a good one in several octaves, well , he graduated from this gitis, entered the operetta theater, worked there, found himself a wife there for life, then he went to work as a singer in the gems ensemble, and as a result he turned out to be the most popular parodist at that time, you know, he is, of course, a completely unique person, an amazing sense of humor, a parodist... such that the whole country simply adores him, because of his amazing charm, well, besides parody , he has been doing amazing monologues for a long time, i wrote about 10 issues for him, that’s all he performed them brilliantly, for which i am very grateful to him, an artist who is very funny on stage, and at the table he simply has no equal either in food or in humor, people's artist of russia, vladimir vinokur. “hello, what are you talking about, your wife

has understood me for now, you go to your mother, and let your mother do this for you, let her tell you how to behave further, that’s it, completely screw it up, fuck off, as if i have no one to call " am i an orphan, or what?" well now it's all hello zina, zina-zina, i came from the store, hello, who are you, what are you doing, you're exactly the same, volodka, look, i won’t call you for 2 years, you won’t find out anymore, why 2 years, i couldn’t? i'm sorry, what are you doing? who am i? i,

do i look like a married man? in, think about what you said? i was on a business trip abroad, how could i call you? i had a secret phone number, the interlocutor pays, why am i going to split you up for such money, what are you doing? where was i? i? i was in antarctica, and there were only penguins, zine, and the main thing there is that you can’t tell where the male is, where the female is, i almost lost my orientation, now look, set the table, came, i think, 2 years, whom i haven’t seen, zine, set the table with penguin meat, right in snow sauce, zine. with ice,

which is not very good, i wasn’t really looking forward to the call, you know what, zina, to tell you honestly, i didn’t really miss you either, i wasn’t trying to call you, i’m just not really looking forward to it, why, but the penguin won’t even bite you, i realized , tyrant, scoundrel, well, people have gone crazy that i have no one to call, alyonenok, hello, nenok, vovok, i haven’t been able to get through to you for a year and a half, why, i was fixing the phone, i fixed it right for you the first, who won’t be the second, you’re the only one, that’s where you went, got married, haven’t you come back yet? well, everyone thinks that

she’s for life, no, and i say that i’ve set the table, i think nenuska will come and tell about her husband, that you’re already telling him that he’s 2 meters, a boxer, yes, i also boxed as a child, well, you tell him and tell me what now? you’re telling me, you understand, he doesn’t have to know that you ’ll come to me, you’ll go to the quiet room, we’ll lie down, that is, we’ll sit, lying down, and then again the boxer , why, he hears everything, zin, you tell him, in they found a man in africa, 4 m tall, i'm kidding. i’m joking,

you fool, he hears me joking, well, let him hear, why can’t i joke on the phone, but my phone has been identified, no, well, thank god i am. i’m saying that you say hello, romeo, tell yours, not roma, you’re not juliet either, no, what, where, you don’t need to come to me, my apartment is small, i can barely fit myself in, lying down, it’s 2 m, you what, no, no, what, he ’ll give me a nose, but i don’t have a nose, and since i ’m calling you, what kind of nose do i have, no, not at the old address. what, i’m actually from now i’m calling voronezh, this is uzbekistan , no, no, no, no, no, i don’t want to see him, don’t give him the phone, you fool, bye, you bastard, listen, i still end up, one another, better,

what a horror -that i have no one to call, oh, now, olga, oh olga, i loved you! who is this? hello, hello, what kind of nikolai stepanovich are you? and - yes, he went himself, old bastard, i was already there, and 36 to you, well, the young bastard is grunting, olga, lives here, that you don’t want to talk to me, wait, but it’s none of your business, i also understand, bastard, listen, and she has second? there was a phone , everything was on the second line, olya, hello, hello, olya, finally, otherwise i’m calling, some old brat, picked up the phone, it seems like it’s different from the phone, you and here, i have two of yours,

