>> it's like a camel. >> just unhinging your jaw. >> to be fair, joey chestnut has 1.2 million reasons -- >> hey, i get paid and i don't have to do that to myself this year. >> yeah. i wonder if the indigestion would be the same if you're competitively eating the vegan hot dog. maybe not. >> i wonder what his teeth are like. >> i'll never find >> trump's golf club in bedminster is now in danger of losing its liquor license. new jersey state lawmakers say it is illegal to issue liquor licenses to any person convicted of a crime involving moral turpitude. his 34 felonies qualify for that. >> we here at trump national golf club bedminster know that golf isn't a game anyone wants to play sober. our members have made that very clear.

>> we can't let 'em get away with this! >> to address the problem, we're releasing onto our golf course thousands of psychedelic toads for our members to lick! ♪ ♪ go ahead. lick the toad. watch the water hazard breathe. and watch this guy hit a 5-iron into another dimension. >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert"! tonight... the hunter games! plus, stephen welcomes jake gyllenhaal! and chloe fineman! featuring louis cato and "the late show" band. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! [cheers and applause]

♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, everybody! thank you. thank you, my friends. please. pop a squat. welcome one and all in here, out there to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. [cheering] folks, there are a lot of stories out there, but there's one everyone's talking about, and it's that today, a federal jury in delaware found hunter biden guilty on all three charges in his felony gun trial. now, that is truly shocking news. evidently, in america, there is a wrong way to buy a gun. i didn't know that. i had no idea. i've never heard that before. now, it's no secret how i feel

about trump's conviction. so ethically and morally, i have to be consistent and say that, in light of this verdict, i don't believe hunter biden [laughter] should be president. [cheering] president biden believes in the rule of law. he has already promised to accept the verdict and not pardon hunter. but he did show how much he loves his son with this statement today. "i am the president, but i am also a dad. jill and i love our son, and we are so proud of the man he is today. i wll accept the outcome of this case and will continue to respect the judicial process as hunter considers an appeal. jill and i will always be there for hunter. nothing will ever change that. [cheering] that is moving. in stark contrast, trump's campaign made this statement. "crooked joe biden's reign over the biden family criminal

empire is all coming to an end on november 5th. as for hunter, we wish him well in his recovery and legal affairs." surprisingly gracious there at the end. which is why, almost immediately, trump's campaign sent an updated statement striking the well wishes for hunter. "sorry, folks, that's on me. i mistakenly used an old statement and just did a find and replace for the name jeffrey epstein. i'm sorry. we miss you, jeff. we miss you, jeff." oh, there's a lot going on for president biden right now. last night, while his son's jury deliberated, biden hosted a juneteenth celebration, even though juneteenth is still eight days away. come on, it's an 81-year-old man. of course he's going for the early bird special. at the party, the celebration, there were celebrity guests, music, dancing, and there was one moment where biden

showed off his own special dance move: the grandpa statue. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] "yeah! everybody now! to the left. now to the right. wave your hands in the air like you just don't care! come on!"

[cheering] ♪ ♪ every day, we learn a new fun tidbit about convicted felon donald trump's felony convictions. we just found out that he could be ineligible to hold liquor licenses at his new jersey golf courses. that's right, no liquor at trump golf courses. in a related story, rudy giuliani announced he's voting for joe biden. [laughter] the reason trump could lose the liquor license is that, according to new jersey law, license holders "must have a reputable character and would be expected to operate the licensed business in a reputable manner." of course, this is new jersey, so by "reputable" they mean if you're gonna do fireball shots out of a stripper's buttcrack, use a coaster. now, despite...

[laughter] i want to make a joke about salting the rim but i won't. i won't. i won't do it. i won't do it. [laughter] despite being a felon, people keep asking donald trump for his opinion on stuff. for instance, there's a new book coming out about "the apprentice" and in it, the former president muses about pop princess taylor swift. in the book, trump says oh taylor swift, "i think she's liberal. she probably doesn't like trump. i think she's very beautiful. it surprises me that a country star can be successful being liberal." he seems kind of surprised that someone can be beautiful and not like him. has he never met his wife?

