reveal all of us here. we appreciate your time right now on jimmy kimmel, freddie highmore and sherri shepherd. have a good night. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- freddie highmore, sherri shepherd, and music from madi diaz and lennon stella. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel!

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everybody. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thanks for watching. thank you for joining us here on our home court in hollywood on what is traditionally one of the most productive workdays of the year. the day after the college basketball tournament ends. the university of connecticut huskies are champions once again. uconn won their second consecutive national title. they cruised by purdue. [ cheers and applause ] this was interesting. after the loss, frank purdue jr., whose father founded the school, said, "while uconn may have bested us on the court, when it comes to plump and well-priced chicken, they will never win." [ laughter ]

i think he's right. i have to say. the game was played in phoenix. for the huskies, 2500 miles away from home. but that didn't mean their fans didn't tear it up. >> you'll see there's some red solo cups on the ground, some booze, and tons and tons of party celebrations here. however, no light posts are down, no shattered windows or doors this year. we may not see extreme damage this morning, however, students still did get rowdy. a stop sign was pulled from the ground, students climbed a light post, and there were even some fireworks in celebration of the big win. >> jimmy: and we got footage of none of that. [ laughter ] i don't know. if the fans can't at least flip over an suv or set a couch on fire, i feel they didn't wan it enough. you're out of the tournament next year! [ laughter ] but for now, the huskies are champions, march madness is done, and we can all go back to pretending we're experts on vaccines and the middle east. instead of college basketball. [ laughter ] the uconman known as donald trump has a pretty busted

bracket right now. i don't know if you heard. his criminal case in new york is going to be headed for trial starting monday -- [ cheers and applause ] not so fast, because he's suing the judge. trump is suing the judge for issuing a gag order that would prevent him from, among other things, attacking the judge's daughter, which he has done. this gag order is for the stormy daniels hush money case. this is like something out of an episode of "seinfeld." "there's a gag order in the hush money trial?" [ laughter ] "can you gag a hush?" "oh, you can gag a hush." [ laughter ] by the way, do you know how many lawsuits trump has been involved in? according to "usa today," 4,095 before he was president. that's one lawsuit a day for 11 years. [ laughter ] i say if you get sued more than a hundred times, we send you to guantanamo bay and that's it. [ cheers and applause ] this has to be a maximum. trump is doing everything he

can to delay this hush money trial. which is what innocent people do, right? [ laughter ] it's pure desperation. his team's down 15 points with two seconds left, and they're still fouling in the game. jury selection is expected to start on monday. the judge yesterday released the questionnaire they'll use to vet potential jurors. they're not allowed to ask the jurors who they voted for, but they'll get that information in roundabout ways. these are some of the questions. "have you, a relative, or a close friend ever worked for any company or organization that is owned or run by donald trump or anyone in his family?" "has former president trump ever buried you or anyone you love on one of his golf courses?" [ laughter ] "is your preferred morning beverage -- coffee, tea, mountain dew code red, or sherwin williams low-gloss interior house paint?" "have you ever had sex with donald trump? if yes, for how many seconds?" [ laughter ] "how many babies do you believe hillary clinton eats in a day?" [ laughter ]

"do you now or have you ever had affiliation with -- qanon, the oath keepers, the proud boys, the pep boys, backstreet boys, boyz ii men, the baha men, the juggalos, bronies, trekkies, furries, oompa loompas, or kanye west?" i wish i could get in on questioning of the potential jurors. i'd be so good at it. "and one final question, sir. does your truck have nuts?" [ laughter ] and then we have the january 6th case in washington, which hinges on a big hearing before the supreme court later this month. they will rule on trump's silly claim that he can't be prosecuted because he had "presidential immunity." the special counsel, jack smith, yesterday, delivered his brief to the supreme court. and just to make sure they read it, he delivered it in a brand new rv and left the keys. [ laughter ] trump appointed three of those judges to the supreme court, which led to overturning roe v. wade. but now, he's saying he's not for a federal law against abortion. he thinks it should be left to the states. trump believes that every woman should have the right to drive

