Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 29, 2024 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

11:35 pm
apple tv, google tv, amazon fire tv and roku. roku. download the app now so you can start streaming. thanks for watching. i'm amanda and i'm dan >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! with guest host martin short! tonight -- jane lynch. and jelly roll. with cleto and the cletones.
11:36 pm
and now, martin short! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> martin: thank you! thank you! [ cheers and applause ] stop loving me! [ laughter ] stop loving me. thank you, thank you, and welcome to "jimmy kimmel live." i'm your guest host, martin short. [ cheers and applause ] and i know what you're all thinking. martin short is way too famous to be doing this. [ laughter ] and i am. so good night, everybody! [ cheers ] no, i got such rave reviews from
11:37 pm
last night's show, i can't stop now. isn't that right? i'm sorry, what was your name again? >> guillermo: guillermo. [ laughter ] >> martin: exactly. this is my second night here, and i have to say, it's even harder than jimmy makes it look. [ laughter ] ever since i agreed to host the show, i've been trying to get covid. [ laughter ] but i didn't, so here i am. achoo! mom? can you believe, truthfully that covid is still a thing? covid is one of those words we all hoped we'd never hear again. like scaramucci and mclemore. [ laughter ] we have so much to get to here starting with the heartbreaking news that everyone is talking about -- hooters yesterday announced they are closing dozens of their underperforming locations. [ moans ] yeah, i know.
11:38 pm
why is it that an underperforming hooters is sad, but an overperforming hooters is a brothel? [ laughter ] i don't understand. this is a tough one for me on a personal level. the hooters in long beach is where my kids had their first communion. [ laughter ] although kyle, it could be good for you. >> guillermo: yeah. >> martin: you opened that only well endowed restaurant of yours, senor testicles. that's also what they call chevy chase. now listen. so breast in peace our dearly departed hooters. [ laughter ] guess it's back to watching porn on ipad at applebee's for me, i don't know. [ laughter ] what? oh, it's time for my contractually obligated "jimmy kimmel live" trump jokes. [ laughter ] apparently a must around here. so is it okay if i do this material? [ cheers and applause ]
11:39 pm
okay, here we go. there are reports that if trump gets re-elected, melania might not live in the white house with him. apparently melania hated her time in washington, but she still might come to d.c. for state dinners and official events. yes, that's when she really comes alive! [ laughter ] i actually have a little empathy for melania. she entered into this marriage, she had a certain expectation. that expectation was the average life expectancy for an american male is 76.3 years old. [ cheers and applause ] you know, almost every first lady has lived in the white house with her husband. except for nancy reagan, who spent most of the '80s shacked up with mr. t. [ laughter ] that's the only picture of them we can show on television. [ laughter ]
11:40 pm
while some may find it odd that we could have a president in a long-distance relationship, trump's former chief of staff, mick mulvaney, thinks it makes perfect sense. >> the former first lady not playing a big role possibly in her husband's presidential campaign. axios reporting she might not return full-time to d.c.? >> look, this is the issue. when you are rich and famous and beautiful like mrs. trump was before she was president -- first lady, being first lady can be a real step down. you lose the ability to go out, you lose the ability to have friends over. it can be a very confining sort of role. >> martin: thank you, the guy who looks like the melted face nazi from "indiana jones." [ laughter ] [ applause ] maybe in trump wins, melania can just move to canada. because according to a story i saw today, there are plenty of trump-like con artists up there too. this is a cautionary tale about a woman from ontario who hired a
11:41 pm
psychic to rid her home of ghosts and got a lot less than she bargained for. >> the psychic told her to get rid of evil spirits would cost her $10,000. but after marie jean paid that money, he said he needed more because the evil spirits were too strong. she gave him a total of $46,000 and was told to get jars from a dollar store so they could be captured in a ritual. >> they were going to have to be caught in these jars and captured and taken to niagara falls to be killed. >> after that she was told her life would be wonderful, and this piece of foil in a frame would protect her. but then she was told the evil spirits came back, and it would cost another $20,000. at that point, she felt duped. [ laughter ] >> martin: at that point. until then, everything seemed totally aboveboard. fool me once, shame on you. fool me nine times, here's another 20 grand. [ laughter ] [ applause ]
11:42 pm
hilarious. now kyle, let me ask you this. [ laughter ] did you hear the news about starbucks? >> guillermo: no, no, what's the news? >> martin: this is fascinating. starbucks launched a new energy drink today. it's called iced energy. it's the same amount of caffeine as six cans of coke. it's true. it's now available at every starbucks. just in time for joe biden to shoot it up his ass before the debate on thursday. [ laughter and applause ] personally, i don't need iced energy, though. because i'm launching my own energy drink. and tonight at long last, i am pleased to unveil it to the world. oh, hi, there. i'm actor, comedian, philanthropist, and award-winning adult film star martin short.
