i'm right now on jimmy kimmel. jerrod carmichael, have a great night. lou: from hollywood - it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, jerrod carmichael, janelle james, and music from chicano batman. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i appreciate that.

thanks, everybody. oh, that's very nice. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us here on our home court in hollywood. are you ready for march madness? is it -- no, not at all, huh? [ laughter and applause ] my hope is that we get all the madness out in march, so we don't have any left for november. [ laughter ] there were two college basketball play-in games today. there are 16 games tomorrow, another 16 the day after that, then eight games, another eight games, then four games, four games, two games, two games, two games, one game, then we go back to working at work. [ laughter ] again, we get no work done when the games are on. i'm warning you now, tomorrow night's show will be terrible. [ laughter ] just get some sleep or something tomorrow. this is interesting. gonzaga tomorrow plays mcneese state, which, not only do i not believe gonzaga is a real place, i don't think there's any such place as

mcneese state, either. [ laughter ] i know for a fact there are 50 states, and mcneese is not one of them. [ laughter ] this is a game between two imaginary teams. the a.i. is taking over. [ laughter ] you know, they say the odds of filling out a perfect bracket are 1 in 120.1 billion. statistically speaking, you are 455 times more likely to get killed and eaten by a shark. [ laughter ] true. president biden released his bracket today. he picked uconn to win it. whereas donald trump -- not only won't he release his bracket, he won't fill one out at all because he's afraid of getting eaten by that shark. >> if i'm sitting down and that boat's going down and i'm on top of a battery, and the water starts flooding in, i'm getting concerned. then i look ten yards to my left, and there's a shark over there. so i have a shark of electrocution or shark. you know what i'm going to take? errectrocution. i'll take that every single, do

we agree? >> jimmy: yes, apparently there's a lot of agreement. i can go either way. the great white supremacist has until monday to come up with a $464 million bond or the state may seize and sell his property. trump said, "nobody has ever heard of anything like this before." trump needs cash. we've never heard of most of the crazy stuff you do before. nobody ever heard of the president changing the weather with a sharpie before either. [ laughter ] something tells me that over the weekend, trump's going to start talking about how strong vladimir putin is, then suddenly a dump truck full of rubles will pull up and cover this for him. [ laughter ] of course, the real loser here is melania. she may end up with half of the nothing he owns. [ laughter ] i hope she got an advance on that prenup. if you think she hates him now, wait until he's poor. [ laughter ] [ applause ] but his excuses, i will say, are richer than ever. trump yesterday asked the supreme court to grant him "absolute immunity" in the case related to the events of

january 6th. he also wants immunity from chlamydia, just in case. [ laughter ] his argument is that the threat of future imprisonment -- not for him -- it would prevent the president from doing potentially illegally things, which i think is the point of prison in the first place. [ laughter ] turns out the guy who bragged to billy bush he can do whatever he wants thinks he should be allowed to do whatever he wants. his lawyers told the court, "denial of criminal immunity would incapacitate every future president with de facto blackmail and extortion while in office and condemn him to years of post-office trauma at the hands of political opponents." which sounds bad, right? and yet somehow, we've had 44 presidents before him that never happened to any of them except for this one guy. [ laughter ] why do you think that is? could it be because none of them tried to violently overthrow an election they lost? [ laughter ] i don't know, maybe. [ cheers and applause ] the appeals court, by the way --

the appeals court took one look at this dumb argument and did the legal equivalent of when you drop a dictionary on a cockroach. [ laughter ] but the supreme court was like, "hold on. scrape those bug guts off the floor and let us take a look. we want to make sure it wasn't a bald eagle you crushed with that book." [ laughter ] there's no reason for them to even be hearing this case. and the fact that they are probably means there won't be a trial before the election. and also, you know, the scariest thing about the office of president is, you don't even need immunity to do bad things. other people can do bad things for you. anyone can do anything. and if you like what they did, you can just pardon them because you're president. if any person decided to do something terrible to someone you hate, as long as it's a federal crime, you can just wave your magic president wand and they're free to go. that's like wizard power. [ laughter ] that's a lot of power. for father's day, eric and don junior could walk into a bank, hand the teller a note that says "give us all your money" -- spelled wrong, of course. [ laughter ] money would be spelled m-o-n-i-e. they could then take that money