600 miles for health care. [ laughter ] and this is now upsetting a lot of his supporters, including senator lindsey graham, who said, "trump is making a mistake." and that's not the kind of thing trump likes to hear. from his pals. so, he lashed out. writing, "i blame myself for lindsey graham, because the only reason he won in the great state of south carolina is because i endorsed him!" and then he got it from his former vice poodle, too. mike pence wrote, "trump's retreat on the right to life is a slap in the face to the millions of pro-life americans who voted for him in 2016 and 2020." trump did not respond to that. i think he's scared of mike pence. i think mike pence must know too much. but with lindsey graham, this is a game they're playing. 7 out of 10 americans believe women should have the right to choose. republicans are losing elections on this issue. so, trump is gonna be the good guy or bad guy depending on which side you're on. and then lindsay will be on the other side, fitting hissy, saying trump is too lenient to calm the pro-choice republicans down. it's like wrestling, but with guys who, if you saw them in their underpants, you'd throw up.

[ laughter ] [ applause ] meanwhile, the arizona supreme court today ruled that the state has to follow a law from 1864 that makes getting an abortion a criminal offense with a sentence of two to five years. isn't that great? we're playing by the 1864 rules now. and these weaklings who worship trump, everything he does is great. even looking directly at an eclipse is great. >> remember back in 2017, people were criticizing president trump for looking at the eclipse? all the things donald trump did that he was told not to do, looking up during the eclipse was the most on brand. that was hysterical. but i hear them say, real men can look directly into an egypt eclipse. >> jimmy: yeah, defiant. look at this line at the bottom of the screen. "donald trump handled the eclipse with style." [ laughter ] and grace -- don't forget grace. he handled the eclipse with style. the big moron is lucky he isn't blind.

[ laughter ] how many of you went outside to see the eclipse? [ cheers and applause ] it was kind of fun to have everybody looking up at the same time. but the other effect it had was to activate the crazies. >> i'm telling you, something is not right about this eclipse. this is the path that it will take. it will cross over with the eclipse that we had in 2017, making an "x" on the country. >> this eclipse will also be going through rapture, indiana. >> nassau is shooting up three rockets on the eclipse. guess what they're calling it? serpent's deity. all the masses will be out with their glasses to watch it. >> what do you think's going on with this colliding tested at the same time as the solar eclipse? something might come through the dimensional doors. >> a ten-year eclipse, a ten-year cicada hibernation has lined up perfectly. >> the fant this hasn't happened before is suspicious. the fact that there is a giant city state park right outside

the forest known for bigfoot sightings is suspicious. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you ever seen a bigfoot, guillermo? no? you all right? i don't want to spoil your mood, but we got sad news this week. especially for those of us on the west coast. the 99 cent store filed for bankruptcy. they're closing all 371 stores for good. apparent already the business model of, "we can never, ever raise the price of anything" wasn't the best idea. [ laughter ] we have a lot of 99 cent stores. they're kind of an institution here. a lot of people in l.a. are bummed out. one of our writers, jamie, texted her mom. "how do you feel about 99 cents store closing?" her mom said, "i have a friend who is devastated. i am okay. i feel like they have gone downhill. the one on pico is great. is that closing too?" jamie said, "closing all 371 stores. effective friday."