11:43 pm
perhaps you remember my first foray into pornography, "bang the bum slowly." people are always asking, marty, how do you have so much energy? usually i tell those people, get the [ bleep ] away from me, thanks! but i'm finally ready to share my secret with the world. scientology. just kidding. i ran away in the late '80s. although travolta is still a chump. it's all thanks to my proprietary energy drink "short blast." squid titties! with short blast -- >> short blast! >> i have the stamina to do all my favorite activities. jesus, mary, and joe pesci! each batch of short blast -- >> short blast! >> is brewed by my, hot air balloonist martin short, with the finest ingredients. ginseng. electrolytes. green tea. and these pills from my couch
11:44 pm
which i believe are expire edd a adderall. mama, mama, mama! and a rare powdered extract from the leaves of something called a cocoa plant from the jungles of colombia, guaranteed fresh, because i smell each batch myself. sniff, sniff. oh, it's fresh! lucifer's rectum, that's spicy! so pick up a case of short blast -- today! >> guillermo: excuse me, mr. martin short, can i have some of your drink? >> martin: what did you say to me, i'll kill you, you son of a bitch! >> classified by the fda as a class 1 toxin. may cause temporary blindness, adult acne, and pubic hair loss. do not consume short blast if you have a pending drug possession charge or are pregnant or plan on becoming pregnant. >> shut up! i'm pregnant and i drink it all day long. >> short blast! >> martin: where's that voice coming from? ahhh!
11:45 pm
>> short blast! [ cheers and applause ] >> martin: we need to take a break, but jelly roll is here. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with jane lynch. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> lou: abc's "jimmy kimmel live!" brought to you by america's best contacts and eyeglasses. g on the rise. that's why america's best is slashing their prices, with the help of yours truly. during the wise buy sales event, get two pairs of single-vision glasses and a comprehensive eye exam for just $69.95 or two pairs of progressives and an exam for $129.95. the wise buys sales event is happening now for a limited time at america's best. book an exam online today. three signs down, 237 to go. i know it's not easy dealing with us. we make sure everyone knows
11:46 pm
that we are important business people. and treat our seat like a personal spa. snickers? oop. i fired you. hahaha! sorry. ♪ (music plays throughout) ♪ ♪ ♪ another round? i'm good. ♪ let's do a song ♪ ♪ ♪ schwarzkopf dare to tell your story with keratin blonde by schwarzkopf. lighten your hair up to 9 levels and protect it from breakage with our bond enforcing system. let your hair tell your story. schwarzkopf keratin blonde. what story will you tell? ♪ imagine a future where plastic is not wasted...
11:47 pm
but instead remade over and over... into the things that keep our food fresher, our families safer, and our planet cleaner. to help us get there, america's plastic makers are investing billions of dollars to create innovative products and new recycling technologies for sustainable change. because when you push for smarter solutions, big things can happen. it's time to feed the dogs real food, not highly processed pellets. the farmer's dog is fresh food made with whole meat and veggies. it's not dry food. it's not wet food. it's just real food. it's an idea whose time has come. ♪ hey! i'll give you $574 if you switch. for gerald? well, okay. so, what about $574 for switching your home insurance to allstate? oh, i try not to think about home insurance. too complicated. actually, allstate can handle the switching for you. —just call 'em. —it's that easy to save? yup. and you get allstate.
11:48 pm
huh, well that's a step up. goodbye, gerald. oh... check allstate first and you could save hundreds. you're in good hands with allstate. marshalls buyers hustle for the latest trends, from fashion... double denim is back. got it! to beauty, so you don't have to. that is a deal! we get the deals, you get the good stuff. marshalls. (speaker 1) what can i see with a telescope from cedar lake? (speaker 2) this is your old neighborhood, right? (speaker 3) this is where i grew up. (speaker 4) check this out. imagine little italy in 1954. (speaker 5) summarized this. (narrator) it starts with an empty prompt. (speaker 6) oh, there it is. (narrator) and the most advanced ai at your fingertips.
11:49 pm
11:50 pm
♪ >> martin: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live." i'm martin short. let's hear it for the band. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, cletones! thank you, cleto! and of course, my beloved jeffrey babko. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> martin: i've known jeff for years. we're very close. he was there when all three of my children were conceived. [ laughter ] i know, because i was out of town making a movie. [ laughter ] jeff plays keyboard for steve martin and i when we do our show throughout north america. [ cheers and applause ] is it fun doing the show, jeff? >> i have fun, i have a good time. sometimes it gets a little stressful not being on tv. you don't have the safety of the stage. you know it's going to be preserved forever. here it's a little different. the dynamic with you is a little
11:51 pm
different. i grew up playing live music. >> martin: did you? e. >> i grew up live playing, but. >> martin: jeff, jeff, shh. you have to stop talking now. [ laughter ] stormy daniels pays him hush money. [ laughter and applause ] you're a lovely man, we all know that. he's a little dull when he gets going. his stripper name is ambien. [ laughter ] when he goes out, he paints the town taupe. [ laughter ] cocaine calls him the challenge. [ laughter ] so anyway -- no, i love you jeff. how long you been doing this? >> i started playing piano when i was 4 -- >> martin: no, i mean sucking the energy out of a room. [ laughter ] same time? >> same time. >> martin: thought so. all right. well, any way, or anyways as is less literate like to say -- [ laughter and applause ] we have quite a show for you
11:52 pm
this evening. you can see him cohost the cma fest starting tomorrow on hulu. here for a chat and a block party performance on the verizon outdoor stage -- jelly roll is with us! [ cheers and applause ] and make sure you come back tomorrow night when i'll be joined by selena gomez and beck. [ cheers and applause ] and on thursday, my friend jiminy glick will be hosting with his guests melissa mccarthy and nick kroll. [ applause ] my first guest, my first guest is a very talented five-time emmy-winning actress and my beloved co-star on "only murders in the building" where she's mastered the role of steve scalise's stunt double. >> i got a cold case for you. >> hey! >> ha ha! >> how did you get in here? >> who knows. i may have made copies of all
11:53 pm
your keys. like i said, who knows? >> okay, photo op, photo op. i love these, all right. [ cheers and applause ] >> martin: season four of "only murders in the building" premieres august 27th on hulu. please welcome the great jane lynch. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> fellow lesbians, i love it. [ laughter ] >> martin: look at you. i've missed that little pork pie hat of yours. >> i know. i love it. >> you only made four seasons of the show, and you play steve scalise's stupt double. >> i do. >> martin: he was here last night, and you are so much more attractive.
