tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC April 12, 2024 11:34pm-12:37am PDT
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most impactful and delicious events of thier in wine country. some of the best chefs will be competing, pairing their dishes with some of the best cabernets. all in the name of charity. and some hollywood celebrities are involved too. we are talking about the annual cabernet cookoff a happening tomorrow at whole wines in st. helena. 14 chefs from noticeable restaurants will be bringing their skills to the vineyard. if you have a ticket, you get to sip and vote on the best dish. among the judges, chef ken frank, actress katherine o'hara from "beetlejuice." and our own raj mathai. raj, he always does these boujie great eating, great wine events. we've got to start copying raj. [ laughter ] >> how is the weather going to look for that event? >> and they will be tempted. >> yeah. the timing is going to be what will impact a lot of events. we will get heavy rain. the good news, it looks like overnight majority of that heavy rain for the north bay even, but it will be scattered throughout the afternoon, with
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a chance for thunderstorms and windy, where it will taper off by sunday and the temperatures will go from the 70s back into the 70s with a calmer weather pattern by next week. >> all right, thank you so much [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- jesse eisenberg, susie essman, comedian, nathan macintosh. and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 1961. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on. that's a hot crowd. thank you very much. enjoy yourself. sit down, relax, enjoy yourself. welcome to "the tonight show," everybody. thank you for watching at home, thanks for being here. well, guys, we're just one week away from the release of taylor swift's new album, "the tortured poets department." [ cheers and applause ] if you thought you felt an earthquake last friday, just wait 'til next friday. yeah. less than -- just seven days away. less than seven days. seven. six. five, four, three, two, one. [ "rhythm nation" by janet jackson ] ♪
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[ cheers ] can't do that dance. anyway. [ laughter ] that's right, a new taylor album is gonna come out. when they heard that she's back with new music, the ceo of michaels was like, "beads, we're gonna need more beads people. we need more beads!" [ laughter ] well, guys, quick reminder. it is that time of year. this monday is tax day. [ groans ] or as trump calls it, monday. and -- [ laughter ] i have an accountant. you guys know my accountant, vinnie boombatz. i don't know about this guy. whenever i ask what the refund's gonna be, he's like, "hey, what do you want it to be." [ laughter ] he's a terrible accountant. every time i see him, "he pats me down looking for a wire." [ laughter ] i'm telling you, my accountant is the worst. last night, he asked me for my i-9s, my bb-8s, and my r2-d2s. [ laughter ] i go what is this guy -- [ applause ] he doesn't know what he's doing. "whatever you want it to be." everyone's working on their taxes. and get this, we actually got our hands on former president trump's tax return, and it's -- >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: -- it's pretty interesting. take a look.
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first up, under gross income, he wrote, "selling bibles for $60." [ laughter ] that's -- that's pretty gross. that's pretty gross. next, under marital status, he wrote, "it's complicated." [ laughter ] and finally, under place of residency, he wrote, "court." that's where he's going to be. [ cheers and applause ] he's got a lot. well, speaking of trump, on monday, here in new york city, his first ever criminal trial begins. as we speak, trump is frantically adding a second red line on a covid test with a a magic marker. [ laughter ] he's like, "i think i need a a couple weeks off." [ cheers and applause ] yeah, everyone's gearing up for trump's criminal trial which is set to start this coming monday. right now, the courts are counting down the days like, "five, four, three, two, one." [ "rhythm nation" by janet jackson ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] guys, some big entertainment news. gerry, "the golden bachelor," and his wife, theresa, just
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announced that they are getting a divorce. [ audience aws ] after -- don't laugh that loud, come on. this is -- [ laughter ] after just three months of marriage. yeah. you could tell the relationship was in trouble a few weeks ago, when gerry turned off his hearing aids. [ laughter ] you know? you go -- "gerry, are you listening to me?" apparently, the marriage got off to a rocky start. gerry said, "even with all the glaucoma, i saw this coming." [ laughter ] did you guys see this? it was just announced today that a japanese astronaut will become the first non-american ever to land on the moon. yep, and shohei ohtani just signed up his interpreter to be the test pilot. [ cheers and applause ] "you go, you go." that's right, japan is sending an astronaut to the moon. they're going to take off. it's going to be like, "we're gonna take off in, five, four, three, two, one. [ "rhythm nation" by janet jackson ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ >> jimmy: janet jackson! [ cheers and applause ] janet jackson. janet jackson is in the house! come on, now. that's what i'm talking about. that's -- [ cheers and applause ] that's right. >> thank you. >> jimmy: why -- why are you -- why are you -- [ cheers and applause ] janet, it's great to see you, why -- why -- why did you stop by? what -- why did you grace us with your presence? >> you know, i'm here rehearsing for my "together again" tour. >> jimmy: oh, that's great. [ cheers and applause ] it was great. >> i -- by the way, i want to thank everyone for making this the most successful tour to date in -- in -- in -- in my career.
