♪ [ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers. tonight -- joel mchale, comedian kyle kinane featuring the 8g band with adrian young ♪ [ cheers and applause and now, seth meyers >> seth: good evening.

i'm seth meyers. this is "late night. we hope you're doing well. and now if you don't mind, we're going to get to the news today was super tuesday, where 16 states and one territory got together and held an intervention for nikki haley [ light laughter ] in a profile published yesterday in the "new yorker." president biden said he will beat former president trump and added, quote, "i'm the only one who has ever beat him. well, that's true, unless you count e. jean carroll, letitia james, covid, the free market, and ramps. lhlh according to a new report the trump white house pharmacy would give staffers xanax and speed without prescriptions. oh, come on. is there any proof >> saudi arabia and russia will repetoo -- oh. [ laughter ] >> seth: ohh that's right, the trump white house pharmacy would give staffers xanax and speed without prescriptions, and one patient kept asking them, "is there such a thing as reverse viagra?

[ laughter ] according to a new survey, nearly half of parents keep a pregnancy test or ultrasound image of their child as a keepsake, but be careful, because the alabama supreme court now considers both of those things a person. [ laughter ] an amazon warehouse near seattle recently began testing a 5'9" robot that resembles a human he's so lifelike his tinder profile says he's 6'1. [ laughter ] a man in wisconsin recently extended his guinness world record after he ate 728 mcdonald's big macs in 2023. the record was for healthiest man in wisconsin [ laughter ] according to a new survey, 46% of parents said that they would be willing to give up social media to have one more day with their child as a baby.

but that drops to 5% when you change it to one more night. [ light laughter ] the genealogy company ancestry confirmed yesterday that taylor swift and the late poet emily dickinson are related. okay, i was wondering why emily dickinson was at the super bowl [ laughter ] she brought a fan? photographers in hawaii recently captured images of two male humpback whales having sex, in case you're wondering why mike pence is trying to shut down the beach [ laughter ] and finally, the startup company colossal biosciences has announced that it's working to genetically bring back the dodo bird, and we'll know the moment they succeed [ laughter ] [ audience oohs you'll try it! [ laughter ] we're all going to try it! that guy in wisconsin's going to try it [ laughter ] that was the monologue, everybody, we are off and

running! [ cheers and applause we have a great show for you tonight. you know him from "community," "the soup," and he stars in "animal control," which returns tonight on fox our friend joel mchale is back on the show. [ cheers and applause one of our favorites and he's a fantastic comedian whose stand-up special "dirt nap" is on sale now. kyle kinane will also be joining us, you guys [ cheers and applause hey, one of my favorite singer-songwriters, jeff tweedy is on "family trips with the meyers brothers" this week give it a listen wherever you get your podcasts. moving on -- [ applause ] i don't have to tell you guys, these days the news stinks every headline i see makes me feel worse than the last, but every once in a while there's a story, and you know what, i'll just admit it, that makes me feel great i'd like to share one now in a segment called "the kind of story we need right now. [ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: this is logen abney and tiana ailstock logen and tiana were engaged to be married, and they were facing the most important question all engaged people face -- where should we have our wedding did they choose a church, a hotel ballroom, a barn filled with upcycled centerpieces from

etsy no, logen and tiana got married in the dopest location of all time -- a gas station bathroom in verona, kentucky. a gas station bathroom isn't dope, you may say. but it wasn't just any gas station bathroom in this bathroom there's a big red button with a sign next to it that says "do not push this button." [ light laughter ] and when you push it, a disco light comes on and music plays this is the kind of story we need right now what a "[ bleep ] you" to the wedding industry [ laughter ] wedding planners everywhere are like, "you need a chocolate fountain and fireworks and 1,000 white doves. and this couple was like, "we need a gas station with a button and a list." [ light laughter ] the average couple spends over $30,000 on their wedding not this couple. thigh might even make money if they bought the right scratch offs so - [ light laughter ] what does a wedding in a gas station disco bathroom look like the answer is, cool as hell. here's the bride walking in. ♪ >> seth: this is the kind of story we need right now!

most weddings are so boring. you watch your cousin walk down the aisle past all your old ass relatives. these guests got to watch the bride walk past a slushie machine. [ laughter ] just as customers mix flavors at the slushie machine, we gather today to watch logen and tiana mix their lives. for the record, those slushie colors are also the most common colors for bridesmaids dresses [ light laughter ] after the bride walked down the aisle, specifically aisle three, she met her groom in the disco bathroom, where they exchanged the best words i've ever heard >> through the funky beats >> through the funky beats >> and mellow melodies >> and mellow melodies, i promise to be your partner >> in every rhythm in life >> in every rhythm in life >> logen, in disco bathrooms >> and on a dance floor of life. >> and on the dance floor of life >> i choose you. >> i choose you. >> seth: this is the kind of story we need right now! [ cheers and applause most wedding vows are like, "i'm going to take care of you when you're sick. these vows are like, "we're going to [ bleep ] boogie. when they were done exchanging vows, the priest pronounced them man and wife and then they hit

