tv, amazon fire tv, as well as roku. download the app now and start streaming. all right, thank you so much for watching tonight i'm ama daetz and i'm dan ashley for sandyha patel reveal. >> all of us. we appreciate your time right now on jimmy kimmel oscar nominee paul giamatti. it should be good. >> have a great night. and that's your forecast. >> thank you very much. what have you got up at the weekend? >> my niece's surprise birthday party. >> oh, that's lovely. >> so that will be nice. >> not a surprise if she's watching this. >> oh, goodness me. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- paul giamatti.

jenny slate. and music from lukas nelson and p.o.t.r. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. thank you. hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us here. we had a three-day weekend. it was an eventful weekend. did anyone else get sued by george santos this weekend? [ laughter ] i am currently embroiled in what may be the most preposterous lawsuit of all-time. george santos, a man republicans kicked out of congress for being a fraud, is suing me for fraud. [ laughter ] this is the lawsuit. "james c. kimmel aka

jimmy kimmel" -- that's my secret pseudonym. [ laughter ] why didn't they list his pseudonyms, too? "george santos aka anthony devolder aka kitara ravache"? george has sued me, the show, and disney corporation. after he was removed from the house, george signed with cameo to make some money. we wrote some absolutely ridiculous messages for him to read. [ laughter ] we gave them the credit card number, and sure enough, he recorded the messages and sent them back to us. and now he's suing. he says we "deceived him under the guise of fandom, soliciting personalized videos only to then broadcast these on national television." and if there's one thing george santos will not stand for, it's using a fake name under false pretenses. [ laughter ] [ applause ]

i mean -- and by the way, the idea that he believed these messages, which get posted on the cameo site anyway, were from real fans? one of them was about a guy named gary. who ate six pounds of loose ground beef in under 30 minutes. [ laughter ] another one, was a message cot congratulating "my mom brenda" on the successful cloning of her beloved dog, adolph. he says he thought these were real messages. he claims he was duped. george is being represented by the prestigious law firm of pot, kettle, and black. [ laughter ] he's seeking $750,000 in damages, plus other damages to be determined in court. and that is why i'm setting up a gofundme. [ laughter ] a target of $355 million, so we can save this country. [ laughter ] this is so good. this is like getting sued for paternity by nick cannon. [ laughter ] speaking of fraud, it was a very long and arduous presidents' day weekend for our former

con-mander in chief. [ laughter ] on friday, donald trump was hit with a bigly fine by a judge in new york. he was ordered to pay $355 million which, when you work the interest in, adds up to more than $450 million. [ cheers and applause ] the judge has banned him -- he's not allowed to do business in new york for three years. he put a two-year ban on eric and don jor from doing business in new york and ordered them to pay $4 million apiece. which is scary. i mean, eric might have to sell his pokemon cards. [ laughter ] the judge said the trump family's "complete lack of contrition and remorse borders on pathological." which is actually one of the nicer things the judge has said about the trumps in years. after the verdict, trump was feeling let's just say perturbed. >> it's a very sad day for, in my opinion, the country. a new york state judge just r ruled, and he's crooked as you can get, and a lot of people

expected something like this but not for the amount -- a crooked new york state judge just ruled that i have to pay a fine of $355 million for having built a perfect company. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: perfect company. perfect phone call. perfect hair. perfect teeth. why does he have to be so perfect all the time? >> it's a ridiculous award. a fine of $355 million for doing a perfect job. for having paid back a loan with no defaults, with no problems. >> jimmy: well, maybe one problem. [ laughter ] maybe one $400 million problem. basically, what he got dinged for is claiming his assets were worth a lot more than they're worth when he needed to get a loan, claiming the same assets were worth less when it came to paying taxes. he is now claiming that they're worth more than the more he originally lied about them being worth. he wrote, "i have substantially understated my assets in the financial statements, not overstated them, as the corrupt

a.g. and judge seed." well, that's good news. then you won't have any trouble paying that $450 million fine! [ cheers and applause ] of course, the sad part is, his supporters believe he's being railroaded. there are a bunch of gofundme accounts set up to help pay this penalty. this one's up to almost $750,000. which i could use for the george santos thing, by the way. [ laughter ] but that is very good, by all means, keep giving this man your money. give hem all your money. cut back on those mango-flavored vape cartridges and scratch-off lotto tickets, and send it all to donald j. trump! i am sure he would do it for you. [ laughter ] i just know it right here. after the verdict, this is the scene outside trump tower. a bunch of people showed up with i guess they had these ready, "going out of business" signs. [ laughter ] you have to love new york. that's a presidents' day sale right there. [ laughter and applause ]

