Skip to main content

tv   Absurd  NTV  November 14, 2023 2:35am-3:31am MSK

2:35 am
squirrel, so where should we go? at the next station you need to call nikodimovich, you can’t, then you’ll have to explain why berezen himself can’t call him, it turns out that we’ll hand over this devil, i agree, it’s not a good idea, murko, you’re my little murka, murka, you’re my little kitten, murka. morusya krimova, forgive me dearly, murka, you are my little murka, murka, you are my little kitten, murka, marusya klimova, forgive me dearly, the academy of russian television is holding the final events. all-russian television
2:36 am
competition tefi region volgograd ceremony awarding of the winners, details on the website teffi.ru, guys, can you tell me how to get through the library? well, you're fighting for me, that's really funny, jokes aside, what's right here? a balabol gets down to business, a well-deserved authority of law enforcement agencies, shoot, sane, shoot, rowing, i was stunned, what will i write to you later in the report, konstantin yushkevich, well, this is actually some kind of circus with horses, not vd, inspiration didn’t come, continuation favorite series, turn off the engine, then i’ll pick holes in your head, balabol, new season. coming soon to ntv,
2:37 am
anna nikolaevna, anna nikolaevna, anya, i have so much to tell you. igor, but first, tell me which of your employees are assigned to trizeka zones, i’m just responsible for their health, well, you understand, of course, i understand, you’re so responsible, well, where are they with us, well, go home, come on take a leap until you get trashed. i
2:38 am
will visit you in the very near future to see in what conditions they are kept, i will be very happy, the bastards have been removed. it's okay, i'll put it back on now, leave it, it’s useless, petrovich, don’t even think about it, that’s it, the limit is exhausted , i won’t take a single order anymore, and there’s no need, there’s something else, listen, there’s one little man in the city, german stamakh, a van driver, so i need yours people found him and brought him to me, well.
2:39 am
and why does he need to explain to you for a long time, most likely he’s on the run, i don’t remember such a thing happening here, so he’s not from yours, he’s from thieves, he either cheated someone, or killed him somewhere , soon there will be a train to the ground, we will block the station, it won’t miss, thank you, dear, well, i’m in debt. you’ve already gained so much in the last 24 hours, you won’t be able to pay it off in 5 years, come on, oh , life is murmuring, now we’re grabbing pies, now, pies for him, you’ve already eaten yours today, you ’re a criminal, you’re talking ugly, boss, misha, decent people
2:40 am
, the grabby is divided between... everyone, and you, take the microphone from him, kill yourself, urka, i’m not your misha, you understand, okay, not misha, as you say, well, something is somehow real, i think so too , everyone , everyone, oh, you humanists, humanists, and at least the satanists, you stung the prisoners, okay, to hell with you.
2:41 am
and where he somehow the door was closed, igor, you walked away from the car for a minute. everything is clear, there’s a jack to be shot, there’s a corner, show me why the hell you let him go, a tramp will always help a tramp. you see, not misha, i forbade you to call me misha, well, i’m telling you, misha, you saw that you’re still feeding them pies, that’s it, my patience has died, let’s go to petrovich, in short, petrovich,
2:42 am
we’ve changed our minds, take it from us for christ's sake this is a lesson, let someone else hold it back, so what am i going to do with them, you are the most reliable, you won't spill the beans, or you if you want the whole city to know about this, then we’ll all be kicked out of the police together, if you leave the guests, i ’ll run you out of the noise for 2 weeks, everyone, then let’s switch lessons, i’d take jack, and i’ll take the swindler. mish, well then you need a hacker, well, we’ve agreed, and also, we need to find german , the former zek, who stayed in the city, drove like a freeman, served the zone, okay, that’s it,
2:43 am
shabrogs, hang up, that is, why hang up, then? what will happen next tomorrow, night in the hut, katarzhani, night in the cabin for you, okay, two of you. head of the species, what happened?