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>> jimmy: is that right? [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. and -- and -- >> jimmy: that's a big deal. >> you know, it's -- it's -- it's a global tour. we're -- we're taking this everywhere. and even though i'm about to start the second portion, the second part of the american leg in june -- >> jimmy: in june you're starting up again? >> yeah, in june. so, there are a lot of new surprises and definitely new music this time. and i saw you out here -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> -- messing up my stuff. what's all the -- i got to teach you how to do this properly. >> jimmy: i don't know how to do that. >> come on, let's -- listen, and then i got to get back to rehearsal. >> jimmy: okay, it's five -- >> no, no, no. that's wrong already. >> jimmy: oh, thank you. five, four -- >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: no, four. >> no. >> together: five, four -- >> jimmy: three -- >> three. >> together: two, one. [ "rhythm nation" by janet jackson ] ♪ >> you know what? i'll see you in june. >> jimmy: i'll see you on tour. >> i'll see you. >> jimmy: i'll see you on the tour. >> thank you. >> jimmy: janet jackson, everybody. that's how you do it. [ cheers and applause ] [ "rhythm nation" by janet jackson ] ♪ that's janet jackson. ♪
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that's the best. come on! i'm never washing this hand again. oh, so cool. isn't that fun? janet jackson just came by. wow, she saw my bad dancing. [ cheers and applause ] that dancing was so bad. guys listen to this. new york city is trying to slow the growing rat population by introducing a new sweet-tasting birth control. [ laughter ] according to experts, 2 rats can produce 15,000 babies a a year. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: yeah. or even more if they're irish. [ laughter and applause ] well, this is amazing. three fishermen, who were stranded on a desert island in the pacific ocean, were rescued after three weeks thanks to a a sign that they made out of leaves that said "help." this is real, we have a photo. take a look at this. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah, and that wasn't the only sign they made while they were stranded.
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>> steve: really? >> jimmy: yeah they also wrote, "need food, water, and tiktok." [ laughter and applause ] they did that. then they wrote, "send taylor's album." [ cheers and applause ] they're on an island. and finally, they wrote, "uber is saying it's 500,000 minutes away." [ laughter ] that's -- i don't think they're coming. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ now finally, guys, you know, sometimes i see a picture in the news and it's capturing one thing, but it actually gives me a totally different feeling. you know what i'm talking about? i'll show you what i mean in a a segment called "that feeling when." here we go. ♪ t-t-t-t that feeling ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: like -- like for instance, we have a picture here. this is vladimir putin eating a a meal. but it reminds me of, "that feeling when you can't remember which tomato you poisoned." [ laughter and applause ] "is it that one?" "that one." like this next one is a picture of a scottish politician at a a public event.
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but it reminds me of, "that feeling when you're trying to make the salesperson feel good even though you have no intention of buying." [ laughter and applause ] you're like, "for me? yeah, thank you." here's one of joe biden at dinner. okay? but that reminds me of, "that feeling when the best man's speech is hitting the 25-minute mark." [ cheers and applause ] next up, we have two soccer players celebrating on the field. but it reminds me of, "that feeling when you just got to reenact that scene from 'the notebook.'" [ cheers and applause ] it's like, "let's -- are you feeling it? let's do this." here's a picture of two swimmers performing a routine. but it reminds me of, "that feeling when marco polo is getting serious." it's like, all right. [ laughter and applause ] "marco. marco?" and here's our last one. it's another picture of president biden. but it reminds me of, "that feeling when you took your pills, forgot you took your pills, then took more pills." [ cheers and applause ] that's all the time we have for "that feeling when."
