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tv   Zapasnii vikhod  NTV  May 16, 2024 10:15pm-11:36pm MSK

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mislovich was supposed to go with you, it was i who sent him to the prosecutor’s office, so it’s too early to draw conclusions.
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in order for the omelette to turn out tender, you and i need... to beat together three eggs
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with milk for a long, long time, we agreed, the room must be vacated, yeah, vacating is being done, come on, come on, get up, guys, why are you up, we work, we work, and the janitor is on salary, so i’ll stop by, so we eat the sick, optimize, clean up. a cleaning center for medical institutions will be organized under the health committee, we’re vacating the premises, they took your towel, come on, come on, come on, that’s it, leave.
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i don’t understand why you’re seething this early in the morning, i told you everything, i can’t, the decision of the top management, come to me, yes, have some tea, we are on the territory of the city hospital, hello, vixa, put away the phone, quickly, men, men, please , help, my husband was hurt, he injured his hand, cut off three fingers, baby, you got the entrances mixed up, this is not an emergency room, this is a morgue, don’t you understand, this is a morgue, and now i ’m heading to the car, where i’m in the back seat there is my injured husband, he is the potato ninja, oops, oops! let's breathe, baby,
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breathe, breathe, the normal version, yes kalyunya, they sat down like that, guys, kolya, brusley, that means, look, we need to quickly, quickly, quickly, gurney, yeah, gurney, gurney, gurney. tent, so get out of here, come on, calmly, let's turn over, i woke up, wait, wait, where are my fingers, here are your kryabalki, here it is... oh, where are we going to take him,
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nikolai ivanovich, he’s alive, the emergency room. you can see on my screen how my husband was helped, fearless medical workers, it seems they are orderlies from the morgue, but i’m in good hands, practically the first kulgay, in general, follow the broadcast, subscribe to the channel, repost, your psychedelia, smack-smack, hamlets are always with you. i am, in one person, a court medical expert and pathologist, as i understand it, klimov in general was some kind of random one-time action, i only have two orderlies, two hamlet dionisovich, where are all the other employees, where are the junior medical staff, but you promised me? unfortunately, from olda stepanovna time doesn't always work on our side.
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couldn't you express yourself more clearly? don't you see what's happening? optimization. i will soon be one doctor. in this hospital for a surgeon and for a urologist and for a gastroenterologist, we will soon use one umbrella both orally and rectally for the purpose of this optimization, and the main goal of optimization is to improve the quality of medical care provided to the population, you are the one who is wet now, maybe i can do something help from olda stepanovna, no? you are definitely not, ah-ah-ah, all the best to you and remember, i won’t dance to anyone ’s tune, isterim de isterim, ben her şeyi
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isterim, dünya benim zannedim, doymam durmam isterim, ata ata doldu. and we still have questions for you from the vile bobcat, so we are approaching the operating room, the holy of holies of any hospital, here the fate of the fingers of my beautiful potato ninja will now be decided, will he remain with his fingers, or will he have to change his nickname to the stumpy potato one, can't you come here? it’s impossible, i’m streaming, it’s impossible, it’s definitely impossible, it’s impossible to violate, well, it’s impossible, it’s impossible, but where is it? coffee, and coffee, i say, let's go for a drink, let's drink coffee, coffee, coffee. good afternoon,
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lieutenant smolin, investigator of the investigative department saikin, lieutenant, what did they say, there would be a lot of people, there were a lot, but the cossacks went to the monastery for service, and the french were pushed back and scattered by the police on duty, the identity was established, that’s right, benkendor, alexander kristoforovich.
