news of the week, sunday, 20:00. the age of their patients is measured in hours; more than 600 operations are performed annually by doctors from the neonatal surgery department in irkutsk, where they help children from all over siberia and the far east. doctors save lives using the latest technology. report by alexey kelevro. we just wake up before feeding, bring a bottle. to determine with almost one hundred percent accuracy what is bothering the baby, solely by the timbre of his crying, a skill developed over decades, nursery nurses the ivano-motrionsky hospital is not just a nanny for these babies, we go to all the tests, feed the child, take care of him, sleep his butt there, everything is as usual, like everyone else , little patients are here, born prematurely, with pathologies and after operations. the system of work of our department is generally different from the work of ordinary departments, in which there is only one.

they come to us, have already been operated on, are already healthy for school, they recognize us on the street, and they talk and thank us. this baby does not yet have a name, there is a diagnosis, a congenital anomaly, with which causes obstruction of the esophagus, in addition to this, he also has problems with the aorta. a child can go to the operating table even in the first hours of life, so surgeons try to perform operations in a minimally invasive way, this is through small punctures in the body, thereby practically eliminating injury to the patient. he is

recovering faster. the child will not have any scars. this news makes all parents happy in preparation for the operation. dad lifts up his t-shirt and says: i also had pyloric fungus, i was operated on openly. dad has a large incision on the anterior abdominal wall. and when we gave the child to his parents after the operation, they tried for a long time to find a scar, there is no scar, and there won’t be one, because now these operations are performed using punctures. the newborn surgery center was opened in 1994, then it was a real breakthrough for everyone. equipment was purchased, but the most important thing that we managed to do this year was, of course, to recruit a staff of staff nurses, our own staff doctors, in general, to begin intensively surgical activities. almost 30 years later, the department remains one of the most advanced in the country. it was possible to improve health care indicators, perhaps this does not sound very romantic, but it is real that children stopped dying after operations such as cuttings, esophagus, and after.

with malformations of the anterior abdominal wall, and so on, and so on, and so on, that is, a system of assistance exists, other regions follow our example. irkutsk doctors accept children from almost all nearby regions, right up to vladivostok. colleagues from neighboring buryatia came not only to set up patient routing, but also to learn from the experience of irkutsk specialists. we want to consolidate our cooperation officially, so that it would not be the case that the patient himself was looking for some way out, how... to get there, so that there would be no such questions that the doctors somehow agreed privately, but so that it would be real cooperation of two clinics to provide affordable quality medical care to children. more than 600 operations per year are performed in the unique neonatal surgery department, of which about 80% minimally invasive, now it is a reference center for siberia and the far east. alexey kilaevret chuzhi, victor strotsky, vesti irkutsk region. more than fifty performances, tours in dozens of cities and... always

a full hall, the moscow provincial theater celebrates the round anniversary of 10 years since its foundation, as is customary on a birthday, they celebrate with guests, or rather with the audience, among them was anastasia litvinova . does the silhouette of the hairstyle remind you of anyone? this is elvis in general, yes, you can become elvis with lush black hair, or malvina, or in the nutcracker also turned into a pretty quickly when an experienced make-up artist got down to business. well, try to speak as you like, yes, and also find out where the false noses are stored, there is also a wig with an element of plastic makeup with a bald head, these are energetic people from the play. usually this entire theater kitchen is a closed area, but the provincial theater decided to celebrate its tenth anniversary in this way, together with the audience, by organizing an open day for them . it turns out to be the opposite of a full house, that is, the hall is empty, all the spectators are here behind the scenes they can look anywhere, even into the dressing room, for example, into the costume shop, can i come to you, let me in, hello. hello, hello, how

are you? excellent, today we have a big holiday, we are here this morning, as they say, the doors are open to everyone, at this time in the rehearsal hall anyone can practice stage speech, on... on weekdays the artistic director of the theater sergei bezrukov suggested. this is called accessibility. the theater is accessible to everyone. i believe that theater should not be limited to one thing. we are in development. accessible to everyone, it is about openness and a penetrating repertoire that includes classics. in the poster you can find a cherry orchard. uncle vanya,

by the way, is played by himself without any hands. why doesn't she understand me? her rhetoric, lazy morality. and musicals, modern plays, and even children's fairy tales. we have 50 performances, 14 of them for children, this is called family theater, when for everyone, most of the performance is adapted for visually impaired people, such productions are accompanied by tv commentary, this is when even without seeing you can understand what is happening in a scene by listening to scene descriptions through a special earphone. tell me, seryoga throws his arms up, falls back, the sergeant looks at him, and why did he fall, and of course, on the theater’s birthday, his audience for... can’t, the actors refused the usual skit and presented the guests with a modern performance filled with vivid monologues images dedicated to the history of the theater. anastasia letvinova, alena samoilova, lead. customs officers at the capital's vnukovo airport seized unusual luggage from a passenger,

who was heading to turkey. he tried to smuggle two kittens on board, presumably a rare african serval. these predators are endangered, about where they were collected for. the passenger tried to fly from moscow along with his living luggage to turkey; he did not have the necessary documents for transportation. the man provided veterinary passports and vaccination certificates, but there was no pedigree for the animals; he explained that he was taking representatives of the savana breed abroad to obtain an expert. animal quality assessment seized, now they are under the supervision of specialists, later they will be transferred to the lipetsk zoo, and if the examination confirms that these kittens are a rare species of african serval, then the owner may become involved in a criminal case, for smuggling he will face up to 7 years, well , there is a total of 10 servals, in

a nursery near moscow, predatory cats occupy an entire floor, prices for spotted exotics are staggering, servals from 100 thousand and above, this is for the savannah... a cross between a serval and an ordinary cat is asking for as much as 1.5 million. dad is a serval and mom is a cat who, well, let's just say... of acceptable breeds, which was able to give birth to a live kitten, she does not have the right to give birth to one in real life. but in both cases , the sales documents will most likely write that keeping a serval hybrid at home is prohibited. the growing demand for exotic animals is being satisfied by circumventing the law, because there is no punishment for such a pet. here is a serval walking along the cornice of a moscow five-story building, similar shots from chekhov. in case of trouble , it will be difficult to prove anything; according to the documents, this is an ordinary cat. breeders use a way around this situation and cross servals with other types of cats, as a result of which the animals turn out to be weakened, unhealthy , and when selling the animal, the consumer suffers,

who purchases an obviously low-quality animal. according to experts, the black market for exotic animals is a well-established and profitable business. someone, like servalov, breeds at home... parrots, monkeys are brought from africa and south america, reptiles and amphibians from southeast asia, most of the wild animals are on the lists of the cites convention, the international analogue of the red book. sell ​​this product legally it is almost impossible, so they sell animals via the internet, rely on the gullibility of buyers who are poorly informed, and often falsify documents. legal transportation of animals is possible only with an official certificate.