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we have a great show! jesse eisenberg is here! [ cheers and applause ] susie essman is joining us! and we got great stand-up comedy from nathan macintosh! stick around. we'll be right back with more "tonight show," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: can i ask, and we don't have to air this, did you run into any sasquatches? [ laughter ] >> yeah, no, i'm happy to say, we ran into, like, so many real sasquatches. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> yes. >> jimmy: they came -- they came out for the film? >> it's just so weird. like, every time they were there, we decided not to, like, film them. >> jimmy: that's so smart. >> yeah. >> jimmy: out of respect. >> out of respect, and we just want to, kind of, keep the mystery alive. >> jimmy: yeah.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. welcome back. first, we got a lot of -- we got a lot of business to get to tonight. first off, the fallon book club spring read winner is official, it is "nightwatching," by tracy sierra. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this is the book. we got a little fallon book club sticker. we have a f.b.c. -- fallon book club -- sticker, so -- to make it official. >> steve: ooh, nice. >> jimmy: yeah, that's an expensive sticker. >> steve: yeah, that's -- [ light laughter ] that's first class. >> jimmy: yeah, so we're all
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gonna read this book together. i have not read this book. but we all voted that this is the book to read together. [ laughter ] so i have no idea, but you want to hear what it's about? >> steve: i would love it. >> audience: yeah. >> jimmy: "home alone with her young children during a a blizzard, a mother hears a a noise." ♪ sounds like cymbals. sounds like cymbals. ♪ no, "a mother hears a noise. but the sound is disturbingly familiar -- it's the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. ♪ she catches a glimpse of him, and at once knows her is situation is even more dire than she feared, because she knows exactly who he is and what he wants." >> steve: what? [ audience oohs ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. this is -- yeah, it says, "nightmarish, you won't be able to look away." >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: this is "nightwatching." this is the book. tracy sierra's the author. this is a debut author. >> steve: yeah, great. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tracy's first book. i'm excited about it, great reviews. i just want to show you how fun this is. when we first started this a a couple of weeks ago, we had
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like, kind of a march madness bracket about books. here it is here. it was -- on amazon -- can you zoom in there to the highlighted thing? it was number 20,143 in books. [ light laughter ] since we announced yesterday, or two days ago, that this is the winner -- can you zoom in there? number 46! [ cheers and applause ] that's -- that's what i'm talking about. ♪ that's what i'm talking about! "nightwatching," how fun. yeah. we gotta get this from -- where is it now? so now it's at 46, we gotta get it from 46 down to 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. [ "rhythm nation" by janet jackson ] ♪ so, follow us on our socials @fallonbookclub and use the hashtag #fallonbookclub and then we can all read this. i'll give you a couple weeks, and then everyone get into it. get the book, go to your library, get it out of -- check it out of the library, start reading this, and then we'll all experience it together. it's gonna be fun. it's a book club. [ cheers and applause ] i love this! i'm in a great mood!
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>> steve: what? >> jimmy: happy friday. i'm in a fantastic mood tonight. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] [ loud slurping ] [ light laughter ] >> steve: oh, my god. >> jimmy: fantastic. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: yeah, i got some hot soup there. >> steve: is that soup? what kind of soup is it? >> jimmy: i only have soup in a a mug. that's what i do. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: it's like a bone broth. >> steve: oh really, a bone broth? you make it yourself? >> jimmy: yeah, i made it with just -- i found some bones. >> steve: right. [ light laughter ] in the street? yeah, on the street? >> jimmy: just on the street, yeah, street bone. [ light laughter ] ♪ no, no, no. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: i'm in a great mood though. >> really? >> jimmy: i'm really happy. well, i'm excited. taylor swift has a new album coming out, this is good. [ cheers and applause ] we love taylor. we love taylor. she's a good friend of the show, always comes on. and i'm excited, this is a big deal. a lot of new songs, it's gonna fun. "the tortured poets department." >> steve: i can't wait. >> jimmy: i feel sometimes like a tortured poet. >> steve: really? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i actually -- yeah, i actually wrote a poem i'd like to read tonight. >> steve: whoa. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: yeah. well, it's not -- it's not really based on anything. but -- all right. james, can i get some like, type of -- maybe like some harpsichord? like poetry writing music? ♪ [ light laughter ] godzilla kong, godzilla kong, your movies, they're oh-so many. you wrestle around, and roll on the ground, just get a room already! [ cheers and applause ] uh, yeah. >> steve: bone broth! >> tariq: hey, jimmy, i'd like to read a poem, if it's cool. >> jimmy: oh, sure, tariq would like to read a poem as well. [ cheers and applause ] james, can we get some music for tariq? ♪ >> tariq: the kentucky derby is upon us. it's a wonderful race i must be honest. i lost a few bets, then lost all the rest. now my kids, they ain't gonna go to college. [ laughter and applause ]
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>> questlove: hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: that's pretty good. >> questlove: jimmy, jimmy, jimmy! >> jimmy: what's up? >> questlove: let me -- let me read one. >> jimmy: uh, i don't think we have time. >> questlove: come on, man, let me read one. >> jimmy: no, no, no. [ cheers ] we don't have time. no way. we have things to get to. >> questlove: hit me, hit me, hit me. all right. [ clears throat ] the golden bachelor isn't smilin'. [ light laughter ] ♪ for divorce, he's recently filin'. [ light laughter ] he's over the hill but can pop a blue pill and start on really old f-boy island. >> jimmy: oh, my god, well that's -- [ cheers and applause ] that's not bad. quest, that's not bad. >> steve: hey, jim, i got one. i got one. >> jimmy: what? >> steve: i got one. >> jimmy: you got one? >> steve: i wrote one, jim. >> jimmy: higgins, go for it, bud. you kiddin' me? come on. >> steve: i'm gonna read it. >> jimmy: ooh, you got it really folded small. [ laughter ] >> steve: i don't want anybody to -- >> jimmy: how many times did you fold it? >> steve: i folded it 'bout six times. [ paper crinkling ] ♪ i love the month of april, when spring becomes alive.