this is the kind of thing that really gets him. the criminal charges, he doesn't even comprehend. they don't even penetrate that hard florida brain in his head. but when you take his money away, that's the kind of thing that gets the trump family fired up. >> my father built the skyline of new york city. and this is the thanks he gets? >> jimmy: that's right. [ laughter ] his father built the skyline of new york city. you know that big statue lady? he built that. [ laughter ] he invented pizza, too. he's an amazing -- [ laughter ] meanwhile, daddy is working hard to find creative new ways to squeeze cash out of his dumbs. hair jordan made an appearance at sneaker-con in philadelphia on saturday to sell hightops. donald trump hightops. and listen to the crowd. they're not booing him, they're saying "shooooe." >> thank you very much. this is a big crowd, wow. a lot of emotion.

there's a lot of emotion in this room. thank you. thank you. so the really nice thing is, we have lines, and i want to thank chase, and i want to thank allen. we have lines going all around the block. they're going all around this -- they've never seen anything like this one. >> jimmy: yeah, no. we sure haven't. we have never seen a former president of the united states hawking shoes. [ laughter ] they're calling these "the never surrender high-top sneaker." they go for $399 a pair. and just like everything about donald trump, they are both subtle and tasteful. i mean, aren't these fabulous? [ laughter ] looks like something you'd wear on a flag day mall-walk with mr t. [ laughter ] according to the website, the sneakers are "bold, gold, and tough, just like president trump." and leathery. they forgot leathery. [ laughter ] the shoes are "super limited." just like our former president. [ laughter ] let me tell you something. if i wanted to buy an ugly pair of shoes from a mentally

unstable racist, i'll get a pair of yeezys. [ laughter and applause ] at least they look kind of cool. by the way, he's not just selling shoes. he's got new cologne. "trump victory 47" with a golden head. it's like a dildo on top of dildo. [ laughter ] our former president is selling gold high tops and cologne! like he owns a bodega or something. [ laughter ] you know, he's been whining incessantly about how these trials are an infringement on his first amendment rights, because if he's in court defending himself, he can't be out campaigning. and yet, somehow, he was able to work a footwear convention into his busy schedule. >> this country's not doing so well. we're going to turn this country around, fans. we're going to turn it around, fans. we're going to remember the young people. we're going to remember sneeber-con. you know that. we're going to remember the young people. the young people especially that wear sneakers, right?

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's right. under donald trump, young sneaker-wearers shall be forgotten no more. [ laughter ] >> you're all sneaker-heads. you're sneaker-heads, right? does everybody in the room consider themselves a sneaker-head? i think so. >> jimmy: this is a joke, right? [ laughter ] he's screwing with us. this has to be a joke. people like this can't possibly exist. >> yes, we need him! he's a christian, he's a good, honest man! they're after him for no reason! go out and vote for trump! vote trump! go out and vote for trump! he's a good man! look at his family! all good kids, all good kids, yes! [ chanting of "usa" ] >> jimmy: is she done? thank you, sweetheart.

security will escort you -- away from me. i want to know where these sneakers of his are made. there's no mention of it on the website. usually it's "made in the usa" or -- he just gave a speech in michigan saying we need to bring manufacturing back to the united states. what do you want to bet these sneakers are from china, or some other country? [ laughter ] by the way, in the interest of equal time, i should mention that president biden also just released his own line of sneakers. [ cheers ] they're pretty darn sweet. trump had a rally in a suburb of detroit over the weekend, you know there's been a lot of talk about whether our top two candidates are sharp enough to be president. which is why this was such an exciting opportunity to watch the inside of our stable genius' mind at work. >> joe biden allowed this to happen. we will call it from now on "biden migrant crime," okay? it's migrant crime. this is -- we'll call it -- bigrant. let's call it bigrant, biden

