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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  April 5, 2024 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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man through the abc seven bay area connected tv app. it's available for apple tv, google tv, amazon fire tv and roku. download the app now and you can start streaming. >> thank you so much for watching tonight. >> i'm ama daetz and i'm dan ashley for sandyha patel, larry, bill, all of us. we appreciate your time right now on jimmy kimmel billy crystal and j.b. smooth have a great night and a wonderful weekend. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- billy crystal, j.b. smoove, and music from sir. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for being here in hollywood. please, relax. we are back to work after a week -- i took my family to japan this week, and i have to say, i'm still not sure how i feel about what happened over request there. here in america, we know we have our faults. we know we have areas for improvement. but, overall, i think most of us believe that, compared to the rest of the world, we're pretty buttoned-up. i know i did. i go to europe where there are dirt holes where plumbing is supposed to be and i hold my breath and i go, "i'm glad i'm not one of these people." then i go back home, right? but now after traveling to japan, i realize that this place -- this usa we're always chanting about? is a filthy and disgusting place. [ laughter ] we were in japan for seven days.
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not only did i not encounter a single dirty bathroom, the bathrooms in tokyo and kyoto are cleaner than our operating rooms here. [ laughter ] everywhere you go, the bathrooms are clean. they don't smell bad, and they have those toilets that wash you from the inside out. [ laughter ] and not just in a hotel. restaurants, bars, truck stops. we went to two truck stops -- i swear to god -- the bathrooms were cleaner than jennifer garner's teeth. [ laughter ] the cleanest. beautiful. and it's not just the bathroom. there's no litter. people carry their own trash. there are no garbage cans. 30 years ago, some terrorists put a poisonous gas in some trash cans. they said, "okay, no more trash cans." [ laughter ] "everybody clean up after yourselves." and guess what? they clean up after themselves. [ cheers and applause ] they bring their garbage to their houses. it's like the whole country is disneyland. and we're living at six flags. [ laughter ] i've been home 36 hours. i've never felt dirtier.
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we are like hogs compared to the japanese. i can't imagine what they must think of us. "oh, the garbage people!" yes, the americans, garbage, yes. [ laughter ] we got home saturday night, and there's a huge time difference. in japan right now, it's next week. [ laughter ] is our family, we're all discombobulated. we get home, we put the kids to bed at around 9:00, and then we make the easter baskets. we fill the eggs with jellybeans, we do the whole thing. and around midnight, we're in bed, my 6-year-old billy walks in. he gets in bed. i realize he's holding one of stuffed animals from his easter basket. "where'd you get that?" he said, "from my easter basket." he made a stop on the way to our room to see if the bunny showed up. and i said, "okay, we can't open anything else until morning." but he's awake, and my wife is sleeping. and he kicks. so, i bring him back to his room. he can't sleep unless we lay with him, so i squeeze into the twin-size bed with him. and it's wet. he'd wet the bed. which explains why he has no pants on. [ laughter ] i didn't notice.
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so i get a towel, i put it down. i get him some new pajamas, and we lay there for two full hours. he does not close his eyes for one second. about an hour and a half in, i say, "what are you thinking about?" i know what the answer is going to be. he said "my easter basket." [ laughter ] he was basket crazed. and then our daughter jane, who is in the top bunk. it's a bunkbed, by the way. she wakes up, and we all lay there for another hour. but they will not go back to sleep. they're too excited about the easter baskets. and as i mentioned, for them, it's tuesday at noon. [ laughter ] and i'm wide awake, too. and i don't want to wait another three hours until the sun comes up. so, i go into our bedroom to see if my wife was awake. she isn't. so, i made some noise, and then she was. [ laughter ] she's like, "what's going on?" and i said, "i think we need to open the easter baskets." "now?" "yes, now." so, now we all get out of bed and, as the clock struck 3:17 am, we opened easter baskets.
