boris borisenko, purchase. i would say the highest international class. klara karlovna, clownness, or rather, she is also an artist of the big moscow circus on vernadsky avenue, alexander ananiev. klara karlovna is always unpredictable in her short, abstract clown shows. right now.

as i understand it, your enterprise is a commercial one, i understand you, okay, please, why?

another wallet, there’s nothing else there. yes, of course, of course, you can’t do without a flag, or a banner, yes, thank you, thank you very much, i’m off to earn money. continue to twist and sin the main premiere of the year, the empress will still be in grief, it will be difficult for russia, the grief

of the empress will be a joy for her enemies. this is the best moment for justice to prevail. to the rightful emperor, rightful throne. it won’t be long, mother won’t be around, i already know the letter is not lost , it’s safely hidden, this is your chance, but one day her tears will dry up, everyone involved in this matter must be punished, look what you ’re thinking, check me, i came to inform you that in the near future you are subject to arrest. madushka not only did not withdraw from business, but took up repression, now i and all of us are in great danger. ekaterina, favorites. not to be, memory. on monday on rtr today in the studio hello andrey, only wedding songs are playing, a ring, a complicated piece of jewelry, how long

have i been looking for you. how long have you been waiting for me , it seems to me that i haven’t danced so much for a long time, such an atmosphere, hello andrey, andrey malakhov’s evening show, today on rtr, love is when you look in one direction. look, look, look, if you want to look, look, let's look, look, well, look at the screen, look at me, take it out, don’t look, look, agreement, sign, we sign at the same time, for one, two, three, sign, look, look, maybe we’ll go to me, just

watch a movie, you’re watching 100 to one, what’s our task all the board open? we can handle it, if you ask, then with a podbukh, the name of which character from pushkin’s works, everyone knows how much it will be 7.8 , how much it will be, and who is at work, speaks a lot and loudly, if you answer, then with humor, i’m chopping oak, i don’t pinching, water problems with i don't know what else, geometry, algebra, physics, chemistry - a set for headaches, god forbid now beep, if you win, then hurray, 100 to one, tomorrow on rtr, humor and medicine.

the person was asked why you became a doctor, he answered, i didn’t have much of a choice , i graduated from medical school, a note on the door of the local therapist, there will be no appointments from march 16 to march 20, all the symptoms, diseases, methods of treating them are on the internet, use it, just like that, our leader is a terrible rude man, you should have heard him at the end... of the morning report, send a gynecologist, urologist and practical specialist to their places of work, oh, here’s another option, colleague, what field of medicine are you an expert in? i’m a practitioner, i’m a gynecologist, and the neighbors, that means doctors always

recommend to their patients what they are recommended to recommend, a man comes to the doctor, there’s a carrot in his mouth, a banana in his ear, a cucumber sticks out from behind, the doctor says to him: “hey, my friend, you’re not eating right”? dialogue in a doctor’s office with a lady , undress to the waist from above or below, from above from below, let’s argue objectively, here ’s a specialist, what should we do, elena ivanovna, yes, invite me to see you, please, this abnormal intern, i want to talk to him very seriously.

they called, yes, i’m waiting for you, young man, you’ve only been in our hospital for a few hours, and you’ve already done such a thing, why, well, tell me, why did you take the basin away from our nanny and start taking pictures of it, you yourself asked to take a picture of the little one pelvis, i did it, i asked for an x-ray, so the basin should be x-rayed, or what? are you a complete idiot, or what? what did you do in the second ward? what, a wife came to see a sick old man, well, a 70-year-old woman, well, why? did you kick her out? well, the patient complained that he was tormented by an old hernia, i thought he was talking about it. what about the patient from the third ward? what? there was

a suspicion that he had discirculatory encephalotopia, autoimmune paroxysmal tachycandria, who is here? and are you talking to me? with whom else? no, no, there, there is a serious matter, you need to call an ambulance, we are the ambulance, we are in the hospital, are you the future? did you even take an oath? this is the slander of hippocrates, the idiot, no, he didn’t give it, it’s clear how you wear a white robe, you you know, with difficulty ours is not my size at all, i asked you in the fourth ward to put a candle for the patient, is this for health or for what not... where should i insert the candle? i know, a candlestick, so the patient