they say that sometimes live exotic animals are taken out in whole suitcases in order to calmly pass inspection, they are pumped full of special drugs, and wrapped in rags after such travels. parking lot, when it is planned to accept the first passengers, lyudmila shcherbakova found out. -30° and colder, new airport terminal a turkish company is building in magadan, many of the builders are also from turkey, but they say that they are already accustomed to the frosts, they are now only strengthening the metal structures on the roof outside, all other work is inside. i’ve been here for years already, tomorrow it’ll be a year since i’ve been here, well, it’s cold , well... mm, no matter how much this cold won’t bother us , because we’re almost used to the cold, we

constantly work in siberia with this team, so we’re almost used to it . this is the room for the future vip room, next to the medical room and business room, the walls are being installed here. on the first floor, where there will be check-in and baggage handling areas, preparing for plastering work. here all the walls are brickwork made of foam blocks. the airport terminal is being built taking into account seismic and, of course, climatic conditions. peculiarities of the region, everything is under the thermal contour , all work goes on after -30, it stops because we can’t use it, all our equipment will stop, well, we continue after the drop in temperature passes, the magadan air terminal building is already almost half built, work schedule here it’s about a month and a half ahead for the process to proceed quickly, constantly working with suppliers of materials, the entire parking lot will be... and it will be the largest in the region and is already ready for use.

all material is delivered here in advance. currently , about 120 cubic meters of penoplex are stored right at the entrance to the future terminal building. this is the material that will be used to insulate the roof. they plan to start work when it gets a little warmer, currently targeting february. currently there are 250 builders working at the site, in the spring there will be more than 400. with warming says the leader. the new airport terminal in magadan will be one of the most modern in russia; there are plans to build an automatic baggage handling system and jet bridges, as well as some architectural solutions and an interior. will be dedicated to vladimir vysotsky, whose name the airport bears. construction is planned to be completed at the end of 2024.

lenina sherbakov, rustam akhmetov, lead magadan. it shone brighter and sparkled with new colors. the illumination on the tv tower in st. petersburg has been completely changed. for this it was necessary to install almost 6,000 lamps about the work industrial climbers. report by artyom potter. industrial climbers in full equipment install lamps on a television tower, height. several tens of meters, the old lighting has already been completely removed, it has exhausted its service life, dismantling began in september, after a new lighting project was approved. designing and creating new lighting took a significant amount of time, because, well, st. petersburg is not like the second city in the country, yes, it is a unique city, there were a lot of options, each these options were studied in detail, there were technical limitations, there were also technologies... after dismantling the tower was painted and the anti-corrosion protection

of the metal structure was updated. according to the project , 5,724 lamps were installed on the openwork interlacing of beams, which are connected to the electrical network by 6 kilometers of wiring. previously , there were starboscopes from the ground to the 300 m mark that simply flickered with white light; they had no control. it will become brighter, more dynamic, more delicate, more elegant, in general, it will fully correspond. that easy one, that one cozy, that it turned out exactly like this, now any st. petersburg resident or guest of our city can personally verify, the new lighting is already functioning, the installers, as promised, made it in time before the new year holidays, but this is not the final version, the lighting will continue to be improved, the authors of the project promise many more surprises, the date of the official presentation has not yet been determined, by the way, while... the tower continued to broadcast its work on 20 tv channels and 27 radio stations. artyom potor,

sergey skripkin and maxim lapin, vesti petersburg. moscow panda katyusha has grown up and now it is not so easy to carry out a routine medical examination. i’ll now stretch it out a little 56. the fidget crawls around the playpen, grabbing onto everything, not only with its paws, but also with its teeth. so he tries to get up and run away. look. how it stands, look, our tail is still so black, i’ll check it here, and soon the baby will be taken out into a large enclosure, while the pavilion with the pandas is closed to the public , tied up, tied up. now we have all the information, rina rossius and my colleagues were with you, all news is always available on the media platform, look in the application or on website smotrim.ru. see you. artst cultural foundation presents.

the new year has turned, new growth remains, why, just like in childhood. again we are looking forward to santa claus, he will come handsomely, he will be happy, santa claus is blessed , we will spend the new year's holiday with him better than anyone else, and for the whole coming year to be merry, it is necessary

that only he be santa claus, he is only him, vinoku, vinoku, vinoku, i’m santa claus, linapur volodya, he’s known everyone for a long time, the audience is waiting for me, so you’ll have fun here, there’s no better way for santa claus, out of psychosis sclerosis, i continue to bring humor to people again, may the new year come and joy and success, and we will provide you with it in every room. loud laughter from adults and children, let's say to the banjour holiday, the best santa claus in the world is always your distilled state, we'll spend it together in a frying pan, all problems will be gone, we'll easily spin like a spinner on our fingers

, cunningly in the smoke, everything will be fine. we will certainly be able to fulfill all our wishes in any way. happy new year to you, friends, friends, our festive new year's performance was opened by the artists of the theater vladimir venokor at the head. my dears, i also want to congratulate you on the old new year, and you know, as people say , the new year is just a rehearsal, but the old new year is already a premiere, and they also say that

the old new year is like old worn out jeans, the new ones are more elegant, but the old ones are dearer and closer. with the same feeling, friends, i conceived this new year's program. your old friends, your favorite artists will perform there. each of them has prepared a nice gift for you. meet the scene with nikolai lukinsky is in a hurry to come out to you with his humorous souvenir. he says, new year is coming , you only have hockey and fishing on your mind, he says again, you need to buy gifts for everyone, i say: “calm down, calm down, my love, you don’t need to buy anything, we were given so many good things for last new year, i say , we will give it all away and

you don’t need to buy anything, i say, why do we need this creepy clay toad with horns?” "let's give it to someone, come on, let's give it to your mother, it will be more fun for the two of them, well, wife, of course, you now you’re done joking, but i see that she’s already got involved in this game, she takes a box of chocolates from this pile of gifts, she says, oh , a gorgeous box of chocolates, let ’s give it to the firs, i say, a great idea, the idea, i say, is brilliant, only you’re firs "they gave us these candies"? these candies have been traveling around the city for 40 years, the ants have already eaten half of the candies , there, i say, you see, they’re crawling, my wife says , they’re crawling strangely in threes and staggering, that’s

right, candies with cognac, she says, oh-oh, says, great stick, i don’t know who i gave it to you, come on, he says, let’s give this stick to yegorych, i say, well, you give it, yegorych is 70 years old. egorovich doesn’t play hockey , mine says, he does, i ’ve heard him say 100 times that he’s tired of his old stick, i continue to say, i say, what is this , i say, for i say, an iron ptyrodactel with a beak, mine says, himself you're a ptyrodactel, this is a stork, we'll give it to the makarovs, i say, brilliant, the makarovs have seven children, that's for him...

she says: look, fishnet tights, wow , she says, gorgeous tights, i say, i left it for myself, well, it’s a pain, but the size is too big , they won’t fit, to whom we’ll give sparkles or lights, i say, fedkin, well, fedka , he’s a poacher, i, he says, catches fish with nets, it’s just the fishnet tights fish supervision if he catches you, he will say, boss, what kind of fish, don’t you see, i’m washing my tights? mine says, look, he says, a piggy bank, this needs to be given to someone who has money , come on, he says, let’s give it to arkady ivanovich, he

boasted that he makes money at work, i say, your arkady ivanovich is a massage therapist he works at a sanatorium for the elderly, he turns his money around there, well , he turns him from his back to his stomach, this is what my little glass says, we’ll give irka a glass here, i say, your irka is like that. oh, she needs to give her an empty three-liter jar, so she will have a glass of liqueur, a comb is clear to gurgen, mine says, are you bald gurgen, i say, you saw his back, and then there is a box like this, on the box is written a set of turks for coffee , i say, give me this box, this one will definitely fit the irki, i ask my wife, i say, irhu turks are you interested? she says: irka, when she drinks , the turks are interested in her, and the egyptians, depending on where she is resting, she was in st. petersburg on an excursion, gave in a little, saw a monument

to peter i, climbed on a horse, says, man, let's go to you , he says, let's go , even the horse neighed, and then she says, look , she says, what a gorgeous mug it says donkey , who will we give it to, i say, well, this is vitka, vitka, vitka took out a loan at 900% per annum, wow, yes, i say , just a felt-tip pen, i ’ll correct one letter, now it’s a different matter, hearing, well, he says, books, more books , look, a book is the best gift, i say, it’s brilliant, that means we’ll hit irka, she’s drunk, she can’t say anything except “mu-mu,” 12 chairs by makarov, yes, they have a new apartment , they could use some new furniture , yes, we’ll give the attella to yegorych, yes, he

