tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC July 4, 2024 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
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area connected tv app. it's available for apple tv, google tv, amazon fire tv and roku. download the app now and start screaming! thanks so much for watching tonight. i'm julian glover, right now. jimmy kimmel, magic >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- earvin "magic" johnson, jo koy, and music from doechii with jt.
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with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, thank you. very nice. thank you. feels like deja vu. hi, everyone, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for joining us on big-time basketball night in america. a special welcome to those of you who are still conscious after game one of the nba finals, the boston celtics versus the dallas mavericks. one of the fun things about working at abc is because we have the finals on our network, i already know who wins. [ laughter ] i get an advance screener. but don't worry, no spoiler alerts. and i hope the mavericks are watching tonight because we have something of an expert when it comes to beating the celtics in the finals, the great and powerful magic johnson is here. [ cheers and applause ]
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that's not the only great and powerful person. guillermo, welcome back. you've been gone for the last couple of nights. >> guillermo: yes, jimmy, yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: guillermo went to boston for media day. you got interviews with all the stars, right? >> guillermo: that's right, jimmy. >> jimmy: and you got interviewed a lot yourself, too? >> guillermo: yes, i did, yes. >> jimmy: is it hard to conduct interviews when you're there to conduct interviews when people are trying to interview you? >> guillermo: it's very hard, jimmy. >> jimmy: oh my god, you go through so much, and i'm so proud of you. >> guillermo: it's a lot of work. >> jimmy: guillermo is a lakers fan, which makes this a bit sacrilegious, but we dressed him up as the celtics mascot, drunky the leprechaun. [ laughter ] which made for more than a little bit of confusion when guillermo stopped for a quick chat with jonah javad from our abc affiliate wfaa in dallas. >> so i'm here with the boston celtics mascot, lucky the leprechaun. you look different from the last time i saw you. >> guillermo: i think i put a few pounds. >> what happened? >> guillermo: i don't know, i think -- i made it too much lobster rolls and clam chowder.
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>> do we have a prediction for the series? >> guillermo: five -- game -- 5-2. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: 5-2? was that your prediction or your blood alcohol content, what is that? [ laughter ] >> guillermo: alcohol. >> jimmy: it only got less comprehensible from there. >> can we get a quick shout-out? "you are watching the nba finals on wfaa." >> guillermo: i'm watching the nba finals on w -- h -- >> wfaa. >> guillermo: i'm watching the -- oh, you -- oh -- w what? >> wfaa. >> guillermo: w? wfaa? got it. you're watching the final on waff! [ laughter and applause ] >> guillermo: sorry, sorry, too much tequila. >> jimmy: you spelled half the word "waffles" there, guillermo. [ laughter ] we'll have guillermo's exclusive report.
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today is also the 80th anniversary of d-day. eighty years ago on this day, american, british and canadian troops stormed the beaches of normandy to fight the forces of good people on both sides. [ laughter ] president biden was in normandy today to remember our great heroes. donald trump, in 2018, infamously opted not to visit the graves of american soldiers in france because he didn't want to get his hair wet. us a, he called them suckers and losers. that's not a joke. even though the only thing he ever stormed was daniels. [ audience moaning ] [ rim shot ] but draft dodger don did muster up something respectful this morning. he wrote, "today, we honor the immortal heroes who landed at normandy 80 years ago. the men of d-day will live forever in history as among the bravest, noblest, and greatest americans ever to walk the earth. they shed their blood, and thousands gave their lives in defense of american freedom. they are in our hearts today and
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for all time." which i agree with and would even be somewhat moved by, had he not 12 hours earlier posted, "what i've gone through, no one has ever gone through." [ laughter ] "i have been under siege." and wasn't steven seagal fantastic in that movie? [ laughter ] trump is in california tonight and all this weekend with a collection basket. he's got a fundraiser in beverly hills tomorrow that costs $250,000 a person. well, you know, it's not every day you get the chance to take a selfie with a convicted felon who can't control his gas. [ laughter ] and then on saturday, trump headlines a fundraiser in newport beach, co-hosted by the guy who founded oculus vr. the goggles. palmer luckey, aka billy ray virus. [ laughter ] as for old yeller himself, he is so fired up, he's foaming at the mouth. >> we will take back our country on november 5th, 2024. >> jimmy: whoa, oh my god. [ laughter ] it's not something i ever need to see again. i think i need to see that
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again. [ laughter ] >> november 5th, 2024. november 5th, 2024. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ooh -- poor melania, i'm so sorry, everybody. and i show that not to embarrass the former president, although i do enjoy doing that -- [ laughter ] but to point out that these people who work for trump are so incompetent, they don't even think to not post a video where he's literally foaming at the mouth. [ laughter ] only the best people. reports are saying that trump has whittled his list of potential running mates down to four contenders. they are all men. the rumored final four said to be in contention are florida senator marco rubio -- >> we have a con artist as the front-runner in the republican party. this guy bankrupted a casino. how do you bankrupt a casino? >> jimmy: ohio senator j.d. vance. >> i'm a never trump guy. i never liked him. i can't stomach trump. i think that he's noxious. >> on twitter vance called trump, quote, reprehensible, an idiot. >> jimmy: north dakota governor doug burgum.