2:44 am
buzakov, they’re talking, they’re talking, they want you, i understand, talk back, say it’s a swindler, the flight will come soon, okay, yesterday you promised that you would continue today, yes, but what about the artist, let him tell it, he’s also a bridge builder in this story, yes, it’s not a jack , we swam together, we’ll sink together, yes, okay, move the stone into the cave. where did i stop, and i think i was galvanizing yesterday, and that the cops scattered us in a new way , yes, so, this time i ended up with their driver, with ivan, fortunately for me, he didn’t live in house, in an apartment, and
2:45 am
there was no shed there, sweetie, let’s meet another colleague of mine, is he older than you? twice, he was a super-conscript, sergeant major, his name is, call me valentin, i will respond. well, like, yes, van, you tell me right away how many colleagues i had, they won’t all come to me, or only half of them, keep quiet, woman, i’ll drink, okay, i’ll go put the kettle on, this is my wife, so i’ll warn you right away, don’t even think about it, what are you, a boss in real life, i’m in law, for me... someone else’s woman, taboo, i’ll sleep where mine is
2:46 am
school? hello, what else is this statement? another criminal for foster care, misha, but yesterday’s one is not dangerous, he’s somehow frail, he didn’t swear. also, he’ll live in the barn for now, don’t cut off your fingers, let’s move, and the rations, should i sit hungry , nothing, the diet is healthy, and also, just one look at my daughter, and i with these hands, personally? i'll tear everything off you, but i - what, i 'm okay,
2:47 am
son, this is another colleague of mine from another city for exchanging experience. albert, anti-fraud specialist, you probably you know a lot of interesting stories, please share, igor just doesn’t like to talk about work, but i just have freshly brewed tea, pies, and... you go to bed, you ’re early as usual tomorrow, come in,
2:48 am
yes, hello, petrovich, mish , have you found hermann? now let's get started. and so we burst into the hut, and there was no one there, but the tea in the cup was still hot , so it didn’t go far, we darted around, looked under the bed, in the closet, even looked in the refrigerator, empty, three-headed, so where is it? he was hiding, on the back-sole on... they barely got it? it is you guessed it, albert?
2:49 am
no, he sneezed, it’s amazing, it’s just, you don’t feed me breakfast, you’re already an adult, you’re always late, albert is our guest, don’t rush anywhere, that’s it, yes, what a dangerous, exciting job you have, yes, i’ll get the job done , sit here quietly , don’t leave the house, don’t let the light on the balcony.
2:50 am
hello, i already warned you about my wife, slow down jack, can i tell you about my people, but without the market, it means i didn’t behave very well there, but what can you do, as they say, you can’t take the words out of the song. here is how it was! make friends! a lot of sweets is bad for you, no, no, no, it’s
2:51 am
a slicker, just what your body needs, what’s the matter? don’t you think that konstantin has gone crazy, he takes on a lot, a lot, it’s not enough, really , he had to break off the enemy for helping you, with horns, well done, but no, well, just a shore, he misled absolutely, i would prescribe binoculars for him, but somehow i can’t do it myself, alone, tell me honestly, alone, he will give you a hard time, these are your scores, what do we get from them? well done, laguden, well done, that we have nothing left to sit, lord, two or three weeks, yes, and then, i’m free, but now i’ll have to share what i’ve earned, come on, it’s not up to me to decide, yes, who gets a bare salary, and who gets a bonus, and for
2:52 am
overtime, and with empty ones, i think mother. where did you send that there i can love, kvostik, there is a conversation , speak up, egorov is making people sick of you, promise all sorts of highs if we beat you, what kind of serious highs are you, i’m not just interested, serious, only he intended. a sunburned theater and a tour of the far siberian zone, and this time it’s not the scumbag who’s lying, we don’t have our faith in him,
2:53 am
they won’t believe me if i tell him, i’m sorry, but the food has run out again, something needs to be done, i know you, and you know me, that’s for sure, we know each other, food, you know, keep quiet in this
2:54 am
place, i know everything, listen to the order. order number 005, the highest secrecy, within an hour to requisition cows, pigs and horses and surplus grain from the local population, but why horses? in the minsk area we get on horses and continuously advance on warsaw, tightening up the rear. bring all suspicious persons to me for questioning, connect me on hf with the supreme, magically, a full -length squirrel, i think it’s better to close it from the outside, then