to buy their father a gold statue of himself. they could give him the statue, and when the cops come to lock them up, the wand comes out, they go right back to their five-bedroom homes in a gated community near daddy's golf course no penalty at all. although he would probably have them arrested, right? [ laughter ] a president could make some seriously crazy stuff happen. if you're dumb and arrogant, you commit the crimes yourself on television, then you have a problem. then you have to beg the supreme court for something preposterous, like immunity. if donald trump wants immunity, he should drink bleach like he told us to do when we wanted immunity. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and this had to be a punch in the truck nuts. trump scored five primary wins last night, but not as bigly as he was hoping he would. in arizona, he lost more than 20% of the republican vote. in florida, he lost more than 17% of the republican vote. to a pair of opponents who aren't even running anymore. nikki haley dropped out two

weeks ago, and i'm pretty sure ron desantis choked on a meatball at christmas. [ laughter ] but trump did do well amongst voters who accidentally shot their washing machines with a handgun. [ laughter ] he got almost 100%. this is good. in ohio, there's a trumper named derek myers who was running for a congressional seat. he mistakenly sent out a concession email hours before the polls closed. the email said, "tonight did not go as we had hoped." it wasnt even tonight yet. didn't go as they hoped. then they quickly sent a follow-up. that said, "disregard concession email." [ laughter ] then he finished in 11th place, last place. "on second thought, don't disregard concession email." this is, by the way, derek myers. >> this race is decided in the primary so i'm going to give congratulations to the congressman-elect. i look forward to working with him to get president trump re-elected to the white house in november and ejecting joe biden.

i'm in my 30s. if i don't win this race, that's okay because i've got 30 or 50 more years left. that's if i live a good life. i'm looking forward to staying in the arena of ohio politics and looking forward to working with all the republicans to make ohio great again. >> jimmy: and also, i would like to announce that i am suing the guy who cuts my hair for $5 million. [ laughter ] [ applause ] that's one hell of a supercut. he somehow looks like "beavis and butthead." all at once. [ laughter ] no maga faithful has fallen softer on harder times than the mypillow man, mike lindell, who may be out of money, but he is not running low on crazy life stories. >> through all that time i had over 14 near-death experiences. i'd be in mexico on a family vacation and they're going to cut my head off, the cartel. the guy's cutting my head off, i go, "i'm not going to buy this sword." the other guy goes, "he wants to

cut off your head." what's wrong with you? they're like, what's wrong? this guy's local. but it was just deflection. and -- and um -- you know -- i went -- what did i do when i got out of there? went and did another line of cocaine. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's a family vacation. that's how he got in the pillow business. he needed someplace to put his decapitated head. [ laughter ] mike has been promising to reveal bombshell evidence of voter fraud the last couple of weeks. this is something he's been saying now for quite some time. >> this evidence tonight is going to be so explosive and so -- it's going to shock the world. you're going to see something else that will shock the world. look at this, most explosive, shocking evidence the world has ever seen. you're going to go, whoa. it's going to shock the world. it's going to shock the world. it's going to shock the world. it's going to shock the world. it's going to shock the world. so shocking. shock the world. whoo!

