and why hasn’t it gone rotten in six months? no, well , of course there is a smell, but we serve it like a herring under a fur coat, but under a fur coat it doesn’t smell, almost, well, okay, what else was in the victim’s order? the caviar was red, what was left after the anniversary? yes no, what? the one after the anniversary was already a month ago, how did it end, but this is fresh, where did it come from? well, you yourself, two weeks ago you took a bucket of caviar from some dealer for a liter of vodka, and so half the bucket has already gone, and the rest is in the basement, why in the basement, and not in the refrigerators, well, in the basement is cool, and the refrigerator is full.

what will he score on you? herring under a fur coat and ham from your anniversary. bluesy, why did you stop with your ham? better tell me what you poisoned your client with? pavlych fell, no, i’m half a finger, not me, me, or maybe olivier salad, where did we get it from? well, as usual. from the hypermarket, well, we always buy expired salad from them at half price, but we also add ham from your anniversary, but what is it, sinichkino, so tell me, he took it hot? yes, chicken kiev, here you go what are they made from, natural chicken meat and the best butter.

well, this is what it says on our menu, well, in fact , in fact, they are based on bread and ham from your anniversary, but what about such a tit, so tell me the most important thing, he is this client in general, well, he paid. yes, that’s the whole point, when he ate everything, i brought him the bill, and he looked there and lost consciousness, indignant, even at that moment the ham from your anniversary flashed before my eyes, how much did he eat? , under persons

and now he’s lying there and not paying, you bastard, you know, sinichkino, everything is clear to me , he couldn’t have been poisoned, yes, well, there’s nothing here to poison himself, yes, well, i’ve lost my awareness, why, well, because, why, because age is taking its toll, by the way, how old is he.

immediately that you count him out, well, and then, as usual, take him from here, where, across the road, to the cheburechnaya, let him come to his senses there, how do you work with him? okay, we're working with him. proficiency test passed. we have serious cases, we need an operating room team. the stress test has been passed. what's idle? are you

happy? and there's a new test ahead. not visible yet nothing, no one even guesses. to the touch. yes. wow, this is cool, why does everyone in this department do whatever they want? sklefosovsky, on monday on rtr, and we’ll be watching new episodes soon. an urgent meeting with the best team. russia, traditional. technological, original , open, great, so different, but dear to everyone, all of russia is before your eyes , come to the international exhibition forum

russia, we gathered about ten people in the first group, there were short calls, we are going. to donetsk, you are with us, yes, when my soldiers came running, they carried me, another shelling began, they laid me down, lay on top of me, one bullet is still in me, and this, let’s say, is my trophy, we had a famine then, here comes my grandmother, she herself is hungry, but she takes this kurba to the shelters, says: baby, feed the dogs, lend a helping hand, olga and i decided that we need to take the kids in with us... i came across such people who care. support with a word. hello, dear soldier. and in fact, without your help, only ours can. honor and praise to you. what you are doing is simply

amazing. from monday to thursday. on rtr. no life. we need to go to the capital. what is this? at the mine, it seems to have rushed, as if in a mine, misha is at the mine face, we look at the weekend, you are gathered far away, we are going to moscow, val, and you, burning bridges behind you, other people’s houses, other people’s lives, but your own didn’t work out, so i want look back, i can’t believe my eyes, you returned, or something, completely, but i don’t know, you were looking for a new life, some kind of happiness. and didn’t find anything, happiness, it turns out, i’m here in our the village is waiting, but is it possible to find lost happiness, on sunday on the rtr,

kamchatka peninsula, one of the most environmentally friendly places on the planet, the nature of kamchatka is unique, geysers, hot springs. glaciers, giant faults, lakes, but the main pride of kamchatka are volcanoes, ice, stone, fire-breathing giants, the most powerful of them is part of the klyuchevskaya group, the majestic klyuchevskaya soup. the highest active volcano on the eurasian continent. volcanoes of kamchatka are a world natural heritage site. here, in the natural