2:55 am
who knows? thank you boy, please, there is no german, there’s only a hamster neighbor, mish, and i talked to a local here, he says he hasn’t seen german for 2 days, but his van was around the corner of the house, a german shortcake came in the morning, he doesn’t know his name , but i had seen it several times before, got into herman’s car and drove to a distant lake, we drove to a distant one. childhood i don’t understand why they call it distant, maybe closest to the city, igor, haven’t you heard
2:56 am
version about a dinosaur, there at the beginning of the 20th century they saw a living dinosaur, devouring a mammoth, well, the dinosaur is understandable, drunks don’t see that, well , the lake is far away, why igor, because the dinosaur was very big, where is the logic, you’re a young idiot, nothing you see, it’s all very simple, big... the dinosaur is always far away, so the lake cannot be close, it must be far away, that is, distant, yes, guys, you generally feel good, so go ahead, eat. stand, don't run, run out of the water, how's that? shut your mouth
2:57 am
shore, what are you using to kill the reptilian fish? for what purpose are you interested? information is paid, why are you so impolite? a? in front of you is a representative of the authorities, just don’t touch my head, i’m disabled, guys , oh my, this is a momentant who was eaten by a dinosaur, he was probably washed ashore in an explosion, the explosion is mine, that means my skull, you only have one skull, i’m his i'll break you now, who gave you the van? german, he took it himself, german and i... a day ago we agreed that we’d go fishing together, but he’s not here, so i went alone, he’s the key
2:58 am
he’s holding it behind his visor, just don’t try to steal me, everyone knows that in our city cars aren’t stolen because there’s nowhere to put them, exactly, there’s a railway bridge across the river, there’s no car bridge, yeah, that’s what you ’re telling me, there’s a sense where look for german, igor, let him go to the dog breeder, mish, wait, who will collect the fish, it’s impossible. discharged with bioresources. motherfucker, help, help, there’s a fire,
2:59 am
open it, help! oh, familiar face, what for this time, poaching, file it, and where is the prey, i killed a mammoth, the skull should be taken to the museum, no. there are these skulls like dirt, let's put him on our roof as a dog, why? and so that they would be afraid? and what is valid? here you go. as
3:00 am
they say, punishable. on the one hand, i caught the poacher, it’s mish, well done, on the other hand, the fish is material evidence, but how to store it? your proof will dry out, it will start to stink, yes , it’s a pity, there are 300 kilograms of this fish, but you can salt it, you’re crazy, but where to dry it? but we don’t use the attic in any way, so what? it's an idea, that's it. listen to the combat mission, find and deliver basins and buckets to the attic, you can old baths, and the tasks of the personnel, come on, let's live, what about your weight?
3:01 am
come on, dear citizens, don’t let the police pass without a queue, you understand, service, yes, of course, sunuki, you have a service, but for us it’s like that, pension, tonya, well, salt sales are 60 kilos, 60, why so much, state secret. salt the mammoth, yeah, there, take it, 1.200, come on, igor, no change, thank you, thank you, father, just a minute, masha
3:02 am
, listen, i know, the cops are buying up salt, which means they know that it will soon be in short supply, how from where they know, they are the power, they know everything, in short, drop everything, take your husband, go to the store, buy salt, i remember before the war it was exactly the same, how, well, first the salt disappeared, then? then matches, kerosine, and then everything else disappeared, so before the war, and now we have peace, 80 years , as the fool was, the fool remains, but world tension, and the nato bloc, they are sleeping and seeing how our ensk take over, and what this formie said is a state secret , i heard it on the radio, there’s an epidemic in the zone, they’ll declare a quarantine, they’ll cut off our city from the mainland,
3:03 am
then there won’t be... everything, i’m listening, little one, so, please, for me, five kilos of sugar, salt, flour, yes, more than a match, there is nothing, they bought everything, oops, heard, it started, oh, my god, take it off, take it off, today i posted it on our channel, yes it sensation, come on.