’s been saying for a long time that he wants it, but he doesn’t know how to get rid of his mother-in-law, can you imagine, my wife suddenly says to me: kolya, my name is kolya , if anyone doesn't know. the wife says: kolya, what are we going to give each other? well of course i don't i thought that we were talking about an old gift , i say, well, i’ll tell you honestly, i say, i ’ve been dreaming about a rubber boat for a long time, she says: what are you talking about, that’s 20 thousand, i say, we won’t buy anything new for each other either, let's give away what's left, so i'll take this chocolate bar for myself, thank you, my love, for the gift, but what about the last thing left for you? yes, a book, the best gift, a classic, dostoevsky, just about you,

yes, yes, yes. idiot, happy old new year, darling, of course, at first i was upset, upset, and then i thought, well, why, what a bad gift, a book is really the best gift, especially since i still have time before the old new year, i’ll read it in my spare time, i haven’t read this book for a long time, i open it, can you imagine? and there is 20,000 of my old stash , which i forgot about a long time ago, just enough for a rubber doll, oh, what did i say, a boat, yes, just enough for a rubber boat, people say correctly, a book, the best gift is old, new year . yes, choosing

a gift is a problem. one man was indignant, for the new year they gave me a lot of gifts, but no matter what box i open, there there is a corkscrew. so, my dears, let's move on. the famous film actor marlon brondo once remarked: a film star is a man sitting on... a sugar throne in the pouring rain and indeed the stars, both movie stars and pop stars, cannot be envied, because they constantly, as they say, without a break for lunch, have to to prove with their films and pop works that they are stars, right now, friends, you are waiting for a meeting with an artist who for many years both spectators, colleagues,

critics... consider a real star, your applause, people's artist of russia, klara novikova, oh, what is being done, what is being done, what is being done, there is no strength to withstand it, people are preparing for the holiday, they sit down at the festive table, and my neighbor, my neighbor, is leaving her husband. what, ha , she leaves her husband, you understand, but the holidays, yes, yes, no, it’s not that i worry much, i generally only worry when i stand on the scale naked in the bathroom, just think, i’m with them when i’m on there was a wedding, she

threw this bridal bouquet, and i... caught it, and now she throws her husband, who should catch him? she complains about him, she says this about him, listen, she says: he is a fool, he is a fool, she has no aspirations in life, she has no hobbies, she says, except for football, she says, at football he yells like that, she says that both teams lose out of horror. she says such nasty things about him all the time, about how she just doesn’t have the strength to stand this, what she says is true, she, she, she, she’s a fool, she’s a fool, well, i’d like to look at her, if only she was

like me to bed... the flu just put me to bed, yes, what, it’s fun, yes, it’s fun, this flu is all, everything, to itself, and there’s no one around, it ’s fun for you, oh, she says, such nasty things about him that it’s just, she says, he’s a fool, and his last name she has a stupid one, she says sticks , i say, what are you, palkina, i say, this is a nightmare for a woman, the last name is palkina, it’s a disaster, i think to myself, lord, if his last name was falkin, then my last name would be elkina, this is pure folklore, it’s immediately

possible. and i say, he complains about you too, he complains about you, he complains to me about you, he he says that if you put your hand on you like a victim, it keeps slipping off, there’s nothing for it to grab onto, but i, and i say, and i told him grisha, look at me, i’m a woman. luxurious, no matter where you put your hand on me, it won’t slip , it will get caught everywhere, i won’t let it slip, i won’t

, but she says, you know, she says, can you imagine, at work, he received the only bonus , 0%, i say, i got 0%, i say, it’s a disaster, can you imagine, a disaster, i got 0%, zero, but i think to myself, what a woman she is, what a woman she is, envious and greedy, he got zero pro... he got it, remember, he said, he chattered, he said that we would go to bali on vacation in the summer, i say, i remember, so, bonuses they didn’t give it, we

didn’t go, so here, you say, he got out, he got out, we sat for a whole month with the windows closed in the dark, curtains drawn, so that people would think that we were on... i won’t say a word, just you, she look, my hands are swollen and my eyes are bulging, oh, what can a woman and a man do in the dark, closed windows, for a whole month, god, she says, we

separated the old cereal from the moths. i said , wow, my god, i couldn’t imagine this, i imagined it so much that just this thought almost made me pregnant, he’s a fool, he goes into these, these, this is his mood and sits there, my god , i thought. “what kind of woman are you, god, if he left me in this depression, but i met him there with pies, she again, he’s a fool, she

keeps saying, he’s a fool, he’s a fool, oh my god, i’m so scared for him, for this..." grishka, i’m just scared, she, she, she says, i’ll tell you honestly, she says, i ’ll tell you honestly, in the sense of sex, listen, she says, in the sense of sex. she hears, do you hear me or are you just laughing , she says, he’s in the sense of dough, well, in the sense

of sex, dough is dough, dough, dough, i say , you know, i say dough, it also happens in different ways, from here let’s go more details. sometimes the dough lies, it lies, it lies, it gets up, it gets up, and you can’t handle it with any hands. and sometimes it falls, that’s all, just stretch it, she says, stretch it, don’t stretch it, and my shit was as dry as a cracker, and here i said everything i thought about her, and what a bad woman she was. and that her little boy

sat on this perch like a nightingale, shu-shu, and she told him everything, and that’s how they made peace, and that i’m alone, and that i’m alone again, you know, she’s such a wretch, then you have one thing i want something else. now you think about one thing, then about another, drive, just now i thought, i wanted some herring, i’ll go, some herrings, i’ll go, eat, this. yes, and there will be a holiday for me,

in pursuit of klara novikova’s mologist, i will tell you such a case, the woman in front in the new year, he writes a letter to santa claus: grandfather frost, last year i... asked you to give me a husband, now i ask you, take my husband from me and send me better tangerines, agree, friends, that a new year without songs is not a new year, everyone sings, but those who have neither voice nor hearing have particular success. another thing is professional competitions.

i become an alcoholic, it’s bad, alcohol is the enemy, i can’t sing, but i become an alcoholic, well, i sing, sing, but you have a defect, they won’t accept you. yes, yes, there is a problem, i can’t pronounce the letter th, which

letter? eh, yaga, well, baba yaga, well, what a yaga, uh bayana, yaga, what kind of accordion do you have, ah, i understand, come on, repeat, fir, fy.