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and i made pancakes in the black of night. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and then we went back to sleep. how was your easter, guillermo? >> guillermo: mine was great, jimmy. >> jimmy: anything like that happen to you? >> guillermo: no, i went to mexico, to puerto vallarta. >> jimmy: did the easter bunny make there it? >> guillermo: didn't make it. it was beautiful. everybody is friendly over there. >> jimmy: well, sure. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: nothing like here. >> jimmy: no, no. [ laughter ] in washington today, the president and first lady hosted the annual white house easter egg roll. it's the one day of the year when joe biden says, "you kids get on my lawn!" [ laughter ] the president welcomed the little rollers with a speech from the balcony of the biden bedroom. >> god bless you all. enjoy the day. and i'm coming down to do that easter egg roll in just a minute. thank you all so very, very much. thanks, everybody. and by the way, say hello to oyster bunnies. come on up, bunnies. get up here so everybody can see. >> you know, the oyster bunnies. [ laughter ]
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it's a shelter team this year. the oyster bunnies and in december santa clams will show up. [ laughter ] then the president handed out baskets filled with his two favorite easter treats, rhubarb and polident. [ laughter ] and a good time was had by all. i have to say, i miss the easter egg rolls from the trump administration. melania reading books to the kids, donald pretending he's ever been to church. secret service trying to get eric to stop eating the plastic eggs. [ laughter ] those are the -- trump had a very active holiday. he posted 77 times on truth social yesterday. like if that was your dad, you'd have him put away, right? [ laughter ] one of the posts was this message of peace. he wrote, "happy easter to all, including crooked and corrupt prosecutors and judges that are doing everything possible to interfere with the presidential election of 2024, and put me in prison, including those many people that i completely and totally despise." blah blah blah. "happy easter everyone!" [ laughter ] [ applause ]
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and on holy saturday, america's number one bible salesman somehow found time to post this. "the crucifixion of donald trump." that's right. you know, jesus was treated unfairly, too. some say the second most unfairly in history. [ laughter ] only donald trump would repost a photo of himself holding a bible upside down. [ laughter ] but the real easter miracle came from trump's daughter-in-law/campaign fund money funnel rnc co-chair lara trump, who drops some new music on the same day as beyonce. ♪ have faith, believe, just trust you'll see ♪ ♪ anything is possible ♪ >> jimmy: auto tune doesn't work on everybody. [ laughter ] lara is -- [ applause ] this is interesting. she is threatening to release one new song every week until she achieves her goal of marrying her father-in-law. [ laughter ] that was not an april fool's
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joke, by the way. that was a real thing. today is april 1st. a fact that many find hard to believe. >> it is monday, april 1st. i can't believe. how it is april already? >> i know. >> it's april. >> i can't believe it, sam. >> i know, already. >> i can't believe it's april already. >> april already, yes. >> i can't believe it. >> can't believe we're already here in april. >> it's april. >> april 1, if you can believe it. >> april 1st, if you can believe. >> april 1st, can you believe it? >> april, everybody. can you believe it? >> hard to believe, but today is april 1st. >> april, it's hard to even believe. >> it's hard to believe. >> hard to believe it is april 1st. >> the month of april. kind of hard to believe. >> hard to believe april 1st. >> april 1st. can you believe it? the fact that's it april fool's day, but the fact we're already into april. >> it's true. >> wow. >> jimmy: it is true. these are the same people who clap when the plane lands. [ laughter ] we pulled a good one on my cousin micki this morning. my cousin micki works in the booking department at the show. she takes care of the guests when they arrive. so, we came up with a little
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ruse. we told her that billy crystal had to come in early to shoot a comedy bit before the show. which was actually true. what she didn't know, she was going to be in the comedy bit too. billy told her he got a shot at the doctor that caused him to randomly fall asleep, and he needed micki, who might be the nicest person in the world, to help keep him conscious. ♪ >> mr. crystal? >> hello. >> hi. how are you? micki. thank you for being here. is there anything i can get for you? >> i'm not feeling well. >> shoot. okay. >> i'm having a reaction to a shot that i got this morning. >> okay. >> i don't want you to be alarmed, because i may pass out on occasion. it's -- it's something called napalepsy. it's a reaction to this gelatin shot i just got. i have an allergy. >> your health is most important to us. >> i'm very hungry. >> okay. what can we get you?