3:04 am
well, something like this, fire, they give comments, alik, i’m leaving until the evening, i want to visit a friend, you ’re resting, there’s food in the refrigerator, thank you, vera ivan, vera ivanovna, can i invite one of my colleagues here? we need to discuss something about the job, about sharing experience, of course, huh, is the phone on the shelf? well it seems that's it, rest, thank you, vera ivanovna, you are just an angel, hello, hello, my soul, i miss you so much, fortunately.
3:05 am
i found a wonderful place for our meeting, this is the second day without a medical examination, address, spring 9:59, it will even be funny, i’ll be there in half an hour, according to trusted sources, a group of enskaya police officers shot a mammoth, the carcass was secretly brought to. .. where they cut up poached meat on the third floor of the police department, possibly the last mammoth in russia, partially salted it, and partially consumed it as food, what nonsense, now the police officers who consumed the meat of the animal have an outbreak of a disease unknown to science. in this regard, the introduction of quarantine and self-isolation is expected. citizens, who have not yet had time, urgently buy salt, buckwheat and toilet paper. and now on
3:06 am
our channel. where are you going, that you can’t see, whether you’re completely blind, it’s difficult for you. there are your eyes and the world freezes, for a few seconds , thank you, it’s you, sorry about the barn, i really didn’t know that you can’t burn barns with a fire, but is it true that you’re on a computer? you understand, fry, with yarikom can help, well, he’s an idiot from a parallel class, you can send him viruses, go ahead, let’s see, otherwise he
3:07 am
trolls me all the time, like, my ass is too fat, look, it’s not fat, on the contrary, it’s a test, come on, now we let’s give him a computer, well, you’re fierce, or you can... hack the database and place him there as a terrorist, come on, i
3:08 am
got it, guys, you need to come see me, why, i called my mom, she said that alik, who invited me some work colleague, i mean, how is it work, right? think, somehow, strange, well, let's go to you, let's go, nevermind, colleague, anna nikolaevna, ah,
3:09 am
anechka, how can it be, i'm you, and you're with some prisoner, listen, igor, that's all, that's it , this is not at all what you think, you are not at all what you think, what does zack mean? if he's a zek, that means he's not a person, or what? alec, by the way, is much more decent than many, respectable ones, and as for masculine qualities, i’ll just keep silent, but now i’m killing this bastard with my own hands, forget it! and boys, stop it, boys, please stop it, boys,
3:10 am
come on, i’m talking to that as a person, and the court limited my bodily freedom, but not the freedom of my feelings, actually igor, i considered you a normal person, don’t you dare call me anymore, fifth, central, central, fifth at the reception, mish, you, urgently go to the department, petrovich is demanding you, evil,
3:11 am
maxim maksimovich, just keep them in the shade for a couple more days. it’s a breeze, don’t learn how to dry fish, i’ve been like this since corizini in the early nineties, have you forgotten? i didn't hear anything. mishanya, if anyone in your family has become a hacker? what nonsense? there are no such. i now he was talking to you not as the head of the ensky department of the fsb, but as your fourth cousin. an hour ago
3:12 am
, our server was hacked from your home computer ; a fake document was posted in the public domain, but why did they post it? first: organize training camps for department personnel at the dalnozerno recreation center. second: to attract five female persons with low social responsibility to provide special services. third, buy two boxes of vodka, two boxes of cognac, six boxes of champagne, so there are five of you in the department where there is so much booze, i’m telling you, it’s fake, misha, think about it, my wife read it, now she has not questions for me, but complaints, max, if you need to sit out, i’ll put you up for a couple of days, misha, you stop your hacker. in short, remove this crap from the public domain and make it look
3:13 am
like it’s a fake from the cia. and write to denisk that the mayor is ready to personally shoot himself if the lower spruce street is not paved this year, write, where is this, behind our fence, have you seen what kind of pits there are, hands, hands up, one movement, i’ll tell you i'll kill you now, damn it. mothers, dad, hakin, damn, have you decided to put us all under arrest, and i’ll kill you for treason, what kind of treason, just a joke, i’m going to joke with you now, misha, get away, misha, dad, you have 3 minutes, i..