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i stroll through the fields with the sun on my face, and then i [ bleep ] my pants. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: more "tonight show." when we come back jesse eisenberg will be here. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm gonna show you this, but we're gonna have to blur it out when we do show it. but i can't believe this is real. >> somebody actually -- >> jimmy: someone actually defaced -- >> -- actually defaced the billboard. [ audience ohs ] ♪ [ applause ] i mean, how great is that? >> jimmy: are you kidding me? l♪ ♪ and doug ♪ hello, ghostbusters. it's doug... ... of doug and limu. we help people customize and save hundreds on car insurance with liberty mutual. anyway, we got a bit of a situation here. ♪♪ uh-huh. uh-huh.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is an oscar-nominated actor starring in the new film, "sasquatch sunset," which is in select theaters now and goes nationwide april 19th. please welcome jesse eisenberg! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's exactly right, come on. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's got to feel good. >> yeah. >> jimmy: jesse eisenberg, welcome back to the program. you look sharp, and i -- >> likewise, thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: i'm happy that you're here. thank you for coming back. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: we have a lot to talk about. i want to talk about "sasquatch sunset." >> yes. >> jimmy: it's very fun and very interesting. different. i've never seen anything quite like it. >> yeah. nor will you ever again.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, all right. thank you, yeah. >> yeah. yes, no, it's the most unusual thing i've ever gotten to do. and it's absolutely brilliant, charming, funny, emotional. but we are all playing sasquatches. there's four characters in the movie. and we are head-to-toe fully sasquatch. >> jimmy: yeah, but before i get into that -- >> sure. >> jimmy: i want to ask you about -- i want to ask -- a lot of your fans out there of the "now you see me" films -- >> oh, yes. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, hey. >> jimmy: there's two -- they were two giant blockbusters. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and now, there's talk that there's a third that's going to be made. >> yes. you know -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's happening? >> this is -- yeah, it's happening. you know, the world has been asking for it. and, you know, we said yes. >> jimmy: yeah! >> uh, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how exciting is it -- >> that's right. >> jimmy: you started shooting already? >> no, we start, like, in two months. oh, it's just wonderful. it's like the, you know, most incredible group of people. the movies are so much fun. and it gives the public the illusion that i have some amazing skill set with magic. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you have any magical skills? >> no, nothing. i have, like, a deficit. you can ask any random person in the world, they'd be a
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a better magician than me. i just, you know, i don't have coordination or -- or cleverness or -- >> jimmy: really? >> -- the ability to lie to people. yeah. >> jimmy: so -- this is just straight acting in this film. >> it's pure, amazing acting. >> jimmy: but when you walk down the street, people go, "you're a great magician." >> yes, yes. "can you please -- here. it's my child's birthday. do something to entertain them." >> jimmy: yeah, i know. >> and then, i tell a little, you know, snide joke, which is what i'm known for. and i move on, and they are traumatized. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. so, we can look forward to number three. >> yeah. >> jimmy: now, let's get back and talk about sasquatch. "sasquatch sunset." you're all head-to-toe dressed as sasquatch. >> that's right. yes. so, it's about these four sasquatches over the course of a year, kind of -- you know, trying to survive in the wilderness. and it's so hard to describe, because there's really nothing like it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but, in like five minutes -- after, like, watching it for like five minutes, you realize you're kind of just watching this movie about a family. [ audience awws ] >> jimmy: yeah, i want to show you as a sasquatch. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and here's you. >> yes. [ laughter and awws ]
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>> jimmy: i mean, you're really kind of charming. >> i am -- yeah. so, basically -- [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much. >> jimmy: they love it already. >> see, that's amazing. >> jimmy: "sasquatch susnset." they're loving it already. >> and so, the movie is like this, but it's moving all the time. [ laughter ] and yeah, i play kind of like -- so, people think of sasquatches, of course, as like, you know, these kind of hulking, maybe aggressive creatures, you know. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but i play kind of like the poet. so, my character is like kind of this thoughtful sasquatch. here i am with a butterfly. >> jimmy: aww. >> and you know, only poets like butterflies. and so -- >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> yeah, so it's -- it -- it really shows, like, kind of the other side of this mythical creature. >> jimmy: yeah. and how did it feel to see yourself acting as -- >> it was okay. i mean, the truth is i, like, avoid watching myself in anything. in fact, i haven't, like, seen myself in a movie in like 15 years 'cause i just get self-conscious, you know. and hearing the sound of my voice and all that stuff. >> jimmy: so, this is a relief for you? you get to go -- >> i thought that it would be a a relief you know, i thought, "okay, this is great. i'm going to be fully in costume. i don't talk, i just grunt." and of course, i saw the movie for the first time, and i was like, "oh, god, that's how i grunt?" you know.