the big red button and shared their first dance. [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] right there in front of their friends and family and the paper towel dispenser. guys, i got to say, not only is it cool that logen and tiana got married in a disco bathroom, it's cool that this bathroom exists in the first place. gas station bathrooms are widely recognized as the worst places on earth they're disgusting, they smell bad, and usually when you see one on the news it's for a murder [ laughter ] but someone in this gas station said, "what if we ahead our bathroom a little less bad?" and now people are getting married there. move over, thomas edison whoever made this bathroom is history's greatest inventor. now, you may be thinking, "how did they have time to do a whole wedding? anytime i'm in a gas station bathroom for more than 2 minutes, i hear the angry pounding of a trucker who's about to crap his pants. well, to make sure no one tried to use the bathroom while logen and tiana were tying the knot, the gas station put up this sign -- "disco bathroom wedding in session [ laughter ] sorry if any inconvenience." this is the kind of story we need right now [ cheers and applause right there.

usually when a bathroom is out of order it's for something gross. this time it was for something beautiful. that sign shouldn't say "sorry for the inconvenience," it should say "you're welcome for showing you what true love looks like." and look at the fine print -- free fountain pop on us. [ laughter ] story keeps getting better you know everyone in the area was like, "you've got to get down to the gas station in verona they're giving away soda because they're having a wedding in the can. [ light laughter ] after the ceremony was over, the couple hung out in the convenience store with their guests, which frankly sounds like a perfect wedding reception -- no boring toasts, no bouquet toss, and if you dance too hard, you're never more than three feet away from gatorade and when the reception was over, the couple left the gas station to a parking lot full of applause the crowd was clapping because they were happy for them, and because they had just eaten the best wedding cake of their lives. [ laughter ] i've seen a million weddings in my life, and i have to say, this is my favorite one of all time, because the focus wasn't on a fancy venue or a fancy reception, or a fancy ten-piece orchestra. instead, this wedding focused on the most important thing -- love and job opportunities. so - [ laughter ]

here's to you, logen and tiana, because this is the kind of story we need right now. [ cheers and applause ♪ we'll be right back with joel mchale, everybody ♪ here at papa johns, we know our stuff! so try our garlic epic stuffed crust pizza. made with our iconic garlic sauce flavor, mixed with cheese and hand stuffed into that papa johns original dough!

no one stuffs a crust like papa johns. (tony hawk) skating for over 45 years has taken a toll on my body. i take qunol turmeric because it helpse with healthy joints and inflammation support. why qunol? it has superior absorption compared to regular turmeric. qunol. the brand i trust. leftover chicken, scallions, cheese... what am i gonna make with this? "may-ow" mayo? "may-ow" hellmann's?? you can talk? ( ♪♪ ) a chicken salad sandwich. god i love you. ( ♪♪ ) (♪♪) grace didn't believe in magic. but her daughter was happy to prove her wrong. you were made to dream about it for years. we were made to help you book it in minutes. (♪♪) together is the best way to discover joy (♪♪)

kinder joy, open a world of surprise roll up to easter with fast and easy drive up. [ upbeat music plays ] drive up is fast, easy, and always free only at target. are you taking the right multi-vitamin? with new chapter, you get excellent quality, organic ingredients, and fermentation. fermentation? yes. feel the difference with 20 plus nutrients your body can absorb. so you can do you. learn more at newchapter.com. outback steakhouse has a new, three-course meal called the... aussie aussie aussie! all: oi! oi! oi! with soup or salad, choice of five entrées and cheesecake for dessert. all: oi! oi! oi! ...oi! it's three. three oi's. three courses, starting at $16.99, at outback for a limited time.

♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: give it up for the fantastic 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause also so exciting, sitting in with us this week, he's the drummer for dream car, and legendary band no doubt. the band is celebrating tragic kingdom's 30th anniversary next year, and will be performing for the first time in nine years at the coachella festival in april. adrian young is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause so great to have you, adrian, thanks for being here. our first guest tonight is an emmy-nominated actor and comedian you know from shows like "community," "the soup" and

"the bear. he stars in "animal control," which returns march 6th on fox please welcome back to the show our friend joel mchale, everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> what?