[cheering] there's more controversy for supreme court justice and baby who definitely does not want that airplane to come in for a landing, samuel alito. alito's been in hot water lately for -- among other things -- flying multiple flags that support the january 6th insurrectionists outside of his homes. now he has been secretly recorded saying what the flags only hinted at. last week, alito attended a fancy dinner held by the supreme court historical society, where he met a woke in sheep's clothing, liberal activist and filmmaker lauren windsor, who asked questions of the justice as though she were a religious conservative. i know that seems shady, but it's a legitimate interview technique taught at the borat school of journalism. yes. the borat... the borat school of journalism.

also where alito learned how to blame everything on "my wiiiife." here's alito after windsor complains that there's no way religious conservatives can possibly compromise with liberals. >> i think you're probably right. one side or the other, one side or the other is going to win. i don't know. i mean, there can be a -- a way of working, a way of living together peacefully, but it's difficult, you know, because there are differences on fundamental things that really can't be compromised. >> stephen: you're a supreme court justice. you're not supposed to be thinking about what side someone is on. you're supposed to decide cases. impartial. that's why lady justice has a blindfold and a scale, not 3d glasses and a popcorn bucket!

[cheers and applause] these surreptitious recordings also captured alito's flag-addicted wife, martha-ann. she's already caught a lot of heat from the flag stuff. and when windsor asked her about the blowback, martha-ann said she'd get even. >> they're persecuting you. >> look at me. i'm german. from germany. my heritage is german. you come after me, i'm gonna give it back to you. >> stephen: ohhh. that clears it up. she's not a fascist. she's just hellbent on revenge the "german way." auf deutch. and of course, if you're hanging out with martha-ann, we're talkin' flag. >> you know what i want? i want a sacred heart of jesus flag, because i have to look across the lagoon at the pride flag for the next month.

>> stephen: i believe we actually have footage of martha-ann after seeing a pride flag from her beach house. >> these gays, they're trying to murder me. >> stephen: but that was just the tip of the flagberg. because as it turns out, justice alito may have tried to discourage his wife's favorite hobby. >> and he's like, "oh, please don't put up a flag." i said, "i won't do it because i'm deferring to you. but when you are free of this nonsense, i'm putting it up and i'm gonna send them a message every day. maybe every week, i'll be changing the flags. they'll be all kinds. i made a flag in my head. this is how i satisfy myself. of [laughter] >> stephen: satisfy yourself? really? i'm not gonna kink shame. but why is her anger always channeled through flags? i'd love to see her get cut off in traffic.

"oooh, have i got a flag in my head for you, subaru outback. ooh, just two weeks from now, just you wait. you are gonna get it. siri, navigate to jo-ann fabrics." martha-ann went on to describe her perfect imaginary revenge flag. >> it's white and it has yellow and orange flames around it. and in the middle is the word "vergogna." "vergogna" in italian means shame, vergogna. v-e-r-g-o-g-n-a. vergogna. >> stephen: first of all, there's already an italian flag that means shame. and it's this one. [applause] but i can see why she took the trouble to spell it out. "oh, look, the alitos put up a new flag. what does it say?

ver-gina? with flames around it? i think somebody has a yeast infection! take an oatmeal bath, honey!" look, mrs. alito, i know you want to express your disapproval of pride month by hoisting a "vergogna" up the flagpole, but unfortunately, "vergogna flagpole" is already the name of a very successful drag queen. when she wasn't fantasizing about attacking people through semaphore, it sounded like martha-ann was having a pretty good time at the party. here she is bidding farewell to a friend named cat. >> bye, baby! bye, cat! meow, mow, mow, mow. mow, mow. she's a bad girl. [laughter] >> stephen: by the way, "meow, mow, mow, mow, mow, mow, she's a bad girl," also the catchphrase of vergogna flagpole. we got a great show for you tonight! my guests are jake gyllenhaal and "saturday night live's" chloe fineman.

but when we come back, "meanwhile"! join us, won't you? >> announcer: "the late show with stephen colbert" sponsored by simparica trio. for winning protection, go with simparica trio.