has been complaining for the second hour that he has a candlestick, you have completely confused me, put a candle for the patient, he needs to set it on fire, are you kidding me? no, what did you do in the fifth ward? what? a woman has a sore throat, so, i asked you to caress, so, i caressed, i’m generally an affectionate guy, i asked you to caress my throat, and you in this dream, and in this one, the woman has been complaining for the second hour that her throat hurts , asking to gargle, you know, i can’t do it for 5 hours straight, i’m not made of iron, what did you

do in the sixth ward, what? when the patient asked how long he had left to live, well, why did you immediately start cooing, well, i wanted to cheer him up, cooing to a thousand, and you , by the way, kicked me out of the ward after the third coo, i wouldn’t have kicked you out completely kuku, or what? why did you start a fight in the psychiatric ward? well, well, well, what is there, there was such a story, you know, there, that means, three napoleons beat one kutuzov, i decided to restore historical justice, historical justice, but what did you do in the maternity ward? what, they brought a woman in labor, well, i asked you to help, well, you went into the room with the phone and said

, okay, google, how to give birth, and what and that she gave birth to triplets in 5 minutes, although she was pregnant with one, so that’s it ok, he will receive maternity capital, but what did you arrange in the seventh ward, what did you arrange? there ’s an old lady there who doesn’t see well, well, she decided to read the newspaper and asked you to take her to the light, well, as usual, not all the lights turn on. one near the bedside table, the second in the corridor, i asked, are you going to the next world or this? well, okay, but when she asked you to sing a lullaby for the night, what did you sing to her, left her without you, earth, and more cheerfully,

they couldn’t sing anything? i can, goodbye, nothing. enough, the old lady ran away from the hospital in what she was wearing, well, that’s good, she was paralyzed, at 3:00 they brought in a patient with an injury, so, i asked to give him a painkiller, i blew on the wound, and that’s it, no, no that's it, he also said, the cat hurts, the dog hurts, but matvey petrovich , born fifty-two years old, doesn’t hurt, did it help? then i decided to give him a real painkiller, poured him a glass of alcohol, the patient immediately calmed

down, asked him to anesthetize him three more times, you’re crazy, the patient is lying in the ward drunk, screaming songs all day, that ’s good, he doesn’t even remember, that he had an injury, well, these are all seeds, but what did you do in the morgue? i have nothing to do with this , well, they brought my grandmother, heaven be the kingdom, but as usual we don’t have room in the morgue, we can’t put her on the floor, i sat her in a chair, as you asked, the autopsy order was handed to her, that’s all. couldn't you come up with anything smarter? and what? the cleaning lady came, she saw the grandmother sitting in a chair, she told her, raise your feet , she was silent, she saw that she had a piece of paper in her hands, she read it, realized that the grandmother had fainted, what

’s wrong with that, the orderlies came, there was a cleaning lady on the floor lies there, a piece of paper in his hands, an order for an autopsy, they put the cleaning woman on a gurney and took him to the morgue, so what’s so bad about that? i came to the pathologist, i just wanted to start, the cleaning lady woke up, opened her eyes and as soon as she died, raise your legs, so what’s going on here? it’s terrible, we no longer have a pathologist, an anatomist, the psychiatric hospital was taken away, so dear friend , you are unfit for the profession, you shouldn’t be allowed near the hospital, who only taught you medicine,

no one, did you order pizza this morning? 500 rubles from you. and there was no point in dragging me around this whole hospital, but i thought you were an intern from a medical school, why didn’t you tell me before? and i liked it there, there’s such a movement here, by the way, i saved so many patients, in short, you’re charging 500 rubles for a pizza, wait, where’s the pizza? well, you know, i... by the way i worked all day, i ate it, i ate it, yes, come here, you idiot, quietly , you exhausted my soul today, i spent the whole day because of you, today i ate you, quietly, quietly, oh, i’m not even comfortable