>> seth: you've been here before >> yeah. >> seth: you know what our vibe is >> this, wow, it's nice to breathe some life into this show [ laughter ] it's great to see that you have gym rash on bass right now or on guitar i've got a problem with you, seth >> seth: what's the problem? >> i notice you don't dress up anymore. >> seth: no. >> except for certain people >> seth: oh, yeah. i do, for certain people >> like the president? >> seth: yeah, i did >> you wore a tie. >> seth: yeah. >> and then for letterman, you wore a tie >> seth: yeah. >> springsteen, no tie >> seth: yeah, no tie, but i did wear a sports coat for springsteen. >> but then everybody else, slob >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> it really shows you how you treat your guests, what does annette bening get tomorrow night? >> seth: you'll have to tune in, my friend. >> well, okay. [ laughter ] i'm just going to dress down now. because, you know -- >> seth: i mean, know you're a fit guy, but are you regretting the stairs [ laughter ] >> yeah, i -- i think -- i think

i got a hole in my heart i -- i'm smelling burnt almonds. >> seth: yeah. >> and toast, i think. i had a stroke >> seth: did you know the gentlemen that you sort of hug humped >> that was my -- no, but i expect to be hearing from his lawyers anytime. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, no, he already went to h.r., don't point -- you're pointing to an empty seat, my friend >> i didn't think i would get cancelled this way [ laughter ] that's -- he's -- that's my uncle bill, everybody. >> seth: oh, that's so great, uncle bill >> it's not, it's not, it's not my uncle bill, i don't know that man. >> seth: yeah. you're already creating your defense. you're like, "he looked like my uncle bill." >> we thought he had died in the war. [ laughter ] what war world war ii >> seth: i know. >> thank you for having me >> seth: it's so good to have you. >> and we have the drummer from no doubt >> seth: it's pretty exciting. [ cheers and applause >> yeah, he got his haircut for the show

>> seth: yeah. i mean, he didn't know i don't wear suits, he was like, i got to do something nice >> oh, boy >> seth: you and i, we're very good friends, we -- and i think it speaks to our friendship that we managed to get past our football teams to play this year on new year's eve. the steelers and the seahawks. >> i don't know that first team that you said. >> seth: you just know the seahawks >> i just know the seahawks. yes, it's the only time i allow tribalism into my life is that i -- if the seahawks win, i have a great week, and then if they lose, i cut myself >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] we're very similar that way. >> you - >> seth: it's an irrational dumb thing. >> yep but it's the only -- i allow that in. and uh, i know that, look, your team has been rebuilding for the last 20 years. [ laughter ] and you have a number of - it's -- people auditioning for quarterback at this point. no, i'm sorry, i can't help it, i just hate all other teams. >> seth: yeah, i feel the same way.

>> and i love that team. >> seth: it's throughout your family your brother is a priest >> he is a priest. >> seth: in the bay area >> he's an episcopal priest so he has sex with his wife [ laughter ] yeah, don't worry about that >> seth: did he ask you to say that to everybody? he was like "if you bring it up, just let him know. >> yeah, he's constantly telling us, "just had sex with my wife," because we can >> seth: because we can. >> we broke away >> seth: he -- >> she's a minister too. >> seth: oh, really? >> she can only do hand stuff. [ laughter ] it's -- you know >> seth: why do you go -- another lap. you do another lap, mchale, think about what you said. >> you know, lutherans, right? uh all up in minnesota, just dirty as hell. [ laughter ] i don't know why i'm picking a fight with the - >> seth: i like that you're getting specific to both religions and regions. >> do you think the steelers are going to win the super bowl next year >> seth: every year i think.

>> that's what i think too i think it every year. >> seth: i'll place a wager, you know, if i'm in vegas for a show i'll see what the odds are for them in the super bowl as i place the bet, 80-1 you suckers, i can't wait -- when you see my face give me a big old pile of money. yeah, it's dumb. >> that's exactly. i'm literally like -- if we lose, which we did this year, maybe once, and i was like, "well, next year we're going to win. this is it we finally put it together so anyway, my brother. >> seth: he texted you i'm taunting my 49ers fans because he's a priest in the bay area >> in the bay area >> seth: by changing the church colors to blue and green, so these are seahawks colors. >> yeah, that's -- that's my brother. and, yeah, that's -- you can see he wears the glass frames of a giant. [ laughter ] and that's -- he posted that, which really shows you his - his 49er fan parishioners have -

>> seth: it does, you're right, those glasses, it looks like he lost a thousand pounds [ laughter ] >> he looks like he's in "a bug's life." [ laughter ] >> seth: you wrote to your priest brother, give them hell [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. i hate the 49ers i hate them. i hate them. they're always good. and i hate them. and then when they lost the super bowl because they didn't know the rules at the end, i was like, "why are you so happy? [ laughter ] you're such an ass [ bleep ] and i was like, it really gives me joy, it's bad. >> seth: well i'm glad >> are you a baseball or basketball >> seth: so i was released from baseball because i was a red sox fan, and once they won, i was just set free. i was like, "i have hope." in 2004, i was like, you've given me all i asked for, and i'm now no longer going to live and die 162 days a year. >> yeah, you left -- >> seth: i felt like the way pinnochio probably felt when he became a real boy. [ laughter ] >> that's dramatic >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ]