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>> so maybe like is there a pumpernickel bagel around? >> we'll get whatever you want. >> if it's cut in half, one side toasted, the other side not. >> pumpernickel bagel, half toasted, half not. and i'm sorry? >> sorry. >> you know what? it's okay. we all get tired. >> it's -- it's something different. >> right. so i'm here for you. >> i'm sorry. >> don't apologize. >> okay. >> don't apologize. i'm here for you. >> all right. >> i'll be right back. >> okay. ♪ [ laughter ]
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>> welcome back. you know what? i'm so thirsty. >> okay. what do you want? probably coke? >> maybe coke or a lemonade something. if there is any vodka, one little shot. that helps me out. >> wait, in one of those? >> whatever. whatever they have. that would be good. >> okay, okay. perfect. >> i appreciate you. >> my pleasure. >> i'm sorry. >> oh, please do not apologize. don't even. >> okay. ♪ >> oh! >> no worries. bagel is coming. coke on ice. i think that's a good idea. >> all right. coke sort of waters it down. >> yeah, yeah. listen --
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>> whoa. >> lemonade and wash it down with coke. >> maybe. >> but i think it's important to have food in your stomach too. yeah, that's good. ♪ >> hello? >> hi, billy? >> hi, sir. >> how you doing, billy? >> you know, sir, i'm -- jimmy and i are excited about doing this fundraiser for you. >> i appreciate that. it's really important to make sure that we get the funds that we need to bring the country together. >> yes. >> billy? are you there? billy? hello, billy? >> i'll be right there. [ laughter ]
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>> yes. i'm here. yeah. >> billy, what's going on? >> [ bleep ]. a bad phone connection. >> hello, mr. president? hi. >> are you his daughter? >> i'm not his daughter. i'm a friend. and he's just not feeling that well right now. and i apologize. i know he would never leave you hanging. but can he call you back? [ retching sounds offscreen ] >> yeah. just finished the white house easter egg roll. >> i love that. i went years ago. and it was great. >> guess what. >> what? >> guess what? >> i'm egg-hausted. [ laughter ] >> that was my grandpa's favorite joke. easter bunny this morning. >> you did? >> guess where we ate? >> ihop. [ laughter ]
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>> that's a good one. >> i'm not feeling great, sir, to be honest. >> so how's things? how is everything? >> everything is okay. >> you sound -- you sound beat up? >> he is not drinking. he's not drinking. he's not drinking. so we're going to go, okay. but if you need anything, i can take notes. >> yeah, please. it's important. write all this down, because i don't have the time and i don't like to repeat myself. >> okay, all right. can it wait a little bit? he is just going to eat now. >> no, you can't hang up on me. i don't know how to call you back. >> well, all right -- >> thank you so much for all that you do. and we got to go now. >> please don't hang up -- i've got to ask billy a couple of questions. >> i'm sorry. >> hi! >> hi, how are you? >> here is a question. jimmy is on the phone. >> jimmy: who is that?
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>> so you can ask him some questions. >> who's there? >> jimmy: that's not the president. is that really the president? >> he's not feeling well. >> jimmy: you look great. >> but we're taking care of him. >> jimmy: what's wrong? >> you want some vodka with him? >> jimmy: sure. billy, i don't know -- you know what day today is? >> it's april 1st. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the beginning of the month is always good. it's like a fresh start. >> jimmy: what else is it today, though? april 1st? >> shut up. [ bleep ]. no, no. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> oh my god! oh my god. this guy. that was not the president? >> no. >> jimmy: that actually was the president. >> yeah. >> you do have a bit with him? and i just blew off the president? >> jimmy: yeah. no.