well, naturally, everyone loves me, it’s okay, i rely on professional talent, oh, i personally rely on our facts, let’s get acquainted, i ’m yobeit, robert, yobe, yumkin, yumkin, what a yumkin, yumkin, huh? ryumkin, my ftaf, stas, yes, fevkovsky, fypkovsky, ash. kryshkovsky , very nice, me too, next for the casting, well, by god, come on, no, i, you were drinking me, that’s when i slept off, no, i have an idea, let’s do a duet in that one, well, i’ll

sing a letter about you r, and i'm whistling for you and sizzling, great, let's go. our duet is called, it’s called russian pra, that ry, words by matusovsky, music, music,

solovyov sedov, moscow region. wow, you knew how dear the evening near moscow is to me!

anything else? a river wave emerges from behind the island onto the river.

we are accepted, i'm so glad, so glad, and i'm like poison, when to go out to poison? well, that is, to bring people to your tastes, oh, what, correct the defects and come, thank you, goodbye, thank you, goodbye, when to go out to work, then, yes, to work, but the oil itself, fuck you... but i didn’t understand why they were laughing, but listen, i know the casting of humaists here is poisonous , maybe we’ll fuck there, that’s right, they’re all defective there, listen, what is

death for a vocalist is, for a comedian, the same thing, that... friends, this scene reminded me of the following dialogue: one singer asks a colleague: did you notice how my powerful voice filled the hall, that, yes, it filled it so much that... that the audience began to leave to make room for your voice. well, friends, are you joking? we laughed, now go ahead with the song, it will be performed by the inimitable elena vorobey, amazing

ballet by alla dukhova todes , the evening passed under a wave of a gentle breeze, i’m waiting for our meeting, you are my luxurious whim, there’s madness on my mind, a complete headache , a feeling is boiling with depth in one, i’m a chic type, how i want to take a break, follow you miracle , so that the soul touches, i am a gorgeous ticking lioness. then when will the delight happen, and at least some sign, always quickly, my mayor,

in a noisy restaurant, today i drink again, as on the screen, my glass of love to the bottom. i'm waiting to meet ours, i know for sure that you will come, right i'm sending chills through my body, i'm a gorgeous , quiet face, how i want to fall in love , watch you for a little while, so that the soul touches my soul, i'm a gorgeous, quiet face, well, when will the delight happen, give me at least some sign. braskina is my beacon, i’m

a gorgeous wild lioness, how i want to get into it, create a miracle for you, so that i can touch your soul. it’s a pity i’m a gorgeous wild lioness, well, when will this happen, and even if there is some sign, right now, my little guy, i’m a gorgeous girl.

i can’t live as a dependent person, what are you saying? you want to leave me, like with marinka , but there’s no way, we really need to break up, i love him, why aren’t you together, it doesn’t work out together, it doesn’t work out for me either, well, like tyra, it can’t get any worse, kolya, run, soon call, only you operate, hear, i beg, sklifosovsky, continuation, look at... nedelnik on rtr,

you are watching 100 to one, what is our task to open the whole board, we can handle it, if you ask, then with a hint, the name of which character everyone knows from pushkin’s works, and how much it will be 7,8, 7,8,8, who works a lot and speaks loudly, if you answer, then with humor, i chop oak, don’t pluck, problems with water, light, uh, housing and communal services, i don’t know what else, geometry, algebra, physics, chemistry are a set for headaches, don’t let me god now beep, if you win, then hurray, 100 to one. oops, tomorrow on rtr, cinema on weekends, for

getting to know each other. kolya will be a businessman, even before his time, you want to become a widow, look up, i’ll find a normal job, we’ll earn money, well , i understand, i’m in love, well , what’s next, i don’t even count, it’s so that you don’t be late for work, here you go, more try it on, i’ll have to go away for a week, to my grandma’s, good tan, high hopes, tomorrow at rtr, every time i cry, it’s very hard to remember, i stopped by. her house , sat down on the floor of a passer-by and said: i’ll stay here, the military had to be made aware that animals were simply dying there, donetsk was shelled very heavily, but we decided to spite the wedding, the main thing is that we are together, ours, ours don’t abandon our own, from monday to thursday on rtr. everything about the elections in russia, we

will tell you in detail, it’s not easy to understand them difficult, important, honestly convenient, what is a newsletter? my sister and i spent the whole day drawing the ballot, wrote down the candidates, didn’t forget mom and dad, put a lot of layers of protection in a very clever way, took colored markers, made watermarks, we’ll go vote with it, choose mom and dad, but mom said, “darling, we have the ballot.” you are beautiful, only digital counting, your ballot will not pass, because in russia ballots are marked better than money, they are very carefully protected, they have the most powerful protection, your trick will not work, people choose honestly, but my dad and i are very we are glad that we are your candidates, choosing in the country is free, important, honestly convenient,

now, my dears, i want. invite the artist, who is often called the “smile man,” to the stage; his colleagues even wrote a poem about him as a joke: “i smile, sometimes it ’s irrelevant, i don’t know the state of rest, i can’t help myself, my skull structure is like this , meet gennady vetrov. hello, friends, well, you know, today you can’t live without a smile, a smile adorns the face of any person, it’s not for nothing that there is a song on this topic, a smile will make everything brighter for an elephant, and even a little elephant, and the smiles of the audience for an artist are just a holiday, a gift, recently i had a man sitting in the front row who not only didn’t smile, he just

watched the entire concert from under his forehead, not a single light bulb was on on his face , i... fought with him the whole concert, he didn’t raise an eyebrow, and what was my surprise when he walked backstage into the thundering room, stood opposite me, looked for a long time, without blinking, i said, well, here, well that's what he says, nothing, gennady, i'm your biggest fan, no autograph i won’t leave, i say, you ’re being sarcastic, you never smiled once during the entire concert, he... what are you talking about, i laughed with internal laughter the whole concert, can you imagine, the whole hall will come with such internal laughers, with women, that’s a different story, recently at a concert, a woman laughed louder than the rest of the audience , though right across everyone, so everyone laughed it off, silence, i ’m telling something to one, and so on 10 times, i say, woman, well, it’s nice that you laugh, well, a little at the wrong time, he says gennady,

sorry, don’t pay attention, i’m doing my own thing, i just remember. my miniature will be on the topic of what has made me smile lately, yes it does, i’m watching on social networks this kind of conventional mini-series in which a young guy of 17-18 years old walks along the streets of the city and no matter what, with a camera and microphone, asking questions questions for young people and teenagers, high school students, school graduates on the topic of general outlook and school subjects, i caught one student and said: are you free today, yes, i am free in life, what do you need? he answer the question right away, without thinking, what was the name of alexander sergeevich pushkin’s father, well who knows, when this happened , who even remembers, why are you making such questions, 2 centuries ago, i think you’re asking what he says, listen carefully to the question, what was the name of alexander sergeevich pushkin’s father,

there are possible answers, it’s called. hello unified state examination, yes, he says, well, there are sergey, hannibal, kurmanbek and vitalik, he says, well, they are all kurmanbeg and not vitalik, hannibal, someone. i’m sure, i’m sure, why didn’t i go to school? she's such a girl, she's wandering down the street, fashionable, that's it, he caught her and said: i could answer the question right away, without thinking, she , come on, you can name it without thinking, the warmest atlantic current, she, golf thongs, it’s one thing when they answer like that on the street, it’s another thing when they answer like that in exams, a girl is studying to become a veterinarian , pulled out the ticket and shook her lungs, she was so nervous. the professor says: well , there’s no need to worry, well, it’s a good ticket, well, the internal structure of a pig, she says: well , that’s for you ha-ha, good, there’s a mess of this pig inside the drain, such disgusting,