why am i calling? no, i’m calling because who is it, my husband, this young bastard, and what about separately? and he’s the one, and you’re at work, uh -huh, well, that’s good, i’ve just set the table, i think i’ll pick you up from work, and we, remember, we then, oh, you can’t forget, why? 1.0 dollars, what? i borrowed it from you, hello? i can’t hear anything, hello, hello, i’m in the wrong place, hello, no volodya, my name is gavril, hello, but i didn’t call anyone, say hello to everyone, i got there, she’s such a fool, well, she got married with a thousand

dollars, i’ve been getting there all day, there’s one little man. just, anastasia, this is vladimir , remember , we met at the international center, six months ago, they gave me a phone number then, i was at the car wash with a butterfly, but not with a woman, with a butterfly who set the table, i’m waiting, i think where is my nasyusha, what 500 what? what, why am i 500 to you, then a thousand say, then 500, what am i what i have to, but in the evening, in an hour , hello, nastya, did you start working, why don’t you say

, i said, listen, and you, listen to me, for 500 dollars, i’ll come to you anywhere. yes, i’ll serve myself for 500 dollars, i understand, myself, yes, you have to wash, clean and cook for me for 500 dollars, he also announces another 500 dollars to me, you’d better get married like others, he’s a boxer, no, you don’t need him, otherwise i have friends 2 m, listen, you, you know that... stop talking to me like that, i don’t want to talk saved by women, for 100 dollars , please, that's it, the cake is inappropriate, that's it, bye, frozen, sold for money, generally simple, now i, come on, oh, now, little tick,

tick, wanted to put a tick, they didn't recognize, 3 month ago. remember, i came up, yes, not oblique, no, i’m straight, no, not a little time i’m not a midget, all my teeth. yes, i am without prosthetics, where is the prosthesis, on my leg, yes, i have both legs and my arms and no eyes, look in the mirror, i remember you at the bus stop, you have nothing at all, no teeth, no eye, that's it, that's it, the people are insolent, you bastard, listen, well, i'm just... this evening is just down the drain

, hello, masik, hello, this, this is your husband, vavasik, oh well, i thought of everything, i ’ll forgive you, to hell with myself, what do you mean, i didn’t ask for forgiveness, but i forgive, and i’m generous , you come, i set the table, i’m waiting , i didn’t set anyone, i didn’t invite anyone, i set the table for you, because there is no brighter person in the world , not only do i love you, yes, you can call a taxi, take a taxi, pay , i 'll give you a payday, kiss you, my love, i'm waiting, kiss you you know, the great artist of russia, vladimir

benakur. according to the results of audience voting, the favorite of our show is lelit. the mystery of lelit will be solved. the closer we are to the truth, the scarier i am to find out what really happened to oleg. this may be our last meeting because we almost proved it.

granddaughter of the gardener is now a snake, whether you love it or not, are you ready to become mine? ready to become yours forever, you need to learn love, just as you learn

to love, start with yourself, from the fragments of a broken dream you can create a new one, you decided, you need to go gold, sometimes the best way to get over someone is to see them again, what? everything in life is so crooked, tell me about your life. a fairy tale based on real events. zolotse. january 6 on rtr. you've never had such a talented class before. the stars will feel like schoolchildren again, we can. to choose the brightest teacher of the year, svetlana will have to become

a wire for a light bulb, i will help anyone whose light goes out, and by the way, i am a good guide, even difficult tasks can be done if there is a talented teacher nearby, 323, i know that this is it, i’m a two-spirited person, i don’t need to be scared, the country should know the name of the best, i wish success to this magnificent seven, bravo, cool topic, premiere today on rtr, let’s see, love is when.