( ♪♪ ) you made a cow! actually it's a piggy bank. my inspiration to start saving. how about a more solid way to save? i'm listening. well, bmo helps get your savings habit into shape with a cash reward every month you save. both: cash reward? and there's a cash bonus when you open a new checking account to get you started. wow. anything you can't do? ( ♪♪ ) mugs. ♪ bmo ♪

♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> stephen: give it up for the band, everybody. louis cato and "the late show" band. louis, please. >> louis: yes, sir. [cheering] >> stephen: louis, please let us know the honor we have in the band this evening. >> louis: what an honor. the legendary fred wesley. [cheers and applause] >> very happy to be here. >> stephen: thank you so much for being here. fred played with the james brown band. he's going to be touring in the northeast. thank you. folks, if you watch the show, you know, i spend most of my

time working the news kiln to fire the most topical story pottery in a slender ovoid form carefully applied with pale bluish celadon and qin jin lan glazes, flecked with cobalt-blue speckles evoking a snowfall on a winter night, fired at a low temperature, around 800, 900 degrees celsius, to create for you the striking chinese snowflake blue yongzheng style vase that is my monologue. but sometimes, just sometimes, folks, i am prodded awake by the crows near a runoff pond where i dig up a busted-out costco yogurt tub, then weave a handle out of strips torn off some discarded overalls then try to catch runoff in the squalid transient's gutter bucket of news that is my segment... >> "meanwhile"! [cheers and applause] >> stephen: there you go. it's light, tender, part. meanwhile, dolly parton has announced plans for a broadway musical based on her life called "hello, i'm dolly."

kinda confusing when there's already a broadway show called "hello, dolly." reminds me of that other autobiographical country musical, "what's up? i'm willie nelson, the phantom of the opera." i love you, willie. meanwhile, a new costco exec warns that changes are coming in the stores, but the $1.50 hot dog is safe. [cheering] to which anyone who's had the $1.50 hot dog said, "no, sir. no, it's not." in more news from costco-land, costco plans to stop selling books on a regular basis. but will continue to sell books between september and december for the holidays. well, thank goodness! i'll still be able to get evie her favorite christmas present: 600 copies of cormac mccarthy's "the road" and a $1.50 hot dog.

[laughter] there it is. meanwhile, down in oklahoma city, the tallest skyscraper in the u.s. has just been approved for unlimited height. oh, good, because the god-fearing people of oklahoma know that nothing ever went wrong building a tower that touched the heavens. meanwhile, on friday, pat sajak took his final spin as host on "wheel of fortune" after 41 years. sajak has given america four decades and 8,000 episodes of entertainment, won multiple daytime emmys, earned a star on the hollywood walk of fame, and served in vietnam, but perhaps his greatest contribution to this country is giving me an excuse to show this clip again. >> category is phrase. and off we go. ♪ ♪ tavaris? >> right in the butt? >> what!

[cheering] >> stephen: thank you for your service, pat. thank you. meanwhile, in music news, sabrina carpenter is releasing an ice cream following the success of her hit song. it's an espresso-flavored ice cream, after sabrina's song "espresso" and will feature a real espresso base. hopefully it does better than when the beatles released their poorly received "i am the walrus" gelato, with a base of real goo goo g'joob. yellow matter custard? meanwhile, in autobot crime news, down in texas, a man whose actual name is optimus prime was arrested for auto theft. even more shocking, on the new york subway system, the original optimus prime was arrested for indecent exposure.