professor, i taught, well, give me a hint, why start with a simple one, then i’ll speed up, hint, with a simple one, well, i’m hinting, start with the cecum, she, oh well, does she have sighted intestines? it’s one thing when they answer like that on the street, yes, in exams, but i had a suspicion that these were boys, maybe for a show, yes, art, and i decided to conduct an experiment on a living person, the neighbor from the second entrance, lenya, 17 years old, i say, lenya, he would answer a few questions, he says, for you, gentolyevich, any whim, i say, who is dzerzhinsky, he says, from our area. historical character dzerzhinsky dzerzhinsky dzerzhinsky now dzerzhinsky something is connected with weapons, i’m saying , or rather, wasn’t he the one

who invented the kalashnikov assault rifle? i’m saying while passing by who schwarzenegger is, he says, well, i know it’s either a terminator or a governor, well, that’s closer. vern, he says, fried mushrooms in cups , we went to a restaurant, dad says to the waiter , four zhelvern for the whole family, come on, i say, don’t chase, he’s inedible mushrooms, i say, what kind of oceans do you know, he says, and he that he’s not alone, i say, no, well, you start, and i’ll catch up, i say, well, pull yourself up , he’s quiet, he’s loud, i say, he’s indian,

mars snickers chocolate loaves, yes mars snickers, that’s basically just the moon for now, i i say lyon, what do you think, the moon revolves around the sun or the sun revolves around the moon, he says: gennady anatolyevich, now are times when anyone can spin like that, i say, what is it? paragraph, he says, surprise, i say, strong surprise, a full paragraph, i say, lyunya, i have a full paragraph from you, he says: “gennatovich, excuse me, my head is like a trash can, why should i

know all this, what are you asking, if i need to know something specifically, i’ll google, google, google and i’ll know, i say, i understand you, last question, go home, who are these people? karl marx, friedrich engels, pushkin, lerman?" so poets, i say, i’m sure he does , all six of them, i wrote this comment, poets have a difficult fate, thought lyokha, nicknamed the nit, it’s good that i don’t read books, that’s why i ’m always young, but before i go home, he he says, and i can take this piece of paper with questions, i say, why do you need it, i say, well, let’s meet. a couple of days, he says: “gennalivich, i’m in shock.” i say , what happened, my granny, i’m 72, i asked her all these questions of yours, i guessed everything, she didn’t have to google, she answered everything correctly, the first

time, i say, bah, what’s the trick, i say, what’s the secret, there is no secret about my granddaughters, i just studied in an ordinary soviet school. happy old new year, friends. my dears, we are all comedians, turn out the lights, are you tired of laughing or no, now, friends, you are waiting for a meeting with an artist, about whom one of his fans wrote, i watch with my mouth open, galtsev’s performance, for 3 days afterwards, my mouth won’t close, on stage. one of

your very, very favorite artists, yuri galsov and the artists of his theater. the whiskers have large eyes, and the woodpecker has a beak. at night the owl flies, the woodpecker hammers away. give the owl a mouse, and give the woodpecker a worm, but the owl will not live with the woodpecker.

family, but crucian carp will never live and shuka, pike is a solitary fish, crucian carp needs family, but the crucian carp will never live and will never live, and my million crucian, like an owl , is silent, if you think that it will kill the woodpeckers in the brendet, it will suddenly show or wave its tail again, and suddenly it will throw you into the cold, cover you with heat, sharp teeth suddenly he'll show you, he 'll wave his tail again, and suddenly he'll throw you into the cold, feeling hot.

this is calcium, this is calcium, this is not calcium, this is calcium, i’m telling you, this is calcium, this is calcium, and excuse me, i’m stunned, but you can, or you can, not mine, my wife, my wife you, i love you, my son you.

either i dreamed, or it was a real thing, i saw a moose in the forest, i thought i was delirious , i fell in love, fell out of love, everything was white , no, that’s how it is, no, no, no, that’s how it is, that’s how it is here, yes, yes, yes, yes, so, now it’s gush , it’s kaltsu, so it’s with me where, where, where and...

beth is spinning, flying, flying, we invite you to the festive new year’s light. according to the good old tradition, in the circle of old, good friends.

blue light today on rtr. in the extreme north-west of russia, beyond the arctic circle , there is a real treasure trove of nature, kola peninsula. sometimes called russian lapland, the nature of nakolsky is surprisingly diverse, including taiga, mountain ranges, and tundra, where

countless herds of reindeer roam. in the north, the kola peninsula is washed by the barintsevo sea. heated by the warm atlantic current, it does not freeze all year round. in the east and south, the peninsula is separated from the mainland by the ice-bound white sea. some scientists believe that the northern cradle of humanity, the legendary hyperborea, was located right here, on kola peninsula. from the first note, beauty , rapping, from the first phrase, a bird in your hands is better than a feather in one place, you swim shallowly, smiles, we recognize each of them, front,

profile, back of the head, bells, or something, we’ve been together since first grade , for everything we do, we are also responsible together, and in all this crap, i’m covering for you, the team, brake out of the car, run, the whole team. only on the platform we look, a special military operation requires large resources, our country has enough money for everything, new interviews with putin, which then will be discussed, but it’s another thing when you look with your own eyes, the sun, but you can see for yourself how cold it is, what an interesting transport you have, dmitry sergeevich, we are mastering the domestic lettering, cleaner. when it’s dangerous even during the day, but what is it like on the ice at night, that is , the president took a risk today, chukotka, tomatoes

1,600 rubles per kilogram, what was discussed at closed meetings, how to cope with anxiety, ugh, i wanted to say that well, damn it, it’s necessary damn, it was necessary very soon you will become very interested, let's go there we have a lebochka kristina, putin’s big trip. there is an aphorism: we don’t cling to the past, we push away from the past, because there is no

stronger point of support than the good things that happened in our lives. so let's remember a few new year's numbers from the andschlag golden fund. attention to the screen. guess who brought you a whole bunch of gifts, santa claus , hurray, hurray, grandfather, boy for the soul, boy, what are you doing, i can’t wait, grandfather morot has come, living grandfather, oh, for real, boy, what’s your name, vomik , through the high mountains. through the deep snow, through the fox tree, listen, why is your elevator

not working, and i turned it off, why is there a 24th floor, and what difference does it make to you, you flew to me on reindeer, come in, grandpa mares, come in, come in, sit down, rest, oh, grandfather, frost, grandfather, i've been waiting for you, i've been waiting for you. which one to start with? well, let’s go straight from the twenty -seventh, from the twenty-seventh, oh, poem number 27: hello, santa claus, cotton wool beard, you brought us gifts, stop, stop, stop, even i know. poem number 26: round dance

children were driving, jumping, galloping , santa claus was covered in the whole crowd, santa and grandfather frost, raising his legs, the bearded one is lying , there’s a flat on the floor, well done, i liked it, good, i tried, well, here’s a gift for you, wait, girl frost, wait, what a gift , what are you, well, where are you in a hurry, there are still 25 stitches left, and 18 more songs, 24 dances and 32 riddles, i need it, why did i go, wait, grandfather muros, where did you go? if you don’t listen, you won’t leave, listen, the next poem, i

