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tv   Chudo tekhniki  NTV  May 13, 2024 11:00am-12:01pm MSK

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and disappeared, come on, grandpa, honey, maybe we can have a little of that? sewed, igor, but what about flowers,
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restaurant, romance, everything will be, we just fooled around at first, so far we’ve fooled around alone, baby. and i’m still watching you at your post, yes, yes, i’m here, that’s right, in general, from the entire department, thank you, well deserved, yes, so here’s your
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reward dog, thank you, this is now my friend, oh, well, here you go, here, but let's not interfere, thank you,
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well, the concert is over, of course, well, kufu, these skins. from pasta, not edible, chickens can only eat sausages, yes, hello, busy with something, yes, friday is my day to steal wild animals, what a friday, today is wednesday, well then until friday, completely free, and what happened, murder, the antique dealer boris fuchsis was killed, mother of japan, why are you so you’re nervous, this is someone you know, but no... i’m the wild animal over there,
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okay, come on, i’ll send you the address, go out, let’s eat some pasta. that’s it, well, everything is clear to a moron, the painting was stolen, gnezdilov, this is a black square, kazimir malevich. by the way, i could say no worse than this quasi-world of yours, raphael, michelangelo, danatela, funny, did you know that three artists were named after turtles, donatella is a sculptor, and you’re not
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joking, but you’re lying, what kind of joke are you, what are you kidding, here you go, it’s written, raphael, oh, how bad everything is. “yes, not very good, everything is turned upside down, dwarf, they were obviously looking for something, it means a robbery, why not a wood grouse, the killer killed the guy, took something as a souvenir, there are shell casings on the floor, a professional wouldn’t have left them, oh, lenka , these are all your erotic fantasies, you bite your tongue, why do you bite your tongue? there are no witnesses, no description of the killers, that's all, hanging wood grouse, there were two wood grouse, a fat one and a thin one, one taller, the other shorter, both in black, they arrived in a black car, such a frightening storyteller, i can’t,
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tell me what you figured out from the footprints on the stairwell , no, why in the store opposite the camera, there was just surveillance, so i was just getting ready to go there and... go after inspecting the apartment, what is it, what do you need, what does he want, you don’t need anything, he just says that you nonsense, you yourself are nonsense, i always tell the truth, i don’t understand at all, why the hell would you call an alcoholic with a dog to the scene of a crime? maksimov doesn’t drink, here’s lenka, and a non-drinking alcoholic is even worse, the apartment was ransacked very thoroughly, they were obviously looking for something here, he has fingerprints. no dust, that means something stood there, now we will never know what stood there, so we’ve already found an inventory, what an inventory, an inventory, he’s an antique dealer, he bought it there, sold it, sold it, bought it, we need to write it all down, we’ll find an inventory , we’ll immediately understand what’s missing, but there’s no
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inventory here, i personally checked everything here, no, i bought the last record from the artist terekhin. two copies for 300 dollars apiece 300 bucks means that not all artists get that much now, but those who were named after the ninja turtles received much more, and where even more than 300 bucks, not a damn thing, artists or something to go, so we today it doesn’t say that the ward you meet is lucky for 4 hours, i can still make it, what kind of bar is this, well, they hang out there. all the artists, writers, actors, well , of course, there are a lot of losers for this,
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next to me, and we are there, somehow you don’t look like... debtors, especially this one, of course, dog, go to the side, stand, be quiet, be quiet, move on, i’ll call the police now, otherwise it ’s your day today, here’s the police, but what could you say right away, you can’t, i missed it, it’s logical, i’m sorry, it somehow happened automatically , forward. hello, the security guard at the entrance didn’t say that we are here only for our own people, he said, but what,
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i won’t serve the dog, it’s not a dog, it’s a lie detector, a quiz, the first question, where? artist terekhin, i don’t know this, wrong answer, question two, where is the artist terekhin, not for a long time came in. wrong answer, question three, where is the artist terekhin, here, calm down , show me with your finger, artist terekhin, be careful, there is a dog, where is it, artist, artist.