life of the peninsula has been preserved in its pristine purity. kamchatka. you look 100 to one, what is our task to open the whole board, we can handle it, if you ask, then with a bulge. what character’s name from pushkin’s works everyone knows, how much is 7.8, 7.8, 7.8, how much is it already, who is at work, speaks a lot and loudly, if you answer, then... with humor, i’m chopping oak, not pinch, problems with water, light, housing and communal services, i don’t know what else, geometry, algebra, physics, chemistry - a set for headaches, god forbid now if

to win, then 100 to one, tomorrow on rtr. well, who among us has not visited the zoo, everyone is in such a hurry to see this wonderful sight: dad, dad, it’s already a monkey! “no, son, this is still a cashier, here’s a conversation near the cage, what a wonderful hare, just like our neighbor, that the ears are the same? no, he also gnawed one carrot until the loan was paid off, one lady says to her husband: “seryozha, seryozha, don’t stand next to the horned goat, i can’t figure out which one of you i should photograph . ”

so what, did it work? well, i don’t know, they agreed that i repair televisions and breed mice. but now it will be even funnier, because our guest is gennady vetrov. let's meet! the miniature is called i was driving, driving, driving around the country, i was driving, driving, driving, driving around the country, and driving around the country was pleasant for me, i was once on a train, a stop, a junction station, the train stops for a long time, at such stations, you know, they usually sell all kinds of food, grandmothers, there ’s potatoes, there’s chicken, everything, and i’m lying in... in a compartment walking down the aisle to the train, that means woman, advertises all the products, fresh

potatoes, mushrooms, mushrooms, strawberries , raspberries, everything, opens my compartment, oh, such a tetanus, says, wow, gennady, why are you lying here alone like this, unattended, so hungry, i say , i just had lunch in the dining car, she says, no, no, no, i won’t leave like that, my husband andrey won’t forgive me for not treating you, she dives into her bag, takes out strawberries from there, the strawberries are fresh from my garden bed, i dive into my bag, take out the disk, i say, the disk with my numbers, new, she dives into hers for a minute bag, takes out fresh potatoes with mushrooms , steamed, just right for you, i dive into the bag, take out an audio disc, she dives into her bag, doesn’t emerge for a long time, apparently it’s all over, emerges and... looks at me, says: gennady, then the song, she gave 18 verses

, songs, a cossack galloped, whistled, i drove, drove, drove through my native country, and driving around the country was pleasant for me, a friend told me, it means a story in st. petersburg, he is stuck in a traffic jam, in a bad mood, there is no work, suddenly a life-saving call, he is invited to an event, and so he decided to discuss everything... conditions scenario, slowly, that means, pressed , that means, to, to the sidewalk, yes, before the turn, he turned on the emergency lights and began to discuss all the components of the holiday, and behind him at the same time a red peugeot stopped behind the wheel of a woman, he stands for 10 minutes talking, the woman is also standing , he’s 15, he’s been standing for 20 minutes, they’re talking, suddenly a woman runs out of the car, knocks on the window with her fist, he rolls down the window, says, what happened, she’s a man

: she falls right on her head, that’s it, they’re all covered in paint, they barely washed themselves in the evening, especially here

my head is over, the next day one man came in wearing a rubber goblin mask, everyone said: kolya, are you completely crazy, what are you doing? he says, in the evening we’ll see who ’s gone crazy, everyone’s wearing paint in the evening, he took off his rubber mask, so he went home, on the third day the whole brigade came wearing rubber goblin masks. they are slowly painting the bridge, one guy is driving home in a car, he is in a good mood, the sun , the weather, suddenly he sees goblins painting the bridge, and then... he just stopped drinking, you know, he thinks, has the squirrel really returned, you know, paid so much money for treatment , he drives closer, looks, they are painting, he went down, that means they are painting a bush next to the bridge, he took a large stone, he thinks i’m about to get hit and it will dissipate, that means it’s a glitch, he threw a stone, hit one in head, the glitch did not