crime. oh, that's good. that's -- smart. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: very smart. brilliant, actually. what's the opposite of a brainstorm? [ laughter ] ♪ lean on me ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: that's called "the maga-rena." you know, they did a survey of political science experts and presidential historians. they asked them to rank all the american presidents. joe biden was ranked the 14th greatest president of all time. and trump was ranked last. which had to be especially hurtful because the survey was shared on fox news and foxnews.com. abe lincoln was number one. fdr was number two. obama was seventh. and out of all the presidents we've had, trump was ranked the worst. worse than nixon. worse than hoover. worse than dyson. worse than kenmore. which i know they're vacuum cleaners. [ laughter ] but you know what i mean, they suck. and it's a shame because no one has been more generous when it comes to sharing praise for

former presidents than donald trump. >> this is donald trump, hopefully your favorite president of all-time, better than lincoln, better than washington. he actually once said i'm the greatest president in the history of our country. and i said, does that include lincoln and washington? and he said yes. now he's got me down as the praes president in the history of our country, including george washington and abraham lincoln. i think i've done more for the black community than any other president. and let's take a pass on abraham lincoln. because he did good, although it's always questionable. abraham lincoln, of course if you negotiated it, you probably wouldn't even know who abraham lincoln was. i always said, i could be more presidential than any president in history, except for honest abe lieb conwhen he's wearing the hat. honest abe lincoln. they say he got the worst press of anybody. i disagree. they always said lincoln, nobody got treated worse than lincoln.

i believe i am treated worse. happy presidents' day, losers. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: happy presidents' day, mr. former president. we have a fun show for you tonight. jenny slate is with us tonight. we've got music from lukas nelson and p.o.t.r. and we'll be right back with paul giamatti. so stick around!

>> jimmy: hi, welcome back. tonight, a very funny comedian and actress. her new standup special is called "seasoned professional." jenny slate is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, his latest album is called "sticks and stones." music from lukas nelson and p.o.t.r. [ cheers and applause ] you can see them on tour, including a stop here in los angeles march 6th at the bellwether. later this week, join us with selena gomez, jeff goldblum, tyler james williams, rory scovel, ebon moss-bachrach, from "the bear." the cast of "oppenheimer" will be here. including cillian murphy, emily blunt, and robert downey jr. and we will have music from the

beaches. please join us for that or it becomes a waste of everyone's time. our first guest tonight is an exceptionally talented person having an exceptionally good year. he is nominated for an oscar for best actor for his movie "the holdovers." which you can and should see on peacock now. please give a big baba-booey to paul giamatti. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: it's very good to see you, how are you? >> nice to see you. i'm very good, thank you. >> jimmy: you don't come out here that much, do you? >> no, no, no. recently i have been. >> jimmy: yeah, right bark us you've been nominated for so many things. >> yes. >> jimmy: and rightfully so. >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: has anyone wished you a happy presidents' day? as a former john adams. [ laughter ] seems like you should get that. >> it's a special day for me.

unsurprisingly, i love it. i understand adams got ranked pretty high. >> jimmy: 13th. >> lucky 13. john adam. >> do you agree with that? >> it's better than he used to be. he used to be right down at the bottom. >> jimmy: i think you helped him. >> really? like "hamilton" kind of raised -- he was not a good president. >> jimmy: he wasn't. >> not a good president. >> jimmy: why do you say that? >> think he was a bad politician. he didn't like -- he was terrible at it. you know, he was always fighting with everybody. he couldn't gettin along with anybody. he didn't want to do it, really. he was bad at it. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. i imagine there are quite a few of them that don't want to do it. >> i would think a lot of people. i think you've got to be slightly out of your mind to want to do it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: 100%. he was a drinker, too? >> he was a big drinker. i think they all were. you couldn't drink the water. you'd get sick if you drink the water. apparently, every morning he would start with a big tankard of hard cider is how he started

every day. so he was hammered, basically. [ laughter ] first thing in the morning, he just -- and i think they all drank wine, they drank cider, they were hammered. >> jimmy: but he lived a long time? >> he lived to be 90-something. >> jimmy: maybe that's the way to go. maybe instead of those diet cokes trump should be drinking hard cider. by the way, first of all, great in everything. but "the holdovers" was absolutely -- [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. very nice. thank you. >> jimmy: really, like -- like kind of an old-fashioned -- not that old-fashioned but an old-fashioned movie, and i mean that in the best possible way. >> that was the idea for sure. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's a nice movie. you feel good after seeing it, hopefully. >> jimmy: you do, yeah. i that i maybe mixed feelings. >> mixed feelings, yes. >> jimmy: overall good. >> hopeful, yes. >> jimmy: overall in a good guys kind of maybe win. >> a little bit. people move forward a little

