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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 12, 2024 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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it's available for apple tv, google tv, amazon fire tv and roku. download the app now and start streaming. that's our report for sandhya patel, larry beil, all of us here. i'm dan ashley. we appreciate >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live" with guest host jiminy glick. tonight -- melissa mccarthy. nick kroll. and music from the warning. with cleto and the cletones.
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and now, jiminy glick! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jiminy: how wonderful! wonderful! applaud yourselves! look at that, look at the band. oh! [ cheers and applause ] shut up! thank you! hello and welcome to "jiminy kimmel live." [ laughter ] ha ha ha! i'm your host jiminy glick. and let me just start -- [ cheers and applause ] thank you. this is amazing. let me just start by saying how excited i am to be host of a show i love so much. although i've never seen it. [ laughter ] but word gets back from those who have that it's wonderful. filled with edge. speaking of edge, look who's
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here, guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] guillermo, such an exotic look. you're like a cross between burt reynolds and a pikachu. [ laughter ] is it true that jimmy found you floating down a river in a basket? >> guillermo: no. >> jiminy: we have a good show, we have a wonderful show. not as good as we had hoped. not bad, but not great. because just an hour ago, my superstar celebrity guest canceled. so, for those of you who came to los angeles to see my dear friend, guy fieri, i'm sorry. [ laughter ] but i did find two last-minute replacements. their names are melissa mccarthy and nick kroll. [ cheers and applause ] ha ha ha! i know. i know, i'm devastated too. but we'll have to just do it, we're stuck. one thing i've learned in all my years in hollywood, is the show must go on. [ cheers and applause ]
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and the other thing i've learned is that if you try and take the keys away from a slightly inebriated andy dick, he'll bite you on the knuckles! [ laughter ] he really will. all right, let's get ready to hear some hot goss from tinseltown. who wants to hear hot goss? hot goss, everyone. it's time for "hollywood headlines." [ cheers and applause ] we'll start with news of one of hollywood's heaviest hitters. "fresh prince of bel air" star will smith is set to perform a new song at the b.e.t. awards this weekend. you know, my very first television appearance was a red carpet correspondent at the b.e.t. awards. i had a discussion with the wonderful and often misunderstood busta rhymes -- [ laughter ] about his world-famous lemon meringue pie. he's 7 a spirit. [ laughter ] and i just love the b.e.t.s! in fact, i have type two
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dia-b.e.ts! [ rimshot ] [ applause ] next up, tom hanks is reuniting with director robert zemeckis for their fifth film together. zemeckis directed hanks in "forrest gump," which i believe is the only movie about vietnam to be turned into a chain of whimsical shrimp restaurants. [ laughter ] by the way, i once had a three-legged shih tzu named "lieutenant dan." [ laughter ] i'll just throw that in -- things come to me, and i throw them in. should we do one more? ha ha ha! [ cheers and applause ] another on-screen duo is getting back together. lindsay lohan and jamie lee curtis are now shooting "freaky friday 2." the freakiest friday i ever had was a shabbat dinner on epstein island. [ laughter ] that was a weekend from hell. i'm not going to go into that. and those were the "hollywood headlines!" [ cheers and applause ] of course, of course, of course, of course, of course -- the top
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story tonight was the presidential debate between donald trump and joe biden. the moderators were cnn's jake tapper and dana bash. doesn't that sound like an old cop show from the '80s? [ laughter ] "tapper and bash." freeze! [ laughter ] but you know who would have made an even better moderator? me! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i've worked with many presidents. oh my gosh, that is so true. that is so true, what i just said to you. i've worked with so many presidents over the years. in fact, my very first job was as a young speechwriter for president nixon. [ laughter ] there we are with elvis. and they said i would be the one to die on the toilet. it's so unfair. [ laughter ] i'm also dear friends with george w. bush who calls me his muse. [ laughter ] and i even got to know our favorite president, donald jumanji trump. [ laughter ] what a guy.