3:14 am
. for castling, so am i, but since it was decided by a majority vote, i’m in favor, okay, let’s go after jack, i’m wondering, egorov, why you have a grudge against me, hmm, that you can’t just barf, but some kind of dirty tricks on me do you want to arrange who you are, what about me? is it really possible for a senior citizen to have a family? once, it’s not according to the concepts, two , i’m going to get into the gums with the administration. and who settled down with general khobotov, brother, what are you doing, i tried for you.
3:15 am
i tried for you, in general, without me, they would have been sitting there on the stove of their native theater, now you are all on the rise, in business, with grandmothers, so far we only have you, our share in this whole scam is where, only promises, but marina told me that you i wanted to buy a new car with the general’s fee, this is a gift for marisha, yeah, how would you register it in your name, as usual, are you also me? decided to sentence because women, where are you, where are your thieves ' ideas, egorov, what are we going to do with him, dear society, the crown is good, give it to your ears, and i said, society has sentenced it, maybe it’s not necessary, huh?
3:16 am
bon appetit, this is for you, chocolate, what’s going on here, this is some kind of horror , i’m a distinguished person, just like that, in my ears, in my ears, some kind of scum, unfinished sapryak, no... no call, come on, sir, is it good that you came to me, only since you are here as prisoners? this must be done appropriately, correctly, everything is correct, that’s right, please contact me according to the form, let me contact you boss, well, that’s a completely different matter, so what’s the problem, the problem is called konstantin, konstantin, he destroys the whole
3:17 am
production, if now he is not isolated from the team, then the speech will be in front of c. under threat, and i, comrade, artist, i’m okay, the authorities have ordered, for a long time, as they order, the evening bell, the evening bell, how many
3:18 am
thoughts. he starts up the washrooms of the day , in his native land, how beautifully they sing, soulfully, some kind of theater is coming, what kind of theater, prisoners are being transported, maybe even prisoners. well, definitely artists
3:19 am
there i listened to the bell for the last time, comrade colonel, the situation is not good, there is no food at all, stop talking in plain text, this is special communication, and regarding food, solve the problem on the spot, you served in the army, well, that’s a lot of ingenuity, scrape your reserves, put your efforts opportunities, that's it, communication is cut off, there's nothing to eat, you know, but what can i do, and khobotov has still flown to his moscow, what do you mean show your composure? do you know who this is? petrovich ordered to find someone on the run, so an ambush should be set up near his house, no, they say he doesn’t appear there,
3:20 am
well, he also thinks so, that we think so, and then one day he comes unexpectedly, well , take something, but what is there? it makes sense, there are six of us, we will block all the approaches, three posts can be set up, we’ll take it, it won’t go anywhere, you, jack, talk like a real cop, yes, no one has called me that yet, and why are you helping us at all, i don’t understand, consider that the boss's help, what kind of help, alec, dan, you are with us, you are the godfather, you know better. can yours sing golden-domed moscow and it’s not
3:21 am
supposed to, stop, stop, stop, it’s not supposed to be free, it’s fair, every work should be paid, colonel, we're in trouble, i didn't understand the order to fight corruption. in order to combat corruption, the system is ordered to carry out an exchange between employees in all
3:22 am
zones of the russian federation from the previous composition, leaving the head of the zone, the head of the supervisory unit, medical workers, the deadline is 12 hours, this means that ours are going to the krasnoyarsk territory, and the guards from there are going here , but how do we explain to the new security that the crime is real? well, if it's calm. then nothing bad happened, first of all newcomers don’t need to know anything, and we’ll pay the artists double fees for the money, they’re not capable of that, the main thing for us is to survive these devils from the european commission and unesco, oh my god, i’m supposed to manage a zone that is a cultural heritage, and what if suddenly something goes wrong, the artists themselves will say that they are not prisoners, just think about it, you are a security guard , a prisoner comes up to you and says, i am an artist, you