bit. >> jimmy: you had -- what do you call it? is it appropriate to call it a lazy eye? >> there's technical word for it, so let's call it lazy eye, that's okay, yes. >> jimmy: you had that in the movie. and that is not something you were doing? that was like a -- >> no, no, it's not -- you'd be surprised how many people think that's actually my eye, which i'm a -- a guy that i've known since i was 5 years old saw the movie, said for the first 20 minutes he kept thinking, "oh my god, has that poor guy's eye been like that all those years? i've known you literally 50 years." which means the thing was working, which is good. no, it's a lens. it's a contact lens. but it's pretty big. it cover the whole front of your eye. it's kind of soft. i don't like having things put in my eye. i don't want to wear contacts -- >> jimmy: who does, really. >> people get used to it, i just can't. so it's painted. this amazing artist painted on the eye. then it's sitting in there. it moves around on its own. it does all kinds of things so it looks very real. >> jimmy: you knew it was safe to be in your eye?

>> well, you know. the people that -- the professionals in the movie business assured me everything was fine. [ laughter ] and i trust them implicitly. >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> they have a special guy who has to be there. they have to have a guy. his job is putting those things in, taking them out. that's what he does. he's a lens technician. >> jimmy: that's all he does all day? >> all he does. it's a tricky thing to do because they're big. they've got to really just pop it in there like that. the other thing is, if we're outside and it's cold, there's some worry it's going to freeze to your eye ball. >> jimmy: oh, great, yeah. >> all kinds of dangers. >> jimmy: it was cold. >> i had to drive a car, i'm blind in one eye. >> jimmy: you can't see through that thing? >> i couldn't see. driving this old [ bleep ] car. it's like this old '70s car. then, "can you get closer to the curb?" "i can't see the curb." [ laughter and applause ] "guys, i can't see anything." >> jimmy: you genuinely risked your life for this film? >> i did.

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's something the is on car voters should be aware of. >> yes, they should, that's exactly right. frankly, i risked everybody's life. [ laughter ] but again, it worked, it looks real. >> jimmy: this is kind of i think unknown traditions of the oscars. they have a luncheon, they invite all the nominees. >> yes. >> jimmy: i've heard it as lot of fun. >> yeah. >> jimmy: everybody gets together in one room, they don't have to think about the oscar stuff -- >> you meet everybody. you meet the guy nominated for sound and stuff like that. you meet everybody. >> jimmy: do i have the photograph here? let's show the photograph. >> oh. >> jimmy: this is everybody. >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: now if we could zero in on paul. now paul is right there. [ laughter ] and paul, what i want to ask you about, i feel like i'm in it too, now. is this -- why is this guy right here -- >> that guy right there. >> jimmy: what's happening there? >> i believe he's a writer, i believe he wrote "anatomy of a fall." i clearly just said something really smart might have assey to

him. [ laughter ] it's like a class photo from second grade. i said something stupid. i don't remember what i said to him. but i do remember he was laughing. he said to me right after they took it, "oh, god, i had my hand in front of my face." i said, "don't worry, they won't use this one. [ laughter aand applause ] >> jimmy: we're going to have to find a better shot for this guy. >> this is it. that's his oscar. >> jimmy: yeah, he might never be in this room again. [ laughter ] >> no. look at me, i'm so pleased. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, i learned something about you that maybe is only interesting to each of us. but that you started your career in 1989 in seattle. that's where i kind of started my career. my first radio job was seattle in 1989. >> 19 i don't know. >> jimmy: why 1989. >> kzok,