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>> oh, there he is again. he is calling once again. >> jimmy: he wanted to say something to you. hold on. >> hello, mr. president. who this is? >> why did you hang up on me? this is a national emergency. >> jimmy: oh, it is the president. >> code red. big trouble. >> hi. >> jimmy: it is him. >> micki, happy april fool's. >> oh, well thank you. >> jimmy: it's not. it actually is the president. >> i'm sweating. if it is you, mr. president, thank you for all you do. and if it isn't, you sound just like him. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, thank you, cousin micki, everybody. it had to be done. [ cheers and applause ] we have great show tonight. j.b. smoove is here. we've got music from sir. and we'll be right back with we've got music from sir. and w[ cellphone ringing ]th phone call from the boss? sorry.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight, a gentleman who has been living in sin with larry david on "curb your enthusiasm" since the year 2007. j.b. smoove is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, from inglewood, his album is called "heavy." music from sir. [ cheers and applause ] this week, we've got new shows with kirsten dunst, kim fields, andrew scott, cailee spaeny and james corden. with music from kim gordon, conan gray and the defiant. so please join us for all that. our first guest is a six-time
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emmy winner and recent kennedy center honoree, whose voice is beloved by children and their parents around the world. he is back as mike wasowski for season two of "monsters at work." it premieres friday on the disney channel and may 5th on disney plus. please welcome billy crystal! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> thank you. >> jimmy: it is always a pleasure to have you here. and thank you for helping cure my cousin micki of her fear of pumpernickel. that was very nice of you. [ laughter ] >> that was so much fun. >> jimmy: when we talked about it you're like, "she's not going to believe this." >> we started doing right before you left to japan. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i said, i know it's april 1st and i'm on the show, is there a prank we can do?
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and i wasn't familiar with what you've tortured her with in the past. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> so we talked about this narcolepsy idea. "i can do that." so on, so forth. "but she's not going to believe this." >> jimmy: yes, she will. [ laughter ] >> she is delightful. and it was a lot of fun. >> jimmy: she is delightful. a lot of fun for us. are you a prankster in general? >> once in a while. you know, the worst one -- well, actually, it was the best one. you say the worst. it was the most difficult one. years ago, years ago, we were shooting "throw mama from the train." [ cheers and applause ] and danny devito is the co-star and director. he was amazing. we were shooting about 45 minutes north of l.a. in indian wells. and there is four miles of train tracks, and they have a train so we could actually shoot some stuff on the train. so the director of photography is a very odd man named barry sonnenfeld. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, sure. >> he became a great director. and barry is very quirky, and he
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is strange. and he had a trans-am, and i had my first mid-life crisis car. >> jimmy: what was it? >> it was a little black porsche convertible. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> cliche. and he kept saying -- it was a five-speed. and i had just come from a vw bug which was automatic. he says, "you don't know how to drive that car." "yes, i do." "no, i saw you pulling in, you don't know how to drive that car. why don't we race from indian wells to the border of santa monica tonight after work. and whoever wins takes the other guy out for dinner." i said great. so they're off shooting stuff. so i go to a special effects guy. i said, "tommy, can you rig something in his ignition?" i got devito to say, "gentlemen, start your engines." "so when you do that, something
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will hip to it and it won't work and i can take off?" he said "you got it, boss." you're always "boss" on the set. you got it, boss. they pull our cars up. they finish shooting. he comes over. and he's wearing a coon skin cap. >> jimmy: driving a trans-am. >> he said, "you're going down." i said, "we'll see." we get in the car. danny's got a megaphone, "gentlemen! start your engines!" and his car explodes. boom! this big smoke bomb they built into the car. it didn't hurt the car, but it just exploded and i took off. [ laughter ] that was the best one. so he bought me dinner. that was the best one. >> jimmy: did he not know what you had done? >> not until it exploded. so that was a good one. >> jimmy: yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: an explosion is always solid in a prank. you've been to japan, i would presume. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: in your many travels around the world. what did you think? were you as taken by it as i was? >> i didn't like to talk about the bathrooms all the time.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: but they're the greatest. >> they are the greatest. they are the greatest. but i was there a long time ago. are you very jet-lagged? it's a rough trip back. >> jimmy: i'm a little bit. >> any international travel, if you do it, folks, your bowels are confused. now? is it now? now? not ready? maybe a little bit later. [ laughter ] but it's an amazing place. the ginza -- >> jimmy: where did you go? >> in tokyo, it was unbelievable. but then we took the bullet train, which goes -- >> jimmy: we went on that too. >> 180 miles an hour? and you don't feel a thing. up to coate. up to kyoto. >> jimmy: right. we did that too. >> which is a very beautiful, calm, mystical kind of place. and we checked into this hotel which is hundreds of years old. and you sleep on tatami mats on the floor. and the manager comes over as we're checking in. it's this beautiful geisha girls every place. it's really -- it's real ancient japan, beautiful. >> jimmy: uh-huh.