it was a lot, man, the red sox thing was a lot. >> where do they play? sorry, i can't help it because i'm a mariners fan and i don't give a [ bleep ] about anybody else yeah, it's - >> seth: your boys, we talked about your boys before and this makes me very happy, and by the way, i wonder where they got it. they're very sarcastic and mean to you >> they are, yes, if -- it would be very odd if they were fans of mine if they were like, "dad, you can do no wrong. >> seth: they're growing into the age where they can watch "community." >> they do watch "community" and when they're like, the episode was really good until you walked in [ laughter ] and they're like, "you know why? and i'm like why, "because you can't act. [ light laughter ] i'm like, "thank you, good." and then my 19-year-old, he was like, "how do you -- why do you think we've never bonded?" and i'm like "what the -- what kind of --" and then he's smiling, he's like, "yeah, we don't really know each other." [ laughter ] and i'm like this is -- and then the younger one, he -- if someone walks up to me and wants a photo, he will taunt the fan

he'll be like, "you're going to remember this one, huh?" [ laughter ] "it's just -- this is a big deal oh, wow, look at you, you're going to remember this." and i'd be like [ bleep ] you, what the -- i don't say that, i say [ bleep ] off -- [ laughter ] so they're -- they will watch this, and be like, "you know he's going to great, annette bening." and they will literally say that [ laughter ] >> seth: i got a lot more questions for you. be right back with more joel after this [ cheers and applause ♪

( ♪♪ ) ( ♪♪ ) nothing brings us together like eggland's best eggs. always so fresh and delicious. plus, superior nutrition. for us, it's eggs any style.

as long as they're the best. eggland's best. your shipping manager left to “find themself.” leaving you lost. you need to hire. i need indeed. indeed you do. indeed instant match instantly delivers quality candidates matching your job description. visit indeed.com/hire when it comes to your wellness routine, the details are the difference. dove men body wash, with plant-based moisturizers in harmony with our bodies, for healthier feeling skin. all these details add up to something greater. new dove man plant powered body wash. shopify's point of sale system helps you sell at every stage of your business. with fast and secure payment. card readers you can rely on. and one place to manage it all. whatever the stage, businesses that grow grow with shopify. you love pizza just as much as we love pizza so we're bringing you our favorite offer yet. for a limited time get a large, one topping pizza for 8.99,

only at papa johns. better ingredients, better pizza. perhaps you know me as, the kung fu panda. only at papa johns. ♪ ♪ ah, you're adorable. huh. oh, whah! bounced from one doctor to the next. did they even send my lab work...? wait, was i supposed to bring that? then there's the forms. the bills. the 'not a bills.' the.... ”press 4 to repeat these options.” [chaotic music] [inspirational music] healthcare can get a whole lot easier when your medical records, care and coverage are in one place.

at kaiser permanente, all of us work together for all that is you. >> look, clearly, what i've been doing is not shutting you up, so what's going to take your mind off emily? whatever that is, that's what we're doing today. >> really, like my own special day, like shreds day >> more like a long lunch, but sure >> whatever i want, you promise not to judge me? >> absolutely not, would you ask michelangelo not to sculpt >> i thought he was more of a nunchuck guy >> not the ninja turtle. >> i know. >> seth: welcome back to "late night," here with joel mchale. [ cheers and applause that was a clip from "animal control. >> yes >> seth: before we get to the show, you did a little real life animal control, you took your family to ireland. >> yes, and did the irish are animals.

i'm half irish, so i can say that >> seth: now what is this? it's a photo of -- you came across a mud pit >> yeah, you know, you go to ireland, see all the mud pits. [ laughter ] there, we were in this, i don't know, fjord like place and my kids were like, "we're bored," they're bored and your acting is bad, and my sister-in-law challenged her son to go touch a lamb because they're all over the place. and east like, i touched one you're like what, they scattered. and he was like, there's two of them trapped in a mud bug. and i was like, wow, what a day we're having and so, i saw them, and i was like, "this is an opportunity for social media." [ laughter ] and i pulled those lambs out >> seth: wow >> yeah, i pulled them out [ cheers and applause and then i slow roasted them for six hours. [ laughter ] and it was -- oh, it was - >> seth: worth it? >> it was so good. it was -- irish lamb is -- there's people right now going, oh >> seth: this is something you found in your home region, the pacific northwest. >> yes >> seth: this was called a gooey duck >> yeah, that's a gooey duck, so that's -

that's why you know that god is real, because he was drunk and was like, "i'm going to make a clam penis," and make it look kind of like a odd duck but that is -- this is where it breathes and spits, and it is in only in the northwest would we eat it all the time. and it isa delicacy -- and yeah, so that is a gooey duck. >> seth: have you had them, are they actually good >> oh yeah, i slap it in my face that's how you eat them, you slap them around [ laughter ] sorry. my mom is going to watch this and go, "it was fine until you got dirty. [ laughter ] yeah, that's a delicacy. it's really -- it actually is quite good that's on vashon island where my wife grew up yeah, just [ bleep ] everywhere. >> seth: there you go. [ light laughter ] >> have you ever had gooey duck? >> seth: no, i've never had a gooey duck, i don't think i'd want one >> is that a challenge >> seth: how are you going to get me to eat it >> i don't know. >> seth: all right [ light laughter ]

you -- "animal control," a lot of people will say, you know, don't work with animals, don't work with kids. you have obviously skip that lesson >> yeah. >> seth: how have your co-star animals been >> they've been good, we've had a lot of cool -- we had lemurs and bobcats and all these cool -- but we worked with a sloth, i've never really been scared except for the sloth. >> seth: which is interesting because a lot of people would be the least scared of a sloth. >> right and when the trainer, he was like, a lot of people think sloths are slow and friendly and he was like, "this one is neither. [ laughter ] and i'm like, "i'm so glad we have this one. and it was this big. it was as big as a golden retriever, and we -- i was climbing on this rock wall to try and pretend like i was saving it because it's hanging off doing some rock climbing and it did a very good job but its eyes are completely black, and they look -- it's looking like you're looking into the abyss of space.