dissipate, in short, the whole team made a physical reprimand to him for half an hour. i drove, drove, drove through my native country, and it was pleasant for me to drive around the country, i was in a sectional car, i saw such a picture at the railway station, it means that a porter is carrying a drunk man, apparently friends loaded they gave him money and asked him to take him to the right carriage, the porter carries this man along the pier, the man comes to his senses, looks around, suddenly... he starts singing, a little slower, the horses, a little slower, and the inhabitant, as he rode, still goes there is more than one emotion on his face, but the load is not being heeded, well, what kind of horses did i come across, fastidious ones, when the occupant took him to the right carriage and unloaded it, i realized that he also had something to do with music, since the phrase was

musical, get off, come on , we came to stradivarius. i drove, drove, drove through my native country, and it was nice for me to go singing

, on the next plane, great, one man is selling a dog, well, they ask him, is your dog smart, he says, yes, very smart, he says, healthy, oh, very healthy, listen, oh true, uh, not the right word , super true, i’m already selling for the fifth time, and after the cat found his way home, the wife reproaches her husband, our code, 300 km away, found my apartment, and you, leaving the restaurant 200 m away you just can’t get into your entrance, so what is it? the path to our parade of humor is not overgrown, everyone who has achieved success in satire and humor, he has a direct path to our parade. meet svetlana razhkova on stage.

hello, hello, ol, can you hear me, but no, ol, i won’t come today, ol, well, i can’t, but everything is bad with me, ol, you know, it’s bad! yes, i’m going to the bird market, yeah, well, mine is hysterical all the time, yes, well, a psychopath, i’m to blame for all his sins, you see,

you understand, he clings to me for every reason, yes, yes, yes, you were right, ulya, well , but he clings for no reason, about something, but he has become unbearable, oh, yes, he has become so hostile to his mother... himself, he was yelling at me, well, yes, he was yelling , he was yelling, his voice was lost, well, yesterday he was yelling about gantelli, yes, his voice came back to him again,

can you imagine, well, yes, but the gantelli fell on his leg, well, it fell, and he was yelling at me, well, what do i have to do with it, olya, well, what do i have to do with it, i just had the gundel in my hands and then suddenly it tore out of my hands right at him... he says he needs some kind of animal, my husband, you know , an animal, so that he calms down, yes, so that, if something happens, he yells at the animal, and not at me, well, i

’m thinking about food, what should i buy him so calm, no i know, maybe you can recommend something, what and who, a dog, what are you, what kind of man’s friend, what, but he has no contact with dogs at all, you know? look, last year we were relaxing at the dacha, and he was walking past the neighbors with a sandwich, and there’s a dog living there, so small, but it looks like a rat, well , it’s called a bull terrier, well, it’s like she asked him for a sandwich, you know, she asked so intelligently, so woof-woof. but he felt sorry for him, he showed her the muzzle, and then he tells me, he says, can you imagine, i’m after this duly wanted to put a sandwich in her mouth

, then bang, a dog’s mouth, that’s it, yes, the sandwich disappeared from her hand, yes, just like that, in an instant, the sandwich from her hand, the mustache from her face, she shaved it like that, she’s free, yes, now the mustache. they don’t grow, only the eyebrows, well, no, no, a dog won’t do, well, we need something else, well , something like that, well, absolutely, you know, well, well, like that, a fish, no, that’s even worse than a dog, olya, i ’m telling you for sure, yes, i know what i’m saying, olya, when we were on vacation in turkey, well , we went to the beach, well, i’m lying there, sunbathing i’m taking it, i’m sunbathing, and he went for a swim, you understand, that’s what he needs to swim, so tell me, it seemed like he was splashing, splashing, splashing, splashing, yes, then a fish swam,

can you imagine, well, so big, they call it a shark, but it didn’t attack on no one except my husband, but no, she bit, she was elderly, had no teeth, well, yes, she sucked, sucked, spat out behind the buoy. i just took my swimming trunks as a souvenir, but no, he wasn’t even scared, but i’m telling you, he didn’t even notice, then he sat on the floor in the room for 3 days , showing everyone his tongue, and drooling, no, the fish didn’t will do, no, ol, i don’t know, well, i don’t know, you know, i’m already scratching my head, what should i buy him, a turtle, no, no, i already bought a turtle, i got one for myself, but it lived for 3 days. well, it happened , you know, she called her tortilla, yeah, well , i let her out,