naming the object, which we will talk about, so i will use hints and punishments, this is an object that allows you to relax, a rubber object, simple, lubricated with cream, easily gives in to our hands and performs the desired function, let's call it a rubber assistant. the method of influence of this assistant is jet, preferably warm, not hot. not cold, warm welcome given to this the subject evokes a very positive reaction from people, i think that everyone is well aware of this important matter, and will have to agree with me, but where are you going to go, even say that you didn’t do it? so, a unique case, gentlemen, an extraordinary event once

happened on our stage, a magical artist turned a rubber assistant into a musical instrument, can you imagine, our rubber assistant gave up his profession and became a musician, and the audience shouted: “bravo, bravo, well done,” into the air , caps. hokirini.

kejkovskij.

i will start a new life tomorrow, i can be useful to you, today, even now we are preoccupied with searching for housing and work, i said that you need an assistant, i’m ready to try, your name is irin, you are my wife, she has lost

her memory, who am i, but she is not ready to lose her love, we were traveling together, oh, another person cannot have a shadow, it has always been only mine. i need real me and i need real love. i ask you, please help me remember myself. from scratch the premiere, today on rtr. many of you check your email first thing when you wake up, and i'm certainly no exception. as a federation, give an oscar to this goddess, the champagne i opened didn’t go to waste, do you want to get

a sea of ​​positive emotions? tours to abkhazia, i had a week of rest in a skirt that i could barely fit into, you are at the right place, here they will cheer up everyone, kesha wants to read, please read, kesha can’t read, and a man has to earn money, yesterday i earned such people from my wife, so you all i was on the air of the morning mail... nikolai baskov. most positive: morning mail with nikolai baskov until sunday on rtr. it is for you? well, did you get enough sleep? gentlemen, just a moment. today is a big day, a big holiday.

dashing, we haven’t seen each other for a long time, heavy, vila, well, you know, for every cool fighter there’s an even cooler one, you fell in love with them, yes, who’s good for you, your wife or your boys, don’t ask stupid questions now, they’re loved until until now, you are responsible for your words, i am always responsible for my words, heroes of my time, beauty. rapping, the whole crew, only on the platform look, russia is a country of great achievements, right now we are making a discovery in science, our children are opening the doors of modern classrooms, we are creating new...

cultural spaces, and of course, we are opening new routes and points of attraction, discover the achievements of our you countries, come to the exhibition forum russia, mega-exclusive impostor or illegitimate son, a native of the krasnoyarsk territory, albert stefan declared himself the son of a national artist, in search of family connections, malakhov on monday on rtr. is our the partnership with mikhalo nikolaev developed over many years in his youth. my

repertoire included a huge number of monologues, filletons, stories, sketches written by zadornov. then, misha saw my notebook, where i wrote down everything funny on my way, my notes were a great success, and mikhail nikolaevich picked up this form from me, having learned certain rules, it is important in this collection to choose the right witty quotes, and this... a lot of selection work, you need to rely on your natural sense of humor, i have my own collection, it’s called zadororing, and i travel around the country, i see all sorts of such nonsense, my head is turned incorrectly, i warn you right away, as a child, when i was at school, you know, i took students to look at the door of the director’s office, which

the director left a note, went to the cemetery, i won’t come back, since i was a child, or in our gym where we had physical education, there was an inscription: you can’t climb a rope without a mat, which means, so to speak, i’m saving up things, i i don’t know, probably evgeniy vaganovich, maybe i i’ll start, yes, i often see the names of new companies, offices or stores, and i want to ask why you call it that, for example , a furniture store is a soft place in moscow, a children’s construction set is a cool showdown, a grocery store, tell me what should be there be sold if the grocery store is called eros? eros, my imagination has run wild, look, here is vodka released for pushkin’s anniversary, such a woman sets

the table, brilliantly written, arina radionovna recommends, the travel agency that opened in moscow, too, so to speak, you can’t help but wonder, how is this? the name of the tourist office, ivan susanin, or it ’s all just one way, i finished my chapter and pass the floor, then we will change the baltic relay race. the fact that, what mikhail nikolaevich spies on is called zadorenki, he spies mainly on our nonsense, and i called everything that i find petro-laughs, of course, this is everything that they come up with basically, everything that our wits come up with, in there are a lot of witty people, so i observe our folklore, it has become

