tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC March 1, 2024 11:35pm-12:38am PST
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hi, everybody. welcome. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us here in -- oh please, relax. traffic has come to a complete stop thanks to the president of the united states, who is here to raise money. i feel like if we got organized we could pay him more to not come. [ laughter ] took my wife an hour and a half to go six miles last night. they shut down everything. they closed all the roads from disneyland to magic mountain, all roads are closed. the traffic is slower than, well, this. [ laughter ] easy, easy, just be real careful, no need to rush, steady as we go. steady. just -- it's just a few more steps till we get -- we'll get you in that car. and there will be -- okay, all right, great. he made it.
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i mean, is there anything more heart-stopping than watching him walk down stairs? [ laughter ] it makes me feel like i'm in the movie "a quiet place." there's that much tension. [ laughter ] anyway, the president is here to raise money. and also to see if steven spielberg can day-age hilike he did harrison ford in the "indiana jones" movie. all the godless liberals were lined up for a star-studded event that made it very clear who hollywood backs in this election. >> hello, everyone. it's joey hollywood touching down in la la land to pick up some shekels from my showbiz pals. all the big names are going to be there. cary grant. liz taylor. sammy d. marilyn monroe. what's that? oh, apparently those stars are deceased. crack kills, folks. as my dear friend fred astaire always says -- fred will be there, right? when? in '87? so i packed my tip-tap shoes for nothing? okay, so here's the deal. any of you not dead movie stars
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who want to swing by the pool to hobnob at the beverly hilton, come on by. i'll be the one wearing swim trunks up to my big old nipples. eating some of that sweet gummy california candy you're all so proud of. anyone else got a craving for candy buttons? used to love to pick them off one by one, like a monkey eating ticks off a baby gorilla. what was i saying, again? oh, yeah. don't forget to get your kids spayed and neutered. >> this has been a message from president joe biden. >> what about the skipper from "gilligan's island," he dead? ah, dammit! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i've got bad news about the professor and marianne, too. the president may be old, and he is old. but even though he, by just about every measure, is doing a pretty solid job of running the country, he's been steering us through some very rough waters. he's not getting credit for it. this is unlike any modern
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election we've had, and so now, with that in mind, and i think this is smart, he wants to make it clear to american voters that the choice we are being asked to make in november is between him and a lunatic. >> briana, what we've learned is that president biden himself personally instructed some of his top campaign aides to be even more aggressive in highlighting some of president trump's more inflammatory and wild comments. we are told that the thrust of the president's direction was to significantly ramp up the campaign's efforts to highlight the crazy [ bleep ] that trump says in public. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, well, that's -- [ applause ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: "operation crazy [ bleep ]" is under way. [ laughter ] i think this is the right approach. it must be very frustrating for joe biden. having all these people doubting whether he is fit to be in office when he's running against hair mussolini. [ laughter ] fortunately, donald trump's doing everything he can to keep the crazy train moving.
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he had plenty to say last night at a fox news town hall where he confirmed a list of names on his running mate shortlist. including ron desantis. that's right. [ laughter ] the forecast is cloudy with a chance of meatball ron. [ laughter ] how is ron desantis on his short list? maybe he thinks it's a list of people who are short? [ laughter ] this is a guy, he has -- also on the list are tim scott, vivek ramaswamy, kristi noem, byron donalds, and tulsi gabbard. wow, what a group. he had better bookings on "celebrity apprentice." [ laughter ] it's like he went running mate shopping at goodwill. that's what they came up with. [ laughter ] his secret is while the other guys are focused on the major issues -- russia, nato, climate change, et cetera -- donald trump zeros in on the issues that don't even exist. >> they come out with faucets where no water comes out. if you go and buy a home, and they know what i mean, the showers, you stand under a shower, there's no water coming in.