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tell him to let him go, puss, you know the one who knew that you, wow, would come to me, and how did you know, we were all supposed to meet this evening, and he was killed, someone has been threatening you lately, he will eat my scarf, but speak quickly, until the scarf runs out, or they killed me with my head, he threatened fuchsis, i don’t know, yeah, okay, let's say, uh, you know these two, thank you, i know one, the second, i also know the second, these are mark and ruslan. who are they, swindlers and swindlers are also involved in antiques, why could they kill fuchsia, it’s unlikely that it was them, they
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never killed anyone, that bad business is not tricky, the main thing is to start, what kind of business they had, i don’t know, my business is small , drew a copy, got the money, you ask them, where should i ask them, they often come to this bar in the evenings, just please, i didn’t tell you anything, please, as much as you like, let’s go, mega megamarket, give joy, only on the birthday of the megamarket, oppo smartphones with cashback up to 40%. fabulous anchovy, what are you doing, and the senior opera is authorized by the ship, the senior opera, so i ’ll be older than the moltz, well, give me the key, tia. come on, tia, it’s your fault, nikita ponfilov is without a dog, well, let’s go
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let everyone in, don't let anyone out. yeah, what is it? you know them, i’m seeing them for the first time, my ear doesn’t hurt, maybe we can play a quiz, the photo is of poor quality, you should close your eyes, this is mark, this is ruslan, i’m telling you, i don’t know either mark or ruslan. hello, police, there are a couple, but you have to pay.
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oh, if you want blood, come over, so call me a shower, quietly, quietly, let him go, let him go, let him go, my joy, go to sleep! the lights in the house go out, the guys are already leaving, they want to pay. come on, come on, you have the right, we didn’t violate anything, and this is a funny joke, i’ll even remember it, what’s needed from us,
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now you’re in luck with this yellow bucket, but alive, who was it, who was it, and the damned concert , concert, hello, this is a museum, do you need copies of paintings, i have a lot of them, yeah, yeah? just a minute, i'm writing it down, please don't rush, as you said, abstinence, revival with oil, strange,
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of course, but i can do it with oil, just please clarify which one, which one, oligophrenic, no, my last name was a scam. yes, you yourself went, museum rudeness , wow, how are you out of your head, but now there is complete chaos in these museums, and i call, i propose to expand this, like its execution, exhibition, so i wanted to help them, but they gauguin me they called him darned, well, not boors, by the way, the pistols from which the fuchs were shot. and who killed them, well, i think, first they ordered it, and then
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they ordered them, that’s a pun, well , they don’t look like killers, well, why did they need to rob fuchsis’s apartment, i don’t know who’s smart, that’s what a damn concert is, let’s figure it out, lesh, okay, we need to give the gun of laziness for examination. oh, for her there was a package with a dedicatory inscription, either maksimova or leonidova, yes, yes, such a funny porno-dox, where is this package, ugh, ugh, here, what are you doing, you’re teething, or something, it’s really lazy maksimova, they gave you a letter addressed to your last name, lesh, well so many documents will be exchanged for an apartment, for
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a car, a diploma will be given my last name, a permit, maxim, that sounds even cooler, it’s good that i didn’t hear that, by the way, the gun was sent for examination, i think it was used to kill this ficus, he’s taking revenge read the envelope already. yes, i get it, they opened the fuchsis apartment, they didn’t leave fingerprints, the neighbors didn’t see or hear anything, there were cameras in the store, i uploaded the video to a flash drive, now i’ll show you,
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it’s fucking like a prison, i found it, look, the motorcycle looks similar, it’s still hard to find one like that to annoy you, probably the same killer, that’s how i hit him, there should be traces of a bullet on the motorcycle, which means that he will urgently go to the table.
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stay in the car, hello, who is in charge of your conversation, well, who asks, the police ask, this motorcycle is of interest and its owner accordingly, but this one is not, what is it, not looking? i haven’t seen it, yes, but you just keep quiet, you kicking dog, he says, you’re lying all the time, you know, i’m lying, you, yes, this is a crooked presentation, you wanted something better, but you’ll have to do it differently, you hear, handsome, i ’m yours now i'll wrap the tie around the cardan, what are you, dear, hey, tall! you were looking for the main thing,
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so i’m here, it was a matter for you, that means, uh, where, to the ground. yes, next time, lyoshenka, don’t say that we are with the police right away, but what do you think i should be, he’ll say that he’s a call girl. it’s illegal to beat people who are arrested, so
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make up your mind, we’re from the police and we’re not allowed to, or we can still be called upon, i saw him, i didn’t see him, i didn’t see him, i bet. well, what are you doing, what if it’s not a killer?
