from investors in the arctic, that’s how it’s like three deaths, and what’s hidden at the bottom of the ice age lake. news of the week, sunday, 20:00. vesti follows the development of major events in russia and abroad. stay. what kind of job are you planning to look for?

talent can be stolen! the entire collection has disappeared! albert! what about the hall? there will be a fashion show of my collection. you still have nothing to show. it turns out that he was deceiving me and not only me. lace. today on rtr. rt. planet, more than just television. this a piece of russia on every screen of the planet. let's fly! the loudest premieres. how did i get here? pos corporate, or what? who are you? oh, you don't know bender well. you don't need a motive for murder on a tricky plot. what

was that on the strip? i don’t know, dog, in my opinion, exciting series, we’re putting together an orchestra , we’ll perform shastakovich’s seventh symphony , whoever doesn’t take risks, luck doesn’t smile on him, we’ll succeed, i’ll be the one doing the surgery, i’m scared, as if i’m not me, to unfortunately, no motive for the murder, no connection between murders, but she exists, and we will find her, i remind you once again that she is mine.

bring evgeniy pedrcyan into the studio, be careful! thank you, thank you, there is a motor,

that means. hello , hello, hello, humor, humor, humor invites you to the tv, make the sound comfortable for yourself, try not to be distracted, because humor does not like any distractions, if a word is missed, then the whole joke is lost, so whoever laughs, the world responds with laughter; when a person laughs, he tunes himself to a joyful look at... life, not to mention all kinds of therapy. for example, scientists say that diabetics should laugh more often, because this reduces blood sugar levels. having a sense of humor is a great gift, not everyone is given it, like the ability to sing and dance, a

sense of humor is what helps our person make comedy out of any life routine, and not make a tragedy out of every next one. problems. first, let’s go with you to a wedding agency, which can not only help you find a companion or life partner, but fix the wedding itself. they might even come up with some original wedding. now there is such a trend: i want a wedding that is not like everyone else’s. history knows many original weddings and wedding traditions. in scotland, for example , on the eve of the wedding, the bride is literally doused with mud, like this, in one of the provinces of china, girls begin to prepare for family life a month before the ceremony with the help of sobs, the girl should cry for an hour a day,

and gradually all members of her family, female, join her. in another chinese province, the groom is trying. shoot his future wife, don’t be surprised, he shoots three arrows without tips at her from a bow, true, but nevertheless, then the husband breaks these arrows as a sign that a happy life awaits them without betrayal and betrayal. in india , before going to the coltar, the groom must take off his shoes, this is where the fun begins, relative... and the bride must contrive to steal the shoes, and the groom's relatives must protect them with all their might; if they fail to protect the shoes, the new husband must pay for her ransom, what! in germany

the newlyweds pick up a saw and cut the log together, in front of all the guests, a hint that they will have to work hard to convey. in bulgaria, to propose, a young man must throw an apple at his beloved. thank you for not being a watermelon. among some caucasian peoples, the bride must stand during the entire wedding in a specially designated place for her, covered with a dense photo. only the groom’s relatives have the right to look under the photo, and after that they must, don’t be alarmed. spit on the bride, of course, not for real, so the bride is protected from the evil eye, there are many traditions , there is also a humorous way, if you want your wedding to be remembered for the rest of your life,

a burry toastmaster with a stutter is at your service , your bride, i am your bride, to be honest. you are lucky to have me, sit down my little bunny, you know, dear, i really want our wedding to be extreme, what do you mean, it’s not enough that you marry me, well, we can get married, you know, where in the desert, no, there.. .there are a lot of poisonous snakes, they will all crawl towards your mother to exchange experiences, leave me alone from my mother, well we can get married then, you know, under water , well, no, dear, well, armenians don’t reproduce in water, well, look carefully at my

nose, where can i find a mask so that it fits completely in it, well, my nose needs a separate scuba tank, here like this. and again, hello, we want an original, unusual wedding, like not everyone has, right, i think that it will still be impossible to forget. possible, offer number 85, look, exclusive option, wedding in the air, 300 guests jumping with parachutes, what do you think? i agree, marriage is concluded on in heaven, dear, marriages are made in heaven, but why go there in person , you jump with parachutes, exchange rings in flight, after you, all the guests pour out there singing and dancing,

