million dollars in microcredit at 700% per annum, that’s it, i’m leaving, where are you going with such debts, nina petrovna, what kind of rudeness is this, to die without paying off, live the same way, lord, that’s it, that’s it.

vladimir. blue bird, anniversary season, sunday on рrt, what do we need to do to get pregnant, it’s even in his business plan, this child has been standing for 2 years already, our fate is in our hands, artyom osipov, i think,

every day, elena shilova, i’m pregnant, tell me what you had with my ex- wife, this is life, premiere, today on rtr, we gathered about ten people into the first group, there were short calls, we are going to donetsk, you are with us, yes, when my fighters came running, they carried me, another shelling began, they laid me down, lay on top of me, alone the bullet is still... still in me, let’s say it’s my trophy, someone was hungry, and here comes grandma, hungry herself, but she’s carrying this kurbuda, she says, baby, feed the dogs, extend your hand help, olga and i decided that we needed to take the guys in, i came across such people who were not indifferent, to support me with a word, hello, dear soldier, and in fact, without your help you would not have survived. only

ours can, honor and praise to you, what you do is simply amazing, from monday to thursday, on rtr, for fulfilling all our wishes, on friday, i didn’t even know that this could happen, that i could be so strong to love, this is such happiness, i don’t understand what kind of relationship we have with you, he’s real, and why then all this, the wedding, the game of love with lena, for us this is a good deal, alexander makagon, legally i am the husband, the heir too, i didn’t play with the side, but you ruin one thing, and then there’s a murder, artyom osipov, he was following the beast, i see the car is upside down, she’s not breathing, i need to get her feeling, maria kulikova.

i know that there are people who are very worried about me, i need to somehow get out of here, i’m guilty without guilt, on friday on rtr, we watch movies and tv series, we watch opera , we watch ballet, we watch theater, we watch concerts and festivals, we watch competitions and master classes. watch films about history and art, watch educational lectures, watch science programs, watch interviews and talk shows, we watch the news , we watch documentaries, russia culture on the platform we watch, you watch 100 to one,

what is the task of opening the whole board, can we handle it? if you ask, then with a hint. what character from pushkin’s works does everyone know the name of? who speaks a lot and loudly at work , if you answer, then with humor, i would chop oak, not pluck, problems with water, light, uh, housing and communal services, i don’t know what else, geometry, algebra, physics, chemistry, set for headache, god forbid now, 100 to one, tomorrow on rtr, oh, karen, you know, they’re talking about you

incredible rumors, yes, they say that you create culinary miracles at home, listen, karen, well, share, if it’s not a secret, of course, okay. i'm making a revolution in cooking, i came up with a sausage in the making of which no animal is harmed. oh, karen, you tried in vain, there is such sausage in bulk in any store, it doesn’t even smell like natural meat. but the secret of making sausage according to my recipe is that the main thing in it is not the meat, but the thought. oh, karen, the thinker. sausage, yes, that's amazing, keep going, i've been thinking so hard about my sausage, yeah, that hungry dogs were gathering around me, and what is this, but that’s in the past, now i decided

to make cheese at home, but again nothing worked out, why karen, well, tell me to the end, what the reason for your failures? it turned out that in order to make cheese at home... well, you still learned how to make something useful, right? i’ve already learned how to put the kettle on well, that’s it, enough about the sad stuff, now we’ll look at an artist who can do everything without a hitch, on stage gennady vetrov, my today's miniature will be in the grotesque style and i want to preface it with a special stitch of my own making