laconic, ironic, this is very nice, some jokes and sayings have appeared , which did not exist in soviet times, by the way, like all people are brothers... all women are sisters, here is a saying, it’s good after a bath, especially the first month, they come up with amazing ideas, even alcoholics joke about themselves ironically, that’s what’s nice, send the fool for a bottle, he’ll bring one , pseudo-wise sayings coming from the goat, a bird in the hands is better than a duck under the bed, and the aphorisms that have appeared, any laroche foucault will envy those who are looking for where are the legs from?

grow up, most often it turns out there, this is amazing, it seemed like we were done for, it turned out that it didn’t seem like it, naturally, advertising plays out, it imposes... on the ears, so it plays out, is there a last row for kissing, what happens in projectionist booth? or the inscription on a tombstone, not all yogurts are equally healthy, the us congress received a statement from a teddy bear with which bill clinton slept as a child. we did not receive the letter in which you ask for money, good for you, mikhail nikolaevich, the advertisements i saw what worries me is, firstly, impotence is a 100% guarantee, i don’t

understand everything with this 100%, especially we guarantee 100 % weight loss, i like this, tell me, is it to the bones or along with the bones? in front of the casino on arbat, win a million plus 5 years in st. petersburg, this is high literature , follow every word, we will cure alcoholism forever, discounts for regular customers, our product will make your hair grow right before your eyes. i pass the floor, and i will draw your attention to announcements, all kinds of announcements, inventing,

a highly qualified surgeon will help a poor dancer. in the cemetery you are only allowed to pick flowers from your own graves, take care, save your strength, we haven’t told you something funny yet, in the zoo you shouldn’t scare half-concrete ostriches, here, by the way, the same thing is mine too, but the phrase is a problem for you, because it’s obvious stupidity,

i didn’t want to say this, well, really, mikhail nikolaevich is spying on nonsense, i already said , it’s funny, by the way, in our laughter panpa these excerpts are often included as oddities, in the oddities section, so that means, misha, write it down, it’s in menacing newspaper article: the police are not doing enough prostitution. please, we are approaching the funny, this is already, this is already close, but not funny yet, i saw this in perm above the entrance to the monastery, the famous perm, above the entrance to the monastery, a sign, if you are tired of worldly life, enter these doors , someone from above attributed lipstick, and if you’re not tired, call this phone number , in general, evgeyvanovich, what kind of life in the country is visible here... it would seem stupid to them, but everything is visible, well, at the

sosnovaya polyana railway station, peter, only to our man with his crazy energy, this should be prohibited, trading on the tracks is strictly prohibited, well, who else would think of putting goods on the tracks, then the train comes, remove the goods, the train passes, put the goods back. well, research protocols, intelligent researchers give me protocols to read, in which the illiterate accused and , even more so, the illiterate researchers record them, well, for example, there i beat her with my fists, there, for example, and also such a picture of russia, life in russia, march 8, here now you can use your imagination, on march 8 he hit her on the head with a shovel, wait, that ’s not all, on march 9 she didn’t like it.

and i was wounded three times, two of them fatally, as you like, and she gave me four blows between the legs and knocked out three teeth, and i raped her in a state of self-defense, and in the mouth of a corpse, now let’s turn off the imagination, that’s it heavy artillery, i'm starting to tell a funny story, turn it off, god forbid it's night, there's air in my mouth... dial now, dial, dial, in the mouth of a corpse, quiet, quiet, in the mouth of a corpse, quietly, quietly, in the mouth of a corpse, between the teeth, quietly, quietly, in the mouth of a corpse, between the teeth there was a large crotch, listen, where do you get the strength from, you can say, in my opinion, they need some hooliganism. snippets from our conversations,