there was such an artist, zinovi gert, you probably remember such a wonderful artist, he acted a lot, played a lot in the theater in puppet shows, he was once at some performance, coming out of there, he said, i liked it, but people with worse taste generally delighted, he also said, of course, a brilliant phrase, he said, if on tour there is at least

the slightest opportunity not to cheat on your wife, you must definitely take advantage of it. well, now i want to invite here to the stage an artist who goes on tour a lot, he is both a singer and a composer, i must say that he was once in the ensemble, funny guys, in general it was such a wonderful ensemble, from which a huge number of stars, well, i ’ll just list: vyacheslav molezhek, alexey glyzin, vyacheslav dobrynin, viktor chaika, if you know, there is such a composer, this one... the artist has not been working in this ensemble for a long time, he began to make his solo career along this path, he was so successful that today the whole country knows him and not only knows him, but also loves him, then he will say everything about himself in his songs, people's artist of russia, alexander buinov, i

want to invite the stage very beautiful girl, marina bree. this is an expert, to be or not to be, but we had it, we didn’t have it, we won’t suffer and whine, we have more important things to do, oh yes, come on, come on, come on! we will live, despite fortune, the predictions of the stars and the forecasts of doctors, we will argue with fate madly, there are as many opinions as there are people, it’s shakespeare’s, to be or not to be, but we had it, we didn’t, we won’t suffer and whine,

we have more important things to do, it’s ushira, to be or not to be. but we had it, we didn’t have it, we will not rot fate, we will warm our hearts with warmth, we will live, not invent troubles, not cultivate sadness, not look for dramas, we will argue for justice, in the name of our own, moscow does not believe in tears, this it’s already a spirit to be or not to be, but we had it, we didn’t have it, we won’t suffer and wash, we have more important things to do, it’s for the shakes, to be or not to be, but

we were not, we will not rot our fate. let us warm our hearts with warmth, come on, come on, come on, it’s already an experiment, to be or not to be, but we had it, we didn’t have it, we won’t suffer and wash, it’s more important that we have things to do. this is already a spiral to be or not to be, but we had it, we didn’t have it, we will not rot our fate, we will warm our hearts with warmth. we will not rot fate, we will be warm, we will warm hearts.

the actress who will now appear on stage is especially dear to me, because i took part in her fate, and she always takes part in my destiny, once, when she was young, i wrote her a parody number , which she performed with great success, then she finished with these parodies, never did them again, but began to perform for taxes, in the year ninety-eight we with misha zadornov, with my friend - they wrote to her on... a number after which she woke up really famous, since then she has performed a lot of new, very good numbers, sung wonderful

songs from the stage, because she also sings well, she i graduated from the faculty of musical comedy, but what about the number, which we wrote to her then, which helped her so much in her career, was called a letter to pancake clinton, now you probably understand that this is the honored artist of russia, elena stepanenko. oh, the woman said one single word: i want. and even though you’re cracking up, and the man is running around, smoking in the lodge

, groaning, hissing something, and you’re full of shit, completely crazy, and your legs are crooked, and here it’s only the second size, and how much he imagines himself, and my mother doesn’t love , both cynical and mercantile, only he already remembered what you want, he already clarified the color and size of it. a woman’s desire always grows faster than a man’s desire; if you want something, never demand or ask, just say, i want, i want. a bag made from the skin of the malayan hariwasik, these horiwasiks

are so cool, the guy needs to be kept in good shape, he has not yet woken up in the morning, he has his cornflower blue eyes, which between his eyebrows and pouches have not yet opened, and he should already feel guilty. that i didn’t buy you something yesterday, never talk about your whim in advance, your husband should find out and be amazed, you can take a stunned man with your bare hands, in the dead of night, quietly, kiss his bald spot, quietly, quietly, in his ear, say in a gentle voice: “wadzhik, papusik, babayok”! vadik, could you make one of my little dreams come true, i want,

i warn you about the value of the word, if you jumped from the balcony, roll down under the balcony, catch it, drag it back, and explain it again i want, if it’s a second time. he bent from the balcony , run down, catch him, drag him back and tell him what he didn’t listen to, he’ll run to the balcony for the third time, tie him to the chair, the chair to the radiator, girl, but when he gets tired of you jumping, he will take you by the hand and lead you where you say, your day will come, reconciliation, agreement, you try on, he must understand.