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he's a spirit with an attitude. and i like that. and maybe that isn't a popular thing to say here in holly-weird, especially when you're hosting "the jimmy kimmel show," but it's true. jimmy's always so negative about mr. trump. and that makes me so mad and so sad. this man was our president, hello! [ laughter ] he's about to be our president again, and maybe he's still our president, i don't know. i don't know, i'm just sharing what i saw on my crystal healer's facebook page. [ laughter ] but jeff, why does jimmy kimmel have to be so one-sided? why not talk about the issues that really matter? like hillary's emails. benghazi. deep-state pizzagate. and where is hunter? i'll tell you where! having a threesome with antifa and taylor swift. [ laughter ] jimmy's always punching down at mr. trump. but tonight, i want to lift him up -- with a musical salute to a man whose only crime is trying to make america great again. again. [ laughter ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ cranky doodle went to town to call the news a phony ♪ ♪ stuck white letters on red hats and called it maga-roni ♪ ♪ cranky doodle you're so tan cranky doodle dandy ♪ ♪ stop the steal and lock her up ♪ ♪ and with the girls be handsy ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ ♪ cranky doodle won't concede ♪ ♪ 'cause they rigged the election ♪ ♪ so they stormed the capitol 'twas hardly insurrection ♪ ♪ cranky doodle you're so smart ♪ ♪ windmills do cause cancer ♪ ♪ you're a stable genius and a very sexy dancer ♪ [ laughter and applause ] ♪ ♪ cranky doodle went to court ♪ ♪ to fight a crooked system ♪ ♪ is it really donald's fault ♪ ♪ that stormy can't resist him ♪ ♪ cranky doodle drained the swamp ♪
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♪ got rid of all the leakers ♪ ♪ built a mighty border wall ♪ ♪ in glitzy golden sneakers ♪ ♪ [ applause ] ♪ cranky doodle make us great be the one who frees us ♪ ♪ you're our bigly burger king ♪ ♪ our sweet orange baby jesus ♪ ♪ cranky doodle has our vote ♪ ♪ by your side we're standin' ♪ ♪ go and take the white house back ♪ ♪ and we'll shout let's go brandon ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ go and take the white house back ♪ ♪ and we'll shout let's go brandon ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jiminy: we'll be right back with melissa mccarthy!
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let's review. okay. we're not gonna talk about traffic or weather. if anyone brings up lawn care, i will handle it. hosting can be extremely difficult for young homeowners turning into their parents. oh, are you done with this? i'll just take that. okay, he's still drinking. right. oh, look what the cat dr-- no, no. let's try again, if you wouldn't mind. it gets ugly. you can either take it off or i'll take it off you. yeah. progressive can't protect you from becoming your parents, but we can protect your home and auto when you bundle with us. but you love to take it. she doesn't want it. to help protect from hiv, i prep without pills. with apretude, a prescription medicine used to reduce the risk of hiv without daily prep pills. with one shot every other month, just 6 times a year. in studies, apretude was proven superior to a daily prep pill in reducing the risk of hiv. you must be hiv negative, to receive apretude and get tested before each injection. if you think you were exposed to hiv or have flu-like symptoms,
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jiminy: ha ha ha ha! applaud yourselves! you're the wonderful ones! you're the wonderful ones! welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live."