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>> and he comes over to me and says, mr. crystal, welcome. i'm going give you a gift. i said, no, no. no, you don't have to. in your room, you will see when you check in there is going to be a little area in the middle of the room that is lined with kimono, beautiful fabrics. and it is a massage mat on the floor. so i want to give you a massage that you will never forget. [ laughter ] i'm going to send someone to your room. >> jimmy: oh, i thought he was going to give you one. [ laughter ] >> no. you, i would forget. and it will be a massage. and he stared at me like this is going to be dangerous. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> so i get to the room, and i have his instructions. get into the tub. there is an old wooden tub at 4:00. so 4:15, you soak in the bath salts. get out of the tub at 4:15, get into the special robe. and at 4:20, there will be a knock at the door, and the
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masseuse will be there for the massage that you will never forget. wink, wink. [ laughter ] so -- oh, no, it's one room. so janice and i -- >> jimmy: so janice is there with you? [ laughter ] >> yeah. how do you politely say get out of the room? [ laughter ] she goes on the other side and said, good luck, good luck. so i get in the tub. i get out of the tub. i put on the thing. and i'm just waiting. knock at the door. i look down. i go, don't even think about it. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i'm expecting -- i'm expecting this beautiful young geisha girl. i open it up, and there is a very old woman, sort of bent a little bit like this. and she's blind. [ laughter ] and i go, "hello?" and she just walks by me. just pushes her way by me. knows the room apparently.
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and i follow her. and she goes, "massage!" and i go, "yes." she finds her way through the robes. i follow her in. i've got this robe on. she goes, "down!" so i get on my knees. "belly or back?" "belly!" so i get on my belly. and she gets next to me. i go, "robe off?" "no!" and she feels my body with her fingers. and it's like all over, my legs, my feet, back. she goes, "begin!" and she starts massaging me, jimmy, like at supersonic speed. and she is humming as she does it. mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. and i'm laying there going, what? what is the -- what the [ bleep ]? 40 minutes of this high-speed thing. she finishes. she gets up and goes, "finish!"