her mom said, "it is end of an era." [ laughter ] "they sold condoms." [ laughter ] not the best condoms, but they had them. [ laughter ] we said, oh, this is funny, let's ask other people who work here to text their mothers about the 99 cent store. and we got -- one of our editors, kevin, said -- 99 cents store closing?" his mom replied, "i didn't hear! i use dollar tree anyway. but i think that sucks. i just got home from my procedure for my back. i'm very sore. just have to rest and the soreness could last up to three days before i start feeling relief. could take up to seven days to start giving some relief, if it works. i hope so! i have been pretty bad the last few days." [ laughter ] i think the message is two things. number one, kevin needs to be more in touch with mom. [ laughter ] and they probably sold some pretty good heating pads at the 99 cents store. [ laughter ] this is a response to jillian, one of our executive assistants, her mom said, "i need to stock

up on sponges." [ laughter ] my cousin sal texted his mother, my aunt fran. "how do you feel about the 99 cent stores shutting down?" aunt fran said, "i'm brokenhearted. the only place i felt rich. i didn't have to hesitate i just filled my cart." [ laughter and applause ] and this is from one of our writers, danny. "i might have to get some grief counseling." [ laughter ] danny is like, "what did you usually get there?" she said, "party decorations, gift bags, candles, dish soap, etc. nothing high end for sure." then, "i'm very suspicious of you asking me about this. are you writing a bit for the show about boomer moms upset about the dollar stores closing?" [ laughter and applause ] well. it's the 99 cents store, not a dollar. and yes, we are, mrs. ricker, and thank you for being a part of it. reading but again, this is terrible news for any of us

who loved to walk around a store and know what every item cost without even having to look at it. reading in honor of your mom, my mom's favorite place, tonight we say good-bye to the 99 cents only store and all that it offered. ♪ ♪ er my god to thee nearer to thee ♪ ♪ nearer my god to thee ♪ ♪ nearer my god to thee nearer

to thee ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. well, you know what they say. every time a 99 cents store closes, a spirit halloween gets its wings. [ laughter ] we've got a good show for you tonight. sherri shepherd is here. [ cheers and applause ] we have music from maddie diaz and lennon stella. and we'll be right back with the good doctor himself, freddie highmore. so stick around!

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight, formerly of "the view," now she has a talk show of her very own. it is called "sherri." sherri shepherd is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later, a talented singer-songwriter. her album "weird faith" is out now. music from maddie diaz with lennon stella. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, jon bon jovi and henry hall will be here. with music from mk.gee. please join us for that. next month, our first guest will join the ranks of clooney, laurie, and mcdreamy when he relinquishes his pretend medical license and goes back to being a non-doctor actor. maybe forever. you can see the final season of "the good doctor" tuesday nights here on abc.

please welcome freddie highmore. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: it's always a pleasure. how is life? >> i brought you something. >> jimmy: you brought me something? >> seeing as i'm retiring as a surgeon, i was getting rid of some of the old equipment that i have no need for. you actually gave me this, and i figured i should return it to its rightful owner. >> jimmy: you're regifting it back to me? >> a regift. >> jimmy: i'm not sure how i feel about that to start with. oh, yes, i remember this. oh, yes. this is -- what's it called again? >> the orchidodemeter. >> jimmy: this is a device that pediatricians use -- >> i think all ages. >> jimmy: oh. >> i think you could get some use out of it if you need to. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: to measure testicles. [ laughter ]

what they do is they squeeze this, then they compare it to you. [ laughter ] >> it's got me in trouble in the last year. >> jimmy: i'm sure it has, yeah. >> yeah. not for that reason. [ laughter ] i haven't used it on people. >> jimmy: what have you been doing with it? >> well, you gave it to me, i put it in my pocket. i got back on the plane. before i got on the plane, the tsa guy was like, "what is this?" [ laughter ] he pulls it out. like you did, bead by bead. [ laughter ] out of my pocket. yeah. >> jimmy: did you explain what it was? >> yeah, i said, "jimmy kimmel --" >> jimmy: you blamed it on me? [ laughter ] >> yeah, so i could test people's testicles. >> jimmy: was it helpful at all? >> he didn't seem amused. >> jimmy: did you give him a little squeeze just to show him? [ laughter ] >> no, but he got his hand down in the belt. you know how they do that thing? >> jimmy: do $he really? >> they always do. >> jimmy: i'm going to tell you,