i mean, it's going to shock the world. shock the world. shock the world. shock the world. shock the world. shock the world. shock the world. you know, it's going to shock the world. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, you know what? he finally did release this evidence. you're not going to believe it, the world has gone unshocked. [ laughter ] the world is completely unshocked. would you rather shock the world or be eaten by a shark? >> you know what i'm going to take? errectocution every time. >> jimmy: he'll taking shock the world, i guess. this doesn't seem good. according to the world happiness report, for the first time ever, the united states is not among the top 20 happiest countries. out of 143 countries, we came in 23rd place. only one spot ahead of germany. which you know -- [ laughter ] i don't know. of course we're not happy. we've got an election coming up where we're going to have to choose between a dinosaur and anner on rain tan. [ laughter ]

even slovenia, which came in 21st place, is a happier country than america. which is another slap in the face for melania. [ laughter ] iceland is the third happiest country. denmark is second. and do you know what the happiest country in the world is, guillermo? you want to guess? >> guillermo: mexico? [ cheers ] >> jimmy: no. >> guillermo: no? italy? >> jimmy: no, not italy. finland. >> guillermo: finland? >> jimmy: the finns are the happiest people -- makes sense. you ever google a picture of finland? [ laughter ] this is what pops up. people have reindeers for cars. so, to the people of finland, i say "oh-nee tellut" which means "go choke on licorice." [ laughter ] we have many visitors from many happy countries here in hollywood. spring has sprung and the boulevard and our neighborhood is once again packed with sweaty visitors from afar. and some of those visitors, mostly the young ones, stay just a couple of doors down from us at a youth hostel, the samesun

youth hostel right down the street here. beds go for around 30 bucks a night. the accommodations are not glamorous. but they are cheap. so, tonight, we are going to give a pair of young travelers the chance to compete to move into a luxurious suite at the hollywood roosevelt hotel. it's time to play "hostel la vista." [ cheers and applause ] thank you. our announcer lou is outside with our contestants. hi, lou. >> lou: hey, what's going on, jim jimmy? >> jimmy: were you told in advance you'd be wearing that? >> lou: you know no. [ laughter ] it's been awhile since i put it on. so it's tight in here. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's looking great. let's meet our players here. have you met the players? will you introduce our players? >> lou: of course. we have jorge and veronica. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: where are you from, jorge? >> i'm from mexico. >> jimmy: a little bird told me it's the happiest country in the world. [ laughter ] >> yeah, it is. look at me, i mean --

>> jimmy: veronica, where are you from? >> i live in switzerland. >> jimmy: switzerland, oh, very good. you're here -- you like our country so far? >> well, i just arrived yesterday. and i like it, yeah. >> jimmy: you do. this is your first time here? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how about you, jorge? >> no, it's my second time here, actually. >> jimmy: you may have a little bit of an advantage here, jorge in this game. >> i don't know. it was a long time ago. >> jimmy: okay, we're not going to fight about it. [ laughter ] i'm just saying you might. this is what you're playing for tonight, a luxury room at the historic hollywood roosevelt hotel. you'll enjoy a 700 square foot suite with a king-size bed, hardwood floors, pillows, the whole thing. all you have to do to win is know more than your opponent does about this place you are visiting. hello, people on sightseeing tour bus. [ laughter ] all right, i'm going to ask questions about our city and state. whichever of you answers more of them correctly gets the room. are you ready? >> yeah. >> yes, we are. >> jimmy: okay, question number one. what stadium, located in

pasadena, hosts a famous new year's day college football game of the same name? [ laughter ] veronica? >> california stadium? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. that's a really good guess, but it's not california stadium. jorge, you want to take a shot? >> no, i don't know. >> jimmy: okay, well, the answer is the road bowl. have you ever heard of the rose bowl? >> no, actually, no, sorry. >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, next time maybe it will ring a bell, all right? what does this machine, take a look at your screen, measure? this machine, what does it measure? >> earthquakes. >> jimmy: that is exactly right, jorge. [ cheers and applause ] that's a richter scale. it measures the tremors in the earth. jorge, you are ahead. do you have earthquakes in switzerland, veronica? [ laughter ] >> not that i know. >> jimmy: all right. well, seems like if one happens, you'll know, yeah. [ laughter ]

jorge, you've got the lead. next question. what is this man's job? this man on the screen right there. what is his job? ring in if you know. veronica? [ laughter ] veronica, are you okay? >> um -- politician? >> jimmy: well, that is correct, but we'll need more specificity. jorge? >> he's the governor. >> jimmy: he is the governor of california. [ applause ] >> all right! >> jimmy: was that just a guess? >> yeah. of course it was a guess. >> jimmy: all right, good guess, all right. you got the lead, jorge. there's a question, question number four. there's a famous park in los angeles named after its benefactor, griffith j. that pk? [ laughter ] buzz in if you know. jorge? >> mcarthur park? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: nope. not macarthur's park.