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cossack colonel ilovaisky twelfth and evgeniy bogorne. frenchman. claims that he is a prince and heir to the emperor napoleon himself. well, what about the protocol for examining the corpse? were put up, maybe you can look at it yourself, and i ’ll write it down, i’m actually where the criminologist is, everything needs to be photographed here, so i thought he was going with you, i thought you were turning over the corpse, well, that’s generally the job of criminologists, oh well, you, come, just lift your shoulder and see if there is an exit hole from a bullet there or not? forward, but there is no bullet, which means the bullet is inside, good, who is good, well, not benkendor anymore, he’s
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screwed. don't you even want to look at me? yes, however, it doesn’t matter, on a day like this you won’t surprise me with anything today, but what? oh how, how is this by choice? like this? but what about this? but what about? well... for the team and nikolai ivanovich, well, because of
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this crook from the department, is he a crook or not, what difference does it make, they’re all there no no no that’s how things won’t work out for us isoldanovna, well, give me one day, don’t quit, well one day puch what does it matter it's just one day like this? just one day, that's it, you'll live to be my age, you'll understand what a day is, that's, that's a whole day, well, well, well, well, in kind, but one day, that's, that's your smile, just monna izlda, smile more often, that’s it, yes, everything will be chick-fuck, okay, that’s it, that’s it, we’re smiling, oh, good, ah, well, citizens, princes, generals, let’s sign the summons and wait for you
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tomorrow at the investigative department with passports, excuse me, but the body of our fallen comrade, the body of citizen myshkin, ak binkendor will be taken to mork for a forensic medical examination. we humbly ask your permission, so to speak, to escort the body of our fighting friend to the morgue. second, but they are definitely normal, there is permission to go outside, yes, that means a psychiatrist considered, well, yes, yes, well, to the morgue, then to the morgue, nikolai ivanovich, but how can we get rid of this lawless man? who has already made the whole hospital a nightmare, kolya, we need to remove him,
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kolya, you mean gunko, uh-huh, well, you’ll go for the wet one yourself or we’ll hire a killer, we can chip in the salary soon, from our salary we can only chip in for the kidler, kolya, well, you’re a former opera , the opera is not complicated, well, think about what’s there, how it can be solved somehow, huh? i rarely ask for anything, nikolai, especially from the cops, even former ones, well, what’s the point, what’s the point, you know, what are these stains, these are the tears of my isolde, so either he or isolda stepanovna, please fire me, we are busy, oh well, isolda stepanovna, first of all, no one will let me go, because she is the only specialist in this field, kolya, such...
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sit down here, hello brusliy, i’m on business, what are you fussing about, hello, boy, i brought the corpse of count binkendorff, alexander kristoforovich, and you’re growing up, yesterday you rammed some bag of historical bones, and today the whole bimkendorff, it came to him because of pushkin, yes saikin, to the cossacks lyuba, i have the honor, how do you
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like kolya, pavel pavlovich, at least you go out into the yard, close the door behind you, what kind of carnival is this, tsaykin, why did you bring these mummers here, but no, to escort a fallen comrade, gryazhenykh, this is alexander khristoforovich benkendor, this is your mentor. like dad and mom, the third mother of his e department of his imperial majesty's chancellery, this is a hero of the war of 812, and you're here in a circus with horses? you're breeding bikendor, you know, backendor, but i have something to do with it and actually it’s not begendor, he’s nothing, but myshkin, they even handed over all the horses to the stable, even this cossack ilovaisky, that ilovai, ilovaisky, this is not some ilovaisky, this is ilovaisky, vasily dmitrievich, ilovaisky the twelfth, this is the hero of the russian-french, russian-turkish and even
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russian-persian warrior, this. how do you know all this? bruce lee told me this. with your permission, let me go away for a while. where where? well, it’s necessary to solve tactical problems. and i, and you, here, come on, stay here, learn to be smart, fell, kill the mummers from the office space. listen, you say ilavaisky, here is the forest, here are the redoubts. and i say, if the cossacks had come from the rear, the frenchman would have fled, why are you making a hunchback, and moncher? there are 20 thousand of us, there are barely three of you and that’s all artillery, but i don’t care about your artillery, gentlemen, don’t fight, we are reenactors, not some kind of dreamers, let’s not get carried away, for example, general benkendor should be with his detachment , ended up the devil knows where, i
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’m very sorry, gentlemen, your honor. excellency, of course, let it be your excellency, so, your excellency, what are you doing here, we are waiting for news, yes, well then i ’m informing you, mr. myshkin has died, you know, still, let’s go without it, let’s give you your things now pack up and go out, leave the room, and on the street, do what you want, even until the morning, but on a bench. in progress, everything is clear, there are questions, there are no questions, please, gentlemen, what an unpleasant woman, colleagues, i hope, what kind of colleagues we are to you,
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that’s why you’re standing here, you’re harassing argentina, you you wait for ivanovich to come and the whole schedule for you.