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you end up standing there five times longer. in ohio, you have a great company that came to me, a dishwasher company, one of the biggest and finest companies, they were going out the business, they said, "we're not allowed to use water." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's true, it's true. all whirlpool products now run on sand. [ laughter ] what a strange and mysterious world he lives in. trump said the ruling against him in new york is a form of navalny, which is a disgusting thing to say. this is a fine he got. trump owes a lot of money, $355 million, which will become $450 million with interest. he'll probably file for bankruptcy to avoid paying it. the attorney general in new york, letitia james, said financial frauds are not victimless crimes. he engaged in a massive amount of fraud, it wasn't just a
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simple mistake -- like eric. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] she also said if he doesn't come up with the money, she might seize trump tower. turns out one of the downsides to putting your name on everything you own is everyone knows who owns it. [ laughter ] she could do it, too. it would be refreshing to see a woman grab his assets for a change. [ cheers and applause ] when you're attorney general, they let you do it, you don't even ask. [ laughter ] you just seize, you grab them by the property. trump needs to come up with $355 million to avoid having his prop seized. let's check in on his gofundme. that his fans have -- well, that's almost 900 -- okay, only $354 million to go. [ laughter ] and he should be square. i love that trump's supporters think he's super rich, but also needs money. [ laughter ] god bless the maga faithful.
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they buy into this, they worship this ape like he is their orange baby jesus. [ laughter ] >> went to mar-a-lago, how was that? >> it was awesome. the food was great. i had fish and chips. they were from scotland. they got a chef to come down. so they can get the actually -- the actual recipe from scotland. and so the fries were actually big and the fish and chips were actually crazy good. >> that's awesome. president trump invited you from the rally, it was just a popup rally? >> humble, he is such a humble man, he is such a people person. he is one of us and absolutely represents us. >> jimmy: right, right. he's very humble, humbly represents you. he humbly flew in a chef from scotland to steal his recipe for fish and chips. [ laughter ] i want to hear more from that kid. i'd like to see that kid become his running mate, wouldn't that be cool? [ laughter ] 10-year-old running mate? something to think about. the fish and chips are hitting the fan in washington right now
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where this biden impeachment clown show goes on and on in the house. you know how they've been trying to prove there's some kind of nefarious biden crime family? like the trump crime family? most of this is built around intelligence provided by an fbi "informant." the chair of the house judiciary committee, jim jordan, last month went on fox news and said this "highly credible" source was "the most corroborating evidence we have." well, last week, that informant was arrested and charged with lying about the whole thing. he got the information from russian spies. passed it along. that was their star witness. not only that, hunter biden's attorneys say the federal prosecutors who were searching his electronic devices mistakenly believed they found a picture of cocaine that was actually sawdust. >> look at that photo. from his phone. that the government, prosecutors, claim show lines of cocaine. that's what the government prosecutors are saying. they're saying that's sawdust. take a good look at sawdust that's lined up in perfect
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little lines. take a close look. does that look like sawdust to you? >> jimmy: yes. yes, it does, yes, yes. [ laughter ] yes is the answer, the answer is yes? [ applause ] not only does it look like sawdust, it is literally on a saw. [ laughter ] that's pure, uncut colombian cedar. [ laughter ] it's either sawdust, or a very well-placed ad for monster energy drink. [ laughter ] and you know hunter biden isn't the first president's son to learn you can't get high by snorting sawdust. i mean, why do you think don jr. always looks so sad in the woods? [ laughter ] you know, between the president's son, presidents' day, and this never-ending campaign, there's been a lot of potus talk this week. so we thought it'd be a perfect time to play our very popular game, "on the money!" [ cheers and applause ] it involves the president. it involves our announcer lou,
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who is standing by on hollywood boulevard. wow, look at the size of that steak behind you, lou. >> lou: oh, god. i'm hungry. >> jimmy: all right, lou. let's first meet our contestant tonight. hi, there. >> hi. >> jimmy: hi, tamara, how are you? >> i'm good, how are you? >> jimmy: i'm good. where are you from? >> i'm from oklahoma. >> jimmy: okay. what do you do for work? i'm a bartender. >> jimmy: oh, okay. this is perfect. do you deal with a lot of cash? >> i do. >> jimmy: okay, so here's how this works. i'm going to ask if you can identify whose face is on specific denominations of currency. >> okay. >> jimmy: if you get it right, you keep the coin. if i do get it wrong, you lose, you lose everything. you can walk away at any time, okay? >> okay. >> jimmy: all right, are you ready? let's start with the penny. okay? who is on the penny? >> oh. damn. president lincoln? >> jimmy: that is correct. [ cheers and applause ] abraham lincoln. now you have a decision to make. >> okay. >> jimmy: do you want to keep the penny? [ laughter ] or do you want to keep going? do you want to risk it? >> let's keep going.