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>> would you ever do business with donald trump? >> i don't think so. >> why? [ laughter ] >> i -- i just think that it's important that you're judged by the company you keep. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and south carolina senator tim scott. >> i just love you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think we have a winner! [ laughter and applause ] i mean, isn't that great? how are these guys not ashamed of themselves? we have this on video. at least tim scott has been slurping trump's ass since the first day. [ laughter ] the rest of them are such spineless, impotent, boot-licking slugs. the only thing that surprises me is that ted cruz isn't on the list. [ laughter ] you know, there are 37 countries that donald trump, as a convicted felon, is not allowed to visit. and another impact of his many felony convictions is he loses his license to carry a concealed weapon. which if you think about it, it's pretty crazy that a guy who
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is not allowed to carry a concealed weapon would be allowed to carry a nuclear weapon. [ laughter ] that's like your parents saying "you can't have a puppy, but if you get good grades, we'll buy you a werewolf." [ laughter ] trump has three guns registered in his name. and he doesn't even know how to hold one. you can see -- look at this guy. you can see his life flashing before his eyes. [ laughter ] thin he's got a glock there. that's the same face he made when he held eric for the first time. [ laughter ] "what the hell am i supposed to do with this?" trump has already turned in two of his guns, the guns he has in new york. now if he wants to shoot someone on fifth avenue, he's going to have to do it with a crossbow. [ laughter ] this is pretty good. this is a funeral home in tonawanda, new york is having some neighbor-trouble because the folks who live near it aren't crazy about breathing the smoke that comes out of the crematorium. >> i'm be honest with you, i would not want to live in a neighborhood where there's a crematorium so many feet from my house. >> that's the reality for homeowners who live behind the funeral home and crematory on sheridan drive.
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this comes after a long fight by those in the community and lawmakers to fourth the crematory out of the neighborhood. >> jimmy: you see, it's the "am i gone" funeral home! [ laughter ] i hope you're gone. if not, you're in the wrong place. [ laughter ] you get it, guillermo? >> guillermo: yeah, yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you get it, all right. i mentioned earlier -- we have a tradition. every year, we send guillermo to nba finals media day. every year they send him back. [ laughter ] some years we have holdouts, but this year he got them all. here he is, guillermo with the celtics and the mavericks at nba finals media day. >> guillermo: i'm here at the nba finals. let's go talk to some players. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> guillermo: my friend, how are you doing? >> good, how are you? >> guillermo: you play in texas. have you ever met a horse?
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>> no, i haven't met a horse. >> guillermo: hi, how are you? congratulation to make it to the finals. >> thank you, you got the wrong stuff on, though. >> guillermo: i do. hold on, let me fix it for you. all right, thank you so much. yee-haw! yeah. hey, let me ask you a question from my bucket, okay? >> okay, let's go. >> guillermo: do you want to read it, or do you want me to read it? >> you read it. >> guillermo: how do you feel about "young sheldon" finally ending after seven hilarious seasons? "young sheldon" finally ending after -- >> "young sheldon" finally ending after -- >> guillermo: it's a sitcom on channel 2. >> really? >> guillermo: hey, man, how are you? good to see you, everything good? >> you bet. the first members ran leprechaun. >> guillermo: the first mexican leprechaun, how are you? i'm going to grab a marshmallow, you have to guess who it is, okay? all right, ready?