11:54 pm
>> i am, aren't i? yes, thank you. >> martin: just fantastic. this is what i'm always fascinated about people -- you are -- when we would shoot our show, there's a holding area. in that area sometimes actors are looking at their lines or they're studying -- jane is just singing, doing jokes, laughing, asking questions of people. you love show business. >> i do, i absolutely love it. you know, you will be, like, across the room doing something, and you find the funny in everything. and so i will be listening to you and you'll say something hilarious, and i'll laugh, and you'll be like, oh, who got my joke? you'll look over, and it's me. you'll go like, yeah, uh-huh. [ laughter ] >> martin: a shark, yeah. >> truly the funniest person i know. >> martin: oh, that's not true. [ laughter ] >> it's almost a science with you. you find the funny in everything, and i deeply, deeply appreciate it. >> martin: that's awfully sweet. i don't believe you for one second. [ laughter ] here's what i'm fascinated by with you. you're so bursting with show business. is this something you wanted to do your whole life?
11:55 pm
>> yes, it is. i am of show, as they say. [ laughter ] >> martin: you're best in show, right? >> oh, thank you. i do -- i love that my parents used to do a show at church called "port o call" where every school room was a different port of call, and they'd put on a musical. i remember literally being beside myself in absolute joy watching them perform and going, oh, i want to perform in a church basement someday. [ laughter ] and i have performed in many church basements, and here we are. >> martin: here we are, yeah. [ laughter and applause ] i mean, how old were you when you decided you actually wanted -- that this was a realistic goal? >> i can -- a realistic goal? never. >> martin: yeah. >> i cannot remember a moment in time where i didn't want to do this. and i'll bet it's the same for you, too. >> martin: little bit. >> i wanted to be on television. i remember being very young, going to a school basement and watching a play, and all of a sudden the lights went down and
11:56 pm
when the lights came up it was like this other world. and i went, oh! i want to do that, i want to do that! i wrote a letter to universal studios in 1972 when i was 12 years old. >> martin: 12 years old. >> yeah. and i said, "i'm jane lynch from dalton, illinois. perhaps you've heard of me." [ laughter ] and i said, "i want to be an actress." and they sent me a letter back. and it was the assistant to the casting director and said, you know, "i love that you want to do this, but we don't really cast people from the cornfields." [ laughter ] "they usually come to us. but we wish you the best in your career." and it is a letter that would have shattered the dreams of most children. but for me, it just -- >> martin: seemed encouraging? >> it encouraged me. to see my name, "dear jamie." she wrote, "dear jamie." and that didn't insult me either. >> martin: no, no. let me see. they got the name wrong, and you were rejected. somehow you felt that was positive.
11:57 pm
>> it was positive. >> martin: that's kind of the energy you need to have in show business. >> you do. i'm a weeble that wobbles, but i don't fall down. [ cheers and applause ] remember weebles? right? >> martin: what would you say was your -- everyone has a big break. >> right. >> martin: what was your big break? >> i would say it was probably "best in show" with christopher guest. [ cheers and applause ] >> martin: genius, genius, genius. >> yes. in 1999, i did a bunch of commercials. i don't know if you remember, but it was the year of jane lynch. [ laughter ] nexium. chevrolet. i did all sorts of stuff. a bug spray. and i went into a call-back for a kellogg's frosted flakes commercial. at the call-back it said, "director, christopher guest." now i knew -- and i had seen "waiting for guffman." of course i knew him on "snl," i knew you, the synchronized swimming thing, you guys were just amazing. i was very nervous, but he cast
11:58 pm
me in that commercial. and then about, oh, probably three or four months later, i was at the newsroom having breakfast in beverly hills, you've heard of it, i'm sure? [ laughter ] i was having a pancake the size of your head. and in walks christopher guest. and he was going to the gym next door. and he looked at me and went, "ah." and so we talked a little bit. he said, "come to my office," which was across the street, "about 5:00 in the afternoon." so i did. he basically offered me the part in "best in show." >> martin: that is amazing. [ cheers and applause ] chris, you know -- i met chris in '84 when we were cast as cast members of "snl." and i've known him. he's a very, very close friend. one of the funniest human beings. but it's so dry. >> yeah. >> martin: and so filled with irony in every element. one time when i was making this film "captain ron" -- hold for applause. [ applause ] "captain ron."
