still don't think i would pull that one off. >> sometimes i wonder, is my train going slower because that guy just stuck his hand in the door to see if his friend could run faster than this train. i've got places to be. >> i'm sure that some people on that car were not happy with that. i thought of you when i saw this story. >> thank you, i'm honored, but no, i could not that do that. >> we'll have to add that to the list of things matt lively should try for the show. >> ice skating, crossed off. >> that's right. >> going to be a good story. >> thanks for watching, see you tomorrow. >> a recent article in axios claims that you can decipher how the former president's mind works by looking at his mar-a-lago spotify playlist. regulars call it the deejayt performance and say just like his rallies, the songs stay the same and he alone controls the volume. >> do you want to bust a move the ex-presidential way?

then get down with deejayt's mar-a-lago spotify playlist. you'll get songs like... trump has no idea that the songs, when read in sequential order, provide a glimpse into his subconscious! the deejayt spotify playlist. shake your coup thang! >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert"! tonight...

court proceeding! first, stephen welcomes steve buscemi! and henry louis gates, jr.! featuring louis cato and "the late show" band. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: hello! hello! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ welcome. welcome, everybody, to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. [cheering] well, forget the old saying "april showers brings may flowers," 'cause from now on, it's "april trials bring me smiles." [cheering] because -- how many left? 88 charges left? okay, despite, so far, despite

88 criminal charges, donald trump has faced zero consequences. it's been one delay after another. but -- [booing] exactly. but that's about to end. because right here in new york, in the hush money case, the judge won't delay trump's criminal trial to wait for an immunity ruling. [cheering] let's go! the best part is, it's a criminal trial, so trump has to be there every day. starting april 15th, we get to see donald trump having to see stormy daniels testify about having to see donald trump naked. ugh. ugh. "your honor, for reasons that will soon be all too apparent following her testimony, i'd like to submit into evidence this baby bella mushroom."

[laughter] if you know what i'm talking about. i don't know if you noticed, but thanks to trump, our politics are getting a bit heated. in fact, a new pbs newshour/npr/ marist/starbucks eggbites poll found that 1 in 5 americans think violence may solve u.s. divisions. when reached for comment, 1 in 5 americans said, "you wanna go? you got a problem? 'cause we can settle this right outside with some muy thai!" personally, i stephen colbert stand with the majority, the 4 out of 5 americans who choose non-violence and i proudly say, [applause] i proudly say, sure. i'm never going to stop you from applauding me. i say, "4 on 1? we can take these guys. go get daddy's bat!"

you wanna go, bruh? the stats down like this: 28% of republicans believe violence could be the answer, compared to just 12% of democrats and 18% of independents. really? who are those 18% of independents? "i don't really strongly feel committed to any particular ideology, but i am willing to kill for... whatevs." trump himself is taking every angle he can to try to weasel his way back into the white house. he's even pressuring the state of nebraska to change how it awards electoral votes. always a good sign when your campaign strategy is to bully individual states. "hey, more like old hampshire, you dusty bitch. now, gimme all your electoral votes, and go back to 69-ing vermont. oh! i bet ben and jerry like to watch."

nebraska's electoral system matters. many believe it could be decided by a single electoral vote from a nebraska's second. in other words, this is a complete and total -- >> hey, steve? >> stephen: oh, hi, brian. it's my writer brian stack, brian, what's up? >> well, i couldn't help but notice you were talking about nebraska. you know what they say >> stephen: what's that, brian? >> no. i'm asking. do you know what they say about nebraska? 'cause the writers and i are trying to cook up a real crackerjack joke. and if you know anything about nebraska, we could probably write the joke to play off of that. you know, for your monologue. >> stephen: brian, i'm doing the monologue right now. >> perfect-o. we'll put our noodles together, get ya something great. big laughs, major joke. write-up in huffpo for sure. i'll be back in one hour! >> stephen: brian stack, everybody.