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>> jimmy: let's keep going, she's going to keep going, everybody, all right. [ applause ] >> oh, lord. >> jimmy: tamara, whose face is on the nickel? >> oh. i do not look at the nickel. uh -- george washington? i don't know. >> jimmy: oh, i'm so sorry. that is absolutely incorrect. oh, tamara. lou, we do have a consolation prize for tamara? >> lou: we do, a margarita maker. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: okay, that's not bad. thank you, tamara. let's get somebody else in there, see if they can go a little bit farther than one cent. [ laughter ] oh, hello. is it papoo? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how are you? >> doing good. definitely nervous but hoping i'll do all right. >> jimmy: there's nothing to be nervous about at all, this is an almost completely insignificant amount of money we're playing for. [ laughter ] what do you do for work? >> i work at community work,
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primarily with higher education and the youth, helping do what i can to get them into higher education, pursue education. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, that's great. i'll be honest, it sounded like a lie, but let's play the game. [ laughter ] all right, first question is, who is on the penny? >> the penny. uh -- i don't -- i haven't held change in a minute. i'm going to guess abraham lincoln? >> jimmy: abraham lincoln is correct, that's right. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, i guess this game gets harder as we move towards a digital world. do you want to keep that penny, or do you want to keep going? >> uh -- i'm going to keep going. >> jimmy: you're going to keep going, okay, all right. a gambling man, i like that. >> let's do it. i'm going to roll my dice. >> jimmy: who is on the nickel? the united states nickel? 5 cents? >> um -- i'm for sure it's hopefully a president.
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>> jimmy: uh-huh? >> and i'm going to -- i'm going to say andrew jackson. i don't know. >> jimmy: oh -- wow, i'm so sorry, papoo, it is not. it is, in fact, thomas jefferson on the nickel. but we do -- what's our consolation prize? [ laughter ] >> lou: we've got a full set of tires. >> jimmy: a full set of radial -- >> there's two more, right? [ laughter ] >> lou: take those two and come back. >> jimmy: all right, thank you, papoo, i'm so sorry. one more. one more, let's get one more person in there. let's see who is there. we got -- all right. jeff, how are you, jeff? >> not too bad, how about yourself? >> jimmy: what do you do for work? >> i'm a plumber. >> jimmy: all right, good. all right. [ applause ] what's the weirdest thing you ever found in a toilet, jeff? >> i don't really go looking too hard. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. well, jeff, are you ready to play? >> i'm ready. >> jimmy: okay. who is on the penny, jeff? >> abraham lincoln. >> jimmy: that is correct, jeff.
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[ cheers and applause ] now do you want to stay and keep the penny, or do you want to keep going? >> let's keep going. >> jimmy: all right. [ cheers ] who is on the nickel? >> oh -- uh -- thomas jefferson. >> jimmy: that's right, jeff! [ cheers and applause ] wow. now jeff, you've got a decision here, you've got 6 cents. we could make it 60. do you want to keep going? >> let's keep rolling. >> jimmy: he's going to keep going, folks. jeff, who is on the dime? >> oh, no. uh -- not thomas jefferson. uh -- thomas jefferson. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: didn't you just say thomas jefferson? >> that's the only name going through my brain right now. >> jimmy: do you think he's on all the coins? >> no. >> jimmy: no. give it one more try, jeff. think of a different president.
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>> uh -- let's see -- jfk? >> jimmy: oh, no, i'm so sorry. wow. you know what, you lose all 6 of those cents. it was roosevelt. fdr. and what do we have for jeff there? >> lou: a ps-5. >> jimmy: i'm so sorry, jeff, you'll have to take this ps-5. [ cheers ] thank you for playing "on the money." wow, we've got to really work on that. we're going to have to -- the mint's got to get an ad campaign going, we've got a problem on our hands here. [ laughter ] we have a good show for you tonight. from "abbott elementary," tyler james williams is here. [ cheers and applause ] we have music from the beaches, and we'll be right back with jeff goldblum. and we'll be right back with jeff ghead & shoulders is so launching something huge. the bare minimum.