then, it has fangs that if someone took real fangs and took a hammer, smashed them all up and then put them back inside of an animal, it is -- and then it smiles at you. [ laughter ] and, uh, and the trainer was - he -- i was like, "how close can i get? and he's like, "you're close enough now." [ light laughter ] and i was like, "have you been bit? >> he goes, "yeah, i have a lot of pictures of it. i was like, "again, this is great. [ laughter ] and i'm glad that we're working with the --" and then he ate like bananas whole with the peel, which was disturbing, the most disturbing thing i've ever seen [ laughter ] and we dated for like two weeks. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. it's great i think i saw that in us weekly. >> we had gooey ducks in vancouver. [ light laughter ] it was good. but yeah, it's fun, do you like animals? >> seth: eh. >> so if like -- do you have the trainers on to - >> seth: we had the trainers, and it actually was a sloth. i had a moment, the last animal

we had on, true story, i'm not just saying this, a sloth. i made eye contact with the sloth and i had this real sense, he doesn't want to be here >> right >> seth: i know that like the trainers are like this is cool, we're teaching people about sloths i think the sloth was like i'm good with nobody here knowing anything about me. >> okay. >> seth: i -- my anonymity in that world >> and the fingernails on it >> seth: yeah bad looking fingernails. >> they're this big and they make a tapping noise like they have live beatles. >> seth: that's how i knew he wasn't having fun as he did this the whole time [ laughter ] is this almost over? >> he was like, this guy didn't wear a sport coat so i'm not [ laughter ] >> seth: you, season one of the show that really -- and season two was also excellent you had a cameo on "the bear." >> yes, yeah >> seth: i was very excited when i saw it i remember i wrote you right away you played a real bad chef >> you mean the hero >> seth: okay, so you believe you are the hero, you are carm's former employer. >> i've never seen the show so i don't -- it's freaking -- it's -- no -- yeah

i was portraying chef thomas keller. he's going to be so happy i'm saying these things, and poison me if i ever meet him. but yeah, i don't think he's as awful as i was, but he does whisper at his employees >> seth: oh, really? >> yeah. you ever go behind -- walk up to elon and go like, "you call this keyboarding, what is this? >> seth: oh, you mean do i whisper during the show? yeah, no, i just text them yeah >> you [ bleep ] it up again [ laughter ] my favorite songs, yeah, no, it's - the guy who -- chris store who wrote that show is the boyfriend of gillian jacobs who was -- >> seth: of course on "community." >> on "community" and he asked if i would come in and get hair transplants for the show and i was like absolutely, and wear these same glasses, so, no, it was really fun and i found it really interesting that he -- "the bear" won best comedy, and "succession" won best drama. >> seth: yeah. >> and i was like, "i feel

like - >> seth: it's true they're both wonderful shows, and it is weird how -- i do feel like one is just half an hour and one is an hour >> and poor "abbott elementary" is in the middle and they're like what the [ bleep ]. we're right here, it's really fun to be on the show. >> seth: it's always such a delight to have you here, buddy. thank you so much for making the time >> oh, i'm not leaving this is still going. [ cheers and applause we'll be right back with joel mchale. >> seth: "animal control - >> thank you for having me guys. >> seth: starts march 6th. we'll be right back with more "late night. [ cheers and applause ♪ (oldest girl) someday, i'll be the first female president. of the universe. (middle boy) someday, i'm gonna marry my baseball glove. probably in vegas. (youngest girl) someday, i'll help all balloon animals roam free. (vo) there are a lot of miles between today and “someday”. your long-lasting three-row subaru ascent will get your family there. ninety-six percent of subaru vehicles sold in the past ten years are still on the road.

(middle boy) someday, i'll be able to read dogs' minds. he's thinking squirrels. when you put in the effort, but it starts to frizz... you skipped a step. tresemmé silk serum. use before styling for three days of weightlessly smooth hair that frizz can't beat. new tresemmé keratin smooth collection. every day, more dog people are deciding it's time for a fresh approach to pet food. developed with vets. made from real meat and veggies. portioned for your dog. and delivered right to your door. it's smarter, healthier pet food. ok, with me. ♪laalaalaalaalaa.♪ ♪loolooloolooloo.♪

[piano key sounds] sniffs [shake] [crash] oooops. froot loops. find the loopy side! hey ump! you need your eyes checked! yeah, things are getting fuzzy! then go to america's best! why? for a comprehensive, quality eye exam! sounds good! it is! i'll go! good call! america's best. because eye care is healthcare - and you deserve the best. you know those mornings becau when it takes just acare little bit extra to get you out of bed? this might be it. wake up to the goodness of jimmy dean. [traffic noise] [text message] let's ace this thing!