named after its benefactor, griffith j. griffith. veronica, do you know? >> griffith j. griffith? >> jimmy: yeah, that's the name of the park, griffith park. [ applause ] all right, veronica, you're back in the game. next question, what is the name of the professional sports team named after big sailing ships? it's a basketball team. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. l.a. -- l.a. -- >> jimmy: oh, it is on the tip -- jorge? >> the lakers? >> jimmy: no. it is not the lakers. that is not a ship. >> l.a. -- not -- cruisers? not cruisers. >> jimmy: the cruisers? >> oh my god. >> jimmy: no, it is not the cruisers. it is the clippers is what we're looking for. >> [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: all right. [ laughter ] we're not allowed to say that word on television here. >> sorry. >> jimmy: veronica.

>> >> jimmy: that's true, you make a really good point. all right. all right, let's go. this is the only u.s. president who was born in southern california. can you name him? jorge? >> nixon. >> jimmy: that's right, jorge! you nailed it, jorge. that's very good, jorge. holy moly. you know what, i think jorge's got an insurmountable lead. i think we have a winner here, lou what do you think? >> lou: i think so. >> jimmy: yes. i do want to say to jorge, congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] you are on your way to the hollywood roosevelt hotel. >> congratulations! >> jimmy: a beautiful suite there. but don't worry, veronica. you are not going back to that hostel empty-handed. >> thank you. >> jimmy: for you we've got a roll of toilet paper and a shanket. regards to everyone back home.

lou will help you with your bags. all right, you know where to go. [ laughter ] very good, have fun. thank you for playing "hostel vista." we've got a great show with batman and jerrod carmichael!

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: all right, jorge is doing well. tonight, a very funny lady. you know her from "abbott elementary." janelle james is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, from right here in los angeles, their new album "notebook fantasy" comes out march 29th. music from chicano batman. [ cheers and applause ] you can see chicano batman live on june 29th at the kia forum in inglewood. tomorrow night, regina king and william shatner will join us, with music from dasha. so please join us for that. our first guest tonight is an emmy-winning comedian, actor, writer, director and now, at long last, reality tv star. his unusual new docuseries is called "jerrod carmichael reality show." it premieres march 29th on hbo

and max. please welcome jerrod carmichael. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? it's very good to see you. >> really good to see you. you weren't here the last time i was here. >> jimmy: that's right. who was here? >> desus was here. >> jimmy: desus was filling in for me last time. >> i had no shirt on. i wore a shirt for you. >> jimmy: i saw -- you had a clip of that in your show. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i was like, "wow, that set looks like my show." oh, yeah, right. >> yeah, you weren't there. >> jimmy: i want to ask you about the show. >> please. i emailed -- just so everyone -- i have a reality show. i emailed jimmy last night. i was like," you actually got to watch this, it's wild." i needed you to watch it so we could talk about it. >> jimmy: i was in the middle of

watching it already, actually. >> okay, good, good. >> jimmy: then i watched almost all of them. it fine halle got to be midnight and i had to go to sleep. >> yeah, sure. >> jimmy: it is -- correct any of this, because i'm really asking more than i'm stating. it's like half a very traditional -- it's like a lot of things you do that seem normal, and then you realize they're not normal. they seem like a traditional -- like the way you do like a stand-up special. it looks like a stand-up special. >> yeah. >> jimmy: your sitcom, hosting the golden globes, it all seems like normal, and it is not normal. >> yeah. >> jimmy: this one is -- like there are certain things that seem very kardashian-y in that they're set up, like, oh, we're going to do this today. >> yeah. >> jimmy: then the other half of it is this -- not even half. it's not even a half and half thing. it's like you don't know what's happening. this intensely personal documentary in which you talk to your family, your loved ones, your friends, et cetera. that is a way good of describing