meanwhile, in public transportation news, a wild video shows massive swarm of bees colonizing a new york city subway entrance, but the mta announced "there is no impact to service." really? you know that the subway experience is pretty rough when a massive swarm of bees doesn't affect service at all. "uh, ladies and gentlemen, in addition to puddles of urine, a rat with a gun, and optimus prime flashing people, we are currently besieged by a hundred thousand bees. no change of service. next stop: times square." [speaking spanish] meanwhile, new york's dmv has launched 12 new zodiac licenseplates. i assume they mean astrological signs and not license plates designed by the zodiac killer.

we'll be right back with jake gyllenhaal! [ cellphone ringing ] phone call from the boss? sorry. outdoor time is me time. i hear that. that's why we protect all your vehicles here. but hey...nothing wrong with sticking it to the boss. ooooh, flo, you gonna take that? why would that concern me? because you're...the... aren't you the..? huh...we never actually discussed hierarchy. ok, why don't we just stick to letting dave know how much he can save when he bundles his home or auto with his boat or rv. wait, i thought jamie was the boss. [ laughter ] it's funny because i'm not boss material! ♪ ♪ have you always had trouble losing weight and keeping it off? same. discover the power of wegovy®. ♪ ♪ with wegovy®, i lost 35 pounds. and some lost over 46 pounds. ♪ ♪ and i'm keeping the weight off. wegovy® helps you lose weight and keep it off.

i'm reducing my risk. wegovy® is the only fda-approved weight-management medicine that's proven to reduce risk of major cardiovascular events in adults with known heart disease and with either obesity or overweight. wegovy® shouldn't be used with semaglutide or glp-1 medicines. don't take wegovy® if you or your family had medullary thyroid cancer, multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if allergic to it. stop wegovy® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or an allergic reaction. serious side effects may happen, including pancreatitis and gallbladder problems. wegovy® may cause low blood sugar in people with diabetes, especially if you take medicines to treat diabetes. tell your provider about vision problems or changes, or if you feel your heart racing while at rest. depression or thoughts of suicide may occur. call your provider right away if you have any mental changes. common side effects like nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea may lead to dehydration, which may cause kidney problems. with wegovy®, i'm losing weight, i'm keeping it off. and i'm lowering my cv risk. that's the power of we. ♪ ♪

check your cost and coverage before talking to your health care professional about wegovy®. it's hard to run a business on your own. make it easier on yourself. with shopify, you can have your inventory, payments, and customers in sync across all the places you sell. start your journey with a free trial today. auntie, you can't put that right in the dishwasher. watch me. with cascade platinum plus i have upped my dish game. i just scrape... load... and i'm done. in that dishwasher? in that dishwasher. only platinum plus is packed with more dawn to remove up to 100% of grease and food residue. get the highest standard of clean, even in your machine. clean enough for ya? yeah. scrape, load, done. cascade platinum plus. dare to dish differently. "9 out of 10 people don't get enough fiber" benefiber is the easy, gentle solution for every day. its plant-based prebiotic fiber nourishes good bacteria in your gut

working with your body to promote digestive health. with so many ways to enjoy, benefiber is your fiber, your way. you told mom to send her prescription to amazon pharmacy. she didn't. (over speaker) price check in pharmacy. all mom had to do was use amazon pharmacy. and her meds would get delivered right to her door. this is a "got up too fast from tying your shoes" back injury. lucky for you amazon one medical can help.

they're great for sneeze related back injuries too. (♪♪) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. ladies and gentlemen, my first guest this evening is an oscar-nominated actor

you know from films such as "brokeback mountain," "nightcrawler," and "spider-man: far from home." please welcome back to "the late show," jake gyllenhaal! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ nice to see you. >> jake: nice to s see you. >> stephen: jake gyllenhaal, everybody. you don't get jake gyllenhaal every day. have you been? >> jake: so great. how about you? >> stephen: my spring has accelerated toward summer and a very pleasing way. >> jake: the weather is nice. >> stephen: it's been wonderful. you know what else is wonderful about new york, broadway, this is a broadway theater. we are here on broadway row, as we call it.

