the following day on peacock. terry crews, everybody. we'll be back with chrissy and david. (vo) it's ultimate endless shrimp with another limited-time flavor drop. new crispy salt & vinegar shrimp. it's all that... and a batch of shrimp. now one of seven endless choices. only at red lobster. welcome to fun dining. shopify's point of sale system helps you sell at every stage of your business. with fast and secure payment. card

readers you can rely on. and one place to manage it all. whatever the stage, businesses that grow grow with shopify. somedays, i cover up because of my moderate to severe plaque psoriasis. now i feel free to bare my skin, thanks to skyrizi. ♪(uplifting music)♪ ♪nothing is everything♪ i'm celebrating my clearer skin... my way. with skyrizi, 3 out of 4 people achieved 90% clearer skin at 4 months. in another study, most people had 90% clearer skin, even at 5 years. and skyrizi is just 4 doses a year, after 2 starter doses. serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine, or plan to. thanks to clearer skin with skyrizi - this is my moment. there's nothing on my skin and that means everything! ♪nothing is everything♪

now's the time. ask your doctor about skyrizi, the #1 dermatologist-prescribed biologic in psoriasis. learn how abbvie could help you save. juliana, big mac, no pickles, extra special sauce. and jimena, quarter pounder with cheese, extra pickles, no onions. thanks dad! ♪ you got it! ♪ [bubble pops] ♪ buy one favorite like a big mac, ♪ and get another for just a buck. ♪ right now at mcdonald's. ♪

(♪)

it's that feeling when you're at disneyland resort. now, kids 3-9 can visit a disneyland resort theme park with a limited-time kids' special ticket offer. (♪) >> lou: next week on "jimmy kimmel live" -- who says you can't get everything you want? like going for bold without going broke... and staying true to your taste while staying on budget. who says rising costs means lowering the bar? settling? no need. get the brands you want, the prices you want, whenever you want. tj maxx where you can always afford to be you to the maxx.

whoa! the new iphone 15. with that amazing camera. i'll be sharing pics from the slope. you do not want to see yourself skiing. you look like a marshmallow! join t-mobile and get four new iphone 15s on us, and four lines of unlimited for $25 bucks a line. the chewy app has everything for pets. hungry pets, itchy pets, scratchy pets, and most importantly, your pet. every day great prices and 35% off your first authorship order. right to your door. download the chewy app. detect this: living with hiv, robert learned he can stay undetectable with fewer medicines. that's why he switched to dovato. dovato is a complete hiv treatment for some adults. no other complete hiv pill uses fewer medicines to help keep you undetectable than dovato.

detect this: marnina learned that most hiv pills contain 3 or 4 medicines. dovato is as effective with just 2. if you have hepatitis b, don't stop dovato without talking to your doctor. don't take dovato if you're allergic to its ingredients or taking dofetilide. this can cause serious or life-threatening side effects. if you have a rash or allergic reaction symptoms, stop dovato and get medical help right away. serious or life-threatening lactic acid buildup and liver problems can occur. tell your doctor if you have kidney or liver problems, or if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or considering pregnancy. dovato may harm an unborn baby. most common side effects are headache, nausea, diarrhea, trouble sleeping, tiredness, and anxiety. detect this: you could stay undetectable with fewer medicines. ask your doctor about dovato.

the right age for neutrogena® retinol? that's whenever you want it to be. it has derm-proven retinol that targets vital cell turnover, evens skin tone, and smooths fine lines. with visible results in just one week. neutrogena® retinol can i get the 10 piece chicken mcnuggets? wait, no, big mac. hmm. [cars honking] sir? i'm still here! [bubble pops] get one favorite like a big mac ♪ or 10 piece chicken mcnuggets ♪ and get another for just a buck. ♪ right now at mcdonald's. ♪ look at these humans, just walking past the chance to save nearly $750. hey, you! look. here. look at this. -[ gasps ] -come on. let's go. oh, boy. ooh, that didn't turn out how you wanted. switch to progressive, and you could save hundreds. i finally found what i've been looking for. mmhmm. (electronic sounds) oh my gosh. i know. how is this stuff so good? hidden valley ranch. ♪only serious about flavor.♪

