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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  May 21, 2024 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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flavor flav, huh? >> he looks great, 65? i would not have guessed that in a million years. >> he kind of just doesn't age. >> yeah. >> i interviewed him on the red carpet at last year's super bowl, and he -- >> really? >> -- was just awesome. did the whole thing, yeah boy. >> that was pretty good. groirng have to ask him for his new love of water polo. >> next time, sure. >> why not? >> thank you for watching. the late show with stephen colbert is next. the news continues stream eking on cbs news bay area, good night. >> yeah, boy. >> oh my god. >> it's too good. >> wow, yeah. >> actress scarlett johansson is accusing the parent company of openai of using a likeness of her voice without her permission. >> not only did she refuse a request from openai to voice its new virtual assistant, she declined after the company's ceo approached her twice. now she says the company reluctantly agreed to take the
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voice they called "skye" down, only after she hired legal counsel. >> scarlett johansson may not be interested in being the voice for chatgpt, but "the late show" found someone who is. >> hello, chatgpt. i'm j.b. smoove. now, i heard about scarlett johansson refusing to allow you all to use her voice. i just wanted to let you guys know that j.b. smoove is willing and able to provide his services and has no objection that all about getting some of that sweet, sweet robot moolah. >> hey, chatgpt. how many quarts are in a gallon? >> what i look like? a damn measuring cup? google it! >> chatgpt, can you suggest a vegetarian meal plan? >> don't care what you eat! suck on a corn cob. >> hi, can you please write me an essay talking about the cause of world war i? >> whoo-whee! why don't you crack a book open, mother[bleep]. write your own [bleep] essay. >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert"! tonight...
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silent but deadly! plus, stephen welcomes billie eilish! featuring louis cato and "the late show" band. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! [cheers and applause] >> stephen: hey! always good to see you. ♪ ♪ thank you, my friends. good to see you. please have a seat, ladies and gentlemen. welcome. welcome one and all, ladies and gentlemen, it here at out there to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert.
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[cheering] today, testimony ended in the first ever criminal trial of a former presidnt of the united states. it may not have been the trump trial we all wanted, it may not be about his most hideous crimes, but dammit, at least he farted. [laughter] they can never take that away from us. after calling just two witnesses, this afternoon, trump's defense rested. of course, trump himself is fully rested. today was trump's chance to wake up, snort a gas station energy powder, and get on that stand to prove how this is all a big joe biden witch hunt. but it is now confirmed that donald trump will not testify. that is shocking. trump is not talking? what happened? did he write himself a check for $130,000?
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[applause] it's an oldie but a goody. they come back around, like your kids. the trial is not over. next week, they'll finish up with closing arguments, the judge will give the jury instructions, and then the jury will begin deliberations. "thank you for your instructions, your honor. we will return with a verdict after careful deliberation. yeah, he's guilty." [applause] careful, careful, careful. ooh, yesterday, things got contentious with the defense's main witness, legal advisor and main character in a video game about filing your taxes, robert costello. costello served as michael cohen's backchannel to trump, and the defense brought him out to discredit cohen. but instead, he discredited himself, because when the judge sided with the prosecution's objections to his testimony, costello audibly muttered "jeez" and later began rolling his eyes and calling the whole exercise
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"ridiculous," prompting the judge to say, "if you don't like my ruling, you don't give me side eye and you don't roll your eyes," a moment the court artist depicted like this. [laughter] oh, you know it's serious, 'cause look how far the judge is leaning! "hey! hey, mister. i can see that side-eye. great, now i'm stuck like this. bailiff, gimme a push! too far! too far!" but trump likes it when people act like angry idiots on his behalf, so he had nothing but praise afterwards for costello. >> you saw what happened to a highly respected lawyer today, bob costello. wow. i've never seen anything like that. highly respected. >> stephen: "wow. wow, the only guy more respected than costello, maybe abbott.