thanks, brian. very kind. he tries. oldest man in world news, yesterday, the oldest man in the world died just weeks before 115th birthday. >> awww. >> stephen: our condolences to the family of juan vincente perez mora of venezuela, seen here sitting. mr. mora credited his long life to "working hard, loving god, resting on holidays, going to bed early, and drinking a glass of aguardiente every day." "aguardiente"? i've never heard of it, but i want it. gimme the life juice right here! cane neutral spirits. okay. [cheering] ooh hoo! i feel older already. don't go far with that. now that mr. mora has passed, the organization that certifies global olditude,

the gerontology research group, said they are currently working to find the world's oldest living man. currently the two top contenders whose birthdays are being verified are: gisaburo sonobe of japan, born november 6, 1911, and brazil's josias de oliveira, born october 21, 1911. and i'm being told we have aging news! this morning, and this is true, while we were working on this script, the news broke that sadly, gisaburo sonobe passed away at 112. we mourn his passing and celebrate our new old champion, brazil's josias de oliveira! ♪ there he is ♪ ♪ mr. oldest man! ♪ now we do not yet know what he credits his long life to, so i'm gonna take a stab in the dark

and say a delicious daily bottle of bud lite lime. oh. oh, yeah. really washes away the aguardiente. did you like that? living at all, of course, requires a bit of luck. just ask my colleagues in oregon at kgw-8, eugene's news leader. >> you've gotta see this. a eugene man is lucky to be alive after narrowly escaping an incident that could've been out of a movie, really. a 4-foot concrete saw came loose at a construction site and went flying toward a nearby convenience store just seconds after the man walks in. >> stephen: wow! that is either a freak accident, or that guy is the target of a very inefficient assassin. "damn it. if the saw blade doesn't work, i'll get him with a runaway houseboat.

now to get him near the canal." for more on this story, we turn to kezi-9, eugene's news commander. >> just for some height comparison here, i'm about 5'9". you can see right here where the top of the blade is would have been right here at the beginning of my torso. >> stephen: which means it could have been a real tragedy or the world's fastest bris. [laughter] the man... the man... the man who survived the close call told reporters, "i don't think i would have survived even being touched by that thing. i need a beer. i'm still shaken. it's 9:00. i'm not going to work today." wise choice. beer? wise choice, citizen. but i have to say, if you're getting a beer at 9:00 a.m., you already weren't going to work today. oh, there's news from britain,

a place i have no comment or feeling about, where a man has pled guilty to the theft of a solid gold toilet worth $6 million from blenheim palace. how do you sneak that out past the guards? "sir, i'm afraid i'll have to check your bag. did you bring this golden toilet from home? yes? very good, cheerio." this 18-carat toilet was part of an art exhibition, and the toilet itself was titled "america." meant to comment on the economic disparities in the u.s., or as the artist puts it, "whatever you eat -- a $200 lunch or a $2 hot dog, the results are the same, toilet-wise." to which everyone who's eaten a $2 hot dog said, "no, my friend. no, they are not. they're very different." back over in tech, we have an update about the apple vision pro headset, the number one tool to

deliver a purple nerple in the metaverse. apple has introduced a way to hang out with friends or colleagues who are also wearing their vision pros, and it's called spatial persona avatars. unfortunately, they are creeping people out. it's an exciting tech innovation that will have workers saying "fine. i'll go back to the office in person 5 days a week." apple says that the goal of these avatars is to make collaborating and hanging out feel more natural in the vision pro. yes, it's clearly the most natural way to spend time with your colleagues. right, louis? >> louis: that's right, steve. as natural as playing my guitar. darn it! tim cook! >> stephen: we got a great show for you tonight! my guests are steve buscemi and henry louis gates jr. but when we come back, i take to the skies.

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♪ ♪ >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. give it up for louis cato and "the late show" baird. talking to you. hey! hello, my friends. there you go. thanks, everybody. please have a seat. you're very kind. a couple of fabulous guests coming up. a fascinating man, a scholar, a rider. henry louis gates will be out here just a few moments. but first, in just a few minutes, one of my favorite actors. and also a lovely person, steve buscemi will be out here.

