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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 23, 2024 11:35pm-12:38am PST

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seven bay area app connected tv app. >> it's available for apple tv, google tv, amazon fire tv, and roku. download the app now and you can start streaming. >> all right. thank you. so much for watching tonight. i'm ama daetz and i'm dan ashley for spencer christian larry biel, all of us here. >> we appreciate your time right now on jimmy kimmel jason momoa and lisa ann walter have a great night why was the presence of a president and how they reacted on a foreign policy from a foreign policy standpoint, it's so important to you? >> you know, we potentially face three conflicts on the global stage. we've always been a beacon for
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democraty -- the globe. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- jason momoa. lisa ann walter. and music from alkaline trio. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everybody. thank you. appreciate that. welcome. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us. please relax. i know it's exciting. all eyes were upon us this morning. the whole town got up bright and early for oscar nomination day. i have to say, i love oscar nomination day.
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for the 8th year in a row, i texted matt damon at 5:30 a.m. [ laughter ] to let him know he didn't get one again. [ laughter ] his movie did, though. despite his grotesque presence, "oppenheimer" was the big one this morning with 13 nominations -- [ cheers and applause ] including best picture. "poor things" scored 11. martin scorsese is now the most-nominated living director. his movie "killers of the flower moon" got ten nominations. and "barbie" was nominated for eight academy awards. [ cheers and applause ] which who would have imagined? when you heard they were making a movie about barbie, that it would get nominated for eight academy awards, including best picture? who knew, maybe a 5-year-old girl? [ laughter ] margot robbie and greta gerwig were not nominated for acting or directing. whereas ryan gosling was. he got a nomination for playing ken, which, ironically, was kind of the plot of the "barbie" movie. [ laughter ] it's pretty crazy. ryan gosling plays a guy with no testicles and gets an oscar nomination. [ laughter ] ron desantis does it and he has to drop out of the primary. [ cheers and applause ] it's unfair.
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not fair. another one in the mix for best picture is "anatomy of a fall," which is a french film about the murder trial of a famous person accused of killing their spouse. it's like the french o.j. trial. or as they called it, the "au jus" trial. [ laughter ] 91-year-old composer and conductor john williams is now the oldest oscar nominee ever, beating himself. god bless him. [ laughter ] 91 years old and still beating himself. i have to say -- [ laughter ] once again, donald trump was cheated out of an oscar nomination by the radical left-wing academy. which is a shame because he loves movies. so much so, he brings them up all the time. >> you know, the movie i'm talking about, right? "a star is born." "air force one." "whatter happened to "gone with the wind"? "beauty and the beast." "the champ." "chinatown." "the dark knight rise" which is commonly known as the batman
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movie. "deliverance." "the good, the bad, and the ugly." "mission: impossible." classic indian films like "ddlj" and "shojei." the winner as movie from south korea, what the hell is that all about? has anybody seen "silence of the lambs"? "star wars," "national treasure." did somebody say "spartacus"? "the titanic." "2 fast 2 furious." "raging bull." "top gun." name of the movie, come on. "death wish." remember that? we're going to cut you up, sir, we're going to cut you up, oh, oh, oh! bing. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, the "bing" was the best part of the movie. thank you, draft dodger ebert. two tiny thumbs up. today was the new hampshire primary.