it? >> i was inspired by the kardashians and all the housewives. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you were? >> but i wanted to make a show that was the show that happened after those cameras cut. like, in between the scenes of what a normal reality show would be. just me sat in a fetal position, you know? [ laughter ] actually dealing with problems. >> jimmy: yeah, the pace is very different. >> yeah. >> jimmy: from those shows for sure. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, it's -- but it's really interesting. and it's funny because you asked me to watch it, but i couldn't stop watching. >> david: you laugh? >> jimmy: i laughed a lot of times. >> okay. >> jimmy: i also -- it's very heavy sometimes. it's really -- >> so i -- the show is -- and i really need you all to watch. i'm happy to be here to pitch it. i'm not a good salesman, but i really want people to watch it. it's for people who embrace uncomfortable conversations. like, if you ever had to have a really difficult conversation

with, like, someone that you're in a relationship with or your family, and you have to deal with the confrontation of that, that's what the show is. it's me -- like every episode is some conversation that i really didn't want to have with someone who also doesn't want to have those conversations. [ laughter ] and we do it anyway. and so that's the show. that's the show. so, you know -- i meet people -- it's like emotional "technique fa factor," all right? i meet people who are that person in your family. >> jimmy: i'm one of those people. there's something you said that i really identified with where you said, i don't have the courage to have these conversations. like conversations you had with your dad, a conversation you had with your mom, off-camera, so i need those cameras there. most people have the opposite. >> no, the camera's purpose, it's odd. because -- i think you might be like this too -- where, like, off-camera is a performance. like, thanksgiving is a

performance. like, dinner with the family, that's a performance. when the camera's there, we can finally talk about the real stuff that i've been wanting to say, the things i wanted to ask. i'm afraid of my dad. he's old now, he can't beat me up, and i live 1,000 miles away so i shouldn't be scared. but it's scary. it seems so consequential. having conversations about his past, dads don't like talking about his past. >> jimmy: especially your dad. you've talked about your dad's past. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i it's fair, i think, because you're wounded by a lot of the things he did, obviously. he just doesn't want to get into that stuff at all. >> no, no, no. and i had a sitcom where i got to, like, write my family. i got to write my parents. i got to write what they would say. i wrote the happy ending. when you actually have your dad in a room and you're having a heavy conversation, i felt like they -- it's not the same dialogue. like, my dad just closed his eyes and said, "can i go home?"

>> jimmy: yeah, he did. you asked him if he wanted to go on a road trip, he said what? >> "nope." then he sent me a text later saying, "what do you want from me, son?" >> jimmy: that could easily be the title of this series. [ laughter ] not just your dad but with your mom too. because i'm not sure they are capable of giving you what you want from them. >> i dig, and i dig, and i dig. and i'm, like, you know -- i've years of therapy, like ready to get into what's underneath. and my parents are not those people at all. like, they don't want to talk about -- they'd be very happy just talking about the weather and the neighbors. and i'm like, "no, no, tell me about what happened in 1993." [ laughter ] they don't want to talk about it at all. >> jimmy: why don't we take a break, because i want to show a clip of your dad. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i think it will illustrate what exactly we're talking about. jerrod carmichael is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back. >> lou: portions of "jimmy

kimmel live" are brought to you by allstate. save money and protect yourself from mayhem with allstate.

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bears are like big guys, a lot of times hairy. then you've got your otters, who are, you know, like a -- it's not a twink. a twink is like a dolphin. an otter is like a hairy, chubby -- somewhere between a twink and a bear. you've got your otters.