she was walking along the corridor, and that day, you know, he didn’t go to work... he went and said, i went to wash, what should he wash- then in broad daylight, no, he went to wash, then he says, the phone rang, and he jumped out of the bathroom into the corridor, all soapy, and there was tortilla walking, so what, he he stepped on it, well, it was like a slime, yes, he was flying along the corridor on this turtle, he developed such speed, and at that time i came home from work, but i didn’t know that he was there on the turtle. the corridor is stealing away, i calmly opened the door with my key, and then he flew out of the nest, yes, he galloped up all the steps and flew out of the entrance, olya, i’m telling you, this was his finest hour, yes, the grandmothers who are sitting near the entrance, they he was immediately rated 6:00, well, i don’t know what to buy, olya.

a hat, a rabbit with earflaps, kolya, you’re a genius, how could i not have guessed, lord , it’s kind of like an animal, it’s kind of safe, olechka, thank you, now he’ll be sitting next to me in this hat, rabbit earflaps with carrots, and i’ll come up to him from behind, i’ll hug him, give him a massage, say a kind word... and maybe he won’t have to buy animals, even on weekends we don’t part with our loved ones.

the hero of our favorite tv series sklefosovsky is our guest, i love you all, understand? this is not your wife, it seems like he was smiling now, in my memory, love remains the first, remind me of the name your heroine, group nana with a song! hello andrey, andrey malakhov's evening show , today on rtr, this is for you, well, did you get some sleep, gentlemen, just a minute, attention, we have a big

day today, swarms of our time, beauty, rapping, the whole crew, just watching on the platform.

we will tell you everything about the elections in russia in detail, it is not difficult to understand them, it is important, it is honestly convenient, how to vote on a smartphone? on

sunday early in the morning, during the absolute parade , the kids shouted: people, get up, let's all vote, and my mother said sleepily, let's choose remotely, dad supported. let's choose electronically, said grandma and grandpa, i'm a father , i'll go with you, but our generation loves papers, ballots, but the young electron change is modern, i'm not an opponent of progress , hold your granddaughter's alarm clock, this is all quite reasonable, it's possible remotely, we let's go with you, choose your mother the old fashioned way, using our usual method, at the site, as usual, choosing freely in the country is important. honestly convenient, there is no family in russia where its hero is not remembered, and the eyes of young soldiers, looking from photographs of faded ones, this

a look, like the highest court, for the children who are now growing up and... you can’t lie, deceive, or go astray, to the ninetieth anniversary of the birth of vasily lunovoy, legendary, beloved, film officers, on sunday on rtr, tea, manenka, manenka, yes, how should you love a person? ego to take and come to him. what is a strong family built on? the question, of course, is interesting, based on love, what beautiful girls, i thought, he knows how to do everything. for this a person lives, he must have a continuation.

what is a good conversation based on, trust? i so contradictory, wisdom has turned on for me, and cunning, my eye is burning, that is, well, if you noticed, even two. when everyone is at home on sunday on rtr. karen, how many good things people say about pigeons. so the girl says to the guy: “i wanted us to coo like those two pigeons on the roof,” and the groom says to her: “you’re crazy, i’m afraid of heights.” the old-fashioned way sends a letter to a friend with a carrier pigeon, what are you talking about, but the pigeon is modern, it flies 200 meters and forwards this letter further by email by mail, yes, they are very useful, at a wedding,

when the newlyweds released doves into the sky, the groom released his dove with a note: help, this artist also loves birds, on stage, we meet artyom shukin.

karel, you know, cats occupy such an important place in our lives that we need to talk about them separately.