they never do that to me. >> they never get in there. >> jimmy: never been touched. why? >> they were trying to find out what's in there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you telling me -- like in the last ten times you've been on a flight, you've gotten a hand put in there? >> just -- only in the tsa line. >> jimmy: well, yeah. [ laughter ] >> i'd say half. half the time they go in the belt. i don't know. maybe it's just me. >> jimmy: guillermo, do you have that experience? >> guillermo: no, no. [ laughter ] no, never. >> jimmy: i'm not fooling around, i just want to say, does the audience, you guys have that experience? [ audience: no ] >> jimmy: okay, you are being inappropriately touched by tsa. >> now i'm realizing what's really been going on. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow, that is remarkable. maybe they don't do it to americans. maybe they hear the accent, "we better check him out." >> yeah, they trust you more, yeah. >> jimmy: you shoot the or shot "the good doctor," i guess it's over now in vancouver. you spent a good deal of your

life living up there. are you going to miss being up there? >> yes. yeah, i will. i mean, i'll miss the crew. they've become such a family. the cast. my one regret is never embracing my full canadian outdoorsy personality that was probably in there somewhere. >> jimmy: did you feel that you wanted to break out and -- >> they'd say, "have you been ca camping?" "yeah, i've been camping." "did you go backcountry camping, fight off bears, put out your tent, do a cold plunge in the river, go back home?" "no, i haven't done that." the cold plunge, they tell you you're going to get a good buzz but i feel there are other ways to get a good buzz that are more fun. >> jimmy: i couldn't be more on board with that notion. the cold plunge thing, i think about it probably a total of 45 minutes a day. and the more i am against it, the more everyone else around me

is for it, trying to say, "oh, it's so great for you." they have no evidence of this. there have been no -- no studies have been done to determine that it's great for you. >> have you ever done it? >> jimmy: i have done it, and i'm going to tell you something, it's terrible. [ laughter ] you know what it is, you're getting in really very, very cold water. >> yeah, and you go down several numbers on the meter. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: guy's putting his hand on there, "i don't know where they are." >> "did you cold plunge recently, sir?" >> jimmy: not to get personal -- we already have, i guess. [ laughter ] my wife likes this cold plunge thing. she'll go to the gym to go into the cold plunge thing. and yet she won't get in the pool unless i heat it up to 85. [ laughter ] this drives me insane. good, i'm glad you're against cold plunging, although i do

like that outdoor environment up there in vancouver. >> yes. >> jimmy: and you will move back to the uk? >> back to the uk, yeah. yeah, the cold plunge -- i need to get back into -- so last time i was here, i told you about my exercise bike debacle. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> i've given that away. so now i'm going to go back into classes. i'm a little bit worried because the reason i got an exercise bike in the first place was i had a terrible experience in a spinning class here in l.a. >> jimmy: you didn't tell me that story? >> no, i haven't told this one. >> jimmy: what happened? >> well, at first i just thought i was in the wrong place. it was very dark. it was loud. i thought i was in a club. my ears adjusted and i realized, this is where i'm meanting to, spinning away. there was a seat, a free bike towards the front, so i go up there and settle in. i thought i'd be right next to the teacher and that was the best place to be. little did i know, that was where you're meant to lead everyone. "are you good at the front?" and i was like, "yeah, yeah, probably for the best."

thinking she was going to help me out. then it started. and i was actually -- the start was actually pretty good. because i was going faster than anyone else in the room. doing double time. you do it to the music. i could do it twice as fast. everyone's looking at me, "this guy's great, we thought he was a pasty brit, but no, he's bringing it." the teacher's like, "turn it up, you've got to turn it up, buddy." i thought she was talking about the music. "yeah, let's turn this up!" and unfortunately, it was not about turning up the music, but my knob. the dial. [ laughter ] she came over and grabbed the dial thing. and unfortunately, i was just at a very bad resistance. >> jimmy: oh, you were at a low resistance, and that's why you were able to go fast. >> exactly. >> jimmy: did she have to tell people that? would anyone have known your knob was misaligned? [ laughter ] would anyone have known besides her?