♪ ♪ i got you coffee. oh my god, what? you literally read my mind. got you, girl. this is decision 2024, super tuesday. here are lester holt and savannah guthrie. >> good evening, everyone. welcome to our nbc news coverage of super tuesday. >> this is a decisive night that will shape the 2024 race for president with residents in 16 states and one u.s. territory cassing their votes today to determine their party's nominee.

determine their party's nominee. it is shaping up to be a big (smelling) ew. gotta get rid of this. ♪tell me why♪ because it stinks. ♪have you tried downy rinse and refresh♪ it helps remove odors 3x better than detergent alone. it worked guys! ♪yeahhhh♪ downy rinse and refresh. my frequent heartburn had me taking antacid after antacid all day long but with prilosec otc just one pill a day

blocks heartburn for a full 24 hours. for one and done heartburn relief, prilosec otc. one pill a day, 24 hours, zero heartburn. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: welcome back to "late night. have you guys noticed the recent trend of online product testing articles they are everywhere. for example this one "new york times" after testing 23 knife sharpeners we found the best one. and this one, after testing 32 air fryers, this one crisps food the best. well, we here at late night wanted to get in on the game and make sure that you know which baking sheet is the best one out of all the options on the market so we asked our writer, john lutz to test 48 different baking sheets. [ light laughter ] in our new segment, "john lutz product tester." [ cheers and applause ♪

[ light laughter ] >> why would you make me do this >> seth: it's my show and i want people to find the best baking sheet. >> who cares about baking sheets >> seth: people in the market for baking sheets. >> no one's in the market for baking sheets you just buy a baking sheet >> seth: people deserve to know what the best one is >> they're baking sheets they all look the [ bleep same [ light laughter ] they all work the [ bleep same, there's no best, there's no worst actually, this one's pretty bad. [ laughter ] it's not good at all >> seth: which one's that? >> no, i'm not participating in this all right, so the cooper ultra nonstick ceramic baking sheet and i'm only giving it two out of five rolling pins [ ding ] [ light laughter ] >> seth: you have a grading scale? >> well, just because i hated

doing this doesn't mean i'm going to do a bad job, okay. >> seth: why only two out of five >> well, okay. durable non-stick coating just on the interior and not the exterior, can't be above 550 degrees in the oven, is this a baking sheet or a [ bleep ] paper plate? [ laughter ] >> seth: see now viewers can eliminate that one. is that the -- only one that can eliminate? [ light laughter ] >> yes okay well, this one stinks too >> seth: okay. is it also non-stick >> they're all non-stick, seth all of them. at this point, every pan in the world is non-stick it's 2024, seth. good lord! can i just review it, please >> seth: sure. >> one out of five rolling pins. >> seth: why >> well, okay, well, look, the rolled edges aren't thick enough

to prevent warping and the heat distribution is so off it's like what are we even doing here, folks. >> seth: lutz, i've got to say it sound like you really got into this. >> no, no. okay, actually, this one's really, really good. this one here, this one sits better than this one, better than this one, and better than this one oh, well, this one's good if you want to make horse [ bleep ] on it you want to bake horse [ bleep ]. are you a horse [ bleep baker seth [ laughter ] cause that's the one you want for horse [ bleep ]. >> seth: do you want to talk about one of the good ones >> no. okay, but if i were -- i'd say this one right here gets four out of five rolling pins >> seth: oh, four out of five. >> i know, right >> seth: not all of them, is it - the best >> maybe >> seth: is there one that's maybe better

>> maybe [ light laughter ] >> seth: one that if someone wanted to buy a baking sheet, you'd recommend more highly than all the others >> one that mixes affordability and technology effortlessly? >> seth: yes, one that does that >> yes, yes there's one that does that, of course there is! there's always a best in life, there's always a best one, where is it? [ cookie sheet banging ] this is it [ light laughter ] this baking sheet is special >> seth: can i see it? >> don't you touch it. [ light laughter ] >> seth: what's it called? >> this is the nordic ware natural aluminum commercial baker's half sheet and it's if -- it's as if christ died for our sins so that this pan could exist. >> seth: if you want to talk

about the specs -- >> no, yes, no, of course -- yeah, of course i do >> seth: the floor is yours. >> okay, food bakes evenly it's got reenforced steel rims that prevent warping, and add strength it adds strength, seth, it adds it [ laughter ] >> seth: is it affordable? >> yes [ laughter ] yes, yes, yes, it's affordable it's only $21. it's cheap it's cheap compared to - compared to this [ bleep ] monstrosity. [ light laughter ] look at this thing look at how small -- you could cook one cookie on this [ bleep ] piece of [ bleep ] why is it red? [ laughter ] >> seth: aren't you glad we did

this >> i don't know. >> seth: well, we're going to do it again next month with 86 coat hooks. [ laughter ] "product tester john lutz. we'll be right back with more "late night! [ cheers and applause ♪ i splurged a little because liberty mutual customized my car insurance and i saved hundreds. that's great. i know, right? i've been telling everyone. baby: liberty. did you hear that? ty just said her first word. can you say “mama”? baby: liberty. can you say “auntie”? baby: liberty. how many people did you tell? only pay for what you need. jingle: ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ baby: ♪ liberty. ♪ roll up to easter with fast and easy drive up.