station. the logo, i think it's still their logo, "not great, okay." [ laughter ] >> just okay. what do you think, seattle? it's okay. that's amazing. that's exactly what i was there. >> jimmy: what were you doing in seattle? this was after college, right? >> what wasn't i doing in seattle? it was right after college. i went to college, i went to yale university, new haven. so seattle was as far ain the continental united states as i could get from new haven, connecticut. i knew some people were in a theater -- i didn't know what i was going to i drifted out there. i had a girlfriend. seattle sounds exotic, i'll go out there. >> jimmy: was there a lot of acting going on? >> there was a lot of it. a lot of theater. a lot of black box, rough theater and stuff. a lot of movies and stuff like that. i kind of started my career there for sure. i got an agent. you know. >> jimmy: your agent was in seattle? >> yes. i had an agent in seattle. there were two. [ laughter ]

there were not that many actors. >> jimmy: what did you audition for? >> well, i think my first audition out there -- my first-ever audition, i auditioned for "america's most wanted." [ laughter ] my first audition. i remember -- i remember going in, and they showed me -- before i went in, they showed me a picture of the guy they wanted me to go in for. his name was larry or something. he was a bank-robbing child molester. [ laughter ] he was both things. and i looked exactly like this guy. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: oh, wow, you sure company. >> there's larry, the child-molesting bank robber. and i was like, this is in the bag, i got this, i don't have to do anything. i went into this weird windowless room with some guy, one other guy in there, very serious guy with a beard and glasses, sweater. i still to this day have no idea who the hell this guy was. "we're just going to do some improv, that is okay?" we're going to improve "america's most wanted?"

"you're larry, i'm going to be kathy, your girlfriend." he starts throwing this weird stuff at me. 80 need more cigarettes." you want me to leave the room and get cigarettes? then he starts going, "abe is coming back, he's outside, you can hear the car, go run to the window, run to the window and look out." there's no window. i'm looking at the wall. "abe is coming, abe is coming up." who the hell is abe? what are we talking about? "you can hear abe on the stairs, get your gun." my gun? where the hell is my gun? "abe is in the room, he's got a gun." i'm going, oh my god, abe! "abe is shooting you!" i go flying across the room. the old iron radiators. i'm lying on the ground. i break my shoulder. it was crazy. >> jimmy: did you get the part? >> i didn't get the job. [ laughter and applause. >> jimmy: i bet they gave to it abe. pail giamatti, everybody.

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are living in the moment and taking ibrance. ibrance with an aromatase inhibitor is for adults with hr positive, her2 negative metastatic breast cancer as the first hormonal based therapy. ibrance plus letrozole significantly delayed disease progression versus letrozole. ibrance may cause low white blood cell counts that may lead to serious infections. ibrance may cause severe inflammation of the lungs. both of these can lead to death. tell your doctor if you have new or worsening chest pain, cough, or trouble breathing. before taking ibrance, tell your doctor if you have fever, chills, or other signs of infection,

liver or kidney problems, are or plan to become pregnant, or are breastfeeding. for more information about side effects talk to your doctor. thanks, mom. be in your moment. ask your doctor about ibrance. a pfizer product. democrats agree. conservative republican steve garvey is the wrong choice for the senate. ...our republican opponent here on this stage has voted for donald trump twice. mr. garvey, you voted for him twice...

as your own man, what is your decision? garvey is wrong for california. but garvey's surging in the polls. fox news says garvey would be a boost to republican control of the senate. stop garvey. adam schiff for senate. i'm adam schiff, and i approve this message. i find the world a bitter and complicated place. and it seems to feel the same way about me. i think you and i have this in common. don't get me wrong, you have your challenges.

you're ever rattic and belligerent and a gigantic pain in the balls, but you are not your father. you're your own man. man, no. you're just a kid. you're just beginning. and you're smart. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is paul giamatti in "holdovers" which is on peacock and in the theaters as well right now. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that kid's really -- what is his name? >> dominic cessa. never acted before. the first time he's ever acted on film. >> jimmy: when te tell you your costar is somebody who's never acted before, does that worry you? >> yeah, a little about the. i saw his audition tape, my god this kid's amaze recognize i would never have known he'd never acted on film, he was incredible, amazing. >> jimmy: you won the british choice award. s.a.g. is coming up. you won the golden globe award. people were very tickled by this, by this idea that after the golden globes, you took the