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conservative republican steve garvey is the wrong choice for the senate. ...our republican opponent here on this stage has voted for donald trump twice. mr. garvey, you voted for him twice... as your own man, what is your decision? garvey is wrong for california. but garvey's surging in the polls. fox news says garvey would be a boost to republican control of the senate. stop garvey. adam schiff for senate. i'm adam schiff, and i approve this message.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back. tonight from "abbott elementary," tyler james williams is with us. then later, a rock band from toronto. their album is called "blame my ex." music from the beaches. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night -- oh, we've got a big show tomorrow night. the nominated cast of best picture nominee "oppenheimer" will be with us. cillian murphy, emily blunt, and robert downey jr. plus comedian, rory scovel. >> jimmy: our first guest is an actor, musician, raconteur, and probably eleven other things too. his new animated film, "they shot the piano player," opens in theaters friday in new york and l.a. please welcome jeff goldblum. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: how are you? you look great. >> thank you. >> jimmy: are you feeling well? >> i'm feeling very well, thank you. oh, there's a little echo here, isn't there? >> jimmy: a little bit. >> is that just my resonant voice? >> jimmy: both. >> acousticky. >> jimmy: a bit of an echo in the room. >> nice to see you. >> jimmy: nice to see you, too. i saw you from across the stadium at the super bowl. >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: i think this video went viral, as a matter of fact. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: that's how you do it. >> that's what you do. i didn't know they were going to come upon me, as that seems. and i was just thrilled to be there. i was eating it up. >> jimmy: i think you got the biggest ovation, outside of the players, on the field of anybody in the whole game. i really do. >> i can't imagine that. >> jimmy: just by comparison, i would like to show you what happened when i was on the video. yeah. they didn't even notice that i was there. [ laughter ] it was just kelly clarkson. they didn't even notice carrot top was sitting next to me. [ laughter ] >> that's a mistake. did you know, for instance, i'm curious, did you know they were going to come upon you? >> jimmy: no, i had no idea. >> so what happens? when you see it on the jumbotron, what's going on? >> jimmy: my first inclination is to duck, is to hide. [ laughter ] yours is to take it in, perform, and really enjoy it. i think that shows the difference between our personalities. >> not necessarily. you're mr. outgoing.
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but i had a great, great time. i was happy to be amongst people. >> jimmy: i think they were happier to have you amongst them. now, did you -- have you been to a sporting event in las vegas before? >> yes, yes. i'm thinking of -- boxing -- i've been a boxing fan here and there. i went to that -- i went to a couple of things. i went to the tyson fight where he bit holyfield's ear. [ audience moaning ] >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> i'm telling you, i bet if you look up some of that footage, i'm sure you don't have it now, but i was like in the third row. so you see -- when i saw playback of it, i see me and my friend gary, who was at the super bowl, we've been friends a long time, we were there, and yeah, you see us. >> jimmy: did you know -- i was watching that on tv. did you know what was happening when it was happening? >> well -- only as it developed. but yes, after a few seconds, this is like the third round or something like that, it's a very exciting, electric event as you
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can imagine. i'm on the edge of my seat. violence, you know, gets you going. [ laughter ] and so -- ai-yi-yi, and holyfield is getting his licks, and mr. tyson is frustrated. and sure enough, something happens. holyfield goes, "no, no, no!" i see blood. i was close enough to see blood. and i go, what, what happened? "he bit his ear, he bit his ear." i jumped up, yelled something at him. >> jimmy: really? >> oh, yeah, no. i sort of knew it was coming. i knew it was happening. then he did it again. >> jimmy: people forget it was not just one ear, he bit both ears. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: he's very ocd that way. [ laughter ] if you bite one ear, you've got to get the other one, what a crazy thing. >> crazy thing. >> jimmy: it may be the craziest sporting event in history. has anything weirder than that ever happened? on like a major level? like on a big stage like that? i don't think so.
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and you were there to see it. >> i enjoyed seeing it. kids, how about your kids play sports, i would -- i've seen now charlie and river at a soccer -- >> jimmy: your sons. how old are your sons now? >> 8. charlie's 8, river's going to be 7, 7, yes. >> jimmy: they play soccer. they play other sports or just soccer? >> they're athletic. their mom is an olympic world-class athlete, gymnast. they might be talented. river thinks he's going to be a soccer player. >> jimmy: he does. >> that's very rarefied. >> jimmy: might, they're very good. >> they play tennis, too. and they're pretty good. >> jimmy: who's better? >> charlie, river? well, charlie is two years older. >> jimmy: okay. >> and he's kind of big. you should see -- he's big. he's got muscles and his legs -- and river is kind of cute and scrawny. but athletic. and jazzy and lively.