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i get up, she goes "good-bye!" and she walks out. and janice comes in and says, "what the hell was that?" and i said, "i don't know, but he's right, this is a massage i'll never forget!" it was fantastic. [ applause ] >> jimmy: was it? >> i love deep tissue kind of massage. never touched my skin and it was the singular best. >> jimmy: you know what? let's take a commercial break. i'll give you a little rubdown. >> i appreciate that. >> jimmy: billy crystal is here. [ cheers and applause ]
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right, sully? >> that's me. thank you for coming to our presentation. and that concludes our presentation. thank you for coming. >> i think these are in the wrong order. >> good one, sully. classic note card mix 'em up. one of the laugh techniques we use at monsters, inc. hi, i'm mike wasowski, chief of comedy resources management, which is what it says on my parking spot. ha ha ha! ha! ahem. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is mike and sully from season two "monsters at work." john goodman, of course, your partner on that. >> oh, yeah. this is the second season. >> jimmy: right. >> and first of all, john and i are there. and we love working with each other. and it's a great group of guest artists. >> jimmy: who else? >> henry winkler, aubrey plaza,
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nathan fillian, bobby moynihan from "snl," bowen yang from "snl," ali wong. jennifer coolidge among all the other stars. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's a good lineup. >> and the shows are great. you know what's great about them, the original movie, "monsters, inc.," was 23 years ago now. >> jimmy: geez. >> yeah. so the kids who grew up loving that movie are now parents. >> jimmy: and showing it to their kids. >> so they can sit there with the kids and get new juice from these characters now. >> jimmy: i want to ask you about the -- you received the kennedy center honor. [ cheers and applause ] which is a very rare memorial. there are a lot of emmys, oscars, et cetera. but there are very few kennedy center honors handed out. that was in december. what was that day, or couple of days, really, like for you? >> well, it was an amazing experience because you don't ever think it's going to happen. >> jimmy: you don't? is that true? because i feel like for you, of course it's going to happen. >> no. i never take anything for
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granted, or you sometimes gee, that would be nice, you know. and i got the call in april. and you're not allowed to say anything until it's announced on television in june. so i had all of this time to just hold it in. and janice and i were the only ones who knew about it. and when i first was called, i get very emotional about it because it's a real, you know, reflection on your body of work, but also, i just flashed on my life and how it all started and my career and the chance of being brought home and the family i was brought home with parents who loved comedy, and my dad turning on the tv late at night for my brothers and i so i could watch sid caesar, and that was the golden age of comedians on television that gave me the spark, and then you end up doing it for a career. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it was just very emotional. when you get it -- i looked at my two daughters, who have grown
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up in my career. and we've done everything together. there with my wife of now 54 years, in a couple of months. [ cheers and applause ] and i looked at my daughters, and i said, "i know what you're thinking. you're looking at me now after all of these years, wearing this, and you're thinking, who's going to get that when he's dead?" [ laughter ] and then the next day -- >> jimmy: who is going to get it? which one of them? >> a coin flip. so you go to the white house first, and you meet the president and the first lady alone in the oval office. and that was amazing. he was sharp. he was funny. he was not indicted 94 times. [ laughter ] [ applause ] he was great. and the other four honorees who i can't remember who they are. [ laughter ]
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queen latifah, barry gibb, renee flemming and dionne warwick, who i opened for when i first started my career. we're getting these awards together. >> jimmy: wow. >> then you go to the gala after spending time with the president. and before that, you're introduced in the east room of the white house on the second floor by the president. and you get an usher who is a marine in full tails. and we're in this room upstairs, in the red room upstairs. and he said "mr. crystal, you're first because it's alphabetical order." usually i'm first because it's size order. [ laughter ] which was a thrill with the polio shot in '54, i was first. "make two steps and a right turn, you'll be introduced, and the president will col you in." i take two steps out, make my turn, hear music, they announce you. "the kennedy center honorees." they say my name and i walk out. it's usually a very staid kind of event. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you walk down the aisle, take it all in. i got overwhelmed. >> jimmy: i think we have a
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photograph of that of that moment. >> i just went, yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, nobody deserves it more. congratulations. billy crystal, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] season two of "monsters at work" on the disney channel, and may 5th on disney plus. we'll be back with j.b. smoove! at tj maxx, you can afford to turn your closet into a place of endless expression. with the quality, styles, and prices you love.
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>> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. music from sir is on the way. our next guest plays leon black, the bathrobe-wearing, testicle-exposing, ruckus-making roommate on "curb your enthusiasm." you can see the series finale sunday on hbo and max. say hello to j.b. smoove. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> oh, man! >> jimmy: you look great. holy cow do you look good. >> you should see my closet, man. it's incredible. >> jimmy: i bet it is. >> a bathroom in there, everything. a little kitchenette in my closet, a little bathroom.