11:59 pm
and christopher said ", so, martin, what is this film you're making?" i said, "well, it's called captain ron, and i play a man who has two children who inherits a boat." he said, "i didn't say spoil it for me." [ laughter ] we're in this show, "only murders in the building." >> yes. >> martin: four seasons. [ cheers and applause ] we have quite a cast. >> yes. >> martin: and of course the great meryl streep, who you have worked with in nora ephron's brilliant film. >> yes, "julie and julia." >> martin: how is your experience with meryl? >> well, you know -- i just love her. i think she's truly one of the best actresses we have. >> martin: yeah. >> this was about 2008. so i was really nervous. i remember walking up and down the streets of new york, running my lives, because i didn't want to "f" them up with meryl streep. i was just -- i'll tell you, the moment we dove into our scenes together, nora ephron was the director. and nora came up to me and
12:00 am
whispered in my ear and said, "yes, yes." i was so relieved. >> martin: just like, you're doing all right? >> yeah, it's good, i like what you're doing. i was really nervous about it. i just dove off the cliff. and nothing meryl does is half-assed. >> martin: no. >> she is playing julia child. and there is nothing half-assed about julia child. she's, whoa! and her sister is, whoa! we had to start at this pitch. it was great, it was really good. >> martin: tell the story about your mom at -- >> the premiere. >> martin: the premiere of that movie. >> "julie and julia." she's about 80 at this point to come to the premiere. my mother was swedish and irish, and the swedish won out, which means she was always kind of -- [ laughter ] not really impressed. actually, her mouth was agape. [ laughter ] and so we went to this -- we went to the premiere. and i was walking the red carpet. and my mother just was tagging along with me. so she was walking with her
12:01 am
purse up the red carpet with me. and all of a sudden we heard this roar of the crowd go up. and i look over, and it's meryl had arrived. and all of a sudden i feel this breeze go by me, and it's my 80-year-old mother. [ laughter ] who, even when she was young and sprightly, walked very slowly. she just ran. and she ran toward meryl streep, and meryl streep went -- aahhh! [ laughter ] scared the hell out of her. and my mother said, "i'm jane lynch's mother." kind of like spitting it out. >> martin: yeah. >> and meryl said, "oh, well, it's very nice to meet you." said something nice about me. oh, i was -- i remember i was talking to ryan seacrest on the red carpet. and when that happened. >> martin: who were you talking to again? >> ryan seacrest. >> martin: yeah. >> as i was talking to him and this was happening, a bird [ bleep ]ed on my head. [ moans and applause ] i'm serious. you can see it. look it up.
12:02 am
i've got bird poop. and my mother running by me. [ laughter ] >> martin: everyone's a critic. but "only murders," you know -- and you die. >> i die. well, yeah, yes. >> martin: you die at the end of season three. >> like the letter from universal, it was a -- i celebrated it. >> martin: why did you celebrate it? >> because i knew i was going to be in a lot of episodes the next season. >> martin: yes, you are, just a few. >> the murder victim at the end of season of "only murders in the building," that is the murder to be solved in the next season. so there were a lot of flashbacks. and i don't want to give -- >> martin: no, we can't tell anything. i was talking to john harper and i said, what can we say? he said action nothing. >> nothing, okay. >> martin: we might even snip some of this out. don't repeat anything. [ laughter ] >> yeah. you guys, don't say anything, okay? >> martin: yeah, no, yeah. >> it was a joy. just a real joy. >> martin: you're spectacular in the show. >> thank you.
12:03 am
walk back at you. >> martin: i mean it. [ laughter ] steve and you work so brilliantly together. it really is a delight. i'm so glad you're here. are you familiar with jelly roll? >> i am, actually. i love that guy. the voice on that guy. i'm so excited. >> martin: there's an amazing interview we talk about with howard stern a few days ago. anyway, we'll be right back with jelly roll and more of jane lynch. geico can help cover cars, homes, motorcycles and even accordions. pretty liberating knowing geico can help insure our car, and with our home insurance, your accordion too. we're not the only ones out here taking advantage of geico. [playing accordian] smoke him, edna. [continue playing accordian]
12:04 am
you sure showed him. you bet your pickled peppers, i did. whatever you need, from coverage to service, get more with geico. head & shoulders bare clinically proven dandruff protection with just 9 essential ingredients no sulfates, no silicones, no dyes. dandruff protection, minimal ingredients. job done. (♪) (♪) bounce back fast from heartburn with tums gummy bites, and love food back. (♪) at tj maxx, you can afford to turn your closet into a place of endless expression. with the quality, styles, and prices you love. ♪
12:05 am
(woman) oh, come on! come on! (vo) fargo lets you do this: (woman) fargo, turn off my debit card. i found it! i found my card! (vo) and also, this: (woman) fargo, turn on my debit card! (vo) do you fargo? you can, with wells fargo. magic cauldron it's time to brew... a happiest halloween with so much to do. just a pinch of pumpkin... a dash of bat... a sprinkle of joy from my witch's hat. potions keep stirring... mix halloween flare. now, add some friendly spirits... that haunt the air. put magic and treats at every corner to be seen... come alive my cauldron... brew the happiest halloween.