>> i don't know, i feel we can get a testicle or penis reference into every single story. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i hope so, i hope so. in a way you were spin-shamed. >> i was. tsa line-shamed. spin-shamed. this is why i need to just get back home. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you'd think at this point, because you could be -- like, you could be a doctor if you'd, instead of been on this show, gone to medical school. >> probably would have been a better use of my time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: definitely now. now looking back, yeah, it would have been better for sure. do you think you could perform a minor surgery? i'm not talking about brain surgery, i'm talking about something simple. >> kelenna: yeah, i mean, last week i did a ten-minute abdominal surgery, in and out. yeah, easy. >> jimmy: you mean on the set. [ laughter ] >> yeah, on the set. no, we've got, like -- so there's bumny bodies and real bodies that we have on the set. i'm pretty good with the dummy bodies. unfortunately, with the real bodies, they only go in

occasionally so they can see their faces. i forget they're real and end up prodding them with various pieces of medical equipment that i shouldn't. [ laughter ] the pulse lavage was a recent one. it's like this -- do you know what a pulse lavage is? >> jimmy: of course, but tell them. [ laughter ] >> it's like a sort of jack hammer that squirts water. >> jimmy: what? >> i was using it season two. i got too enthusiastically into it in season one, and it was so aggressive, "take that away from him." in the last season, "fine, he can get his pulse lavage back." i wanted to do a good job, trying to work out how to use it. put it down and the real patient was there and i squirted them with water. they jumped up, and obviously if you're under anesthesia, that's not really what's meant to happen. [ laughter ] the pulse lavage was confiscated again. i should have brought you that. >> jimmy: i'm going to get you a pulse lavage to get -- to take back to england with you.

freddie highmore is with us. the final season of "the good doctor" is on abc. be back with freddie after this. kiel live" are brought to you by allstate. save money and protect yourself from mayhem with allstate. ♪ ♪ i got the power of 3. i lowered my a1c, cv risk, and lost some weight. in studies, the majority of people reached an a1c under 7 and maintained it. i'm under 7. ozempic® lowers the risk of major cardiovascular events such as stroke, heart attack, or death in adults also with known heart disease. i'm lowering my risk. adults lost up to 14 pounds. i lost some weight. ozempic® isn't for people with type 1 diabetes. don't share needles or pens, or reuse needles. don't take ozempic® if you or your family ever had medullary thyroid cancer, or have multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if allergic to it. stop ozempic® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or an allergic reaction. serious side effects may include pancreatitis. gallbladder problems may occur. tell your provider about vision problems or changes.

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♪ >> jimmy: we are back with freddie highmore from "the good doctor." this is the final season of the show. are you happy with the ending of the show? it's a big deal, the ending of a show that's been on seven years.

>> it is. i feel we all knew it was going to be the end, so we could write toward something meaningful and satisfying. >> jimmy: you felt it did that? >> yeah, it's pretty emotional. our last day was friday, we had the wrap party sunday. it's odd to be saying good-bye to people you've become so close to so long. >> jimmy: i would think so, yeah. especially because i would imagine that most of you were living in a town you didn't live in, so it makes everybody closer in some ways. >> exactly. yeah. >> jimmy: your character had a baby on the show. and is the baby played by two babies? is that the -- >> yes, i think we've had even more than -- i mean, when the baby was born, that was the end of last season. and then this season, we started filming kind of nine months later, so they had to just get a baby that hadn't even been conceived when we originally had our baby. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh. >> and then -- yeah, we've got two main ones, finn and matea, who trade in and out. >> jimmy: you know the babies'