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i'm jiminy glick. [ laughter ] tonight, a man my sources tell me is a talented comedian who voices cartoons to pay off his gambling debts -- [ laughter ] from something called "big mouth," nick kroll is with us. [ cheers and applause ] ha ha! and then later, later, a band from guillermo's native meh-hee-co, their album comes out tomorrow, and it's named after what i always tell the staff at krispy kreme -- "keep me fed." ha ha ha ha! [ cheers and applause ] music from the warning! all right. our first guest is a two-time emmy award0-winner and self-proclaimed movie star who next brings her talents to "only murders in the building." season four premieres august 27th on hulu. please welcome the wonderful melissa mccarthy. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jiminy: ha ha ha! >> well. >> jiminy: this is so exciting. >> it's exciting. >> jiminy: i love seeing you again. >> do you? [ laughter ] do you? >> jiminy: we're not going to just go there, are we? >> well, we didn't. back in the day. why would we now? [ laughter ] >> jiminy: what is your story? let's hear your version of what you think happened, missy? >> i think i was new to town. i think i needed a good review. i made some bad choices. i'm not proud of it. [ laughter ] >> jiminy: it was 1:00 in the morning when you came a-knocking. [ laughter ]
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>> well, i -- i just thought you needed clean towels. [ laughter ] >> jiminy: afterwards, i did. [ laughter ] >> it was all -- [ applause ] [ cheers and applause ] it was something -- are you familiar with silken tofu? [ laughter ] the consistency where you can't think it's solid, but it almost seems like your fingers can go right through it. [ laughter ] and i've never had tofu since. [ laughter ] true story. >> jiminy: i tell you, something went through something. because i have seen photos, miss, photo of your eldest son, trenton. can we see trenton and tell me if he doesn't look like -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> i don't see it. >> jiminy: yes. >> i personally just look at that and i see -- >> jiminy: a sexy, macho richard greco. [ laughter ] >> but anyway --
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>> jiminy: i'm thrilled that you're here. you look so pretty. >> thank you. >> jiminy: i just -- i'm grabbing to -- >> no. [ laughter ] >> jiminy: i want to adjust the knobs and see if the picture can get better, that's all. [ audience moaning ] you are an absolute gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous girl. >> how have you not been just sued? [ laughter ] >> jiminy: sued? >> i can almost smell the lawsuit. >> jiminy: oh my god, and this coming from a flat earther right here. [ laughter ] >> it's got to end somewhere. [ laughter ] >> jiminy: it's been a strange journey for you, hasn't it? >> well -- a little bit here and there. >> jiminy: i mean, you want to be on the top. you're always in the middle. [ laughter ] how does that make you feel? >> above you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jiminy: ha ha ha ha! she's confident, this lady's confident, you can't put her down. trust me, i tried that night. [ laughter ] now, it was very interesting, though. because you've had this fabulous career. >> oh.
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>> jiminy: and you were nominated for an oscar, for i think for the first time -- i think -- no, it was also helen hayes early on. it was bette davis and you who defecated in the sink. [ laughter ] -- as most of the classics -- that's the storyline in all the classes, usually. >> jiminy: now you're -- oh my god, you're -- you're on broadway! what are you doing on broadway? >> i'm not actually on it. but i invested in a show -- >> jiminy: you invested. >> called "suffs" for the suffragists. >> jiminy: i don't care what the critics call it. if they say it sucks, it sucks. [ laughter ] >> s-u-f-f-s. >> jiminy: i hear hillary clinton's in it. >> she's not in it. [ laughter ] >> jiminy: she's doing wardrobe? >> yes, she hems. she does tailoring. >> jiminy: what does she do? >> she's one of the producers. she's an investor in it. >> jiminy: what's she like? >> she's really vivacious. >> jiminy: she's vivacious. >> she is. >> jiminy: god, i don't know what that word means. [ laughter ] >> bubbly.
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i thought she would be more serious, and she's really funny and kind of bubbly. she was really fun. i was so nervous to meet her. >> jiminy: it's a big hit, i hear, a big hit on broadway. >> it's incredible. it's funny, it's heart-breaking, it's -- >> jiminy: is it as much fun as "the wiz"? [ laughter ] "the wiz" is fun. "the wiz" is based on what if the witches knew each other early on? and before you know it -- >> that's not "the wiz." >> jiminy: shh, i'm talking. [ laughter ] suddenly, one has green face and she's very bitter. "the wiz" we're talking about. >> i thought they were talking about -- oh. >> jiminy: oh. >> oh. >> jiminy: suddenly it's fine to attack me? >> i think so. >> jiminy: i guess because women's lib has changed everything, hasn't it? >> also, you're just very attackable. [ laughter ] >> jiminy: oh, i know. i remember that night when you delivered the towels, trust me. [ cheers and applause ]