yesterday i turned my mercedes so sharply that i saw my back license plate, sick, wake up, it’s time to take sleeping pills. what is the american name? here we have chocolate, mouth front, it’s immediately clear what to eat, and they have popcorn, so everyone says, the film is for fools, for fools, but i liked it. the new russian comes

message on pager: dad, urgently bring polar bears to australia, otherwise i’ll fall asleep on geography, a girl calls on the radio and says: yesterday i found a wallet, there were 5,000 dollars, 618 stamps and a business card addressed to garik marikyan, shvernik avenue 19. give it to him please, some good song. the next section is dialogue, but i love all kinds of dialogue. dyanka, what do you have with your pies? are you a pirozhit, you can’t read russian, it says pie without a nobody. honey, i want a pager with a vibrator. okay, honey, what's up? what should be built in?

well, this is such minor hooliganism, a wife beats her husband with a rolling pin, you will drink, you will drink, the husband , enduring the beating, pour, pour, this is an advertisement, just at the entrance to the pool in sochi, valuables at the entrance to the pool, put valuables in the cloakroom, in the wardrobe, for the safety of valuables. you don’t even have to finish, two words of the announcement, two words, i felt it was funny, but i didn’t immediately understand why, announcement, we are setting up banquets. either the lads wrote, or the cops, the devil knows. sign in vladivostok, only ours they understand, it’s on the sign, an instant photo in tire, in the canteens they are now shortening it, it says, the menu, there’s zharkurgor, it’s fried

chicken with green peas, so i happened to eat it in the canteen in yamburg, sorry, the name in the menu was abbreviated as azu dish, azu. and from the gov, i understand, it’s funny to you, it’s funny to you, yes, how do you like the bests, and the caucasian has two price tags on the market, the caucasian has gov sausages on one, and siv sausages on the other, i say, gov i ate, i know , and siv, he says, you don’t understand, muddy, i bought a lawn mower, i was so hysterical when i started reading the instructions, and now they are translating word for word from german, the first phrase, so the lawn mower, before mowing, will you let

me work in peace or not, i didn’t finish, the first phrase, and here there are three, and you tell me and you don’t let me say the first one, wash the grass before mowing... with shampoo, let me finish , the second phrase, i’m afraid to tell them, honestly, before mowing, i read this to myself, what should i do, before mowing, remove small horned animals from the bushes skork, but that ’s not all, now take a breath in your chest, i to read, i type, and you, to exhale. do not point the device at living people, quietly, let me finish, you avoid winding up individual parts of the body, on the moving part of the device, i can’t, i ’ll check one thing now, now, two, yes,

listen, where do you get the strength from? us in the krylatsky announcement in the entrance, acting... with a shovel on glass, our senior colleague smirnov sokolsky said during the war, people who eat ice cream in a thirty-degree drizzle are impossible to defeat, the audience applauded, and i say that already how many 5 hours he laughs, it’s impossible to win, the best wedding songs, he opens the window,

i’m crazy, my love, marry me tomorrow, we wish you happiness, happiness. hello andrey, andrey malakhov’s evening show, today on rtr, can i trust you, i’m still unemployed, i don’t have time. don’t marry me, i’m not worthy of love, why are you punishing yourself like that, what have you done that you can’t even tell me , a terrible accident will happen, cancel it all, well , cancel it, it’s dangerous, mom, you’re afraid she’s already gone with her own people, i just don’t know where

this trouble is coming from, another victim was found in the north of moscow, is it easier for her to see someone else’s future? than forgetting your past , there was something in your life that torments you, am i right? people who have long been dead. evgenia volunteer, a woman with a past, on friday on rtr, she gave birth, the walls were shaking, big changes had come. to the new one. with the new renovation , with a slight movement of the hand, from this room , absolutely without faces, we create three different functional zones; ideas are overflowing; we we want to turn the radiator into wartom, there will be a lot of surprises and a lot of work, plans are turning into projects before our eyes