golden globe to in-and-out. [ laughter ] >> i love in-and-out. >> jimmy: when people come to l.a., "we've got to go to in-and-out." it's like part of the deal. >> i love it, i love it. >> jimmy: did you cause a commotion in your tuxedo with your golden globe? >> there weren't a lot of people there. nobody really cared, actually. [ laughter ] that was funny about it, nobody really cared. >> jimmy: have you been back to the in-and-out. >> i stayed in the car. >> jimmy: people don't usually go into the in-and-out. >> no, because the line of cars was long. so i thought, it will be faster inside. >> jimmy: it's more out than in, in-and-out. [ laughter ] >> yes, it is. >> jimmy: did they send you anything? did they give you a card that gets you hamburgers for the wholest of your life? >> no, they didn't do [ bleep ] for me. [ laughter ] look at what i did for them. look at what i did for them, i got nothing from it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i told a few people you were coming, "you've got to ask him about the in-and-out." they owe you business-time. >> they owe me big-time.

>> jimmy: after the oscars, will you go to in-and-out? >> yes, probably. but i will stay in the car. >> jimmy: will you go to the in-and-out right town the block? >> there is one right down the block, i know that. i know where they all are. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you do? >> there's one i really like in the valley. >> jimmy: what do you order? >> just the simple, the number 1 with raw onion. >> jimmy: you don't ask for any weird off-mean ewe things in? >> no, i don't do all that stuff. >> jimmy: it would be fun to organize some kind of a mob for you at the in-and-out after the oscars. a bunch of giamatti-heads. >> i guess so. would that be good? i don't know, i don't know. >> jimmy: maybe not for you. not only did you go to yale in new haven, you're from new haven? >> i am from new haven? going to yale is like going to your local community college. [ laughter ] >> that's exactly right, local technical college. yeah, totally. >> jimmy: i would love to talk new haven pizza with you for a moment. i'm interested. i've not had it. >> are you a big pizza guy?

>> jimmy: very very much. >>ny pal tan thing. it's the neapolitans. >> jimmy: it's a little burnt? >> the crust -- depends which place you go. the crust is pretty chewy. i like it. it's thin. it's really -- oh, man, it's good. i literally have never had better pizza. i'm a snob about it. i've gone to italy and been like, no, this isn't good. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and you live in new york, too. >> where i get into all kinds of altear cases with people about it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: don't you think it's true whatever pizza you're exposed to growing up is the pizza for the rest of your life you think is the best one? >> that's probably true. my kid is a new yorker, hi took him to new haven, he doesn't like it. >> jimmy: what is the best pizza place in new haven? >> i think pepe's pizza there they invented the clam pizza? >> the white clam and bacon pizza. >> jimmy: all right, food. we've learned a lot from you. [ laughter ] >> fantastic. >> jimmy: it's great to see you.

>> nice to see you. >> jimmy: congratulations on your oscar nomination, s.a.g., all the various awards. "the holdovers," you should see it. it's in theaters and on peacock now. paul giamatti, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] rile be back with jenny slate. . now, there's skyrizi. ♪ things are looking up, i've got symptom relief. ♪ ♪ control of my crohn's means everything to me. ♪ ♪ control is everything to me. ♪ feel significant symptom relief at 4 weeks with skyrizi, including less abdominal pain and fewer bowel movements. skyrizi is the first il-23 inhibitor that can deliver remission and visibly improve damage of the intestinal lining. and the majority of people experienced long-lasting remission at one year. serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine or plan to. liver problems may occur in crohn's disease. ♪ now's the time to ask your gastroenterologist

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>> lou: this week on "jimmy kimmel live!"

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, welcome back. music from lucas nelson is on the way. our next guest is a very funny woman, and shoe-wearing shell. her new standup comedy special "seasoned professional" premieres friday on prime video. please welcome jenny slate. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> hello. >> jimmy: do you remember the last time we conversed? it was over zoom. >> i was going to say, it was a computer conversation. >> jimmy: it was. >> over zoom is the right way to say that. >> jimmy: on the show during covid. >> yes, yeah. >> jimmy: you just had your daughter, right? >> i was wearing the exact same dress, and i had just had my daughter. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and you still have your daughter, i assume? >> i've seen her around.