12:06 am
♪ ♪ have you always had trouble losing weight and keeping it off? same. discover the power of wegovy®. ♪ ♪ with wegovy®, i lost 35 pounds. and some lost over 46 pounds. ♪ ♪ and i'm keeping the weight off. wegovy® helps you lose weight and keep it off. i'm reducing my risk. wegovy® is the only fda-approved weight-management medicine that's proven to reduce risk of major cardiovascular events in adults with known heart disease and with either obesity or overweight. wegovy® shouldn't be used with semaglutide or glp-1 medicines. don't take wegovy® if you or your family had medullary thyroid cancer, multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2,
12:07 am
or if allergic to it. stop wegovy® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or an allergic reaction. serious side effects may happen, including pancreatitis and gallbladder problems. wegovy® may cause low blood sugar in people with diabetes, especially if you take medicines to treat diabetes. tell your provider about vision problems or changes, or if you feel your heart racing while at rest. depression or thoughts of suicide may occur. call your provider right away if you have any mental changes. common side effects like nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea may lead to dehydration, which may cause kidney problems. with wegovy®, i'm losing weight, i'm keeping it off. and i'm lowering my cv risk. that's the power of we. ♪ ♪ check your cost and coverage before talking to your health care professional about wegovy®. (vo) with wells fargo premier, a team can help you plan for your dreams. so your dream car, and vacation home, may be closer than you think. ready to meet the dream team? you can with wells fargo.
12:08 am
♪ >> you're insane! >> martin: welcome back. i'm here with the fabulous jane lynch. and our next guest is a multi-genre, multi-platinum, multi-padded recording artist. you can see him live on his "beautifully broken" arena tour starting in august. tickets are available at jellyroll615.com. please welcome jelly roll! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
12:09 am
>> martin: here's your water. you got water. >> oh, water, baby. >> martin: oh my god. >> yes. >> martin: what do i call you? do i call you mr. roll? do i call you jelly? jell-o? [ laughter ] >> i never heard jell-o. i prefer jelly, because mr. roll sounds like mistletoe. [ laughter ] >> martin: yeah. >> and it always confuses me, i want to start kissing people. >> martin: oh! >> i'm already a big hugger, you know what i mean? >> martin: i know, three ribs were just broken. [ laughter ] first of all, yesterday steve martin was on the show. and he said to me -- i told him you were coming on the show and he said, "have you heard the howard stern --" >> hold on steve martin knows i'm a human? [ laughter ] >> martin: yes, he does. >> this is awesome! [ cheers and applause ] >> martin: but it is a great, great interview.
12:10 am
no one is better than howard, of course. >> absolutely. >> martin: there's no one better. and he -- it was just very moving. i just got very -- tell them a little bit about this journey you've had. you've had -- wouldn't you say you're one of the luckiest -- forget the most talented but one of the luckiest guys in your journey of where you could have ended up? >> absolutely, man. i always say, talent will get you very far, but if you don't got a horseshoe hidden somewhere in you, you're going to be in trouble. [ laughter ] lucky for me i have a rabbit foot in my butt. [ laughter ] i've been able to sneak through pretty easy. can i say that on tv? >> you did. >> martin: you just did. [ laughter ] >> the short version is, martin, that i was incarcerated as a juvenile for some horrible decisions and i ended up in the rotating door of the system for a decade. i had a daughter. it changed my entire life, man. it was almost like the damascus road experience where saul turned to paul for me. the moment i was incarcerated,
12:11 am
they knocked on my door and they told me she was born, and i wept. i the first time i cried, and i can't stop crying. i cry when a see a squirrel in the street. the little squirrel! you know, spent 30 years not crying and now i can't stop. >> martin: when did you start writing music? was that as a little kid like jane? or was that someone -- something that happened in prison? when did you become inspired? >> a little bit of both. i was always writing songs as a kid to kind of connect with my mother, because she loved music. but in jail is when i really started -- had a lot of time. a lot of time. maybe i should invest this time in something positive. i wrote a bunch of songs. >> martin: yeah, but you couldn't record -- could you write them down? >> yeah, you could write them down. we didn't have an instrument. we would have to make them on a table. >> wow. >> martin: what do you mean? >> do you want me to give you an example? anybody mind if i try this? [ cheers and applause ] so -- i do something like that. but just to riff. it would be like -- i'm kind of
12:12 am
freestyling, let me figure it out in my head. ♪ well i can't believe i'm doing this i'm sitting by your side ♪ ♪ i can't believe i'm sitting with the father of the bride hey ♪ hey that's crazy to me i'm in between martin short and the lady from glee ♪ i love you! [ cheers and applause ] >> martin: that is fantastic. >> that is great. >> martin: when did you get the tattoo? where would a fellow like me get after elegant face tattoo? [ laughter ] >> well, i don't know about elegant. i can tell you about cheap. [ laughter ] you can get a face tattoo in prison for a pack of cigarettes and some peanut butter. [ laughter ] >> martin: and that's when you got your first tattoo, on your face? >> i got my first face tattoo when i was incarcerated. >> martin: so then you're out, and you're -- how do you then get to be you?