that even if he has enough of him now , when he sees the price, you will still save him, bring him back to life, he will definitely have to buy, but never say that without a mink coat you will freeze to death, you will tell him a way out, do not put pressure on your husband . but let me understand that next to a happy woman, in a mink coat, ah, even the smallest little man feels like a male, they are so they love to feel like males, men of an intelligent nature, but the world is ruled by foolish women. male

logic may be correct, but female logic is more interesting, look, every woman wants a new dress, yes, yes, yes, but even more she wants to fit into the old one, we are unpredictable, i recently told my husband, i want a gold ring, buy it, buy a gold ring... i want, i want, i bought a gold ring, i’m sitting, listening to kadyshev, a real man is the one who gets out of the car and says: honey, you parked perfectly, and this lexus was already crumpled, the cat was already dead, and

no one here needed this tree. yes , we are not perfect, but as they say , sharp edges are forgiven for a diamond, because a wife is a cook, a dishwasher, a technician , a laundress, a nurse, an educator, a teacher, a seamstress, an economist, an accountant, a psychologist, a lover, and the husband gets tired at work, guys , if your wife is in a bad mood, throw your wallet at her at a safe distance, and you women, allow yourself whims, it’s like a massage, a couple of whims and rested, but here you also need to know when to stop, otherwise she’s one idiot i asked my husband for a mink coat, half an hour later she said: i want boots made of mink, and after another 40 minutes she threw a scandal, i want mink

tights, “you know how it ended , he killed him, he was acquitted in court, they gave him a ticket to a sanatorium, and his ex-mother-in-law they were obliged to pay him alimony, but this is a tragedy, sometimes it can also be a comedy, a husband and wife had a fight, the wife says, that’s it, that’s it, pack your clothes and leave here, that’s it, that’s it, i don’t want anymore, he says, okay, go ahead, pack your things, went to the exit, but she didn’t let up, and so that you would suffer all your life, he..." says: listen to you you don’t understand, you just told me to leave, now you want me to stay with you? many people believe that a woman’s needs should correspond to a man’s capabilities, this is a very big mistake, a man should be able to jump just above his head.

and want this and wait for applause for a successful jump, and then how he will bow out, oh, my husband said that tonight he will do everything i want, it would be night soon, i want to see how he will glue wallpaper in the hallway, and at night i really want to snuggle up to his warm shoulder and listen to him quiet snoring or snoring, then hit him in the face with a slipper to... sleep peacefully next to him again , because there are no cold women, sometimes there is no point in melting, of course, there are stubborn men, but here the easiest way is hysterics, shed a tear, scream, but

that's not how you should shout. but you have to yell, like during childbirth, if you yell correctly for half an hour, then your husband can easily get boots and a fur coat to go to paris. without the help of a midwife, you know what an ideal couple looks like, the wife says: honey, go drink vodka, and he says: honey, i’m still i didn’t wash the floors, and what else do i want to say, guys? if you wake up a bell in a woman’s soul in time, she is yours, forever and ever , and will ring for you all her life. everything can be taken away from a person, money, apartment,

medals. but no one can take our love away from us. and we won’t take anything with us there. you can take it away. only what is here in your soul, the smile of a loved one, the laughter of a child, the mother’s lullaby that sang to you when you were sick, the wonderful smell that lives on the back of your grandson’s head, you can take away only the love given to our soul by the lord, the woman uttered one single word: i love, and the whole... the world is grateful. freezes.