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but i will tell you truthfully. >> yes? >> jiminy: i know we have a history. and i know that we have a sexual -- we did the deed one night. [ laughter ] i'll tell you, you still take my breath away. my wife, dixie, will take my breath away. that's because she rolls over sometimes and sleeps on the sleep apnea cord, that's different. [ laughter ] that's totally different. that's a different kind of takes your breath away. >> or is she rolling over or kind of holding it? [ laughter ] holding it there? >> jiminy: it's very quickly. what is your no tipping policy? [ laughter ] >> i do tip. >> jiminy: you do tip. >> i was a waitress forever, so i think i'm a generous tipper -- >> jiminy: i think you remember i tip. [ laughter ] >> i couldn't feel it, so i'm not sure. [ laughter and applause ] i thought it might have been inverted, but i couldn't -- [ laughter ] i couldn't get a visual. >> jiminy: hey, what was it like
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working on "only murders in the building"? >> almost everybody was great. [ laughter ] [ applause ] there was one, you know -- you hear things about, canadians are so nice, canadians are so nice. [ laughter ] >> jiminy: oh. well. >> i don't know if it's true. i got a real squirrelly feeling. >> jiminy: i want to go back to your past. i want to go back to your journey. i want to hear about the journey, the journey, the journey. [ laughter ] [ rim shot ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jiminy: finished! god, that was good. [ laughter ] longer than normal, but good, yes. >> longer than last time. [ laughter ] >> jiminy: whoo. let me ask you something. how strange was it to be adopted? >> uh -- [ laughter ]
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it's strange to find out now. [ laughter ] >> jiminy: yes, i know. i wasn't sure whether to tell you backstage -- >> i didn't know. >> jiminy: you didn't know? >> think my mom and dad are my mom and dad. >> jiminy: no, no, they've distanced themselves already. [ laughter ] well, let me see. now, this is interesting. why did god give men nipples if we're not supposed to breast feed our pets? [ laughter ] >> it's -- that's the best question you've ever asked. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jiminy: because i have -- >> yes. >> jiminy: my dog, regulina, she cannot lactate. i taught her -- >> are you trying to? >> jiminy: i taught her how to hump my leg in the missionary position. [ laughter ] which is unusual for a dog. but then, i naturally lactate. >> oh, i -- yes. >> jiminy: and i've kept those puppies alive. now, is that against the lord? is that against your jesus? >> my personal jesus? [ laughter ]
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>> jiminy: yes. >> do i have to watch it when it's happening? [ laughter ] >> jiminy: i think it's an act of bravery, to keep three little puppies alive on two breasts. >> or three. >> jiminy: okay. i've been outed, so to speak. well, let's see. what was going through your head the day you were born? [ laughter ] what were you thinking of? >> um -- probably where the hell am i? it's pretty bright. also, my nose was smashed against my face. >> jiminy: it was? >> it really was. >> jiminy: do you think it's going to come back? [ laughter ] >> oh. >> jiminy: oh. >> oh, are we doing that. >> jiminy: well, i don't see any faults, but go ahead. [ laughter ] >> i think -- [ laughter ] nope. nothing. nothing. [ laughter ] >> jiminy: should we turn -- oh, this is interesting. >> yes. >> jiminy: i think it's -- i don't want to get political with you. >> okay.
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>> jiminy: but should we turn -- you know, there's empty red lobsters. should we turn them into internment camps for albanians? [ laughter ] >> wow. that's specific. um -- probably not? probably not? >> jiminy: interesting. pop quiz. do we put breath mints in the wrong end? [ laughter ] >> you do. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i would say -- i would say, treat yourself. anywhere the hole is, pop them in. >> jiminy: pop them in. >> go here, go here. there. you can't get enough peppermint in you. [ laughter ] >> jiminy: i'll tell you what i can't get enough of. >> oh. >> jiminy: you! [ laughter and applause ] we'll be back with melissa mccarthy! more on melissa mccarthy! [ navigation ] stay straight for the next 200 miles.