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abbott and costello. highly respected crime-fighting duo. i remember they helped scooby doo to catch the wolfman. sadly, scientists have still never determined who's on first." trump also tried to downplay his crimes by weirdly reading printouts of things other people have said. like this quote from fox news analyst greg jarrett. >> greg jarrett just says, "where exactly is the crime? to quote a memorable line from "shakespeare in love," "i don't know. it's a mystery." [laughter] >> stephen: i swear to god, this trial is making me dumber. instead of quoting actual the shakespeare, he's quoting a guy quoting 1998's "shakespeare in love." "to quote the porn version of romeo and juliet, bone-eo and screw-liet: 'but hark what light through
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yonder buttcrack breaks? 'tis the pizza man. but how shall we pay him? uh-oh. i'm all out of ducats.'" now, back before the trial ever started, some predicted that huge crowds of maga voters supporters of donald trump would descend on the courthouse and rally for donald. well, five weeks later, not so much. crowds have been smaller than police prepared for and made up of folks like amateur puppeteers, a dj with a portable speaker, and the self-proclaimed most successful sex-capsule salesman in idaho, utah, and nevada. really makes you feel for the second-most successful sex-capsule salesman in idaho, utah, and nevada. now, without the grassroots, trump has been forced to call in the professional maga goons. on his behalf. so far, 25 members of congress have attended the trial, including matt gaetz, who was mostly there for the
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sex capsules. [applause] sure. sex capsules. today at court, this shameful parade of butt smoochers got a surprise late visitor. don jr. made his first appearance at his dad's criminal trial. "took you long enough. your brother's been here for weeks. you know what? no, now he's don jr. and you have to be the eric. turn in your nametag, and hand over all your sex capsules." trump's minions aren't being subtle about the authoritarian plans they have if trump wins this next election. case in point: trump posted a video touting how great a second trump term would be, "ending with maga!!" but in grayscale underneath it is the headline: "industrial strength significantly increased driven by the creation of a unified reich." >> audience: whoa!
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>> stephen: unified yike! that's not a dog whistle. that's a whistle made of dog. evidently, maga now stands for make america germany around 1938. a spokesperson for trump's campaign explained that "this was not a campaign video. it was created by a random account online and reposted by a staffer who clearly did not see the word." yes, they didn't see it. it's a simple case of not-see. [applause] but they should know it's wrong to blame a staffer when you get caught doing something fascist. you're supposed to blame sam alito's wife. trump eventually deleted that video from his twitter rip-off, called truth social, which we might not have to think about much longer because in the first quarter of 2024
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trump's truth social lost $328 million. [cheering] first of all, ha ha. second of all, how could they be losing money? doesn't every business want to associate their product with the "unified reich?" at the very least they ought to be able to sell ads for mein slappenchoppen. [germany accent] "it invades poland und it makes delicious guacamole!" things are so bad over at truth social that in the last three months of running an actual internet thing, they made only $770,500. there's a 5-year-old on youtube making more than that unboxing gogurts. [applause] i could go for a --
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i could -- anybody have any? speaking of failing businesses, red lobster has filed for bankruptcy! or as one employee put it: "free! i'm free!" good luck, buddy. the official reason red lobster gave for filing was "financial and operational challenges." namely that it's hard to run a business when your hands are wrapped up in those little rubber bands. "okay, quarterly report time. dammit!" [scattered applause] no, please. please make me earn it. but analysts say one big reason was their disastrous $20 "ultimate endless shrimp" promotion. they thought they could make money serving unlimited food in this country? if the bet is how much americans will eat, always take the over. the endless shrimp promotion was so catastrophic that it cost red lobster $11 million in a single quarter.
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well, if they saw it was going so badly, why didn't they just stop the promotion? was the shrimp valve stuck open? "i can't close it! i can't! close the bulkhead door and weld me in! come on! i'm going down with the shrimp! tell my wife i love her!" [burbling] can we get a shot of the prompter. tell me this stage direction. it says right here "rounds in shrimp." [applause] >> louis: that was good, it was really good. >> stephen: i tried. apparently, people would show up to red lobster, order the endless shrimp, and then simply wouldn't leave. one server said she watched a solo diner take down 30 orders of fried shrimp within four
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hours. i was havin' a bad day! we got a great show for you tonight! my guest is billie eilish. but when we come back, "meanwhile"! join us, won't you? ♪ ♪ >> announcer: "the late show with stephen colbert" sponsored by ole body.