i know it’s hard for you, but somehow we’ll have to live together, you know, well, i can’t load the dog on board without a certificate, well , the rules are, you understand, i’m a janitor, i’m on a business trip abroad, victor dobronrav, what was that? on the runway, i don’t know, the dog , in my opinion, pavel maikov, evgenia dmitrievna, no, well, this is some kind of zoo, vladimir ilyin, quietly, the eighteenth one is landing, now he’ll run, here, and no one else

doesn’t run to meet her, her owner flew to prague on that plane, but didn’t take her with him, vladimir simonov, the whole world should recognize this dog, what’s her name, palm tree, palm tree. today songs from the bottom of my heart, evening show by andrei malakhov, today on my mouth, i don’t have children, but i have two nephews, olya and mika,

we have a wonderful family, it seems to me that my girls have problems, anna banshchikova, why is everything like this? on january 7 at rtr, you have never had such a talented class before, the stars

will feel like schoolchildren again, can i choose the brightest teacher of the year, svetlana will have to become a wire for a light bulb, who should she cut off? light, i’ll shorten it, and by the way, i’m a good guide, i can handle even complex tasks if there’s a talented teacher nearby, 323, i know what it is, i’m a double-learner, i don’t need it. the country should know the name of the best, i wish success to this magnificent seven teachers, bravo, cool topic, premiere today on rtr, you know, i believe that the panmarenko brothers are our best parade dancers in the country, the best, why do i think so, because everyone parodists parody the voice, well, they imitate this... the voice, imitates the voice, exaggerates it somewhat, so that

there is a breed, and not just an imitation, but only a voice, and the ponomarenko brothers also managed to make a movement, like the person they gave birth to, and moreover, their faces became similar to their characters, when they made zhvanetskaya, the face became similar to zhvanetskaya, perky just poured out of perky, this is some kind of amazing ability, now it means we only have one of these brothers left. and he's trying to do his solo career, he continues what he and his brother worked together, and they themselves often wrote the lyrics, and today he will come out here on stage and demonstrate his skills, i understand that he is very used to working together with his brother, but no one this brother will not replace him, so i hope that he will have this career, and you and i, let’s help him, meet him, valery... now i want to chat with you, about

what? about the fact that i like to chat, in real life people like that are called bolobol or even worse, but here an artist of the spoken genre, and in general , according to statistics, a man pronounces about 3.00 words a day, sober, drunk... regardless of anything, even vocabulary, i was recently on a train, there was a woman talking on the phone, very loudly , her vocabulary is much smaller than that of the famous elochka the cannibal, but it was enough for her, it sounded like this: hello, hello, what are you doing, what are you doing, what is he doing? what are you talking about, and so on and on for 2 hours, that was quite enough, and again, according to the same

statistics, in fact we are talking only 5% words, think of the 9,500 superfluous, unnecessary and of all the spoken words that are true, alas, 30%, of which 50% are swear words, of which, in turn, 70 percent are fair, well, i feel you are confused, i am also confused, now there is such a huge flow of information from everywhere it’s going on, it’s hard not to get confused in it, i ’m watching tv, for example. not like normal people there turn on football, tv series, no, i constantly click from channel to channel, i wonder what’s there, what’s there, what’s there? it turns out so, sometimes so funny picture, well, in order not to be unfounded, i will demonstrate how i watch tv, let's go, malakhov is broadcast, our hero anatoly was a convinced teetotaler, he didn’t drink even on holidays, but recently he relapsed, began to go on regular binge drinking, all this happened, when he accidentally came across economic news. in order to somehow stabilize the falling standard of living,

the brother went to his sister, on horseback, to tell his sister, to borrow money, which immediately caused a collapse on the international currency exchanges. meanwhile, inflation continues to rise steadily, ahead of the most shocking hypotheses: do ghouls and ghouls really exist? of course yes. this is easy to verify by looking at german chancellor olaf scholz, who continues his anti-russian rhetoric, as they say, gorbatova can only be corrected by the transfer, live healthy, allergies, insomnia, neuroses, diarrhea, bedwetting, this is what can lead to, black friday, grandiose sale of snow on...