, i adore plants, i’m generally a plant maniac, real stone flowers will soon bloom in the living room of our heroes, after dismantling, a lot will become clear, but dreams become a reality, as you see, let you into your home, big changes , every sunday on rtr, you will agree with me, go to a restaurant, watch on the weekend, why are you alone, i’m not alone, i have a son, marry me, beyond dreams. i don't want becoming a grandmother to someone else’s grandson, on the other side of happiness, i hate

your mother, shut up, what is my fault, i just want to save my child, why is this happening to me, everything in my life is because of you, and now everything will be the same my, where are you, you will come back to me, the other side of love. today on rtr. our victories bring joy to our families and fans. they bring very little joy to our rivals. since the second modern olympic games, boycotts have already begun. there are no complaints against the athletes, but there are complaints against the country. in this situation, it was not the same that with a flag without a flag, i didn’t go at all. irina rodnina, in the program of boris korchevnikov. and fate on monday on rtr.

there are a lot of rumors about chipping people in the future. it should be noted that it is difficult to stop technological progress. he moves forward inexorably and nothing can stop him. one technical person told me, you can’t imagine how in just 10-15 years a lot will change in our lives. for example, you arrive at the airport, having paid for your ticket by phone, you you no longer have your suitcases scanned, you don’t show your documents, you have already been enlightened, at the entrance and you know who you are, what you are carrying , they meet you, take your suitcase, don’t tell you anything, lead you straight to the entrance of the plane, or to the departure waiting area , yes, they already know everything about you, yes, as soon as... you entered and this does not so much harm you, unless of course you are an honest person, as it creates you comfort in life. of course, protesters will also appear

, they say, they don’t want the state to know everything about what they are doing, where they are going, while it is impossible to reconcile these opposing points of view, those who do not believe in our vaccine also created similar disputes, i heard an anecdote, during the advent of penicillin... there was the internet, and if it had existed, protests would have started among alarmists and provocateurs would have cleverly taken advantage of this, they would have started rumors that we are being poisoned by mold, better sepsis and gangrene, after all, we have always suffered from these diseases, it is better to be without a leg than to die in a few years with two legs, but to be half a man, the other half a man with mold, technology and electronics. doesn't matter

come into life, now they hang bracelets on the leg or arm of a person under suspicion in order to monitor or know about him, every day , i follow fashion, i want to be independent, i go to boutiques, but i don’t have enough money to buy, suddenly my mind . i’ve already found a stash of how he could hide so much money, but now it’s not an easy task , how to tell him about it, well, how to say, well, how to say, people who have arranged a scandal like this, i can’t avoid a scandal, there will definitely be swearing, there will definitely be swearing, there will definitely be , hello, my wife

beloved, marina sergeevna. hello, fedya, why are you talking so strangely? look, you don't have a face. fedya, what happened? today, marina sergeevna, i found myself in a very difficult, life-like, i would say, delicate situation. fedya, what other situation? well, you know, for 15 years now, i have been working as a loader in a store. so i won’t reach into my pocket for a word, well, i know, yes, what a swearer you are here, it’s just terrible, fedya, i remember, mom broke your favorite cup, so you swore at her like that, poor mom, went to sakhalin, even though she lived all her life life in kaliningrad, just to be away from yourself, so come on, tell me what happened,

in general, today at work, yeah, a cast iron battery flew onto my leg from the top shelf, well , i said everything about this i think even my colleagues, the loaders, had their ears withered, all the milk on the shelves in the store had turned sour, there were these women and children in the store, the children immediately grew up by 20 years, and my mother, well, they called the police, they kept me in the monkey bar for 2 hours, wanted to get a prison sentence for swearing in a public place, but instead, here’s a bracelet put it on, come on, okay, cute, cute, yes, this is nanotechnology, the latest developments,

he gives an electric shock for every swear word. fedya, poor thing, how are you going to live now, you have five swear words out of four words, that’s why i try to behave culturally, yeah, politely, he even wrote out all sorts of cultural words, i’ll read them now, here well, how was your day, and me, and me? i found your stash in the bedroom under the baseboard. oh, my beloved wife. darling, what are you doing, how are you wrong. wrong, my god. what