. grandpa's wood was chopping the boys, last week the whole village was laughing, half of my grandfather's back was occupied with firewood, in general, this tattoo was discussed before... well, speaking seriously, yes without grotesque, then today half of our people are tattooed, well, you must agree, yes, today tattoo parlors paint people, more and brighter than the indian tribes of each other, and children too, but it’s good that children’s tattoos are washed off, yes, adults, they for life, yes, but here the situation is simple, my body, my business. but you must admit, if the body is beautiful, yes, athletic, if a person looks after it, the little one , she is an adornment, she adds such charm, flair, yes, which cannot be said about other options, a woman walks along the beach, maybe she once was size forty-four

made a boat tattoo on her stomach, years have passed, this size sixty-eight is walking along the beach along the folds of her stomach, like such a sail floating on the waves... with sails, she leads the baby, the baby fell, she bent over raise it, a schoolboy next to him: “auntie, your ship was washed away by a wave.” she says he was hiding in the bay from the storm, now i’ll get up and appear again. a young guy, about 15 years old, a teenager, came to the tattoo parlor and said, i want you to tattoo penelope cruz on my chest. i really love this hollywood actress: tattoo her, but they say, well, we can tattoo her, well, you don’t mind her breasts, he says no, no, i love her so much, i won’t leave without her, well, whatever you want, he penelope cruz was made to his full chest, five years passed, he matured,

now the hair has appeared, now he doesn’t undress anywhere, even on the beach they tell him, san, well, at the beach we’ll unbutton our shirt, yeah. only the razstyugi will all end at once urs, you’ll shave the city, before tattoos , yes, it was the prerogative of... men, and serious men, tattoos were then simply called tattoos, well, before it was fashionable, you know, to write a name on your fingers, or yours, or your favorite, it means that here is the sun on your hand, everyone is bragging about who has what, one sits so sadly at the end of the table, they they say, seryoga, what are you, are you untouched in this regard, you would have stuffed yourself with something, now you can’t live without it, it ’s fashion, you know, we’re looking at you and you’re losing. they are sitting at the table with us , you understand, everyone has already drunk, he says: and i

’m ready to do anything, we have a tattoo parlor nearby, two stops, so they come to the salon and tell the young master, give us something fashionable , he says, well, tell me where and what, i will do whatever you want, and he says, my body is at your disposal, he says, well, you know, you have his bald spot was so cute, not like everyone else, but he had a bald spot and around the bald spot, you know, like that... his voice, many people, men, leave it, yes, i never understood why, maybe as a memory, not i know, well, something like that, memories, nostalgia, but my uncle explained it to me, he said: “hey, nephew, i wear furs all the time, everyone thinks i’m sweaty, you know, i haven’t taken it off anywhere, you know , hair, here, well , the guy, so he took his bald spot, tattooed it, a man’s face, it turned out with a beard, this one hair, well, they gave him a mirror to look at, he’s like this..." and i don’t care, but he doesn’t care, but he lives among people, and it

was in st. petersburg, so he was once waiting for his wife after work, and the st. petersburg courtyards, they are so, you know, they are so dark, they are courtyards, wells, echoes, i lived in st. petersburg for a long time, you know, there, you shout in the yard, yes, the echo comes back, it happens on the second day, and it ’s not yours, there he stands in the gateway , he’s waiting for his wife, there’s a guy sitting there, he’s such a homeless person, he says: you hear, brother, buy me a cigarette and let’s chat a little, you know too, it’s a bit boring alone in night, but he doesn’t want to talk to a drunk, and he went, you know, and he looks after him at the back of his head, his face and says, wow, i need to stop drinking , backed up, backed up, backed up, a friend told me, on the beach lying, sunbathing, talking, walking forward, talking, a man is rushing along the beach, such a well-worn, lean, lean man in swimming trunks. on his legs on a peg, they are tired of walking, in his arms, they

are tired of working, where is the heart, it is tired of loving, another man is lying, he says, now he will take off his swimming trunks, fatigue is written everywhere, but you know, women in terms of tattoos, they still come first, i heard two friends talking in the gym, well , i just go to the gym. now it’s fashionable , i swing, it’s true that you react correctly on the swing, and when i undress, i even laugh at the exercise equipment, now it’s not about me, i hear one friend, the other for the whole room, say: and lyutochka, i didn’t understand something, you have i think there was such a cute snake on my neck, i don’t see something right now, or am i confusing something, correct me if i’m wrong, people, there was a snake on my neck, come here, why are you yelling at the whole hall, what you yell at the whole hall, attract attention, you came up and asked whether there was a snake or not, so i came up and asked: there was a snake, no, there was, there was, but where is it now? i had