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which do you think it is? yeah! look, good job, man. you win a box of lucky charms. >> thank you. was your hand on it? >> guillermo: yeah, i touched all of them. hi, jayson tatum, one quick question, how are you doing? >> what's up, bro? >> guillermo: congratulations making to it the finals. >> thanks. >> guillermo: my question is, what is the difference between an irishman and an alcoholic? >> i don't know. >> guillermo: the alcoholic goes to the meetings. all right, one more, one more. >> got to go. >> guillermo: oh. hey, how are you? >> good, how are you doing? >> guillermo: can you hold this for me? >> yeah, i can. oh, you've got a secret compartment. is this like a "kingsman" situation? is that a flask? you're ready to be a boston celtic, a fan, looks like. is there electrolytes in there? >> guillermo: thank you very much. >> you're welcome. [ laughter and applause ]
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>> guillermo: time to spill the tea. who has the gross toenails? >> who has the grossest toenails? >> guillermo: in the team? >> i don't know that answer, but i'm going to go with -- >> guillermo: you travel with them, you should know. >> my feet ain't perfect, i'll say me. >> guillermo: you say you? oh, that's good. >> more tea? >> guillermo: more tea. cheers. here. you want to eat a sandwich? >> is that a sandwich? >> guillermo: this is -- >> can i eat it? >> guillermo: yeah, you can eat it. >> you sure? >> guillermo: it's a finger sandwich. >> okay. this is -- this is what they do here in boston? >> guillermo: yeah. >> okay. >> guillermo: i touch it with my fingers. [ laughter ] >> no, i'm cool. >> guillermo: you cool? >> i'm all right. >> guillermo: you shower with all the players, right? >> yes, i do. >> guillermo: who has the worst tattoo? >> who has the worst tattoo? oh, that's a really good question. >> guillermo: spill the tea. >> i hope he doesn't get mad at
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me, but i'm going to go with oshae brissett. from my team, yeah. >> guillermo: oh, wow. >> he's a big spider-man fan. >> guillermo: oh, yeah? >> he's got some really good ones, then there's one that's not so good. >> guillermo: can i see your spider-man tattoo? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: what a nerd. >> what you say? >> guillermo: nothing, i say i like it. you know how to speak like boston? >> no. >> guillermo: no? >> i don't. you? >> guillermo: yeah, i -- let's try it. we're going to speak like boston, all right? boston. do you get to the final because the other team suck so frigging hard? how am i doing? >> i farted in my car near fenway park. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: good job. >> this summer i'm getting hardcore into parkour. that might be sexy? no? >> guillermo: an exercise, i think. hi, curry, how are you?
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i want to say congratulations. >> all right, all right. good to see you, man. >> guillermo: i don't want to have -- squash our beef -- >> we have beef? >> guillermo: you stepped on me last time. [ laughter ] >> i wish i had a flower for you, bro, i'd give to it you, man. >> guillermo: we cool, right? >> we good, brother. >> guillermo: can i ask you a question from my bucket? >> could you beat air bud one on one? i think that would be a tough one on one, air bud. shout-out air bud. follow-up. how would you beat air bud? not letting him touch the ball. >> guillermo: good luck, take care. let me give you a lucky coin. good luck against air bud. >> thanks, lucky. >> guillermo: luka, how are you doing? let me ask you a question. when you were 13 years old, you turned professional, right? >> yeah. >> guillermo: when i was 14, i made love to a lady the first time.