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>> jimmy: do you really? >> no, a urinal. >> jimmy: oh, i like that. i like that a lot. >> a lot of people don't do that. >> jimmy: is everything color coordinated? >> everything is lined up perfectly. my clothes fight to wear me. [ cheers and applause ] i walk in the room, me, me, me, me. everybody shut up! >> jimmy: well, the winner is a winner tonight. that's for sure. >> this material is so nice. it's almost like someone could come in here and sit on me, you know what i mean? >> jimmy: yes. tonight, may i touch it? >> i'm like a walking, moving love seat. >> jimmy: would it be okay if i touch your materials? >> touch it, touch it, rub it! >> jimmy: oh, it is nice. >> a little chaise longue. a little footstool right there. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i'm very comfortable. i'm very comfortable. believe me. >> jimmy: do you know billy crystal? is he somebody that you know? >> oh my goodness, man, billy crystal is a legend. first time meeting him. i never met him before. >> jimmy: oh, this is your first time. okay.
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>> i only met him through tv and through movies. amazing. >> jimmy: what is your favorite movie of billy's? >> oh, man. "harry met sally." >> jimmy: that's a good choice. >> he waited too long. you're supposed to tap that ass right away. [ laughter ] they should have me in that car scene. they should have had me in the trunk, feeding his ass lines, you know what i mean? it would have been like "harry nhuppered sally." wasted too much time lollygagging around. tap that ass and move on, baby. >> jimmy: it would have been a 12-minute movie had you been in the trunk. is it really the final episode of "curb your enthusiasm" on sunday? i don't believe it. i just don't. >> you're like me. see? you're good friends with larry. >> jimmy: i know larry, yeah. >> i'm telling you, i don't believe larry. i can't see the man sitting still at home with his legs crossed bringing espressos or whatever he drinks. i don't know what he drinks.
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i can't see him sitting at home, man. >> jimmy: how much golf can a human being play? >> that guy, he loves some golf. let me tell you something. >> jimmy: he does. do you play with him? are you social with him? >> we air golf together on the set. that's all he does. that's his practice, all day. all day. all day. that's all he does all day. >> jimmy: yeah, they do that. that's a thing. >> i ask his friends, is larry good? they say larry ain't [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] i knew it! i knew it wasn't [ bleep ]. i can say that on tv. >> jimmy: i have to say. >> that's what they say. >> jimmy: i watch the show quite religiously. and i saw bruce springsteen on the show last night. and he was hilarious. he was so funny. it's almost disheartening. >> it's amazing. you know what? see, i'm like this, man. i watch the show as a fan. so here's what i do. i do my things, and i leave. i don't want to know everything, because i watch the show.
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i don't like seeing -- screening them, none of that stuff. i want to see it for myself. and when i saw that episode, man, let me tell you something, the boss did his thing, baby. the boss was amazing. >> jimmy: did you get to spend time with the boss? >> no, i didn't get time with the damn boss, man. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're not in the scene. >> i wanted to meet the boss. i just met billy crystal back there. i hugged him for a long time. get some of that billy crystal cologne, put it on my ears. cologne causes success, you know what i mean? success coming. >> jimmy: not off the boss. >> i didn't meet him, man. >> jimmy: do you keep anything from the show? do you keep a bathrobe or anything sentimental? >> wardrobe is vast. know what i mean? but i don't want to put that junk in my good closet. you know what i mean? >> jimmy: doesn't seem like your kind of thing. >> but i think leon has a style all his own. he had the robe. a lot of things very intentional. when you do a show, they bring you in, and they allow you to pick out your wardrobe. so we had the slides, of course, the socks up to the knee, the white socks up to the knee. >> jimmy: yeah. >> we had the robe. i told them the robe should not have a belt. he lost the belt a long time
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ago. but he still wears the robe, but he holds his hand like this. like a tall black napoleon, you know what i mean? [ laughter ] like napoleon holding his jacket shut that he lost all his buttons on his uniform, you know what i mean? that's how i felt. >> jimmy: see that? genius comes in many forms. >> and the do rag. >> jimmy: and the do rag. >> i must have 100 do rags. >> jimmy: i hope you saved some of those. >> i got to have some of those. >> jimmy: those could be big. >> and the chains, oh, man. i do the chains. i started doing the chains like maybe about four seasons ago. i want to have all leon's on chains like the ruckus and lampen. you know what i mean? "that's how i do's it," you know what i mean? people love it. people love it, jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> you take photos of your tv screen and post it. oh, i got to get this one just a minute. >> jimmy: well, maybe a line of leon jewelry will be your next step, you know?