it's just been announced excited about this. denzel washington and jake gyllenhaal will lead othello on broadway. >> jake: that is broadway news. >> stephen: broadway news. you know that's true. i'm very excited. you will be iago, i assume. perfect part for you. >> jake: thank you? >> stephen: a very appealing as a performer but also the character is sinister at the same time. he's got to play both sides of it. have you ever done iago? you have done shakespeare before? >> jake: i have. in high school. >> stephen: i'm sure it will be very similar. >> jake: it's funny you say that. i find really it's obviously, there are many more people. people come to see it and it's broadway. but i get to the same feeling i did when i was in high school, the same feeling of standing up there. the gratitude and the

excitement. it's never changed. >> stephen: nervousness? >> jake: no nervousness, totally fine. >> stephen: when you were starting out, did you have the experience, that i had a lot of actors do, where do i put my hands? what do you do with your hands? >> jake: i feel that way all the time. [laughter] it's definitely one of those things where they tell you to keep your hands still. if you gesticulating to much, it definitely feels -- >> stephen: i get what you're saying to me. >> jake: i think it's more italian than acting. >> stephen: pretty good actors, though. we know you as a big movie star and a broadway star but now you are dipping into the waters of episodic television. you start a new limited series, "presumed innocent." a lot of us remember the 1990 film with harrison ford. without giving anything away, obviously it's a mystery and a thriller. what do people need to know? >> jake: simply put, it's a

story about ida in chicago who had had an affair. the woman he had an affair with his murdered and he becomes the primary suspect. the whole thing turns on him. >> stephen: and you play him. >> jake: i play him. >> stephen: i understand there's a mannerism, thing you do with your glasses that you took from an old family friend in this performance. >> jake: i stole -- a family friend, paul newman was a family friend. he used to do all these great things with his glasses. such cool stuff. he would do this thing read have them on. whoa. [laughter] never mind! never mind! [laughter] >> stephen: have you got vertigo? >> jake: hold on. [screams] okay, so he would do this cool thing where he would take them off and he would hang them right here like this.

oh, it was so cool. still are not necessarily -- it's a cool thing because paul newman is doing it. let me try and see if it looks at school. let me try. >> jake: it looks cool. it looks cool. >> stephen: anything else? >> jake: they would go here or they would go here. they would hang sideways. >> stephen: he didn't have a pocket? >> jake: continue work without these? if i break them. >> stephen: sure. >> jake: he would hang them, not here. he would hang them all the way down here. i think that's the coolest thing ever. and so i did that as a character. >> stephen: your belly button is nearsighted. it's incredible cast. bruce camp, elizabeth marble, family member, your brother-in-law, peter scars guard. he placed --

what did you say? >> jake: he is? >> stephen: he plays your adversary. we have a clip. is there anything we need to know? >> jake: me and my brother-in-law, one of my best -- the best actors working. he's the opposing d.a. you have questions. >> one was the last time -- >> i was at the scene following her death. >> but your loved up. your fingerprints were in her bedroom. when was the last time you were in carolyn's apartment prior to the murder? >> we had cases, trials. sometimes we work after hours and sometimes we would be at her apartment. >> you discussed cases at her apartment customer >> we were work colleagues. >> i looked at carolyn's call logs on her cell phone.

you had quite a few calls. >> what is the point? >> i'm trying to find out when the last time you were in carolyn's apartment prior to the murder and he said that you worked on cases. >> do i need a lawyer present at this meeting? [applause] >> stephen: without giving anything away, did you do it? we have to take a quick break but don't go away. we'll be right back with more jake gyllenhaal, everybody.