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moles, he didn’t know that moles can be a sign of skin cancer, get a medical examination, free of charge. where is nikolai ivanovich, i need to cook myshkin, but i’ll prepare it myself, do everything, well, 5 minutes, give me 5 minutes, how do you know? how
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painful it is, the bastard, well, something like this, material for the eyes, in the end he received a letter from the governor, and i was sent to the traffic police, it’s good at least like this, well, wait, well, they still can’t be tied up, by the way, i reported to vanya, yes, he hid me here, if it weren’t for him, i would have been singing songs in the ranks in the red zone a long time ago, well, of course, and not in court drag, so intimidate, thank you, dear, what can i tell you, serve mikhalovich, i serve, excuse me, but don’t remember your name, nikolai ivanovich kedrov, thank you, why, i guess i just remembered, i told him a lot about you, here you go , and what is this, a protocol, a violation
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of traffic rules by a pedestrian. you crossed the road in the wrong place, article 1229, fine up to 500 rubles. come on, guys, well then, if only he takes refuge in the monastery itself, there are walls and cannons that will penetrate more than once, for mercy, that is, you are proposing to destroy an architectural monument xiv century, yes, but why are you worrying about him, and by the way, if you don’t know, evgeniy bogornet. that is, how would i fully ensure the safety of this monastery and keep it intact, gentlemen, your comrade seems to have died, you seem to be grieving, but we have many claimants to benkendor, it ’s not about benkendorf, it’s about myshkin, but what about myshkin, he has no relatives or friends, it’s just us, all his life he climbed with the money hunters in search of napoleon’s treasure, and to be honest, he wasn’t a good benkendor, at the same time
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they only took his uniform, and his uniform, of course. noble of no business, by the way, when can he be picked up, yes, there are some who, myshkin, uh-huh, benckendorff, his uniform, you think that they are grazing here, they are waiting for the uniform, yes, so, what do you mean, it turns out , you’re also waiting for the uniform, yes, because i’m his only close friend, which is why i’m making sure that his things don’t fall into greedy hands, what are you like? what kind of friend are you, i’m his best friend, by the way, he came in my car, just think, and after the fight they should have driven in mine, that’s enough, that’s enough, no need to lie, no need to lie, he and i agreed to go to two ladies’ birthdays, that’s all, by the way, he called me, then he said that you’re a bastard, that it’s okay, i ’ll punch you in the face now, risk your health, officers, gentlemen, yes, what are you, yes, what are you doing, he’s
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from falcon, he’s talking, for what?
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tea from me, act, saikin, yes, yes, gentlemen, officers, general. marshal of the occupation forces, we surrender our weapons, oh! what happened to you palovich, they did an autopsy on the round, in this form, where are the pants, this is
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the thing, what is this, this is an allergic reaction, cadaveric spots, what? on your tongue, large-leaf indian tea, scalded, you better look, there’s an olive on the table, an interesting olive, curious, round, why did it come out round, i mean a bullet, and not from elts stepanovna, but what about my mouse from was it an ancient gun that was shot? why didn’t anyone see the smoke, why didn’t anyone hear the shots? i don’t know, this is a question for your saikin, what is interesting about you, i have a penalty, and a lot of other interesting information, so there is something to talk about with the optimizer,
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quiet, it hurts. private bruce lee, get out of line, and you, come here, you're great, you're great, i'm like the one you saw on tv, a partisan like that, puff-pow-pow, small, dexterous, wow...