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but so -- so charlie being bigger, you know, he's dominant in many things. including greco-roman wrestling, which they engage in formally a lot. >> jimmy: they do. do they ever bite each other? is that something that enters your home? >> all manner of primal -- yes, there's biting and -- yes. yes. i have to protect myself. protect yourself at all times, like they tell the fighters. you know. >> jimmy: yeah, because they're right at that level. >> yes, they are. yes, they are. yes. and sometimes they like to gang up and "get dad, get him down, get him down!" you must know. >> jimmy: i have to tell my son, who's 6 years old, there's no spearing. where you lead with your head and go right into the -- >> they outlawed that. >> jimmy: "this is where you came from, boy." >> oh, yeah, no, i've had -- i've kept myself from serious injury. >> jimmy: this has got to be a few years old, then. i wanted to ask you about this
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photograph. >> look at that. >> jimmy: it's a cute photograph, but i want to ask you about what is happening here. you seem to be pouring orange juice in your cereal. [ laughter ] was that a funny moment for the photo? or was this something that you do? >> you know, i do not do it at the current -- right now. but somebody reminded me that i maybe used to do that for a moment. i like my foods. i like healthy eating. so i experiment. i've always experimented with some -- >> jimmy: you feel it's healthier to have orange juice instead of milk? >> oh, wise minds disagree, have disagreed through the decades. [ laughter ] about, you know, milk and yeah yeah yeah. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> currently, i like a nice whole milk. i also like oat milk and different things. i love cereal. i've been thrilled with, in love with cereal. >> jimmy: what's your favorite cereal? >> good question. good question. [ laughter ] hey, right now -- you know what i do, i make oatmeal. >> jimmy: okay. >> that's a very healthy thing, and i love it. i love the warmth. but if i had to have cold cereal and revisit it, not as healthy,
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i usually see what the kids have. cheerios and corn flakes. that's fine and dandy. but i went to the grocery store. now you mention it. the other day, myself. and got a chance to pick. you can't send anybody and describe -- i was like, "let me look at everything, let me look at the flakes." you know what i saw. the original life cereal. >> jimmy: oh, they're still making that? >> which was my passion. they are making it. i didn't get it because i looked at the ingredients, "i can do better than that." i was looking for a healthy flake. i got a flake. heritage? something, something. made of seven different grains. >> jimmy: yeah? >> i had some. okay. it's okay. >> jimmy: not as good as corn? yeah. >> i like corn, i like oats. does anybody remember a cereal that i was in love with when i was 7, maybe, called concentrate? >> jimmy: no. >> kellogg's concentrate. it was little, tiny flakes. >> jimmy: guillermo's not going to help you with that. [ laughter ] he has no idea. >> at the time, you know what i used to do, pour sugar on my cereal. >> jimmy: yeah, of course.
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>> and now the kids, i help them with their cereal, they go crazy, they like to be subversive with the honey. >> jimmy: oh, they use honey on their cereal? >> yes. they say, "i'll do it, i'll do it." they snatch it and go, "look what we're doing," eating the whole thing of honey. >> jimmy: why is every topic delightful to discuss with you? [ cheers and applause ] why are all the topic is -- let's take a break. jeff goldblum is here. the movie is, "they shot the piano player." ♪ (lively music) ♪ ♪ i'd do anything for you. ♪ ♪ do anything. ♪ 80% or more of your puppy's lifetime growth happens in the first year. that's why hill's science diet puppy food has the nutrients they need. and now at petsmart get 4,000 treats points when you spend $50 or more on hill's science diet. it's one of the many anything's at petsmart for your pup's first year. ♪ anything for you. ♪
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the very next day, i made plans to have a drink with my good friend jaoa, who's one of the people i know who knows most about brazilian music and i often go to him for help. he gave me the names of people i could talk to, and he gave me their phone numbers. and as he always does, he brought me a very sweet gift of records. >> out of print, impossible to find. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is "they shot the piano player." jeff goldblum's voice is heard there. this is a true story. your character is fictional. your character is not part of the true part of the story. >> that's right. my friend, fernando, who made a movie in spain and paris in 1988, '89, loves music, has made grammy-winning things about music. he's made grammy-winning things about music. he loves -- this is about brazilian music and about a guy he found, a piano player, named tonorio who was one of the pioneers and greats of brazilian
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jazz in the '50s and '60s. put out some albums. was influenced by thelonious monk and bill evans and duke ellington. the beats are this new kind of samba they're doing -- >> jimmy: really popular in american culture at that time? >> my parents would go on cruises and take dance lessons. "the girl from ipanema" and lyrics by vinicius de moraes is the second-most-recorded song last century. >> jimmy: is that right? behind "yesterday" by the beatles. he talked to people for the last 20 years and found out about this piano player, discovered how great he was. what got people talking. recorded them. then he was on a gig in '76 in argentina where there was, for a couple of years, a military dictatorship. they disappeared 35,000 people during that time.