a nuisance, do you want me to be electrocuted now, or what? honey, what are you doing, just don’t worry, please don’t worry , where is the money, marina, i spent it, that’s it , that’s it, well, this is a complete, complete failure, just a minute. god, what bad luck, i’m sad, i just don’t have words, but there’s no need to get in trouble, i’ll tell you everything myself, yeah, ugh, fedya, i bought new boots, motherfucker, my

mother, lidia petrovna, wouldn’t approve of these act, why, i bought boots for my mother too, what kind of light did you buy boots, black to sing, but you understand, this is the thing, for such and such boots, i desperately needed a new handbag, then i found yours... in a jar of stew that had been in ours for 5 years refrigerator, why did you do that, i’m stunned, yeah, i’m amazed, yeah, i’m speechless, that’s it. that’s it, fedya, you understand,

this is the thing, with boots and a handbag, well , i really needed a new dress, that’s when. i found it, don’t, marina, i have to, fedya, i have to, i found your stash, walled up in the wall in the hallway, oh my, yolzhikov in i want sour cream.

and pickled ant eyebrows, hedenka, check out the couture dress, yeah, this is some kind of burlesque, i like it too, but you understand, this is the thing, for such a dress, well, i really needed diamond earrings, oh, wow, oh, wow, how i’m overwhelmed with emotions, it’s incredible. yeah, i’m not happy, i’m stunned and crushed, and how stunned and crushed i was when , quite by accident, fedenka found your

stash, which you hid from me for 10 years in a flush cistern in the toilet, probably buried on a motorcycle, with a stroller , yes i love you, yes you fuck! oh, oh, hello, i’ll be here soon , come quickly, i think i’ve killed my husband, but no , he’s alive, don’t come, but no, come anyway, i haven’t told him about the fur coat yet.

the phrase of the great director anatoly efres, rehearsal my love, is often repeated by actors, what kind of rehearsals are there in the theater in life, in the theater there are many different ones, table rehearsals, rehearsals... enclosures, home, editing, technical, run-through and finally dress rehearsals on stage , in musical theaters additionally orchestral rehearsals, accompanist rehearsals, solo, ensemble, choral, choreographic and so on. stanislavsky clarified that approximately 75% of what is done at rehearsal is usually not included in the performance. i was surprised when i found out that in... in some countries there is a wedding rehearsal, like this, now many events are rehearsed, weddings, engagements,

probably funerals, the whole script goes through in advance so that everyone knows what they will do there what will he say, where will he show what, maybe all that other stuff, i imagined imagine what would have happened if there had been a rehearsal. would be held with us. so, gentlemen, marriage makers, er, brooders, let's begin the wedding rehearsal. cameraman, filming, the bride's exit. bride, you asked that a five-year-old girl carry the train of your long dress. unfortunately, there are no girls; baba zina will carry the train. she has the brains of a five-year-old girl. once at the wedding she was mistakenly tied to a car instead of a doll, baba zina was screaming at the entire pavement, everyone let them go ahead, they thought she was coming soon, then the groom confused her with a drunk

with the bride, the next morning baba zina woke up, happy, now she goes to all weddings regularly, like... by the way, you should all know who is called what, what is the name of the mother of the bride, mother-in-law, right, what is the mother of the groom, mother-in-law, right , and the bride, what are you saying, an ice cream spider, stop these jokes, we are rehearsing the ceremony of the zaksi, the mother lays out a towel, on which they become young , mother, why is your handbrake so dirty, you are marrying off your daughter for the ninth time, young people, who will be the first to this towel will be the head of the family, let’s rehearse, one, two, congratulations,

babazina will be the head of the family, as you asked in the zaksa, you will have a live orchestra playing, however , the violinist is ill, the pianist is a binge drinker, the trumpeter quit, so the mendelssohn march will be played for you by a drummer, he will also play weddings, all 4 hours, then the groom leads the bride to registrar go ahead, just don’t worry, because our receptionist is young, she’s worried and she confuses everything , recently instead of the bride and groom he said congratulations, you are your husband’s wives, then she corrected, she said: wife and husband, then she said, morsh and walrus, then she said, i wish you would die spat and left.