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that you're possessed , well, what do you care, i’m just interested, here in our yard you’ll also make a mess, and the fucking is beautiful, so i ask without dirty hints, then give it in general, when you communicate with me like that, you don’t express yourself like that abusively , but be careful, there is glass, but not any hints, i just want to understand where you... did you hide bruce's advance, but did bruce, and brusali doesn't work for us, but officially, it's clear, but if i wanted, i could cure him from here with a cork, and what are you, immortal, you have
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an extra kidney, your teeth are choking , tell your idiot godfather that if you come into our territory here again, we ’ll perform an autopsy on you right here... right here we’ll perform the way you’re talking to me, you’re useless with a trigger, i, i can ruin your life too , you will live at my station, guys, everyone, let's go to the bullets, you will fly out of me from here, we start, i'm superstar, today's topic is out of my element,
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ntv. spring has come, we rejoice in the sun and the ringing of kopeli. we are raffling off country houses, cars, laptops. spring streams and cash prizes await you. catch your bird of luck, because we are winning. every sunday at 8:20 on ntv. this is where the medical will take place. rehabilitation and recovery of your pet potato ninja. the room, of course, is not luxury, but it ’ll do. and here he is! hey! well, we did a good job, i think you'll like it. take the job! doctor, what is this? are you
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crazy? what are you doing? are you completely morons, or what? surprise! medical humor, well, everything is fine with his fingers, look, they decided that now they will be like new, dear subscribers, everything is fine, these are their jokes. i’m stealing, i’m not stealing, i’m stocking up, you can see for yourself that i’m like a chick, back and forth, back and forth, and they slander, they said that you’re a swindler, and they swore at you personally twice in front of strangers, i feel really bad now, i have it written down here from the report, do you want get acquainted, no need, and the janitor is with them, one
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gang, i would go with you, i have these things to do, you go on business, yeah, pavel pavlovich, oh! in my opinion, the front door slammed, but no, well , there was a draft in nature, and so, they both got up, quickly, some kind of voice, in my opinion, or it was whistling in my ears, but no, well, this is for varyug’s entrance to i saved money on repairs, we honest tramps with a runny nose should go, get up, i said, get up, i’ll go and check the entrances. door, check, yes, oh, and we have guests, where are they, now i’m calling the police, yes, call them, the biography is rich, yes, on the criminal side, it’s true, it’s mostly fraud, but
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the scale is impressive, starting with the production of illegal drugs in the basement and ending with a tender for the purchase of medicine. region, who are they, orderlies from the morgue, a former cop and urka with four convictions, oh, he also prepared about me in courses, yes, and what did you think, today you will tell me some kind of moss-covered operational report, and i will deal with fear, gathered your things, get out of here, there is a strong draft after all, gunko, we know that you are a thief, and most importantly, you you know, we won’t remain silent, and for god’s sake, we have a democratic, free country, say whatever you want, just from the other
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side of the fence, can you even write about me? on social networks, pavel, pavlych, what are you, well, well, you didn’t get to him, your little guy, he ’s out of style, so what are you going to do with him now? where is it me, and the doctor, the patient woke up, it’s too early, the anesthesiologist hasn’t come yet, so he
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won’t come, he’s been laid off, well then ... not an anesthetologist, then, on the recommendation of the ministry of health, two times in the temporal region, which is happening, and we will operate on you, my dear, to cut off everything unnecessary, where, colleague, let’s start, with the liver, with the kidneys, well, if with the liver, i’m afraid, it’s straight away, a madhouse, yes, yes, maybe, you are sveta. try to remove the kidney, i don’t even know, be brave, but oh well, don’t. i think that if i’m like last time, remember,
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it’s okay, there’s a second one, don’t, don’t, need, need, sick, need, relax, count to 100, i’m sure you basically don’t should feel something, well, how can you not feel it, mom, well, maybe i i think since there are two kidneys, i might try it with a saw, just for fun. the instrument is mom, doctor, but the saw is completely dull, like it’s dull, well, everything needs to be sharpened, well , all the teeth need to be sharpened, so it’s okay, we’ll go through the spine, yes, how much of that spine is there, of course. i've screwed myself up.
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what was it? i think your body ran away. marshal, he dropped your legion of honor order. otandai!
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eh, the pistol was taken away, but you didn’t hear anything, what do you mean from stepan? in general or just now ran down the corridor in operating clothes, and what do you think is normal? isolda stepanovna, i ’m cleaning up here, in principle i’m not very interested in men, you nikolach, i’m even more so, yeah, the devil knows what ’s going on in the hospital, i’m going to see hamlet denisoch.