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♪ >> jiminy: ruff-ruff-ruff! i love the ladies. i love this lady. >> do you? >> jiminy: but first -- yes, i do, dear. >> okay. >> jiminy: anyway, our next guest does a lot of voices on a show called "big mouth." some would say too many voices. but i guess you'll be the judge. please welcome nick kroll. [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jiminy: this is what you call a proud bi gentleman. [ laughter ] hello, nick kroll. >> hi. >> jiminy: how are you? >> i'm really good, jiminy, it's great to see you. >> jiminy: it's good to see you. you know, i don't know a great deal about you. >> uh-huh? >> jiminy: because i usually watch things and i don't just listen. you do a lot of voice work, don't you? >> uh-huh. >> jiminy: because animation is your friend? >> yes, it's been good to me. >> jiminy: hollywood feels, we'll hire him as long as we don't have to look at him. ha ha ha! ha ha ha! i'm kidding, you're a handsome, handsome -- do you know, you look like an older -- >> you didn't finish the sentence. [ laughter ] >> jiminy: well, i think the
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audience has finished it for me. [ laughter ] i know, you're a beautiful man. you look like an older jewish olivia rodrigo. [ laughter ] you must get that a lot. >> i do get that, i take it as a real compliment, thank you. >> jiminy: it's a real compliment to you. tell me about your journey. tell me about your life. >> okay. >> jiminy: where's the nick kroll from? also what he's done and why are you here? [ laughter ] >> you want this all in a very condensed, short -- okay. >> jiminy: well, i have a flight tomorrow, and i'm not that riveted right yet. [ laughter ] >> yes, okay. let's see if we can get there. i'm from new york, westchester county, outside of new york. >> jiminy: wonderful, wonderful. >> and -- so you're in, you're in, i can tell. >> jiminy: no. you mentioned rye. rye and ginger, that's my favorite drink. >> how many drinks do you have a day? >> jiminy: i have about four, and then it's breakfast. [ laughter ] and i get started. i get started early. >> good for you. >> jiminy: i might have to. i'm just getting in, for god's sake. i love to do the clubs at night. >> you run all night?
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>> jiminy: i do the clubs. my favorite is still the limelight. >> you still go to the limelight? >> jiminy: still go to the limelight, isn't that wonderful? >> it's a wonderful place. >> jiminy: so you do the show "big mouth." what's "big mouth" about? >> "big mouth" is about -- "big mouth" is about -- i'm sorry, "big mouth" is about -- sorry, go ahead. "big mouth" is about my puberty. >> jiminy: your puberty. >> yes. >> jiminy: puberty. >> yes, my puberty. >> jiminy: my god. [ laughter ] wow. i've been through puberty three different times. [ laughter ] when i was 8. you know, i got my thing. then when i was 14, i grew this luxurious moustache. and the third time i went through puberty was this morning. [ laughter ] >> really? >> jiminy: it's been a long journey. i remember telling my children -- morgan, mason, matthew, and modine -- i told them the facts of life. and i said, "you know, it's very difficult to explain it except that when the male papa boy goes
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up to the lady, and he sniffs her, he sniffs her, he sniffs her like -- and he says, oh, that's cheap shalamar, i know that." [ laughter ] then there's a writhing and a moaning and a groaning, and that's just getting the pants off. [ laughter ] you two know each other? >> we do. >> we do. >> jiminy: oh oh, rrrrr! this is a loosey lucille over here. you've had them all. >> we had a weird first meeting. >> we did. >> which is not something i normally do, i swear. we met in boston. >> i was doing shows in boston, you were shooting "ghostbusters." we went out, a group of us went out, we got very drunk. >> we were like fully dancing in this restaurant. and i was like, doesn't this place ever close? and they're like, "it closed four hours ago." [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jiminy: oh, i'm sorry. is that story over? that was a good one. that was a good story. >> wow.