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from birth, emilia considered herself a twin sister, but at 14 she found out that she was adopted. dad told me, daughter, there is such a house, happiness, this is a maternity hospital, and we took you from there, but the biological mother abandoned her immediately after birth, there is a cradle, there is a girl in it , and the nurse comes, whose girl is it, she says, yes someone’s name... my biological mother elmanova anastasia left me, and naturally my mother changed it for me, they did it so that she gave birth to twins, will she find out why she was abandoned? my parents came from the maternity hospital and brought two baby dolls, we conducted an investigation and found a resident of kaliningrad, my mother’s name was nadezhda, whether the prospective biological family would agree to accept her after 39 years, her mother would
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but i have nothing against animals. this office contains antique and rare works of art. you know how rare and ancient her fleas are. you better tell me where from? your number turned out to be in the killer’s phone, so my phone was stolen, yeah, now i have a different number, so you can check, it was stolen a long time ago, and i don’t remember, but about a month ago, listen, tell him, let him get down from the couch, this the beginning of the last century, just the past, no, you’re not interested, get off, it’s too early, names, mark, nikulin and ruslan. limorovsky tell you something, this is the first time i’ve heard it, and the artist terekhin, you know this one, no, i don’t know, it’s interesting, the word concert, of course, this is
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a painting by john vermeer, here it is, the original, what are you talking about? the original was stolen from the boston museum in the nineties and it costs about 100 million, but i personally cannot afford that. and this is just a copy, yeah, and a bad one at that, where did you get such a bad copy, i bought more on the occasion of fuchsia, to be honest, i regret it, it’s understandable, okay, i don’t dare bother you anymore.
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yeah, hello, leave me alone, come on, listen, didn’t you write him out at all, a copy, paintings, a concert for fuchsia and orchestra? i won’t tell you anything, you bring misfortune, it’s true, two, you see, have already been killed, you’re the third, and i have to do with it, i say, you drew the picture, well , i, and from the original, that’s where the original is, i i don’t know, i wrote commissioned by fuchsis and not one, but two copies, i don’t know anything else, yes stop chewing my shoes, what else did they paint for fuchsia, i also painted a yellow landscape of the same size, what size? give the shoe, order him, let him give the shoe,
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he hasn’t listened to me lately, so what size - no, i’m talking about a painting, shoes are not needed, a yellow landscape is the same size as a concert, everything worked out, and the shoe of this department will work out, let’s go take toe prints, what a bandit, oh, i understand, all schizophrenics react to the color yellow, that’s right, you and the picture corresponding to the crime scene lent it, yes, specifically to annoy the dog, maybe he’ll finally go crazy and bite off his ear, like this van helsin, that’s right, or maksimov, that’s even better. arkhipov was there, arkhipov has a damned concerto hanging on his wall, jan
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warmeer, dude, didn’t understand, but this arkhipov, who also paints pictures, no, he sells them, somehow, incredibly , an original vermeer, a concerto, well , ended up in fuchsis’s apartment. with arkhip they decided to push her to some influential person. to a rich man, perhaps even abroad, arkhipov thought, why should he share some kind of fuchsia, he ordered mark and ruslan to bring him a painting, they brought him a painting that is now hanging on arkhipov’s wall, and without knowing it, as gnezdilov says, they handed him a copy, namely, oh, arkhipov thought that they wanted to ditch him, he didn’t forgive him, he killed ruslan and...
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well, you have to look for him, with pleasure, but he’s dead, yes, yes, they also killed him a long time ago, but the original, you see, remained. junk, no one will buy it for 300 bucks, they won’t sell it for 300, 100 million, yes lesh, approximately.
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well, have you come to your senses? that's it, that's enough, that's enough, i'm fine, i'm just a little rounded, so this is the real genuine vermeer, it looks like, yes, this is a conspiracy, this is a conspiracy, i'm telling you, this is a conspiracy of the monsoons, only jewish surname, so you have millions at once, but as a normal surname, so why the hell are you fucking rotten, right? not sdilov, not that there is some kind of leonidov and maksimov, and decided to lose the task again, yes, why don’t you like leonidov, but you don’t like anything, and not only it’s clear to me, in my opinion, to someone else, right?