who doesn't love some steve buscemi? people often say "booshemi" but it's not, it's "booskemi." don't say it. he will knife you. airplanes. for decades, they've been considered safe, but lately it doesn't feel that way. we all remember back in january, when a door plug flew off an alaska airlines flight after key bolts were found to be missing from the plane, then just a few weeks later a united flight was forced to land after a passenger noticed the wing was coming apart. i know, shocking... that it wasn't spirit airlines. and that wasn't all, because in just the last month, a tire fell off a united airlines flight after takeoff, damaging several cars. another flight was forced to make an emergency landing due t3 problems with the hydraulic system. a plane experienced a fire in the left engine, and then just last week, a flight had to turn around because the contents of one of the plane's toilets flowed into the main cabin.

so if you think airplane quality has gone down the toilet, you're wrong -- it's actually coming up the toilet. but if you're nervous about flying right now, please don't worry. there are other air travel options. according to one expert, hot air balloons are the safest mode of aviation. which is why i'm proud to bring you a message from "the late show's" newest sponsor. [cheers and applause] are you afraid to get on an airplane? then why not travel by whitlock's hot air balloon! >> steve: hi, i'm steve whitlock. >> stephen: and i'm stephen whitlock. we're brothers! >> steve: but the fraternal kind. you may recognize our balloon from jigsaw puzzles. >> stephen: or motivational posters! >> steve: or just from looking up! >> stephen: air plane quality is declining, but anyone who

says our balloons are unsafe is full of hot air. >> steve: good one, stephen! >> stephen: thank you, steve! >> steve: the most dangerous thing that happens on hot air balloons is the occasional seagull. seagull! [cawing] >> stephen: balloon travel is also fair. there's no first class or economy. just one class: basket. >> steve: also one bathroom: basket. seagull! no need to worry about loose bolts. our hot air balloon relies on the time-tested security of wicker. >> stephen: yep, nothing breaks this! put it up here. >> steve: hot air balloons can take you any place you need to go as long as that "any place" is downwind.

>> stephen: due west. could be bali! or albany. only time will tell! >> steve: want in-flight entertainment? stephen here remembers most of the movie "ford vs. ferrari." >> stephen: matt damon is working on a car. it's either a ford or a ferrari, i forget. and then the batman drives another car. and one of them wins something. >> steve: hey! no spoilers. tell them how to book a flight, stephen. >> stephen: will do, steve. just draw a big x on the ground. maybe out of rocks or something? and we'll try to land there. be patient, though. hot air travel takes time. >> steve: we were born up here! >> stephen: our parents left us in this basket with nothing but a set of adult-sized clothes and a thirst for the sky! >> steve: seagull! [cawing] so book a flight with whitlock's hot air balloon today! >> stephen: we accept all major credit cards.

>> steve: or just conversation! >> both: we're so lonely! >> whitlock's hot air balloon! come get high with us! >> stephen: oh, we forgot to mention you can smoke weed up here! >> steve: there are no laws! >> stephen: we'll be right back with steve buscemi! seagull! my life is full of questions... mom, is yellow a light or a dark? how do i clean an aioli stain? thankfully, tide's the answer to almost all of them. why do we even buy napkins? use tide. can cold water clean white socks? it can with tide. do i need to pretreat guacamole? not with tide. this is chocolate, right? -just use... -tide...yeah. no matter who's doing it, on what cycle, or in what temperature, tide works. so i can focus on all the other questions. do crabs have eyebrows? ahh... for all of life's laundry questions, it's got to be tide.

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♪ ♪ >> stephen: i guessed right. welcome back, everybody. ladies and gentlemen, my first guest this evening is an actor you know from some of your favorite movies, including "reservoir dogs," "the big lebowski," and "the death of stalin." he has just directed a new film called "the listener." please welcome back to the "late show," steve buscemi. [cheers and applause] hi, steve. >> steve: hi, steve. >> stephen: thanks for coming

back. always lovely to talk to you. to be too good to be here. to be on your friend tim blake nelson was on the other night. what comes to mind when you think about him. >> steve: i first worked with him over 20 years ago. he's a brilliant rider and director, he did a movie called "the gray zone" about the holocaust and auschwitz. we were filming in bulgaria. have you ever been there? >> stephen: i've never been to bulgaria. lovely? >> steve: it is. we were in sofia most about the countryside is beautiful. the crews were great and the people were great. sometimes when i go to a place like that i wonder if i'm going to be recognized or not. how big am i in bulgaria? pretty much, i pretty much wasn't.