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republicans in new hampshire had a major choice to make. who do you vote for? the woman who would become their party's first-ever female nominee for president? or the first guy on trial for or the first man on trial for defamation related to sexual assault? it's a tough one. haley got off to a strong start. she won all the votes in dixville notch, which was the first town to count this morning. unfortunately, they only have six registered voters in dixville notch. [ laughter ] haley had a unique advantage in new hampshire. like the state, her initials are "nh." [ laughter ] which, after tonight, will stand for "not happening." [ laughter ] trump has called for nikki haley to drop out. she said, "i don't no what he tells me to do." which is going to be extra funny when she drops out and immediately endorses him. [ laughter ] but that might not be for a while. haley will almost certainly stay in the race until the primary in her home state of south carolina next month. and she might just be hanging around in case trump goes to
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prison. they would need another option. [ laughter ] she keeps saying trump and biden are too old to be president, and he doesn't like that at all. >> nikki haley says she has the two-person race she's always wanted. she keeps bringing up your age. what do you say about that? >> i think i'm a lot sharper than her. i would do this, sit down right now and take an aptitude test, and it would be my result against her result, and she's not going to win, not even come close to winning. >> he is something. he differentiates one whale from one giraffe and all of a sudden he thinks he's ken jennings. [ laughter ] i say, if he's challenging her, if this is his idea, let's do this. she should call him on that immediately, right? do not let him off the hook. take him up on it. let's get that test going. the two of you need to sit down, side by side, live television. not so close that he can cheat off you, but close. [ laughter ] we can put a divider between we can put a divider between you so he doesn't get chicken nugget grease on your dress. [ laughter ] let's find out whose brain works and whose doesn't. we'll call it "cognition:
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impossible." [ laughter ] it would be the television event of the year. first question, mr. trump. define the word "aptitude." [ laughter ] "that's when the plane goes up." i'd love to host that show. i bet he couldn't pass the quiz on a denny's placemat. [ laughter ] over the weekend, trump quite obviously confused nikki haley with nancy pelosi. he made a speech accusing nikki haley of mishandling january 6th. but this was interesting. greg kelly of newsmax saw that slipup differently. he believes it makes a case for the former president's cognitive abilities. >> let's look at the names for a second. nancy pelosi. nikki haley. all right? they both start with ns, end in vowels, the first name and the last name. the names arguably are rather similar, okay? but i think he actually meant to say "nikki haley." he said it on purpose. and the fake news fell for it. >> jimmy: my god, he's right! trump was testing us, and he got
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us again! [ laughter ] he made a mistake, on purpose! he made himself look like an idiot intentionally. [ laughter ] then we think he's an idiot! that's how smart he is. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] she's like he's playing -- we're playing checkers, he's playing chess or something. [ laughter ] maybe candyland, i don't know. you know, we haven't seen a whole lot of melania lately. she has not been on the campaign trail. but brian kilmeade of "fox and friends" believes she is about to step up and play a bigger role. >> she always did play a big role. she was somebody that you could rely on. very smart, very compassionate person. she wants to -- she really wants to say she wants to make america great again, too. i would rely on her for advice and all the others. it was really -- i think she's going to be very active in the sense of being active. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right. in the sense of being active, you might even say she'll be
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actively active. [ laughter ] which i assume they haven't spoken in years. [ laughter ] and then, kilmeade took the opportunity to kiss trump's sizeable, but slightly less-sizeable, ass. >> you look like you're in fighting shape. how much weight did you lose? >> maybe 15, maybe 20. >> how? >> the hard way, i work. no i've been so busy, i haven't been -- haven't been able to eat very much. i'm not able to sit down and eat like a person -- like you, you can sit down and eat. me, it's a little bit tougher. >> jimmy: okay, so he's on ozempic for sure. [ laughter ] it's always fun to watch him exaggerate numbers in realtime. how much weight did you lose? "maybe 15, maybe 20. actually, 50." [ laughter ] "people come up to me crying, saying, sir how did you lose 100 pounds? and i say 200. i work too hard to eat." [ laughter ] trump made his final pitch to voters in new hampshire last night. wrapped things up with another one of his famous "i have a nightmare" speeches. [ laughter ] this is when he plays dramatic
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music under his words to try and scare the hell out of everyone. >> we have become a drug-infested, crime-ridden nation which is incapable of solving even the smallest, smallest problem. the simplest of problems, we can no longer solve. we can't do anything. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what an uplifting message. thank you, dr. martin loser king. [ laughter ] for sharing that with us. [ cheers and applause ] that's something we can all rally around. yeah, i don't know if you saw -- i don't know if you've ever seen this. i was at cvs the other night. i took a photograph. can we put that on the screen? [ laughter ] you know these, depend. i thought it was depends but i guess it's depend. i'm going to call it depends because that's how it is in my brain. apparently they're hiring "bachelor" contestants to be on the packages now. [ laughter ] are we to believe men this age
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are using depends? imagine being a model and booking this job? "great news. they loved you." "who loved me?" "ummm depends." [ laughter ] "depends on what?" "no, depends. the diapers for adults." i stood there and really wondered what it must be like to be the face of diapers. so, we tracked down the models. all three of them. we managed to find them. i'd like you now to welcome laith wallschleger, rumando kelley and stu lee. [ cheers and applause ] holding up their depends. it's like we've assembled the avengers of incontinence here. [ laughter ] >> boom! >> jimmy: well, first of all, thank you for joining us. also, i'm so sorry. [ laughter ] now, have you ever met each other? >> no. >> no. >> never. >> no. >> first time. >> jimmy: okay. and -- >> no. >> first time. >> jimmy: first of all, let's start with laith.