the headwind is 250 km/h, so, unfortunately , the first kiss will have to be postponed until landing, and of course, no flowers, excuse me, uh, how are these no flowers, this is a wedding, in which case proposal number 86, a wedding in the greenhouse of the botanical garden, imagine, rhododentrons, cornflowers, so to speak , "the air is filled with the smell of blooming lily, especially for you on this day , opens its flower, the kernel cactus reigns at night, and be healthy, bride, like a light dandelion carried by the breeze, be healthy, her photos develop in the wind, be healthy! small butterflies are circling over her delicate head! i'm already screwed! excuse me,

please, what's wrong with you? i’m allergic to smells and once i even ended up in the hospital, i realized it was a great proposal, a wedding in space! so, let's dive into the rocket! attention! everything is ready to start the wedding ceremony, the countdown has begun, four, three, the sounds of mendelssohn's march burst out of the nozzle, close the nozzle, that's enough, so 2, 1, the vibration starts, okay, it's shaking you with anticipation of family life, attention, start! the first stage has moved away, this is your single life, the second stage is moving away, this is the personal

savings of the groom, you are flattened, we overcome the force of attraction of our parents, here it is, you are weightless in outer space!

i like it, but i don’t, come here, and how do you

imagine your first wedding night in zero gravity, well, some kind of intimacy, this is a real report about the docking, 200 people are in command earth, to the left, to the right, up, down, everyone is watching so that i don’t miss. “i’m sorry, but my docking station won’t stand this, this is not a wedding, but some kind of circus, let’s get out of here, circus, wait, i’ll make you another amazing proposal that you will like, i want a proposal, a wedding in a military unit, on the parade ground , you approach the place of the wedding with a triple step,

the bride has a veil, dashingly twisted to the side, upon arrival you salute each other." straight to the point, dear, you didn’t understand it in the right sense, then you exchange it as a sign of love with bricks and with words for family happiness , you hit them on your head, i can damage, of course, she can damage the brain, but no, wedding hair, yeah, okay, sit down, this is... no big deal, look, for you on the parade ground at this time the marshal of our stage alexander marshal will sing, it’s expensive, well then the lead singer of the group has a white ticket limited to those fit for wartime along with his flat feet, it’s cheap, good, then the group is a singing standby.

there was not enough space on the wedding parade ground, those who are not wearing a helmet, get away from sin, regiment commander, witness. the bride and two cool guys from the groom, our wedding, wedding, wedding, just marched left to right and in circles.

freight, for some reason i thought so, oh, i understood everything, the wedding should be where we met, i mean in the elevator, in the freight, okay, then we’ll improvise, imagine, a typical nine-story building of a typical nine-story building, so say, a typical elevator. guest types, that is, typical guests, come from everywhere. the bride and groom climbed into the elevator of a nine-story panel building, dear, not

will it be too crowded for us, the receptionist was there. i wrote something on a piece of paper, dear koren alexandra, i declare you husband and wife, the photographer quickly came running, although the cabin was narrow, stand more crowded, smiled, much more crowded, the guard stood at the door and controlled the loading, citizens, the elevator is designed for four , be careful, then the guests arrived, the people had to make room, forward, comrades, the middle is free, those who were thinner were able to get into the end of the cabin, i wonder if there will be fireworks, but god forbid, there is cabbage soup in the corner... tamodag even tried to shout bitterly, throw the bride’s bouquet, throw, throw, he drew on the floor with a knife, glory to love, and here was kolka,

bitter, bitter, bitter, one of the women was jealous, the beginning of mindelson’s march, oh, frost, frost, face pressed the stop button, the photographer’s sister, alena. and i adore weddings in the face , the flattened ishenih shouted to his friends and it seems that everything is ready, it’s interesting, they will serve it hot, the guests forgot that they didn’t count uncle borya, i’m coming, i’m coming, i’m coming, i’m coming, i’m coming, the bride and groom, arranged in a sheet , your holiday is not for nothing, not for nothing, because ki for rent got it for free, practically for nothing, the bride was kidnapped, it would be better