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it's not the nba but it's something, right? >> it's good days. >> guillermo: it's good days. can i ask you a question from my magic bucket? >> yeah, yeah. how come nobody wears really tight shorts anymore? did something happen? i don't know, i was too young. i wasn't here yet. >> guillermo: last question. i know you've got to go. do you work out? >> yes. >> guillermo: yeah? >> you? >> guillermo: no. that's it from the nba finals. they're kicking me out of the court! >> get off the court! >> guillermo: oh, sorry, sorry! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very well done, thank you. gracias, my little leprechaun, well done. we've got a very good show for you tonight. jo koy is here. we have music from doechii and jt. and we'll be right back with earvin "magic" johnson. [ navigation ] stay straight for the next 200 miles. ♪ hey, come on, come on ♪ ♪ do what you want ♪ ♪ what could go wrong? ♪ ♪ come on, come on, come on ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back. tonight, he has a new stand up comedy special called "live from brooklyn," jo koy is with us. then later, a rapper and singer from tampa, her new song is called "alter ego." doechii with jt from our outdoor stage tonight. [ cheers and applause ] next week, we've got new shows with a strong lineup of guests including sean penn, donald glover, maya erskine, draymond green, jesse plemons, lupita nyong'o, carrie-anne moss, june squibb
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and tiffany haddish, with music from lucky daye, tinashe and the avett brothers. our first guest is the biggest figure in the history of l.a. sports. he has five titles with the lakers, he co-owns the sparks, the lafc, and the los angeles dodgers, too. here on night one of the nba finals, the hall-of-famer, the legend, earvin "magic" johnson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> good to see you. >> jimmy: you look especially good tonight. i don't know what it is. >> i don't know, maybe it's some weight i dropped or something. >> jimmy: i see. the suit's good too? >> suit's very good. >> jimmy: everything's good in your life? >> everything's good. >> jimmy: what about these celtics? are you rooting -- i assume you're rooting for the mavericks just because you're rooting against the celtics? >> of course.
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i'm a laker. [ cheers and applause ] you know, i still have flashbacks with larry wearing the little hot pants we used to wear. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's right. also, it's historic because it's 17 and 17, right? 17 for the celtics, 17 for the lakers. >> we wanted to stay tied till we get 18. >> jimmy: that would be ideal, yes. >> it's going to be a great finals, though. >> jimmy: does larry even care about the celtics anymore or all pacers now? >> all pacers, he don't care about the celtics. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i knew he didn't care. >> live in indiana, works for the pacers. probably was upset when the pacers lost. >> jimmy: would you go so far as to say he dislikes the celtics now? >> i don't know if he dislikes them. >> jimmy: let's say he does. [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: we're going to start trouble. >> for laker fans, right? >> jimmy: there's a larry bird museum now in indiana. >> right. >> jimmy: were you invited to the opening? it opened last month. >> i was invited, and -- but i sent a video.
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>> jimmy: oh, you didn't go? >> no, i didn't go. >> jimmy: yeah. >> to congratulate him, of course. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> then i'm still waiting on mine. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: where is the magic johnson museum? [ cheers ] >> i don't know. maybe it will be in michigan or here in l.a. >> jimmy: or maybe two museums. you've got to have two. >> i like that, i like that. >> jimmy: one ahead of larry. >> yes, always. >> jimmy: do you have all your stuff on display anywhere? >> in my house. >> jimmy: in your house. >> yeah, i have a incredible sports room with all the five tiffany trophies that we won as a player. >> jimmy: wow. >> then i have all the ownership trophies that we won, the world series trophy from the dodgers, l.a. sparks trophy, and then we just won lafc, too, as well. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: would cookie like to get those out of the house? >> well, of course. you know, i had to make room because of all the shopping cookie does. i had to move some of the dresses and shoes out of the way so i could make room for my trophies. >> jimmy: maybe there needs to be a cookie museum also with dresses and shoes. >> it's already there.