12:13 am
what happens between your release and being you? >> hm. >> martin: not overnight? >> no, no, it was ten years of sleeping in a van and selling mix tapes out of my trunk. you ever been down times square, the guy that hands you a cd real aggressively, extorts you into buying it? i was that guy. [ laughter ] like, "here's my crappy mix tape, take it now! take it, take it, sir!" >> martin: what was the big breakthrough that got you all this attention? how did you get a producer to say, wow? >> well, i never really -- i just did it independently forever. i just kept writing songs and putting them out myself. i would just upload them on youtube, and it started to kind of grow and build something, kind of kept getting cool. >> martin: so youtube. >> youtube was a big thing for me, man. 2020 i dropped a song called "save me," and it changed my entire life. [ cheers and applause ] it was the typical story of a guy that had done it for 20 years to absolutely no avail, and then one song kind of changed everything for him.
12:14 am
>> martin: one song really did change everything? >> what i found out was, i was a decent singer and a really bad rapper, but nobody told me. [ laughter ] i thought i was a really bad singer and a decent rapper, turned out i had them backwards for 20 years. >> martin: fans are very excited for your new album. what is the release date on this? >> i'm not supposed to say, but i will. [ laughter ] i will say, this is the hint i will give. jelly roll's music favors the fall. [ applause ] >> martin: wow. and your new single is, "i'm not okay"? >> yes, sir. >> martin: yeah, and what is that referring to? >> we were leaving a show one night down in north carolina. we were on the bus. a buddy of mine, a songwriter named taylor phillips, sitting with me, said, "that was the most emotional concert i've ever seen in my life." and i said, "i believe it's kind of a church experience for the lost." i said, "what we do at our concert is make it okay to be not okay for a minute." and right then we started playing the piano. we wrote that song at 4:00 in the morning.
12:15 am
>> martin: really? >> it's beautiful. >> thank you so much. >> martin: and a journey of struggle with mental health? >> yes, sir, yes, sir. i wanted to encapsulate -- if you've ever really been in that dark hole of depression, it's really hard to say what's happening. and i think music sometimes is the words that we can't find ourselves. >> martin: yeah. that is absolutely phenomenal. [ cheers and applause ] well, we've got to pause for something. that's what we say. we've got to sell something now. more with jane lynch and jelly roll. we'll be right back. [ cheering and applause ] >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are sponsored by short blast. blast your ass off. things will go wrong for your customers. but your business can make it right, with watsonx assistant.
12:16 am
ai that can help resolve problems by understanding your customer requests with 90 percent accuracy. let's create customer service in service of customers, with watsonx assistant. ibm. let's create. sometimes jonah wrestles with falling asleep... ...so he takes zzzquil. the world's #1 sleep aid brand. and wakes up feeling like himself. get the rest to be your best with non-habit forming zzzquil. ♪ ♪ marshalls buyers are detail obsessed perfectionists. who take quality very seriously. and go to the ends of the earth to hustle the best of the best for you. yes! we get the deals, you get the good stuff. marshalls. ♪ (music plays throughout) ♪ ♪ ♪ another round? i'm good. ♪ let's do a song ♪ ♪ ♪
12:17 am
>> university of maryland global campus is a school for real life, one that values the successes you've already achieved. earn up to 90 undergraduate credits for relevant experience and get the support you need from your first day to graduation day and beyond. what will your next success be? (gag) it stinks (gags) (gagging) (sniffing) (gag) basic litter stinks. step up your litter game with fresh step's superior odor control. step it up to fresh step. [ distorted ] i just think everyone should know there's an insurance company out there exposing superior odor control. other companies' rates so you can compare them and save. sounds like trouble. nope! it's autoquote explorer from progressive. helps drivers save. you guys are gonna do that shadow thing on me, right? -sure. -ohh, that's gonna be awesome. zyrtec allergy relief works fast and lasts a full 24 hours so dave can be the... deliverer of dance. ok, dave! let's be more than our allergies. zeize the day with zyrtec.
12:18 am
♪ give me the loot, give me the loot ♪ [besegai] you robbed the mayor. we gotta find those guys before the cops do. find them, where? coming through! we're firemen. [rory] everybody in new england is after us. —i got shot. —there's no way. i dove in front of the bullet to save your life. stop it. [explosion] you know where that goes? ♪ it goes somewhere. i don't think that— [explosion] a bunch of instigators! yeah, more or less. the instigators, rated r. streaming soon on apple tv+. oh man... do you stick with plump, juicy raisins? or try something deliciously frosted? best to reallyyyy chew on this one. but maybe not so loudly. more delicious ways to bran. detect this: living with hiv, craig learned he can stay undetectable with fewer medicines. that's why he switched to dovato. dovato is a complete hiv treatment for some adults. no other complete hiv pill uses fewer medicines to help keep you undetectable than dovato.
12:19 am
detect this: leo learned that most hiv pills contain 3 or 4 medicines. dovato is as effective with just 2. if you have hepatitis b, don't stop dovato without talking to your doctor. don't take dovato if you're allergic to its ingredients or taking dofetilide. this can cause serious or life-threatening side effects. if you have a rash or allergic reaction symptoms, stop dovato and get medical help right away. serious or life-threatening lactic acid buildup and liver problems can occur. tell your doctor if you have kidney or liver problems, or if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or considering pregnancy. dovato may harm an unborn baby. most common side effects are headache, nausea, diarrhea, trouble sleeping, tiredness, and anxiety. detect this: you could stay undetectable with fewer medicines. ask your doctor about dovato.