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you're a football player? >> i used to play in the nfl for the arizona cardinals. then i pleaed a little arena football after that. now i am happily retired. >> jimmy: do your teammates know about this? are you aware that you are on the bag there? >> oh, yeah. they're wearing them before games, man. [ laughter ] it's how they warm up. >> jimmy: all right, rumando, what do you do besides this? >> i was a teacher, sixth grade, language arts. >> jimmy: oh my god. >> yeah. >> jimmy: sixth grade, language arts? did the students ever see you in the diaper? [ laughter ] >> unfortunately -- yes. >> jimmy: they did. >> couple of times. >> jimmy: how did they react to that? boy, we had some teachers that i don't think they would have survived. [ laughter ] >> i survived. >> jimmy: you did. and also, rumando, i want to point out, not only are you -- this is you on just for men also, the hair dye, right?
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[ laughter ] >> that's me. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: are there other embarrassing packages that we should know about? [ laughter ] little trojan condomettes or something like that? >> no trojan condomettes, those are the only two. >> jimmy: and stu lee, you have a ph.d.? >> i do. [ laughter ] nuclear physics, nuclear engineering, comparative scene science, and went to modeling underwear. >> jimmy: like a mod of people, you got bored with nuclear physics and went into underwear. these aren't actually underwear, they're under underwater, right? >> emergency. >> underwear underwear, yeah. >> jimmy: have any of you ever worn these in a practical way? [ laughter ] >> sometime whiz got to mow the
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lawn and it's raining, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you ever get noticed at the drugstore? >> when i'm in the aisle, in the depends aisle, yeah. >> jimmy: why would you ever be in the depends aisle? [ laughter ] are you hanging around, hoping to get recognized? >> what happens. >> jimmy: how much do you make? what's the range of how much you make to be humiliated for the rest of your life? [ laughter ] >> millions, jimmy, millions. >> jimmy: millions, all right. so it is worth it. have you ever been asked to autograph a package or anything like that? [ laughter ] >> yes. i went to my friend's wedding. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> i signed a pair of depends, and i said, "be the husband she can always depend on." [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: well, this is -- i really appreciate you guys being
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a part of this. i mean, you would think that you wouldn't want to be on television in a situation like this. and yet you guys defied the odds. stu, stu, are you the most overqualified person to ever model adult undergarments? >> yeah, probably. yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, well thank you, fellows. i appreciate your time. [ cheers and applause ] if you have any other projects, please let us know, all right? >> jimmy, we're sending you a free pair, man, it's on its way. >> jimmy: great thing is i could talk to these guys for an hour, they'd never need a bathroom break. [ laughter ] we have a fun show tonight. lisa ann walter from "abbott elementary." we've got music from alkaline trio. and we'll be right back with jason momoa. stick around!
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direct deposits come up to two days early with early pay day. what if everything came two days early? (hero) have a good weekend! alright now...have a good weekend. (co-worker) but it's wednesday... (co-worker 2) see you monday! (co-worker 3) am i missing something? (hero) it's the weekend baby... see you later. (vo) like getting things two days early? when it comes to payday, you can with wells fargo. (co-worker 4) what are you doing this weekend?
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>> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back to the show. tonight, she is one of the stars of "abbott elementary" and earlier tonight, she won "celebrity jeopardy." lisa ann walter is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, from chicago, this is their 10th album called "blood, hair and eyeballs." it comes out friday. music from alkaline trio. [ cheers and applause ]
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tomorrow night, our old pal snoop dogg will be here. comedian tom segura will be with us. we'll have music from mammoth wvh, wolfgang van halen. please join us for that. our first guest is the actor who made aquaman manly again. you can ride along as he visits artists, adventurers and a guitarist named slash in his documentary series "on the roam." watch new episodes thursdays on max. please welcome jason momoa. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: wow, look at you. how are you?