♪♪ thank you agent state farm. like a good neighbaaa, state farm is there. cut! it's “neighbor.” that's what i said, neighbaaa. gettin' closer! ♪♪ zyrtec allergy relief works fast and lasts a full 24 hours so dave can be the... deliverer of dance. ok, dave! let's be more than our allergies. zeize the day with zyrtec. inez, let me ask you, you're using head and shoulders, right? only when i see flakes. then i switch back to my regular shampoo. you should use it every wash, otherwise the flakes will come back. tiny troy: he's right, you know. is that tiny troy? the ingredients in head and shoulders keep the microbes that cause flakes at bay. microbes, really? they're always on your scalp... little rascals... but good news, there's no itchiness, dryness or flakes down here! i love tiny troy. and his tiny gorgeous hair. he's the best.

- make every wash count! - little help please. from pep in their step to shine in their coats, when people switch their dog's food to the farmer's dog, the effects can seem like magic. but there's no magic involved. (dog bark) it's just smarter, healthier pet food. it's amazing what real food can do.

[♪♪] ♪ welcome to nada yada island ♪ things started off great, but once the new wore off... they changed. in the beginning, i got gifts, like a phone. and the next thing you know, it's like i'm invisible. so i switched up, and uh got me a new phone carrier. don't put up with wireless yada yada, now with metro get that new customer feeling again and again, introducing metro flex, free 5g phones when you join, same deals as new customers when you stay. only at metro.

♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, we're back with the star of "presumed innocent." jake gyllenhaal. now then. do you enjoy working with family members? is it always fun? >> jake: it really is. at this point in our lives. my brother-in-law is, i really think one of the best actors working. i think you always want somebody, i think a relationship only deepens your experience as an actor. you're in a fictional space. you come into you already know each other. you know so much about each other. if you recognize the space is something you know already, you can play with everything you have.

we have great respect for each other. >> stephen: do you? >> jake: not really. he did it. >> stephen: peter sarsgaard says i enjoy giving j.k. lot of [bleep]. do you give him some back? >> jake: i would never. [laughs] he was an only child so i think i like to think that i am his first brother. >> stephen: he's not used to sharing. >> jake: giving each other [bleep] is what being brothers is about so i take it as a great complement. >> stephen: which one of you is the older brother? >> jake: he is, very much so. >> stephen: you were roommates for a while? you are living together? >> jake: yeah. peter started off, he came back every single weekend of a six-month shoot to see his daughters, came here. we shot in los angeles. he got an airbnb and they would find back then finally just

started staying with me. we spent five months living the same house. fly back on the weekend to new york, come back at 2:00 a.m. on a sunday, start working it's exam on monday. we spent all week together and we love each other more. >> stephen: that's a good sign. [applause] it has been pointed out, it has been noted that your character, a suburban lawyer, for some reason has the same physique as your character dalton from "roadhouse." [cheering] >> jake: what are you saying about lawyers? i don't understand. >> stephen: there is a lot of sitting and reading for a lawyer. why does your character have this physique? was it intentional? >> jake: people don't understand that in order to get abs coming up to sit and read really, really hard. >> stephen: is the any reason why you had stand that kind of

shape? >> jake: absolutely none. actually what happened was we were shooting "roadhouse," i was supposed to shoot a scene at live at the ufc and we did but that was right before we are going to start this and i got covid the night before and we had to cancel everything and we had to postpone the event until the next one in vegas, three months later. so i had to stay in shape to the whole thing for that one event that one weekend. which was great, it's great to be in shape. but yes, it posed an issue with certain scenes, understanding why it was a lawyer on trial like that. >> stephen: does the lawyer get naked? >> jake: yeah. [cheering] >> stephen: i'm just trying to sell tickets. show business, baby. >> jake: the lawyer very much gets naked. >> stephen: it sounds like a