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>> jimmy: you know, i have your shorts framed on the wall of my house. [ laughter ] and i was thinking maybe, and this is, you know, up to you. if you would like a pair of my shorts -- [ laughter ] i'd gladly have them framed for you to put in your wing. >> you know i got a behind back here. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it didn't seem like it from the shorts. you could only see the front of the shorts. >> i don't think i can fit in your shorts. >> jimmy: oh, you don't have to wear them. i just want you to put them on the wall. [ laughter ] >> got it. you going to sign them? >> jimmy: of course i will sign them. >> be worth some money then, right? >> jimmy: put a number on them and everything. >> i can't get into the shorts we used to wear. >> jimmy: have you tried? >> come on, man. [ laughter ] come on, now. them were super hotpants. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, they were. >> can you imagine trying to wear them shorts today? >> jimmy: never mind imagine, let's get those off my wall at my house. let me ask you about these wnba players. angel reese, caitlin clark, who many are saying are the larry bird and magic johnson of the
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wnba. do you like that when you hear that? >> i like it, and they are. >> jimmy: were you treated as roughly as they have been treated when you were a rookie? >> of course. >> jimmy: you were? >> of course. >> jimmy: cheap shots? >> veterans are going to test you, right? if they feel that you've got more money or more publicity, you know, they're upset about that. so when i came, my first training camp, first day of practice, ron boone. i was looking up to get the rebound. he came and hit me real hard behind my neck. >> jimmy: one of your own teammates? >> my own teammate. and he said, "take that, rookie." >> jimmy: oh. >> so i said, "okay." so i got up. and about three plays later, he was looking up to box me out. so i ran as fast as i could, and i hit him. bam! right behind his neck. >> jimmy: you did? >> really hard. >> jimmy: really? >> he fell to the floor. and i told him, i said, "don't forget, i'm tough, i'm rough, if
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you want to play like that, we can play like that." and you'll the laker players came running up to me, hugged me, said, "we like you." [ applause ] because i couldn't let him get away with that. >> jimmy: of course not. >> now caitlin, her teammates got to come to her defense. >> jimmy: sure. >> you can't allow her to have to fight every battle, right? >> jimmy: right. >> but we have to understand that both caitlin, angel, and brink, who plays for my sparks, they made the wnba better. and they're going to be tested by these incredible women who have been in the league for a long time. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> caitlin is the most popular wnba player, but she's not the best at this time. just like larry and i were not the best when we entered the league. >> jimmy: right. >> we became the best later on. by our play. caitlin still has to play great. >> jimmy: sure. >> to become the best wnba player. >> jimmy: you, after your rookie
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year, i think -- correct me if i have any of this wrong -- you got a 25-year, $25 million contract. which seemed like a crazy amount of money at the time. >> yes. >> jimmy: now it's like -- basically what you spend on lunch. [ laughter ] but it was a lot of money. and the other players, other lakers, were not happy about it, right? >> no, they were not happy. because that was more money than anybody had ever received at that time. >> jimmy: you'd think it would make them happy because they'd see there's potential for them to get more money? >> no, no, no. they didn't see it that way. even though it worked out like that. >> jimmy: right. >> right? see, players don't see the long-term. it's all about the short-term. so what larry and i did for the nba to this day, guys are capitalizing on. >> jimmy: sure, yeah, they are. >> right? so now they're making $50 million a year, okay? let me give caitlin some advice. >> jimmy: okay, go ahead, yeah. >> call larry bird. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, call larry bird.
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ask him for advice. >> jimmy: oh. >> you think about -- >> jimmy: why not call you? >> she can call me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh. what does he know? >> indiana, he's already there. >> jimmy: oh. i see. >> and i think he could give her great advice on how to handle this situation, because he went through it himself. so it would be a perfect situation. he already lived there, grew up in indiana, on and on and on. i think it would be great. >> jimmy: do you think a person with a moustache like that should be giving anyone advice about anything? [ laughter ] >> might have a point, you might have a point. >> jimmy: magic johnson is here with us. we'll be right back. psst! it's target circle week. sorry, it's what week? target circle week! what did she say? i think she said... circle. not following... what week? circle week! she's saying circle week.
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♪ ♪ i'm the magic man with the midas touch ♪ ♪ got to play the right way to keep moving up ♪ ♪ ♪ we don't need drugs to play ball ♪ ♪ dribble shoot slam dunk ♪ ♪ you can too without that junk ♪ ♪ just say no just say no to drugs ♪ ♪ just say yes just say yes to life ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: saying no to drugs. how did that happen? >> you always get me, man. >> jimmy: magic, i have heard -- we could go on for another 30 years, and we have a video every single time you come. >> i see that. oh, that was terrible. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how many of the guys were actually on drugs while
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shooting the "say no to drugs" video? [ laughter ] >> on that team, nobody. the teams before us, the laker teams, a lot. >> jimmy: you -- boy, this is a crazy thing. i was reading a story that said you invented the high five. >> that's right. >> jimmy: is that true? because i heard that dusty baker and glenn burke, the baseball players, had invented it. >> no, no. >> jimmy: that's not true? >> that's not true. >> jimmy: how did it happen? >> at michigan state, myself and greg kelser, he went in and i did an unbelievable no-look pass. he caught it, and he dunked it. so for us to point at each other first, and then he came running real fast, and just -- i threw my hand up, he came, high-fived me, then we started doing that all the time. >> jimmy: and at the time, did you know that was a different -- something different? >> something different, because everything was low at that time. >> jimmy: did you give it a name? did you call it the high five? >> no, you know brothers, we don't think that fast like that. [ laughter ]
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we just hit it real quick and keep it rolling, yeah. i got to get back on defense, by can't be thinking about a name for it. >> jimmy: i gotcha. [ laughter ] there was a time that you were supposed to play a one-on-one pay-per-view basketball game against michael jordan. >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: that fell apart, for whatever reason. people blamed isaiah thomas for it. squashing that deal somehow? >> not that deal. >> jimmy: he was the head of the players association or something? >> yeah, well you know -- we were talking about doing it. and it became, like -- i mean, unbelievable. people were very interested in it. >> jimmy: sure. >> right? and so people wanted to see it. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> and then all of a sudden -- they just put a stop to it. >> jimmy: you know, tyson is still fighting. i don't see why you guys couldn't still do that. [ applause ] it would be -- >> no, no. man, i'll be 65 in august. i'm not playing one-on-one basketball. [ applause ] >> jimmy: save it for your 100th birthday. >> yeah, for both of us, right?