well, don’t worry, don’t worry, the guard will register you, he will be in formal attire in a robe over a sheepskin coat, after registration we pose for a photo, we all smile, bride, you don’t need to smile, close this cave of gems, by the way, it’s better to take photographs from the zaksa ourselves, because recently the newlyweds were sent photographs, not wedding photographs. postcards with species of animals, the customers looked at them and said , wow, we got so drunk, half of the guests are unrecognizable, after the kiss, the bride, according to tradition, throws the wedding bouquet, the bouquet will be heavy, so when you throw it, shout, lie down, lie down, babazin, why did you lie down, babazin zina, where did you see people lying down like that? in

the movie emmanul? when leaving the zaksa, we rehearse as for the newlyweds, they throw rice as a sign of abundance, we throw it in, but we don’t throw it in bundles, we print it out, baba zinin, there is no need to collect rice, then the whole wedding comes up with cupid statues, well, so that there will be offspring, according to tradition, of brides ... cupid must rub the part that shines the most, but everyone rubs it, it shines, but you don’t understand, bride, what you are doing, that you have entered into the enemy, that you are shouting for the wrong person, you got married, no, no, no, bride, calm down, you can’t take cupid with you, he’s all-powerful, after the zakse everyone...

we get into the wedding limousine, what kind of limousine did you order, of course, we all get into wedding limousine ak. we go to memorable places. those who do not fit into the libuzin will run behind. since the double rings from the car were stolen, the roof of the limousine will be installed, wrapped, therefore, with multi-colored ribbons. baba zina. after the walk they will show you the film the runaway bride starring julie and some robert will each offer korooki to the guests with a song, the dolphin fell in love with the mermaid, she spent 3 days caviar metal. and now we are rehearsing the feast in the restaurant. please note that we specially ordered the salad from soft vegetables so that it would suit the face.

next, the groom makes a toast in honor of the new mother, groom, you have a toast in verse, well done, she is beautiful and pretty, she has already cried, this is still in your work, no, we will not drink from a shoe in the wedding room, it was a terrible incident , the bride was wearing boots in butfort, the groom's top was half cut. and now the culmination of the wedding, festive a fight, according to our belief, the more evil the fight. the more happiness for the young, the more happiness for you, groom, just an agreement not to get drunk before the wedding night, otherwise baba zina won’t miss hers, she’s just waiting for it!

the sage said: when you lose something, be glad that you didn’t lose a lot, when you lost a lot, be glad that you didn’t lose everything. when you lose everything, be glad that you have nothing to lose , you are free, if life has cracked, wow, then pour out all your adversities there, and boldly move on, you need to look for the positive everywhere, even if behind your back they say all sorts of garbage about you, this is good fertilizer, now it will be easier

for you to grow and develop, henry ford has such a saying, when it seems that the whole world is against you, remember that the plane... takes off against the wind. in a word, hume, of course, joins this whole flow of positive attitude, telling us, first of all, not to lose heart.

what are the next tasks, i’ll tell you this separately, when the cameras are turned off, where to go and what to do? did they just recommend that you never read american newspapers? straight from russia from china, a stranger, of course, how much time do you devote to the progress of a special military operation, all this begins the day and ends with this, the first thing they didn’t say, we have a lot of them, the buryats don’t flee, on helicopter board number one, we we’ll be the first to know about this, alexander grigorievich, hello, let him in, guys, there are no forces that could hold him back, you ’re probably the first here to show this, pasha, you ’re filming this, hello, hello, you’ve learned how to do this. in the first person, you just tell me tell me what is happening and where, at 3:30 in the morning, of course, i always have to be in touch, moscow, the kremlin, putin, again we will see and show more than the rest, thank you very much, come back on

sunday on rtr. hello, on the russia tv channel, irina rossius is in the studio and the main topics for this hour. near arrtemovsk, airborne forces fighters blew up a ukrainian infantry fighting vehicle with a direct hit from a missile system. the reconnaissance detachment of the ukrainian armed forces was also destroyed. with the help of drones, there are fierce battles near donetsk, they have already erected concrete there.