yeah, she's doing great. >> jimmy: oh, good. >> i still have her. she's a full-fledged to letter. >> jimmy: how old, how many years? >> 29. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: 29? >> she's 3. >> jimmy: 3 years old. is that fun? are you enjoying it? >> i think it's very fun. i think it's nice to see someone be so willful, you know? i'm more of a -- you know, like a little bit of that every now and then. [ laughter ] it's nice. the one thing i think is maybe hard is the ear worm situation. she doesn't have worms in her ears. [ laughter ] listening to the same song. >> jimmy: oh, yes. that's how they learn, yeah. >> even great songs. >> jimmy: what songs is she listening to? >> alicia keys' "girl on fire." >> jimmy: oh, wow. my daughter too loved -- still loves that song, but 3 years old, she would belt it out. >> let them do that. i really like it. what i like for me is that it's in here almost at all times.

and, like, we're speaking, and you know, this is a television show, but inside my head it's like -- ♪ do do do ♪ >> jimmy: that's the other songs that are in there or just that one? >> have you heard the one from "moana" that's like -- ♪ you're welcome ♪ >> jimmy: it could be worse. it could be "baby shark." >> i have that one as well, i just can't speak about it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: if you unleash that genie, it never goes back in. >> oh, man, yeah. don't get me started on "hot post." >> jimmy: by the way, my daughter, one of her favorite movies is "marshall the shell with no shoes on." "with shoes on," rather. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we watched it many times. it really is a wonderful movie. you were nominated, academy awards, for best animated feature, correct? >> that is correct, yeah. >> jimmy: and also, you were in "everything everywhere all at once" which won best picture.

>> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: right. [ cheers and applause ] >> yes. it was a -- it was a really -- it was a really, really exciting time. and i'll also say that my karmic balance really showed up, whatever that is for me, in that we also got lost on the way to the oscars. >> jimmy: you got lost on the way to the oscars? how is that possible? >> yeah. first of all, let me back up and say that i was lucky enough to wear a beautiful gown that i was, like -- i was so sewn into the gown. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> like a living doll. [ laughter ] but with this personality and these tendencies. [ laughter ] and they're like, "you're in." and i was like, "so when would i go to the bathroom?" they're like," not our problem, honestly." yeah. so what happened is i went to the oscars in a sprinter van, standing up. >> jimmy: no way. is that really true? why? >> because you can't get wrinkled. >> jimmy: you can't sit at all? >> you can't sit at all.

[ laughter ] well, so they were like, "you can sit when you get there." >> jimmy: okay. >> "you can't sit down because you'll get sprinkled." it's a sprinter van, which i'd never been inside of. i'm trying not to get kidnapped. [ laughter ] i'm like this. i'm like this. i'm like -- let me get that -- okay. i'm like this. and my husband was holding my butt on one side. and my -- my stylist, who got me this beautiful dress, was holding on the other side. we were driving around town. i'm like, "going to the ma!" "you'll be there in 17 minutes." a bunch of time goes by. i obviously have no idea what's going on. this feels longer than 17 minutes. i don't know how long that is. but we showed up at the hollywood bowl. i don't know. that's just like not where the oscars are. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. totally different place. >> no. just not at all. >> jimmy: not even -- doesn't even make sense. it's a huge outdoor amphitheater.

>> yeah. they've got -- the driver was like, "okay, here you go." and i was like, "oh, i don't think i do go here." [ laughter ] he was like, "i don't know." i was like, "you don't know?" "have you ever been there before?" i was like, to the oscar obviously not. i'm sewn into my press. not allowed to pee. this is not a julianne moore situation where i'm elegant and really know how to do this. so we're there -- >> jimmy: a julianne moore situation. >> she knows how to do it. >> jimmy: probably, right. >> anyway, finally make it to the oscars. got to get in there. our award for best animated feature was the first one up. i get in there. i sit down. and it splits. bup bup bup bup bup! guess what was out? my butt. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and not by choice. >> no. >> jimmy: no, yeah. >> yeah, no. >> jimmy: it was out -- how much

out? like all out? >> i would say it was half crack. [ laughter ] half crack. >> jimmy: and people -- if you were to walk up on stage, that would -- everyone that? >> oh, for sure. [ laughter ] we're the first award up. my butt's out. we lose right away. whew. right? so they have -- like you're, "i'm so glad that actually i'm the loser." [ laughter ] you're on tv. and i'm like -- my husband's sitting next to me. "my butt's out. my butt's out, babe." he's like, "should we leave?" "i don't know, let's get a drink." we go get a drink, we come back, our seats have been taken by a team of belgian filmmakers. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the belgians are clogging up your seats, yeah. >> they're clogging the seats. we sit in other seats that are weirdly more on camera. i'm like, i should just go, let's get out of here, my butt's