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>> jiminy: and you got drunk, huh, what an ending. [ laughter ] >> [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] >> jiminy: i'd save that for later. did you ever resolve your -- >> what? >> jiminy: did you ever -- >> huh? >> jiminy: there you go. three's the charm. there you go. >> they'll be like, "and then nick died." and it wasn't that funny. >> jiminy: are you still having that big feud with suge knight? [ laughter ] you are? he hung you out the window, hung you out to dry. that's wonderful. >> you're so -- [ laughter and applause ] >> jiminy: wow. >> that's -- >> jiminy: it's unbelievable. [ laughter ]
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oh my -- no, sure. there you go. there you go. [ laughter ] now -- here's the question i want to ask both of you. where were you when "the queen latifah show" was canceled? [ laughter ] >> i know -- i know right where i was. >> jiminy: i can't hear every word. >> i was in -- i was in queen's trailer. >> on the day? >> on the day. i told queen latifah that her show was canceled. [ laughter ] >> jiminy: what right did you have to tell her? >> none. i walked in off the street. she said, "all right, it's over," and she walked off. i had no authority. [ laughter ] >> jiminy: well, that's the strangest story. i've heard so many strange stories in show business. >> i know. >> jiminy: yeah. >> i know. >> jiminy: but that -- that food can't be good for you. [ laughter ] >> it's what you eat. what is your --
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>> jiminy: oh my god, my health. i worry about my health. my arteries are stiffer than kristi noem's dog. [ laughter ] i'm telling you right now. i need a good flushing out. >> yeah? have you ever done an enema? have you ever done a full colonic? >> jiminy: i'm doing one right now. [ laughter ] i hoped no one would mention it. it was kind of my secret. [ laughter ] >> yeah. the bag is poorly hidden. >> jiminy: i disagree. i disagree. are you still boycotting bud light? >> yes. only because -- >> jiminy: you're still eating. >> i'm eating these -- you can't tell how -- you can see up close. >> i can see it. >> when i picture what his -- what his -- >> intestines? >> yeah, or -- yeah, what his ejaculate -- [ laughter ] >> it's just like this. >> why does it come out like this? >> jiminy: there you go.
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>> thank you, thank you. >> jiminy: my what? >> your ejaculate. [ laughter ] when your ejaculate comes out -- i understood it comes out looking like jujube pellets. [ laughter ] >> jiminy: perfectly formed too. perfectly formed. joined by attitude. [ laughter ] so you just did "who wants to be a millionaire?" >> yes. >> jiminy: what was that like? >> it was great. i was playing for a charity. it's a celebrity "who wants to be a millionaire?" we played for charity. i played for -- >> jiminy: blah, blah, blah, blah. on to the next one. >> do you have any charities you work with regularly? >> jiminy: none. none at all. [ laughter ] to me there's something wrong about giving money to the poor. [ laughter ] and also, if we -- >> what part of -- >> jiminy: if we didn't have poor people, how would you ever get people to do crowd scenes? [ laughter ] >> wow. >> jiminy: suddenly i'm wrong. suddenly i'm wrong. >> yeah. >> jiminy: i don't think so. [ laughter ] you said you're a huge fan of woody allen but not of his work, what does that mean?
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[ laughter ] >> his personal choices. the way he's lived his life. the personal choices he's made. >> jiminy: yes. and you're very proud to admit that. >> i am. >> jiminy: i love your bravery. i like this man. i love this man. >> yeah. thank you. >> jiminy: i love this man. i do love this man. i do love this man. i love this man. if you had to choose, which disney princess would you be? >> oh, jasmine. >> jiminy: jasmine? there's a bit of jasmine to you. >> thank you. >> jiminy: now this lady made a hit disney film, "the little mermaid" right here. >> i did. [ cheers and applause ] did you see that one? >> jiminy: i just don't see anything. i don't see anything because i'm so busy, because i've got a full career. i'm writing books. i'm posing -- i'm still posing. >> art, for artists? >> jiminy: this thing. i'm trying to bring back "playgirl." and it's not working. >> can i tell you my take on trump?
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>> jiminy: yes, i want to hear, because i think he's misunderstood. >> yeah. i don't know if i trust him. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> jiminy: but based -- but based on what? [ laughter ] >> his record, mainly. >> jiminy: he made a record? >> he made a record. >> jiminy: a vinyl, he's made a vinyl? he's done everything. >> with all the -- >> jiminy: how the hell am i going to get up? [ laughter ] help me up, won't you? >> of course. here we go. here we go. okay. okay. okay. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> jiminy: there we go. there we go. and i'm up. and i'm up. [ rim shot ] >> jiminy: oh there we go. look at this. look at me, i've never seen bigger lips. [ laughter ]
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all right, you know, we'll be back. we're going to play a game. we're going to do a game. we've got melissa, nick, and we're playing a silly talk show game, how much fun is that? [ cheers and applause ] i told myself i was ok with my moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis symptoms. with my psoriatic arthritis symptoms. but just ok isn't ok. and i was done settling. if you still have symptoms after a tnf blocker like humira or enbrel, rinvoq is different and may help. rinvoq is a once-daily pill that can rapidly relieve joint pain, stiffness, and swelling in ra and psa. relieve fatigue for some and stop joint damage. and in psa, can leave skin clear or almost clear. rinvoq can lower your ability to fight infections, including tb. serious infections and blood clots, some fatal; cancers, including lymphoma and skin; heart attack, stroke, and gi tears occurred.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jiminy: are you having fun? it's nick, it's nick, yeah. >> it's nick.