...katie porter's whiteboard is one way she's: [news anchor] ...often seen grilling top executives of banks, big pharma, even top administration officials. katie porter. never taken corporate pac money - never will. leading the fight to ban congressional stock trading. and the only democrat who opposed wasteful “earmarks” that fund politicians' pet projects. katie porter. focused on your challenges - from lowering housing costs to fighting climate change. shake up the senate - with democrat katie porter. i'm katie porter and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back. music from sierra ferrell is on the way. our next guests are two people who like food so much, they made a show about it. it's called "chrissy and dave dine out." >> why am i ever going to eat a pizza that doesn't have smoked mozzarella on it ever again? >> jimmy: mozzarella is great, then you smoke it on top of it? there's nothing it won't go on. >> we use it as lube. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: chrissy and dave dine out" is wednesdays on freeform, the next day on hulu. please welcome chrissy teigen and david chang! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: how are you? >> so good. i was saying, like, you're a zaddy now. >> jimmy: what does that mean? >> such a -- i was watching you backstage. and i just -- i find you to be a zaddy. >> jimmy: is that good? >> it's like a hot daddy. >> jimmy: oh, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> yes. >> he's always been a zaddy to me, always. >> jimmy: didn't you say i was a saddy? well, that's very kind of you. you look fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: dave, you look -- you know, fine. [ laughter ] >> thank you, i'll take it. >> jimmy: you guys -- i know you guys are friends. and we're all friends. and i wonder, though, because i never asked you how you met each other, how you became friends in the first place? >> we've been friends since before i could even drink. so i was 20 years old when i met you. i'm 38 now. john and i lived across from the hell's angels in the east village, and we heard about mamafuku noodle bar, and we just started going there as much as possible.

three, four times a week. then i bought your cookbook. and i just fell in love with everything that is david chang. >> jimmy: it was -- was that the first cookbook that got you into cooking? >> it was a difficult cookbook. when you go to a cookbook and it says, "turn to page 109, page 110" -- but i felt so accomplished cooking from his book, and it was worth it every single time. if we were not eating at noodle bar, we were cooking from your book. >> jimmy: would chrissy take advantage of knowing you and call for details on the cookbook and the recipes in the cookbook? >> she used us almost as her private kitchen, as well. [ laughter ] but they really were some of our first customers. you know? and we developed a relationship that way. >> yeah, i was scared. i would call, "duck fat." things were so foreign to me. this is so long ago. they would package it up in a chef's cup for me and give me ingredients to make his food at home. >> jimmy: that's a very high-end version of "can i borrow a cup

of sugar?" [ laughter ] you see the clip, that was at the end my wife, molly. >> oh, she's the best. >> jimmy: we joined you for dinner at pizzeria bianco, our favorite pizza place, chris bianco's place. >> he's one of the best chefs in the world, makes the best pizza in l.a. >> and the passion. >> jimmy: molly also -- i do are i do want to apologize for my wife using the word "lube" on your show. >> oh, no. oh, no. >> jimmy: i don't know where that came from, i'd never heard her use that word. [ laughter ] usually we use duck fat. [ laughter ] >> that actually would be great, i think. >> jimmy: are your kids good eaters? >> well, my daughter -- john -- they're in the first row. [ cheers and applause ] luna is the best eater. luna's amazing. salads, vegetables.

miles has still hnot had a vegetable. >> jimmy: never? >> he accidentally ate a broccoli floret in fried rice and was so upset about it. >> they don't like vegetables either. >> jimmy: do you try it -- it makes me feel so much better, because my daughter, she will not eat -- even barely a fruit, we can barely get her to eat anything. hearing that you guys can't do that too, i don't know why it makes me feel better. >> no, it's trouble. i've gone on a zoom call with the school before where they talked about picky eaters. they say it's the only thing they really have control over at that age. >> jimmy: it's so funny. they say that, the kids don't have control. yet they seem to have control of every aspect -- >> everything else, i know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: every minute of our lives. >> i know. >> jimmy: so you guys -- what other restaurants did you eat at? >> oh my god. young vaughn society. >> providence. >> jimmy: you pick great spots,

yeah. >> really incredible spots that opened my world. because you know in l.a. you feel like you can get a vibe or you can get good food, but rarely both. then when you had sent out the list of our final choices, they were life-changing to me. i mean, the stories behind each chef. how they survived during the pandemic. it became like an emotional, big, beautiful thing. >> jimmy: dave, as a chef i have a question for you. when you send things out, when you know somebody's in the restaurant, like you guys are in the restaurant, you know somebody's there. you send something out to the table, or whatever they order off the menu. do you check to see if they ate it afterwards? >> always. [ laughter ] >> oh, no, that's my worst nightmare. >> jimmy: i'm glad to hear that. >> yes. >> jimmy: because i've been stuffing myself unnecessarily. [ laughter ] for fear that that might be happening. >> i think there are cameras. >> that's why chefs love when you come to their restaurants. >> jimmy: because i'm a glutton? yeah. you know, i one time was in montreal, and i had the most canadian dish i think