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that one's in the show, right? [ whoops ] how you doing? that one seems dangerous. more dangerous than the others. yes? >> it's extremely dangerous. >> jimmy: very dangerous. no air bags or anything. >> no air bags. barely brakes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you ever -- before you go on a long motorcycle ride, you ever slip into a pair of depends just to make sure you're comfy and dry along the way? [ laughter ] >> i was a little nervous coming out. i could have used them earlier. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> i'm good. >> jimmy: good? everything's good? >> everything's good. a lot of new shifts happening. i'm going to get ready for "minecraft." >> jimmy: last time you were here, you were wearing a loincloth. [ cheers ] which made a big impression on a lot of people. and i, by the way, went to hawaii not long after you were on the show. i met like 13 people who told me they were your cousin. [ laughter ] >> they probably are.
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>> jimmy: do you go back there a lot? >> i do. yeah. i've been shooting there quite a bit lately. >> jimmy: you've been shooting there are you what show? >> "chief of war." >> jimmy: which comes out -- you don't know when yet? >> not yet. >> jimmy: is it done yet? >> it's -- yes. >> jimmy: did you have fun shooting in hawaii? because sometimes shooting in the place where you grew up is not great. >> when i was younger, i was excited to leave. and now all i want to do is be back home. >> jimmy: interesting. >> yeah, i've -- i've stretched out and i'm ready to come back home and be home. >> jimmy: were you there when the volcano erupted? >> yeah. both of them. >> jimmy: you were. >> yeah. mauna loa and kilauea went off, i think the first time in written history, two volcanos went up. and it happened -- >> jimmy: simultaneous. >> yeah, one day later. i was actually directing the finale. we were on the lava fields.
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and i'd said at the very beginning of shooting, "the volcanos are going to go off when we do this." everyone didn't believe me. i'm like," it's going to go off." >> jimmy: you had a feeling about it? >> 100%. >> jimmy: really? >> i'm driving with my best friend brian, "the volcanos are going to go off tonight." and sure enough, that was 11:00, and at 4:00 in the morning we got the call that mauna loa went off. >> jimmy: you have a best friend named brian? [ laughter ] >> yeah. brian bethesda. >> jimmy: did brian freak out? because if you'd said that to me and then it happened that night, i'd be like, let's get on a plane, we're going to las vegas, not another word. i want to place some bets. because that is remarkable. >> it is. >> jimmy: is it something you say every night to brian as you guys drive home? [ laughter ] >> "volcano's going off." no. sorry. >> jimmy: which came first, the motorcycles or the tattoos for you as a young man? >> motorcycles. >> jimmy: motorcycles.
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at what age did you get on a motorcycle? >> i must have been around 8 or something like that. 8 or 9. it was -- my mom's friend, we were over at their house. it was one of the older gentlemen. and i jumped on the back, and that was the first time. i was like, i want one, mommy. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> she knew what i was like, and "absolutely not." and so eventually i bought my first harley when i was 19. >> jimmy: so she did not -- >> there's no way. >> jimmy: no, no. what was your first harley? what was the one that you bought? >> i got a '57 pan head, and i named it after my grandmother, name's mabel. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how long did you ride mabel? you still have mabel? >> i still have mabel. i shot a movie about her. she was in "road diploma" with me. but i don't ride her anymore because i have fond memories, now we have other bikes to ride. so i just -- i want it to go to my children at some point. >> jimmy: they're in the show with you, even? >> they are. >> jimmy: yeah. that's fun. boy, i have to say, doing a show
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like this is so appealing. because -- and correct me if i have any of this wrong, because i was watching the show and it's basically like jason momoa shows up, and they drop everything and teach you everything they know about whatever they're doing. and these are all things that you love? >> that's kind of it. >> jimmy: that's kind of it. [ laughter ] >> i mean, there's a little more in there. yeah, it's -- it's -- it is, it's -- there's so many things i want to learn. i'm so passionate about learning in different art forms. just like, make a show about it. >> jimmy: you feel you were learning -- like, did you get any practical information? something that you could do after sitting with one of these guys? i saw you with a guy who was making jewelry, a guy who was making weapons? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: you could make a weapon? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: a good weapon or a terrible weapon? >> it would be able to hurt you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like a serious weapon? you could probably hurt me with your necklace, i feel like. [ laughter ] >> sharp as a spoon, that's a hell of a spoon you got there.