composed it myself about our tank from apartment 128, how interesting? our tanya is crying loudly, she ate a basketball, tanya’s mother is also crying, she didn’t believe that she liked meat, boy, do you even understand what this poem is about, of course, about the fact that you can’t pick up or eat anything on the street, well, great, that’s it i'm going, wait, grandpa. and the riddles , you haven’t solved the riddles yet, grandpa, it’s more confusing, they’re not necessary , i have 32 more riddles, serve first, he left his grandmother and left his grandfather, well, the bun is wrong, this is the brain, vova, i need to leave, i still need to go around 20 apartments,

baby moreau, if you don’t want to tell me riddles , we’ll sing songs, i have 18 more songs that i came up with, i’ll still sing, we won’t sing songs, we’ll play a game, i ’ll sing the beginning of the song, and you’ll sing the end, come on, three, four, a christmas tree was born below , end, end, end, santa claus, don’t you understand, i’m telling you, i’ll sing the beginning of the song, and you continue, sit down. attentive, well, i need another song, come on, tell me, little snow maiden, where you have been, tell me, camilla, how are you, what can i say, guys, it was a bad day, i was ubatik, so that he, those him, she was sick, well, it’s such

a shame that okay, okay, i persuaded her. well , thank god, now you will start the song, and i will continue, come on, i’m ready, it’s starting, come on, you, yes, come on faster, the horse is carrying the wood, the little man is in the wood, he chopped up our christmas tree, right to the very bottom. the police arrived, twisted the peasant, and there’s no need to touch the christmas trees, where the park is in the dna, hurray , hurray, hurray, it worked, it turned out, it turned out, well done, well done, and now i have a surprise for you, now i

’ll sing you my very, very favorite song i'll dance my very favorite tank. oh, okay, yes, just turn away, of course, turn away, santa claus, don’t peek, yes, calmly, don’t peek, fourth floor, so now start playing, turn around, go , pompira, put it up, save it, christam bogo, please let go , please, i still need to go to 20 apartments, i still need to go to the seventeenth apartment, to the seventeenth, what about sashka petrov, to him rodimov, well, of course, i ’ll let you go to sashka, because sashka is a good boy,

he’s even better than me , i prepared 27 poems for you. and sashka 184, i don’t want where are you going get away, it’s new year, i don’t want, i want, save, save, hello, hello, sanya, quickly block the entrance, santa claus is leaving on the balconies, come on, i’m catching up from above, sanya, hold him, sanya! gentlemen, you won’t believe it, cats also undergo a general blood test, they give out the same form as for people,

including the first and last name column, my owner didn’t know how to fill it out correctly. just in case, i wrote down my last name, so i finally found out my full name. gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself. ryzhik dubovitsky. and didn’t wait, you’re probably wondering where we are we met, at her work, yes, so it’s an office romance, it wasn’t difficult to charm her, you see, i’m irresistible, but it was immediately clear that my aunt was pining, she made fun of her, but at some point i fell in love with her... really, when i saw her

dancing, she was singing, from the outside it might have seemed that she was taking revenge on her partner for something, she didn’t need music, and she didn’t get into it, i , too, once... foolishly, invited her to tango, since then i’ve been walking only on my hind legs, my friends, you’re probably wondering in what we are in a relationship now, yes, we live together, i know, i know, i’m not the only one with her, there are seven of us, like fairy tales.

this is when she pats you behind the ears before going to bed, you curl up into a ball, touch her cheek, she will say before going to bed, god, why do i need men, you are probably wondering what she is like in life, they say that regina is coming... no completely in step with technology, what can i say, last year

the russian paging company served one subscriber, but now, guys, you won’t believe it, she went online here, we thought she wouldn’t come back, we searched all the houses. she has an assistant , viktor semyonovich, and so vitya, until recently, thought that the last word in technology that regina had mastered was the typewriter, then she calls him on his mobile, and for regina this is already a feat and says: uh, vitya, post it in your facebook account in your youtube profile, a link from my instagram, i sent it to you via whatsapp. vitya was just driving, well, then it was like a song, oh, gentlemen,

gentlemen, i completely forgot to say why i’m here today, to congratulate regina on her day birth. just imagine, the whole family is running around, someone is whittling salads, someone is decorating a christmas tree, and this is also stated, hello, dad, new year, i didn’t come empty-handed, i want everything to be like people’s, they say , that a girl’s best friend is a diamond, so i want to give it to her, if i hope she will understand, she will appreciate that for the sake of it i was undernourished for a very long time,

thank you. you know, regina, she's crazy, she's married to your work, every time she strokes me before bed, i understand if she's happy your family life or not, so i realized this thing, guys, real creativity is always against the grain. so

you do it, you come up with the real thing, and i’ll be patient, it doesn’t hurt me , she was happy, i’m absolutely healthy, the poisoner is a dick, i’m visiting you or forever , you’re coming back, i thought, ah...

spasovsky, you we didn’t want to harm him, we wanted to, but it’s better never to tell anyone about it, continuation, we ’ll watch the show on monday on rtr! how much do you have to love a person in order to take and come to him, what is a strong family built on? the question is certainly interesting, on love , what beautiful girls, i thought, he knows how to do everything, this is what a person lives for, it should have a continuation, what is a good conversation based on trust, i am so contradictory, i have wisdom and

cunning. the eye is burning, that is, well, if you noticed, even two, even two, when everyone is at home, on sundays on rtr, the most cruel aristocrat in history, i am the power here, i... ay, bloody gentlemen and other historical series, only on the platform let's see, look, i still have pain here, here it hurts, here it hurts, this disease never manifests itself acutely, it creeps up gradually, to be healthy, the most important thing is to remember the principle of 3p. this, by the way,

has been officially proven. proper nutrition, how to properly eat stress? we need to choose those foods that are not harmful to eat , the right medications, run to the doctor , medicine is like crutches for you, and the right habits, but shouldn’t we slap some kefir, and i’m not afraid of this word, our health, and the most important thing on monday rtr. so, friends, before introducing you to the next participant in our performance, i want to tell you a story that i heard from the pop artist yuri grigoriev. many years ago, he, being an entertainer, decided

to enter the theater. an artist who for many years has been proving with every performance that the stage is truly high art, on stage svetlana razhkova, a friend from school

came to see me here, her name is eleanor, i forgot that, well, because she is now leonura, at school she was zinka . and then marry an oligarch she came out, she changed everything about herself all year , her breasts are her figure, her face, her whole name, well, such a fifa now drives a pink porsche all the time in a shubi, so she looked at my hands like that for a long time, like this, then she says luda luda, don’t be offended. well, it’s time for you to get a pedicure on your hands, but i didn’t understand, these are hands like hands, well, in general, i generally want my hands to grow like in the advertisement , these are these little ridges, these are these, these are zagribuki,

if i had these zagribuki, i would dig potatoes without a shovel, this i would have turned to a dacha, like theirs... we have neighbors here, tolik and vera, well , they told me, that means they say, we came to the city, so why not wash right away, well, the first thing we did was wash vera, they washed vera for an hour and a half, yes