12:20 am
[upbeat music] ♪ yeah, baby, i like it like that ♪ ♪ i like it like that, i like it like that ♪ ♪ yeeeeeaaaaahhhhhh ♪
12:21 am
this is the greatest team ever! (♪) (♪) ♪ >> martin: welcome back! i'm here with my two best amigos, jane lynch and jelly roll. [ cheers and applause ] your "beautiful broken" tour starts when? >> it starts august the 26th or 27th. >> martin: you're adding dates? >> yes, sir. this is my -- this is why i'm here. i'm here to tell you all we have added 16 shows to my first arena tour. [ cheers and applause ] madison square garden. >> martin: you're loaded. >> yes, i am. i just came off the "fully loaded" tour with bert kreischer. i'm having a great week! [ cheers and applause ] >> martin: also, you're going to
12:22 am
my hometown, i guess? >> yes. >> ontario, that's where you're from. >> martin: from canada, yeah. [ laughter ] >> okay, aren't you from ontario? >> martin: in canada, when you share a tattoo needle, you can get hepatitis, eh? [ rim shot ] thank you so much. never been prouder. >> you know, this is my first time in canada. >> martin: really? >> this is a big deal they let me in, it was really cool. >> martin: oh, you're going to love them. >> it took america 38 years to let me leave, and now i got to convince other countries to let me come. [ laughter ] >> martin: it is exciting, you're going to love -- >> i'm nervous. i've got some canada questions. >> martin: go ahead. >> first of all, what's the language? [ laughter ] >> martin: it as bilingual country, you know? like a stop sign is "stop" and then "arret." it's in two languages.
12:23 am
>> this is the important one. what do y'all call bacon? we call y'all's bacon canadian bacon. do y'all have american bacon? >> martin: no, no, canadian bacon is a thicker bacon -- bacon and egg chip bacon. >> y'all still call it canadian bacon in canada? [ laughter ] >> martin: no, no, no. yeah, we do. wow are we backward, i do know what to say. >> am i the only person confuse right now? [ laughter and applause ] >> canadian bacon is like ham. it's thicker. >> what i'm saying is -- >> martin: a million letters. [ laughter ] well, this is -- now, you told me that there's a ritual? >> there is. >> martin: you do before each show? >> yes, sir. >> martin: i've seen this clip. it's quite hysterical. tell us about the ritual before the show. >> well, the ritual started with just a prayer. then one of the guys in the band after we prayed said, "turn up."
12:24 am
the next tour one guy, after he said turn up, the next guy said, "yee-yee." what started as a prayer has turned into an 18-minute ordeal where everybody gets a little saying. and it somehow has spun into us singing "the cool running" song. [ laughter ] >> martin: i think we have a clip of this. can we show this? >> one day, god, glory for it. in the name of jesus. do you agree? >> yeah-yeah. >> yee-yee. >> get on out! hooray! what's that? what's that? hoo! [ cheers and applause ] >> martin: that's great. let me tell you something. there is a massive crowd of your fans outside. and they've been here since 8:00 a.m. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] way before i got in.
12:25 am
>> wish i'd have known, i'd have swung by. >> martin: it feels like they deserve a chance to ask some questions of you. who do we have there? >> his shirt is incredible. >> hi, my name is trevor. huge fan of jelly roll. i have a question for you. you've touched so many people's lives and are on so many of our playlists. who's on your playlist? who's impacted your life? >> oh, great, great question, man. thank you for asking, trevor. every -- y'all, don't make fun of me, but i am a sucker for '70s music. waylon jennings. willie nelson. i am all into james taylor. jim croce. >> oh, yeah. >> this is my play list. >> yep, mine too. yeah, that's mine. >> martin: anyone else? >> my name is madeline, and i wanted to ask, what's your favorite song that you've ever written? >> oh, goodness gracious. like picking a favorite kid, and i have one. [ laughter ] >> exactly.
12:26 am
>> little recency bias, probably "i'm not okay" because i'm seeing the immediate impact it's having right now in realtime. >> a great song. [ applause ] >> my name's adam. this is so huge for me. my question is actually for jane. i'm a huge "glee" fan. huge. [ cheers and applause ] >> me too. >> ryan murphy hinted at reboot, or as i like to call it, a "glee" boot. any comment? did i mention i love "glee"? [ applause ] >> you're so typical. you're so typical of our audience. [ laughter ] >> he looks like he watched it in prison. we might have been cellmates. [ laughter ] >> i would love to -- i don't know of one, but i would love to see it. i think the world needs another "glee." >> i think so too. [ cheers and applause ] >> martin: tickets to jelly role's "beautifully broken" arena tour are available at
12:27 am
jellyroll615.com. and you can watch him cohost cma fest starting tomorrow on hulu. >> yes. >> martin: season four of "only murders in the building" of course with the great jane lynch -- [ cheers and applause ] -- premieres august 27th also on hulu. we'll be right back with music from jelly roll! [ cheering and applause ] ♪ yself i was ok with my moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis symptoms. with my psoriatic arthritis symptoms. but just ok isn't ok. and i was done settling. if you still have symptoms after a tnf blocker like humira or enbrel, rinvoq is different and may help. rinvoq is a once-daily pill that can rapidly relieve joint pain, stiffness, and swelling in ra and psa. relieve fatigue for some and stop joint damage. and in psa, can leave skin clear or almost clear.