[ laughter ] then you got your twunks. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: jerrod carmichael and his dad on a road trip. >> so uncomfortable. he wants none of it. >> jimmy: he doesn't really -- he made it clear he wanted none of that. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i think after listening to that, i might be an opper. [ laughter ] >> yeah, no you could an daddy. >> jimmy: a daddy? >> i was telling my dad, "you're a father, you're automatically a daddy." >> jimmy: he didn't find that educational? >> no, no, he didn't want to hear it. he didn't want to be there. >> jimmy: as far as what's real and what isn't real in the show, when your mom apologized to you for her reaction when you came out during your special, which you won the emmy for -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: which is a great special. i assume that was -- that wasn't

something you guys set up for the show? >> yeah, no, it was real. i woke up one morning to a text from her that was very kind and understanding. and i thought -- because that's really the big question. can your parents change? right? are they capable of changing? and it felt like my mom had changed, or at least shifted in her position a little bit. so i was so excited by that, that morning. and then, you know -- >> jimmy: yeah. right. but can i defend your parents for a second? >> please, please. >> jimmy: because obviously -- >> they'll love that because they're watching. >> jimmy: i know, i just want to say -- i don't think they're ever going to get to the point where they necessarily believe that you didn't choose to be gay. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i think ey, for whatever reason, whatever has been beaten into their heads over their years -- but they did -- like you asked them to meet your boyfriend. they did it. your dad asked you to -- you asked him to go on the road trip. they're doing the things. >> they're doing it. and it's out of love.

i love my parents. i love my family very, very much. and they -- they do it because, you know -- they love me, too. i think we want to understand each other. and i pay for the health insurance. [ laughter ] [ applause ] so it's like, "all right." you've got to be in the show, it comes with it, that's the premium. you have to actually be on my reality show. >> jimmy: it's all sew complicated, isn't it? >> it's very complicated, but i hope it makes an interesting show and i hope you all watch it. >> jimmy: it is a very, very interesting show and funny also. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i want to ask you -- put that picture up on the screen. this is a real thing. you were at the -- in buffalo. >> yeah. >> jimmy: at a playoffs game, the chiefs and bills were playing. you're in the luxury box with taylor swift, yes? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that was not set up? that's not part of the show? >> no, no. i should have asked it to be on the show. no, that's my best friend, taylor swift's my best friend. [ laughter ]

i'm not -- i'm not her best friend, but she's my best friend. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she's your best friend? >> yeah. can you think of a better friend to have than taylor swift? >> jimmy: no. >> i called my former best friend," you're out, taylor's in." [ laughter ] "you never invited me on your jet to a game." >> jimmy: she called you, do you want to come to the game with me? >> yeah, and she knows football more than i do. i'm the girlfriend in that situation. but no, and -- please, i know. because this will be on youtube. i can already see it. the headline under need me is going to be "jerrod car michael says taylor swift is his best friend." it will say "taylor swift, jerrod carmichael's best friend." don't do that to me. got to be something else. i do love her, though. >> jimmy: be creative what is you're asking these people. >> just be creative, something else, yeah. >> jimmy: oh, that's something

else. it's crazy. what a crazy life you have, huh? >> it's fun. yeah, it's fun. it's still -- i'm still sad all the time. [ laughter ] so whatever. >> jimmy: are you still sad all the time? >> yeah, i hit pockets. i hit pockets where i'm, like a little -- i have to deal with something. the show is a lot of that, things that make me sad and trying to confront that. >> jimmy: yeah. >> unfortunately, money doesn't buy happiness. doesn't that suck? [ laughter ] that sucks. >> jimmy: what a terrible revelation that. >> yeah, it sucks. >> jimmy: you hear it your whole life, you go, yeah, right, they're just saying that to make me feel better. >> exactly, no. it actually -- >> jimmy: it does buy your parents health insurance. [ cheers and applause ] >> it gets the health insurance and makes it be on the show. >> jimmy: jerrod michael, everybody. >> jimmy: "jerrod carmichael reality show" premieres march 29th on hbo and max. we'll be back with janelle james. ♪ treating schizophrenia without a daily pill may seem impossible...