a facelift, now it lives behind my ear, friends, think about getting a tattoo, remember our conversation today, maybe you shouldn’t rush yet, although, as they say, my body is mine... it’s business! lena, tell me, do you know how to cook delicious food? karen, no one has complained yet. let’s give some useful advice to those who don’t know how to cook, men or something, well, men same. yes, it’s easy, look, here’s a universal recipe:

cut all the products in the house as finely as possible and mix, everything that can be fried will be second, if it burns it will stick together, karen, this is pizza, what cannot be fried, we boil in pan, this will be the first thing, everything that remains, karen, this is a salad, but a modest bottle of vodka will not only decorate... the table, but will hide your culinary mistakes. now, let's give some advice to those who want to laugh. please, let's make ourselves more comfortable before. tv, make sound louder, watch the performances of funny artists, because now the clown-mime-theater stage is a world of faces,

senior investigator shveytsova, marya sergeevna, tell me, the long-awaited secret investigations, what’s going on here? everything is fine, firearms, well, in general, not a day without an adventure. every detective, if i hadn’t been hired as a detective, i would have become the commandant of the women’s dormitory, wants to know, question, is it possible when

the secrets of the investigation begin, mash, come on, repent, mind you, i ’m not hiding anything, secret investigations are with us again, oh , what happiness, from monday to rtr, we gathered about ten people in the first group, there were short calls, we are going to donetsk, you are with us, yes, when my fighters came running, they carried me, another shelling began, they laid me down, lay on top of me, one bullet is still in me, and let’s say this is my trophy, someone was starving. and here comes a grandmother, hungry herself, but she takes this kurba to the shelters and says: baby, feed the dogs, lend a helping hand, olga and i decided that

we need to take the kids in, people are like that to me caught, caring, support in word, hello, dear soldier and deed, without your help you would not have done this, only ours can, honor and praise to you. what you do is simply amazing, from monday to thursday, on rtr, from the first note, beauty, rehearsal, with the first phrase, better than a bird in your hands. than a feather in one place , you swim finely, from the first smile, we recognize each of them, front, profile, back of the head, belov, or something

, we have been together since first grade, we are also responsible for everything we do together, and in everything this shit, i've got your back, team, slow down cars, the whole crew is just on the platform , we’re looking at the teapot, manenka, how do you have to love a person in order to take him and come to him, what is a strong family built on , of course an interesting question, on love, what beautiful girls, i thought... he knows how to do everything, this is what a person lives for, he must have a continuation, this is what a good conversation is built on , trust, i am so contradictory,

wisdom. my cunning has also turned on, my eye is burning, that is, well, if you noticed, even two, when everyone is at home on sunday, on rtr, we look before everyone else, let’s meet, veronica palovna vasiltsova, your new boss, and this is a female corpse, with blunt trauma to the skull, vasnetsova, always one step ahead, i sang my swan fidelity for 5 years in the room on a stool in front of the guests.

oh, kharin, what’s wrong with you, you’re wounded, this is the other side of art, cooking, and the frying pan, or what, is it, in general, in order to learn all the intricacies of cooking, you need to start practicing it from childhood, like in sports, that’s right, that's right karen, my friend put her son on a bike at 4 and he rode, how old is he now? now he is 8 years old, i can imagine where he went for 4 years, now he is probably already far away, in what sense, karen, why are you scaring me, i almost didn’t believe it, listen, don’t scare me, you know, you can’t scare me, why ? well, because i'm scared, better tell me, what's your culinary news? for example, i learned to throw a pancake with a frying pan, oh, what are you talking about,

now all i have to do is learn... to catch this pancake in time to dodge the frying pan, yes, rarely does anyone succeed in everything at once, there is an appearance, no voice, there is a voice, with humor bad, the artist who will now appear on this stage has everything in its place, you will watch his performance and laugh, meet the incredible karen avanesyan on stage, i have one friend and he, like all southerners , loves to eat very tasty and his favorite dish is you know what, lamprey fish, well, there is such a fish, it’s called lamprey, one day in one small town he ran into a restaurant