bloated with gases, the norwegian skier suddenly accelerates sharply, but it’s impossible to catch up with ours, mind you, without doping. not in able to adequately assess the situation, the president of the united states, who recently stated the following: my death, at the end of a needle, a needle in

an egg, an egg in a duck, a duck in almost all the news of the american media. tolerance in the west goes beyond all boundaries; representatives of the so-called lgbt community are planning to hold their processions in makhachkala, magas, nalchik and other cities of the hospitable caucasus. and throughout russia , nikita mikhalkov’s besagon will take place non-stop on a broad front. my friends, the world is going crazy, it's obviously. but if you are trying to understand what is happening around you and what to do next , without the great and mighty russian language, nothing will work out, like this, once

the great soviet physicist yakov zeldovich was asked to speak on a philosophical topic, and according to... the fact that she first appeared on the stage at the age of 4 , at the age of 4 she appeared on not just any stage, but on the stage of a large theater, this was her first role, at the age of 15 she entered the shchukin theater school, and at the age of 17 she starred in a film for the first time anyone, but stanislav

govarukhina, the film was called in the jazz style, she was there, by the way, in addition to playing a dramatic role, she also played the flute. because by that time she was already a professional flute player, well, then her fate developed, well , it’s hard to imagine much happier, because today she takes first place in the most prestigious television and vocal competitions, she hosts television shows, she has already starred in twenty films plays two main roles, you imagine, in the musical count orlov and the count of monte cristo in the theater. aperet, i i told you enough for you to greet her with long, prolonged and stormy applause. oglaya shillovskaya,

lived and be, chernikov for. he even hated the cat in the whole yard, but the song is not at all about how people didn’t get along with him, with whom... they say you’ll be unlucky if a black cat crosses the road, but for now, on the contrary, it’s only the black year that’s unlucky, all day in the yard vanity, chasing

a cat out of the way, just a complete song. not about how the yard was hunting for a cat, they say it will be unlucky if a black cat crosses the road, but so far, on the contrary, only the black year is unlucky, even with his cat a mile away, he came... to meet the cat, only the song is not at all about how purrs, a bell with a cat, saying... and you won’t be lucky if a black cat is on your way will pass, but for now it’s the other way around, only

the black year is unlucky, this cat from ears to tail was blacker than blackness itself, and the song, in general, about how offensive it is to be a black cat, they say no luck? the slice is black and i don’t see it, the slice is black and i don’t see it, no luck.”

and meow, this artist made himself, he was born in omsk, graduated from a technical university there, played in kvn, and he really made himself like that, because even while still a student, he himself learned english without any courses... so much that he participated in all-russian olympiads, and then he learned to sing from notes , which is generally an incomprehensible thing for me, although i studied at a music school and he didn’t, then he was a dj on the radio, then he came to moscow, lived in a hostel, wrote lyrics for various artists, but he understood in time what is better to write himself, and not some other people, he began to write texts for himself, act in programs, today he is one of the most sought-after... artists in our genre, moreover, he himself took an american play, made it funny himself in it plays, but can you

imagine, yes, so, to meet him, sergei drobotenko. i want to say that the internet is playing an increasingly important role in our lives, and i wrote the number on behalf of one girl, an ardent fan of social networks, let us greet this girl, oh girls, who said that only idiots sit on dating sites, not true? there are still idiots there, of course, it’s not easy to get to know each other, but it’s real , i’ll tell you my story, of course i

often hang out on social networks, my parents don’t like it, well, what can i do, each generation has its own interests, i have instagram, whatsapp has postagram, well i at least know the limit, otherwise some people post this, here one girl wrote: i won’t talk about the fact that my husband went on a business trip and i’m home alone, i won’t write about it, otherwise someone else will come in on chekhovo street, building 20, apartment 73, third entrance, fifth floor, but the door is not locked, but i once met a young man, well, we chatted for a couple of days, then he suggested, let ’s call on skype, and i just put a mask of burdock oil on my head, well, can you imagine? i say, let’s call, but without video, well, i kind of immediately want to show up in all my glory, makeup, hair.