, but they washed away the faith, it turned out, it was just a little, when they washed away a little, it turned out, it turned out that it was a dog, their ball, and most importantly and... well, well, as you notice, well, as you notice, when the ball did everything just a little, on all the cars were barking, ileonura told me that you are such a fool, look at yourself, what are you doing? i put it on, and what happened was i i put it on, i’m at the dacha, i generally, i don’t bother about clothes at all, well, well, i put on what i have, i walked around in a robe for 2 months, then i looked at it like this, oh, and

this is a bag from- under the potatoes, she tells me the main thing, you are sick, you understand that you are sick, you need to see a doctor, you need to be treated, you need to write a diagnosis in your medical record, give a brain, but don’t treat me, don’t do this, i don’t have any pain at all at the dacha, they pulled such a splinter out of my leg here, it’s us with it 2 the day they heated the bathhouse, well, dear people, well, can i just for a second, i’ll become as i’m used to, i’ll unload this on my lower back. oh , oh, i’d stand like this, i’d stand like this all my life, it’s hard to see, yes, it’s bad, okay, okay

, i’ll stand a little, straight, here i am, that means i went to the city, i had to go to the mfc, and i’m going down the street, there was a guy coming towards me, and i, the main thing was i looked at him for a long time, for some reason he was walking straight at me like that, like a storm, i thought maybe he was an acquaintance, i looked, no, well no, i don’t know him, i see it for the first time, and it’s so decent, such a guy, i know this, in a suit, in a hat , so clean, and that means he saw me closer, he spread his arms all over the street like that , he said, oh, hello, i didn’t expect it, i said, they’re standing there, move away by one and a half meters, maybe you have covid, maybe you’re some kind of sick... dumped in puddles, mud, dirt, threw this on yourself,

put all this on, then bent down and said: you won’t recognize it, i took a closer look, oh my, gennady petrovich, gennady petrovich, academician, neighbor, on the left, this guy, i never had any problems with him, not that, that we have such an infection with... tanka lives on the right, she has such a snake, the main thing is that she begged me for a bucket of agurs, well, i told her to pickle, i gave her the agurs, she salted them, and then they tell me , she runs around all the yards and says that you are a bad housewife, you watered the cucumbers poorly, so your cucumbers have bitter butts, my cucumbers

have bitter butts, yes, i shook her like a hot water bottle, pieces of her flew in different directions, yes i she was bitten five times in the very place where she was grieving near my cucumbers, and by the way, tanka’s ass is also this... it’s not sugary, between us, everyone in the village calls her bagamolikha, that’s just what they call her, tanka is a bagamoliha, it’s not because she prays to god, it’s not because tanka leads to to myself... a guy

is dying at his dacha during the season, but not like me, we’ve been living with mine for 20 years, soul to soul, he loves the dacha too, he got involved with these bees, i immediately told him, don’t, the neighbors will be against it, he says, i want everything, well, i bought it and installed it, the first thing has begun... petrovna she galloped up, she lives three houses away from us, she opened her mouth like that, screaming, i myself saw how these bees of yours devour our nectar, pollinate your peonies, i’ll poison them, i say, tsits, otherwise i ’ll tear out your son’s sting, because he pollinates our marinka, eleon is outside. she says, you haven’t seen anything in your life, you

haven’t even had a single vacation like a human being, i say, how human is that, she says, well, like me in the bahamas, i would like to rest, sunbathe, well, at least sunbathe here in the garden, lie down, i lay down, i was resting, oh, how good i am i rested, for a long, long time, i rested for about 40 seconds , and then i already felt a hand ... a school friend, well, i think it’s clear, i say , elenora, it’s you, she says, no, it’s me, zinka, i’m saying, what happened,

she says, sanctions have been imposed on russia, my oligarch’s accounts have been frozen in england, there is no money, i don’t know how we will live, there’s nothing to eat, i don’t even have anything to pump up my lips, i can’t even pump up my lips. they droop below the pubic area, she’s crying the phone, i say: that’s it, stop crying, don’t think about bad things, don’t think about those lips at all, we have bees, you won’t die of hunger, a plot of land next to us is selling a good six acres, can you imagine, zinka, six acres. can you imagine how many rows you can make there, plant potatoes, and

well, take it, it’s inexpensive, one pink porsche. she says: let’s take it, i say: thank god, now i’ll run to negotiate. so, my dears, our new year's marathon continues, right now two surprises await you. the first is that as soon as... the song starts, you all start singing it along with the singer, the second surprise is that for many years ago, it was first performed by the legendary singer eduard khil, and today this song will be performed by his grandson, eduard khil, jr.

at the edge of the forest, there was winter in the hut, on the snow, on a birch tub, she twisted yarn , wove canvases, rolled ice bridges over the rivers , an ice table, the door creaking behind the rough scene, the prickly darkness, as you step over the threshold, all blowing, and from the windows the threshold is blue-blue,

the ceiling is icy, the door is squeaky and sewn up with a simashka wall. as soon as you step over the threshold , there is frost everywhere, and from the windows the threshold is blue, blue, i went hunting, lost silver, planted a thin moon, a crystal bucket, and fur coats for the trees.

tea, as you step over the threshold everywhere, and from the windows the threshold is blue, blue, the ceiling is icy , the door is creaky, behind a rough wall, the topic is prickly, as you step over the threshold everywhere, and from the windows the threshold, blue, blue, friends, there is such a sign, for the new year to be a success, you need to greet it with laughter, with our artists, even if you want to, you won’t

get bored, with spectators like you, my dears, you won’t be bored either, so... at the concert, one of the spectators even threatened, this is what he wrote: regin, in a sold-out house, if he’s not a comedian, he’s a figure, i always enjoy their humor, but if you don’t show a distiller in the year of the dragon, then i won’t watch a sold-out show, never again, friends, what a sell-out without a distiller, maestro, where are you? the audience is waiting, they can’t wait for you, on stage, people’s artist of russia, vladimir nenakun, my wife and i live in a multi-storey building, and the house seems decent, but

you know, it feels like all the neighbors are idiots. that's how i live among them, the only normal one, but no, well, my neighbor asked, he says, sit with your daughter, i need to go there, well , to the store, well, what should i do, i have two fingers on the asphalt, no, seriously, i went to sit, so, well, well, we had a fun time, played with the girl in the box. ku, i hid in the closet and said, ku-ku, she found me, joy, full pants, that’s not a neighbor. came back, and i went home, i came, once , there was no phone, i thought, well, i guess i went

, i rang the doorbell, a man opened it, well, 2 m, well, it looks like my husband is back, i tell him, hi, listen, it’s me there in your bedroom closet? i didn’t leave my phone number, he said, what are you doing? the bug whispers, i say: but you weren’t at home, and your wife asked for it, we were playing puck with the baby, you know, i didn’t have time to finish, two teeth, two. and it’s like this with me all the time, they’re beating me, my wife loves this song very much, let’s say goodbye, well

, we’re having a small event there at home, they’ve covered it in the evening, and i made an appointment with the radio before that, that’s how it’s supposed to be, and exactly at 9 we are sitting at the table, i turn it on, and the announcer says: he asked me, he says, let’s go to the cemetery, well, water the flowers there for my father-in-law, tidy up everything, why should i, i’m here at the cemetery

i took her with pleasure, i took her, i drove, she apparently swayed a little, she fell asleep, the inspector stopped her and said, where are we rushing? we violate, and i say, i’m taking my mother-in-law to the cemetery , he looked, she’s lying like that, he says that ’s not human, it’s the last way, i say what the last one is, i take her once a month, she comes back all the time, he says: zombie , well, then the mother-in-law woke up, she started screaming, fools