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>> jimmy: last time you were here, i think you mentioned that you liked to steal things, right? [ laughter ] something to that effect? >> not what i said, not what i said. i just -- >> jimmy: you're a collector? >> yeah. >> jimmy: of things that you don't own? [ laughter ] [ applause ] is that a good way of putting it? >> i feel like if i worked and i've bled and i've sweat, you know -- blood, sweat, and tears went into being this movie, i could maybe take one of these things home without asking. >> jimmy: what did you take from "aquaman"? you did five -- appeared as "aquaman" five times? >> something like that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i think five times. what do you take? did you take anything? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> they used a lot of mine, too. like these jeans were in "aquaman." they were mine. i let them use them. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're saying you --
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part of the fee, the rental fee that you had, was that you would in exchange take something else? >> yes. they give the trident. >> jimmy: of course you have to have the trident, yeah. i mean, that's -- >> i don't actually have it yet. >> jimmy: oh. >> i just got a text from my producer, "it will be delivered tomorrow." >> jimmy: tomorrow you get the trident? >> tomorrow i finally get the trident. >> jimmy: what if a pack of gum comes? are you going to be pissed? >> i'll be back on the show. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. we're going to see a clip from your new show. it's called "on the roam." jason momoa is here. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back. >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live!" are brought to you by moonpie. if you're an alien, moonpie wants your business. seriously. . i prep without pills. with apretude, a prescription medicine used to reduce the risk of hiv without daily prep pills. with one shot every other month, just 6 times a year. in studies, apretude was proven superior
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but we need an atm from our bank unless you want to spend a small fortune in fees. uh, no, thank you. banking with us means more fee-free atms than the two largest us banks combined. well, that would be convenient but there is no b-m-o here. ah, you can just call us bee-mo, and there is now. you know what else is convenient? mobile banking that makes it easy to track your goals and manage your money get out of town. but we... just got here. when a bank helps you get and stay ahead. that's the bmo effect. ♪ bmo ♪ you may know adam schiff's work to protect the rule of law, when a bank helps you get and stay ahead. or to build affordable housing, or write california's patients bill of rights. but i know adam through the big brother program. we've been brothers since i was seven. he stood by my side as i graduated from yale, and i stood by his side when he married eve, the love of his life. i'm a little biased, but take it from adam's little brother. he'll make us all proud
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i wanted to switch it to springer, but i think the bike we're doing for you, it's perfect for that. >> absolutely. >> we'll rip it apart. >> it's frozen -- >> [ bleep ]. >> it's [ bleep ] frozen, yeah. >> oh, yeah. >> oh, yeah. ♪ >> like we're making thor's hammer. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, thor is a different superhero. jason momoa's show "on the roam" which you can see thursdays on max. you're supposed to be wearing safety glasses when you operate a torch of that type, correct? >> yes, you are.
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>> jimmy: yes, you are. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: safety is not your number one concern? >> you wanted me to ride on here. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm pretty sure that's illegal. there's no way we were supposed to -- the smell of fumes is still almost overwhelming me here. or that is your cologne? i don't know. >> it is. >> jimmy: you wear a gasol gasoline-based cologne? >> that smells good. >> jimmy: you go to various places, you visit artisans, people that are making cool stuff, stuff that interests you? >> well, for instance, we did this one where it's all -- when you play a character, like for bob avas, i love making all this stuff for my characters. helping out with wardrobe, building the knives, coming up with ideas. because you submerge -- you put your heart and soul into a character, oh this would be great, this would be great. but i actually want to learn to do those things. i'm going to these guys' house,
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living in their garage, banging out these knives with them, learning the craft. can i take that with me? i go to the show, then they turn them into the rubber so they can be safe, we fight other people. there's the art form of stunts and fighting and combat. and then the art form of capturing and acting and playing this other character. think i it's nice -- i think it's kind of cool to go -- i love just making that. then you guys -- and i love acting. and storytelling. just seeing the whole -- you know, the full circle of what it goes into or what i love in playing a character that you may love. so we have fast, 10 or 11. sorry. "fast 10." you know, there's "chief of war." i get to build a family knife for my kids. being able to do -- >> jimmy: a family knife? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that a thing? is that a thing, a family knife? >> just having my babies build -- share this moment, have a family heirloom.