to have lunch, well , a waiter immediately flies up to him, hands him a menu, says what we’ll order, the southerner looked at him carefully and says: dear, why a menu, i want to eat lamprey, the waiter says: great, we have excellent cuisine, we’ll feed you to your fill. what exactly do you want? he says: “i told you, i want to eat meme.” the waiter says: i understand that there is a lot, but what exactly, mushroom sub, besteak, shish kebab. he says: okay, dear, carry everything you said, but most importantly, the lamprey. the waiter

says, but you didn’t say how many servings you need , two, three, he says: no, two or three are not necessary, one serving, but a lot, the waiter says, okay, i’ll make you a big cold cut, a whole tureen of hot food, a bowl of salad and a bucket with fruit, someone got offended and said why a bucket, what am i doing? or what , or do you think, i don’t understand the russian language well , i understand it very well, but they don’t understand there, i’m walking down the street, everything is beautiful, good, the sun is shining , i see a cafe, the cafe’s name is short, it’s called, and that’s what it’s written , cafe - tile, listen, what kind of cafe is this? there’s nothing, i

go in and say what you have, they say it’s a bar, i say chocolate, i don’t know, i haven’t tried it, i say, give me one, i ’ll give it to my girl, she really loves bars eat, listen, they almost went crazy there, the waiter is screaming, so you misunderstood the name , but how else can you understand, i was driving yesterday , i see a stall, it says, ram, 200 rubles, that’s what it says, ram! 200 rub. i accelerated in a jeep, rammed this kiosk , as they asked, instead of giving me 200 rubles, you know, how much money they took from me, they scream, how much, i say, but a

lot, a lot, you know, they grabbed me with suction cups , with all sorts of tentacles, then the waiter realized, shouted, that’s it. i guessed you want octopus, southerners says, why axis, no wasps, i don’t want, i want, lamprey, alexander says, so, wait, wait, a second, let me figure it out, are you expecting guests, or will you take all this with you? no, i’m not waiting for anyone , i won’t take anything with me, i’ll sit here, i’ll eat, i’ll like everything myself, also... i’ll order whatever you order, eat, lamprey, the waiter is crying, so i offered you the same thing, no , what did you say, a bowl of meat, a bucket of soup, is that a lamprey, the waiter

looks at him, says, and you know what eating so much is bad for your health, have you consulted a doctor, yes, a doctor i know told me, do you want to be healthy? handsome , strong, don’t listen to anyone, eat mino. yes, with such a diet, it won’t hurt to drink. of course, of course, dear, it won't hurt. the waiter busily took out a notepad, so that we will drink, cognac, whiskey. oh, dear, and cognac, and whiskey, and wine, but only if there is lamprey. the office is here. i couldn’t stand it, that’s it , you won’t find it enough, i’ll order you a whole truckload of food, a whole truckload of alcohol, that ’s enough for you, that’s enough, dear, i’ll pay for everything, money

it’s not a pity, but if there is no lamprey, you will eat and drink these two trucks yourself. lenska, i apologize, but what are you reading now, you understand, i want to cook for the audience, and some exotic dish, look, look, so what’s the recipe, add 8 mg of bee milk, yeah, listen, karen , bee milk, but bird milk still goes back and forth. and a bee, what kind of bee is this, now i’ll explain: a bee, yeah, it ’s a wasp, yeah, like a mosquito, but only a fly, listen, what is a bee, i imagine, i i can’t imagine a creature

that has learned to feed a bee, well, this is probably a collective image, so to speak, well, i once ordered a rabbit horn, so the menu says mixed meat, i asked, i say, what does combined meat mean? the waiter explained to me that the mixture is 50% rabbit and 50% chicken, listen, it says, cook over low heat, stirring for 24 hours. listen, when should you go to bed? kharin, how many hours do you sleep? i strictly follow the regime, sleep 8 hours a day, during the day, and at night, are you awake? no, this dish is not suitable for us, then we will greet the audience in the old fashioned way with bread and salt, that’s right, we’ll present a loaf of laughter and flavor it with a pinch of humor as salt, on stage svetlana rashkova and