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michael, you know -- the game i would have loved to have seen one-on-one is kobe versus michael. >> jimmy: kobe versus michael? >> yeah, that would have been awesome. >> jimmy: who would have won that? >> that would have been awesome. >> jimmy: don't you feel kobe -- how old are we talking about, kobe? >> that's the problem. the age thing. but both of them in their prime. that would have been something to see. >> jimmy: i'd still like to see you play. i really would enjoy that. >> i would enjoy that. [ applause ] you know, kobe idolized him so much. that would have been just fun to see them two, because they played so much alike. but you know, michael is michael. kobe was kobe. special. >> jimmy: absolutely. >> we still love him here in l.a., right, kobe? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very much so. the lakers are looking for a new coach. and it's -- >> again? >> jimmy: again. [ laughter ] i think -- yeah. i don't think they've had a coach for longer than three years since jackson, or
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something like that. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: the two guys -- one guy that really came on strong today, at least in the papers, was this guy, dan hurley, coaches at connecticut, college coach, never coached in the nba before. the other guys never coached at all before. a former nba player, j.j. redick. do you like these guys? >> i like hurley. i want the coach to be hurley. if we can sign him, i think it works for both. it works for coach hurley, who won back-to-back ncaa championships with connecticut. so he has a championship background. he's great with offense and defensive strategy. i think that the players would respect him. and he's tough. the lakers got to have somebody who will hold them accountable, right? and also, we got to play physical basketball. denver will always beat us unless we become a much more physical team. >> jimmy: okay. >> so we've got to get more physical. that's why these two teams are playing in the finals, boston
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and dallas. because they're mentally tough, and they're physically tough. we got to get both mentally and physically tough. >> jimmy: who do you think wins that series? >> oh, man. that -- boston has the most talent. but the hotter team right now is dallas. >> jimmy: the hotter team. sometimes the team with the most talent -- >> that's right, that's right. >> jimmy: one more thing. summer's here. it's right around the corner. every year, you go on these fabulous yachting vacations with sam jackson. every year i ask you, i ask sam, can i come on the trip? every single time you guys say, yes, you can come. never do i hear from you ever again. [ laughter ] but i was thinking that perhaps this could be a reminder. i've got you a gift. this is something we could wear on our trip together this summer. [ cheers and applause ] now, if you don't mind holding that up. can you imagine? us, you know on a jet ski together? buzzing around. portofino, you know? >> that's right, that's right, and your wife got to come as
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well. >> jimmy: if i have to leave her behind, i will. [ laughter ] >> i'm not going to touch that one. >> jimmy: okay. >> because you got to go home tonight. >> jimmy: yeah, no, no. what do you say, what do you think? >> let's do it, then. >> jimmy: you want it -- >> let's also get a company started so we can sell these. >> jimmy: yeah, sure, we'll sell them at your museum. [ applause ] magic johnson. you can get tickets to see the sparks, lafc, los angeles dodgers on their websites. sparks, lafc, los angeles dodgers on their websites. we'll be back with jo koy. (♪) (♪) (♪) (♪)
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jimmy kimmel made this app that tells you what nba legend you are. so it reads all your facial features and your stats, load it into the app -- >> hopefully i'm one of the greats like wilt, bill russell. i don't think it's going to work. and the player is two elephants [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] all right. now when i see elephants [ bleep ], i got to think of jimmy. you're using head and shoulders, right? only when i see flakes. then i switch back to my regular shampoo. you should use it every wash, otherwise the flakes will come back. tiny troy: he's right, you know. is that tiny troy? the ingredients in head and shoulders
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm good. >> jimmy: very good to see you. we're both from las vegas. you started -- you grew up in seattle. >> yes. >> jimmy: then moved to vegas when? >> i moved right after you left. >> jimmy: right after i left. >> you got there i think '71 to '89? >> jimmy: '76 to '87, yeah. >> i got there '89 until 2001. >> jimmy: to keep watch, we took shifts is really what happened. >> yeah. jimmy left, "i'm right there." >> jimmy: there needs to be a "jk" watching over the city at all times. [ laughter ] you rooted for what basketball team, the sonics? >> sonics and then the rebels. >> jimmy: then the rebels. yeah, those were the great college basketball years, yeah. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: you were there for all that. >> all of it. >> jimmy: where did you work?