if they stole the sea, it would be easier to breathe, it’s over, well done, yes, when will this all end, friends, let’s finally drink what is not yet breathing, water , water, champagne, the gypsies have arrived, no need, of course. but they had to sacrifice a place for dancing, a smoking room and steam, but in retirement they will have something to remember themselves, to dedicate to memoirs, anna ostrovskaya, it’s very nice, and you mean that same psychic and fortuneteller, yes, the premiere on rtr, this is our new opera, ah... borisovna, very nice, help him , let's switch to you, come on, yura, she can work with anyone, you can somehow see things,

feel something, even with ghosts, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, come out and look for me, i have to find someone, but not everyone can work with her, you dreamed about this kidnapping. you started some kind of amateur activity here, a kindergarten, by god, please , just take my word for it, trust me everything, no contact with ostrovskaya, she’s fired, anna meteo, continuation, we’re watching on monday on rtr, an eternally young, wonderful festival. together with him we met the thaw and perestroika, with him we spent the velvet season on

the shores of the black sea. russia is once again opening its arms to those who own the future. their motto is, the world is changing because i am changing. together with russia, they are moving towards their dream. the opening ceremony of the world youth festival, live broadcast today on rtr, drop everything and go quickly to the restaurant in the garden, why is your semyon with some woman here in the restaurant? semyon, tell me that all this seemed to me, olga kabo, he called me ideal, or even ideal, you can hang noodles on your ears

, cuckold you, dmitry frid, partings can be for the better, i don’t know, it’s as if they ran over me now, oleg almazov, irena met a gorgeous man, they there's a romance planned, just think, i'll try her too. can you imagine, our quiet girl’s irka immediately has a cloud of gentlemen, the most important thing is that they fight for her to the death, everyone has the right to later happiness, listen, or maybe we’ll start all over again, march 8 on rtr. why 17 years old the guy doesn't get enough at night, today in this studio the world hits of the seventies will be played.

a couple of days ago dima and i signed, how you pulled it all off, i don’t understand, sergei gorobchenko, it seems to me that it’s good that this happened to us, yes, everything is for the better, glofira torkhanova, kirill grebenshchikov, i’m to blame for you, you i need it, isn’t it because my business has gone well, i’m tracking down my sister

in your car, guess? what will happen next, do you want to bang her, or what? i'll start all over again, march 8, nartr is ugly or beauty, in this case there is no difference, every woman wants to be liked, at 17 she will buy it at 70 years old. and a fashionable dress , you can’t forget about the funny, every woman wants to like it, what’s wrong with that, friends, there are problems, she will cope with them, clenching her teeth and clenching her fists, every woman wants to like it, despite all her misfortunes,

win. so, the theater begins with a hanger, excuse me, remove your feet, please, yeah, thank you, the hanger begins, well, clean it up, you are standing on the garbage, you can’t see, no, the hanger begins, mikhail, you are right on the garbage, right on the garbage, move away, move away, i beg you, i am a theater, it’s not my fault that it ’s dirty here, it’s absolutely not my fault, we work without

conflicts. that’s it, i’ve been paid , i’m working, i don’t know anything, what i’m working without , no conflict, what is it, don’t conflict, that’s it , until the stage shines, i won’t leave here at all, man, please move away, you’re in the trash, you you’re standing on the garbage, are you deaf, there’s a concert here, see you? congratulations, you ran into a conflict, and davta 3:4 quickly backstage, what does he say he has for me some kind of surprise, i don’t like surprises, but what else, you can come up and take mine from my pocket, that’s just how i am. i'll take

it, that's it, i'm off, oh, a flower, plastic , oh, how is it, i'm quite a man, take it, i'm generally not very light, well, i 'll take it for grandma, a man, a man, people are looking, a man somehow not at the address, you no, men, don’t know, take your sika, i’m in general, wipe your hands, remove your hands, the new one

is a scoundrel! and to make others well seem right, only you can make the darkness bride, only you and you are and really.