great series. "roadhouse," people are like, it broke all kinds of records. 50 million people watched it in the first two weekends and they have just announced, is this netflix? >> jake: no, amazon. >> stephen: my apologies. >> jake: no worries. he says he's sorry. >> stephen: they are doing "road house 2" what part will i play? i assume that if i am in it, they will give me one of these bodies. they just shoot you up with something, right? it's ozempic and filler, right? >> jake: that's it. the thing is, what you don't know, i really want to do in the first one. >> stephen: i auditioned for the movie. >> jake: i know acts like the original one here we talked about it. >> stephen: i thought you would keep your promise. >> jake: you a -- i tried. you are busy with some [bleep]

show. >> stephen: "presumed innocent" premiers jake gyllenhaal, everybody. we'll be right back with "saturday night live's" chloe fineman. with apretude, a prescription medicine used to reduce the risk of hiv without daily prep pills. with one shot every other month, just 6 times a year. in studies, apretude was proven superior to a daily prep pill in reducing the risk of hiv. you must be hiv negative, to receive apretude and get tested before each injection. if you think you were exposed to hiv or have flu-like symptoms, tell your doctor right away. apretude does not prevent other sexually transmitted infections. practice safer sex to reduce your risk. don't take apretude if you're allergic to it or taking certain medicines, as they may interact. tell your doctor if you've had liver or kidney problems or mental health concerns. if you have a rash or other allergic reactions, stop apretude and get medical help right away. serious side effects include allergic reactions,

liver problems, and depression. some of the most common side effects include injection-site reactions and headache. you must receive apretude as scheduled. ask your doctor about long-acting apretude. and prep without pills. save at apretude.com. i thought i was sleeping ok...

but i was waking up so tired. then i tried new zzzquil sleep nasal strips. their four—point lift design opens my nose for maximum air flow. so, i breathe better. and we both sleep better. and stay married. ♪ “watch me” by biig piig ♪ ♪ 'cause i feel it light up ♪ ♪ can you spark this fire? ♪ ♪ and watch me move ♪ ♪ ♪ for you ♪ ♪ move ♪ ♪ ♪ move ♪ ♪ and watch me move ♪ ♪ maybe you should settle down ♪ ♪ and watch me move ♪ what's the worst part of the locker room? shareef: axe. axe. brandon: i like that. shareef: reminds me of like a designer store. brandon: this smells like a candle. shareef: is this a joke? you chose axe! brandon: i knew i had good taste! shareef: i thought that was a designer brand.

a slow network is no network for business. b that's why more choose comcast business. and now, we're introducing ultimate speed for business —our fastest plans yet. we're up to 12 times faster than verizon, at&t, and t-mobile. and existing customers could even get up to triple the speeds... at no additional cost. it's ultimate speed for ultimate business. don't miss out on our fastest speed plans yet! switch to comcast business and get started for $49.99 a month. plus, ask how to get up to an $800 prepaid card. call today! ♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, their ego. caught me by surprise. welcome back, everybody.

ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is an actor and comedian you know from "search party" and "saturday night live." please welcome to "the late show," chloe fineman! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ hi. hey, nice to meet you. >> chloe: nice to meet you. >> stephen: congrats on wrapping, you are done for the year? >> chloe: i think so. i hope. >> stephen: you don't have to do anything? >> chloe: my brain is slowly coming back. >> stephen: season 49. what are you doing? is it nice to have a break? >> chloe: yeah. i feel like our eyes are slowly opening. my fellow cast members and people who work at the show, it's nice. the other side. it's an amazing job and i'm so grateful. >> stephen: people don't understand, i worked there

briefly, i was a guest writer for a month. people don't understand the amount of effort that goes into that show, it's relentless. when do you sleep? >> chloe: sunday? i don't really know. it's sort of like a six-day w week. i know everyone is younger than i, although i'm not that old. but everyone is young and 20s and they can be on things. >> stephen: they can be on things? >> chloe: they can be on things and they get to work at 11:00 in the moning. they go so hard and so long and i'm in my 30s. >> stephen: are the doctors sure? [laughter] >> chloe: it's stuff. the back does start to hurt, i have to say. it's a real thing. >> stephen: folks know you from your impressions. and many other things. i enjoyed your jojo siwa and her