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>> jiminy: so welcome back. my guests are running on fumes, obviously. so it's time to shake things up. although i like jimmy -- what's his name? you know who i really enjoy, jimmy fallon. [ laughter ] he's the one. he's the one that excites me. >> sure. >> jiminy: kimmel, sure. [ laughter ] if you have problems and you've seen -- it's a rerun, you'll see kimmel. [ laughter ] when there's a new fallon on, you go there. because he's such a ball of energy. i love jimmy fallon. he plays all those fun party games with his guests. [ laughter ] melissa and nicholas, are you up for a party game? >> i am. >> jiminy: that was rhetorical. try to keep up, dear. [ laughter ] in honor of tonight's debate, we're going to play "presidential blind charades!" [ cheers and applause ] >> i know how that works. >> jiminy: here's how it works. using my thespian skills, i am going to act out a clue. and nick has to guess what that clue is. but he'll be wearing a blindfold. so he won't be able to see what
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i'm doing. that's where melissa comes in. what she then does is she describes to nick every one of my movements. you know, so he has to make an educated guess, but he's blindfolded. [ laughter ] isn't that fun what i just said? >> yeah. >> jiminy: didn't understand it. >> absolutely. >> jiminy: first of all, put the blindfold on him and come in here. >> oh, guillermo's going to put it on? >> jiminy: no, no, you put it on, dear. this is not tricky, honest to god. it's like dealing with someone who's had a head injury. [ laughter ] yes, go ahead. >> okay. >> jiminy: wonderful, wonderful. okay. now, so do you understand what's going to happen now? i'm going to do it, and you're going to describe to him. >> okay. >> jiminy: even though i can't say any words because it's blind charades. >> it's for the best. [ laughter ] >> jiminy: and -- action! >> movie. oh -- i was supposed to describe it, not say it. he's operating something that you put film into --
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>> okay, it's a movie. [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jiminy: all right. >> one -- first word. >> yeah? >> shaking his finger. >> jiminy: no! >> shaking one finger. >> jiminy: god, your ignorance is crushing me. [ laughter ] >> it's a movie. >> stop swearing at me. >> stop -- yeah. >> putting three of his little sausage fingers on his jacket. [ laughter ] >> so three words. three words. one -- three words. >> three words. >> jiminy: three syllables! >> three syllables. >> jiminy: okay. first syllable. okay. >> shaking a finger. >> he's -- he's -- so it looks like he's pulling a needle and thread through something. he's pointing at his neck. >> pulling on his neck. >> pointing at his necktie. >> okay. >> he had a stroke. [ laughter ] okay. "diff'rent strokes." >> still wait -- pointing two fingers on his forearm. >> that's two syllables. >> jiminy: okay.
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second syllable. okay. >> who's talking? i think only melissa's supposed to be talking. >> jiminy: look, look -- >> he's dying. >> he's lying down. >> i can feel him lying down. dead. >> jiminy: oh, the sun's so hot. [ laughter ] i hope i don't get burned. i hope i don't get -- >> he's still talking. he's laying -- >> "burn after reading." >> jiminy: i don't want to get a tan. >> he's been beached. >> "beaches." the movie "beaches." >> jiminy: i'm not going to say any -- >> so many words. he was laying on the -- >> lying on the ground like a -- >> jiminy: i was getting a tan. >> okay. he was getting a tan. [ laughter ] >> you're just talking. now he's sewing up his mouth. >> sewing up his mouth. >> jiminy: third syllable. >> three again. a lot of threes. >> all of that was the first two syllables? okay. [ laughter ] >> he's shaking his torso. >> jiminy: the third one. >> tan -- hardly wait -- tan -- >> shaking a fist. >> he's angry. >> he's sweating. >> he's -- yeah? >> jiminy: click click click! >> tiktok, a clock?