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and this guy, after a gig with vinicius de moreas, went 2:00, 3:00 in the morning, went for a sandwich, got picked up by the people, got taken away, tortured, finally murdered. he now finds out. horrible, horrible. vinicius was haunted by it the rest of his life. this movie is taken from not only all those interviews he did and cut up -- i play him having conversations with these people as he discovers who this guy was, rediscovers him. can kind of allow you to discover him again. it's a kind of beautiful movie. it's animated by a wonderful guy. anyway. >> jimmy: that's great. [ cheers and applause ] you seem to keep in touch with old friends. you are still in touch with a lot of your old friends, i would guess? >> you mean like fernando? >> jimmy: also you said your friend you took to the super bowl who was with you at the boxing match? these are long-term relationships. >> yes, that's true. i don't know if i have devoted a circle as you do. >> jimmy: no one does. [ laughter ] but yeah.
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>> sounds like you -- fantastic, yes. oh, boy. we've had many adventures together. we went on the concorde together. >> jimmy: you did? >> yes. >> jimmy: wow, really. what year was that? >> i don't know, i don't know. >> jimmy: what was that like, the concorde? i've always wondered what that was like. >> fast, fast. we went from -- where did we go? london to new york or something? >> jimmy: how fast was it? how fast was that trip? >> you're talking to the wrong guy. i'm not a scientist or a -- [ laughter ] it was fast. i think we went -- what usually takes, you know, five hours was a couple of hours or something. >> jimmy: is it too fast almost? like you want to spend a little more time on the plane? >> i don't know. you know. it's fun. you can't be peevish about how much time you spend on a plane. we could be 100 years ago, blink of an eye, be in a calistoga wagon or something for months and months. so when i say -- and i do -- "oh, when is this going to end?" that's what's going on. i try to have perspective about
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it. so i would never complain it was too fast. i wouldn't mind, like "the fly," the character in "the fly," teleporting myself and go, okay, take me -- [ cheers and applause ] i want to be in the waldorf astoria hotel, and be there like that. >> jimmy: didn't things go badly in "the fly"? [ laughter ] >> yes, now i think of it, yes. >> jimmy: seems like if there's a movie you're going to wish for that maybe is not the one. >> you're right, you're right. >> jimmy: always great to see you. thank you so much for coming. always a delight. jeff goldblum, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "they shot the piano player" opens in theaters friday in new york and l.a. we'll be back with new york and l.a. we'll be back with tyler james williams.betes? discover the ozempic® tri-zone. ♪ ♪ i got the power of 3. i lowered my a1c, cv risk, and lost some weight. in studies, the majority of people reached an a1c under 7 and maintained it. i'm under 7. ozempic® lowers the risk of major cardiovascular
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"known for her grilling of corporate executives." with "deep policy knowledge." katie porter's housing plan has "bipartisan-friendly ideas to bring homebuilding costs down." and the chronicle praises "her ideas to end soft corruption in politics." let's shake up the senate. with democrat katie porter. i'm katie porter and i approve this message.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we have music from the beaches on the way. our next guest has been acting since grade school and is now teaching it as mr. eddie on the much-beloved "abbott elementary." watch it wednesday nights here on abc. please welcome tyler james williams. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you doing? very stylish. >> thank you, i try when i come to see you. >> jimmy: it's nice of you, i appreciate that. how's everything going? >> it's been going well. it's been really good. >> jimmy: congratulations. you got picked up for a fourth season of "abbott elementary." [ cheers and applause ] i think we all presumed what
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would happen, but it happened. >> you never know. >> jimmy: how many seasons of "everybody hates chris" did you do? >> four. >> jimmy: it must be like -- so you were a kid on that show, now seeing these kids grow up on this show, i would imagine you have something in common with them? >> yeah, yeah. it's really interesting to watch. because they soak everything in. you know what i mean? they're kids. they pay attention to literally everything. what's really nice is right now we have this thing that's been happening where the kids who started season one are still there. we try to keep the continuity of the kids there. they're now what we call our vets. they're teaching the other kids, the younger kids, what to do now. they're learning all the camera terms. they know "we're swinging a lens." it's all good, we're tightening it up, get your reaction shots now. they're trying to coach -- i guess the next generation of this. >> jimmy: who showed you the ropes when you were a kid and learning that stuff? >> i came up the old-school way. i learned by trial and error.