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♪ ♪ >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. give it up for louis cato and "the late show" band. [cheering] louis, tonight, this week. this week joining us, on alto sax, lakisha benjamin. and the lovely and talented angie swan on guitar. thank you so much for being h here. stick around. in just a few minutes, billie eilish will be sitting right there, ladies and gentlemen.
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[cheering] now, folks if you watch the show, you know i spend most of my time right over there, shaping the day's news into the most topical story chassis with gold leaf lining and black flank detail with deep royal claret body panels and cushions upholstered in a blue brocade with surface buttoning all mounted on leaf springs over iron-shod english pattern wheels to whisk you away in the spectacular adams and hooper traveling landau horse-drawn carriage that is my nightly monologue. but sometimes, folks, sometimes, i wake up in the baggage hold of a burned out greyhound bus from which i rip the axle and strap it to a discarded highway sign then rig it up to a mangy pony with guy lines stripped out of an abandoned circus tent, then barrel down an access road to the rickety derelict's slag-wagon of news that is my segment... >> "meanwhile"! [cheers and applause] >> stephen: i've got something. i've got something.
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meanwhile, mcdonald's: the simplest way to buy your children's silence. good news if you like ice cream because mcdonald's is dropping a new "grandma mcflurry," which they claim is "sweet, just like grandma." also just like grandma, it has some very outdated and upsetting opinions about the oreo mcflurry. mcdonald's says the new dessert comes with chopped candy pieces, meant to honor all the candies grandmas tend to hide in their purses. i'm sorry. but if you want it to be authentic to what's in grandma's purse, you gotta swirl in a menthol cigarette, a $5 bill, and a birthday card that calls you by your cousin's name. meanwhile, a young kid in england is going viral for her reaction to the cost of ice cream. take a look. >> girls, what's just happened? >> so! there's an ice cream van there selling just two ice creams with two chewing gums in it. >> yeah. >> for bloody 9 pound for two of them! >> 9 quid for two?
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>> yeah, 9 quid! that is gonna get nowhere. the one that comes on my street it's either one pound apiece or two pounds. like, he's gonna get nowhere with that. >> no, he ain't? >> no. he -- no, he ain't. >> that's well then, isn't it? >> he should know! and he only does bloody card. stood there with my cash! bloody hell! >> that's well, that, isn't it? >> bloody well bad. yeah, bet he can hear me! [cheers and applause] >> stephen: i have never been so intimidated by a little girl. looks like a preview from the new netflix series "young peaky blinders." [laughter] bet he can hear me! meanwhile, "microplastics were found in every human testicle in a new study." really? every human testicle? i didn't even notice them checking mine.
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they must be really gentle. says here in the prompter they actually used preserved testicles, and after "the scientists tested 23 human testes, they found microplastic pollution in every sample." that is a real wake-up call. so everyone, please, do your part. and recycle your testicles. [applause] they could be ground up and made into new soda bottles. as part of this study, scientists not only tested human testicles, but also 47 testes from pet dogs. i wouldn't call myself an expert on canine reproductive systems, but... should that be an odd number? "we would've had 48 but one rolled under the fridge. we'll get it when we move." meanwhile, "706 people named kyle got together in
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texas but it wasn't enough for a world record." too bad. but they did set the record for "most kyles that still aren't enough kyles." [applause] kyle! meanwhile, in an effort to curb rats, central park has introduced a new pizza box recycling bin. and according to officials, the new bin was "specifically designed" for the shape of pizza boxes. so it might be a little tricky at first, and change is difficult, i believe with time, new yorkers will figure out how to use it as a toilet. i've already got some ideas. meanwhile, according to a recent study, high levels of weedkiller can be found in more than half of sperm samples. oh, that's gonna lead to some very upsetting lawn care. "honey, stay inside! mr. conroy is edging
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the front yard with his "weed whacker again." but hey, hey, maybe if there's enough weedkiller in your sperm, it'll dissolve all the microplastics in your testicles. we'll be right back with billie eilish! [cheers and applause] ocker room? shareef: axe. axe. brandon: i like that. shareef: reminds me of like a designer store. brandon: this smells like a candle. shareef: is this a joke? you chose axe! brandon: i knew i had good taste! shareef: i thought that was a designer brand. (screams) bleeding gums are serious, jamie. dr. garcia? woah. they're a sign of bacterial infection. crest gum detoxify's antibacterial fluoride works below the gumline to help heal gums and stop bleeding. crest saves the day. crest.