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[ laughter ] you know, it's like hearing your grunt on an answering machine. >> jimmy: there you go. "oh, god, i could have grunted better. this is awful." >> yeah. i was looking -- all of my gripes about my physical body were also imposed upon the sasquatch. my posture is bad. even for the missing link, my posture is bad. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. your posture is bad. your posture is actually fantastic. >> thank you. i've been working on it in antic -- in anticipation for tonight. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, see -- yeah. no, no. i meant in the movie. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks, thanks, thanks, yeah. >> jimmy: in general, your posture is good. but you went to like a -- you went to like a boot camp, right? >> yes. we did like a sasquatch boot camp. >> jimmy: i can't believe that exists. >> it doesn't. >> jimmy: okay, perfect. [ laughter ] >> and so -- it was like -- it was a bespoke boot camp. it's not like we all signed up for, you know, the davos. so, basically -- yeah, no, so, we just created this, like, boot camp where we all learned how to, kind of, walk, how to grunt, how to, you know, call for other sasquatches. we had like a vocabulary. we learned how to ask another sasquatch, "would you like to mate with me?" [ light laughter ] so, we really covered everything. >> jimmy: how -- like, how do you do that -- how do you come
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up with that? >> so, if you want to mate with another sasquatch, the polite way to do it is to just walk up to that, you know, sasquatch and go like this, like -- [ fists clashing ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> it doesn't work with people. but -- >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] it works with sasquatches. >> jimmy: yeah. but that's how you do it. >> yeah, and my character is so sweet, so i was kind of timid to ask the female to mate with me. i brought her, like, a bouquet of ferns. and then, i do this. and she says no. and then, as i, like, scurry back scared, i do it again. and it just reminded me of basically, every time i've ever spoken to a woman. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: can i ask -- and we don't have to air this. did you run into any sasquatches? [ laughter ] >> yeah. no, i'm happy to say we ran into, like, so many real sasquatches. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh! [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: they came out -- they came out for the film? >> it's just so weird. like, every time they were there, we decided to not, like, film them. >> jimmy: that's so smart. >> yeah. >> jimmy: out of respect. >> out of respect, and we just want to kind of keep the mystery alive. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and there was a few sasquatches came to the premiere dressed as humans. and they were not discovered. >> no. it's -- no. and they were tall though. and we made sure that they were
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sitting in the back. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you believe in them more? >> i love the mythology of the sasquatch. you know, but i'm a skeptical person 'cause i'm, you know, unhappy. and so -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> you know, so, anything that's aspirational or hopeful, or "wouldn't that be great," i don't like that stuff. so, um -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: in general, yeah. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: of course. so smart. >> you know, decades of rejection have taught me to just be paranoid and -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> -- disbelieving. >> jimmy: but you -- but you actually showed this movie to a -- to a -- to an ape. >> yes. yes, we showed this movie to the smartest -- this is true. the smartest nonhuman animal in the world is this bonobo monkey at this ape initiative in des moines, iowa, named kanzi. >> jimmy: there's a picture of you and kanzi. >> that's me with -- >> jimmy: who's who? [ laughter ] >> that's me with kanzi. >> jimmy: yeah, you and kanzi. [ audience awws ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: now, you're just tempting kanzi? [ laughter ] >> i was hungry, but in retrospect, it was bad to do that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. kanzi's like, "that's why -- i love eating that." >> yeah. >> jimmy: "that's my favorite food." >> "like, that's mainly the only thing people know about me." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. so, you went and you met him. >> yep. and kanzi watched the movie. kanzi built a little nest