names? which one do you like better? [ laughter ] >> they're each good at different things. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what matea's forte? >> they're both really lovely babies. [ laughter ] i feel their parents will be watching. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> "yeah, he told us he liked us when he said good-bye on sunday, but did he really?" >> jimmy: now they know you didn't. how old were you when you made "charlie and the chocolate factory"? thank you. [ cheers and applause ] i was -- i was maybe 11, 12? i can't quite remember. >> jimmy: i watch it with my kids all the time. sometimes i'll get pictures of us together, "look, he's grown up now, i know him." they don't understand at all what i'm talking about. >> i think you use this to point to them and explain the transition. >> jimmy: i'm going to be wearing this home, yeah. [ laughter ] and do you, like -- at that age,

do you even -- because i remember stuff from when i was that age but not that much stuff. >> the sets were amazing. i always remember the sets being beautiful and kind of surreal, just walking onto them. it was spectacular. they built everything for real. there was one -- there was the little chocolate river thing that unfortunately was made of toothpaste rather than chocolate and started to smell after a couple of weeks. so that wasn't so good. but the rest of it was amazing. it was truly remarkable. >> jimmy: you and all these years later, now you've made the sequel. you've brought the world exclusive trailer premiere. >> i have. >> jimmy: for the new movie. should we just roll it? anything need to be said? >> i feel like it will introduce itself. [ laughter ] i guess. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. >> 19 years ago -- a boy inherited a factory. >> it's beautiful. >> and now, the gates are open

once more. >> hello, children, my name is charlie beckett, and welcome to my chocolate factory. wow. pretty sweet, huh? >> unwrap our magic. >> and my one and only oompa loompa! [ laughter ] >> want some upiness and feta mean? >> not for me. >> meet new friends. >> what's that? it's the unknown! i am relieved you see her too. >> a delicious new chapter. >> this doesn't look like the pictures. >> i made that using chatgpt. everything here is created by chatgpt.

♪ candy is good candy is ♪ sweet is fun and we love to imagination ♪ >> with the boy who got everything he ever wanted. >> where's the candy? >> a juice box and one jelly bean. >> this is sad. >> sad? when i was your age, i would have loved a jelly bean. i grew up in a roofless shack. my grandparents slept in one bed. >> all of them? >> all of them. the smell was -- but did i complain? no. because -- i had a dream. a dream to own my own chocolate factory. you're the only one who gets me, unknown.

>> discover the true story. >> i'm going to level with you. the factory never took off. i was 10. i did my best, but i was in way over my head. considering all of that i'd say, look at this place, i've done pretty darn swell. >> can we go? >> you misunderstand, children, you've won. congratulations! the factory is yours! >> let's kill him. >> no, no! candy is good! >> "charlie and the chocolate factory part 2." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks for sharing that with us. freddie highmore, everybody. the final season of "the good doctor" tuesday nights at 10:00 on abc. thank you. we'll be back with sherri shepherd. if you're living with hiv, imagine being good to go without daily hiv pills.

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, welcome back. we have music from maddie diaz and lennon stella on the way. our next guest is a very funny woman who survived the ongoing skirmish known as "the view" to graduate to her own talk show. "sherri" airs weekdays in syndication. please say hello to sherri shepherd. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you look great. that looks great. you look like you could an dancing star again. >> oh, yeah. oh my gosh, i would love to go back to "dancing with the stars." >> jimmy: are you ready for another round? >> i definitely could. the last time i saw you, i got voted off. we had to come over here. so i was up to do a re-do with

my tango. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that was a great situation for me. each week we got disappointed celebrities coming to the show. [ laughter ] >> i was so devastated. i didn't want to dance, i wanted to just cry the whole time. >> jimmy: yeah. well, things worked out. >> it did. >> jimmy: is it better doing a show by yourself than doing it with four other people? >> i love doing it by myself. because i get to -- like, you know with "the view," a lot of politics. we got in our skirmishes. we loved eve each other. on my show, i get to have fun. >> jimmy: no one fights with you on the show? >> no, they get fired if they do. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i know you just got picked up for a third season, congratulations. >> i got a third season, oh my gosh. >> jimmy: very difficult, the daytime talk show world, isn't it? >> it's so difficult. it's just me. and i got -- i got an naacp image award for best talk show host. [ cheers and applause ]