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♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> stephen: oh, my goodness. ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. my guest tonight is a nine-time grammy and two-time oscar award winning artist. she has a new album out called "hit me hard and soft." please welcome back to "the late show," billie eilish. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ there you go.
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[cheering] well. >> billie! billie! billie! >> stephen: there you go. well, billie, welcome to the ed sullvan theater. >> billie: thank you. >> stephen: we've talked a couple times before and i've enjoyed it many times, always over zoom. >> billie: here you are. nice to meet you. >> stephen: let's talk about the new album real quick. the new album is called "hit me hard and soft." [cheering] came out on friday. it's been three years since her last album, which is "happier than ever." do you still get nervous
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releasing new music? >> billie: yeah, girl. listen. it's been three years for me. that's a long time. >> stephen: it's a significant chunk of your life. >> billie: it's a big chunk of my life and it's a big age difference in the way. it is. >> stephen: how does 22 feel different than 19 to you? >> billie: [laughs] >> stephen: because i just turned 60 and i've got some thoughts. >> billie: i don't know, you're growing a lot in those years and you're learning about yourself and whatever. >> stephen: a lot has happened in your life. >> billie: exactly. a lot has happened in my life. it feels so nerve-racking and exciting and i also, i made a very clear when i finish this album or when i was almost finished with the album to my team, i was like i really don't want to do a whole leader. i don't want to have a million months before it comes out. i want to do it as fast as possible. still, they were like may? i was like it's so far away and now it's here and it feels really quick.
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it's really weird. i'm shaky about it a little. >> stephen: shaky about it? compare this to the feeling of releasing "ocean eyes." >> billie: "ocean eyes," was not even a serious. i was 13. we ha a free download link on soundcloud. >> stephen: which people downloaded. >> billie: they absolutely did. it had 1,000 plays in like a week and i thought it was the coolest thing in the world. there was no reality to it. now it's like no, no, no, everyone's going to -- it's scary, stephen. >> stephen: let's talk about the title. where did come from? "hit me hard and soft." seems like a contradiction. >> billie: [laughs] exactly. >> stephen: yeah? i am my own thoughts about what it means. >> billie: i would like to know what it means to you. >> stephen: "hit me hard and soft." to me it means show me something powerful but do it in a gentle way.
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>> billie: okay, see. this is my whole thing. my favorite thing about it actually is i feel like it's going to affect you however it affects you. and whatever you take permit is what i want. >> stephen: you don't feel like you have to, your intention does not have to be my interpretation. >> billie: exactly. i have my own reasons it works for me but they are not important to mention. to me i have my own -- it's like with music. this is what this song means to me that i wanted to mean something else to everybody else. that's what art is for. it's for interpretation. >> stephen: have you ever been really shocked by someone's interpretation of something that you did not intend? >> billie: [laughs] i mean, most of what i do. most of what i say. >> stephen: misunderstood? do you feel misunderstood or do you feel like oh, no, that's to want one of the many possibilities. >> billie: the most challenging thing in the world
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as human beings is not to feel like you can explain yourself or defend yourself. what you said, being told how you actually set it. that's for the most stressful things in the world and i feel like a lot of being in the public eye is that and it's tough but i think, i don't know, i think that's what's cool. my whole thing is i love song titles and album titles. whatever it is with sentences that are just, they make you think. i wanted to be long and weird and make you -- shut up. >> stephen: i'm just enjoying your answer. >> billie: i'm so nervous right now. >> stephen: why? you're among friends. [cheering] >> billie: i don't know. i literally feel like i'm back from being retired but i feel like i retired and i'm back and it's been three years. i just did this "barbie" campaign for like a million thousand years. >> stephen: that went well.