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around where the tv is. >> jimmy: i think i have a a photo of him enjoying the movie. >> yeah. >> jimmy: actually, here's him watching the movie. >> that's right. >> jimmy: and there's your name up there. >> yes. [ audience awws ] >> jimmy: kind of seems -- kind of seems not impressed to be honest. >> yeah. [ laughter ] with like, "oh, the butterfly thing?" yeah. >> jimmy: he's like, "oh, that's -- yeah, the butter -- yeah, i did the butterfly thing." >> we actually don't even like butterflies. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is amazing. so, how did it react? >> well, casually -- about two seconds after this beautiful shot was taken -- casually, kanzi just slammed his fist into the screen at my face that is, like, behind three inches of plexi glass. because these bonobo monkeys are like five times as strong as we are. and so, was really angry. you know, i like to think competitive. >> jimmy: oh! it was competitive. >> i think so. >> jimmy: but maybe he was taken in by the realism. >> maybe that. and i think he just really likes dominating any creature he can't figure out what it is. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i think it's fantastic that you did this. i think it's so different and cool. and i just i love everything you do. >> thank you. >> jimmy: but this one is definitely up there with one of the coolest things you've done. >> that's so sweet. thank you. >> jimmy: i want to show a a clip. here's jesse -- do you want to set the clip up? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. i found a nest of eggs, and i'm
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trying to count to see if they're all for everybody in the group. and then the alpha comes by and, kind of, takes them away. >> jimmy: okay, here's jesse eisenberg in "sasquatch sunset." take a look. [ footsteps ] [ grunting ] [ heavy breathing ] [ audience awws ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey, buddy, come on! how do you do that? ♪ you're a great actor. that's amazing that you did that. jesse eisenberg, everybody! "sasquatch sunset" opens nationwide, april 19th. susie essman joins us, after the break. stick around, everybody. it's like heartbreaking -- [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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visit xfinitymobile.com to learn more. doc? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a very funny comedian and actress, who you know as susie greene on "curb your enthusiasm." all seasons -- [ scattered cheers ] i know, she's amazing. all seasons are available to stream on max. please welcome susie essman! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm so happy you're here. welcome back, come on! susie, congratulations on 24 years? >> yeah. >> jimmy: 24 years. [ cheers and applause ] >> 24 years. >> jimmy: 12 seasons. >> 12 seasons. >> jimmy: 120 episodes, 24 years. >> yeah, it's like a lifetime, isn't it? >> jimmy: isn't that unbelievable? >> it's like i could be sasquatch almost. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] you -- but when larry came up to you for this idea to do "curb" in the year 2000 -- >> 2000. >> jimmy: did you expect you'd be here 20 years later -- >> no! >> jimmy: -- still talking about it? >> no, we were just this little, you know, under-the-radar comedy show. low budget -- we didn't even have trailers, jimmy. >> jimmy: no. >> no, we didn't even have trailers. we had nothing. we were just -- we would like, you know, be in a house on location, and find a room, and do hair and makeup and change, and it was crazy. >> jimmy: is that -- >> i can't believe we've done all these seasons. it's insane. >> jimmy: were there always scripts or was it -- >> no, no script. never a script. you know that. >> jimmy: that's true, right? >> it's completely improvised. >> jimmy: that is real. >> there's an outline.
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you know, you know what the scene's about, but all that filth that comes out of my mouth is just out of my head. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're so good though. it's -- you wait for it, you wait for it, and you deliver. >> jimmy: this season -- i don't want to give too much away if you haven't seen it -- but man, if you want to laugh, watch this. your character, susie, starts a a business. >> "catch as caftan." you know, susie's known for her fashion. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, oh, your fashion is off the charts. [ applause ] >> susie is known for her fashion. >> jimmy: off the charts this season, by the way. >> yes. >> jimmy: who -- whoever -- who's wardrobe? >> leslie schilling. leslie schilling is amazing. she designs the wardrobe. and this season, larry and jeff schaffer decided that i need a business, and so, i have a caftan business. so there's a big poster up on santa monica boulevard in the scene. >> jimmy: giant billboard, yeah, and you're very excited with this. >> episode 6, 1206. and there's a big, big billboard. and in the episode, the billboard is defaced -- >> jimmy: oh, no, that's terrible. [ audience aws ] >> -- with male genitalia -- [ laughter ] -- as larry said, "grazing my mouth."