here is my cat, you know, a real hunter , you know, she will hide, her ears prick up and wait patiently, and as soon as she hears the rustling, she will jump on the mouse, on the bag of food, and my cat hunts only with my hands, it’s like, well, like , he every sunday 2 hours before the alarm clock, i will go fishing. what, try to come without a catch, well, somehow i didn’t catch anything, i’m standing at the door, embarrassed to come in, so my wife tells me: come in, karen, don’t be afraid , i already bought him a sprat in the store, you know, i’m here i read a conversation between two cats, can you imagine, the first one says, well, when he promised to marry you, the other says: in march, first, yes, in march they promise everything, now we will call

a wonderful artist to this stage who will simply decorate our concert with which we are confident there are also dogs and cats living in the house, meet svyatoslav yeshchenko on stage. oh, yesterday was an evening of oratory, my mother-in-law and i were yelling at each other, no, well, the main thing was that i sat quietly, drank beer, didn’t bother anyone, my mother-in-law stood over my soul and itched and itched, again he’s drinking beer, no... ... doesn’t work, he only drinks beer and the entire refrigerator

is covered in beer, i’ll throw his filthy beer out of my refrigerator, in general, i pulled it out of the door so hard that my own refrigerator knocked itself down. she whined all over nine floors, yeah, i saved my mother-in-law, yes, yes, under morning, which means he held it on the navel. refrigerator, while she got out, so instead of saying thank you to me, she says: i’ll be back, i’ll make a venison out of you, ugh, run to work, yes, but only my mother-in-law works for us, there are no more fools, i’m just relaxed,

call on the home phone, i pick up the phone , an intelligent male voice, but very indignant, i later realized that he was from the animal welfare society, yes, they received a signal to the society that someone, you know, was torturing a dog in our apartment, she whines all night, but he doesn’t introduce himself to me, right away threats over the phone, for mocking a defenseless... creature, you will go to trial, well , it’s about a dog, but i’m talking about my mother-in-law, i think, i ’m saying, man, what kind of trial, what are you saying, it’s her own fault, i say , i’m sitting quietly, drinking beer, and she woof-woof-woof, the voice of the receiver speaks, and you expected to hear human

speech, they all bark, this is their way of communication, the way nature created them. i say, well, it’s impossible to live like this, she growls at me every day, she’s afraid of you, he won’t let up, establish contact with god’s creature, i say, yes, i would love to, well, well, how, i don’t know, she just broke off the chain yesterday, maybe her neck was rubbed, i say, oh well, what are you talking about, man, what’s on her neck, my gift chain , she can’t rub... because she’s made of a soft, light material, red aluminum, this dog lawyer is indignant, says: god, what incompetence, they start them, then they don’t know how to care for them, and i keep thinking about my mother-in-law, i say , but who turned her on, she

wound up on her own, i say, he says, she got lost or something, i say, you’re definitely a man they noticed that she had gotten lost... and i say, man, i say, maybe this creature is dear to my wife, but if it had crawled like that even once, i would have already been treated with electricity, and she would have been grounded a long time ago, he says: well, it’s cute, because it’s so interesting to watch them, ours, for example,

really likes to swim, what does he do in the bathtub, jumps, bites the water, listen, i think myself, i still have, thank god, not everything is so bad, people in general with what kind of crazy mothers-in-law live, i say it myself, man, if mine had jumped into the bathtub, all the water would have already been on the floor, in the bathtub is on the first floor, and he advises, says, you hold it by the scruff of the neck and wash it, i wash mine myself, then i take it out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, i think i ’m probably completely... behind the times, men are holding their mothers-in-law in their arms they drag her around in towels, and he continues, give in to her in everything, you are smarter, i say, i agree, you are at a different stage of evolution, i say, continue, don’t

stoop to her level, you are a person, and she is for your love? will bring you slippers in his teeth, i say, man, from now on , in more detail, please, is this really it is possible to achieve, he says , of course, try it today, you will succeed, but how, how, how, what to do, he says, pat her on the head, give her a piece of sugar, kiss her nose, scratch her behind the ear. i rewrote all the points, said goodbye to him amicably, spent the whole day daydreaming, imagining my mother-in-law. with a slipper instead of yes, this evening the door opens, she comes in,