, you know, the young lieutenant, fainted, bang, i hit him on the cheeks, bang, i say, wake up, lieutenant, let me go, he’s still stopping by for flowers, i hit him cheeks, well, palm, and he i woke up and punched me. bang, it’s not him you’re all around, i, at our work, we collected money from this, it’s our boss’s birthday, so they chipped in, bought her a dog hat, no, well, it’s a decent hat, so they say: vaska, you, he says , funny, come in first, congratulate me so that... well, with a joke, but you don’t need to ask me for a long time, i took the hat, put it back just like that,

he finds the door, i go in and make such a face and say: alla mikhailovna, you have a scribe, well how did i know that she was expecting a commission from the tax office? they locked the entire accounting department, i opened the door they propped it up and started tearing up the pieces of paper, but then, when they realized what they were talking about, they came up with this hat made from an arctic fox. they pulled it up to my tailbone, look , there’s a cat living in our house, well, he’s so voluptuous , fat, he looks like me, well, lenka took it, she also named him vasily petrovich, not seriously, and that means, well, everything is fine, but he just ran away, well,

the month of march has gone for a walk. well, mine went to look for him, lenka, a neighbor comes towards me and says: “lena, hello, how is vasily petrovich doing?” lenka says: “your vasily petrovich has escaped.” neighbor says: “lord, how is it possible, maybe you offended him?” len says: “i offended him, he rolls around like cheese in butter, lives, eats, drinks.” the corners are marked, i recently pooped under the sofa, i’m directly facing it with my muzzle , i’ve wanted to castrate him for a long time, the neighbor says: oh, helen, although you need to be tougher with them, with men, but i don’t know anything, i’m leaving

work, i’m in a good mood, i’m going , neighbor towards me. “hello, vasily petrovich, your wife was looking for you, i pass by, she follows, i ran into the cable, go, now they ’re castrating you, no, well, there are only idiots around, i’m here i helped one guy build a bathhouse, well, he’s a normal business guy, they built it, but how..." i need to remind him of something, i call and say: seryoga, where is the money? he says , don’t worry, we’ll break through, i say, he’s a busy man , my driver will come to you, bring an envelope, the driver's last name is crap , he will come in a white peugeot, well, i went out, i look,

there are five cars, all white, and which one is a dude, i have no idea, i approached the first one, i say, hi, open up, well, she let the cat go, i say, the wicked remover, he says, man, haven’t you received it for a long time? i say: yes, i went out for this, so he got out of the car, i say: well, you ’re a lousy driver, you’ve tied up the money, but he brought it all to me with one blow, not just idiots around, well, the neighbor somehow lost her keys,

okay, i lost it, so who? “vasechka, you can climb over the balconies nearby, but they’ll piss on two of my fingers , i just climbed up, she says, stop, my husband is lying there drunk, you know, if he wakes up, it will definitely kill him, and you put on your wife’s lenkin , put on a robe, and climbed over, i’m walking, i’m already approaching the door.” and this one i woke up, the bastard, came up from behind , hugged me like that, and said, lenka, hi, i missed you, your fool is back at work, well , you need to know me, i’m like this, i’m ku

men, can i see your boner? i say woman. “sorry for not even asking for your name, i’m so impatient, she says, i don’t care about your name, i go to apartments,

check everyone’s boners, write down complaints, i say, how is it with others, she says, a complete breakdown of the system, i say, yes, i was in a slump in the morning, now it’s like i’m getting up, she says, i’ll take a long time to persuade, i have to look, touch, if it’s warm, okay, cold, we’ll change it, woman.

i see, for the first time, how many idiots there are in our house, how am i the only normal one living among them, after vladimir’s number. i want to quote this aphorism: it is better to remain silent and be considered an idiot than to speak up and dispel all doubts.

friends, and now i want to ask you, how are you feeling? now it will be even better, because the stage is coming out again, but with a song. prices hurt like thorns in a forest, where can i find a man to help me buy with a window display? this little thing, a lot of valuable jewelry for solid offerings, but... believe that they are more expensive, although the little thing is a little small, it ’s a tricarat diamond, what should i do, if the taste is good, my beloved, my beloved, well,

give me a fairy tale, why talk about money when your eyes are shining, my beloved, my kitten, don’t threaten me. with a pen, even if it’s stupid , even if it’s a fool, but i love things so much, i’ll be drawn to something new, precious and cheap , wooden, and made of fish, flying, yes, yes, yes, and i’ll tell you, by the way, not to have what if you want, it’s very unhealthy, don’t close your eyes, if you buy a cute little thing secretly from your husband, every

woman knows that only what is useless, for some reason, warms the soul, beloved, beloved, give it to me. i'm bored, why talk about money when my eyes are shining, my beloved kitten, don't steal my hand, even if you're stupid, even if you're a fool, but i love things so much, huh? well, don’t threaten me with your pen, even if you’re stupid, even if you’re a fool, that’s how i love things!

cinema on weekends for meeting kolya a businessman will be a plus ahead of time in come on if you want to put your nose up, i’ll find a normal job, we’ll earn some money, well, i understand, i’m in love, natalya, what... what

else shouldn’t be taken into account, it’s so that you’re not late for work, here’s this, please try it on, i’ll have to go away for a week with my grandmother, a good tan, high hopes , tomorrow at rtr, every time i cry, it’s very hard to remember, i went into my house, sat down on the floor of a passer-by and said, i’ll stay here, the military had to be informed that it’s just there - the animals are simply dying, the ton was shelled very hard, but we decided against evil to be in a wedding, the main thing is that we are together, ours, ours don’t abandon theirs, from monday to thursday on rtr, friends, it seems to me that you like the concert, or maybe we

should wrap it up, well, the desire of the audience is the law for us , our artists try to perform in such a way that you, my dears, have enough good mood for the whole year, but unfortunately, there are times when someone spoils our mood, spoils us very much, that’s how to survive it, now it will give you advice writer, satirist, alexey shchoglov! we have a new manager in our house company, you know, they are landscaping the yard, doing renovations in the entrances, and today they sent me a letter in a beautiful holiday envelope, so let's see, wow, a postcard, dear alexey, i'm dear, it's nice, we congratulate you on the new year, how attentive .

thank you, we wish you good health, great happiness, and also urgently pay 52,000 rubles for the services provided. what, are you completely crazy there? so what is it? 3,000 for heating. what kind of heating? yesterday my cat climbed onto the radiator to warm up and froze. i him barely tore it off. i used to meow like that. meow , meow, now, meow, meow, well , at least you saved on the veterinarian, but what is it, garbage removal is 4,000, i don’t understand, you take it out in limousines with an orchestra, take you around the city on a tour, 3,600 for landscaping the yard, oh yes, you landscaped it, there was a normal asphalt path, you... broke it down, laid tiles.

i have only two questions: why is the tile black, why does it have the inscription “we remember, we grieve” on it. “i understand that you saved, but not to the same extent: 3,000 for a new swing, yeah, i already paid 2,500 for the old ones, where did you get them, i was rocking the child , the seat came off, the child flew into the open balcony on the third floor, i got up, the neighbor opened the door, and he himself has three children, i say, excuse me, but one of..." the neighbor his eyes widened and he said: i’ve had suspicions about my wife for a long time. i say, your wife has nothing to do with it, it’s all because of the swing, we were swinging and accidentally got knocked up.