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[ laughter ] and i'm sitting -- you see me -- i'm like this, and my hands are cradling scrotum. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> so -- so then -- [ laughter ] look at the band. so then -- so then, they -- hbo puts up a big billboard for real -- >> jimmy: a real one. >> -- on santa monica boulevard -- >> jimmy: see, that's respect, good on hbo. >> yes, you know, as a promo 'cause they were selling the caftans, and also just to advertise this season. and you knew it was only a a matter of time. [ laughter and ohs ] >> jimmy: i'm gonna show you this, but we're gonna have to blur it out when we do show it. but -- i can't believe this is real. >> somebody actually -- >> jimmy: someone actually defaced -- >> -- actually defaced the billboard. [ laughter ] ♪ [ applause ] i mean how great is that? >> jimmy: are you kidding me? is that the weirdest thing in life? >> and by the way, it was no easy feat, 'cause it's like, way up high. you needed scaffolding and ropes. and, you know -- and these guys that -- what's their name again? they wrote -- "indecline" was the -- >> jimmy: indecline, it's a a graffiti artist. >> and they wrote -- they wrote a whole homage to larry that
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they did this because they said they learned everything about life from larry, not from school or books. [ audience aws ] and so, this was an homage. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, what a -- what a a sign of respect, wow. >> and i get a text from -- [ laughter ] yes, exactly. >> jimmy: what a beautiful thing. >> i get a text from him one day that's like, "it happened." and he sends me the pic -- you knew it was going to happen. >> jimmy: i can't believe someone did it. >> it's great, i love it. i love it. >> jimmy: but it's life imitating art. >> people thought i'd be upset. >> jimmy: no! >> no, it was -- i laughed all day. >> jimmy: you're one of the funniest people i know. you're one of my favorite comedians. do -- there's so many great cameos and people on this season. vince vaughn, by the way, another -- >> what an improviser he is. >> jimmy: oh, he's one of thr greatest ever. >> he's just fantastic. >> jimmy: everybody's is great. you, jeff, j.b. but bruce springsteen is on this season and he's hilarious. >> and you know what? that was him. he -- we did not give him lines. nobody gave him lines. he improvised all of it. >> jimmy: no. >> he improvised -- floor [ bleep ], that was him. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: he said that? >> he said it. >> jimmy: he made that up? >> he made it up. and then, somebody told me they were at the forum last weekend
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in l.a., he was performing, and people are holding signs up saying floor you-know- what. [ laughter ] so -- >> jimmy: to bruce springsteen. >> to bruce -- so here's this man who's had 50 years of an amazing career. he's got one day on "curb your enthusiasm," and he's haunted by it. [ laughter ] holding posters saying floor -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's fantastic. that's great. >> and then, oh, jimmy, so, when -- he couldn't have been sweeter. and you know, i mean, he's -- you know, we grew up with him. >> jimmy: he's an icon. >> together: he's an icon. >> and when he left that day, he comes over to me and he said, "do you mind if i take a a selfie with you?" [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: bruce springsteen? >> i was like, "nah, bruce, i don't do selfies." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, yeah, exactly. "i'm susie essman, i don't want to do this," yeah. it's unbelievable. >> he couldn't have been sweeter. loved him. >> jimmy: and then, richard lewis. >> oh, my baby, yeah. >> jimmy: i love richard lewis. >> i know. i know, and -- >> jimmy: gosh, he's a funny -- >> you're such a comedy aficionado, so you know what an icon he was. >> jimmy: amazing. >> lewis was one of the funniest, most original people that i ever knew. but also, when you were friends with him, the most generous,
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kind, sweetest -- i mean, i don't want to ruin his reputation -- [ laughter ] but he's kvelling somewhere in heaven right now. >> jimmy: oh, man, we're going to miss him. i love richard lewis. >> he's the greatest. >> jimmy: well thank you so much for coming on the show, but really, thank you for 24 years of making us all laugh on "curb." >> oh, thank you, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: amazing. i want to show everyone a clip. here's susie essman and larry david in the final season of "curb your enthusiasm." take a look. >> i have immunity. >> oh, you think so? >> can i tell you something? i feel like superman. >> do you really? >> i can go anywhere, do anything. >> how could you be so happy right now? you gave bruce covid, larry! you destroyed his life, his career. he might never play or sing again. >> poor boss. >> that's right, poor boss. >> oh, the poor boss. >> his fans are devastated. >> oh, the poor fans. >> everybody [ bleep ] hates you now. >> oh. >> it's all your fault. you're a walking [ bleep ] virus, larry. >> lemme tell you something, you're the virus! injecting yourself into everybody's lives. >> you're the virus. >> you're the virus.