jingle: ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ [ upbeat music plays ] drive up is fast, easy, and always free only at target. i'm adding downy unstopables to my wash. now i'll be smelling fresh all day long. [sniff] still fresh. ♪♪ get 6x longer-lasting freshness, plus odor protection. try for under $5! outback steakhouse has a new, three-course meal called the... aussie aussie aussie! all: oi! oi! oi! with soup or salad, choice of five entrées and cheesecake for dessert. all: oi! oi! oi! ...oi! it's three. three oi's. three courses, starting at $16.99, at outback for a limited time. (♪♪)

together is the best way to discover joy (♪♪) kinder joy, open a world of surprise ( ♪♪ ) ( ♪♪ ) leftover chicken, scallions, cheese... what am i gonna make with this? "may-ow" mayo? best foods?? you can talk? and then she says... "may-ow" ...and boom—best foods saves the leftovers. she can't spell. "may-ow" it's mine! and now our keynote speaker... "may-ow" pete... is it serious? you lasted longer than most. "may-ow"

( ♪♪ ) you made a cow! actually it's a piggy bank. my inspiration to start saving. how about a more solid way to save? i'm listening. well, bmo helps get your savings habit into shape with a cash reward, every month you save. both: cash reward? and there's a cash bonus

when you open a new checking account to get you started. wow. anything you can't do? ( ♪♪ ) mugs. ♪ bmo ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: our next guest is a very funny comedian you know from shows like "those who can't. he is currently on his "it's not a tour, it's the job tour," and his latest stand-up special "dirt nap" is on sale now. let's take a look. >> like my dad still -- my dad will still have a steak with a glass of milk. [ light laughter ] yeah you trying to put it back together inside of you what's - [ laughter ] some sort of culinary ship in a bottle you're trying to build down there yeah, i got an idea, let's get your old racing leathers on, you can cosplay the whole [ bleep ] thing, how about that? [ laughter ] >> seth: please, welcome to the show kyle kinane, everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪

♪ >> seth: welcome to the show, kyle >> thanks for having me, you guys swear a lot more. >> seth: we do we realized early on no one was paying attention >> that's -- yeah, i kind of picked that up >> seth: it's very jarring when even when backstage to say hello, when i first walked in i assumed you were not there yet, because your beard, your very iconic beard is off. >> i'm between looks [ laughter ] every three or four years i've got to shave, just to make sure i still have the same jaw line as a dachshund [ laughter ] still just top teeth and an adam's apple all right, great >> seth: "dirt nap" is a unique title for a stand-up special >> yeah. >> seth: and it's also the name of your cat. >> yeah, yeah. all right, p -little dirty, she's up there in heaven now it was a stray cat that was living in the yard of this house we moved into. and you can't really name a

stray cat, so it went through some iterations, at first we were calling it helen. we thought it was blind and deaf [ light laughter ] so my girlfriend named it that [ laughter ] my girlfriend named it that, so you're not mad at me, you're mad at her and then i was calling it dirt nap on account of, you know, it would just sleep in the dirt and it looked deceased like most of the time. [ laughter ] >> seth: and how many -- so it seemed like you maybe didn't get a lot of good years with dirt nap. >> we got three great years, i'll tell you. >> seth: that's pretty good. >> we found out it was a 16-year-old cat -- it was a 16-year-old stray cat that we're like, "we're going to give this thing the best sunset we can give it. >> seth: well that's fantastic you did that >> we loved that little crabapple hanging out there. >> seth: you're on the road all the time, but you recently got a house in the burbs you're living in the portland suburbs. >> no, that's the chicago burbs. i wear this hat because i hear, "you're from chicago where? i'm like, "out where the tornado

starts." yeah, i'm living easy now, man >> seth: do you like burb living >> i think so. like, i've never owned a home before in my life, and so it's -- i always said i was going to rent forever. and then now i like -- there's a freedom in renting that i know is like an issue but now if i clog my toilet, it's my toilet >> seth: yeah. >> and there was like a nice power shift when someone you refer to as a lord, you have to call to come unclog a toilet excuse me, my leej, can you lay down your septer, domino's was having a two for one last night. [ laughter ] i really bricked this bitch out, so you might want to roll the sleeves up on that golden robe [ laughter ] >> seth: this is very sweet. i think it's true of a lot of people in comedy, you usually have one or two parents who are into comedy, and your mom would let you stay up late, would watch "carson" with you. >> yeah, i would watch johnny carson as a little kid, which my kindergarten teacher thought was irresponsible parenting. so - >> seth: i would say it's pretty late at night for a