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the french, the french in the city, what kind of french, they wanted to cut out my kidney, do something, what to do, i don’t know what, call the police, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, you need to calm down , let's go, horse. those are a good horse, let's go, you're in the hospital, everything will be fine, let's go, everything will be fine, let's take a step, step, step, step, now it will be the end, let's go, let's go, now we'll sit here, sit down, quietly, quietly, not here, here here, now i’ll quickly, come on, now i’m on to this, everything will be fine, let’s make sure everything is fine, well... zakutuzva,
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hey here along the corridor, put away the trunk, herbivore, oh, okay, it’s not it's real, it's a dummy, he has... some kind of strange butt, not a butt, but a bubble, and there is no knife bayonet, everything is in okay, one, two, no need to press, just three, you're an unfinished moron, think about it. now
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i was actually born for the second time, mommies, what was that, it was you, the knight of the sword and the duck, you just opened a wet one, by accident, at the same time he almost knocked me down, listen, this is an air gun, girardoni, italian, very effective weapon. centuries, if there was a strong pumping, it will pierce anything, what a moron, but look, excuse me, the bullet is round, look, the gun fires, absolutely silently,
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which is why you couldn’t hear, not the sound of a shot, there was no smoke when they killed myshkin, so what is this gun, an italian one, so the gun of this adopted son of napoleon, the main event of today, which shook up the entire internet community and overshadowed all the events taking place in the world. this is a streaming video of the popular blogger psychedelics from a hospital in our provincial town. this video collected in 5 hours of viewing. 16 million likes not only in our country, but on other continents, doctors and mortuary attendants accomplished the impossible, you can see on my screen, how my husband is being helped by fearless medical workers, and i am in good hands, only thanks to these heroic people, the husband of psychedelics, also a popular footblogger, the potato ninja, has found
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his fingers again, and now we can enjoy again. his broadcasts on experiments with seafood. isolya stefanova, happiness is like the sun. forgive me, please, i just got a call from the department to all the morgue workers and doctors.
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got off, he probably got a call from the department earlier, isolation, can i invite you to the site, hamlet dzyanisovich, calmly, just calmly, calmly, calmly, disappeared, as we fly on the road, like... what beautiful numbers, don’t say anything, register, triple the deposit, don’t miss central television, the first information show about the events and people of the week , there is a new government in russia, a new minister of defense in the new cabinet, what tasks has putin set for the head of the military department
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, why do new appointments scare the west so much? the curse of the kennedy clan, why america's most famous family is haunted by murder and tragedy, and could it be a mere coincidence that the bridge of the nephew of the us president killed by a shot in the head was eaten by a parasitic worm? nuclear weapons for the poor? is it really possible that lyme disease and other terrible deadly diseases that are carried by cells are actually weapons of mass destruction created in secret military laboratories, this will be... your central television on saturday at 19:00 on ntv. via superstar, premieres on sunday at 20:20 on ntv. the two components of fosfoglift help not only restore liver cells, but also fight the cause of their destruction, inflammation. phosphoglyph. now there are 96 capsules in an economical package. the state has abolished fees for transfers between
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hands, well, i have the right, well, i’m standing, son, good, brusley, yeah, bitten it, it hurts, well, oh, cool,
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point him out, come on, come on, let’s take him already, yes, i’m 7 years old i was looking for at least some trace of these napoleonic treasures, but if you only knew how much land i plowed, enough for some... shewardite redoubt in baredino, you know what i came to, that the main valuables were left where napoleon’s great army turned onto the old smolensk road, but i found nothing there except a french burial, there, as i understand it, soldiers who died from wounds were buried, and there i found... a small icon, this one, how
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do you store it, it’s a relic, it’s from the 9th century, it’s bulgarian, let’s get to the point, come on, i won’t tell you anything, barbarians, what are you listening to? tell us everything, i understand, yes, i understand, yes, i’m there for you now, speak, speak! i'll tell you i’ll tell you, tell me, well, to show off, i foolishly took it out and showed it to this pinkendor, and he dangled it from me, and what could i do, he wanted to show it to everyone after this fight, as if to stake out a claim on the property, well, i’m insulting him . only he didn’t have time
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to pick up the icon, and lavaisky, this twelfth, galloped up with his kazhaks, well done, a sincere confession, as they say, mitigates the guilt, it’s true, but it increases the sentence, it’s a joke, this will count for you, it will count for you, and you’re good, saki, well, you he's just handsome, but you can't tell by his looks. today is such a day full of events, really, my head is spinning, optimization somehow abruptly stopped, this guy has gone crazy, yes.