yuri evgapunin, hello, hello, yes, yes, yes, yes, sergei eduardovich, yes, yes, yes , everything will be fine, yes, i promise you. literally in a couple of days, i’ll finish writing one erotic scene, and the novel is on your table, we agreed, 2 days, that’s it, good, great, that’s it, thank you, that’s it. so, he unbuttoned her blouse, pulled it down like the skin of an overripe banana, no, he tore it off her blouse slid his lips over her body, like a clam on ice. no, she won’t, he tore off

her blouse, she passionately hissed, take out the trash, what kind of trash, i brought you trash, take it out, dear, well, you see, i’m working, and you see, i’m working, i’m in the creative process, oh my god , i’m a writer, understand, i have one scene left to finish, don’t bother me, please, just daria dontsova, male. i 'm trying to finish the novel, he tore off her blouse, full of passion came from her lips, crooked, take out the trash, i'll take out your trash, first i need to finish writing this erotic scene , well, don’t interfere, but god, i asked you , tell me what you sprinkled there, let me help you, well, quickly and well, he tore off her blouse, so he reached out to her with his lips, so and gently snored, why did he snore? well, remember

our anniversary? what do i have to do with it? i have a character here, he tore off her blouse, well , he reached out to her with his lips, and she was trembling with desire, she was trembling with desires for the mood, she turned on a song by stas mikhailov, it seems like something started between them, it’s already even ended, when it ended, then stas mikhailov finished singing the second verse. come on, let me see what you sprinkled there, yes, oh, my god, he tore off her blouse, reached out to her with his lips, oh, i like this about the banana, lord, what, what nonsense, well are you writing? well, where is the truth of life, where do you write, she

let out a low, drawn-out groan when she returned home after the second shift, when she saw her husband on the sofa in only his shorts, her body simply shook and became obsolete. punch him in the face, she controlled herself and said, gently, well take, take my heavy bags, you asshole , then she threw the chicken in the microwave, and he came up from behind, he put his arm around her shoulders, and he, and he whispered in her ear, hello, let me,

let me eat! and erotic thoughts swirled in her head like panties in a washing machine, she, she shouted to him out of despair, take out the trash, that’s enough, give it here, this is not literature at all, what are you talking about, have you gone crazy, what kind of literature, well which? literature, oh, this is our life with you, oh, and where did you see this, remember our anniversary, how long can you remember this anniversary, and you understand, i need erotica, turn it on me, these are 75 kg parted mouths, well, well, do something, well, i need it on paper, god, my god! okay, on paper

, so on paper, write, he hugged her, passionately, and goosebumps danced a lambada over her body, wait, no, don’t rush, first you need to take off your blouse, lord, i’m not with you, with the heroine, here's me, when are we going to film, when? when i finish, you understand, a writer, a woman, she is like a book, she wants to be read. and if if someone thinks that he read half a page once in six months, that’s all, then he should know that we have the most reading country in the world. i understand you, and a good book

will find it. your reader, understand? yes, the main thing is don’t be nervous, i promise you , i’ll finish it, everything i write here is what we will have, yes, yes, okay, yes, i didn’t say it, you said it, okay, well then write , write, write, i will dictate, she came, she came home, speechless from what she saw, the floor was strewn with rose petals! the dishes were washed to a shine, the trash was taken out at 2 months ahead, in the corridor, she saw the dream of her whole life, she saw a wonderful, beautiful, expensive noise woman, press the

brake, and the brake? this time in silence, in the kitchen peeling potatoes, no, he came up to her and whispered passionately, yes, yes, he passionately whispered, i nailed a shelf for you in the kitchen, thank you - she said thank you, dear, finally, i was waiting for this news 15 years old, thank you, no, he tore off her blouse and threw her on the sofa, joke in her ear? i gave her science, i want, i really want your mother to come to us, no, yes, i put it in her hand, keys to a renault car, pink , that's it, that's it, that's it, the end, the romance, the end