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>> jimmy: janelle james and chicano batman are coming up. but first, with all the work guillermo does around here as the head of my security team, it's amazing he still finds the time to take on new jobs. >> guillermo: hi, i am a cat who learned how to use a toilet. meow! >> it took six months to train mr. mittens to use the toilet, but it was worth it. >> guillermo: meow, i agree. >> i don't have to scoop litter anymore. now can just kick back and watch the basketball game. >> guillermo: what he doesn't know is i'm not just a kitty cat. i am actually mayhem in training. >> there are literally no downsides to this. good thing i have allstate home insurance. yeah. three-pointer. >> guillermo: can i have some privacy, please?

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. music from chicano batman is on the way. our next guest joins great tv principals like skinner, belding and victoria on "abbott elementary." you can see new episodes wednesdays at 9:00 here on abc. please welcome janelle james. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: you look fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: this is a very good color on you. >> thank you so much, jimmy. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> i'm pretty good. >> jimmy: i think the last time you were here was toward when the show started, when "abbott elementary" came on the air, ir finished yet. >> jimmy: wasn't even finished yet. has your life changed a lot since then? >> i mean -- >> it has? >> very much so. i moved to l.a. i got a car. i have two emmy nominations. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's good. >> and i best back that up on national tv. things are happening, things are happening. >> jimmy: do you get recognized a lot now, i assume. >> yes. >> jimmy: are you comfortable with that? target used to be my safe space, but it's not anymore. [ laughter ] yeah, it's not that i don't get -- it's not that i'm not happy about it, but i'm not walking around looking like this, you know? >> jimmy: right, exactly.

you have to present a certain look. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yes. so do you not go out? do you hide that? >> i go out in disguise, it never works. apparently i have a distinctive voice and laugh. i've tried the glasses and hat. >> jimmy: what's the disguise? let's go through it. >> now -- don't tell everybody, but okay. [ laughter ] it don't work anyway. l low-slung hat. movie star glasses. i'm the person in the mask. doesn't matter. >> jimmy: you do? going full michael jackson? [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: you've got the mask, the hat, the glasses, and people still recognize you? >> doesn't work. as soon as i speak or laugh, it's a wrap. >> jimmy: you have to walk around silently all the time? >> i do a deep bass voice in the ubers, but i forget i'm supposed to be doing it and i change it up. >> jimmy: you get in an uber, you like to talk to the driver? >> i do. >> jimmy: you talk to the driver -- pretend i'm a driver, we'll get the voice from you. [ laughter ] i don't know what -- you know what, i think i'll do an italian accent. because otherwise i'll get in

trouble. [ laughter ] >> hey, where are you going tonight? [ laughter ] >> oh, just going to dinner. >> jimmy: oh, you going to dinner, what kind of dinner you going for? >> i love it t italian food. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, that's got to be scary a little bit. >> and then i laugh at my own joke, and it's a wrap. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you hide from other actors too? are you just generally shy or is this only -- >> i'm not shy, it's just once you've become known for a character, that's what people expect. this character is so high energy in a way i'm not. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, she's crazy. she's a crazy person. >> a fun way. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: in a fun way. in a way that she should not be running a school. >> exactly. >> jimmy: by any stretch of the imagination. >> or anything. shouldn't be running anything. but yes, yes, she's fun. >> jimmy: is it fun to go to the emmys and stuff and meet the other celebrities? >> yes, it's fun.