you-you-you-you, you-you-holes-you-you, i go up to her, smile, my mother-in-law froze, you-you-you-you, trembling with my hand in rubber gloves, i stroked my mother-in-law’s hair, she opened her mouth, so i couldn’t the man lied. i opened it to eat my slippers, i took advantage of the moment, threw a piece of refined sugar into the opened compartment, right on target, which just now dropped the bags, i , as expected, through a medical mask, kiss my mother-in -law on the snout, she leaned against the refrigerator, barely breathing, i rip off the glove and... i scratch my mother-in-law behind the ear, yes, mother-in-law, slowly

sliding down the refrigerator, from that very evening, and well , she didn’t bring slippers in her teeth, but she didn’t say anything rude to me, she was generally anime, yes , lies and is silent, in a separate room, that’s what it does to people weasel. oh, everyone is in one carriage

, it’s great, don’t force it, today, since our women have gone to bed, let’s not waste time, with such colleagues on vacation you won’t get bored, that polina and i are happy to host you here in our home, on a romantic date. fuck , i beg you, don’t move, we’ll fall , i’m afraid of heights, i’ll run to the embankment, back and forth, okay, i have a meeting there, but in more detail, what are we going to do, we’ll leave as we leave, take it and carry it, sea, sun, sklifosovsky, today on rtr, the ox is trembling, the walls are shaking. big changes have come , in the new season with a new renovation,

a slight movement of the hand, we are making three different functional zones from this absolutely faceless room, ideas are overflowing, we want to turn the radiator into an art object, there will be plenty of surprises and a lot of work, we have plans for in my eyes they turn into projects, i adore plants, i’m generally a plant maniac. real stone flowers will soon bloom in the living room of our heroes; after dismantling, much will become clear, and dreams become reality, as you see, let into your home, big changes, every sunday on rtr - look in one direction, look, look, look, you want to look, look, let's look

, look, well, look at the screen, look at me, carefully, look, look, agreement sign, we sign at the same time, for two, three, we sign, we look, we look, maybe we’ll go to me, just watch a movie, where is your homeland, my brother, and whose homeland are you, soldier, who do you serve, former friend, tear away everything that’s ours, which was shared, what will remain with you, they went against god, we went on a tour through all the liberated territories, what an impression it makes, russia comes and the city lives, boris korchevnikov’s program, life and fate, from monday to friday on rtr. provocation is treacherous behavior, there is a difference between a man and a woman, i noticed, then it turns out that my husband and my

cat are the most... intelligent being in our family, orientalism, this is conditionally some kind of parallel agenda, why not reef? continuation of the conversation in new episodes of our podcasts, and so as not to miss anything, subscribe, listen, watch on the media platform, watch the substation, the first podcasts we watch, no life, got up. it seems like it exploded at the mine, like at the mine, misha is at the mine face, we look at the weekend, god, valya, you are gathered far away, we are going to moscow, val, and you, burning bridges behind you, other people’s houses, other people’s lives, but my own didn’t work out, i so

want to look back, i can’t believe my eyes, you returned it, or something, completely, but i don’t know, i was looking for a new life , some kind of happiness and found nothing, happiness, it turns out, is waiting for me here in our village, but is it possible to find lost happiness on sunday on rtr, you are watching 100 to one, what is our task, open the whole board, we can handle it, if you ask, then with the underbelly, the name of which character?

when you get animals, you unwittingly adopt the habits and traits of your pets. you know, and i’ll give you an example, yeah, from one story. the husband unexpectedly meowed and rubbed his leg, and his wife immediately patted him on the head and gave him a piece of sausage, and you know that the owner who got the cat began to climb trees much better, and one lady, to her surprise, noticed that she, like her dog, had been going for a walk for a month in a pink jumpsuit and

rhinestones. and a woodpecker lives in one man’s house and is chiseling at the walls, but during an argument with his neighbors this man couldn’t find the right argument and painfully pecked him in the forehead. oh, no, it’s better to keep the turtle, the only thing that threatens you is that you will be late everywhere, so our next guest is not only never late, but simply always stands on stage, yes. who is this? uh-huh, who is this? you, karen! meet karen avanesyan on stage. sometimes we it seems that only we can think, think, speak, although there is an opinion that all inanimate objects also have their own