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>> billie: it didn't go well. >> stephen: i want to talk about the cover. this is you. this is not photoshopped, not ai or you are the water. >> billie: yeah. >> stephen: how? why, where, when? >> billie: this was the day after this last grammys. i'd gone to sleep at 7:00 a.m. i woke up. i dyed my hair black. it was bright red. i died it black that day and then i went to this random place in santa clarita or some nonsense. there's a tank in this giant place. it was like 10 feet deep. i popped my little ass in there and i was in there for six ho hours. i'm fully clothed, obviously. i was wearing yeah, dude, big long pants. giant shorts. i was wearing a thermal
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long-sleeved, a button up flannel, a tie, rings, arm warmers, bracelet and a weight. i had a weight strapped to me. >> stephen: the wait was to keep you down. >> billie: yeah. >> stephen: whose idea was it? yours. >> billie: yeah. >> stephen: it would be so cool if i could almost die. >> billie: dude, i have done it so many times, almost died in the shoots. i need to suffer. >> stephen: do you, though? do you feel like you need for your art it has to be somehow excruciating or push you to the limit? >> billie: i don't think that it has to. but honestly, you know what it really is. it's not like, what kind do that will be the most uncomfortable that i could possibly dream of. it's more that i think about the visual before i think about how it's going to make me feel. it's like, i'm like okay i want to be fully dressed underwater, eyes open, upside down. and then i deal with how
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horrible it is. it was literally like some of the -- dude, i didn't have a nose plug. i was basically waterboarding myself are like six hours. >> stephen: wait a second. this was your idea. you have this image in your head. you mind if i ask what it meant to you? is that interpretation, my interpretation your intention don't need to agree. >> billie: yeah. >> stephen: so to me it looks like the alternate ending to titanic. >> billie: [laughs] right. >> stephen: jack got on the door and they both died. >> billie: oh, my god. >> stephen: did i crack the code? >> billie: that's so real, dude. really the main point, aside from what it means or whatever it is that the point of it is, it's supposed to be like a lot of my inspirations for the visuals on this album were like optical illusion type things. things that make you question or think about it for longer. i wanted to make you think. >> stephen: we have to take a
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quick break but please take around. we'll be right back with more billie eilish, everybody. from pep in their step to shine in their coats, when people switch their dog's food to the farmer's dog, the effects can seem like magic. but there's no magic involved. (dog bark) it's just smarter, healthier pet food. it's amazing what real food can do. it's derm's day off, but neutrogena ultra sheer sunscreen is still on the clock. vital sun protection goes six layers deep blocking 97% of burning uv rays. it's light, but it's working hard. unlike me. neutrogena ultra sheer sunscreen. (marci) so, how long have you lived here? (opponent) over forty years. (marci) and how are the restaurants around here? are they good, bad, meh? what's the average household income? is there a mall? i don't know. a hair salon? where do you get your hair done? (opponent) you gonna move, or what? (marci) oh, i'm sorry. it's a lovely neighborhood. (luke) marci, we've gotta go. (marci) i'm coming! (luke) we've got seventeen thousand more parks to visit.
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a slow network is no network for business. ge that's why moret choose comcast business. and now, we're introducing ultimate speed for business —our fastest plans yet. we're up to 12 times faster than verizon, at&t, and t-mobile. and existing customers could even get up to triple the speeds... at no additional cost. it's ultimate speed for ultimate business. don't miss out on our fastest speed plans yet! switch to comcast business and get started for $49.99 a month. plus, ask how to get up to an $800 prepaid card. call today! >> stephen: hey, everybody. look at that. her new album is "hit me hard and soft." we are back here with billie eilish. you recently told rolling stone that "i feel like this album is me.
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it's not a character." what kind of character do you think you are portraying up until now? >> billie: i think i had on my first moments and i put all my stuff out when i was a very young teenager. i think for a while i had this feeling that i was like very thought of as one thing and i felt like i really didn't have room to do anything but the thing that people thought that i did. so i think with "happier than ever," the last album i put out, it was most like a reaction of light... i'm going to do whatever i want to do and here it is. i may have gone a little -- i went, really wanted to prove a point so i think i went so far that's kind of what i needed to do. i needed to, like, play this whole thing of, like, i'm not what you think i am. i thought of the time it was very needy and i realized in hindsight it was like i was just trying to be seen and express
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myself and show that people can be multifaceted and i am one of those people. i think with "hit me hard and soft," it's like the first time since i've been an adult and maybe ever in my kind of creative life. it truly is the most genuine thing i've ever made. it feels very, very me. it feels like all of the music is exactly who i am, the visuals are exactly who i am and that's honestly terrifying, that's why i'm literally shaking right now. >> stephen: it requires vulnerability. >> billie: right. >> stephen: a character is protected, it's a mask. you joined lana del rey at coachella. >> billie: i did. >> stephen: last month. brilliant artist. she introduced you as "the voice of our generation."