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>> the gambling, all of it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you work on the strip and the whole deal? >> i worked at a dolphin habitat on the strip. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the mirage? >> yeah. we were the first ones to -- to capture dolphins and then put it inside of a casino. [ laughter ] i swear. they're like, gamble! then look at this! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait a minute, when i was a kid -- >> they're hot, they're sweating! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i was told those dolphins were visiting us, then we gave them a place to stay. that's not true? >> they were totally captured. >> jimmy: what did you do there? >> i was a tour guide. i knew nothing about dolphins. i was like, "i know nothing." they were like, "hey, neither do we." >> jimmy: people had follow-up questions, you had no answers? >> i had no answers, just making up. "they're all gray." they're like, "which one's banjo?" "that one right there, that's banjo." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how long did you do that job? >> i did it two years. >> jimmy: that's crazy. what a weird job. >> and i was still doing stand-up. i was doing coffee houses.
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>> jimmy: is it hard to break into stand-up comedy in a town like las vegas that is so -- always bursting at the seams with comedians? >> at that time there were no comedy clubs. they were always booking seven shows a week. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> you know what i mean? they had no open mics, they had nothing back then. >> jimmy: they had nothing, right? >> i rented out theaters. i rented out the huntridge theater. >> jimmy: that's a classic. i painted the inside of the huntridge theater as a kid. >> what? that is mind-blowing. >> jimmy: as a high school student. they wanted stripes painted on the wall, they wanted to pay $50. >> those stripes are still there and they go, "you should have met the kid who did it." [ laughter ] "this kid was horrible, jimmy." >> jimmy: they weren't good. they hired our art school class. we all went and spent the day painting stripes on the walls. >> that's when you were going by james. >> jimmy: no, i was still jimmy. that's right. wait a minute. so you would perform at -- that was a movie theater? >> yeah. i used to rent that out.
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and i would fly like jb smooth and michael jackson. i was on this thing called "the black college comedy tour." [ laughter ] i'm being serious! and i was on "the black college comedy tour." and the colleges would have black comedy nights. but they had -- it had to have diversity, and i was diversity. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you were the diversity. >> yeah, yeah. they're like, "okay, we got two black comics, do you have an asian guy? jo koy? do you have a white guy? jo koy. [ laughter ] do you have a mexican guy? you're not going to believe it, jo koy. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: you covered every area, that's great, that's night. then you did our show i think for the first time in 2006 you were here, right? >> yep. >> jimmy: you were a kid back then. >> so was my kid. my kid was a hid. he was 1, and he met you. >> jimmy: your son was here. >> he's 21 backstage. >> jimmy: he got older, that's good. [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. don't you hate it when you have kids and they get older, and wait, i'm older, stop getting old.