you are my destiny, when you hold my hand, i understand the lagging that you do, you're my dream come true, my one and only you. can you make all this change in me, for it's

true, you are my destiny, when you off all my head. i understand the magic that you do, you're my dream and true, my one and only you, one and only you. out of the list your voice is calling to twilight time when purple color curtains mark

the end of day i'll hear you my dear at twilight deepening shadows the most important thing, faithful, selfless, but the question arises, with such merits , why does she need you, i wonder if i will

ever get married or not, and this is me already in character, but how to get married, how to meet, at work i don’t have such an opportunity, on the street ... i can’t make acquaintances , i don’t know how, a friend advised me here, you say, read marriage advertisements, maybe you’ll find someone, there are a lot of marriage advertisements in the newspapers now, and in general there are plenty of advertisements, a non-marriage woman too, a good successful company is looking for a third with your bottle. it feels like good company. dentistry, the latest drugs, expensive, don’t even call. is this some kind of humor, or what? steel doors, bars, fences, free,

bottle. a slow-working stenographer-typist looking for a stuttering director. a team of qualified finishers will finish your apartment. i will provide. the move of an elderly person, that ’s what they mean, a remedy for baldness, if a bald man drinks it, then there will be one less bald person, i’ll give the mother-in-law into evil hands, but where is this marriage advertisement, the mother-in-law has disappeared, i won’t tell you the signs. here is finally the marriage announcement,

a young beautiful woman agrees to marry a respectable man from 11 pm to two in the morning every day, they probably work during the day a single woman will rent a room or rent it out, i wonder if i need to call, hello, galya, tell me, are you giving or are you renting, it doesn’t matter, as long as there is a man good, i’m good, i don’t drink , i don’t smoke, i don’t swear, i don’t work, recently i was 30, in a month i’ll be 50, old, yes, a man, he ’s a man in africa, no, a black man, an ordinary pink one. yes

, i’m not a piglet, why a pig, height 80 meters in a jump, from the table, small, yes, small the tree grows to the root, brunette, no, not burning, bald, what? why brunette? but because my bald head is tanned, it’s very convenient, i ’m a brunette in summer, blond in winter, my eyes are like the red sea, i’m an albino, no, my nose is normal, a jacket potato, why in a jacket, because it’s peeling, who’s a freak, where should i go, no i understand, i always have a path with women , they send me and... and i go, i’m always on the way,

as the great teacher said, you’re going the right way, comrades, here i go, okay, let’s look again, it’s not difficult, that's how it is in general some kind of preoccupied, i’ll break you, kiss you while you’re drunk. the one who meets on my way , abnormal coffee, here we had a massage, thai, heavenly, relaxing, devastating, i was the only one who massaged my lower back that year, completely devastated the entire apartment, left only a black eye clofilin in vryunkie, massage since then i only did the door, and i rubbed the door jamb. it seems to be easier, the same is cheaper - that’s exactly what

’s next, languid melancholy, 29 years old, with a good figure, i like to travel by kayaks, horseback riding, sing by the fire, i dream meet a knight, oh, i need to call, hello, lida, it’s me, your knight, what do i need, let’s talk about you, how tall are you, 150? yes, yeah, and the weight is also 150, yes, some kind of bun , no, i’m not for you, what are you, your legs are too big for your ears, yes, cheburashka, or something, no, it’s not me, again, not for you, that the eyes are big, green, toad, paths. class, no, i’m not for you at all, instead of a heart there’s a fiery engine, i understand,

carlson, no, i went, i flew like carlson to the tarmac, you’re going the right way, comrades, no, no, no, you have to be careful here that you’re all sorts of beautiful, sociable, friendly, decent, sexy, waiting for her betrothed, zhanna, yeah, hello, zhanna, please call me, i'm late for the announcement, yes, you 're already married, oh, congratulations, well, like everyone else, it's written, she's a beauty , worse than war , oh, it says sociable, doesn’t close her mouth, oh , it says friendly, with greetings, and the sexy one nags even during sex, how familiar this is to me, and what about her full name,

zhanna petrovna, oh, that’s mine the ex- wife, of course, passed away. young girl without vp, looking for a man, you can, but mate about s bmw, and i’m 50 dv, sk, usa, pomzh, what’s that, a stranger, some young girl without. disabled, or what ? and the pityless areas? in, probably, the hair is missing, without vp, missing, or what? without vodka, missing, looking for men, without ears, or what? mate, oops, mate is guaranteed