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no pressure. >> billie: right. >> stephen: how to have an artist you admire describe you that way. >> billie: it's ridiculous. because she's the voice of my generation it feels like. she's really one of the main, top three reasons that i am the person that i am in the artist that i am and i even started making music in the first place and it was crazy to hear her say that. i love her so much. >> stephen: your vocal style has had an influence on a lot of other artists. i'm just curious who were the people that influenced your style? because i hear, i'm going to go ahead. i hear a lot of people but go ahead. >> billie: i would love to hear what you hear. >> stephen: i hear chet baker. >> billie: dude! i was going to say. lana was a big one. i love singing. but no, it's truly the thing i love most of the entire world. i love to sing so much and i always have.
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singers was my [bleep one of my favorite singers in the world was ella fitzgerald. julie london, johnny mathis, harry belafonte, sarah vaughan, chet baker. that's the kind of vocalist i've always been really drawn to and very inspired by. i feel like we're lacking vocals, you know what i'm saying? i don't know. i don't know what [bleep] i'm saying, guys. if you are not every vocalist has a recognizable style as soon as you hear that. you know billie eilish when you hear her. was that the product of your love for these other artists just coming out through you or a choice? >> billie: i think that it first, you know i started recording when i was 13. you've got to take time to get to know yourself.
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i think at first it was, i was seeing the way i knew how to sing in the way i felt like it sounded good. with inspiration from my favorite singers and songs and artists. i think over time i learned who i was and how i actually wanted to sound and what was genuine. that's why i think it's really important that people are more forgiving of inspiration because i think that we live in a world where everyone wants to have everything be perfectly original and no one has ever done it ever in their lives. absolutely pure you don't want to copy anyone but you have to let yourself be inspired. and i think that when anybody ever, when i hear a song or see an artist to something or somebody, whatever, some younger artist comes out of a song that sounds like mine or their voice sounds like mine, people are like -- i'm like dude, it's okay. let them figure it out. they are inspired and inspirations going to turn into more inspiration is going to turn into more inspiration.
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you've got to let yourself do that. >> stephen: have you thought about doing an album of standards? >> billie: yeah, yeah. i would love to do that. >> stephen: i would love you to do that. >> billie: i would love to do that, stephen. [applause] >> stephen: if you need anyone to do a duet. give me a call. give me a call. we have to take another break. don't go away. we'll be right back with more billie eilish, everybo. to severe ulcerative colitis te or crohn's disease... put it in check with rinvoq... a once—daily pill. when symptoms tried to take control, i got rapid relief... and reduced fatigue with rinvoq. check. when flares kept trying to slow me down... i got lasting steroid—free remission... with rinvoq. check. and when my doctor saw damage,... rinvoq helped visibly reduce damage of the intestinal lining. check. for both uc and crohn's: rapid symptom relief... lasting steroid—free remission... and visibly reduced damage. check. check. and check.
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>> stephen: ladies and gentlemen, her new album is "hit me hard and soft." it's billie eilish. billie. [cheering] in your 2001 documentary "billie eilish: the world is a little blurry." >> billie: did you say 2001? >> stephen: i'm sorry, 2021. your documentary "2001: a billie eilish." your mom taught you to write ongs and you dad taught you to play piano. there's the fan. do you still think of your family as a song? >> billie: dude, my family is so musical. we remain that way. i grew up thinking that every family was like that. i thought everyone was singing
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all the time and playing music with her family. you all are laughing. i literally thought that was the case. i don't know. we are big fans. our whole family, we are music fans. we love music and i think that's what it stems from. last night we were just like, wherever we are staying here, just playing music and playing guitar and singing and harmonizing and singing beatles songs and that's what it's always been and it's so wonderful. my mom such an incredible song writer and my dad taught me how to play piano when i was a kid and he would perform with me of the talent shows and my mom would perform with me at the talent shows. it's very musical and it's lovely. >> stephen: what are you playing for us tonight? [cheers and applause]
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>> billie: [laughs] i am going to be playing a new song of the new album called "lunch." [cheering] >> stephen: thank you for being here. so glad to finally meet you. stick around for a performance from her new album "hit me hard and soft." billie eilish, everybody.