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>> jimmy: it's a little bit weird. >> too much now. >> jimmy: my parents have a child in their 50s. [ laughter ] it's upsetting. >> it's brutal. >> jimmy: what is your son interested in? >> by the way, magic johnson is 400 years old, and he still looks like magic johnson when he started. when he was playing for the lakers. >> jimmy: he looks a little better than then. [ applause ] >> i'm like -- right? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm sorry to interrupt you. >> jimmy: go ahead. >> i was backstage and he sat down and i'm like, did he just play? [ laughter ] it's like -- it's the same magic johnson face. >> jimmy: well, yeah. he's -- yeah, i mean -- he's literally magic. >> yeah, he really is magic. >> jimmy: he will be around for hundreds and hundreds of years. [ laughter ] >> he's not leaving. >> jimmy: your stand-up comedy special for netflix, how many specials have you done now? >> i did five for netflix and two -- actually, three on comedy central. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: netflix, you did -- >> "live from seattle." >> jimmy: seattle, right. >> "coming in hot" in hawaii.
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i went to the philippines and shot one in the philippines. and then -- aw, thank you. then i took it to brooklyn. >> jimmy: why brooklyn? >> brooklyn, where you at? it's like -- i played brooklyn, i was always in love with brooklyn. and i played it. one night on tour. and i remember walking off stage going, yeah, this is a whole different energy. and it's crazy, because i played madison square garden. i sold out madison square garden. i sold out radio city music hall. i swear, it didn't have the energy of brooklyn. >> jimmy: because it's brooklyn. >> it's brooklyn. it really is brooklyn. you'll see it. if you could watch it -- please watch it. [ cheers and applause ] it just hit number four today. >> jimmy: number four today, wow, congratulations. >> number four today. it's my favorite special. >> jimmy: will you do one in las vegas? maybe at the old huntridge theater? i mean, come on now. >> will you be there? >> jimmy: absolutely, are you kidding? i'll be there with my paintbrush. [ laughter ] >> that's so funny. >> jimmy: i'd love to decorate the place for you.
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>> jimmy: thanks to magic johnson and jo koy. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next, but first, here with the song "alter ego," with help from jt, doechii. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ that girl that trick it's that girl till the condom slip ♪ ♪ who the y'all girls think run this this miss she her black vagina ♪ ♪ designer say gucci prada print d-o-e i'm wakanda rich ♪ ♪ big doechii diva donda don da tokyo honda drift ♪ ♪ why they tweaking why they geeking [ muted ] popping don't you leave it doechii season ♪ ♪ new persona new vagina push back but i'm still gon' get that ♪ ♪ label quakin girls pissed they mistaken i'm that wrist stay frozen cue the trojans lets go ima get get get ♪ ♪ nah nah nah nah nah these ain't fazing me fazing me ♪
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♪ nah nah nah nah nah boom boom you dead to me dead to me ♪ ♪ alter ego i want you to sing it alter ego let's go ♪ ♪ nah nah nah nah nah these ain't fazing me fazing me ♪ ♪ nah nah nah nah nah boom boom you dead to me dead to me ♪ sing it! ♪ alter ego alter ego ♪ >> ladies and gentlemen, jt! ♪ unfazed unbothered unwitable why bother i'm that i'm that i'm that and you ain't on ♪ ♪ imma get money type ah if you aint gettin' money don't type me ♪ ♪ crocodile birkin might bite a can't hang with ah if i don't like ♪ ♪ tha these and these i come through and it be crickets ♪ ♪ i come through and moods be switchin i'm the problem i'm the villain ♪ ♪ i don't see these in these rick shields throwin' dirt on my name and he gone hit still ♪ ♪ know who to play wit and these know who to pay wit ♪ ♪ nah nah nah nah nah these ain't fazing me fazing me ♪
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♪ nah nah nah nah nah boom boom you dead to me dead to me ♪ ♪ alter ego take me on alter ego out to the audience you ain't shy move your hips move your hips ♪ ♪ nah nah nah nah nah boom boom you dead to me dead to me ♪ ♪ alter ego dead to me alter ego dead to me ♪ move your hips move your hips! ♪ nah nah nah nah nah boom boom you dead to me dead to me ♪ ♪ alter ego dead to me alter ego dead to me ♪ now sometimes the world can try to make us feel as if we have to hide behind our alter egos. but this song, let this song be a reminder that the most powerful thing you can do is be yourself. clap your hands! clap! ♪ ♪ just my ego ♪ now step, step, step. ♪ that's just my ego ♪ jimmy kimmel! ♪ alter ego alter ego ♪
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