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we built a knife together. my friend neil taught us. >> jimmy: the thing about having a babies is building a knife with them. [ laughter ] a family knife that you can -- pass around? i don't know what do you do with a family knife? is it a rubber family knife, a real family knife? >> it's a real one, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: who will get the family knife? are you worried the kids are going to fight over the family knife? >> there's a lot of knives. they're going to be good. >> jimmy: a whole set of knives to go around? >> that's the cool thing, too. i wanted to -- my favorite musician -- i built aquaman a little bit off of slash. >> jimmy: is that right? >> look at the first "justice league." i mean, that's slash. yeah, i wanted to play -- i mean, how do you dress up like aquaman? you're not going to put him in a polo and some khakis. [ laughter ] he was just rocking -- the way that zach designed -- like wanted him to be, he was rock 'n' roll. he punched superman in the face, kissed wonder woman. like he didn't care.
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we built this character. anyways, slash was so important in my life. and music. now i wanted -- i got to meet him. then we're talking about -- >> jimmy: you'd never met him before? >> i met him a couple of times before. i convinced him to maybe do this with me. so i have to interview him for the first time. i've never done a -- hats off, because i -- i was so nervous. >> jimmy: well, because a -- yeah. >> also geeking out. everyone's like, "oh my god, you're aquaman!" i'm like, "you're slash!" i can't talk right, i'm so nervous. i'm going to see his guitars. his original guitars. then we're going to take him a gibson and rebuild them and give them back to him -- give him the new ones he plays on stage. those ones he put in a safe. he's going to have something that looks like his original ones, do all craftsmanship. he plays them on stage. i get to see him in front of my kids. then it comes full circle. we made an extra one for charity. we're going to auction those off. and it goes to --
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>> jimmy: and of course you stole one for yourself, i assume. [ laughter ] which you have to do. no? >> no. the show has one. >> jimmy: the show has one. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: your show. >> i have other partners. >> jimmy: how did you get your theme song? when i was like, how did you get metallica to let you use their song for your theme song? >> i love them. they're awesome. [ laughter ] they're everything. i mean, i just -- i just really -- i love metallica. so i just asked them. begged them. >> jimmy: they said yeah? >> yeah. "on the roam," how perfect is this? >> jimmy: i thought maybe you had the title -- >> no, no, my production company's on their own. >> jimmy: oh, wow. was slash jealous when you called metallica and asked for -- >> [ laughter ] because you just told me he was your idol. [ laughter ] now i'm thinking maybe not, yeah. >> well, a as single guitar player, slash. as a group, metallica. >> i see. okay, all right. i'll take that. i think we can -- i think those guys will be okay.
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it's great to see you. the show is called "on the roam." you can watch it thursdays on max. jason mow mow washes everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, jason. we'll be back with lisa ann walter.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hello, there. music from alkaline trio is on the way. you know our next guest as the teacher who "knows a guy" for everything on the very popular show "abbot elementary." she is also a genius. earlier tonight, she won "celebrity jeopardy." please welcome lisa ann walter. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you promised me -- this is even better than a motorcycle. >> thank you. [ laughter ] it weighs more. >> jimmy: you made this for real? look at this. >> guillermo! let him have a bite. >> jimmy: guillermo -- >> i love to feed men. go ahead. get in there. >> jimmy: he went right for the
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meatball. >> i told you i was going to bring you pirzole. it's flank steak, then you put garlic and cheese -- >> jimmy: you roll it all up. >> you roll it, you stick toothpicks in it, you fry it, put it in the sauce. >> jimmy: are you going to eat it all? >> guillermo: half and half. >> jimmy: we'll split it. >> you want some? [ cheers and applause ] i brought a whole separate contain sxwler where did you get that fork? do you keep one handy? [ laughter ] >> guillermo: yeah, in case someone brings food. >> he walked over here with a fork like he had it in his pocket. >> jimmy: this is delicious. what's this one over here? >> it's all the meats. >> jimmy: wait, this one has cheese in it. >> yes, that's a sunday dinner. >> jimmy: i guess we should stop and do an interview, i'm so sorry. >> that's all right, enjoy. >> jimmy: thank you, very good. >> guillermo: thank you. >> come back later and have more. >> guillermo: i will. >> i tried to give some to jason momoa, but he was on the way out. i tell you what, there is nothing i like better than feeding a guy. but when they're a big guy, it