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is the man from the police, and rightly so, offering him to buy a stolen painting? the main thing is to find this person who will competently offer him. it is important that the parkhip believed. yes, the deal is cancelled? no, no, no, wait, the painting couldn’t leave the city, i
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saw it, now there are cops hanging around, for that kind of money you can... look for it, you just need to find the original, find it, foxy hid it, but it will definitely come up, it will come up soon, then you’ll call, you’re losing your qualifications, the work is stressful, where is this terekhin? he is there, yeah, meet me, this is alexey, last name leonidov, and this is the parodist artist terekhin,
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he will draw you any picture, literally for 300 bucks, well, what do you need from me this time, the second shoe, then i just... had a subzik on the iron, so you can breathe out. why did you need me? we need to catch arkhipov with live bait, then literally contact him, pass off the second fake as the original, that’s all. i am ready to draw at least 10 more copies, but i will not participate in the exchange of the painting. no, why? i don't want to end up in the same place where are fukses, mark and ruslan.
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i see you for the first time in my life, few people know me by sight, well, it happened, ficus. i often ordered copies from me, my works, like originals, hang in the lovra, in third-pieces, which, for example, i can’t remember everything at once, well, there, for example, the smile of an anaconda, the sniper came out, you can frame it, the girl is rummaging around, again , the girl on the picasso ball, well, yes, everyone thinks that the romanian painted it, fuck me, it still hangs in the louvre, making
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louvre residents happy, just like in the louvre? the picture hangs in the pushkin museum, which means it’s already been hung, the concert is with you, of course, only first, grandma. now show me the picture, now is the moment, what is this? this is a red quadrant, a self-portrait!
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starting price is 65 bucks, yes, i’ll shoot him, and he’ll ruin the whole operation for us, what 65 bucks, okay, what’s 60 for you, god, what nonsense, where’s the concert, why aren’t you nervous, don’t be so nervous. oh, well, so be it, 45 bucks, and this is my last word, i, unfortunately, have absolutely no time, i don’t need your self-portrait, witnesses too, it’s you, you know how to bargain, 40 bucks or there won’t be a deal, you’re a fabulous idiot, i killed three people to
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get this picture, now i i'll wave. which sniper? 30 bucks and ran away, i’m giving it away at cost, cheaper, it’s humiliating for the artist, it hurt the sniper’s head, now i’m for him, so my hands up the hill without sudden movements, the painting, vividly, 30 bucks? kill him, cover me, open the picture, you idiot, they'll shoot you, ahuhu, no, they don’t throw masterpieces around, oh no!
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bitch, traitor, gangster face, yes a copy, moron, come on, it’s another chase, or something, but no, that’s what i have to do with it. i don’t have time, so, arkhipov, don’t be stupid, go out, give up, what do you need, but money, i have a lot of it, that’s how you sit,
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come, share, that’s it, finish. patrolmen, okay, you think, cop, udashti, it’s you, what a beauty, to attack like that for fun, but i started in the nineties, it’s impossible without it. dry jupi, lively turbo, and also sold the raspberry one, one shirt left.
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stop, give me the painting. on the bastard, i will teach you, the bastard from the tube, get out of here, get away, you brute, a traitor, don’t destroy the office, go away, i told someone, well, i ran to the picture here, then we’ll all lay down here now, 30 bucks, don’t be greedy , oops.
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everything is good already, but i was daydreaming, you bitch anyway, hello from the nineties. let's get out of here,
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i'm out of ammo. and i ran out of bandits, the last time i saw him was where there was an explosion, 30 bucks, the last price. what are you going to eat the folder? give it back, give me daddy, give it to me, ugh! i understood why he
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the paintings were drawn to yellow, this is because of the ocher. this paint is, well, yes, paint, mineral, with a high iron content, but it lacks trace elements. and should i now feed him tubes of paint or just paintings? it was a hellish otzhak, it was just some kind of nightmare, and artists call it performances, and you have a pizdoltonik, these are black pants, sweaty, not yellow, ugh, ugh, ugh, there are no
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vitamins there, i made you a passport.

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