3:23 am
will believe it, well, well, let’s eat, from the belly, well, if that’s the case the belly himself says, it means we definitely ate, and now we’re training, well... rehearsal, but we divide by voices, i’m a coach, i didn’t understand, well, i mean , a conductor, you can do it, don’t worry , i’ve been a musician for 7 years, my parents wanted me to become a musician, but no luck, i became a lieutenant, so we got ready, well, let's get started, drink it up, black drinker. why are you hanging over my gala, so that you
3:24 am
don’t let the black crows, i’m not the only one. what kind of fitness is this? maniac, sexy, definitely, we'll take it, but where is this going? in the cabin, lock him up, slow
3:25 am
him down, quickly, calm down, calm down, girl, we saved your life from this maniac, what, what a maniac, this is bogdan, this is my cameraman, and i’m karina, a journalist from the media center, oh, and i think this is a very recognizable voice, well done, is this really your cameraman? of course it’s true, am i going to lie to you or what? why did you run? yes, as always, this is for a sensation, but you ask this restless one, so come on, this is a journalistic secret, so, gentlemen, police officers, i promise that i will not report anything to your superiors about what you, between by the way, two were illegally detained at once. representatives free press, and you will tell me your secrets for this, right?
3:26 am
girl, what kind of secrets can there be in the police, we are generally ordinary pepsi, we are high up to god, far from the authorities, yes, but what about the mass extinction of prisoners in the zone, and why should they die out? that's exactly why, we think. that rotten mammoth, they found a frozen mammoth somewhere, dug it up, became infected with an ancient virus, everyone died like a mouse, and then they found other, spare prisoners, so that no one would suspect anything, yes, but they gave this skull to you, so that you just they hung the roof on it, that’s all, but everything was wrong there, but how?
3:27 am
no one ate any mammoth, yeah, there was only a skull, poachers were killing fish in a distant lake, the skull was thrown ashore, the poachers were detained, yes, the fish was confiscated, yes, and the skull was adapted for design functions, yes, everything is in the machine, they are blatantly lying, about the explosion, no, about the explosion, maybe they’re not lying, remember, today something boomed outside the city , everything worked out for me, they deliberately dug a grave for the dead prisoners with an explosion, yeah, you and i are going to a distant lake tomorrow, we’ll be conducting a journalistic investigation there, food stuff,
3:28 am
if it’s garlic, why are you helping? life is boring, but here i am entertained, i don’t believe it, i think you have some kind of interest of your own, quietly, let’s take it, stand, ready? well, we rushed after this shadow, and it was from us, this way or not then , whether it was german or not, you’ll find out after lunch, that’s it, yes, we’ll decide, no one canceled it, i’ll tell you later, aidar, come on , give everyone
3:29 am
50 g, don’t slow down, boss , add more, but you still have more, come on, get up little, you’ll be big, thank you, your love is like a drop of the soul, and this feeling is stronger than life, and these sounds sound and
3:30 am
sound, your love is a drop of the soul, and for the sake of this love it is worth living, let it sound without words, shine like mine at night, oleg’s mother believes that tatyana is guilty, tries to convince her sons, tikhan convinces samson that todor... should not be punished. chigorin is detained near his house and drugs are found on him, but chigorin’s father, with one call to a high official , resolves the issue of his son’s release. simonovich tells oleg about his doubts about him brother oleg doesn't believe him. galina convinces tatyana that it is worth talking with lobov as a psychologist.

27 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on