12:28 am
rinvoq can lower your ability to fight infections, including tb. serious infections and blood clots, some fatal; cancers, including lymphoma and skin; heart attack, stroke, and gi tears occurred. people 50 and older with a heart disease risk factor have an increased risk of death. serious allergic reactions can occur. tell your doctor if you are or may become pregnant. done settling? ask your rheumatologist for rinvoq. and take back what's yours. abbvie could help you save. ♪ ♪ ♪ want some water sweetie? ♪ brita elite removes 99% of lead. for safer, great tasting tap water. ♪ brita, get back to tap. lucy: cricket has free samsung galaxy phones! miles: whaaat...
12:29 am
lucy: free phones! fast 5g! miles: whaaat... lucy: and nationwide coverage. miles: whaaat... pretty good deal. lucy: smile, you're on cricket [inner voice] is it menopause or something else? the menopause journey has stages. learn about yours with clearblue menopause stage indicator that tracks your fsh hormone levels combining them with your cycle data. what's your menopause stage? geico can help when you get a flat tire with their easy app and 24-7 help. to the right now... to the left! no, to the left. watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out! is the gps playing the “cha cha slide”? no. now it's time to get funky. funky is not a direction. to the right now... to the left! go to the right, to the right, to the right! freeze. everybody clap your hands. [claps] whatever you need, from coverage to service, get more with geico. ♪how low can you go♪ ♪ ♪ have you always had trouble losing weight get more with geico.
12:30 am
and keeping it off? same. discover the power of wegovy®. ♪ ♪ with wegovy®, i lost 35 pounds. and some lost over 46 pounds. ♪ ♪ and i'm keeping the weight off. wegovy® helps you lose weight and keep it off. i'm reducing my risk. wegovy® is the only fda-approved weight-management medicine that's proven to reduce risk of major cardiovascular events in adults with known heart disease and with either obesity or overweight. wegovy® shouldn't be used with semaglutide or glp-1 medicines. don't take wegovy® if you or your family had medullary thyroid cancer, multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if allergic to it. stop wegovy® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or an allergic reaction. serious side effects may happen, including pancreatitis and gallbladder problems. wegovy® may cause low blood sugar in people with diabetes, especially if you take medicines to treat diabetes. tell your provider about vision problems or changes, or if you feel your heart racing while at rest.
12:31 am
depression or thoughts of suicide may occur. call your provider right away if you have any mental changes. common side effects like nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea may lead to dehydration, which may cause kidney problems. with wegovy®, i'm losing weight, i'm keeping it off. and i'm lowering my cv risk. that's the power of we. ♪ ♪ check your cost and coverage before talking to your health care professional about wegovy®.
12:32 am
>> lou: tonight's "jimmy kimmel live" block party featuring jelly roll is powered by verizon. get the best in sports, music and entertainment with the verizon access. >> martin: his tour starts august 27th in salt lake city. here with the world premiere of the song "burning," jelly roll! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i got violence on the brain you know i learned to love the taste ♪ ♪ 'cuz it numbs the bitter pain inside of me ♪ ♪ where there's smoke you know
12:33 am
there's a fire where's there's fire here's a liar ♪ ♪ saying there's no hope to heal your broken dreams ♪ ♪ singing oh lord won't you show me ♪ ♪ show me there's some other way don't leave me burning here in a fire all by myself ♪ ♪ oh-oh god knows i'm hurting here when i'm crying out for help ♪ ♪ don't leave me begging for my life 'cuz i'm running out of time ♪ ♪ i'm just trying to find some kind of way to stay between the lines ♪ ♪ i'm burning here i'm burning here ♪ ♪ i'm burning here i'm burning here ♪ ♪ with every high there comes a crash ♪ with every love that doesn't last ♪ ♪ leaves you falling through the cracks under the ground and all those wasted ♪
12:34 am
♪ second chances keeps you searching for the answers ♪ ♪ turns out shame is just another slate of doubt ♪ ♪ singing oh lord won't you show me ♪ ♪ show me there's some other way ♪ ♪ don't leave me burning here in a fire all by myself ♪ ♪ oh-oh god knows i'm hurting here when i'm crying out for help ♪ ♪ don't leave me begging for my life 'cuz i'm running out of time ♪ ♪ i'm just trying to find some kind of way to stay between the lines ♪ ♪ i'm burning here i'm burning here ♪ ♪ i'm burning here i'm burning here ♪
12:35 am
♪ i'm burning here i'm burning here ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> lou: tonight's jimmy kimmel live block party with jelly roll is powered by verizon. get the best entertainment in sports music with verizon access. (woman) oh, come on! come on! (vo) fargo lets you do this: (woman) fargo, turn off my debit card. i found it! i found my card! (vo) and also, this: (woman) fargo, turn on my debit card! (vo) do you fargo? you can, with wells fargo.
12:36 am
(vo) with wells fargo premier,
12:37 am
a team can help you plan for your dreams. so your dream car, and vacation home, may be closer than you think. ready to meet the dream team? you can with wells fargo. that's all the time we've got. i want to thank jane lynch and jelly roll. "nightline" is next. thank you for watching. >> i need to be held! this is "nightline." >> tonight, the s.w.a.t. team assigned to pro

60 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on