language, inaudible to us. and if he were audible, just imagine, a teapot, and not just a simple one, but a talking one, how many interesting things he could tell us, we learned, i’m a teapot, no, not electric, the most ordinary one, father is a samovar, mother is a saucepan, sister is a bowl , i speak indian. chinese, ceylon, georgian and krasnodar, favorite composer sheikovsky, favorite writer limonov, favorite group - ivan chai, well, there used to be tea together and cream, by the way, single, i once liked one sugar bowl, she was so sweet, round, a round fool, she ran away with

one pot-bellied one. granulated sugar pours out of her, and one i remember, she was attracted to me, but i immediately dismissed her, her profession was very dangerous, horseradish cutting, but all this happened a long time ago, and now i’m standing on the stove, alone, already, of course, it’s not the same, and the sides are wrinkled, and the handle doesn’t rise well, and the nose is always wet, but when i started, oh, at first i showed off in the store, then they bought me for the hospital, they put him in the kitchen, oh, i saw enough there

, i heard a lot, one grandfather lay in the corridor for 3 days, then he was transferred to the women's ward, well, the doctor said it was okay, it was safe for women, and when a week later a place became available for men, the grandfather was upset. refused to move, so he said, where else can i lie next to five women at once, the funny thing is, it soon turned out that all five neighbors in the ward were already pregnant, there was another funny incident, one man sniffed glue, his lips were stuck together, he was lying there, hums, i want tea, i want tea, give me some tea, some tea, where should i pour it, my mouth won’t open, the nanny says, let’s, comrades, let’s try to come in from the rear through an enema bottle, well, let’s go in, suddenly the patient began to shake, the doctors muttered in horror, what happened to you , what happened to the patient, he says: i asked

for tea without sugar, i don’t remember how, but soon i found myself in a trash heap, a pensioner picked me up there, at his house it was like a ball, well, at least there was a tv in the kitchen, otherwise i would have melted from boredom, otherwise... i'm standing on the stove, watching my favorite program when everyone is at home, the only program where everyone drinks only tea, well, recently there was a show at avanisyan’s place, you won’t believe it, it turned out that he is also my relative, well, when his wife was asked if her husband is a good driver, she said straight out, he’s a teapot, and recently the doctors forbade my grandfather to smoke, they said that’s it , stop smoking already, the sand is already falling off you, grandfather says: it’s strange, you yourself told me that my body works like a clock, they say everything is correct, like a clock, but like

an hourglass, and recently his pension was increased by 100 rub. to celebrate, he invited some blonde girl, so she didn’t give us the tv it’s okay to watch, the owner switches to football, she switches to the parade of humor, the owner to... at night i hear a blonde whispering to my grandfather: i love it so much when they bite me on the ear before going to bed, my grandfather threw back the blanket, got up, put on his slippers, she told him, where are you going? , he says, where, where, behind the teeth, after this blond. we got cockroaches, well, they used to be in her head, but now they’ve scattered all over our apartment, someone told the owner to let the cockroaches go away, he should slam

the door before going to bed and say loudly, i have nothing to eat, but he did, suddenly at night it someone will be there, turns on the light, cockroaches stand and say: grandfather, wake up, “we brought you food, you have nothing to eat, he got a dog, well, he decided that she would be a good watchman, he wrote on the door, be careful, angry dog, he went for pensions, he comes, the dog is sleeping, there is no coat, a note, don’t bite the dog, you asshole, what is it, oh, it’s the owner who turned on the stove, he’s waiting for his classmates for tea, classmates are friends, pensioners who live on the same porridge, here they are, now

they’ll start arguing again about when it was better, before or now, well, no matter what they argue about, by the morning they will still agree on what was better. because before the women were younger, oh, oh, how hot, and why did they fall asleep or something, would you whistle? yes, the owner doesn’t allow it, he says: it’s impossible to reduce, there won’t be any money at home , yeah, you’d think he has it, oh-oh-oh , the lid has already gone, buoy-buy-buy, eh, it was, it wasn’t, hey, i'm leaking,