imaginable. >> horse? >> jimmy: even more canadian. the chef's dad shot a moose. and you're not really supposed to serve game. >> uh-huh? >> jimmy: he served us the moose heart drizzled with maple syrup. which i didn't want. [ laughter ] but no one in my group would touch it. and so i ate like three-quarters of a moose heart. i had antlers in the morning. [ laughter ] but that would be -- would you be watching a situation like that? >> i mean -- that's done out of love, right? but at the same time, i feel bad. you know, you can eat too much, you want to be a good guest -- but you're still wanting them to eat everything. >> jimmy: right. so -- i don't know -- did i do good or bad? >> all i want to see is the effort. your other dining companions that avoided it, they're blacklisted. >> jimmy: i see, okay. do you get paralyzed looking at

the menu at a restaurant you really want to eat at? >> i'm the orderer for every table we dine at or are you? >> i don't want to be the orderer, but everyone thinks i should order. i don't want that responsibility. >> i like it. >> jimmy: i feel that way when i'm with you. usually i'm the orderer. and i'm like, oh, good, dave's here. he can be the orderer. >> it's too much pressure. >> jimmy: do you feel that? i never got that sense from you. >> i have to act like i've been there before. >> jimmy: i see. >> in reality, i'm not feeling good about the decisions. >> oh, i like it. >> jimmy: you seem very decisive. whatever your doing. is there anything the two of you are not on the same page as far as food goes, food-wise? >> i eat a lot at night in bed. >> jimmy: oh. >> he disagrees with that. >> jimmy: what do you mean in bed? >> laying on my side, it's 10:30. usually we get up around 8:30 p.m. john will make me a sandwich or quesadillas. we'll precook the fajita

business to throw in a quesad quesadilla. i'm a nighttime eater. and it's gotten to the point where i'm so exhausted. >> let me give you the picture. she's sleeping. the bed stand is here. she wakes up, she grabs the sandwich and she puts it in her mouth, in bed. >> totally asleep. >> jimmy: first of all, how do you know this? [ laughter ] [ applause ] and secondly, terry crews just fainted backstage. [ laughter ] he does not approve. >> it used tonight time eggs. hard-boiled eggs with sriracha, something to pop in my mouth while i'm sleeping. it's gotten really sick because i'm so physically tired from having so many children that there will be ants that crawl towards me and my food. >> jimmy: really? >> and i don't even care anymore. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know you guys have a lot of business opportunities. edible pillows. think about it. [ laughter ] chrissy and dave dine out. watch it wednesday, premieres wednesday on freeform, see it

the next day on hulu. chrissy teigen and david chang, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with sierra ferrell.

>> jimmy: thanks to terry crews,

chrissy teigen, and david chang. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next, but first, "trail of flowers" comes out march 22nd. making her television debut with the song "fox hunt," sierra ferrell! [ cheers and applause ] which are ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ take the path down to the river it is hunting time ♪ ♪ clothe the kids and feed the children oh the meat is fine ♪ ♪ don't let them dogs out of your sight don't let them slip through your hands ♪ ♪ just chase that fox down through the pine

through the cold river ♪ ♪ bend ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ take the path down to the river it is hunting time ♪ ♪ to clothe the kids and feed the children oh the meat is fine ♪ ♪ don't let them dogs out of your sight ♪ ♪ don't let them slip through your hands just chase that fox ♪ ♪ down through the pine through the cold river bend ♪ ♪ ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ i'm just a hunter ♪ ♪ ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh just trying to survive ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ with a gun in hand and my man we go into the woods i know just what i need ♪ ♪ to do and yes it's understood rumbling belly ♪ ♪ shaking limbs we're gonna try and make a stand ♪ ♪ we're not going anywhere without a prize from the land ♪ ♪ ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh i'm just a hunter ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ just trying to survive ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ ♪ i'm just a hunter i'm just trying to survive ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this is "nightline." >> byron: tonight, scott peterson shocking. a new twist in the case that