i'm always surprised by who knows me. i don't approach people. not because i'm shy. i just don't. spielberg. spielberg knew hoy was. >> jimmy: which? steven? [ laughter ] >> steven, yeah. >> jimmy: that's crazy. that's got to blow your mind a little bit, right? >> no, not a little bit. a lot. it blows my mind a lot that he knows me, he knows my work, he loves the show. >> jimmy: what did he say to you? >> he said, "hey, you're so funny." i said, "me?" [ laughter ] we had a ten-minute conversation about the show and how much he loves teachers and he's watched my stand-up and that he's a fan. >> jimmy: he's done a deep -- >> that's my godfather now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's done a deep dive. >> yeah. >> jimmy: is the hope, oh, i hope that steven puts me in one of these movies? >> i like dinosaurs. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: good, good. good for him to know. and it's fun to play someone ridiculous, obviously. >> it's the best role. it's the best role. i wouldn't switch with any other

character on the show. >> jimmy: yeah, i heard that you -- when they have the tours, which they do of the studio lots, you will greet the people in character? >> yeah, that's a factor of people, you know, wanting the pizzazz. and i want to give it to them. if they're on the studio tour and i'm in my ava regalia, i'll do a little "hey," you know? that's not me. >> jimmy: they must go crazy, they must love that. >> you're welcome. >> jimmy: you're staying in character like daniel day louis, you're a method actor. >> exactly. >> jimmy: how did you get into acting? >> very round about. stand-up comedian. i did a set on another late-night show that i won't say in front of jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, i didn't know there even were other late-night shows. [ laughter ] >> exactly. i think it's unfair. don cheadle saw me do a set. and i was auditioning -- i was interviewing for a writing job at the time. don cheadle saw that set, "if you still looking for a writer,

hire this woman." i got that job. >> jimmy: what show? >> "black monday." don cheadle, regina hall, andrew reynolds. >> jimmy: wow. >> when i was in the writing job, i wrote myself a part on the show. >> jimmy: are you allowed to do that? >> i did. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you write like, "played by me" on it? >> wrote it in, i kind of pitched it out, like, "that would be funny if it was me." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: were you nervous when they said, yeah, okay? >> i truly didn't believe, until i was on set, they were going to let me do that. and i was in costume and the show runner came up, my boss, "you're about to kill it." i said, "i don't know." "why do you say that?" "i don't know what i'm doing." years later he said, "i augusted away thinking i was going to get fired." he assumed i knew doing. >> jimmy: weabowere the other ws annoyed when you wrote yourself a part and wound up on the show?

>> yes, because after that a lot of the them tried to do it. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: we had that with our security team here for quite a few years. >> guillermo: yes, yes. >> jimmy: after guillermo got on the show. >> closer to the stage, i see you. >> jimmy: all of a sudden there was a lot of performing going on in the parking lot, yeah. it's great to see you. congratulations. "abbott elementary." you can watch it every wednesday night at 9:00 here on raiabc, t after that on hulu, you can catch up with the whole thing. janelle, james. we'll be back with chicano batman!

>> jimmy: thanks to jerrod carmichael and janelle james. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but first, their album "notebook fantasy" is out march 29th. here with the song "fly," chicano batman. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ do you feel that drippin' wet love to play with your body ♪ ♪ slip and slide water fallin' ridin' high within

your hair ♪ ♪ i'm gonna get it everywhere die a little bit in my arms ♪ ♪ don't care what the limits are ♪ ♪ i wanna fly with you wanna fly i wanna fly with you wanna fly ♪ ♪ i like it like that ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i like it like that open up fill you up so good now ♪ ♪ on the ground turn you around do it again

do it to me ♪ ♪ give it to you 'til you're ready to bring it on down down, down, down down ♪ ♪ i wanna fly with you wanna fly i a wanna fly ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ wanna fly wanna fly ♪ ♪ i wanna fly with you wanna fly ♪ ♪ i wanna fly with you wanna fly i wanna fly with you wanna fly ♪ ♪ i wanna fly with you wanna fly i wanna fly with you wanna fly ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

♪ this is "nightline." tonight, stolen childhood. a middle schooler raped at 12 and forced to have the baby. >> she's literally a little girl. and she was like a deer in the headlights. >> so what did you think when you realized your baby is going to have to deliver this baby? >> scared,