i'm like -- it's so -- it's surreal, jimmy. because it's just me. if i can't get sick, because people don't get paid. i just go, no matter if i have a voice or not, i just sit there and talk. i get to talk. i talk for 21 minutes. like, every day. i get to run my damn mouth. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. it's all you could ever want. do you ever have a situation where a guest doesn't show up? >> oh, yeah, every guest shows up. we were supposed to have vice president kamala harris come on the show. it was a big deal. i mean, i've never seen the streets of new york more clean in front of our studio. there was not -- >> jimmy: they 12 went and cleans things up for the vice president? they clean it up for the vice president. so it was nothing on the streets, in front of the studio. we had a lot of policemen. all my girlfriends came up in vans because there was so many single police officers. [ laughter ] just outside the studio. so they had dogs all in the studio, like sniffing

everything. and i guess it was really -- it was a lot of bad weather in d.c. so she couldn't take air force two to new york. so she had to cancel. >> jimmy: oh. >> two hours before we were supposed to air the show. >> jimmy: oh, that's no good. >> yeah, so you know, that sends people in a panic. everybody was all panicked. they didn't know what to do. i was stressed out, too. we had tailored the entire show around vice president harris. i had bought all of these girl scout cookies to send to the troops. it was six, seven boxes. i ate them all. [ laughter ] but you know, what's so great about being a stand-up comic is, my executive producer, john murray, came in, "sherri, you know how to do this, you talk." all the segments that we had scheduled for the vice president, i just talked. i think i did close to 30 minutes of just talking. >> jimmy: your producer came in and said, "the plan, since we've lost the guest, is for you to just figure it out"? [ laughter ] >> yeah. you've got to figure out what

your superpower is. mine is stand-up. i can talk, i can make anything funny. he said, "just talk about your experience with her canceling." >> jimmy: i would have fired him on the spot. [ laughter ] "this is your idea, for me to talk in" [ laughter ] >> i went out there, and i talked and i talked. i know you vacation a lot, i consider that -- talking, talking, talking -- >> jimmy: now hold on a minute. >> i'm just saying. [ cheers and applause ] i know how to run my mouth. >> jimmy: how much vacation time to you get? >> i'm on vacation right now. i'm doing what i love. >> jimmy: how many weeks -- you're doing stand-up. >> i do stand-up. i've been doing sold-out shows in atlanta, city winery. i did a sold-out show in birmingham. i'm at the baltimore comedy factory. i added another one -- >> jimmy: because you love it. >> i love. [ cheers and applause ] i love doing stand-up. like, i just have a need to get on stage and make people laugh. >> jimmy: how did you fall in love with it? when was that moment? when did that happen?

>> i was a legal secretary. all i used to do is go home and go to bed at 8:00. i said, let's go to the comedy store. i was making people laugh. andrew dice clay went onstage. he used to do "hickory dicry dock, your mama's mouth --" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> it shows you the power of the tongue. a lady goes, "you're as funny as him, you need to do this." eddie griffin got up, and i saw people laughing. i went up to them after the show. i was so scared. to this day, eddie griffin says i was a groupie. [ laughter ] and i wasn't. i just said, "i want to do that." they both said, "do it." "but i'm scared." dice and eddie griffin said, "do it scared." that's my mantra for life. [ cheers and applause ] i started doing stand-up. i never thought. i love it. i love it. >> jimmy: yeah, you got the fever, i can see it in your eyes. >> i got the fever. that laughter, it energizes me. i love being able to take a situation and make it funny. >> jimmy: yeah.