one day i'm walking around and this group of teenagers, teenagers were following me and i thought oh oh. these young kids are hip. they know me. one of them stopped me and they said, are you marc anthony? >> stephen: the latin heartthrob singer marc anthony? j.lo's ex-husband marc anthony. >> steve: yeah. >> stephen: do you get that a lot. >> steve: first time. i've gotten willem dafoe, john waters, that i understand. i didn't get it. i had to break it to them that i wasn't. they walked away disappointed. when i got back to new york i went to my local coffee place in brooklyn and there was a new guy working there, i give you my order and he looks at me and he says, has anyone ever told you you look like marc anthony?

this is true. i said wait a minute. i said you know what, i was just in bulgaria and these kids thought i looked like marc anthony and he looks at me and he goes, "i'm from bulgaria." go figure. i don't understand it. >> stephen: year considered one of the great character actors but you've also been the big lead. her yours to lead in "boardwalk empire" on hbo. how, maestro, how i ask is it different playing a leading man as opposed to a supporting role? >> steve: the work that i put into it is the same. show like that, i mean, it really was an ensemble. even though my character was the lead, i really felt like it was

a team effort. that's what i really enjoy, working with other actors. but i've learned, you know, like for my career, it's important to get roles that mean something to this story. this way you don't get cut out. >> stephen: [laughs] have you been cut out a lot? >> steve: any period of a year and have come i i was, three movies. "the grifters." one by woody allen, "alice." at one by gus van sant "even cowgirls get the blues." they were supporting roles. they were like one or two scenes each put in the end i guess they weren't as important to the story. >> stephen: you shot it. >> steve: i showed up for work and got paid and they cut me out. >> stephen: do you know who they would not have cut out?

marc anthony. >> steve: that's right. >> stephen: he wouldn't have put up with that. >> stephen: but then i learned all right, try to get parts where your character is important to the story and then after a while i just tried to get parts where i wasn't killed. >> stephen: that's another good one. it's written it that you're killed, you know you're getting cut. >> steve: well, yeah. when i got "boardwalk." the character was based on a real guy nucky thompson. i did the research. he lived a long life. i'll be okay. i see the name that they changed to nokia thompson. they fictionalize the character. i got worried. >> stephen: this is your character "rock holland." everyone had a different tagline. >> steve: bruce's was heated

for the honor. liv tyler did for love. ben affleck. will patton. and then it was me. it was rock hound. he did it for the money. >> stephen: it's honest. >> steve: at the time i had only done pretty much independent films. there was even a website that said i was the indy king. so i was a little -- you know like oh, wow. that's a little too on the nose. did it for the money? they have these posters of each character that they put up and i actually called my manager and i said, could you ask them not to put them up in my neighborhood? i don't want to be walking my son to school and seeing my face on a bus saying "he did it for the money." >> stephen: [laughs] >> steve: the studio head said to my manager.

this is the first time i've ever gotten a request from an actor not to be on the poster or not to have his poster up. >> stephen: did they take it down? >> steve: they didn't put up in my neighborhood. >> stephen: that's nice. that's very pleasant. he recently did something but i know it was fun because i did it many years ago. you were a guest on "curb your enthusiasm." there you are. that's you and larry david and the late great richard lewis in that scene. i had a brief but fun part. >> steve: i remember. >> stephen: what was your experience like? >> steve: i loved it. i've been watching the show from the beginning. as you know, there's no real script. it's just an outline. >> stephen: a piece of paper that said this is what your character will or will not do. >> steve: yeah. and so i knew the story. there were certain things we had to hit but otherwise you're just

improvising. for me, it's always so surreal when you come onto a show that you know so well and love and then you're in it. it's like being in a dream. larry david i love. to work with richard lewis too. i told richard, i was once booked on david letterman. i didn't make it on. they came to the dressing room and very solemn, they said we are sorry. you're not getting on tonight. richard lewis ran too long. so i got to share that with him. he was horrified. [laughter] but yeah, it's the best show and i have to thank susie for getting me on the show. we were at a new year's party together i was trying to be subtle about it. saying so, this is the last season? she says, wait a minute, you've never been on the show. and i went, i know. why?

why do you ask? she got me on the show. she called larry and the producers and lo and behold she got me arm. >> stephen: we have to take a quick break but stick around. we'll be right back with more steve buscemi, everybody. to turn your closet into a place of endless expression. with the quality, styles, and prices you love. ♪♪ (vo) welcome to lobsterfest. is your party ready? ready to tango with tails on tails on tails? try lobster lover's dream while you can. it's one of ten next-level lobster creations. lobsterfest is ending soon, so hurry in. when you put in the effort, but it starts to frizz... you skipped a step. tresemmé silk serum. use before styling for three days of weightlessly smooth hair that frizz can't beat. new tresemmé keratin smooth collection. [inner voice] is it menopause or something else?