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[ cheers and applause ] j.b. smoove, everybody. the series finale of "curb your enthusiasm" sunday night 10:00 on hbo and max. we'll be back with sir. your favorites are in one place. hulu on disney+, our class is much bigger this year, so let's take a roll call. bb-8? —[beeps] —belle? —hello. —bluey? —hello. —chewie? —[speaking shyriiwook] —stewie? —waaa. —steve? —how can i help you? —this is a fun twist. —who else? percy? —hey, guys. —professor? —help! i'm trapped in some sort of tile! ♪ hulu on disney+, available with disney bundle. sign up now. plans starting at 9.99 a month. business.
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>> jimmy: thanks to billy crystal and j.b. smoove. and cousin micki too. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next. but first, his album is called "heavy." making his late night tv debut with the song "you," sir! [ cheering and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ sitting on 24's would you look at those ♪ ♪ so amazing i throw my hands up to the ceiling ♪ ♪ it's some praise due heaven made you you were chosen rich rollin with ya ♪ ♪ hard hitter radio killer love is so lethal cold as sub zero ♪ ♪ may be thugzilla but i can deliver if i say i'm with ya baby i mean that i'm with ya ♪ ♪ ooh, oooh we gon make a song
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tonight it's about you im'ma put you on tonight ♪ ♪ baby sing along tonight we gon make a song tonight it's about you im'ma put you on tonight ♪ ♪ ain't been an hour since i landed you took me to a whole different planet ♪ ♪ i can barely stand it the view is amazing ♪ ♪ the air in here is easy to breathe i can't even find a reason to leave ♪ ♪ nothing against you all i know is if i can't be with you ♪ ♪ i couldn't see us being friends i won't even pretend ♪ ♪ like i ain't got other bridges to mend still i'm pickin up the signal you send ♪ ♪ you been looking for a hard hitter radio killer ♪
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♪ love is so lethal cold as sub zero may be thugzilla but i can deliver ♪ ♪ if i say i'm with ya baby i mean that i'm with ya ♪ ♪ ooh, oooh we gon make a song tonight it's about you im'ma put you on tonight ♪ ♪ baby sing along tonight we gon make a song tonight it's about you im'ma put you on tonight ♪ ♪ so ghetto just how i like it boujee and bad baby don't try to fight it ♪ ♪ i'm next level but you got the cheat code i might go beast mode and lose my mind ♪ ♪ we better hold on tight this is ride or die ♪ ♪ only fly when i'm in control ♪ ♪ i know i'm not your only fan but baby if i can ♪ ♪ i'd break every rule to make it so ♪ ♪ hard hitter radio killer love is so lethal cold as sub zero ♪ ♪ may be thugzilla but i can deliver if i say i'm with ya baby i mean that i'm with ya ♪ ♪ ooh, oooh we gon make a song tonight it's about you im'ma put you on tonight ♪ ♪ baby sing along tonight we gon make a song tonight it's about
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you im'ma put you on tonight ♪ ♪ hey hey ♪ ♪ i'ma put you on tonight ♪ ♪ baby sing along tonight we gon make a song tonight it's about you i'ma put you on tonight ♪ ♪ oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ singing oh oh oh oh oh ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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this is nightline tonight. the far out career of william shatner from captain kirk on star trek. >> risk is our business. >> to becoming the oldest man in a real life

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