, that’s clear, with a bmw, with a bottle of mineral water, and i’m 50 dv, clear, arsenal, 50 cheap vodka, as if i wrote: a bald homeless disabled woman is looking for an earless swearer for joint abuse, what else is there to think about , cute owl, aries, monkey, looking for himself a suitable couple, masha, some kind of menagerie. and masha - who is this, what is this nickname, owls, sheep, monkeys, we need to clarify, hello, masha, you yourself , who is speaking, with whom am i talking, with a monkey, with a sheep, call one of the people to

the phone, i announcement, if anything, i have hamsters at home. then according to my horoscope , i don’t know myself, i was born on august 24, which means i ’m half-virgin, half-leo, one might say, a virgin with a hairy chest, a grigo, when i was married, i was a capricorn, if i drink beer, i’ll become an aquarius, when i look in the mirror drunk , i gemini, where should i go, along the milky way? “oh, well, i’ve been walking for a long time, no one will lead me astray from this path, you are going the right way, comrades , there is at least one normal person here, here ’s a normal one, in my opinion, a sexy blonde,

tender, sensual, with blue eyes, a beautiful figure, just my heart ached, she’s smart, kind, flexible, she’s thrifty, affectionate.” the obedient one will sell the driveshaft from a lada car, what a blow, that’s it, i’m tired enough for today, and tomorrow i ’ll count a thousand ads again and after tomorrow, i will still find you, my love. this is only possible in russia. the games of the future are freedom from any kind of discrimination and double standards. authentic sport. a tournament

that exceeded our wildest expectations. victory at the junction of reality. and the cyber universe, our champions have proven that there are no boundaries for sports, games of the future, forever, closing ceremony of the games of the future, on sunday on rtr. so, did you get enough sleep? gentlemen, just a minute, attention, today is a big day for us, a big holiday, dashing, it’s been a while since we

haven't seen you, damn it. well, you know, for every cool fighter there’s an even cooler one. they fell in love. yes, who is good to you, your wife or your boys? don't ask stupid questions now. he still loves them. “ you are responsible for your words, i am always responsible for my words, heroes of our time, beauty, repin, the whole team, we only look at the platform, we go to the doctor, we take up a lot of his time with empty complaints, and we don’t go to the doctor "when you seriously need to go, there is a warning sign."

and before this laughter, panoramas can also be safely call it an entertainer, so i haven’t parted with my profession for 60 years now. do you know, dear friends, that human thought is material? what does it mean? this means that if you all think together now, say

, about your favorite artist, then this... this artist will certainly appear on stage, but only for this you need to concentrate, concentrate, collect all your thoughts in one fist, think about him and he will definitely appear. to be honest, to be honest, i was thinking about another artist that i should have announce, and he was supposed to appear here, if now you think about this... wonderful man, then this man will now appear here before your amazed eyes, here we are, uh, the fact is that the artist i’m talking about , uh, an artist of an original genre, this is an artist of an original

genre, who has at least two tricks in his stash, bravo, thank you, so, this is a human, material thought, i ask you to think now about the artist who will appear in the next issue , so this is it. this artist is a woman, dear friends, like this, ok, please, moreover, this is a black woman, what else do you need,

please tell me, this is why you are doing these... this is all, why are you doing this, you want to flash on the screen, and thus, this is the scene the interlude made it possible to play up the performance of the artist, in this case gennady vetrov. i really like giving flowers, i recently went into a store, the seller recognized me and said: “oh, gennady, are you buying flowers, i say yes, but you have something else, no.” gennedy, what does the color of this or that flower mean? i say, not very much, but i'll tell you, now, if the flowers are white - this is innocence , remember, i say, yes, if yellow, parting, i say, it’s clear, white and yellow together, parting with innocence, my miniature is dedicated to children, children are the flowers of life, i really like to communicate with young people and teenagers, with these, especially