bad girl face. [applause] >> chloe: yeah! >> stephen: when you do impressions, do they ever dislike it? >> chloe: yeah, i have gotten notes, some feedback. >> stephen: like "knock it off. i'm coming for you." >> chloe: it is more nasally than that. jojo i was kind of terrified. there is a hive, a posse. her fiance are called the siwanators. she just turned 21 and i am an old 30-year-old hag. i opened my phone and she sent me a voice note after i did it which i guess is how young people communicate. i am acting like i am 1000 years old. so i opened this voice note and she was like "i can't believe you did that. i just want to say you [bleep]

crushed it." >> stephen: when did you get the note? >> chloe: on instagram, you can open the app on the phone. >> stephen: i understand how phones work. i am 60. but i understand how phones work. did you get it that night? did you get it the next day? >> chloe: what is time? i believe it was in the morning. >> stephen: you are part of the all-star cast of francis ford coppola's "megalopolis" which premiered at cannes. i've never been. is it fun? >> chloe: the first day that i got there someone said it's the super bowl for escorts. [laughter] >> stephen: you mean like, like, like prostitutes? >> chloe: , whores, but we call them sex workers in 2024. i did find that interesting tidbit. >> stephen: you have jon

voight, db sweeney, giancarlo esposito. there is francis ford coppola himself. i view down here. what is it like being on the red carpet and being with all these super -- if actors are looked down on, canadians are really look down on. >> chloe: in the basement. it's unbelievable. francis ford coppola is one of the greatest ever. you're with these wonderful artists. it's really "pinch me." i just met laurence fishburne and we are like we've known each other forever. it's unbelievable. also france also has had amelie quality, and little french girl. >> stephen: i know the movie. >> chloe: there is something

about cannes and they are like "cinema in the beauty of the movies." >> stephen: i didn't know you spoke french. well, the sublime to the ridiculous, you were also in, and so remarkably play a couple in the new film "despicable me 4". >> chloe: minions. >> stephen: we are a couple. i am. prescott. you are. >> chloe: patsy prescott. >> stephen: in this movie i sound like stephen colbert. but you do not sound like you. tell me about the voice. >> chloe: i knew i was going to be your wife and it's lovely to meet you today for the first time. lovely to meet you. >> stephen: are people don't know is that you do it alone in a booth. >> chloe: hi. >> stephen: hi. >> chloe: hi. >> stephen: we need to talk about our marriage. >> chloe: we do. i tried a lot of things. it was like the cousin of

jennifer coolidge or the older sister of reese witherspoon. you are from south carolina. i guess i just thought in my head that you'd be like kind of doing a thing. >> stephen: no. no one told me that you chose to be a southern character. >> chloe: like georgia. to lou -- tootaloo. >> stephen: even in a cartoon hollywood gave a 60-year-old man a 30-year-old wife. >> chloe: you know. >> stephen: we have a clip right here. it's where we are meeting our new neighbor for the first time and you are very friendly and i am not. >> hi. i look over here in icu. i have one of my brilliant ideas. perry needs a fourth for tennis

tomorrow. >> honey, i don't know, he doesn't seem like much of a tennis guy. >> much of a tennis guy? i am too much of a tennis guy. i mr. tennis. my favorite of all the sports games with the racquet of the balls. so yellow and fuzzy. >> then we are all set, see you two at the club tomorrow. tootaloo. >> stephen: lovely to meet you. "despicable me 4" is in theaters july 3rd. chloe fineman, everybody. we'll be right back.

>> stephen: that's it for "the late show," everybody! tune in tomorrow when my guest will be seth meyers. now stick around for taylor tomlinson and her panelists paul f. tompkins, morgan murphy, and caroline rhea. that's it for "the late show." good night!