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♪ from the mountains to the coast... ♪ ♪ heatin' up the kitchen ♪ ♪ we got somethin different ♪ ♪ spreadin' good vibes all day ♪ ♪ todos a la mesa ♪ ♪ que buena la mezcla ♪ ♪ it don't get no better ♪ ♪ livin' in the golden state ♪ ♪ lovin' this land everyday ♪ ♪ norte a sur lo puedes ver ♪ ♪ nada se puede comparar ♪ ♪ livin' in the golden state ♪ ♪ vive en el estado dorado...yeah ♪
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>> stephen: her new album, "hit me hard and soft," came out on friday. and now performing "lunch", ladies and gentlemen, billie eilish. [cheers and applause] ♪ mm-mm ♪ ♪ i could eat that girl ♪ ♪ for lunch ♪ ♪ yeah, she dances ♪ ♪ on my tongue ♪ ♪ tastes like she might be ♪ ♪ the one ♪ ♪ and i could never get enough ♪ ♪ i could buy her ♪ ♪ so much stuff ♪ ♪ it's a craving not a crush ♪ ♪ huh ♪ ♪ "call me when you're there" ♪
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♪ said, "i bought you ♪ ♪ somethin' rare ♪ ♪ and i left it ♪ ♪ under "claire" ♪ ♪ so now, she's comin' up ♪ ♪ the stairs ♪ ♪ so i'm pullin' up a chair ♪ ♪ and i'm puttin' up my hair ♪ ♪ baby, i think you were ♪ ♪ made for me ♪ ♪ somebody write down ♪ ♪ the recipe ♪ ♪ been tryin' hard ♪ ♪ not to overeat ♪ ♪ you're just so sweet ♪ ♪ i'll run a shower for you ♪ ♪ like you want ♪ ♪ clothes on the counter ♪ ♪ for you, try 'em on ♪ ♪ if i'm allowed ♪ ♪ i'll help you take 'em off ♪ ♪ i could eat that girl ♪ ♪ for lunch ♪ ♪ yeah, she dances ♪ ♪ on my tongue ♪ ♪ tastes like she might be ♪ ♪ the one ♪ ♪ and i could never get enough ♪ ♪ i could buy her ♪ ♪ so much stuff ♪ ♪ it's a craving not a crush ♪
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♪ ♪ ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ she's takin' pictures ♪ ♪ in the mirror ♪ ♪ oh, my god ♪ ♪ her skin's so clear ♪ ♪ tell her ♪ ♪ "bring that over here" ♪ ♪ you need a seat? ♪ ♪ i'll volunteer ♪ ♪ now she's smilin' ear to ear ♪ ♪ she's the headlights ♪ ♪ i'm the deer ♪ ♪ i've said it all before ♪ ♪ but i'll say it again ♪ ♪ i'm interested in more than ♪ ♪ just bein' your friend ♪ ♪ i don't wanna break it ♪ ♪ just want it to bend ♪ ♪ do you know how to bend? ♪ ♪ i could eat that girl ♪ ♪ for lunch ♪ ♪ she dances on my tongue ♪ ♪ i know it's just a hunch ♪ ♪ but she might be the one ♪
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♪ i could ♪ ♪ eat ♪ ♪ eat that girl for lunch ♪ ♪ yeah, she ♪ ♪ yeah, she ♪ ♪ tastes like she might be ♪ ♪ the one ♪ ♪ i could ♪ ♪ i could ♪ ♪ eat that girl for lunch ♪ ♪ yeah, she ♪ ♪ yeah, she ♪ ♪ tastes like she might be ♪ ♪ the one ♪ [cheers and applause] >> stephen: billie eilish, everybody! that's it for "the late show." good night!

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