of the romance, right? you promised! zaya, even joint creativity excited me so much that i was overwhelmed with desires, impatience trembled, impulses trembled, with these hands i will now take it and take out the trash. yes, i was always happy when i had girls, our dad is very family-oriented, he knows how to do everything, he can do anything, when he also made a samovar for a song, he himself performed in this samovar. it always surprises me that

at this age, a person has such mature, powerful, deep, very strong voice, it seems to me that papa samolar warms the whole family with this energy, i really don’t want to let you go, maybe we ’ll sing some kind of winter song, as if winter were not so cheerful in the city, we have never known these happy days. blue bird, anniversary season, sunday on рrt, i came up with a brilliant plan, trust me, it

’s up to you, i want to invite you to a restaurant today, i would be very pleased if you agreed, no need to rush, ol, i’m over 30, i i’m already getting used to old things. nastya roadside your father died and left you an inheritance. andrey chadov, are you courting rich heiresses? olya, by the way, is my wife. yes, listen, you’re a smart guy, you need to get rid of her. unsent letter. today on rtr. we watch to learn about the world, educational programs and documentaries, we watch, we watch, in the application: or on the website, many of you check your email first thing when you wake up, and i, of course, am no exception.

opened the champagne, do you want to get a sea of ​​positive emotions? tours to abkhazia, week i was resting in my skirt, i could barely fit it in. you are at the right place, here they will cheer up everyone, kesha wants to read, please read, i can’t read, but a man has to earn money, yesterday i earned such money from my wife, on the air of the morning mail and i am its host, nikolai baskov, the most positive, morning mail with nikolai baskolov, on sundays on rtr. it’s all

about me, yes, but i’m healthy, if i can never have children, i love you very much , it’s difficult to give life, my body is afraid of not having a child, but don’t be afraid, girl, because first you need... to deal with your own , you need to go to the police, ning, there is no need for any police, that’s the mark on her face, that ’s where it comes from, there’s something wrong with her, this can’t be, or what do you think, am i going to raise this geek or something, i decided to keep the child, this is life, it seemed to me that you needed help. premiere, today on rtr, provocation is

an acquisitive behavior, there is a difference between a man and a woman, i noticed, then it turns out that my husband and my cat are the most intelligent creatures in our family. orientalism, this is supposedly some kind of parallel agenda, what do you care about nerif? continuation of the conversation in new episodes of our podcasts, and in order not to miss anything, subscribe , listen and watch on the media platform, watch substation, the first podcasts we watch, i still have pain here, here it hurts, here it hurts, this disease never manifests itself acutely , creeps up gradually, to be healthy, the most important thing is to remember the principle of three... this, by the way, is officially proven, proper nutrition, how to properly eat away stress? need to choose those

foods that are not harmful to eat , the right medications, run to the doctor , medications are like crutches for us, and the right habits, shouldn’t we slap a little kefir, and i’m not afraid of this word, our health, about the most important thing, from monday to friday . on рrt. but can you pass the cooking exam right away? easy, easy. well then, pull the ticket, come on. well, this one, for example, come on, what’s there? so, forks, forks, forks. yes. so, tell karen. four-prong fork. think. well. with four, yes, it's for garnish, ho, that's right, a fork with three teeth , strain yourself, with three for meat, oh, now the question

is more complicated, a fork with two teeth, oh , you want to fall asleep on me, yes, it won't work, with two, it's for fish, oh, it's necessary, you know, well, now here’s a question for filling, a fork with one tooth, with one, with one, think, karen, think, a fork with one tooth is a knife, well done, karent, he passed the exam, well, it couldn’t be any other way, and now champagne for everyone at my expense, for everyone, we are visiting, stas, ekha, and the sea is so worried, without you, spring is sad, but

we're just kissing. we ran with you, leaving traces, like shadows from the sun, it’s a pity, we never touched the ground, let’s not return, you, come to me where there is water outside the windows, we won’t leave a trace. for loneliness, without you , the moon burns out and the sea worries so much, without a wall of sadness, spring is just imagining something new.