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>> together: you're the virus! you're the virus! >> your entire aura is viral overload. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come on! ♪ [ applause ] that's exactly how you do it. that's how you do it, bud. susie essman, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] that was fantastic, you're the best. we'll be right back with stand-up from nathan macintosh. stick around, everybody. susie essman. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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thinking i should bring back my 100% all-white meat popcorn chicken combos for $6.99? you're in luck, i did. if you weren't thinking that, i bet you are now. my popcorn chicken combos are only $6.99. get 'em sauced & loaded for just a buck more. welcome to jack in the box! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest has his comedy special, "down with tech," available now on youtube. please welcome, the very funny nathan macintosh.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ applause ] >> yes, thank you guys so much. it's so great to be here. and, um, i don't think i'm crazy when i say that tech nerds won. [ light laughter ] everything we do use -- have -- goes through a tech nerd. tech nerds run the entire world. [ light laughter ] jocks used to run this world. and i really think this was a a better place when jocks were running it. [ light laughter ] because when jocks ran the world, they would just make fun of you 'cause you can't play sports. nerds make apps that make you hate yourself. [ laughter ] can i ask you guys, how did we let the least social people make social media? how did that happen? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] the people -- the people that never socialized at all -- at all. they were in fields, rotating by themselves. [ light laughter ] they -- they turn around and told us how to socialize. none of us made social media 'cause we were too busy, socializing! [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ]
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nobody at a barbecue eating a a hot dog was like, "how do i turn this into a 15-second annoying video?" that was -- [ light laughter ] that was some psycho sitting in a dark room, looking out a a window, like, "i'd like to get out there." just go, man! [ laughter ] there's no wonder there's so many problems with social media, it was made by people that never did it. i know nothing about cars, okay? if i ever make one, there's gonna be a lot of problems. [ laughter ] so -- where are the pistons? detroit? i don't know, man. [ laughter ] i can't -- [ applause ] which is why i get mad at the tech people, 'cause they just make stuff they don't understand, and we have to deal with it, you know? like, elon musk recently unveiled the tesla humanoid. it's a robot for your house. it will do stuff for you in your house, 'cause you know sometimes, right, you want something, but it's on the top shelf. [ light laughter ] and you're standing on the floor like, "how am i gonna get that? i'm covered in butter, i can't reach that." so -- [ laughter ] this robot will do it for you. and elon musk literally said, "these robots are gonna be very cool, as long as they don't
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become terminators. ha, ha, ha, ha, ha." and then he laughed. [ laughter and applause ] then he laughed that horrifying laugh. [ laughter ] and nobody says anything! [ laughter ] it's like, elon, if there's even a chance these things become terminators, why are you making them, man? [ laughter ] doesn't it just kind of feel like tech nerds watched every sci-fi movie halfway -- [ light laughter ] and then started making the things? they're like, "wouldn't it be cool if we had robots that talked?" hey man, finish the movie. [ laughter ] and we are -- we are already very ready for robot -- we are ready for a contactless world. we already treat people like robots as it is. we are ready for driverless cars and drones that drop stuff off at our house, you know? because, like, an uber driver now, that might as well be a a bag of leaves, who cares? [ light laughter ] that might as well be a mop in a hat. we don't even talk to them. we get in -- we get into his car -- it's his car! [ laughter ] we don't say hello. we just close the door and wait. [ light laughter ] and if he says something to us, we're like, "i just wanted a a quiet ride, please!"
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[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] we have -- we have contactless delivery now. that's insane. somebody could bike -- bike in the rain, to deliver your food. bike in the rain, rain in the face -- [ laughter ] -- to bring you jalapeno poppers. [ laughter ] and they don't even get a thank you, anymore. [ light laughter ] they get a note on the delivery that's like, "tell 'em leave the j-pops on the doorknob. [ laughter ] and then get the hell away from my house!" [ cheers and applause ] a.i. -- a.i. really scares me, man. i don't know buddy, but i'm very scared about a.i. i am scared about a.i. because the people that made a.i. are scared of a.i. [ laughter ] there are two men who helped create a.i., who have run away. they've run away. and now -- [ light laughter ] now they're doing interviews like, "you gotta stop it." you gotta to stop it. [ laughter ] what do you want me to do? get back in the office, dude.
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these two men think a.i. is going to destroy humanity and they left. is that even legal? can you do that? can a firefighter just leave a a building like, "the flames are big"? it's your -- [ laughter ] it's your whole job, man! the fathers of a.i. are scared, the fathers. henry ford didn't run around going, "look out for the car!" [ light laughter ] there's nobody from ben & jerry's that's like, "don't eat mint chocolate chip!" the people that made a.i. are scared, and we just keep playing with it. it is wild to me to think that humans, we have no natural predators, none. and we made one with a.i.! [ laughter ] it's like -- [ applause ] we made a natural predator with a.i. it's like if salmon invented grizzly bears. [ laughter and cheers ] i just feel this was a better place when jocks were running it. and look, this is me, also a a full dork, a full dork, defending -- defending jocks. when i was in school, jocks did not like me. grade five, these five jocks one time, right, they gave me a a wedgie, all at the same time.
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and they did it -- they did it so hard, i was in the air above their heads, floating in the sky, underwear inside my body. [ light laughter ] they gave me that wedgie in front of 28 kids. when jocks ran the world, 28 people saw me get a wedgie. now that tech nerds run the world, millions of people would have saw that, you know? [ light laughter ] that video would've went to latvia. there would've been reaction videos. there would've been some weird euro dance track to what i said in the clip. just -- "ah, my balls, ah, ah, my balls. [ laughter and applause ] ah, my balls." [ applause ] anyway, so i started this by saying that tech nerds won. they own us. and it's true. so please follow me online. [ laughter ] and share this video with everybody you can. my name is nathan macintosh, guys. thank you so much! [ cheers and applause ] have a good night. greatly appreciate it. thank you, thank you, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: not bad. that's a standing ovation. [ applause ] that's a standing ovation right there, not too shabby.
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there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for watching. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." goodnight everybody. bye-bye. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- liam neeson. chat and music from sheryl crow.
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