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makes me feel like a petite flower. [ laughter ] i don't like to be with a little tiny man. >> jimmy: no, you need somebody -- >> bigger than me, got to be bigger than me, that eats. >> jimmy: of course, of course, of course. i'm going to try to concentrate now. i saw you at the people. it was very good to see you there. >> it was lovely to see you. >> jimmy: we ran into each other in the scrum. >> i saw you, you were talking to bill hader. bill hader, you know. [ cheers and applause ] brilliant, i loved him in everything. i kept running into him at all these award shows. he was always talking to someone else. like two nights before, we were at something, he was talking to quinta brunson, my boss on "abbott elementary." [ cheers ] thank you. for quinta, too. whenever i see him, he's in the middle of a conversation. i'm just kind of happening by, "how you doing?" the person pulls away to say hello. i swear, hader's like this for me. for god's sake. this one aga
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i think he actually hates me. >> jimmy: no, no, no. his name's hader with a "d," not a "t." [ laughter ] >> when somebody makes a show for themselves when they're an actor but also a assassin, there's a little bit of truth. >> jimmy: or maybe this is his way of connecting with you. it's like you're bit now. "oh, here we go again." >> no, i think he's annoyed. i don't think he knows who i am. this is quinta's publicist, why does she keep interrupting? >> jimmy: have you ever maze him prizole? go right to his stomach. >> bill, you're next. >> jimmy: i should congratulate you on something i assume is pretty exciting, based on your reaction. you won celebrity jeopardy tonight. [ cheers and applause ] we have a clip. >> i'm so sorry, he did not. he wagered $20,000. knocking him down to $1,100. lisa ann walter!
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you just won "celebrity jeopardy" and you won $1 million! congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you won a million dollars. [ cheers and applause ] you won a million dollars for charity. >> not for me, yes. >> jimmy: what charity did you win the million dollars for? >> entertainment community fund, which is -- they take care of people in our industry, not just the performers, but the crew and the writers, you know. we had some trouble this year. people needed a little extra help. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: right. that's great. >> yeah. >> jimmy: not only do you get a million dollars for charity, you got an $18 trophy here as well. [ laughter ] >> pick that thing up and tell me if that's not the heaviest plastic -- >> jimmy: it's pretty solid for plastic. where will this go? will this be displayed in your home? >> this incredibly tacky item has been sitting right underneath my television, right in front of my little recliner
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where i can look at it every day that i watch "jeopardy!." [ cheers and applause ] front and center. >> jimmy: was that really -- is that your show, "jeopardy!"? is this something that you've been working on your whole life? >> my mom was the "jeopardy!" given. >> jimmy: oh. >> my mom passed two years ago. she was a teacher, public school teacher in d.c. she taught me everything. sit in the car, talk radio was on. she'd get to a subject and go, "you know, back in the 1600s --" then radio would go off and we'd get an hour lecture about everything. that's where i picked up a lot of this stuff. the final "jeopardy!" the thing -- >> the answer to the question. >> you know what i mean. "jeopardy!" >> jimmy: the question was what? >> it was, what four-word literary trope started in the 1930s, something or other, a servant killed the mistress? and my mother was a murder mystery fanatic. she read everything voraciously, but mysteries were her thing.
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it immediately came to me. by the way, i was up with those guys at the beginning. then i fell behind because my buzzer thumb was just not working. >> jimmy: really? >> i knew all the classic composers, i knew every one, i just couldn't get in, so i was behind. one of those was going to win. absolutely. i had no chance. they said what four-word trope? i went, "the butler did it." wrote it down, didn't have a second thought. neither one of them got it. it was really just luck. >> jimmy: yeah, well no, not luck. it was mom. [ cheers and applause ] it pays to listen. you probably were annoyed when she was telling you all that stuff. >> yeah, a little bit. more when my dad would explain rock formations. [ laughter ] the physicist. my mom, it was history, and i was interested. >> jimmy: when does "abbott elementary" come back for season three? >> sfebruary 7th. [ cheers and applause ] we're so happy. >> jimmy: yeah. i mean, you've got a lot of trophies during the offseason. >> we picked up some hardware. nothing as big and fabulous as this.