>> it just is what i do. >> jimmy: yeah. you were at my comedy club in las vegas, right? >> i went to vegas because i'm on hiatus. i wanted to see my dear friend luenell. >> jimmy: she's so funny, she does the show sunday nights there. >> she has the residency there. she's like, "i'll get you tickets and you can see me." i said, "are you going to comp?" "i don't do no comps." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that true, luenell charged you? >> we bought the tickets. "at least can we sit up in the front in" we were all the way in the back, back of the bus. she was so funny. we watched her do stand-up. she's freaking killing it at the club. she called me on stage, she introduced me. she was so sweet. i even love -- at your comedy club, jimmy, you got a bathroom that is like -- you got everything in the bathroom. >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> i mean, like you got candy in the bathroom. you got snacks in the bathroom. you got a box of tampons.

i don't got a uterus, i can't use that no more. [ laughter ] you got everything in that bathroom. >> jimmy: that's what i said, i said, "there's got to be tampons, there have got to be snacks, we've got to make sure this bathroom is a place people want to come to eat!" [ laughter ] >> it as nice bathroom. i was in the bathroom, and i stole everything in the back room, i took it all. you never know when you're going to get to go shopping again. i took everything. >> jimmy: it's not stealing when it's in there, it's to enjoy, it's to be taken. >> i enjoyed it. all the popcorn and the cheetos, it was great. thank you so much. >> jimmy: oh, hey, it's my pleasure. i'm glad you enjoyed it. >> i did. [ applause ] >> jimmy: what did you do in that time when you were -- oh, you said you were a legal secretary. was that supposed to be your career? >> you know, i had wanted to -- i was learning spanish in college. and i wanted to go to spain for a couple of years and do that. i had so many jobs.

i've worked at the 99 cents store. >> jimmy: did you really? [ cheers ] >> i worked at the 99 cents stor over la sierra over there. >> jimmy: yeah. >> something i got from the 99 cents store, i used to get the cleaning products. they would clean all your house, burn the hair inside your nose. [ laughter ] it had that smell. all your baby hair left after you smelled it. but i used to get all the cleaning products. >> jimmy: what did you do? were you a cashier? >> i was stocking the shelves. i did that. i worked at seerls. i would gift wrap presents. that only lasted three or four weeks. i was a teenager, wasn't no boys coming by to get anything gift wrapped. [ laughter ] it was all grandmothers. i can wrap a gift, you don't even care about the present, you look at the gift wrapping. i know how to cut it, fold it, it's so pretty. >> jimmy: i admire that. i'm the worst gift wrapper. i try really, really hard and it never comes out. >> yeah, there's a way you got to cut it. there's a way you got to fold

it. it's like -- it's orgasmic the way i gift wrap a present. >> jimmy: hey, wow. you know what? would you mind wrapping one of these? [ laughter ] [ cheers ] watch "sherri" weekdays in syndica syndication. sherri shepherd, everybody. we'll be back with maddie diaz and lennon stella! you can see the store's inventory. so you guys really have mangoes in stock? yup.

what about frozen pizza? here they are. fresh salmon. too easy. coffee? yup.

>> jimmy: thanks to freddie highmore and sherri shepherd. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next. but first, her album "weird faith" is out now. here with the song "one less question" with help from lennon stella, maddie diaz! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ are we flesh and bone are we just a dream are we lost or found or somewhere in between ♪ ♪ do we ever get where we wanna be

did we invent heaven to keep us in line ♪ ♪ like the sun and the moon are the ones telling time ♪ ♪ nothing could stop me from wondering why ♪ ♪ but you're one less question ♪ ♪ ♪ does the sky get tired of holding our prayers do they even make it up there ♪ ♪ even if i could see behind the curtain maybe the knowledge would just be a burden ♪ ♪ it still wouldn't stop me from feeling uncertain ♪ ♪ but you're

one right answer that never keeps me guessing ♪ ♪ some understanding you're one less question you're one less question ♪ ♪ you're one last question ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ you're one you're one one you're one ♪ ♪ you're one right answer you're one less question ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this is "nightline." >> byron: tonight, crumbley sentenced. the parents of school shooter ethan crumbley confronted in court by the