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i learned by -- i once did a movie called "two for the money." >> jimmy: how old were you? >> maybe 10. maybe 11. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> and i had yet to learn, do not look directly into the camera. [ laughter ] so i was looking directly into the camera. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> and eventually a very, very kind a.d. came over, "i'm going to need you to stop doing that." [ laughter ] apparently you can go watch the film now, you'll see me looking everywhere but the camera. trying to avoid it. but it's really strange now. because now that's all people ask me to do. >> jimmy: right. you look to the camera. >> how i make my living. >> jimmy: so you were on the right track and that a.d. -- >> i was just on the cutting edge, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: your new episode tonight was something that was very funny from like the '80s. i think the '90s. d.a.r.e., the drug program. >> yes. >> jimmy: you guys did a take on it? >> we call it f.a.d.e. >> jimmy: f.a.d.e., right. f.a.d.e. >> f.a.d.e.
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>> jimmy: which stood for what? >> that's a pointed question. that's a good pointed question. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: those were always kind of -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: goofy, written by adults who had no idea what was going on? >> no, i think they fundamentally did not understand people who do drugs. [ laughter ] like people -- people who do drugs just don't go around offering people their drugs. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right. >> that's why they procured them for themselves. so i was being pitched that somebody in a dark, shadowy corner was going to offer me crack, and that's never happened, and i grew up in hollywood. if it would happen, it would happen here. >> jimmy: it's not like costco where there's free samples. [ laughter ] >> it's not. >> jimmy: we did have that idea. kids are like, "oh, yeah, the first one's always free." [ laughter ] that is not really how it goes. >> no, it's not how drugs, drug dealing, drug doing goes. none of that is how that works. >> jimmy: your dad was a police officer. >> yeah. >> jimmy: was he very on top of
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you about drugs and warning you about that stuff? >> you know, he did his due diligence. "hey, you know --" i think the understanding at the time was essentially everything was a gateway to everything. and so that's what they kind of taught me. >> jimmy: everything -- so don't do anything at all? >> don't do anything, it will lead to everything. [ laughter ] but as i got older, you know, they just learned there were more gray areas. like when i was 23, i was diagnosed with crohn's disease. >> jimmy: okay. >> i'm good, i'm fine. [ laughter and applause ] everybody got quiet. i'm okay. but one of the first things my doctor prescribed for me was medical cannabis. so i was able to look at my parents and go, "see, it doesn't lead to everything." they didn't know what to say. >> jimmy: the doctor told you to smoke weed? >> yeah, it helps calming down the system. it helps with also my diet, making sure that i'm eating enough. >> jimmy: was this dr. dre? [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah.