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>> jimmy: no, nothing will ever compare to this. >> nothing that's red and black like you'd wear to a wedding. i don't know why i went -- >> jimmy: this is nobel prize winners who have nothing to compare. christmas something that really can't be topped. >> you cannot, no. we had a lot of love, the show did, from the critics obviously, but from audiences. >> jimmy: the fans and your fellow actors, et cetera. >> yes. after we won the best ensemble cast -- >> jimmy: everyone but bill hader, really, if you think about it. >> ah, bill. bill loves me. deep down, he loves me. >> jimmy: i feel like -- i feel like i need to get you guys together. are you single right now? are you -- yeah, you are, okay. >> why, you got somebody? >> jimmy: i don't know, maybe. [ laughter ] i'll hive to think about it. >> somebody to likes to eat. >> jimmy: somebody who loves meatballs. >> and wants to go to a trivia night with me. >> jimmy: trivia and italian food. >> you know what's weird is that --
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[ laughter ] somebody in the audience is like, hey! [ laughter ] i don't know. i just want -- it's so weird. as you get a little bit older, you just want to relax and have a good time. yes, jason momoa is hot eye candy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: about but you're not interested? >> no, i'm completely interested. >> jimmy: you are, okay, good. >> he wouldn't be. although there is some younger guys that slip into my dms. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do they really? [ cheers and applause ] do you respond, or do you ignore them? >> i -- i respond because i think that they're just being nice. and, like -- i talk to them like i'm their mom. [ laughter ] which i think they like. >> jimmy: yeah, right, maybe. [ laughter ] >> then it turns out -- sometimes they're famous. i'll go to work, "so-and-so was saying we should go to lunch, isn't that sweet, they want to go to lunch." they're all like, "girl, he wants to hit that, come on."
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: i would love, love, love, love, love, love, love to know which celebrities are hitting on you. maybe next time you're here we can go through your dms. bring your phone. lisa ann walter, the "jeopardy!" champion. season three of "abbott elementary" premieres february 7th here on abc. thank you, lisa. we'll be back with alkaline trio. to protect the rule of law, or to build affordable housing, or write california's patients bill of rights.
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but i know adam through the big brother program. we've been brothers since i was seven. he stood by my side as i graduated from yale, and i stood by his side when he married eve, the love of his life. i'm a little biased, but take it from adam's little brother. he'll make us all proud as california senator. i'm adam schiff and i approve this message. (vo) with fargo, the new virtual assistant from wells fargo, when dad brings up the importance of... (dad) building credit. (vo) ... you're ready. (daughter cutting him off) dad. fargo, what's my fico score? (dad) wow. it's a work of art. (vo) do you fargo? you can, with wells fargo. what else can fargo do? instantly tell you what you spend on things like food. (dad) fargo, what did i spend on groceries this month? (son) hey dad, can the guys stay for dinner? (dad) no. (vo) want faster, easier banking? you can, with wells fargo.
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>> jimmy: thanks to jason momoa and lisa ann walter. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but first, their album "blood, hair and eyeballs" comes out friday. here with the song "bad time," alkaline trio. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ thought you called me up that one time ♪ ♪ thought that i heard gunfire ♪ ♪ i stepped outside left a message saying hi ♪ ♪ i answered from a firefight
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told you it's a bad time ♪ ♪ but i can talk i really want to talk to you ♪ ♪ i'm being stalked by killer robots ♪ ♪ and i'm pretty sure they're bullet proof it's a bad time ♪ ♪ ♪ whoa oh ♪ ♪ whoa oh ♪ ♪ i thought to call you up so many times ♪ ♪ i heard gunfire in the dead of the night ♪ ♪ left a message saying hi i answered from a drive-by i really want to talk to you style. it's a bad time ♪ ♪ woah oh oh oh you're the only one ♪ ♪ that i can tell
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that i can talk to ♪ ♪ woah oh oh oh i should be under ♪ ♪ your spell right now your spell right now ♪ ♪ the way you move it moves me with no place left to go ♪ ♪ and your sweet voice leaves me speechless like you will never know ♪ ♪ i really wanna talk to you i really wanna talk to you ♪ ♪ i really wanna talk i really wanna talk to you ♪ ♪ i really wanna talk i really wanna talk to you ♪ ♪ woah oh oh oh and you're the only one ♪ ♪ that i can tell
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that i can talk to ♪ ♪ woah oh oh oh i should be under ♪ ♪ your spell right now your spell right now ♪ ♪ the way you move it moves me with no place left to go ♪ ♪ your sweet voice leaves me speechless ♪ ♪ like you will never know i really wanna talk to you ♪ [ cheers and applause ] tonight the showdown in new hampshire. >> former president donald trump now with back to back wins. >> you know we won new hampshir. three. three. >> byron: moving closer to the gop nomination. nikki haley narrowing the gap and vowing to stay in t

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