on stage, a girl comes out, i say, what is dasha’s name, how old? there is a groom, no longer, the boy’s mother gave him a flower, put him on the edge of the stage, said: take it to your uncle, he’s three years old, he clutched himself like a pocketknife , he probably walked for about three minutes, he barely got there, i he didn’t take this flower away, so he squeezed it, so i gave him the same provocation, i say, you have a bride, no, he, i say, there is a bride or not, i understand that this is not laughter, the beginning of hysteria, i say , just nod, yes or no, he sits on the tram. and now you know, a year has passed, i still don’t understand, either he sent me so gently, or he changed the topic on his own, but i often use this topic, the kid also came out so distressed, he answered all the questions, he hesitated on this question, i say there is a bride, he says so, i say there is a bride, i i say, well, or not, he says, but the folder has three, and dad sits in the front row, but

it’s a pity, it’s similar to the behavior of the famous pavlik, or my neighbor, gosha, has been running around the yard like an energizer for five years, no batteries they sit down, i see, at the beginning of summer he’s sitting sadly on a bench, i say, yes, there are problems, uncle, summer is starting, the boys are leaving for a sailor , grandparents, i ’m left alone in the yard all summer, no brother or sister, i say, yes, it’s not a problem, ask your mom and dad, brother or sister, evgen, they snore so much at night, i’m even embarrassed to ask for a bicycle. recently i was in a small town, and there a local businessman decided to celebrate his anniversary , so he gathered everyone, the businessmen of the city, the management, the administration, at the right time he and his wife stood on the porch, waiting for everyone, and

a three-year-old baby next to them, with a butterfly. now everyone has arrived, they are walking sedately in pairs, to the mansion, there are already about four meters left, and the kid is just screaming at the whole yard, and you came to clean our house today, right? and such an unpleasant pause hung, and the mayor, in order to defuse the situation, says: baby, why did you come to such a conclusion? come on, tell us, he , yesterday dad told mom, tomorrow everyone will come away with their mops, one of my colleagues, my son went to first grade, comes after the first lesson, looks at his parents with a sly eye, says: well, mom, dad, huh? now we have found out with the boys where children come from, we now know exactly where they come from, he was silent for a while, he said, until we just understood how they get there, the father says,

it would be better if he studied well, he didn’t have time to go, already i brought two, i even wrote a poem on this topic, it’s called a deuce again, such a hooligan poem, again a deuce, what a mess, what will dad say to me today, he’ll start beating me with a belt again, he’s always with him. another colleague of mine also has a son, which means he can’t pronounce the letter r a little, he ’s finishing the fourth quarter, summer is already around the corner, and he has two grandmothers, one is a good grandmother, he loves her, she lives in the village, there’s no soul in her he's wondering, the second city girl, he has a strained relationship with the city girl, so the city girl asks, vadik, what are your plans, the school year is ending, well, my parents said, if i finish the fourth quarter well, then... they will send me to a camp, with the guys at sea, if i finish secondary school, then to baba nyusi in the village, if it’s really bad to you, my sister’s neighbor asked

me to babysit my daughter, she’s about five years old, she says, just control her behavior, i’ll go to the store so she doesn’t misbehave, and she has a large new doll set, there’s a masha doll, she has everything in the set for this doll, there's even a guy there, his name is sasha, well, my sister says: i'm reading the newspaper, girl plays with dolls, prepares the doll for bed , draws a bath of water , disassembles the crib, completely undresses masha, completely, this is important, completely undresses sasha, holds them so opposite each other, my sister says, i was wondering what would happen next, i even i put the newspaper aside, and i’m sitting, waiting, and the girl says, i don’t advise you to watch, this is about to start. for example, such a modern phenomenon as a husband for an hour, there is

, they say, such a company, a husband for an hour, where they offer new services , wife for half an hour, mistress for the night, friends for half a liter and no job, two friends are talking, yesterday i called a specialist from... the company, my husband for the day, fixed the washing machine, hung the curtains, cut in the lock, adjusted the barrel in the toilet, emptied the bar and the refrigerator, slept with a married neighbor, and gave me a black eye before saying goodbye, friend replies: and i called, so he asked for a divorce after 20 minutes, he got caught in some kind of nervous pancake, as a result, he was fired from the farm, because he couldn’t work hard for more than 5 minutes.