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pavel pavlych, i hope that in the wake of your popularity you will not retrain from a blogger’s orderly, where am i, i’m as ancient as mammon, see you tomorrow, see you tomorrow,
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why do you need to stuff a duck with kumquat? explain to me, prunes, you know, prunes, small as cream, good morning, plum, but you’re in trouble, and what are you boiling in the morning, yes, he says, the duck should be stuffed with kumquat, and i say prunes, yes to me kolya is generally somehow violet, that you will stick it into her through the anus, i somehow said that he was so evil, he took it, he offended a person, i’m angry, kolya, because i’m not a jerk in the morning, you can at least one morning i can do without this commotion, just so that i can come, throw some noodles into myself,
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sit here on a bench for an hour, and so that life starts to sparkle with bright colors, for once, the hospital is here, this is not a disco, now i’m calling i’m not scaring the police, decree 6364, police cell, thousands of rubles, accordingly, this is a hospital, be quiet, do it, do it be quiet, fathers, fathers, no offense, no offense,
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you are fathers, i, i am a father, it’s my holiday son, son, 4.5 kg 56 cm, hero, whoever, i wonder
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what he has there, keep him, i’m cutting , sershi, damn it, she has rubber in her throat, well, well, come on , bend over, they’re normal in general, but he’s already turning blue, maybe he’s in harm’s way, like the khan’s campaign is in harm’s way.
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take your comrades, come on, okay, well, i respect it, thank you, he says check it out, go through the registration triple the deposit, we are starting viperstar, the topic of today, your plate of such a transformation of those artists of course i didn't expect it.
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our passions are always running high, the premiere is on sunday at 20:20 on ntv. stars. the final is on saturday at 21:20 on ntv. catching a pie bird is not easy. ru the cycle calendar is useless,
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it gets so bad that it gets dark in the eyes, these symptoms can be caused by adhesions, that is , fibrosum, langidase helps to break down fibrosis, reducing pain in the lower abdomen, langidase against adhesions and inflammation, the czech city of žatec is famous for its good rest on truzhek square . enjoy the žatec goose non-alcoholic beer, register codes and collect your collection of mugs to have a good rest, zhachetsky goose is non-alcoholic, collect good mugs, who said that only cats can purr, your car can also purr with pleasure when it has motor oil inside, boil diamond, advanced motor oil synthesis technology ensures long , durable...
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vetofer helps maintain normal iron levels, vitofer is easily absorbed, reinforced with vitamins and folic acid, vitofer, everything will come true, but i myself didn’t think that i would become a driver, i haven’t had time to look back third year, the schedule is free, there are orders for the money, it turns out that if i hadn’t tried it then, i wouldn’t have realized that it was mine, just like that, dad, be a taxi driver, it starts with yandex pro, choose your favorite brands on ... shampoos with natural ingredients, nourishing masks, fragrant shower gels and much more. a large selection
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of new and time-tested hair care products with discounts at wildberres. nail fungus can deprive you of many joys, so you need to fight it with the triple strength of pungaderil. penetrating deeply into the structure of the nail, it has an antifungal, anti-inflammatory, antibacterial effect, returning joy to life. triple force of fongaril, this is the security service, name the code from the sms, let's do this, if you manage to trick me, i will return the stolen money to the client, order a sim card f mobile protect your bank accounts from telephone scammers, he is the only one, nikolai ivanovich, i i think they ’re pushing it right into the living room.
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that's right, damn, that's right, natalya andreevna, all liked it? yes of course thank you. what do you call, if anything, and tell your friends, well, how good it is here, good, such work, and i have my phone number, yeah, so all the best, goodbye, happy, hello, oh, hello, mikolay ivanovich, what obliged, yes, here, grigory gavrilovich, the bucket needs to be replaced, so
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what do you need this for? i didn’t like it, there’s a crack there, water is leaking out, there’s a crack, well, just seal everything up a little, it’s almost like new, it was here before i got the job, and i mean the same.
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i’ll punish you like this in the legal field, it won’t seem too bad, so put the bucket in its place, thank you for the bucket, i said put the bucket back in its place, this is arbitrariness, be careful, well... you’re as good as new, go seal everything up a little, tomorrow , come out, look how beautiful you are, look, everyone will become brighter, a smile in the sky will make you happy, share everything.
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i bow to my friend, she will return to you more than once, hello, me, hello, i have money, please pay, please, or you can smile, your smile is unique. pay smile safe comfortable with sberrey, cool things, thank you, no, well, this is yours, well , sorry for pulling, but i wanted the best, you didn’t come to the holiday anyway, so i packed some home for you, vera, well, this i don’t need this, this is what i need, i know you, you’ll be screaming again, hold on,

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