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( ♪♪ ) you made a cow! actually it's a piggy bank. my inspiration to start saving. how about a more solid way to save? i'm listening. well, bmo helps get your savings habit into shape with a cash reward, every month you save. both: cash reward? and there's a cash bonus when you open a new checking account to get you started. wow. anything you can't do? ( ♪♪ ) mugs. ♪ bmo ♪ [cheers and applause] >> stephen: hey, look at that. we are back with a director of "the listener," steve buscemi. you have now directed a new

movie called "the listener" starring tessa thompson. what's it about? >> steve: tessa thompson plays a home helpline worker. it's with they call a warm line. it's not a crisis line. it's basically for people to call if they're going through something or if they're lonely and they just want to talk. she works the night shift because that's when most of the calls come in. it's peter based. she's been through a lot herself. but they're not supposed to reveal that. basically there to listen and help if she can. >> stephen: i understand you called one of these warm lines. >> steve: i did. it was sort of at first in the name of research. you know, i felt weird calling. doing research. but actually i was so --

i haven't directed a movie in years and i get very anxious anyway when i direct films. and one morning, i woke up almost having this panic attack and nightmares. and i went, i don't need a reason to do research. i really need this. i called the number and just started talking about what was going on in my life at that moment. and in 2 minutes, i swear to god, i was weeping. the person on the other end which are so supportive and she was so generous and so sweet. after 10 minutes of talking to her, i felt so much better and i could go on with my day. >> stephen: we have a clip of tessa. >> steve: they're not supposed to break protocol, which is revealing too much about themselves. but tessa gets one call where she feels that it's necessary to reach this person and so that's a little bit of what's going on. >> stephen: jim?

>> well, i'm not supposed to go into personal details. it's against policy. i will tell you this. i've done my share of drinking and drugging and i've been to jail. >> have you? >> unfortunately, yeah. not for a long time. but i have a rap sheet that would probably scare off a few neighbors if they knew about it. >> trying to share the wisdom. >> i don't know that i have much wisdom. but something like that. [applause] >> stephen: steve, it was lovely to see you. >> steve: thank you so much.

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book your getaway now... ♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, everybody. welcome back to "the late show." my next guest is an author, emmy-winning documentarian, certified macarthur genius, and harvard professor. his new book is called "the black box: writing the race." please welcome back to "the late show,"

henry louis gates jr. >> henry: thank you. >> stephen: lovely to see you. >> henry: you can call me skip. >> stephen: okay. before we get to your new book right here which is "the black box: writing the race." i want to say congrats. you are celebrating ten years of "finding your roots" which was a fascinating show. but i was a guest when the show was called "faces of america." that was in 2010. i had a really good time. absolutely fascinated to learn about my family, all the extended family. things i knew nothing about. as i said, it was an honor but i was always wondering how did i end up on your list? how did i get picked? >> henry: we do the survey and we were looking for the whitest person we could find. [laughter] >> stephen: well, well. i wasn't going to tell this

story. but there was a family history, legend and the family that we are part chickasaw. my dna was done and you said to me backstage, you said "you're white, baby. you are the whitest man i've ever met." you've talked for over 40 years and your new book as i said before is "the black box." based on an intro to african american studies course that you teach at harvard. why write this book? if your students buy it, do they automatically get a a question mark >> henry: [laughs] well, you're not really supposed to assign to the student's books you've written. stay on but they know you wrote it. >> henry: i only decided to publish this book after i decided to stop teaching the course. the reason that i did the approach that i did to structure the courses that i hate bullies. when i was a undergraduate, i went to yale as an

undergraduate. between '69 '73. the campus was full of ideological bullies, hoople trying to tell you how to be black. the black muslims were there. the black panthers were there. if you didn't have a 2-foot high afro you weren't black enough. people were tell you who you could date, who your friends could be. i decided that if i ever was in a position of power or authority, i would take a stand against any kind of ideological bullying. so that my students would not suffer the kind of anxiety and embarrassment and angst that my generation did. [applause] >> stephen: well, i'm curious. i am curious what the black box is. is it a literal box?