kindergartner. >> well, you had kindergarten that started in the morning and one that started in the afternoon. i was in the one that started in the afternoon. my mom is a night owl. so, she's like, "well, i'm watching johnny carson i'm up my kid may as well with up watching johnny carson with me." and so i would watch, you know -- and i didn't even know what stand-up was. and you'd have bands, or you would have actors that were on it, but then you just have one person show up at the end and just talk. and i'm like, "that's the job? i'll just do that. i won't even worry about the tvs or the movies or learning instruments. i'll just do the talking part, and then i'll be cool. >> seth: but you did do the instrument part for a little bit. you actually have a similar trajectory to our band leader fred armisen, who was in a band called trench mouth. he was a drummer for them. and then he thought music was going to be his thing, and found his way into comedy. you were in a punk band as well. >> yeah, yeah. grand marquee, shout out to any five people out there, four of the guys who were in the band watching this, and my sister who

came to the shows, thank you yeah, it was -- you know, it was just like you just -- that's what you did nobody had any futures you're from the suburbs, you're going to burn out. let's be in a band and then stand-up comedy came around -- like i don't have to load any gear or organize -- find out what three other drunks are going to do this weekend i'll just do the stand-up thing. >> seth: do you love -- i would imagine having been in a band, nothing the better than doing a stand-up show where you do your sound check and it's literally 30 seconds >> oh, every sound guy at every venue loves stand-up i was misinterpreting it as like the people that work at the venue really like my comedy. they're like, "no, they just like that you don't have to sound check five hours before the show." and deal with the temperaments of six different people on a crew like, "we love your act. "funny?" "no, no, you're just easy to work with. that's all, we don't care. [ laughter ] "humor is not for me but just one microphone, it's on, i go take a nap. it's fine. [ laughter ] >> seth: do you have early -- there's a lovely craft to a lot of stuff you do. but we always see the stuff that works, and early comedy, you have a lot of stuff that you put a lot of heart into, but then it

fails with the audience. >> yeah. i mean, those are the best jokes, though. >> seth: yeah. you got one that - >> we all saw the baking pan sketch you guys were having fun, right? >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> i could tell you guys were having a blast >> seth: we had a lot of fun >> who cares about them? you guys had fun >> seth: i don't know who's going to die first, lutz or i, but we're going to talk about it at the funeral [ laughter ] >> that's -- okay, that was the joke i was at a wake, which is, you know, always you're just thinking comedy at a wake. [ light laughter ] and i was in -- you know like funeral homes have like break rooms in them. where you get coffee and like -- >> seth: cause people are still working. >> i've been grieving for four hours, union rules, i've got to go take -- i got to get a smoke and a coffee so there's like -- there's like that, i was in that area and then funeral homes will, like, like businesses sponsor little league teams, and you always put the pictures out and so this funeral home

sponsors a little league team, and they had all the pictures of different little league teams up with the name of the funeral home on the jerseys. and it was -- i wrote it down. there's got to be something funny. and then i realized -- so the joke was that like my grandfather and my father both served in the military i did not serve in the military, but i was on a little league team sponsored by a funeral home, so i do know the honor involved in wearing a uniform that thousands of people have died for [ laughter ] and it -- like -- okay, you guys are laughing now, but you should have checked in with me 20 years ago. >> seth: did we switch out the audiences after the pan sketch [ laughter ] >> that's -- i'm like this one's great and people are like, "boo, you weren't there. "no, i wasn't, that was the point of the joke. oh, whatever >> seth: congratulations, the eighth special that's really impressive congratulations on that. >> thank you, thank you, thank

you. [ cheers and applause >> seth: thank you so much for being here, kyle such an honor. kyle kinane, everybody "dirt nap" is available on 800 pound gorilla. for more info go to kylekinane.com we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ♪

no two bodies are the same. some pads, never got that message. but, always flexfoam did! it protects against different flows for up to zero leaks. and it flexes to fit all bodies, for up to zero feel. feel it yourself with always flexfoam. ♪ upbeat music ♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ deep breath. cancer is a journey you don't take alone. you did it! our cancer care team works together to care for all that is you. you can make money the hard way as a bullfighter or a human cannonball... or save money the easy way, with xfinity mobile.

existing customers can get a free line of our most popular unlimited plan for a year! not only will you save hundreds but you'll also be joining millions who have connected to america's most reliable 5g network. sure is a lot safer than becoming a stuntman for money. get a free line of unlimited intro for a year when you buy one unlimited line. visit xfinitymobile.com today to learn more. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: i want to thank my guests joel mchale and kyle kinane everybody. i want to thank adrian young and the 8g band. thank you for watching we love you everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