the combs are frozen on the sand, in the cool dawn, who turns the wheel back, let’s not notice, come to me where it is outside the window. nivata, don’t leave the light of loneliness, without you, the moon will punish you, and the sea will be so strong worried, without sleep, sadness in spring, but we just listen.

the moon is burning, and the sea is so worried, without you, yes, it’s a sad spring, but here we’re just kissing, without anyone, yes, the moon is rising, and the sea is so worried, without always, sadness and

spring, but we’re just howling. well, since we are talking about cooking, i want to invite you to a restaurant, well, just lenochka , i’m tired of this naval pasta, look, they sent me a sample menu by mail, my head is just spinning, what kind of restaurant is this karen, and doesn't matter, i'm for everything i’m crying, so choose for yourself, well, look, a rabbit horn. in a creamy sauce, uh-huh, duck with potatoes and rosemary, oh, turkey with sweet potatoes, with ostrich pate, look, mussel meat with seaweed and smoked meats, and even champignons, that's enough, that's enough, don't read any further, i can't i’ve already heard this, choose any dish, well, i personally recommend it to you - turkey with ostrich meat pate,

tell me, my friend, this is what animal... do you associate yourself with? well, when i'm with a lady, i feel like a tiger, sometimes even a lion, oh then everything is clear, you are a cat, well, yes, but have you never felt like a cat? in what sense? what did you give me assortment of cat food? i didn’t understand, rabbit stew in creamy sauce. this is for cats, yes, creamy sauce is for cats, and cats too, well, do you want to go with me to this restaurant and eat midi meat with seaweed and smoked champignons? no longer, i fundamentally prefer naval-style pasta, okay, karan, do naval-style pasta, on stage in the first line

of the artistic menu svyatoslav yeshchenko. dear viewers, i now want to show an observation of my friend, just imagine, such a burning caucasian brunette, a father of many children, i once watched him screaming under the windows of the maternity hospital, so this scene was born: nurse, and hello, and get dirty. he was born, it’s true, it’s true, it’s a girl

, i’ve been waiting for him so much, but can you imagine, i have a boy, a whole six of them, two triplets, for the girl, thank you, hey, how does he feel?

doesn’t know, doesn’t have a scale, why isn’t there a scale? sister, the owner took the narinka, his brother they asked, and that it’s impossible to weigh a child at all, why can’t it be, it’s possible, i’m a girl, i’ll take it, weigh it, take it to you , tell you, your head is really bad, but, on the contrary, it’s good, let him get used to weighting from childhood. okay, such an imeys , no one knows that the ruler is also a norinka, yes, why, the ruler is our wine atelier, my

girl is also there, gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, what do you want, but you have to go a long way there, money for a taxi, give me 500 rubles, 500 ruble belisk there, 200 kvati there, gasoline has risen in price by 400, no less, 300 and no. talk to kopecks, okay, neither you nor me, 350, okay, i persuaded you, you don’t need height at all, just say, girl, you’re beautiful, you ’re a bombshell, you look like me, no, i’m telling you, you’re beautiful, what kind of hair does he have, brunette or?

change it and look how many pieces you print , one became instead of three , you don’t know how to use the equipment, and your sister is too lazy to blame you, let ’s bring the cognac, quickly, uh, we’ll all drink together for each of your photocopies.

listen, i’m shocked, they just told me that a tomato is a berry, can you imagine how to now determine which are the vegetables and which are the berries? as a cook with extensive experience, i can give you free advice, listen, everything you just mentioned needs to be cooked, so what? so what? if the result is soup, it means vegetables; if compote, it means berries. i can’t cook anything now, my stove is broken. i called a repairman, but he refuses to fix the stove, it’s strange, which technician did you call and which one do you need, the stove broke, i called a tiler, oh, listen, there is another way to get jam, you don’t have to boil the berries, you can just cover them with sugar , or you can even simpler, squeeze the jam out of donuts, you give healthy nutrition, as they say, in a healthy body, a very healthy mind, and healthy humor on...