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my wonderful doctor, dr. dre and his nurse practitioner, snoop dogg. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow. that's something else. so your parents, i guess they had to go along with what the doctor said? >> yeah, like i can't argue with him. yeah, so maybe we listen to the doctors and not as much d.a.r.e. >> jimmy: you had the eagles on. i was talking to quinta brunson. she was excited because of the philly connection. >> she was. >> jimmy: you were not? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you like who? >> i'm a jets fan. i'm a jets fan. it was fine this particular year because we handed them an "l." was it the first one in history? sure. but we handed it to them. >> jimmy: the jets did beat the -- >> i was at that game, i was there. i predicted that. i called it. i talked a lot of [ bleep ] to quinta about it. i wasn't sure i could back it up, but we took home the "w." that was my nice little moment. >> jimmy: yeah, moment of potentially getting fired, really. [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. if i'm going to get fired, let's hope it's something like that. that's how i want to go out. >> jimmy: is your family still
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into the show? i know they were excited about it. watching it and commenting on it? >> they love it. more specifically, my mother. that's how i know if an episode really was good. >> jimmy: i see. >> mom will tell me. >> jimmy: will she tell you it was good regardless, then you sense a little extra enthusiasm? or will she only call when it's particularly good? >> she'll tell me it's good regardless, but there are certain ones that you can tell really touched her specifically. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> i can tell because they're usually the ones that all of the aunties loved. [ laughter ] that's the -- >> jimmy: oh, she gets the feedback. >> she gets the feedback, she passes it along, she tells me how she feels about it, chimes in there. talking about it recently, as long as the aunties are happy and proud, we have a show. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there's your core audience. >> that's our core. >> jimmy: great to see you. thank you for coming. congratulations again. "abbott elementary" airs wednesday nights at 9:00 here on abc. tyler james williams, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with the beaches.
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i see my husband... the father of our girls. i see a public servant. a man who served under secretary clinton in the state department... where he took on the epidemic of violence against women in the congo. i see a fighter, a tenacious problem-solver... who will go to congress and protect abortion rights and our democracy. because he sees a better future for all of us. i'm peter dixon and i approved this message.
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democrats agree. conservative republican steve garvey is the wrong choice for the senate. ...our republican opponent here on this stage has voted for donald trump twice. mr. garvey, you voted for him twice... as your own man, what is your decision? garvey is wrong for california. but garvey's surging in the polls. fox news says garvey would be a boost to republican control of the senate. stop garvey. adam schiff for senate. i'm adam schiff, and i approve this message. >> jimmy: thanks to jeff goldblum and tyler james williams. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next, but first, their album is called "blame my ex." here with the song "blame brett," the beaches! [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ done being the sad girl i'm done dating rockstars ♪ ♪ from now on only actors tall boys in the rafters ♪ ♪ i'll become an a-hole disguised as a bad girl ♪ ♪ in my button-up shirt a natural disaster hey ♪ ♪ you could be m baby baby baby ♪ ♪ you could be my baby boy dear lady ♪ ♪ you could be my baby baby maybe oh oh ♪ ♪ i'm sorry in advance ♪ i'm only gonna treat you bad ♪ ♪ i'm probably gonna let you down ♪ ♪ i'm probably gonna sleep around ♪ ♪ so sorry in advance before you take off your pants ♪ ♪ i wouldn't let me near your friends ♪
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♪ i wouldn't let me near your dad ♪ ♪ but don't blame me blame brett ♪ ♪ blame my ex blame my ex blame my ex ♪ ♪ don't blame me blame brett ♪ ♪ blame my ex blame my ex blame my ex ♪ ♪ that's why i won't get vulnerable ♪ ♪ don't you dare get comfortable ♪ ♪ heartbreak is impossible feelings doing somersaults ♪ ♪ i'm not ready for therapy to take accountability ♪ ♪ right now it's about me me and only 'bout me hey ♪ ♪ you could be my baby baby baby ♪ ♪ you could be my baby boy dear lady ♪ ♪ you could be my baby baby maybe oh oh ♪ ♪ i'm sorry in advance i'm only gonna treat you bad ♪
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♪ i'm probably gonna let you down ♪ ♪ i'm probably gonna sleep around ♪ ♪ so sorry in advance before you take off your pants ♪ ♪ i wouldn't let me near your friends ♪ ♪ i wouldn't let me near your dad ♪ ♪ but don't blame me blame brett ♪ ♪ blame my ex blame my ex blame my ex ♪ ♪ don't blame me blame brett ♪ ♪ blame my ex blame my ex blame my ex ♪ ♪ i'm only in it for the sex ♪ ♪ that's why i'm never gonna love again ♪ ♪ i'm only in it for the sex blame my ex ♪ ♪ blame my ex blame my ex ♪ ♪ don't blame me blame brett ♪ ♪ blame my ex blame my ex blame my ex ♪ ♪ don't blame me blame brett ♪ ♪ blame my ex blame my ex blame my ex ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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