metaphorical box? is it a data recorder? >> henry: you know, a data recorder is something we can't see inside, right? you can see that it has outputs. it has inputs. but its internal workings are not comprehensible. and that is a metaphor that i use for the world that our ancestors were forced to form under slavery. a world separated by what w.e.. du bois said unveiled that separated the white world and the submerged black world. he said famously "one always feels his twoness. an american, a negro, the ideals in one body. it was in the black box we were confined because of segregation first because of slavery and then after reconstruction as you know so well as a south carolinian with the

rollback of reconstruction and the rise of jim crow, that's when we were relegated. in the larger white world which we could only visit with permission, we were stereotyped. we were defined as ugly. we were defined as stupid. venal. people who wanted to steal. potential rapists. so in the black box, we define ourselves and crated one of the world's great cultures behind this color curtain, behind the veil. >> stephen: what is writing the race mean? >> henry: one of the things that black people had to prove incredibly and you're sympathetic with this because of your heritage. we were actually full human beings. in the 18th century, as you well know, he is quite a scholar. as you well know, there was a construct called the great chain of being. on top of the great chain of being. imagine the staircase,

infinitely long staircase with god at the top and under god on the next stair step where the angels. and then there were the five varieties of man. europeans, asians, people from the subcontinent, native americans and then either at the bottom of the scale of humanity or at the top of the scale of the animal kingdom sat the african. and some racist philosophers decided that africans weren't really human beings. other people set our ancestors were. so how would you tell? they decided they had to show through writing. the other thing that the book deals with is the fact that within the black box, there never was one way to be black. black people have been arguing about what it means to be black since the day we got off the boat in jamestown in 1619. so the course is constructed

around the famous debates in the tradition. because again, fighting back against those bullies, i never wanted our students to think that there ever was one way to be black. my younger daughter lives, she was just a little kid, she said daddy, i wish i was your age and had grown up in the '60s and i said why, baby? she said because our people were unified. we spoke in one voice. i said when was that? [laughter] i missed that episode. we were arguing about whether we should stay in this country or go back to africa. whether we should have industrial education or liberal arts education. my favorite is by what name should we call ourselves. so you know, when i was 16, we went from being negroes to being black. 1966. that's when we started wearing afros and were very proud of our

black heritage. and i thought that ours was the first generation ever to have that debate. so in my lecture about naming, it's called "what's in the name?" i just read these quotes that were letters to the editor and the first person says we should chisel off the name african from any of our cultural institutions because della sweeney called himself the african and the oldest cultural institution created in the box is the african methodist episcopal church. by the early 19th century people thought that was distancing us too far the white americans that we want to integrate with. the first statement says we've got to chisel off the word african. the next person says i think you're right. we should be colored. that's less a distance from white than black is. the next quote i read says we

should be africamerican. the next person said that's the ugliest word i've ever heard. i look up and tell the kids each of these statements was written between 1831 and 1845. so we've always had a diversity of opinion. the last thing that i stated in the class is that if there's only one thing that you remember about any of my lectures about anything that i've said, i hope that it's this. if there's 47 million african americans that means there's 47 million ways to be black. don't let a bully ever tell you how to be black. that's it. >> stephen: skipped, thank you so much for being here. >> henry: thank you, buddy. >> stephen: "the black box: writing the race" is available now. henry louis gates jr., everybody. we'll be right back.

so is pain, bitterness and resentment keeping you from your destiny? tim timberlake shares how to break free from past offenses through the power of forgiveness.

>> stephen: that's it for "the late show." tune in next week when i'll be joined by congresswoman alexandria ocasio-cortez, wilmer valderrama, and christiane amanpour. now stick around for "after midnight" with taylor tomlinson. good night!