nikolai lukinsky will now demonstrate , meet me, when my son was born, sashok. you know, i didn’t know whether to cry or laugh, no , a normal boy, everything, healthy, yes, but he turned out to be, you know, what, the fashionable word now is, indigo, indigo, but in our opinion, a prodigy, imagine , such a kid, he, he, when he was just born, instead of yelling like all children, he began to tell the doctors where to bandage correctly the umbilical cord, calmed the mother down and

made a feeding schedule, the birth house was in shock, they held a consultation and checked that the baby was normal, healthy, and he, my little fellow, thanked everyone for their attention and went home under his own power, so if he wasn’t kept for long at all, who needs a baby , who himself swaddles the others, sings them a lullaby in the voice of vitas. the nannies faint, the same thing happens in kindergarten , yes, after the visit of the mayor, whom, by the way, my sashok promoted for major repairs, how he also drew up a development schedule, this sashok is mine, i drew up a plan for the development of educators, and calculated to the nearest milligram how many products the cooks take home from work in the evenings in their bags every day. so

, when i was called to a parent meeting at school, i wasn’t even surprised, the headmistress, at first sasha praised me, then started scolding me, yes, the teachers don’t want to feel like idiots after his answers, yes, all the children agreed, yes, pythagorean pants are on all sides are equal, sashok says, no, pythagoras never wore pants at all. therefore the theorem is not true, all children they are cramming this periodic table, but remember , yes, that mendeleev dreamed of this table in a dream, sashok says, it’s not true, it’s not true, mendeleev first invented vodka, and after it he can dream about any nonsense, of course i’m worried, i hugged sashka so close to me , i say, listen, who are you?

such a son, well, in our family, i say , well, it’s not like there were geniuses, we didn’t even have people who didn’t drink, including me, he looked me so intently in the eyes, he said, okay, dad, i’ll fix it, can you imagine, he immediately invented some kind of microscopic nanorobot, threw it into my borscht, i didn’t even know, i swallowed this robot and it began to change all my insides... instead of beer i suddenly switched to kefir, instead of cigarettes socks with a straw, well, instead of a goat in dominoes, i’m ashamed to admit . to the queen of spades in the big theater, i already feel that i’m not me, this is some kind of fermented milk nerd, and, well, my friends are all offended at me, you know, because my wives poke me in the face too,

they set me up as an example, yes and at the same time, it means that they are all goats in dominoes, with fumes, and i have a library with adicalon. and the head is looking at the homies, the legs themselves lead in the other direction, i, i even know, i’m my neighbor, he, in short, works in the bullpen, he serves, i asked him, i say, listen, can you identify the guy in some- some kind of sanatorium for the difficult to educate , no problem, that’s it, they took sasha, camp, yes , i think, that’s it, they’ll turn him into a normal person, what do you think, in a week? the head of this colony for the hard to understand comes with this bouquet of flowers, with this bouquet, she says: thank you for your son, because, she says, our difficult teenagers, already on the third day , quietly switched from swearing to english, and what

is he doing with household appliances, passing by the washing machine, he cheated it a little , you can’t pass, i’m walking past the washing machine, he says to me: you need to change your socks, t-shirt , bed linen. yes, i go into the toilet, the tank speaks in a human voice, the toilet is clean, the face of the hostess, in the refrigerator, after eight i pull the handle, it closes itself, closes itself and says: attention, today you have already completely devoured your daily requirement of kilopotassium, 8:00, i not i know whether to cry or laugh, i, i think, sashok, what awaits you in life, either you, or you will come to your senses and become like everyone else, or the world

will change for you, and it will become a little better. hello, on the russia tv channel, irina rossius is in the studio and the main topic for this

hour. neither snow nor low clouds interfere, lanceta attacks ukrainian fortifications in any weather, near the work they are destroyed at a minimum. three american stryker armored personnel carriers. ukrainian military commissars have chosen a new way of searching for patriots. gas stations are blocked by shops, supermarkets, and hospitals.