out and i lost. which is fine. and then i was like, oh, no, i'm actually, like, at a career high right now, i'm in two films. but my butt's out. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> as i keep saying. and then it ended up that "everything everywhere all at once" won many awards, including best picture. >> jimmy: yes, yes. >> yeah. totally deserved it. [ cheers and applause ] totally wonderful. and then -- >> jimmy: and you would expected to go up on stage. >> i waddled up there, holding my butt closed. i was on stage in the back. "i'm here, back here, thank you so much, back here." and then as i waddled off holding my butt closed, i saw you. >> jimmy: oh. >> and i was like, "so good to see you!" "great to see you." totally normal. he doesn't know my butt us a out. >> jimmy: i never know what people's butts are out. [ laughter ] >> that's the whole thing. >> jimmy: one of my things. i can't go to the zoo. [ laughter ] >> that's hollywood. >> jimmy: well, it all worked out, i guess.

i think so? >> i believe so, yeah. i'm not in jail. >> jimmy: i want to mention your very funny stand-up comedy special which is called "seasoned professional." >> yeah. >> jimmy: and also, you're writing a book of essays, is that correct? >> that is correct. >> jimmy: what makes it an essay? why is it an essay? >> man, this is the time when a student is like, can i go to the bathroom? >> jimmy: yeah, right, yeah. >> i guess what makes it an essay is that it has a point that it's trying to make, and it's not fictional. >> jimmy: i see. >> and it -- what do they say -- say what you're going to say, say what you said. >> jimmy: who says this? >> that's what teachers say. any teachers? >> jimmy: you know, honestly i wasn't paying attention in school. >> i know, we're both in trouble. you're out of here, your butt's out, get out. >> jimmy: it's great to see you. everything you do is very funny. jenny slate. [ cheers and applause ] "seasoned professional." watch that friday on prime video. we'll be back with lukas nelson and p.o.t.r.

millions of hard working families. they're working harder than ever and they still can't make enough to get by to afford food and medicine to even keep a roof over their heads. we need to build more housing that's truly affordable. we need to address this terrible epidemic of homelessness. we need to invest in good paying jobs, union jobs and investments in our future. this, this is why i'm running for the us senate. i'm adam schiff and i approve this message.

>> jimmy: thanks to paul giamatti and jenny slate. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but first, here with the title track to their album "sticks and

stones." lukas nelson and p.o.t.r! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ sometimes when i'm uninspired i take a hit to get me higher some folks might ♪ ♪ describe me as a sinner you can call me anything you could never ♪ ♪ hurt my feelings just try not to call me late for dinner ♪ ♪ sticks and stones may break my bones but you can't tell ♪ ♪ me nothing that'll hurt dust to dust we're all just pushing dirt ♪ ♪ sometimes i get

overwhelmed with all the people raising hell ♪ ♪ wasting all this precious little time easy does it ♪ ♪ can't you see you and me we're all just dreamin' ♪ ♪ you can take what's mine most any time sticks and stones ♪ ♪ may break my bones but you can't tell me nothing that'll hurt ♪ ♪ cause dust to dust we're all just pushing dirt ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ the only time that i get pissed the only time i ♪ ♪ can't resist my angry side that most won't ever see is when i ♪ ♪ see a human being take up arms against my kin then you'll see ♪ ♪ the fightin' side of me sticks and stones may break my bones ♪ ♪ but you can't tell me nothing that'll hurt dust to dust we're ♪ ♪ all just pushing dirt sticks and stones ♪ ♪ may break my bones but you can't tell ♪ ♪ me nothing that'll hurt

dust to dust we're all just pushing dirt ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, ruby franke sentenced. >> to my babies, my six little chicks, you are part of me. >> the utah momfluencer who once had 2.5 million followers on her tough love youtube channel in court today. >> i believed dark was light and right was wrong. >> apologizing to the children she confessed to abusing. >> keeping them home from school and wiping the floorboards woule