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clock time? >> he's karate chopping. >> stab it. >> jiminy: put it all together, idiots! [ laughter ] okay, let's go back. >> "karate kid." >> jiminy: we're going to go through the whole thing. >> okay. >> jiminy: by the way, you've been really helpful. [ laughter ] >> i -- okay. >> jiminy: it's like having a stick shift on a lexar or something. [ laughter ] ready? >> yes. >> jiminy: let's recap. recap. >> quiet. >> jiminy: recap. come on. the music for recap. >> we're in a recap. >> he's doing his tie. >> doing his tie. >> tie. >> uh-huh? >> he's a beached whale. >> okay, like a -- >> jiminy: i hope i don't get a sunburn. >> he doesn't want to get burned. >> i want to get something else. >> he wanted to get tanned. >> jiminy: yes! >> titan -- "titanic." >> jiminy: yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> oh my gosh. >> jiminy: how wonderful. just wonderful.
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all right. >> i mean -- yeah. >> well, okay. and by -- here's the point of the game. >> yes, what is it? >> jiminy: because it's president. who was the president of the united states when "titanic" came out? >> when "titanic" came out? >> jiminy: yes. >> i think clinton. >> jiminy: yes! [ cheers and applause ] all right. well, thanks to missy mccarthy and nikolai kroll. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with music from the warning! >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by tequila don julio's summer of mexicana. ♪ ♪ have you always had trouble losing weight and keeping it off? same. discover the power of wegovy®. ♪ ♪ with wegovy®, i lost 35 pounds. and some lost over 46 pounds. ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jiminy: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by tequila don julio's summer of mexicana. >> jiminy: their tour starts september 13th in boston. here to celebrate don julio's summer of mexicana, playing the song "sick" from their album "keep me fed," the warning! [ cheers and applause ]
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ha ha ha! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ help me now 'cause i only debase ♪ ♪ when i see the problem staring straight at my face ♪ ♪ i wanna kiss it, lick it make it my own ♪ ♪ wanna taint the color 'til it's faded and gone ♪ ♪ bleeding just to feel alive i'm rotting in my place ♪ ♪ life is nothing more than passing time ♪ ♪
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♪ give me violence kill the silence ♪ ♪ 'til it makes me feel til it makes me feel ♪ ♪ 'til it makes me feel sick ♪ ♪ ♪ i wanna make mistakes and live in regret ♪ ♪ don't wanna give just take get out of my head ♪ ♪ and if i break it, fake it don't care what comes next ♪ ♪ if there's a price to pay i'll deal with it when i'm dead ♪ ♪ breathing just to live a lie i'm rotting in my place ♪ ♪ sick and tired of always wasting time ♪ ♪ give me violence kill the silence ♪ ♪ 'til it makes me feel til it makes me feel ♪ ♪ 'til it makes me feel sick ♪ ♪ leave me ruined show me that i'm human ♪
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♪ 'til it makes me feel til it makes me feel ♪ ♪ 'til it makes me feel sick ♪ ♪ ♪ ah i'm rotting in my place ♪ ♪ ah i'm rotting in place ♪ ♪ i'm rotting in place i'm begging you ♪ ♪ give me violence kill the silence ♪ ♪ give me violence kill the silence ♪ ♪ 'til it makes me feel til it makes me feel ♪ ♪ 'til it makes me feel sick ♪ ♪ leave me ruined show me that i'm human ♪ ♪ 'til it makes me feel til it makes me feel ♪ ♪ 'til it makes me feel sick
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sick ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jiminy: what a wonderful night it has been! i want to thank -- melissa mccarthy, nick kroll, and the warning. "nightline" is next. thank you for watching. good night, america! ha ha ha! ♪ this is "nightline." >> byron: tonight, alec baldwin

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