animals love us very much, and we reciprocate: hello, this is the animal welfare society, your postman is sitting on a tree insulting our dog, besides, animals they are still very thinking creatures, that’s for sure, so let’s imagine that they can talk, the mother rabbit, when asked by the little rabbit where he came from, he always says: from a magician’s hat. “we also entertain them, and not only they, one mother says, we went with the children to the zoo, the children squeaked, screamed, waved, all the animals were happy, so the dog talks about the owner, finally, he tore him away from the computer, so it’s still unknown who is walking whom, and our next guest is capable of tearing everyone away, from the computer and newspapers, all sorts of things"

just blurt it out, zina, now you’re still nothing, you were a complete ass at sachse’s wedding, well, as a result, kolya spent 3 months in the traumatology department, only the doctors counted seven open fractures, they decided not to count the closed ones, so as not to get upset. the head of the department of the pedagogical institute was lying in the room with him, he also blurted out, without thinking, he woke up in the morning, and to his wife, well, i should have said, after such a wonderful night, honey, you’re amazing, i should have said, but he blurted out something completely different, okay, let’s pass the record book, this one was less lucky, only two fractures, one along.

torso, the other across, women, they are generally cunning, yes, my neighbor told me, my husband came home from work, angry as a dog, sitting, sniffling, gritting his teeth, i was already thinking, has he really found out about edik, i think we need to distract him, and i lay down naked in the dumplings, he then said how sensitive you are to me, i need... to listen more carefully to my inner voice, tolik stepanov, in general, got caught with his mistress, and at the same time his mother-in-law’s wife. in the evening he came home and said: katya, i have come. the wife barked, walked away, and the roar made them three neighbor cats who, in principle , had no intention of giving birth. and then an inner voice tells him: “darling, do this and that.” he did so, an hour later. ran to his wife, said:

katya, i’ve come, don’t yell, i didn’t come alone, i had a bottle of tequila with me, a ring with a diamond, and katya barked, he came up, my wife’s friend decided to get herself a fur coat, split her husband into a fur coat, she treated him according to the system for six months television advertising, every 15 minutes she told him: “dear, didn’t i tell you that my neighbor bought a new fur coat, in 15 minutes, dear, didn’t i tell you that my neighbor bought it, but a week later the text of the advertisement changed. “darling, we’re having a holiday, all our moths have flown off to our neighbor’s to eat a new fur coat, honey, we’re having a holiday, all our moths have flown away, and before going to bed she told him, kostya, we have such early frosts because

the neighbor is in the new fur coat is sweating, after 2 months he couldn’t stand it, he slammed his fist on the table and yelled: “enough!” got up and went to get the fur coat, try not to buy it, after 2 hours she galloped home, and then she lost it, kostya, i bought a fur coat, boots, earrings and a sheepskin coat for my mother, and kostya took her in his arms and dragged her to drown in a moskvarik, my parents are arguing, i was a fool for marrying you, an idiot, he says, but i... was i'm a fool for marrying you idiots, the kid is doing his homework and muttering under his breath, and both are idiots and fools, they want me to study well, to get the best of me, but sometimes there are cases when you can get screwed without saying a single word, police colonel petrov,

he had a favorite pastime, he loved to outline his mother-in-law with chalk while she was sleeping, he got high scary, but one day she woke up at the wrong time, in family life anything can happen, you want to swear, swear, bark, let your soul run to make peace, my grandfather ran to my grandmother to make peace at supersonic speed, but they made up in silence, because they both knew

hello on the russia vesti tv channel, in the denis polanchukov studio and most importantly by this hour. in 10 minutes, 12 cluster shells in the ukrainian armed forces opened fire on gorlovka. victims. russian paratroopers stormed another stronghold in the ssu near artyomovsk. our troops are destroying ukrainian defenses along the entire front line. the regions have begun to train observers for the upcoming presidential elections.